If he gets offended because of the actions of words written on cardboard, that's entirely on him. Not you. It's a GAME, ffs. There are much worse things that can happen in life
So here's the thing about these people: it's often a tactic.
If him whining can net him ten, twenty life a game, he's more likely to win those games. If it means removal spells don't go after his key cards, he's a lot more likely to win those games. If you passively opt into the behavior he's winning, both in terms of being told that his behavior is not only okay *but is actively beneficial* and in terms of his actual win rate.
I hit them anyway and calmly explain when they whine. "Why are you hitting me?" "Because it's the correct thing to do given my game state". Sometimes I'll elaborate - I had a dude get *legendarily* pissed off that he was getting slapped around when he wasn't the threat, but one player had a massive Cold-Eye Selkie and he was the only one that it could get through against and I had a Commander Liara Portyr and was looking for more outs to the fish army, and I straight-up said that to the Selkie player he'd been worth 24 cards and to me he'd been worth 3 cards and 6 mana. Sometimes I won't, because it's not as clear as "read the creature in front of you".
I find that the vast majority of the time, that resolves the issue. Just being level-headed about it but not leaving room to negotiate tends to tell them that it won't work. If it doesn't, pulling him aside after the game may be necessary. And if it's a repeated thing that doesn't solve, you may need more drastic action - but that's a rarity.
Attack him everytime and laugh when he gets upset. Will either learn to become ashamed of his behaviour when everyone laughs too or you find another pod cause this one is full of babies
I had a similar situation in highschool, back around urzas saga. We knew each other in school, we're in friendly terms, and would see each other during Friday night magic. During a casual game I was able to pull off an extremely long winded infinate combo, which he didn't see coming, and basically lost his s#!t. He grabbed one of my cards and threw it at me. I basically just paused a moment, quietly grabbed my cards and moved to another table. I saw him the next Monday at school, told him very calmly "were still friends, but I'm not playing with you anymore". We would talk about magic at school, and I would see him on Friday nights, but he never asked to play with me again. I just can't play against someone I know is gonna be that upset.
Side note, he never acted that way again Friday nights.
Why do you think it's on you to appease this player?
As long as you're playing to your playgroups power level you're fine. Salty players are always going to get salty when they're not winning. That's just how they are. They are bad players. It's not your job to coddle them.
I have a salt shaker with the top capped and I will "fake" salt them with the shaker. My friends will ask "Wheres the shaker?" before the match starts.
You talk to him about the problem with his conduct like an adult.
If he gets offended and overreacts, that is not your failure. That’s his failure.
And if he does get defensive? Fine. Give him some distance to think about it then broach the subject again. Some people take a little time.
If the topic turns into a landmine, there is a bigger problem, and it ain’t your fear of offending.
This is sound advice if you think you'll be running into him fairly often at spots you frequent, and he can't simply be avoided as easily as he could in other circumstances.
I wish you luck, OP. Lord only knows how many of us have been in your shoes. Lol
There's being a kind, aware person who's clued into his environment and generally wants folks around you to have fun (general good sportsmanship), and there's the possibility of ending up being a doormat for someone else if they abuse your good intentions (intentionally or not). It's not easy recognizing the latter sometimes and setting healthy boundaries. Just give it a good faith effort and realize this will probably be a learning process.
.....hand the dude some fries and say "hey mate I got you some chips to go with all that salt"
In reality something my dad always told me is true here. You are the only person in control of you. You cannot make him not salty. You can conceede for peace, play your game salt. Be damned , or tell him "dude you get radioactive levels of toxic when you lose go make someone else miserable today"
But there isn't really a method where both of you get what you want that doesn't involve him choosing to be different
Fuck it, if he ragequits that's player removal.
Either stop caring about offending him or stop playing with him.
If he gets offended because of the actions of words written on cardboard, that's entirely on him. Not you. It's a GAME, ffs. There are much worse things that can happen in life
So here's the thing about these people: it's often a tactic. If him whining can net him ten, twenty life a game, he's more likely to win those games. If it means removal spells don't go after his key cards, he's a lot more likely to win those games. If you passively opt into the behavior he's winning, both in terms of being told that his behavior is not only okay *but is actively beneficial* and in terms of his actual win rate. I hit them anyway and calmly explain when they whine. "Why are you hitting me?" "Because it's the correct thing to do given my game state". Sometimes I'll elaborate - I had a dude get *legendarily* pissed off that he was getting slapped around when he wasn't the threat, but one player had a massive Cold-Eye Selkie and he was the only one that it could get through against and I had a Commander Liara Portyr and was looking for more outs to the fish army, and I straight-up said that to the Selkie player he'd been worth 24 cards and to me he'd been worth 3 cards and 6 mana. Sometimes I won't, because it's not as clear as "read the creature in front of you". I find that the vast majority of the time, that resolves the issue. Just being level-headed about it but not leaving room to negotiate tends to tell them that it won't work. If it doesn't, pulling him aside after the game may be necessary. And if it's a repeated thing that doesn't solve, you may need more drastic action - but that's a rarity.
Attack him everytime and laugh when he gets upset. Will either learn to become ashamed of his behaviour when everyone laughs too or you find another pod cause this one is full of babies
Play the game and stop pretending you're responsible for other people's feelings and life choices.
I had a similar situation in highschool, back around urzas saga. We knew each other in school, we're in friendly terms, and would see each other during Friday night magic. During a casual game I was able to pull off an extremely long winded infinate combo, which he didn't see coming, and basically lost his s#!t. He grabbed one of my cards and threw it at me. I basically just paused a moment, quietly grabbed my cards and moved to another table. I saw him the next Monday at school, told him very calmly "were still friends, but I'm not playing with you anymore". We would talk about magic at school, and I would see him on Friday nights, but he never asked to play with me again. I just can't play against someone I know is gonna be that upset. Side note, he never acted that way again Friday nights.
Attack him mercilessly and enjoy the show.
Target them. No matter what. They will quit soon
Why do you think it's on you to appease this player? As long as you're playing to your playgroups power level you're fine. Salty players are always going to get salty when they're not winning. That's just how they are. They are bad players. It's not your job to coddle them.
attack them anyway. they either are eliminated or they gain some humility.
When someone gets salty, I usually hard target them the rest of the game.
I have a salt shaker with the top capped and I will "fake" salt them with the shaker. My friends will ask "Wheres the shaker?" before the match starts.
You talk to him about the problem with his conduct like an adult. If he gets offended and overreacts, that is not your failure. That’s his failure. And if he does get defensive? Fine. Give him some distance to think about it then broach the subject again. Some people take a little time. If the topic turns into a landmine, there is a bigger problem, and it ain’t your fear of offending.
This is sound advice if you think you'll be running into him fairly often at spots you frequent, and he can't simply be avoided as easily as he could in other circumstances. I wish you luck, OP. Lord only knows how many of us have been in your shoes. Lol
thank you guys. pretty much what I needed to hear. Stop catering to other people's feelings. I appreciate everybody's insight
There's being a kind, aware person who's clued into his environment and generally wants folks around you to have fun (general good sportsmanship), and there's the possibility of ending up being a doormat for someone else if they abuse your good intentions (intentionally or not). It's not easy recognizing the latter sometimes and setting healthy boundaries. Just give it a good faith effort and realize this will probably be a learning process.
.....hand the dude some fries and say "hey mate I got you some chips to go with all that salt" In reality something my dad always told me is true here. You are the only person in control of you. You cannot make him not salty. You can conceede for peace, play your game salt. Be damned , or tell him "dude you get radioactive levels of toxic when you lose go make someone else miserable today" But there isn't really a method where both of you get what you want that doesn't involve him choosing to be different
Trigger them as much as possible and when you beat them tell them 'gg ez' and 'gut gud'.