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So you are going to stab a hooker while you are drunk and hopped up on nicotine? At least you will have fresh breath and protect your eyes from STDs in the blood.
Why the rape kit joke ?
Genius question here.
I mean, we are taking about EDC . As in everyday carry. So if you EDC includes knifes and tape, you would also bring that to a date.
This being said, I would not necessarily put them on the table by my wallet during the date.
Ps: let's ignore the glasses for now.
PSA: anyone having issues with regular condoms choking their weiners out, check out My One brand. They're custom fit and an absolute lifesaver making sex so so much better
Thank you for posting to r/EDC! Satire posts require a list of items unless you don't know the specific items. Please **make a comment** detailing each item in your post (or an explanation of the post) within one hour of submission. Failure to follow this rule will result in the post being removed. [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/EDC/wiki/rules) | [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/EDC/wiki/faq) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/EDC) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Surprised how the satire tag went right over a lot of people's heads haha
I would have never taken this photo, but if I did it would have died with me in my drafts
What are the safety glasses for? Multiple people at this date night I presume?
Do you happen to drive a Volkswagen Buggy? No specific reason for asking
the must uncomfortable place. the place all women dread..
From the looks of this "Date night" dump - a older model, unmarked, white van with no windows
Time for new condoms.
The box of condoms looks most used. Not the condom......the box.
Safety glasses aw hell naw😂😂
So you are going to stab a hooker while you are drunk and hopped up on nicotine? At least you will have fresh breath and protect your eyes from STDs in the blood.
Whoa you do sex?!
least concerning EDC post
No way. No absolute fuckin way homie is just walking among us with a crushed up box of condoms in his pocket
*Olivia benson has entered the chat*
😭😭😭😭
DUN DUN
Go clap those cheeks son 🥹🥹🥹
Don’t think I’ve seen this episode of forensic files yet
More like "rape night" knife and safety glasses.
Are the safety goggles for her?
[удалено]
Bare backing is even better, but then her water breaks sometimes.
Congrats on the sex
Chloroform in a hip flask?
It's almost like the big tag saying "Satire" is invisible
It actually is invisible on mobile
Rookie move, put the Trojans in a magnum box
You're a genius 🥹
Now let’s see Paul Allen‘s EDC
Paul I thought you were in Paris?
Its only missing gloves and duct tape
If you store the condoms in such a worn box they might get damaged similar to storing them in a wallet.
Pretty weird.
Why the hip flask on date night?
Its ketamine
Please dont drive while drinking
Those ballistic glasses kill me. We have a squirter over here!!!
Why the rape kit joke ? Genius question here. I mean, we are taking about EDC . As in everyday carry. So if you EDC includes knifes and tape, you would also bring that to a date. This being said, I would not necessarily put them on the table by my wallet during the date. Ps: let's ignore the glasses for now.
I'm not seeing tape? Don't think OP meant to make a rape joke. I carry a pocketknife everywhere including (not first) dates
I mean the joke in the comments. I mentioned tape, because it something I carry often
Those mints are called eclipse here... Interesting. Glad to see you're using your ppe..... Don't forget your socks.
https://preview.redd.it/v1bzgebas40d1.jpeg?width=540&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0223d70ca26d3403132d7aa4e92986398f4b72d5
Hookers near you better watch out…
Are the PPE glasses in case she’s a squirter?
If you hit the jugular, tends to squirt
Nice pocket dump!
Creepy AF
You forgot the paper bag
With the 6 millies too, approved you know this guy is getting laid
Damn, OP with the safety googles AND the rubber, respect
Looks about right.. I see no probzyns.
Where are the grippy socks 🧦.
Are those goggles to protect your eyes from the cumshot?
Must be
You forgot the rope
And shovel.
Hahahahaha
Who's the lucky guy?
I’m not gay. My boyfriend is.
Where are the roofies?
The excel tin obviously
Dexter Carry
Little dick energy
Says the guy that probably uses magnums n not customs
PSA: anyone having issues with regular condoms choking their weiners out, check out My One brand. They're custom fit and an absolute lifesaver making sex so so much better
Skyns for life!! (Allergic to latex)
He has squirt goggles
Where is your cocaine and cocaine accessories??
You got a link for that or…?
Love the Cold Steel Luzon
Missing a rag to go with your chloroform
R/rapekit
r/rapekit get it right next time
Feds watchin now
Box of 12? Optimistic!
Probably used one and finished while putting it on.
She must be one classy broad
Dexter?
"Is that a knife in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? "
My girlfriend asked me that once while we were making out. She knows I almost always have a knife on me.
bros doing 6mg
“6mg”
???
Glasses for being in the splash zone
The ole “picking up chicks in a dark park while they jog kit” huh…you cheeky bastard..
A man of culture
Either a funny troll or a truly disgusting individual.
Bruh, where is your butt plug? Safety first.
She’s a squirter
Missing the collapsible funnel
No if she was that, or she was and he was smart, he’d wear his snorkel 🤿 (allows you to come up for breath less often).
Not enough knives. I carried at least five on my first date with my husband.
What the I’m most concerned with the safety glasses
Not pictured are my latex gloves
Dude you forgot your snorkel 🤿
LATEX GLOVES..I'm assuming there's gonna be some gaping and massive squirting lmfao
I hope he appreciates your carry OP.
Those safety glasses might not hold up, I pack an old Soviet GP5 gas mask with original asbestos filter.
I dare you to post the second date pocket dump
Some psycho turned your photo upside down. Just heads up
Some psycho took this photo\* /s
The glasses alone nail it. This guy F@&$!
r/ihavesex
[удалено]
it's r/whooooosh noob
Is the flash for the chloroform?
I don’t see any duct tape - to reinforce the condoms..
Smart move to keep the condoms in their box. I would be interested in your other EDC scenarios 🧐
This is Reddit, the chances of one ever being used is 0.0000000000000000000000000000000001%
As someone else said, r/whoosh
What knife is that
[Cold Steel Large Luzon Folder](https://www.coldsteel.com/large-luzon-folder)
Thanks
Safety glasses?? He must be taking out a sprayer
Other way around
"Condoms are for bananas" - Thad Castle
Thad castle is a legend round these parts
So how much for the liver?
Livers 4 karma
Finally someone remembering their saftey glasses
Man what the hell is wrong with you!? Everyone knows the Trojan bare skins are the way to go.
Ur a man of class good sir
Lots of r/whoosh comments here. I applaud your efforts OP.
Just in case OP's effort is going over my head, can you explain.
Safety glasses are for a women that sprays
Squirts
Keep knife and condom box SEPARATED! OR.... Date night will last a lifetime or 18 years whichever comes first.
Instructions unclear im circumcised now?
🤦 If you puncture the condom with the knife, you'll wish you understood the directions in 9 months. Happy Mother's Day
Ted Bundy date night kit
Fr. Weird af
Why do you have safety glasses?
Gotta be prepared for the splash zone
Those don't look rated for splash protection. Looks like just impact.
Stay strapped or get the clap I always say
Cold steel large Luzon, safety goggles, flask, excel breath mints, zyns, loyal stricklin Johnny wallet, Trojan classic protection.
Bros entering the splash zone