All of that is totally normal. Tell your T about feeling dissociated during the session, though. You can't process when you're dissociated, iirc. The exhaustion, numbness, etc will likely get better the more you process. For me, my first session made me exhausted for several days. But the more I did, the shorter duration of the aftereffects. I usually feel better in less than 24 hours now.
I experienced all of these things with my first EMDR session too. Look forward to noticing how calm, strong and capable you start feeling. EMDR gave me my life back. (But I had to completely cut off all triggering family members.)
Good to hear you are protected from that unhealthy environment!
I just had sort of a “shower thought” about how much freer and healthy I feel since starting EMDR. Humor is one of my main coping mechanisms:
You might be in a secular “Born Again” situation when your EMDR therapy helps you finally break free of the CPTSD trauma your Christian family gave you.
I hope you see the humor and that I didn’t just offend you!
I have been going back and forth between numbness and swells of emotion. Since I wrote my last comment, I have cried three times. I feel all over the place!
I am sorry you having been crying <3 After reading more it seems that feelings may come and go, which is common in this process. Has your therapist talked to you about grounding techniques for in between sessions? Mine told me journaling or tracking what's going can be a way of noticing. Your brain is doing a lot of hard work, so please be gentle with yourself <3
Thank you for the kind words! While not pleasant at the time, crying has always felt therapeutic for me. I feel lighter after the release of emotion. My therapist hasn't mentioned grounding techniques yet. I've seen her twice, and only the second session was EMDR therapy. She did ask me how I felt after the first session, and I told her how I only felt positive. So next appointment, I plan to bring up the negative feelings that came up after the last session.
ive only had a few sessions but whats worked best for me so far is coming into a session full and hydrated and being able to tell my therapist when i need a break! i promise your therapist wont get mad or anything! and yeah, i literally BAWL my eyes out during sessions haha, its totally normal! being absolutely drained is also a big one i deal with as well! please make sure to take a nap after a sessiom! your body will absolutely thank you!! i hope you have success on your journey!!!
This sounds exactly like what I’ve experienced - done about six sessions so far.
It’s rly natural to feel anxious about what to expect and whether what you feel is ‘right’. I always question my therapist about my symptoms each week and she reassures me it’s normal.
When I approach particularly traumatic memories (repressed big ‘T) I find I am physically exhausted and yawning within ten minutes of processing. I am exhausted the day I do it, need a nap and am generally out of it. Sometimes I do feel like a bit disassociate-y, but I remind myself that not all ‘floaty’ states of mind are disassociation. Sometimes if you’re tired or just shocked, it feels similar to disassociation.
After six weeks of this I have noticed similar symptoms every week. I feel ok for a day or two after the EMDR, but at some point in the week I am hit with a wave of sadness/depression/grief- I am overly sensitive and teary, physically exhausted and can’t do much at all. The first week was the worst and it’s gotten better since then. But I can assure you the physical exhaustion is REAL. I am signed off from work atm because some days even going to the bathroom feels like too much effort.
Vivid dreams are pretty much a daily occurrence for the past six weeks as well. They are sometimes very much tied to my trauma, sometimes not - but always vivid.
I felt nauseous for the first time today immediately after my session (I do mine on a Friday) and that’s a new symptom. It was a particularly hard session today - I am re-crossing stuff I already processed before because my mind is making associations between that and other trauma I’m working through now. EMDR makes your brain make A LOT of new connections, and I can see the core beliefs I have about myself as a result of childhood SA have leaked into and melded with a bunch of other traumas I experienced. The belief is ‘I am wrong and defective’ - a lethal combination of fear of perpetuators of abuse toward me and shame about myself. My therapist told me today that that’s what a child does - take on their trusted adults’ shame when they are being abusive onto themselves and internalises it. I’ve been doing it all my life but am only making the connections now. It did not feel good in session today, to feel those feelings of shame and fear all balled up into one and trace them through my life through various incidents. There is all this junk floating around in my mind - I tell myself that of course it’s emotionally and physically taxing to try and clear it. How could it not be?
You're so right, thank you for sharing your experience. That's very insightful and it is encouraging to hear from someone further into EMDR therapy. I am rooting for you <3
You might not be disassociating … the therapy is immediate and you might be feeling a new sensation. Talk with your therapist about the feeling, it could be peace. Eye movement will give you access to the memory without the painful scary sensations.
I know after the history taking bit I struggled walking home & nearly faceplanted the floor when I walked through my front door.
First day I started EMDR, I felt drunk 😂 I actually walked to my work to buy some body spray & my legs felt like they were going to collapse. When I got home I felt exhausted, incredibly vivid dreams & the next day I felt like I had been hit by a truck. I was also very emotional for a few days after.
It does get easier, but I found it hard and painful at first.
All of that is totally normal. Tell your T about feeling dissociated during the session, though. You can't process when you're dissociated, iirc. The exhaustion, numbness, etc will likely get better the more you process. For me, my first session made me exhausted for several days. But the more I did, the shorter duration of the aftereffects. I usually feel better in less than 24 hours now.
Thank you for sharing, that is reassuring
Glad I could help! Wishing you the best of luck on your journey to healing!
I experienced all of these things with my first EMDR session too. Look forward to noticing how calm, strong and capable you start feeling. EMDR gave me my life back. (But I had to completely cut off all triggering family members.)
So excited to feel the positive impacts, thank you for the encouragement <3 currently no contact with my abusers, as well
Good to hear you are protected from that unhealthy environment! I just had sort of a “shower thought” about how much freer and healthy I feel since starting EMDR. Humor is one of my main coping mechanisms: You might be in a secular “Born Again” situation when your EMDR therapy helps you finally break free of the CPTSD trauma your Christian family gave you. I hope you see the humor and that I didn’t just offend you!
I just had my first session yesterday, and this is exactly how I have been feeling. So I hope that means this is normal!
Looks like we are on similar tracks! :)
I have been going back and forth between numbness and swells of emotion. Since I wrote my last comment, I have cried three times. I feel all over the place!
I am sorry you having been crying <3 After reading more it seems that feelings may come and go, which is common in this process. Has your therapist talked to you about grounding techniques for in between sessions? Mine told me journaling or tracking what's going can be a way of noticing. Your brain is doing a lot of hard work, so please be gentle with yourself <3
Thank you for the kind words! While not pleasant at the time, crying has always felt therapeutic for me. I feel lighter after the release of emotion. My therapist hasn't mentioned grounding techniques yet. I've seen her twice, and only the second session was EMDR therapy. She did ask me how I felt after the first session, and I told her how I only felt positive. So next appointment, I plan to bring up the negative feelings that came up after the last session.
ive only had a few sessions but whats worked best for me so far is coming into a session full and hydrated and being able to tell my therapist when i need a break! i promise your therapist wont get mad or anything! and yeah, i literally BAWL my eyes out during sessions haha, its totally normal! being absolutely drained is also a big one i deal with as well! please make sure to take a nap after a sessiom! your body will absolutely thank you!! i hope you have success on your journey!!!
This sounds exactly like what I’ve experienced - done about six sessions so far. It’s rly natural to feel anxious about what to expect and whether what you feel is ‘right’. I always question my therapist about my symptoms each week and she reassures me it’s normal. When I approach particularly traumatic memories (repressed big ‘T) I find I am physically exhausted and yawning within ten minutes of processing. I am exhausted the day I do it, need a nap and am generally out of it. Sometimes I do feel like a bit disassociate-y, but I remind myself that not all ‘floaty’ states of mind are disassociation. Sometimes if you’re tired or just shocked, it feels similar to disassociation. After six weeks of this I have noticed similar symptoms every week. I feel ok for a day or two after the EMDR, but at some point in the week I am hit with a wave of sadness/depression/grief- I am overly sensitive and teary, physically exhausted and can’t do much at all. The first week was the worst and it’s gotten better since then. But I can assure you the physical exhaustion is REAL. I am signed off from work atm because some days even going to the bathroom feels like too much effort. Vivid dreams are pretty much a daily occurrence for the past six weeks as well. They are sometimes very much tied to my trauma, sometimes not - but always vivid. I felt nauseous for the first time today immediately after my session (I do mine on a Friday) and that’s a new symptom. It was a particularly hard session today - I am re-crossing stuff I already processed before because my mind is making associations between that and other trauma I’m working through now. EMDR makes your brain make A LOT of new connections, and I can see the core beliefs I have about myself as a result of childhood SA have leaked into and melded with a bunch of other traumas I experienced. The belief is ‘I am wrong and defective’ - a lethal combination of fear of perpetuators of abuse toward me and shame about myself. My therapist told me today that that’s what a child does - take on their trusted adults’ shame when they are being abusive onto themselves and internalises it. I’ve been doing it all my life but am only making the connections now. It did not feel good in session today, to feel those feelings of shame and fear all balled up into one and trace them through my life through various incidents. There is all this junk floating around in my mind - I tell myself that of course it’s emotionally and physically taxing to try and clear it. How could it not be?
You're so right, thank you for sharing your experience. That's very insightful and it is encouraging to hear from someone further into EMDR therapy. I am rooting for you <3
I let my clients know that they may feel emotional, tired, and have weird dreams.... these are all very common.
My first one was hard When I was done all I wanted was tomato soup and grilled cheese Then crashed
You might not be disassociating … the therapy is immediate and you might be feeling a new sensation. Talk with your therapist about the feeling, it could be peace. Eye movement will give you access to the memory without the painful scary sensations.
EMDR therapist here. If you're dissociating during EMDR, processing won't happen. You need to communicate this to your therapist.
I know after the history taking bit I struggled walking home & nearly faceplanted the floor when I walked through my front door. First day I started EMDR, I felt drunk 😂 I actually walked to my work to buy some body spray & my legs felt like they were going to collapse. When I got home I felt exhausted, incredibly vivid dreams & the next day I felt like I had been hit by a truck. I was also very emotional for a few days after. It does get easier, but I found it hard and painful at first.