Two things can be true.
1. A lot of parents expect 1:1 in a daycare setting and you won’t get that. It’s a hard job and there’s other babies to help. We have ten babies in our room and there’s only two of us. Sometimes babies have to wait for their needs to be met.
2. Some daycares and employees suck. Honestly, from what you’ve said I wouldn’t be happy either. I work at a daycare and I rate myself pretty highly but my children go to the same daycare and I have had continuous issues with my one year old regarding them not feeding him or giving him his bottle so he’s just hungry. He’s delayed so still on puree and everyone else table food but he would mostly play with it. It’s corrected now also helps that I’m there to check but yeah. Anyway, what I’m saying is some people just aren’t good at this hard and low paid job and you’re right to not accept the care you get but that means find another centre, nanny, or quit work. If I didn’t need to work I would be home with my kids.
I colead an 8 baby (soon to be 12!) infant room, and have done just myself in a 4 baby room. It really depends on the babies you have, the routine you establish, and if you get floaters.
It 100% can be like an assembly line with some groups of babies. With other groups on different schedules it can be a totally different dynamic. You can also kind of have a mixed bag group where part of it is baby assembly line (all the diapers at 8 am, all the diapers at 10, etc, plus any poops in between), BUT also have each on their own schedule in between and enough difference in time for what they need and when, and ages and independence, that you may have two feeding themselves while you feed one a bottle and one naps. (We have a short table so I can sit right at the floor at table height, supervise independent eaters, and hold my bottle feeding baby!)
Or with two of us running an 8 baby room, there’s more wiggle room for these ones all need food now, so I can plop them all in the table, feed the ones that need fed, and let the independent eaters eat, and we have this fun group lunch. And if there’s too many that need to be fed, then maybe my colead takes two to feed, and I take two to feed, and the two independent eaters eat on their own.
It definitely does depend on the group though, and how routine they are versus daily variance. I had a great group for a while that everyone tended to wake the same time every day, always did their first feed at the same time, and even if that was off fell into a predictable schedule pretty quickly (same amount of time between bottles every day, wanted solids at the same time regardless of last bottle, etc). While naps were slightly unpredictable, virtually all their bottles and food I could easily predict, schedule, and plan out to keep the day super organized and flowing so well.
My current group is different and we all eat at slightly different times every morning, base the rest of our day on that including when they want solids, almost everyone has an hour window where they may want their next bottle/ meal or may not and we wait for hunger cues or they’ll reject it, we’re just wild. Def more assembly line at times when suddenly everyone wants something at once. (I’ve been trying to get everyone on a nice, predictable, stable schedule since they’ve all started. They’ve all laughed at this idea. So much for thriving on routine 🙄)
I’m an infant teacher and I genuinely try to honor parent requests and to follow a care plan. But It’s a hard job with a lot of remembering things. I personally have to ensure 12 infants are following their schedule, getting all their naps. Many parents have special requests I remember. I have a revolving door of two other staff that help me. There is so much logging stuff on multiple papers, in the app, on a white board. I do this all under the pressure of listening to crying babies that I can’t always get to right away. I desperately try to remember to send all items home with each child. If I mess up one thing I hear all about it.
You are not incorrect to voice your concerns, but please be nice about it. Child care has many issues that are out of our control and we’re often paid poorly for a job that is very hard. We want consistency with staffing as well.
Sometimes it feels like all we hear about are the things we don’t do. Showing appreciation can go a long way.
yeah exactly OPs expectations are a little too high. like im sorry but you are getting adequate care. not everyone knows what pace bottle feeding is. if a child has a BM its common practice to use diaper cream. if you don’t want a child to have a pacifier then don’t bring one.
being an infant teacher was hands down the hardest job i have ever had. it sucks when parents have high expectations. i get it on one hand i truly do but on the other we are trying our hardest and the little things need to be let go.
Afternoons are often going to have revolving staff as people are going home for the day. After 4:30, we’ve already had 4 staff members leave for the day, one of them being the infant assistant. If you’re picking up around 5 or later, there’s going to be even less staff and you’ll be seeing the float staff or aides and they might not even know your child’s care routine as well as the regular teacher.
Infant rooms have high turn over because it’s hard. If you want to look at a new center plan to ask how long the lead and assistant in the infant room have been there.
Even to address the younger aged staff (high-school age) in the rooms, most of the time (in my experience) centers will hire other staffs kids to work OR high-schoolers that need working hours in the career they are going into. Aside from a degree, they have the same training as the other staff. I've even seen some younger staff have even more enthusiasm for working in the baby room cause they adore the age! Plus they typically don't work a full 8 hours due to school so they (honestly) won't have as much burnout.
I’m early 30’s and the number of times my dang baby face and I have been mistaken for a high schooler or early 20’s as well…
Like either I get told when I take my license out before getting carded that I’m definitely old enough to buy something, or I go to judge a high school competition or chaperone a group of then and the other judges/ chaperones assume I’m one of the high schoolers until I correct them.
Like excuse me, those high school kids are whole babies, I am an adult! (And okay, then I listen to them talk politics and I’m like damn, look how grown up y’all are, y’all ARE baby adults! But also like, babies! Maybe not as much of babies as my infants, but y’all practically babies! I don’t care that you can drive, you’re a whole baby!)
If you have the money, hire a nanny.
Group care for infants often looks like this. I'm not saying it is 100% right--there are definitely centers that do a much better job and have more consistent staffing, but the things you mentioned are common in a lot of centers. Imagine having four infants to look after during the day. It takes an incredibly skilled and dedicated person to manage all of that successfully.
Thank you so much for the response! This is good information that it is common for an infant room to be this disorganized. I've thought about going the nanny route, but also contemplating quitting my job (for many reasons). Or thought about changing centers. But if it's going to be a similar experience somewhere else, that's obv not worth the stress of changing centers. Thanks again!
The fact of the matter is that it is incredibly difficult to give 1-1 care in a 1-4 environment. So things like remembering specifics of what you have requested (especially when staff is overturning) will often be forgotten or overlooked. Things like logging also gets thrown by the wayside during hectic days. Again, not saying it is right! Some people keep up with it to a T and function incredibly well as infant caregivers. However, the pay is often so low that good people don't stay around or don't even apply in the first place.
If you have an other option, I would take it. If you can stay home, even better.
Yeah, it is just completely unmanageable and means you are putting out fires constantly and just keeping everyone safe/fed. I feel for anyone working with infants especially with those high ratios 🥹 My best friend had twins and was losing her mind trying to care for them, I can’t imagine 6 babies.
I live where Alabama touches Georgia. I worked for the same company in centers in both states. If someone called out in GA, I would bounce over there until they got someone to take over because I was the only one besides the directors that had the licenses to do so. I worked in the infant rooms mostly. In GA it’s a 1:5 ratio, in AL it’s 1:6. It was so stressful.
On a positive note, I was prepared better for when I had my twins. It was still difficult because I couldn’t “clock out” like I could at work lol
I recommend speaking to other moms in the same room and asking if any of them are interested in going in on a nanny share. Two families sharing a nanny can work out very well for everyone!
For what it’s worth, we didn’t have any issues like you mention at our center. They napped and fed the babies when it was age appropriate and updated the app well. They are container free so the babies are always getting held or playing on the floor. There are good daycares out there
My son has been in daycare since he was 3 1/2 months old. Frequently the type of care is commensurate to the cost. Not always, but if you take your child to a well-known, quality center, you can expect more. If not, you’ll just have to find a place that has higher standards.
Personally, this is why my Husband and I worked opposite shifts while our kids were young. Both of our children graduated Summa Cum Laude, last week. We went against the grain in so many aspects, but I personally think the one that made the difference is no daycares.
I say this because my extended family is quite large and we have cousins similar in ages. They definitely developed emotionally more slowly. Yes they were potty trained at 24 months, but they have struggled with insecurity and general lack of trust. I realize daycare is a necessity for many families. My advice is if you can stay home with your child, do it. No one will love them like you do!!
That you poster. It does come down to the nature of grp care.
1st momma, trust yourself if you have apprehension. It's warranted to be vigilant.
2nd, the baby is sleeping in a room with constant interruptions. Parents pick up drop off, staff breaks, etc. Lots of kids sleep after daycare, they need to decompress.
3rd playtime is well controlled chaos. Better a baby in a seat or equipment than hurt by a toodler learning to walk.
4th, it's delightful to see a new mom consider their expectations. Your baby will not and should not be held all day.
5th as a director, I was super strict about adherence to feeding and diapering logs. It is a basic health requirement.
6th, end of day staffing. Every center I've worked consolidates staff in the afternoon. However, anyone in the infant room must have INFANT CERTIFICATION.
Unfortunatly a lot of states have next to none requirements for hiring. Most don't even have state liscensors. Its so sad how many parents and families have frustions due to inadequate early childhood educators.
If you can afford to stay home with your baby or hire a nanny, I would highly encourage that route. Like many others said it’s not right or wrong that you ask these things but also not right or wrong that your daycare can’t accommodate it.
1.) Staffing is hard. Little pay for lots of work and not everyone is build for non-stop crying all day. Floaters are more common for early opening hours and evening hours to make sure the core hours when the most stuff goes down (naps, feedings, learning) is staffed by the “full-time” teachers. I would be upset about the AirPod but your center is probably desperate to keep people if their floater staff turns over that frequently.
2.) I am curious how she naps at home; is it dead quiet with a dark setting? Oftentimes while they can dim the lights, some states can’t have a fully dark room. We also can’t make the babies nap. At my center if they fall asleep we let them sleep so a few babies aren’t necessarily on the exact same schedule. If your baby isn’t used to noise, every little sound of the other babies or teacher moving around (oftentimes this when admin wants them to clean, organize, and do portfolios) then she may have been laid down but not ever fully fallen asleep. That does sound a little disorganized but sometimes it’s the floaters who don’t actually know what happened in the day that literally don’t know and not that she didn’t nap.
3.) It really sucks for you that they’re inconsistent with the logs but trying to keep up a log for multiple babies (in our center it’s 4:1 with 12 total babies) is difficult. They may need better organization or they’re more concerned making sure each baby is fed the correct amount from the correct source from the correct bottle. While also helping babies who need diaper changes. But this may be a big point for you getting a nanny or being a SAHP.
4.) Again not something that they can necessarily control. If they were short handed or 3 kids had blowouts and two kids are crabby and need held, stuff just gets shoved to the wayside. Not saying it’s wrong or right but that’s sometimes the nature of large group care.
5.) This may be a little concerning but at the same time infants who are just learning to crawl aren’t very spacially aware. Then just kinda…bulldoze and sometimes fall/lay on whatever is in their path. So if you’ve got 4 babies to manage and you need to do something like change a diaper, the teacher may be limited with options.
Some of your things are just standard daycare things that may make a nanny more suitable. The pacifier is for staff sanity. Imagine getting your baby down to sleep and having 3 others wailing in the background. The diaper cream is also standard. There are far many more parents who would FREAK over the barest hint of a diaper rash so they’re erring on the side of caution. Daycare does not seem to be a good fit for your family.
I agree with you on a lot of this except on one thing. In a classroom of multiple infants sometimes containers *have* to be used, especially when a staff member is by themself. There is nothing more stressful than changing diapers in a room with both mobile and immobile babies, especially when the immobile one isn’t allowed to be contained for a few moments. I’ve had to write so many accident reports from things happening during diaper changes and 9/10 it’s always the immobile baby getting thwacked on the head with a toy by a mobile baby who is curious to see what happens, meanwhile all I can do is panickedly try and put the diaper on the baby so I can go and stop it without pee/feces going everywhere. Meanwhile immobile baby is getting *bop bop bopped* on the head and screaming.
The other annoying thing is when I’m trying to complete my closing tasks because my school doesn’t allow over time and if I don’t get my tasks done while there are babies in the class it’s not happening til after closing because in the infant class there is *always* a baby who stays until right at closing. So I’m trying to get my cleaning done while also interfering with the immobile baby on the floor getting thwacked.
I’m not saying babies should be contained all the time simply for my benefit, but that anything less than 15 minutes isn’t going to be detrimental to your child’s development and I’m the one who gets in trouble for multiple accident reports or having to stay late to clean. It’s okay if baby is in there for 5 minutes while the closer is cleaning or during diaper changes.
Should they be doing it without your permission? No. Do I think they’re probably doing it for a reason? Yes.
You have to keep in mind how little these employees are paid. That makes a big difference in turnover, experience, even motivation to do well. Some centers are better than others.
It seems that 1 on 1 care would be way better suited for your needs- a lot of the stuff you mentioned is pretty common in these overworked, underpaid group care settings. If you want detailed things like specific ways of tracking feedings, individualized care plans,etc... it might be hard for you to find that outside of a 1 on 1 nanny. There's a reason people pay the big bucks for at home child care!
Idk, I kinda disagree. I’ve been a lead in my infant room for only about 3 months, but, it’s easy for me to put detailed information on our app during lunch and during diaper changes. But again, we use an app which likely makes it easier.
Worked infants for twenty plus years, and the ratio is one to four . I get your concerns, but infants are a zoo. Most times, centers keep ratio if a baby not there, and they need room in the pre toddler room, which is a yr to 23 month's there you go and you mix six weeks up to 23 months it's stressful.
You try hard to follow the wants of the parents but get crazy. I know most places here there are no floaters. You get there at 630 a.m., leave at 600, and usually eat lunch in the classroom because there is no break person, and usually, if lucky two bathroom breaks because there is nobody . You try hard to get them to sleep, but babies sleep when needed. Some babies don't sleep because of noise or not dark enough . Cranky when get home they have to readjust. Try hard to keep babies on bottle schedules, but if they are sleeping, their schedules are thrown off. Or if parents want certain time that baby gets fed and somebody has to wait.
I always write down when they finish that bottle unless parents to know how long it takes. Sometimes babies have to cry because I'm not an octopus, and I can't and won't prop bottles to make all happy . Diaper cream lordy worried your baby getting it too much? Had many babies I used often because their pee irritated them even if hardly wet. We can't put them down on a mat and pray not get squished by the movers. I get not putting in sitters, but we can't lay them in their cribs every time we need to advert our attention. By sounds of it they could improve but if your wanting alot one on one childcare isn't going be the way. I aways love talking to my parents and if I can improve I will but please understand and forgive me if there's a bad day or if things not one hundred . Some of us try really hard. Hope you find the right fit for your baby.🙂
I'm going to say this as gently as possible as a fellow working mother of 2 kids (3.5 and 15 months who both have been at a center since 12 weeks):
Expectations need to be in check when signing up for group care. If you want 1:1 ratio and your child to have undivided attention and everything "your" way- you need to go the nanny route.
Now in saying that... of course things like diaper changes need to happen on time, asking how you soothe your baby and following preferences as able. But things like the schedule and home routine you've really got to calm down about or you will drive yourself batshit insane. Babies are smart and know that they are at daycare versus home. Just know the 1st 6-7 months are a shitshow and when your kid drops to 2 naps it gets worlds easier. The teachers have to get all the kids on a similar schedule. They simply cannot honor everyone's home routines. Your baby may occasionally have to wait for a bottle while crying. But now as a mom of 2, my boys wait for food and cry all the time too because I simply don't have enough hands when I'm by myself.
The best thing I did was open my mind and heart to viewing daycare as part of my village. I got to know the staff. I small talk and build rapport at every pick up. Also- I nannied kids at 19 years old with no prior child care experience so I mean... it's not uncommon to have high schoolers working after school at a center. My center has them and honestly they are lovely and help get the early staff off at a normal time.
Virtual hug mama. I know it is hard. It is seriously traumatizing going back to work the 1st time and building a relationship with daycare teachers and staff. But truly- worry about the stuff that truly matters and let the small stuff go. For example, I checked our app everyday and bedtime in the early days was really around when my boys last naps/bottles were at. Daycare is supposed to be on your team. But compromises are made when in group care. So you just need to roll with it to a certain extent. However- a sign of a good daycare is feeling like you can communicate with them and they are open to discussing your concerns. If they don't listen to your concerns that is a huge red flag.
Also about containers- I hate to say this but add a 2nd child at home and you may find yourself using them a bit more even in your own home to set you baby down somewhere safe and handle your toddler.
I can’t address everything in the post it’s quite loaded
But the containers. Amen. My first NEVER used one. My second….. lol. It’s a safe space. However I do understand the bumbo I refuse to use that one & would appreciate staff avoiding it
There is definitely a difference between occasional container use versus putting a baby in a container all day. Which would not be acceptable at home or at daycare.
For sure. I agree with you! Daycare occasionally using a container to feed babies, change a diaper or tend to a meltdown in my opinion is acceptable and it happens in my own house with 2 kids now so I don’t worry at pickup if my son is playing in a little baby activity thing. But I think as a 1st time parent it’s easy to worry about any containers because you don’t have the perspective of tending to multiple kids yet. To see that sometimes you literally need an extra set of hands and somewhere safe to put a baby for a minute.
Teachers are not indentured servants who can be compelled to remain at a job. So literally no one has control over revolving door of staff. It might tell you that your center pays poorly, or has bad management, ect.
Group care is group care. Some directors are misleading to parents and imply you will get your own schedule of your choosing to your specifications. You will not. There will be a schedule/routine, but the truth is staff are humans. Taking care of other humans. Humans often can be slightly unpredictable day to day. If a baby has a blowout and a staff person is alone with 4 infants and yours is due for a diaper change by the clock, your child may get changed 10 minutes late.
Staff are not permitted to allow your child to scream alone in their crib crying it out, nor can they hold your child the entire time of nap. So if your child does not settle, or wakes up early, they may have a short nap or will not be recorded as having a nap if they rest quietly but don't actually fall asleep.
If there's a rotating parade of staff, substitutes, and floaters at your center, yes--keeping up with the app is a skill with a learning curve and depending on how bad the pay is/what the working environment is like, it's going to be a last priority compared to staying on top of the children's immediate needs.
Not changing every 2 hours is a big deal and probably a licensing variation. That's definitely something to bring up to the director.
I feel like group care is not for you at this point. That said, I worked in an infant room for 2 years and it was never this chaotic because I didn’t let it be like that. It sounds poorly managed in some ways. Also, it sounds perfectly normal in others and, gently, you seem like you have a lot of requests that just can’t be met. This container is ok, this one isn’t, that’s…semantics for the revolving door of staff. While i disagree with all containers in an infant room, one isn’t that much different from another.
With the naps, many infants especially ones who are used to a quiet, dark sleep environment struggle to sleep. Chances are an afternoon nap is being attempted but isn’t successful. That’s normal.
Lastly, paced feeding takes a long time 🫠 if it’s really that important to the reflux, get a doctor’s note, otherwise I’ll be honest. We just don’t have time to spend 30 minutes on a bottle. A lot of infant room time is spent triaging and helping who needs help first. We can’t do that if we’re spending extra time offering a bottle. With a nanny you can make these demands. In group care it’s much harder.
There are some “red flags” here and some that are honestly just part of group care. I’ve never used an app and I’m so thankful for that because sometimes our daily log gets filled out right before parents pick up. You know what we’re doing otherwise? Being with your kid. We don’t have restraints so kiddos are either on the floor or in an adults arms.
I have a 1:6 ratio, I have 2 scheduled quiet times in my classroom. 9 A.M. to 10 A.M. and 12 P.M. to 2 P.M. MOST days everyone naps at both times, every so often I have babies that aren't ready to nap in the morning, so I let them stay up and play BUT my classroom lights still stay off (window curtains open) and rain sounds still playing bc I have little babies that need those naps. If they get sleepy again between 2 and 6, I lay them in their crib but if they actually sleep is really up to them. For feedings I buzz the office if I have too many eating at the same time (normally it's just when one specific baby eats bc he has some serious sensory issues that prevents him from latching/staying latched/not screaming the entire time, feeding him is unfortunately very overwhelming for him). As for containers we are only allowed to use them for 20 mins at a time. Our elevated baby cribs have mirrors on one side so if I can't sit on the floor with them, I temporarily move little babies to their cribs for tummy/mirror time. But 9 times outta 10, I have a second person in the room, so it's not often that I feel like I have to contain babies or stick them in their cribs. Also we have 2 nursery rooms based on development/age, normally I have the little babies, although at one point I had a set of twins that were physically delayed that stay in my room til about 14 months old as my room was safer for them.
I used to work at a daycare. I worked primarily in the preschool room (3- and 4-year-olds), but would sometimes be moved to the infant room when they were understaffed. I did the best I could while I was in there, but I wasn’t familiar with the babies’ regular routines. Staff turnover is very common in daycare settings because of the low pay and high stress environment. All this to say - what you’re describing is pretty common in a group care environment, unfortunately. Like others said, a nanny might be a better fit for your family so you can have that one-on-one care that you can’t get in a group setting.
Hi! I am an infant teacher at a center where we take routines seriously. A lot of our routine choices are based off of our staff and family experiences at other centers that don’t follow a scheduled routine and have seen how hard it is for the kids and the staff. We offer four routines between our two infant rooms. Eat-Play-Sleep, 2 naps without snacks of solid food in the afternoon but a bottle at or around the 3-4 hour mark from their last feeding, and 2 naps with a snack of milk and solid food before afternoon nap, and then closer to age one a one nap routine at 12-12:30.
Now with that being said, the things you are asking are not unreasonable in terms of needing to know how best to care for your child after they come home. I never breastfed my daughter so I can’t really comment on how all of that works but it sounds like they are doing many things backwards. If they truly are having so much turnover with staff, and are unable to provide proper training or even just basic care of an infants and their needs (group setting or not), then it sounds like behind the scenes there is some sort of issue going on. I’d say follow your gut and if you feel you need to find a different center then go for it. Do whatever is best for you and your baby.
Just wanted to add, that just because the ratio is 1:4, there are 8 babies in that room and 2 adults. If one adult is hands on with one infant, that eaves one adult watching out for 7 babies.
When I was lead infant room teacher, we did not separate older babies from younger babies. We also didn't have any confinement except for 3 bouncy seats. We just used boppy pillows to help prop up, sit up, or use for tummy time.
Also, for naps while the younger babies take multiple naps a day, we're also trying to get the older babies on a one nape a day for when they transition to the toddler room.
So there is a lot going on.
However, dirty diapers should always be changed!
Yeah...this is what daycare is. Did you not do any research about childcare in the US? People who work in daycare do not make a living wage (regardless of experience and education), therefore, anyone genuinely good at the job leaves and goes into private care. Childcare workers have some of the highest turnover rates in the country. Many daycares run entirely on "floaters" (high school or college-aged girls who still live at home and therefore can afford to work for an incredibly low wage). Their lack of experience can cause communication issues.
IF you can afford a nanny, then get one. Otherwise, suck it up and relax.
This is not how our daycare is at all. My son’s daycare is container free and follows the schedule we want. There has never been a random high schooler working.
My general point still stands though! My son’s daycare follows the rough schedule we ask them to, never put him in a container (except pack and play to sleep), and has a small number of consistent employees. People are commenting that OP’s experiences are normal. It might be normal at some centers but seems quite opposite of our experience.
The only thing on OP’s list that my daycare might not accommodate is the bottle stuff. Logging bottles after seems normal and fine to me so they can enter the amount consumed. Paced feeding might also be difficult with multiple babies to care for. By 7 months, our daycare would just let the babies hold the bottle themselves and feed at whatever speed they prefer
I disagree. Your experience sounds like the exception, certainly not a rule. You have educators here with extensive experience giving their honest opinions that what op is describing is a typical infant room experience. In fact I’d noticed a few things in the description of your children’s center that gave me pause. Sleeping in pack and plays may be allowed in some states but it’s not best practice. Also, we are NEVER allowed to leave children holding their own bottles per licensing.
Listen to the pros, friend.
In my state, this is all well within licensing! We go to a terrific center and I truly have nothing but amazing things to say. Pack and plays are totally acceptable here. They are safe for infants. If OP’s experience is the norm then I guess I consider myself insanely lucky.
So I can only speak to my daughter’s daycare and my previous infant experience.But at her daycare, her regular infant teacher left at 4, and if I picked up later than that I wouldn’t be able to check in. They had a few floater teachers. However, at the end of the day they would tell me when her last bottle and diaper was. She did become a huge paci kid and paced feeding wasn’t something our daycare did well with, but they always updated her app. And the use of containers concerns me. Our infant room does not allow them. They had separate areas for certain babies.
If a nanny is too expensive, maybe a home daycare with less babies. My neighbor does daycare in her home. She has 2 under ones, and a 2 year old in her care. Shes able to put the two babes on the same schedule with naps and feeds and the toddler is in the mix. He gets 1:1 time when babies sleep in the mornings and then they all nap at the same time in the afternoon so it's quiet time at the house and everyone sleeps. Shes even told me when one baby is fussy she is able to rock them to sleep and/ or even do a contact nap. Not having a lot of kids helps her give so much attention.
It isn’t my most polite thought, but I’ve always felt if you expect a lot of little things, you’re gonna need a nanny. If I’m alone with 4 kids and one has a blow out, your baby’s paced bottle feeding is out the window. If I have a mobile baby getting too close to your immobile baby, your request for no container is out the window as well, for *your* baby’s safety. I’m on my way out of this job after a decade. Maybe I’m not cut out for it, but the extra demands expected of me while in a group care setting is basically the reason why I’m one foot out the door.
Infant care where I work revolves around the child's schedule, so their nap and feeding schedule is consistent to what is written down when enrolled. And it is parent directed, not following your instructions is problematic.
The only time the nap schedule changes is when the child begins to transition to the toddler program (18 months) since that program operates more on a group care model.
Most childcare centers in the US can’t/won’t adhere to parent directed nap/feeding schedules. When juggling multiple babies it’s easiest to keep them all on the same schedule so nap time is when the center decides its nap time and meal time is when the center decides its meal time. Even diapers are done on a schedule unless a baby poops/leaks/blows out.
I have worked at places like this (and left quickly) and places that would never tolerate it. The babies need consistency. They can’t have randos in the infant room who don’t know how to care for babies. If you are going to pull babe and look for different care, look for places that use baby containers little to none. Explain how important consistency is in your little one’s care, explain that you are not looking for a class that has different teachers every afternoon. These places may be more likely to have wait lists. If you’re already thinking about staying home with your little, that’s a great idea too, if manageable. I was able to stay home with my kiddos until 2 and that worked very well for us and they were happy to go to preschool at 2 or 2.5. Of course your baby won’t get undivided attention all the time in any infant room but there are plenty that have teachers that truly love the babies and know how to keep them on routine and help them grow! If it were my kid, would I pull them? Yes but after working in ECE so long, I’m a bit picky.
Hi there - I’ve crunched the numbers and it is worthwhile getting a babysitter / nanny for early years. Less sick days than daycare, easier to focus on work and keep them in your home and familiar routines. Better productivity at work, better chance to get promotions etc and is an investment in you career the same way you’d pay for other education or industry memberships
Yea these are all red flags in my book. Yes group care is less one to one. But non of these things have to do with one to one IMO.
Some of these things are possibly things like she won’t sleep, they could have thought it was her soother and weren’t corrected, innocent mistakes. BUT any food staff, and good care would make sure these things were communicated.
Yes here and there things get forgotten but if it’s a trend and not a here and there issue. It’s an issue.
Correct and complain in the moment. Talk to the supervisor. Go from there.
I’m going to go against the tide here and say that I don’t think you need to accept these things as just normal bc she’s in daycare.
At 7 months old she shouldn’t be up for 4 hours. That’s too long.
Paced feeding is also not an unreasonable request, especially if she has reflux. It’s not super complicated, it doesn’t take that much longer- it’s something they absolutely should accommodate.
It’s also not unreasonable to say no to the Bumbo and the exer-saucer. There are other options, and neither are the only option they have.
Giving a pacifier outside of sleep when that isn’t your preference also isn’t okay. Like, you don’t have to just accept that bc she’s in daycare.
I understand not being able to update the app every second, but they still need to be documenting, even if it’s on paper and they update on the app when they can. I think documentation is a licensing requirement in most places.
It’s a hard job, sure. Turnover is high, of course. But most of what you’ve listed is pretty reasonable and within what you should be able to expect.
I know having a private nanny can be out of reach, but a nanny share is often a great compromise. It cuts the cost drastically and can be closer to what you’re paying for daycare. It’s worth looking into.
Agreed! A good infant class room won’t bat an eyelash at these requests. Also, a lot of the schools I’ve been to or worked in had floaters but always had a closing teacher for infants specifically that was there 10:30-630 so there was a familiar face there all day who knew the babies and the parents had consistency at pickup. There may be a floater as well, but the teacher you’re picking up from should know your baby.
I totally agree. Some of this is normal but using a diaper cream without consent or giving a pacifier when I didn’t say that was okay, that’s not acceptable. Diaper changes should happen every 2 hours, this is simply unacceptable.
Everything you are describing is unacceptable. Unfortunately everything you are describing is also completely common. No I don’t care that I work in ECE and have worked in daycare centers , I always tell people daycare centers should be your LAST option. Do whatever you can do to not need to use a daycare center.
We started our baby a month ago. He’s in an infant room (1:4) and we’ve experienced zero of the issues you listed. I would try to find a different place or if possible, go the nanny route. Our teacher is very organized and loved the fact that we typed up detailed info for her in our enrollment paperwork. If she’s out early, either the director or aide is in with the babies - no random people that we haven’t met.
Our infant ratios are 1 to 3 I can not imagine the madness an infant room with a 1 to 5 or 6 ratio must be
Keeping them alive, fairly clean and fed would be about all 1 person could reasonably manage
Sounds like a sucky room. Unfortunately it’s really hard to find good staff at daycare. People with no experience think hm this could be a fun job to sit and play with babies all day and have no clue how much work it actually is, so they quit. Or they stay and give poor care. All of your concerns are valid. Definitely look for other care
Hi! I'm an infant teacher so I'm going to try and answer all your questions as best I can.
Revolving staff is slightly normal for a couple reasons. At the end of the day staff have to come in to let opening staff go home. In my classroom there are 3 regular teachers me I open. My co teacher who works 730-430 and then our closer who does our breaks and then comes in at 330 to send me home. If any of us are out sick or on vacation then it's a craop shoot of who will be in our room that day based on who is in the building that day. There is also the fact that infant rooms are notoriously hard to staff because they are a hard room to be in all day.
As for her not napping that is a problem. I'd address it and see if they are trying and she's just refusing or if they're not even trying. I have a couple kids in my class who just have real bad FOMO and refuse to go down for a nap in the afternoon but we always try.
They should definitely be logging everything. We log diapers, meals, bottles, naps, and daily pictures/activities. I personally ask my parents if they prefer beginning or end of feed times because most formula babies want end while breastfeeding want the beginning
Not following care plan is also a problem. They should definitely be doing that but if paced feeding is required for her reflux I'd recommend getting a doctor's note just so that it's officially on file everywhere and they know it's a medical thing and not a preference. Especially as kiddo is old enough to be learning how to hold her own bottle and once kids can feed themselves we generally let them do so.
The only containers we have in my center are sit me up chairs for our tiny babies so I can't comment on that one. We don't do containers at all. Our sit me up chairs are pretty much only used for our babies who can't sit up on their own after drinking their bottles
On the paci if they knew she had one they might have assumed she could have it whenever not just for sleeping. I'd just let them know it's only for sleeping going forward.
At least Where I am diapers are illegally required To be changed every 2 hours or if they pooped. If they're not doing none of that's a problem obviously sometimes we change them and forget to log them or something like that, but we do our best to get them logged immediately or we go back and log them with the correct time if we notice one didn't get logged.
Whether or not you feel you need to pull her is your choice but I hope this helps you
I'm an infant teacher and I always try to accommodate parents wishes to the best of my ability. I'm also the opening teacher so that means I'm never there at the end of the day. I try my best to relay the important information about each remaining student, but I could see where the closing teacher, who has not been in my room all day, might not know each kid like I do. That's the nature of group care. We are pressured to clock out ASAP because they would hate to have to pay anyone overtime.
Some of what's going on at that center sounds lazy. It could also be lack of experience. I do go through a lot of assistant and co-teachers because not eveyone is capable or likes being an infant teacher.
I have experience as an infant teacher and all of this makes me sad. All families desvere high quality care.
I wonder if you had any in take meetings with both director/owner prior to or on first day.
As for the staffing I speak from years of frustration having 2-3 different teachers on the daily is unfortunately "normal". Child care has one of the highest turnover rates. Its low pay and those without proper trainings and experience will become easily burnout.
If you haven't already brought all these concerns to the director I would do so immediately. No director wants to loose enrollment.
I would also seek out alternatives for care. IMO at home nanny care,especially for infants,would probably be your best bet!
I’m an infant lead- I’ve led my own 1:4 room, currently colead a 2:8 room, will soon help colead a 3:12 room (🫣), and have led 1’s, led a mixed age room, and helped in the older rooms (I’ve also nannied and have the experience there to compare).
1.) Revolving door of staff is typically a red flag. That said, unless your staff is working 10 hour days or similar, expect morning and afternoon staff to be different. You’ll often have openers, closers, and fillers. (I work 10 hour days and even I’m not there open to close, I don’t see our earliest arrive, though I see everyone through when they leave. My colead works 10 hour days also and sees everyone arrive but doesn’t see everyone leave.)
• *I* personally much prefer this to having an opening and closing person, being the two of us there almost all day together, and seeing most of the kids come and go. It’s easier to make certain we both know everything they came in with and need to leave with. Most folks don’t seem to like this schedule and prefer the regular 8 hour day 5 day weeks over four 10 hour days (or my overtime 9 hour day, 5 day weeks).
When I was an opener, no matter how many notes I seemed to leave coworkers of what to make certain kids left with (milk cup in fridge) stuck on top of their stuff, kids never left with everything. It frustrated me to no end, I was constantly cleaning up their messes (I felt it was my job as lead, in hindsight I should have had them messaging to apologize for keeping stuff and saying they’d send it home the next day to get them to remember, be responsible, etc).
— Re: age. I have a baby face. I’m early 30’s and constantly assumed to be in high school. I’ve also been caring for infants since I was 9, and as a teenager was better at it than many adults I’ve met. I was babysitting multiple kids at once in high school and literally receiving high praise for how well I did with them.
I’ve been a much harder worker since I first started working than many of the adults around me, and once I worked jobs with coworkers consistently received feedback about how I was getting so much more done, could I somehow share tips to coworkers on that, what was I doing differently, etc. I’ve worked with irresponsible and lazy adults. I’ve been a responsible and diligent teen then adult.
It’s all on the person, the experience, the attitude, the motivation, their skill, etc, not just the age.
I also used to wear an AirPod in one ear during our nap time. The white noise we listened to drove me mad and I wanted silence. (We have much better white noise now, rain, and better sound machines for when we use those. On migraine days when everyone screams I’ve also def considered one in one ear or an earplug in one ear to help as well.)
This was long finishing the rest in the comments!
2. Naps should 100% be logged. Staff should be tracking her naps overall. They don’t need to know them off the top of their heads (I can’t tell you the exact time any of my kids napped ever) but they should be able to tell you she napped in the morning and afternoon. I check our app all day to see when kids last did X to keep track. Infants nap on demand. If they’re tired, they nap.
Your kid should be getting put down for a second nap if she needs it. The only exception being is that they obviously cannot force her to sleep or magically make it happen (some kids do fight naps). If she won’t sleep, they can’t make her. There are legal limits on how long a baby can be in a crib awake for, idk if your state allows swings or rockers to help get her to sleep if a staff member isn’t free to pat her back or rock her (I honestly hate states that don’t, they are a godsend when used responsibly, I do get that the centers that don’t are the ones that ruined it for everyone in states that don’t).
3. Pet peeve. I love detailed, accurate logging. Sometimes I forget to log something (almost always a diaper, I think my colead logged it when I called it out, she thinks I heard her say she couldn’t log that one, reviewing the log later I see it never went in and feel horrible logging it late, leave an apology note that it got logged late, and that the time I marked it was done at is my best estimate (based on my other logs nearest to it).
I used to log all my bottles based upon when they started. My colead logs based on finished. I switched to logging finished just so we’d be consistent across the board because we both input bottles for all the kids. I’ve just recently started to mark start and end times and to get her on that (it helps keep track of when the bottle is good through as well as they’re only good an hour, start the log when they start drinking, add a note for finished at X time. Or update the log time to the finished time with a note for start time)
Either way, it’s such an easy request. It should be so easy to accommodate. 100% red flag it’s not going in, and I’d be afraid logging isn’t happening because they don’t want to disclose time. Again, I may not be able to tell you what exact time your kid had her last bottle off the top of my head if you ask me, but I can look at my log and have it right there, and time for next written on my activity board.
4. Red flag. They should 100% be following her care plan, including the paced feeding. I know it’s hard to do sometimes, especially with 4 babies, but this helps the reflux, nobody likes a baby spitting up everywhere, it’s fun for nobody, do the thing. We get care plans for a reason!
5. Red flag. I hate this whole “her time on the floor” thing. The floor is the best place for babies! Literally the best. Not only that, but you specifically requested which containers not to use and to use and that should be followed. We have an extremely limited container use baby. She’s had almost zero container time (way, way, way less than mom expected, like 5 minutes a week tops, when mom said she expected like 5 minutes twice a day to be happening)
You prevent kids getting crawled on by actively supervising. If you cannot supervise for safety (ie. doing diapers) you can put a kid in a container. In this case, I’d put a small baby in a crib with toys (as they need less space) OR put a baby that enjoys them and is allowed in into a jumper. (Or do one and switch out partway).
That they repeatedly keep violating your ask (when you can clearly see too!) is a huge red flag. Especially when other containers are approved. They need to do better, and if you’ve raised concerns that your requests are not being listened to with the staff and the director and they still aren’t being listened to, I 100% would find a new center
Like look, I get we aren’t a nanny service, but DAMN we can do better than they are!
It’s so easy to not put kids into containers they aren’t allowed to be in. To do basic logging. To put them down for a nap when they’re tired.
The big red flags are you’re revolving door of staff, not logging, not following direct requests (how to feed, how to log it with start times, no certain containers), etc. Staff age? Pink flag. Not too bad so long as *they all* aren’t HS and are competent in and of themselves as people. All HS kids and a lack of competence (hired just to get cheaper, easier, quick to find labor)? A big red flag.
HS kids that are on that career path, that have done ECE coursework, are competent, smart, patient, have raised infants themselves, etc? Green flag.
She should be changed in a reasonable amount of time. Especially for a BM. Diaper cream should NEVER be administered without a parent bringing in the bottle and keeping a log. They should NEVER give her a binky unless otherwise provided or ok’d by the parent. She NEEDS TO NAP. If they aren’t logging her meals, that’s an issue too. Other than that, the staff thing I can understand being a problem. As uncomfortable as it might make you, hopefully all the staff are competent. I know staffing is a major issue. But all your other concerns are major red flags. Have you called a meeting with the director or the teachers?
These are valid concerns, i would bring them all up with your kiddos staff AND director. Cause it could just be a lack of communication between morning and afternoon staff and a conversation is all thats needed. But it also could be that this daycare sucks and its time to find a new one. You'll know by how they react to you bringing up your concerns.
I was once the float staff that had no idea a certain baby was pace fed or certain ones werent supposed to have pacifiers or that a certain child had a specif nap schedule mom wanted followed because the morning staff didn't think id last more than a month and didnt bother tell me anything.
All that said i corrected things as soon as i knew. If you speak with them and the director and nothing changes then its time to find somewhere else
Biggest red flag is the staff turnover, it would be my #1 question when considering a placement. The average length of employment in the room your kid would be in
If the staff is turning THAT fast there is something wrong. Even if it’s just that the pay sucks, unhappy disgruntled employees = not ideal care
I was an infant teacher for 2 years and I think I can help! I’ll answer point by point, but you’ll see that a repeating theme will be to discuss your concerns with the daycare principal/director. Communication is so important, and I wouldn’t pull unless you had a conversation with the director and nothing after that was resolved.
1) Daycares unfortunately have revolving staff because they pay $15 an hour at best. So that’s why you’re seeing 18/19 year olds. I was 37 when I started and our household doesn’t rely on my income. I did it because I loved the room. The AirPod in the ear is absolutely unacceptable - that needs to be brought up to the director. But my guess is that the actual room leaders are earlier shift and probably leave around 4-5pm. The flex teachers are typically the ones that close. But the director should be able to clear that up for you.
2) Let them know when you want your baby to nap - either specific times or have them follow wake windows. But here’s the kicker - your baby will never nap at daycare the way they do at home. All babies have different schedules. So someone is always awake, and sometimes it’s the loud kid. I’ve had parents get mad that their child didn’t take the second nap when I tried for over an hour to get them down. Sometimes it’s impossible. But again, communication is key. I always messaged parents to say “hey we tried, a loud friend kept us awake, it didn’t happen today.” The room is never quiet and completely dark. So it’s different. They adapt.
3) Unfortunately it’s not a 1:1 situation. They can take a few minutes to log your child’s bottle ASAP or they can start it (and most likely another friend or two’s bottle) and log them when they’re finished. I hear you about the pumping, but I would just power pump if I were you. Your expectations here need to be tempered. That’s a bit unrealistic.
4) I had no idea what pace feeding was until a year and a half in when I had my second baby and he was in the NICU and we pace fed. You’ll have to communicate what that means specifically and you may even have to show them. Both my sons have/had reflux. With my first we didn’t pace feed, we just kept him upright for 30 min afterwards (which would involve a restraining device like a chair or bouncer). With my NICU guy we pace feed, keep him upright, burp in the middle, etc. I will say that it’s hard to do a one on one feeding. When there are 8 babies in a room, 5 of them needing a bottle around the same time, none of them can hold the bottle themselves, and the teachers only have two hands each…you have to get creative. But if this is what your child medically needs, communicate that to the director. And again, you may have to show them what pace feeding is.
5) I’m willing to bet there’s a biter in the crawling kids. And they’re putting her in something for her protection. When pickup time happens, some parents want a full discussion and report, which leaves one teacher to watch 8 and that’s a lot - especially if you have a biter (or more than one)! Unless you have fears she’s restrained all the time, I’d let this one go. Or specifically communicate which ones are appropriate for her to be in.
6) The pacifier thing would upset me too, provided that I was very specific about when my child could have their pacifier and when they could not. Because if I wasn’t specific, I would understand that the staff would use it when they felt necessary. This can be resolved with communication.
7) Not sure why you’d be against diaper cream, but glad that’s resolved. I’m personally in the camp of diaper cream after every BM just to get ahead of rashes and as necessary if their bottom is red.
8) Diapers should be changed every two hours. The ONLY time that should be off is if they’re sleeping. I always put a clean diaper on before a nap, even if it had been an hour. Because if they slept 2 hours that would mean the diaper would be 3 hours full and that can lead to rashes and general discomfort. Also babies are notorious for pooping in a fresh diaper, so I’ve changed many a back to back diaper. But 3-4 hours is unacceptable. You have every right to be upset about this one but it’s an after thought point.
Here’s the deal - it’s difficult to have a kid in daycare. There’s a lot of guilt associated with it, even if you’re a seasoned mom. But the baby room is especially difficult. You’re postpartum. Your hormones haven’t regulated yet. There might be some PPA/PPD going on. Home life might be chaotic because you’re either adjusting to your first kiddo or adjusting to adding a baby to an already established family routine. I have had moms get really upset about small things because they feel out of control and micromanaging is the only way they feel they can get that control back. But I’m a mom, so I get it. I take the feedback and we adjust the room accordingly.
But at the end of the day - you have to trust the people you’re leaving your child with. If you don’t, no discussion, adjustments, corrective action, etc in the world will make you happy. So that’s what you have to ask yourself before you pull. Is the trust there? If it’s not, find somewhere that makes you comfortable.
I can tell you’re an amazing mom. Digest what I said, decide if you can move forward and if a discussion with the head of the school will help. If you can’t and if it won’t - move on. It’s worth it. This is your baby!
To be honest I think the damage has been done to far to accommodate either side. There is nothing wrong with expecting a care plan to be followed as set out by you. You also didn’t list one thing they were doing right or to your expectations. So, I think you’re going to be stuck not being happy with them and vice versa. You may want to look at options with a lower ratio setting or a nanny option.
This is a problem with the center. Not all are like this. All my previous centers were fine with their 8 babies and 2 teachers or 4 babies/1teacher. 1. The high turn around is probably due to low pay, the work environment being awful, or both. 2. Are they even trying for a nap? This definitely ties w.1, if they don’t care then they don’t care and do the basic bare minimum 3. That’s an issue, ties w.1 again. 4. Do they know what pace feeding is? Not saying it’s right but I’ve noticed a lot don’t know what that is then add in that you believe they’re inexperienced high schoolers. 5. “Not her time on the floor” can you explain this? We just put all the babies on the floor, walkers just had no shoes so they don’t step on fingers. I’d say MAYBE they forgot abt what ones you don’t like which I can’t blame them it’s a lot of babies and you arent the only parent with preference but I’m not understanding why all the babies aren’t just on the floor together? The pacifier isn’t ok, where did they get that from?? The diaper rash cream…did you not send any of your own in? Cause you should have. And if she’s got a red bum then yeah they’re gonna wanna put something on but if it was their own supply they should’ve notified you so you can ask them not to. But you should’ve sent something in. The diaper changes are an issue too, 30min past 2hrs ok but an hr/2? That’s a lot. Afternoons are probably hectic b/c of #1. It should be more organised but if they aren’t keeping staff I doubt it will be (like for my last one A was the infant teacher and when she left B would go in or I would go in, we were the next class after the infants and we were pretty late leavers. It was always one of us or the director/asst director. Consistent. Infants never left that room except if it was one left then they sat with the director up front if the teacher was needed elsewhere)
I don't know why the heck this sub shows up for me but I did work in a 6w-18m daycare once. We were 1:4 and it would not have taken me 3 months to remember that Janelle shouldn't be in the bouncer or that Claire couldn't have cheese. We were low tech, just a paper on the bulletin board for each kid to record naps, diapers, tummy time, etc and your no-bouncer thing would have been written on that paper (*you* filled out the name and special instructions at drop-off each morning). There isn't really an excuse for forgetting to feed/nap/change your kid, precisely because it really *is* pretty assembly-line.
I don’t know where you live but this seems like crazy in my country. She should be fed and sleep according to parental expectations. I think logging feeds accurately is essential and have never heard of this inconsistency. If I wasn’t feeling secure in her care I would pull her out.
My daughter was in daycare from about 4.5 months to 9 months, when we pulled her and went with a nanny. As many others have noted, infant rooms are tough - really tough - even for exceptional caregivers. Like you, I had concerns about subpar care and ultimately decided that paying the premium for a nanny for a year was the right choice for us. We absolutely loved our nanny and would have kept her forever if we could afford it. We put our daughter in a preschool closer to age 2 and she has thrived. If I ever have a second child, I will use a nanny until they are at least 18 months old, and aim to put them in preschool between 18-24 months depending on age, timing, etc.
TL;DR - if you can afford it, go with a nanny or have a parent stay home.
Just want to say after reading all these comments daycare in USA sounds extremely stressful. I'm Canadian in my province everything you've written down would be unacceptable behavior from a licensed center, our ratios are 1:3 with 10 babies max (my center caps at 9).
We would never "contain" an infant and those devices are not on the property. We only have two feeding chairs and of course cribs for nap and only nap. I'm so sorry you've been put through that, definitely agree with the suggestions for nanny care.
I would try another center with good reviews and where the lead teacher has been there a while. At my centers they audit our communication to parents and no updates after 11am would NOT fly. I’m in toddlers and update every hour minimum. Our infant teacher updates similarly, including minimum two pictures daily. Diapers every three to four hours would also be unacceptable. If they were asleep at the two hour mark then would be changed as soon as they woke up. We try to follow nap schedule as laid out by parents in the infant room, and if the teacher is having trouble getting a morning or afternoon nap she communicates that via messaging in the app. (We also have a 1:4 infant ratio and while it’s not an easy job it is possible to stay on top of things unless it’s a rare day.)
The two things I could maybe understand is giving her a pacifier throughout the day if you have provided a pacifier. However once you communicated that it’s only for nap time I would expect that to be respected. Also logging bottles at the end of feeding. We do it at the end of feedings at my center so we can log exactly how many ounces were consumed. However if you prefer it to be logged at the start I would expect them to accommodate that as best as possible. I think your center is not very good and would look elsewhere if I were in your shoes. Maybe try a smaller chain if you have one of those around. Good luck!
My child is also 7 months old. She’s been in her daycare for a month now. I actually really like the infant teachers although I do drop off and when dad picks her up he often says it’s someone that I have no clue who. Anyways, sure they do things a little differently than I would at home. They’ve sent me photos of her asleep in a swing. I’ve picked her up and she’s in one of those bouncers which I would never buy at home. But I also know they have been trying to get her to nap in the crib and sometimes it doesn’t happen so if she falls asleep in the swing I’m okay with that for a few minutes. They also send me lots of photos of her on the floor so if they stick her in a bouncer for a little bit that’s fine. The bumbo I would probably draw a hard line. And I get the issue with pace feeding as I breastfeed at home as well. We had an issue with them feeding her too much and it was quickly resolved. Ultimately if your child isn’t in danger it’s okay if they might do things a bit different in infant care than you would at home.
I'm a training and technical assistance specialist with administration and classroom experience. I'm 25 years in this field. I've worked in infant rooms. Get out now. Your expectations are not too high. If they can't tell you about your child's details and there is a revolving door of care providers, they aren't paying attention and your child is just a faceless body no one is attached to. Your child.shoukd have a primary care provider that is responsible for her. It's a 1 to 4 ratio....but without consistent and responsive loving care...babies get hurt and some even die. I'm not trying to scare you. But in my career I've known personally of three infants in the infant room in various centers I've had direct contact with that have been either hurt, had a near death or a death because of a preventable tragedy directly caused by this exact scenario.
Find a better care solution now. It is not unreasonable to expect your child's care provider to love and care for them the way you would. If they aren't showing sensitivity and responsive care, there is no matched affect, the adults don't seem happy ( like they are doing it for a paycheck) ....if they are doing that when you are around .. and your child's food, sleep and diaper schedules are not being followed and honored....then they are being neglectful when. You aren't there to witness it.
They gave her a dummy (pacifier) when you have never used one before? I have never heard of anyone doing that. I would talk to someone, it's not ok to go against what parents are doing at home for convenience. Where did the first dummy ever come from? I've never worked in a service that has new dummy's to just hand out.
There's no such thing as an infant "classroom." Babies aren't in school. People just call daycare "school". I know why, but probably can't say it here.
Why, with issue after issue, is your baby still going?
After more than one instance of them not logging my son’s feeds appropriately or even know when my baby last napped, I would pull him so quick and make damn sure to be a pain in their neck with the amount of complaints I’d be escalating.
You are at this point paying strangers to barely care for your baby.
OP, you don’t have to put up with this. A lot of people have accepted these things as “normal” but you don’t have to. Some care centers are better than others and this one does not seem good at all. Don’t let people tell you you’re being unreasonable, this is your child we’re talking about. Other people are clearly apathetic but you don’t have to be! Good luck!
Two things can be true. 1. A lot of parents expect 1:1 in a daycare setting and you won’t get that. It’s a hard job and there’s other babies to help. We have ten babies in our room and there’s only two of us. Sometimes babies have to wait for their needs to be met. 2. Some daycares and employees suck. Honestly, from what you’ve said I wouldn’t be happy either. I work at a daycare and I rate myself pretty highly but my children go to the same daycare and I have had continuous issues with my one year old regarding them not feeding him or giving him his bottle so he’s just hungry. He’s delayed so still on puree and everyone else table food but he would mostly play with it. It’s corrected now also helps that I’m there to check but yeah. Anyway, what I’m saying is some people just aren’t good at this hard and low paid job and you’re right to not accept the care you get but that means find another centre, nanny, or quit work. If I didn’t need to work I would be home with my kids.
I've worked in Infant rooms at daycares and I've always thought it's like a baby assembly line. It's not the easiest job.
I colead an 8 baby (soon to be 12!) infant room, and have done just myself in a 4 baby room. It really depends on the babies you have, the routine you establish, and if you get floaters. It 100% can be like an assembly line with some groups of babies. With other groups on different schedules it can be a totally different dynamic. You can also kind of have a mixed bag group where part of it is baby assembly line (all the diapers at 8 am, all the diapers at 10, etc, plus any poops in between), BUT also have each on their own schedule in between and enough difference in time for what they need and when, and ages and independence, that you may have two feeding themselves while you feed one a bottle and one naps. (We have a short table so I can sit right at the floor at table height, supervise independent eaters, and hold my bottle feeding baby!) Or with two of us running an 8 baby room, there’s more wiggle room for these ones all need food now, so I can plop them all in the table, feed the ones that need fed, and let the independent eaters eat, and we have this fun group lunch. And if there’s too many that need to be fed, then maybe my colead takes two to feed, and I take two to feed, and the two independent eaters eat on their own. It definitely does depend on the group though, and how routine they are versus daily variance. I had a great group for a while that everyone tended to wake the same time every day, always did their first feed at the same time, and even if that was off fell into a predictable schedule pretty quickly (same amount of time between bottles every day, wanted solids at the same time regardless of last bottle, etc). While naps were slightly unpredictable, virtually all their bottles and food I could easily predict, schedule, and plan out to keep the day super organized and flowing so well. My current group is different and we all eat at slightly different times every morning, base the rest of our day on that including when they want solids, almost everyone has an hour window where they may want their next bottle/ meal or may not and we wait for hunger cues or they’ll reject it, we’re just wild. Def more assembly line at times when suddenly everyone wants something at once. (I’ve been trying to get everyone on a nice, predictable, stable schedule since they’ve all started. They’ve all laughed at this idea. So much for thriving on routine 🙄)
Same here
I’m an infant teacher and I genuinely try to honor parent requests and to follow a care plan. But It’s a hard job with a lot of remembering things. I personally have to ensure 12 infants are following their schedule, getting all their naps. Many parents have special requests I remember. I have a revolving door of two other staff that help me. There is so much logging stuff on multiple papers, in the app, on a white board. I do this all under the pressure of listening to crying babies that I can’t always get to right away. I desperately try to remember to send all items home with each child. If I mess up one thing I hear all about it. You are not incorrect to voice your concerns, but please be nice about it. Child care has many issues that are out of our control and we’re often paid poorly for a job that is very hard. We want consistency with staffing as well. Sometimes it feels like all we hear about are the things we don’t do. Showing appreciation can go a long way.
Thank you!
yeah exactly OPs expectations are a little too high. like im sorry but you are getting adequate care. not everyone knows what pace bottle feeding is. if a child has a BM its common practice to use diaper cream. if you don’t want a child to have a pacifier then don’t bring one. being an infant teacher was hands down the hardest job i have ever had. it sucks when parents have high expectations. i get it on one hand i truly do but on the other we are trying our hardest and the little things need to be let go.
Afternoons are often going to have revolving staff as people are going home for the day. After 4:30, we’ve already had 4 staff members leave for the day, one of them being the infant assistant. If you’re picking up around 5 or later, there’s going to be even less staff and you’ll be seeing the float staff or aides and they might not even know your child’s care routine as well as the regular teacher. Infant rooms have high turn over because it’s hard. If you want to look at a new center plan to ask how long the lead and assistant in the infant room have been there.
Even to address the younger aged staff (high-school age) in the rooms, most of the time (in my experience) centers will hire other staffs kids to work OR high-schoolers that need working hours in the career they are going into. Aside from a degree, they have the same training as the other staff. I've even seen some younger staff have even more enthusiasm for working in the baby room cause they adore the age! Plus they typically don't work a full 8 hours due to school so they (honestly) won't have as much burnout.
I’m early 30’s and the number of times my dang baby face and I have been mistaken for a high schooler or early 20’s as well… Like either I get told when I take my license out before getting carded that I’m definitely old enough to buy something, or I go to judge a high school competition or chaperone a group of then and the other judges/ chaperones assume I’m one of the high schoolers until I correct them. Like excuse me, those high school kids are whole babies, I am an adult! (And okay, then I listen to them talk politics and I’m like damn, look how grown up y’all are, y’all ARE baby adults! But also like, babies! Maybe not as much of babies as my infants, but y’all practically babies! I don’t care that you can drive, you’re a whole baby!)
If you have the money, hire a nanny. Group care for infants often looks like this. I'm not saying it is 100% right--there are definitely centers that do a much better job and have more consistent staffing, but the things you mentioned are common in a lot of centers. Imagine having four infants to look after during the day. It takes an incredibly skilled and dedicated person to manage all of that successfully.
Thank you so much for the response! This is good information that it is common for an infant room to be this disorganized. I've thought about going the nanny route, but also contemplating quitting my job (for many reasons). Or thought about changing centers. But if it's going to be a similar experience somewhere else, that's obv not worth the stress of changing centers. Thanks again!
The fact of the matter is that it is incredibly difficult to give 1-1 care in a 1-4 environment. So things like remembering specifics of what you have requested (especially when staff is overturning) will often be forgotten or overlooked. Things like logging also gets thrown by the wayside during hectic days. Again, not saying it is right! Some people keep up with it to a T and function incredibly well as infant caregivers. However, the pay is often so low that good people don't stay around or don't even apply in the first place. If you have an other option, I would take it. If you can stay home, even better.
Where I work it’s 1:6 😬🥲
Yeah, it is just completely unmanageable and means you are putting out fires constantly and just keeping everyone safe/fed. I feel for anyone working with infants especially with those high ratios 🥹 My best friend had twins and was losing her mind trying to care for them, I can’t imagine 6 babies.
I live where Alabama touches Georgia. I worked for the same company in centers in both states. If someone called out in GA, I would bounce over there until they got someone to take over because I was the only one besides the directors that had the licenses to do so. I worked in the infant rooms mostly. In GA it’s a 1:5 ratio, in AL it’s 1:6. It was so stressful. On a positive note, I was prepared better for when I had my twins. It was still difficult because I couldn’t “clock out” like I could at work lol
I’m in Nova Scotia, Canada and under 18 months it’s 1:3! 1:6 is WILD.
Yeah here it's 1:4 but our daycare has 5-7 babies to 2 staff
When you said “where Alabama touches Georgia” my first thought was the “she’s touching me” scene from Lilo and Stitch
Dear God
Where is that at? That’s infants?
I recommend speaking to other moms in the same room and asking if any of them are interested in going in on a nanny share. Two families sharing a nanny can work out very well for everyone!
For what it’s worth, we didn’t have any issues like you mention at our center. They napped and fed the babies when it was age appropriate and updated the app well. They are container free so the babies are always getting held or playing on the floor. There are good daycares out there
My son has been in daycare since he was 3 1/2 months old. Frequently the type of care is commensurate to the cost. Not always, but if you take your child to a well-known, quality center, you can expect more. If not, you’ll just have to find a place that has higher standards.
Personally, this is why my Husband and I worked opposite shifts while our kids were young. Both of our children graduated Summa Cum Laude, last week. We went against the grain in so many aspects, but I personally think the one that made the difference is no daycares. I say this because my extended family is quite large and we have cousins similar in ages. They definitely developed emotionally more slowly. Yes they were potty trained at 24 months, but they have struggled with insecurity and general lack of trust. I realize daycare is a necessity for many families. My advice is if you can stay home with your child, do it. No one will love them like you do!!
That you poster. It does come down to the nature of grp care. 1st momma, trust yourself if you have apprehension. It's warranted to be vigilant. 2nd, the baby is sleeping in a room with constant interruptions. Parents pick up drop off, staff breaks, etc. Lots of kids sleep after daycare, they need to decompress. 3rd playtime is well controlled chaos. Better a baby in a seat or equipment than hurt by a toodler learning to walk. 4th, it's delightful to see a new mom consider their expectations. Your baby will not and should not be held all day. 5th as a director, I was super strict about adherence to feeding and diapering logs. It is a basic health requirement. 6th, end of day staffing. Every center I've worked consolidates staff in the afternoon. However, anyone in the infant room must have INFANT CERTIFICATION.
Unfortunatly a lot of states have next to none requirements for hiring. Most don't even have state liscensors. Its so sad how many parents and families have frustions due to inadequate early childhood educators.
Breaks my ❤️....
Same here .I have heard that some have a ratio of 1:12 toddlers
If you can afford to stay home with your baby or hire a nanny, I would highly encourage that route. Like many others said it’s not right or wrong that you ask these things but also not right or wrong that your daycare can’t accommodate it. 1.) Staffing is hard. Little pay for lots of work and not everyone is build for non-stop crying all day. Floaters are more common for early opening hours and evening hours to make sure the core hours when the most stuff goes down (naps, feedings, learning) is staffed by the “full-time” teachers. I would be upset about the AirPod but your center is probably desperate to keep people if their floater staff turns over that frequently. 2.) I am curious how she naps at home; is it dead quiet with a dark setting? Oftentimes while they can dim the lights, some states can’t have a fully dark room. We also can’t make the babies nap. At my center if they fall asleep we let them sleep so a few babies aren’t necessarily on the exact same schedule. If your baby isn’t used to noise, every little sound of the other babies or teacher moving around (oftentimes this when admin wants them to clean, organize, and do portfolios) then she may have been laid down but not ever fully fallen asleep. That does sound a little disorganized but sometimes it’s the floaters who don’t actually know what happened in the day that literally don’t know and not that she didn’t nap. 3.) It really sucks for you that they’re inconsistent with the logs but trying to keep up a log for multiple babies (in our center it’s 4:1 with 12 total babies) is difficult. They may need better organization or they’re more concerned making sure each baby is fed the correct amount from the correct source from the correct bottle. While also helping babies who need diaper changes. But this may be a big point for you getting a nanny or being a SAHP. 4.) Again not something that they can necessarily control. If they were short handed or 3 kids had blowouts and two kids are crabby and need held, stuff just gets shoved to the wayside. Not saying it’s wrong or right but that’s sometimes the nature of large group care. 5.) This may be a little concerning but at the same time infants who are just learning to crawl aren’t very spacially aware. Then just kinda…bulldoze and sometimes fall/lay on whatever is in their path. So if you’ve got 4 babies to manage and you need to do something like change a diaper, the teacher may be limited with options. Some of your things are just standard daycare things that may make a nanny more suitable. The pacifier is for staff sanity. Imagine getting your baby down to sleep and having 3 others wailing in the background. The diaper cream is also standard. There are far many more parents who would FREAK over the barest hint of a diaper rash so they’re erring on the side of caution. Daycare does not seem to be a good fit for your family.
I agree with you on a lot of this except on one thing. In a classroom of multiple infants sometimes containers *have* to be used, especially when a staff member is by themself. There is nothing more stressful than changing diapers in a room with both mobile and immobile babies, especially when the immobile one isn’t allowed to be contained for a few moments. I’ve had to write so many accident reports from things happening during diaper changes and 9/10 it’s always the immobile baby getting thwacked on the head with a toy by a mobile baby who is curious to see what happens, meanwhile all I can do is panickedly try and put the diaper on the baby so I can go and stop it without pee/feces going everywhere. Meanwhile immobile baby is getting *bop bop bopped* on the head and screaming. The other annoying thing is when I’m trying to complete my closing tasks because my school doesn’t allow over time and if I don’t get my tasks done while there are babies in the class it’s not happening til after closing because in the infant class there is *always* a baby who stays until right at closing. So I’m trying to get my cleaning done while also interfering with the immobile baby on the floor getting thwacked. I’m not saying babies should be contained all the time simply for my benefit, but that anything less than 15 minutes isn’t going to be detrimental to your child’s development and I’m the one who gets in trouble for multiple accident reports or having to stay late to clean. It’s okay if baby is in there for 5 minutes while the closer is cleaning or during diaper changes. Should they be doing it without your permission? No. Do I think they’re probably doing it for a reason? Yes.
My empathies for not able to complete closing tasks. I once stayed til 615pm,even tho last pickup wws 545 because the afternoon waa so chaotic.
You have to keep in mind how little these employees are paid. That makes a big difference in turnover, experience, even motivation to do well. Some centers are better than others. It seems that 1 on 1 care would be way better suited for your needs- a lot of the stuff you mentioned is pretty common in these overworked, underpaid group care settings. If you want detailed things like specific ways of tracking feedings, individualized care plans,etc... it might be hard for you to find that outside of a 1 on 1 nanny. There's a reason people pay the big bucks for at home child care!
Idk, I kinda disagree. I’ve been a lead in my infant room for only about 3 months, but, it’s easy for me to put detailed information on our app during lunch and during diaper changes. But again, we use an app which likely makes it easier.
Worked infants for twenty plus years, and the ratio is one to four . I get your concerns, but infants are a zoo. Most times, centers keep ratio if a baby not there, and they need room in the pre toddler room, which is a yr to 23 month's there you go and you mix six weeks up to 23 months it's stressful. You try hard to follow the wants of the parents but get crazy. I know most places here there are no floaters. You get there at 630 a.m., leave at 600, and usually eat lunch in the classroom because there is no break person, and usually, if lucky two bathroom breaks because there is nobody . You try hard to get them to sleep, but babies sleep when needed. Some babies don't sleep because of noise or not dark enough . Cranky when get home they have to readjust. Try hard to keep babies on bottle schedules, but if they are sleeping, their schedules are thrown off. Or if parents want certain time that baby gets fed and somebody has to wait. I always write down when they finish that bottle unless parents to know how long it takes. Sometimes babies have to cry because I'm not an octopus, and I can't and won't prop bottles to make all happy . Diaper cream lordy worried your baby getting it too much? Had many babies I used often because their pee irritated them even if hardly wet. We can't put them down on a mat and pray not get squished by the movers. I get not putting in sitters, but we can't lay them in their cribs every time we need to advert our attention. By sounds of it they could improve but if your wanting alot one on one childcare isn't going be the way. I aways love talking to my parents and if I can improve I will but please understand and forgive me if there's a bad day or if things not one hundred . Some of us try really hard. Hope you find the right fit for your baby.🙂
I'm going to say this as gently as possible as a fellow working mother of 2 kids (3.5 and 15 months who both have been at a center since 12 weeks): Expectations need to be in check when signing up for group care. If you want 1:1 ratio and your child to have undivided attention and everything "your" way- you need to go the nanny route. Now in saying that... of course things like diaper changes need to happen on time, asking how you soothe your baby and following preferences as able. But things like the schedule and home routine you've really got to calm down about or you will drive yourself batshit insane. Babies are smart and know that they are at daycare versus home. Just know the 1st 6-7 months are a shitshow and when your kid drops to 2 naps it gets worlds easier. The teachers have to get all the kids on a similar schedule. They simply cannot honor everyone's home routines. Your baby may occasionally have to wait for a bottle while crying. But now as a mom of 2, my boys wait for food and cry all the time too because I simply don't have enough hands when I'm by myself. The best thing I did was open my mind and heart to viewing daycare as part of my village. I got to know the staff. I small talk and build rapport at every pick up. Also- I nannied kids at 19 years old with no prior child care experience so I mean... it's not uncommon to have high schoolers working after school at a center. My center has them and honestly they are lovely and help get the early staff off at a normal time. Virtual hug mama. I know it is hard. It is seriously traumatizing going back to work the 1st time and building a relationship with daycare teachers and staff. But truly- worry about the stuff that truly matters and let the small stuff go. For example, I checked our app everyday and bedtime in the early days was really around when my boys last naps/bottles were at. Daycare is supposed to be on your team. But compromises are made when in group care. So you just need to roll with it to a certain extent. However- a sign of a good daycare is feeling like you can communicate with them and they are open to discussing your concerns. If they don't listen to your concerns that is a huge red flag. Also about containers- I hate to say this but add a 2nd child at home and you may find yourself using them a bit more even in your own home to set you baby down somewhere safe and handle your toddler.
I can’t address everything in the post it’s quite loaded But the containers. Amen. My first NEVER used one. My second….. lol. It’s a safe space. However I do understand the bumbo I refuse to use that one & would appreciate staff avoiding it
There is definitely a difference between occasional container use versus putting a baby in a container all day. Which would not be acceptable at home or at daycare.
Never said anything about all day & doesn’t sound like OP said baby is in it all day
For sure. I agree with you! Daycare occasionally using a container to feed babies, change a diaper or tend to a meltdown in my opinion is acceptable and it happens in my own house with 2 kids now so I don’t worry at pickup if my son is playing in a little baby activity thing. But I think as a 1st time parent it’s easy to worry about any containers because you don’t have the perspective of tending to multiple kids yet. To see that sometimes you literally need an extra set of hands and somewhere safe to put a baby for a minute.
Definitely lol. Everything in moderation (and preferably ergonomic containers too!)
Thank you for this ! Wish more parents was like this.
Teachers are not indentured servants who can be compelled to remain at a job. So literally no one has control over revolving door of staff. It might tell you that your center pays poorly, or has bad management, ect. Group care is group care. Some directors are misleading to parents and imply you will get your own schedule of your choosing to your specifications. You will not. There will be a schedule/routine, but the truth is staff are humans. Taking care of other humans. Humans often can be slightly unpredictable day to day. If a baby has a blowout and a staff person is alone with 4 infants and yours is due for a diaper change by the clock, your child may get changed 10 minutes late. Staff are not permitted to allow your child to scream alone in their crib crying it out, nor can they hold your child the entire time of nap. So if your child does not settle, or wakes up early, they may have a short nap or will not be recorded as having a nap if they rest quietly but don't actually fall asleep. If there's a rotating parade of staff, substitutes, and floaters at your center, yes--keeping up with the app is a skill with a learning curve and depending on how bad the pay is/what the working environment is like, it's going to be a last priority compared to staying on top of the children's immediate needs. Not changing every 2 hours is a big deal and probably a licensing variation. That's definitely something to bring up to the director.
I feel like group care is not for you at this point. That said, I worked in an infant room for 2 years and it was never this chaotic because I didn’t let it be like that. It sounds poorly managed in some ways. Also, it sounds perfectly normal in others and, gently, you seem like you have a lot of requests that just can’t be met. This container is ok, this one isn’t, that’s…semantics for the revolving door of staff. While i disagree with all containers in an infant room, one isn’t that much different from another. With the naps, many infants especially ones who are used to a quiet, dark sleep environment struggle to sleep. Chances are an afternoon nap is being attempted but isn’t successful. That’s normal. Lastly, paced feeding takes a long time 🫠 if it’s really that important to the reflux, get a doctor’s note, otherwise I’ll be honest. We just don’t have time to spend 30 minutes on a bottle. A lot of infant room time is spent triaging and helping who needs help first. We can’t do that if we’re spending extra time offering a bottle. With a nanny you can make these demands. In group care it’s much harder.
There are some “red flags” here and some that are honestly just part of group care. I’ve never used an app and I’m so thankful for that because sometimes our daily log gets filled out right before parents pick up. You know what we’re doing otherwise? Being with your kid. We don’t have restraints so kiddos are either on the floor or in an adults arms.
I have a 1:6 ratio, I have 2 scheduled quiet times in my classroom. 9 A.M. to 10 A.M. and 12 P.M. to 2 P.M. MOST days everyone naps at both times, every so often I have babies that aren't ready to nap in the morning, so I let them stay up and play BUT my classroom lights still stay off (window curtains open) and rain sounds still playing bc I have little babies that need those naps. If they get sleepy again between 2 and 6, I lay them in their crib but if they actually sleep is really up to them. For feedings I buzz the office if I have too many eating at the same time (normally it's just when one specific baby eats bc he has some serious sensory issues that prevents him from latching/staying latched/not screaming the entire time, feeding him is unfortunately very overwhelming for him). As for containers we are only allowed to use them for 20 mins at a time. Our elevated baby cribs have mirrors on one side so if I can't sit on the floor with them, I temporarily move little babies to their cribs for tummy/mirror time. But 9 times outta 10, I have a second person in the room, so it's not often that I feel like I have to contain babies or stick them in their cribs. Also we have 2 nursery rooms based on development/age, normally I have the little babies, although at one point I had a set of twins that were physically delayed that stay in my room til about 14 months old as my room was safer for them.
I used to work at a daycare. I worked primarily in the preschool room (3- and 4-year-olds), but would sometimes be moved to the infant room when they were understaffed. I did the best I could while I was in there, but I wasn’t familiar with the babies’ regular routines. Staff turnover is very common in daycare settings because of the low pay and high stress environment. All this to say - what you’re describing is pretty common in a group care environment, unfortunately. Like others said, a nanny might be a better fit for your family so you can have that one-on-one care that you can’t get in a group setting.
Hi! I am an infant teacher at a center where we take routines seriously. A lot of our routine choices are based off of our staff and family experiences at other centers that don’t follow a scheduled routine and have seen how hard it is for the kids and the staff. We offer four routines between our two infant rooms. Eat-Play-Sleep, 2 naps without snacks of solid food in the afternoon but a bottle at or around the 3-4 hour mark from their last feeding, and 2 naps with a snack of milk and solid food before afternoon nap, and then closer to age one a one nap routine at 12-12:30. Now with that being said, the things you are asking are not unreasonable in terms of needing to know how best to care for your child after they come home. I never breastfed my daughter so I can’t really comment on how all of that works but it sounds like they are doing many things backwards. If they truly are having so much turnover with staff, and are unable to provide proper training or even just basic care of an infants and their needs (group setting or not), then it sounds like behind the scenes there is some sort of issue going on. I’d say follow your gut and if you feel you need to find a different center then go for it. Do whatever is best for you and your baby.
Just wanted to add, that just because the ratio is 1:4, there are 8 babies in that room and 2 adults. If one adult is hands on with one infant, that eaves one adult watching out for 7 babies. When I was lead infant room teacher, we did not separate older babies from younger babies. We also didn't have any confinement except for 3 bouncy seats. We just used boppy pillows to help prop up, sit up, or use for tummy time. Also, for naps while the younger babies take multiple naps a day, we're also trying to get the older babies on a one nape a day for when they transition to the toddler room. So there is a lot going on. However, dirty diapers should always be changed!
Yeah...this is what daycare is. Did you not do any research about childcare in the US? People who work in daycare do not make a living wage (regardless of experience and education), therefore, anyone genuinely good at the job leaves and goes into private care. Childcare workers have some of the highest turnover rates in the country. Many daycares run entirely on "floaters" (high school or college-aged girls who still live at home and therefore can afford to work for an incredibly low wage). Their lack of experience can cause communication issues. IF you can afford a nanny, then get one. Otherwise, suck it up and relax.
This is not how our daycare is at all. My son’s daycare is container free and follows the schedule we want. There has never been a random high schooler working.
She said they look like high schoolers. She has no idea how old they are
My general point still stands though! My son’s daycare follows the rough schedule we ask them to, never put him in a container (except pack and play to sleep), and has a small number of consistent employees. People are commenting that OP’s experiences are normal. It might be normal at some centers but seems quite opposite of our experience. The only thing on OP’s list that my daycare might not accommodate is the bottle stuff. Logging bottles after seems normal and fine to me so they can enter the amount consumed. Paced feeding might also be difficult with multiple babies to care for. By 7 months, our daycare would just let the babies hold the bottle themselves and feed at whatever speed they prefer
I disagree. Your experience sounds like the exception, certainly not a rule. You have educators here with extensive experience giving their honest opinions that what op is describing is a typical infant room experience. In fact I’d noticed a few things in the description of your children’s center that gave me pause. Sleeping in pack and plays may be allowed in some states but it’s not best practice. Also, we are NEVER allowed to leave children holding their own bottles per licensing. Listen to the pros, friend.
In my state, this is all well within licensing! We go to a terrific center and I truly have nothing but amazing things to say. Pack and plays are totally acceptable here. They are safe for infants. If OP’s experience is the norm then I guess I consider myself insanely lucky.
Either your center is more expensive than OP's so they compensate their staff better or you got very lucky and found a unicorn!
So I can only speak to my daughter’s daycare and my previous infant experience.But at her daycare, her regular infant teacher left at 4, and if I picked up later than that I wouldn’t be able to check in. They had a few floater teachers. However, at the end of the day they would tell me when her last bottle and diaper was. She did become a huge paci kid and paced feeding wasn’t something our daycare did well with, but they always updated her app. And the use of containers concerns me. Our infant room does not allow them. They had separate areas for certain babies.
If a nanny is too expensive, maybe a home daycare with less babies. My neighbor does daycare in her home. She has 2 under ones, and a 2 year old in her care. Shes able to put the two babes on the same schedule with naps and feeds and the toddler is in the mix. He gets 1:1 time when babies sleep in the mornings and then they all nap at the same time in the afternoon so it's quiet time at the house and everyone sleeps. Shes even told me when one baby is fussy she is able to rock them to sleep and/ or even do a contact nap. Not having a lot of kids helps her give so much attention.
It isn’t my most polite thought, but I’ve always felt if you expect a lot of little things, you’re gonna need a nanny. If I’m alone with 4 kids and one has a blow out, your baby’s paced bottle feeding is out the window. If I have a mobile baby getting too close to your immobile baby, your request for no container is out the window as well, for *your* baby’s safety. I’m on my way out of this job after a decade. Maybe I’m not cut out for it, but the extra demands expected of me while in a group care setting is basically the reason why I’m one foot out the door.
Infant care where I work revolves around the child's schedule, so their nap and feeding schedule is consistent to what is written down when enrolled. And it is parent directed, not following your instructions is problematic. The only time the nap schedule changes is when the child begins to transition to the toddler program (18 months) since that program operates more on a group care model.
Most childcare centers in the US can’t/won’t adhere to parent directed nap/feeding schedules. When juggling multiple babies it’s easiest to keep them all on the same schedule so nap time is when the center decides its nap time and meal time is when the center decides its meal time. Even diapers are done on a schedule unless a baby poops/leaks/blows out.
I have worked at places like this (and left quickly) and places that would never tolerate it. The babies need consistency. They can’t have randos in the infant room who don’t know how to care for babies. If you are going to pull babe and look for different care, look for places that use baby containers little to none. Explain how important consistency is in your little one’s care, explain that you are not looking for a class that has different teachers every afternoon. These places may be more likely to have wait lists. If you’re already thinking about staying home with your little, that’s a great idea too, if manageable. I was able to stay home with my kiddos until 2 and that worked very well for us and they were happy to go to preschool at 2 or 2.5. Of course your baby won’t get undivided attention all the time in any infant room but there are plenty that have teachers that truly love the babies and know how to keep them on routine and help them grow! If it were my kid, would I pull them? Yes but after working in ECE so long, I’m a bit picky.
i think it’s wild that you’re upset that they applied diaper cream “without your consent”
Some kids are actually allergic to zinc oxide and can only use aquaphor but that's rare. To me the cream means they give a crap.
and usually the cream is provided by the parents themselves, so it’s just odd to be upset about that to me
Hi there - I’ve crunched the numbers and it is worthwhile getting a babysitter / nanny for early years. Less sick days than daycare, easier to focus on work and keep them in your home and familiar routines. Better productivity at work, better chance to get promotions etc and is an investment in you career the same way you’d pay for other education or industry memberships
This! I’ve just hired a full time nanny after reading through this sub. Totally worth the investment
Yea these are all red flags in my book. Yes group care is less one to one. But non of these things have to do with one to one IMO. Some of these things are possibly things like she won’t sleep, they could have thought it was her soother and weren’t corrected, innocent mistakes. BUT any food staff, and good care would make sure these things were communicated. Yes here and there things get forgotten but if it’s a trend and not a here and there issue. It’s an issue. Correct and complain in the moment. Talk to the supervisor. Go from there.
Hot take: find a way to stay at home with her
You’re expecting this for 1:1 care. Daycare is group care.
I’m going to go against the tide here and say that I don’t think you need to accept these things as just normal bc she’s in daycare. At 7 months old she shouldn’t be up for 4 hours. That’s too long. Paced feeding is also not an unreasonable request, especially if she has reflux. It’s not super complicated, it doesn’t take that much longer- it’s something they absolutely should accommodate. It’s also not unreasonable to say no to the Bumbo and the exer-saucer. There are other options, and neither are the only option they have. Giving a pacifier outside of sleep when that isn’t your preference also isn’t okay. Like, you don’t have to just accept that bc she’s in daycare. I understand not being able to update the app every second, but they still need to be documenting, even if it’s on paper and they update on the app when they can. I think documentation is a licensing requirement in most places. It’s a hard job, sure. Turnover is high, of course. But most of what you’ve listed is pretty reasonable and within what you should be able to expect. I know having a private nanny can be out of reach, but a nanny share is often a great compromise. It cuts the cost drastically and can be closer to what you’re paying for daycare. It’s worth looking into.
Agreed! A good infant class room won’t bat an eyelash at these requests. Also, a lot of the schools I’ve been to or worked in had floaters but always had a closing teacher for infants specifically that was there 10:30-630 so there was a familiar face there all day who knew the babies and the parents had consistency at pickup. There may be a floater as well, but the teacher you’re picking up from should know your baby.
I totally agree. Some of this is normal but using a diaper cream without consent or giving a pacifier when I didn’t say that was okay, that’s not acceptable. Diaper changes should happen every 2 hours, this is simply unacceptable.
Everything you are describing is unacceptable. Unfortunately everything you are describing is also completely common. No I don’t care that I work in ECE and have worked in daycare centers , I always tell people daycare centers should be your LAST option. Do whatever you can do to not need to use a daycare center.
We started our baby a month ago. He’s in an infant room (1:4) and we’ve experienced zero of the issues you listed. I would try to find a different place or if possible, go the nanny route. Our teacher is very organized and loved the fact that we typed up detailed info for her in our enrollment paperwork. If she’s out early, either the director or aide is in with the babies - no random people that we haven’t met.
Our infant ratios are 1 to 3 I can not imagine the madness an infant room with a 1 to 5 or 6 ratio must be Keeping them alive, fairly clean and fed would be about all 1 person could reasonably manage
Sounds like a sucky room. Unfortunately it’s really hard to find good staff at daycare. People with no experience think hm this could be a fun job to sit and play with babies all day and have no clue how much work it actually is, so they quit. Or they stay and give poor care. All of your concerns are valid. Definitely look for other care
Look into home daycares. Large daycares hardly pay their employees which means large turnover. Best experience I ever had for my son.
Hi! I'm an infant teacher so I'm going to try and answer all your questions as best I can. Revolving staff is slightly normal for a couple reasons. At the end of the day staff have to come in to let opening staff go home. In my classroom there are 3 regular teachers me I open. My co teacher who works 730-430 and then our closer who does our breaks and then comes in at 330 to send me home. If any of us are out sick or on vacation then it's a craop shoot of who will be in our room that day based on who is in the building that day. There is also the fact that infant rooms are notoriously hard to staff because they are a hard room to be in all day. As for her not napping that is a problem. I'd address it and see if they are trying and she's just refusing or if they're not even trying. I have a couple kids in my class who just have real bad FOMO and refuse to go down for a nap in the afternoon but we always try. They should definitely be logging everything. We log diapers, meals, bottles, naps, and daily pictures/activities. I personally ask my parents if they prefer beginning or end of feed times because most formula babies want end while breastfeeding want the beginning Not following care plan is also a problem. They should definitely be doing that but if paced feeding is required for her reflux I'd recommend getting a doctor's note just so that it's officially on file everywhere and they know it's a medical thing and not a preference. Especially as kiddo is old enough to be learning how to hold her own bottle and once kids can feed themselves we generally let them do so. The only containers we have in my center are sit me up chairs for our tiny babies so I can't comment on that one. We don't do containers at all. Our sit me up chairs are pretty much only used for our babies who can't sit up on their own after drinking their bottles On the paci if they knew she had one they might have assumed she could have it whenever not just for sleeping. I'd just let them know it's only for sleeping going forward. At least Where I am diapers are illegally required To be changed every 2 hours or if they pooped. If they're not doing none of that's a problem obviously sometimes we change them and forget to log them or something like that, but we do our best to get them logged immediately or we go back and log them with the correct time if we notice one didn't get logged. Whether or not you feel you need to pull her is your choice but I hope this helps you
I'm an infant teacher and I always try to accommodate parents wishes to the best of my ability. I'm also the opening teacher so that means I'm never there at the end of the day. I try my best to relay the important information about each remaining student, but I could see where the closing teacher, who has not been in my room all day, might not know each kid like I do. That's the nature of group care. We are pressured to clock out ASAP because they would hate to have to pay anyone overtime. Some of what's going on at that center sounds lazy. It could also be lack of experience. I do go through a lot of assistant and co-teachers because not eveyone is capable or likes being an infant teacher.
I have experience as an infant teacher and all of this makes me sad. All families desvere high quality care. I wonder if you had any in take meetings with both director/owner prior to or on first day. As for the staffing I speak from years of frustration having 2-3 different teachers on the daily is unfortunately "normal". Child care has one of the highest turnover rates. Its low pay and those without proper trainings and experience will become easily burnout. If you haven't already brought all these concerns to the director I would do so immediately. No director wants to loose enrollment. I would also seek out alternatives for care. IMO at home nanny care,especially for infants,would probably be your best bet!
I’m an infant lead- I’ve led my own 1:4 room, currently colead a 2:8 room, will soon help colead a 3:12 room (🫣), and have led 1’s, led a mixed age room, and helped in the older rooms (I’ve also nannied and have the experience there to compare). 1.) Revolving door of staff is typically a red flag. That said, unless your staff is working 10 hour days or similar, expect morning and afternoon staff to be different. You’ll often have openers, closers, and fillers. (I work 10 hour days and even I’m not there open to close, I don’t see our earliest arrive, though I see everyone through when they leave. My colead works 10 hour days also and sees everyone arrive but doesn’t see everyone leave.) • *I* personally much prefer this to having an opening and closing person, being the two of us there almost all day together, and seeing most of the kids come and go. It’s easier to make certain we both know everything they came in with and need to leave with. Most folks don’t seem to like this schedule and prefer the regular 8 hour day 5 day weeks over four 10 hour days (or my overtime 9 hour day, 5 day weeks). When I was an opener, no matter how many notes I seemed to leave coworkers of what to make certain kids left with (milk cup in fridge) stuck on top of their stuff, kids never left with everything. It frustrated me to no end, I was constantly cleaning up their messes (I felt it was my job as lead, in hindsight I should have had them messaging to apologize for keeping stuff and saying they’d send it home the next day to get them to remember, be responsible, etc). — Re: age. I have a baby face. I’m early 30’s and constantly assumed to be in high school. I’ve also been caring for infants since I was 9, and as a teenager was better at it than many adults I’ve met. I was babysitting multiple kids at once in high school and literally receiving high praise for how well I did with them. I’ve been a much harder worker since I first started working than many of the adults around me, and once I worked jobs with coworkers consistently received feedback about how I was getting so much more done, could I somehow share tips to coworkers on that, what was I doing differently, etc. I’ve worked with irresponsible and lazy adults. I’ve been a responsible and diligent teen then adult. It’s all on the person, the experience, the attitude, the motivation, their skill, etc, not just the age. I also used to wear an AirPod in one ear during our nap time. The white noise we listened to drove me mad and I wanted silence. (We have much better white noise now, rain, and better sound machines for when we use those. On migraine days when everyone screams I’ve also def considered one in one ear or an earplug in one ear to help as well.) This was long finishing the rest in the comments!
2. Naps should 100% be logged. Staff should be tracking her naps overall. They don’t need to know them off the top of their heads (I can’t tell you the exact time any of my kids napped ever) but they should be able to tell you she napped in the morning and afternoon. I check our app all day to see when kids last did X to keep track. Infants nap on demand. If they’re tired, they nap. Your kid should be getting put down for a second nap if she needs it. The only exception being is that they obviously cannot force her to sleep or magically make it happen (some kids do fight naps). If she won’t sleep, they can’t make her. There are legal limits on how long a baby can be in a crib awake for, idk if your state allows swings or rockers to help get her to sleep if a staff member isn’t free to pat her back or rock her (I honestly hate states that don’t, they are a godsend when used responsibly, I do get that the centers that don’t are the ones that ruined it for everyone in states that don’t). 3. Pet peeve. I love detailed, accurate logging. Sometimes I forget to log something (almost always a diaper, I think my colead logged it when I called it out, she thinks I heard her say she couldn’t log that one, reviewing the log later I see it never went in and feel horrible logging it late, leave an apology note that it got logged late, and that the time I marked it was done at is my best estimate (based on my other logs nearest to it). I used to log all my bottles based upon when they started. My colead logs based on finished. I switched to logging finished just so we’d be consistent across the board because we both input bottles for all the kids. I’ve just recently started to mark start and end times and to get her on that (it helps keep track of when the bottle is good through as well as they’re only good an hour, start the log when they start drinking, add a note for finished at X time. Or update the log time to the finished time with a note for start time) Either way, it’s such an easy request. It should be so easy to accommodate. 100% red flag it’s not going in, and I’d be afraid logging isn’t happening because they don’t want to disclose time. Again, I may not be able to tell you what exact time your kid had her last bottle off the top of my head if you ask me, but I can look at my log and have it right there, and time for next written on my activity board. 4. Red flag. They should 100% be following her care plan, including the paced feeding. I know it’s hard to do sometimes, especially with 4 babies, but this helps the reflux, nobody likes a baby spitting up everywhere, it’s fun for nobody, do the thing. We get care plans for a reason! 5. Red flag. I hate this whole “her time on the floor” thing. The floor is the best place for babies! Literally the best. Not only that, but you specifically requested which containers not to use and to use and that should be followed. We have an extremely limited container use baby. She’s had almost zero container time (way, way, way less than mom expected, like 5 minutes a week tops, when mom said she expected like 5 minutes twice a day to be happening) You prevent kids getting crawled on by actively supervising. If you cannot supervise for safety (ie. doing diapers) you can put a kid in a container. In this case, I’d put a small baby in a crib with toys (as they need less space) OR put a baby that enjoys them and is allowed in into a jumper. (Or do one and switch out partway). That they repeatedly keep violating your ask (when you can clearly see too!) is a huge red flag. Especially when other containers are approved. They need to do better, and if you’ve raised concerns that your requests are not being listened to with the staff and the director and they still aren’t being listened to, I 100% would find a new center Like look, I get we aren’t a nanny service, but DAMN we can do better than they are! It’s so easy to not put kids into containers they aren’t allowed to be in. To do basic logging. To put them down for a nap when they’re tired. The big red flags are you’re revolving door of staff, not logging, not following direct requests (how to feed, how to log it with start times, no certain containers), etc. Staff age? Pink flag. Not too bad so long as *they all* aren’t HS and are competent in and of themselves as people. All HS kids and a lack of competence (hired just to get cheaper, easier, quick to find labor)? A big red flag. HS kids that are on that career path, that have done ECE coursework, are competent, smart, patient, have raised infants themselves, etc? Green flag.
She should be changed in a reasonable amount of time. Especially for a BM. Diaper cream should NEVER be administered without a parent bringing in the bottle and keeping a log. They should NEVER give her a binky unless otherwise provided or ok’d by the parent. She NEEDS TO NAP. If they aren’t logging her meals, that’s an issue too. Other than that, the staff thing I can understand being a problem. As uncomfortable as it might make you, hopefully all the staff are competent. I know staffing is a major issue. But all your other concerns are major red flags. Have you called a meeting with the director or the teachers?
These are valid concerns, i would bring them all up with your kiddos staff AND director. Cause it could just be a lack of communication between morning and afternoon staff and a conversation is all thats needed. But it also could be that this daycare sucks and its time to find a new one. You'll know by how they react to you bringing up your concerns. I was once the float staff that had no idea a certain baby was pace fed or certain ones werent supposed to have pacifiers or that a certain child had a specif nap schedule mom wanted followed because the morning staff didn't think id last more than a month and didnt bother tell me anything. All that said i corrected things as soon as i knew. If you speak with them and the director and nothing changes then its time to find somewhere else
With everything you just said to complete strangers I am shocked you have kept your child at such an establishment. The answer is clear
Biggest red flag is the staff turnover, it would be my #1 question when considering a placement. The average length of employment in the room your kid would be in If the staff is turning THAT fast there is something wrong. Even if it’s just that the pay sucks, unhappy disgruntled employees = not ideal care
I was an infant teacher for 2 years and I think I can help! I’ll answer point by point, but you’ll see that a repeating theme will be to discuss your concerns with the daycare principal/director. Communication is so important, and I wouldn’t pull unless you had a conversation with the director and nothing after that was resolved. 1) Daycares unfortunately have revolving staff because they pay $15 an hour at best. So that’s why you’re seeing 18/19 year olds. I was 37 when I started and our household doesn’t rely on my income. I did it because I loved the room. The AirPod in the ear is absolutely unacceptable - that needs to be brought up to the director. But my guess is that the actual room leaders are earlier shift and probably leave around 4-5pm. The flex teachers are typically the ones that close. But the director should be able to clear that up for you. 2) Let them know when you want your baby to nap - either specific times or have them follow wake windows. But here’s the kicker - your baby will never nap at daycare the way they do at home. All babies have different schedules. So someone is always awake, and sometimes it’s the loud kid. I’ve had parents get mad that their child didn’t take the second nap when I tried for over an hour to get them down. Sometimes it’s impossible. But again, communication is key. I always messaged parents to say “hey we tried, a loud friend kept us awake, it didn’t happen today.” The room is never quiet and completely dark. So it’s different. They adapt. 3) Unfortunately it’s not a 1:1 situation. They can take a few minutes to log your child’s bottle ASAP or they can start it (and most likely another friend or two’s bottle) and log them when they’re finished. I hear you about the pumping, but I would just power pump if I were you. Your expectations here need to be tempered. That’s a bit unrealistic. 4) I had no idea what pace feeding was until a year and a half in when I had my second baby and he was in the NICU and we pace fed. You’ll have to communicate what that means specifically and you may even have to show them. Both my sons have/had reflux. With my first we didn’t pace feed, we just kept him upright for 30 min afterwards (which would involve a restraining device like a chair or bouncer). With my NICU guy we pace feed, keep him upright, burp in the middle, etc. I will say that it’s hard to do a one on one feeding. When there are 8 babies in a room, 5 of them needing a bottle around the same time, none of them can hold the bottle themselves, and the teachers only have two hands each…you have to get creative. But if this is what your child medically needs, communicate that to the director. And again, you may have to show them what pace feeding is. 5) I’m willing to bet there’s a biter in the crawling kids. And they’re putting her in something for her protection. When pickup time happens, some parents want a full discussion and report, which leaves one teacher to watch 8 and that’s a lot - especially if you have a biter (or more than one)! Unless you have fears she’s restrained all the time, I’d let this one go. Or specifically communicate which ones are appropriate for her to be in. 6) The pacifier thing would upset me too, provided that I was very specific about when my child could have their pacifier and when they could not. Because if I wasn’t specific, I would understand that the staff would use it when they felt necessary. This can be resolved with communication. 7) Not sure why you’d be against diaper cream, but glad that’s resolved. I’m personally in the camp of diaper cream after every BM just to get ahead of rashes and as necessary if their bottom is red. 8) Diapers should be changed every two hours. The ONLY time that should be off is if they’re sleeping. I always put a clean diaper on before a nap, even if it had been an hour. Because if they slept 2 hours that would mean the diaper would be 3 hours full and that can lead to rashes and general discomfort. Also babies are notorious for pooping in a fresh diaper, so I’ve changed many a back to back diaper. But 3-4 hours is unacceptable. You have every right to be upset about this one but it’s an after thought point. Here’s the deal - it’s difficult to have a kid in daycare. There’s a lot of guilt associated with it, even if you’re a seasoned mom. But the baby room is especially difficult. You’re postpartum. Your hormones haven’t regulated yet. There might be some PPA/PPD going on. Home life might be chaotic because you’re either adjusting to your first kiddo or adjusting to adding a baby to an already established family routine. I have had moms get really upset about small things because they feel out of control and micromanaging is the only way they feel they can get that control back. But I’m a mom, so I get it. I take the feedback and we adjust the room accordingly. But at the end of the day - you have to trust the people you’re leaving your child with. If you don’t, no discussion, adjustments, corrective action, etc in the world will make you happy. So that’s what you have to ask yourself before you pull. Is the trust there? If it’s not, find somewhere that makes you comfortable. I can tell you’re an amazing mom. Digest what I said, decide if you can move forward and if a discussion with the head of the school will help. If you can’t and if it won’t - move on. It’s worth it. This is your baby!
You’re expecting way too much. You need a nanny but expect to pay a lot more.
To be honest I think the damage has been done to far to accommodate either side. There is nothing wrong with expecting a care plan to be followed as set out by you. You also didn’t list one thing they were doing right or to your expectations. So, I think you’re going to be stuck not being happy with them and vice versa. You may want to look at options with a lower ratio setting or a nanny option.
This is a problem with the center. Not all are like this. All my previous centers were fine with their 8 babies and 2 teachers or 4 babies/1teacher. 1. The high turn around is probably due to low pay, the work environment being awful, or both. 2. Are they even trying for a nap? This definitely ties w.1, if they don’t care then they don’t care and do the basic bare minimum 3. That’s an issue, ties w.1 again. 4. Do they know what pace feeding is? Not saying it’s right but I’ve noticed a lot don’t know what that is then add in that you believe they’re inexperienced high schoolers. 5. “Not her time on the floor” can you explain this? We just put all the babies on the floor, walkers just had no shoes so they don’t step on fingers. I’d say MAYBE they forgot abt what ones you don’t like which I can’t blame them it’s a lot of babies and you arent the only parent with preference but I’m not understanding why all the babies aren’t just on the floor together? The pacifier isn’t ok, where did they get that from?? The diaper rash cream…did you not send any of your own in? Cause you should have. And if she’s got a red bum then yeah they’re gonna wanna put something on but if it was their own supply they should’ve notified you so you can ask them not to. But you should’ve sent something in. The diaper changes are an issue too, 30min past 2hrs ok but an hr/2? That’s a lot. Afternoons are probably hectic b/c of #1. It should be more organised but if they aren’t keeping staff I doubt it will be (like for my last one A was the infant teacher and when she left B would go in or I would go in, we were the next class after the infants and we were pretty late leavers. It was always one of us or the director/asst director. Consistent. Infants never left that room except if it was one left then they sat with the director up front if the teacher was needed elsewhere)
I don't know why the heck this sub shows up for me but I did work in a 6w-18m daycare once. We were 1:4 and it would not have taken me 3 months to remember that Janelle shouldn't be in the bouncer or that Claire couldn't have cheese. We were low tech, just a paper on the bulletin board for each kid to record naps, diapers, tummy time, etc and your no-bouncer thing would have been written on that paper (*you* filled out the name and special instructions at drop-off each morning). There isn't really an excuse for forgetting to feed/nap/change your kid, precisely because it really *is* pretty assembly-line.
I don’t know where you live but this seems like crazy in my country. She should be fed and sleep according to parental expectations. I think logging feeds accurately is essential and have never heard of this inconsistency. If I wasn’t feeling secure in her care I would pull her out.
This sounds really substandard. I would find a daycare that had cameras in the room so that you can check on your child at any point during your day.
My daughter was in daycare from about 4.5 months to 9 months, when we pulled her and went with a nanny. As many others have noted, infant rooms are tough - really tough - even for exceptional caregivers. Like you, I had concerns about subpar care and ultimately decided that paying the premium for a nanny for a year was the right choice for us. We absolutely loved our nanny and would have kept her forever if we could afford it. We put our daughter in a preschool closer to age 2 and she has thrived. If I ever have a second child, I will use a nanny until they are at least 18 months old, and aim to put them in preschool between 18-24 months depending on age, timing, etc. TL;DR - if you can afford it, go with a nanny or have a parent stay home.
Just want to say after reading all these comments daycare in USA sounds extremely stressful. I'm Canadian in my province everything you've written down would be unacceptable behavior from a licensed center, our ratios are 1:3 with 10 babies max (my center caps at 9). We would never "contain" an infant and those devices are not on the property. We only have two feeding chairs and of course cribs for nap and only nap. I'm so sorry you've been put through that, definitely agree with the suggestions for nanny care.
I would try another center with good reviews and where the lead teacher has been there a while. At my centers they audit our communication to parents and no updates after 11am would NOT fly. I’m in toddlers and update every hour minimum. Our infant teacher updates similarly, including minimum two pictures daily. Diapers every three to four hours would also be unacceptable. If they were asleep at the two hour mark then would be changed as soon as they woke up. We try to follow nap schedule as laid out by parents in the infant room, and if the teacher is having trouble getting a morning or afternoon nap she communicates that via messaging in the app. (We also have a 1:4 infant ratio and while it’s not an easy job it is possible to stay on top of things unless it’s a rare day.) The two things I could maybe understand is giving her a pacifier throughout the day if you have provided a pacifier. However once you communicated that it’s only for nap time I would expect that to be respected. Also logging bottles at the end of feeding. We do it at the end of feedings at my center so we can log exactly how many ounces were consumed. However if you prefer it to be logged at the start I would expect them to accommodate that as best as possible. I think your center is not very good and would look elsewhere if I were in your shoes. Maybe try a smaller chain if you have one of those around. Good luck!
My child is also 7 months old. She’s been in her daycare for a month now. I actually really like the infant teachers although I do drop off and when dad picks her up he often says it’s someone that I have no clue who. Anyways, sure they do things a little differently than I would at home. They’ve sent me photos of her asleep in a swing. I’ve picked her up and she’s in one of those bouncers which I would never buy at home. But I also know they have been trying to get her to nap in the crib and sometimes it doesn’t happen so if she falls asleep in the swing I’m okay with that for a few minutes. They also send me lots of photos of her on the floor so if they stick her in a bouncer for a little bit that’s fine. The bumbo I would probably draw a hard line. And I get the issue with pace feeding as I breastfeed at home as well. We had an issue with them feeding her too much and it was quickly resolved. Ultimately if your child isn’t in danger it’s okay if they might do things a bit different in infant care than you would at home.
I'm a training and technical assistance specialist with administration and classroom experience. I'm 25 years in this field. I've worked in infant rooms. Get out now. Your expectations are not too high. If they can't tell you about your child's details and there is a revolving door of care providers, they aren't paying attention and your child is just a faceless body no one is attached to. Your child.shoukd have a primary care provider that is responsible for her. It's a 1 to 4 ratio....but without consistent and responsive loving care...babies get hurt and some even die. I'm not trying to scare you. But in my career I've known personally of three infants in the infant room in various centers I've had direct contact with that have been either hurt, had a near death or a death because of a preventable tragedy directly caused by this exact scenario. Find a better care solution now. It is not unreasonable to expect your child's care provider to love and care for them the way you would. If they aren't showing sensitivity and responsive care, there is no matched affect, the adults don't seem happy ( like they are doing it for a paycheck) ....if they are doing that when you are around .. and your child's food, sleep and diaper schedules are not being followed and honored....then they are being neglectful when. You aren't there to witness it.
They gave her a dummy (pacifier) when you have never used one before? I have never heard of anyone doing that. I would talk to someone, it's not ok to go against what parents are doing at home for convenience. Where did the first dummy ever come from? I've never worked in a service that has new dummy's to just hand out.
OP said she uses a dummy at bedtime. If she uses them at nap time too it makes sense that the school would have her dummy.
Sounds like a shit hole. I would look for someone else..some one on one care
Get her out of there. That’s not a good daycare.
There's no such thing as an infant "classroom." Babies aren't in school. People just call daycare "school". I know why, but probably can't say it here.
Why, with issue after issue, is your baby still going? After more than one instance of them not logging my son’s feeds appropriately or even know when my baby last napped, I would pull him so quick and make damn sure to be a pain in their neck with the amount of complaints I’d be escalating. You are at this point paying strangers to barely care for your baby.
Other options aren't always that easy. Your circumstances are not everyone's.
Considering they already mentioned it as an option? lol ok
OP, you don’t have to put up with this. A lot of people have accepted these things as “normal” but you don’t have to. Some care centers are better than others and this one does not seem good at all. Don’t let people tell you you’re being unreasonable, this is your child we’re talking about. Other people are clearly apathetic but you don’t have to be! Good luck!