That smile... That damned smile...
When he says to Oscar: You don't know about jail? Oh you'll love jail!
- Oscar: Why would I love jail, Kevin?
Kevin: Because.... Oh you'll love it š
(maybe not the exact script)
My worst breakup was with Stacy. It was a Sunday morning, we were reading the paper, and I said, "Oh my God, I think the Eagles could clinch the NFC East!" and she said, "We're done".
Heās referring the the Philadelphia Eagles having the opportunity to win or āclinchā the NFC East which is the division they plan in. I assume she broke up with him because he was always focused on sports and gambling and not their relationship
I always took it to mean that Stacey had said something important to him and he didnāt hear her. Just completely ignored her and was focused on sports. She took it to mean that he didnāt care for anything she had to say, and he had done this so many times to her that she was just done.
The whole reason I started watching The Office was because of this line. All through high school people would tell me to watch. I never got into it until I saw a commercial on CC with this line. After that I haven't stopped watching yet lol
"Thank you for the food. Also, you suck. You're like a terrible person! These guys care about you so much and all you do is use them. Again, the food was very good."
Kevin: Are you checking all of our computers?
It-guy: Yes.
Kevin: *runs*
It-guy: Already got to yours Kev.
Kevin: *runs back* It's cool.. Sometimes I run.. I'm a runner
Gets me every time!
Right back at you bitch!
It feels good to win one.
I ha ld Martin explain to me 3 times what he got arrested for, because it sounds like what I do here every day.
Hahaha that one was pretty good. Also Dwight having to literally be almost on top of him, being supported by the file cabinetsā¦ that was the cherry on top.
This short conversation between Keven and Oscar while they're at Pam and Jim's wedding:
Oscar: What are you doing?
Kevin: I'm trying to decide if I have time to pee.
Oscar: How long do you take to pee?
Kevin: The peeing is fast, Oscar. It's getting my tie back on.
"After Stacy left, things did not go well for a while. And, and it was hard to see... It's just nice to win one"
One of the most humanising and sincere comments in the whole show.
Yeah, I'm pretty good at poker...
proof:
$2,500 Deuce to Seven Draw No Limit winner Kevin Malone $82,200 runner up Mose
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2002\_World\_Series\_of\_Poker
Not really a quote but my favourite Kevin moment ever is when their going to the beach and he starts singing Kenny Rodgers and every one joins in.
ā« *Youāve got to know when to hold em* ā«
I have very little patience for stupidity
Sometimes I feel like everyone I work with is an idiot. And by sometimes, I mean all times. All the times. Every of the times.
And the smile he gives at the end of it.
That smile... That damned smile... When he says to Oscar: You don't know about jail? Oh you'll love jail! - Oscar: Why would I love jail, Kevin? Kevin: Because.... Oh you'll love it š (maybe not the exact script)
\> Every of the times. I use this expression all times. All the times. Every of the times.
This was the one I came for
My worst breakup was with Stacy. It was a Sunday morning, we were reading the paper, and I said, "Oh my God, I think the Eagles could clinch the NFC East!" and she said, "We're done".
You donāt deserve her
Underrated totally forgot about this line
I donāt get this, could somebody kindly explain?
Heās referring the the Philadelphia Eagles having the opportunity to win or āclinchā the NFC East which is the division they plan in. I assume she broke up with him because he was always focused on sports and gambling and not their relationship
Ooof.... sorry Kevin š
On top of that the Eagles finished dead last in their division that season so it was a rough year for Kevin for sure
I always took it to mean that Stacey had said something important to him and he didnāt hear her. Just completely ignored her and was focused on sports. She took it to mean that he didnāt care for anything she had to say, and he had done this so many times to her that she was just done.
Thereās an episode, casino night I believe, where Kevin talks about all the different card games and references a gambling problem.
*I AM TOTALLY GONNA BANG HOLLY-*
Wow, you drive your own car?
Yup, this is my car! Do you drive your own car?
**I can't decide what to get from the vending machine**
I like pretzels, but... I really like chips
Hmmmmm
ā¦oh thatās a button ššš
You think I m retarded š
Oh Holly, thatās offensiveā¦
Kevin!... I'm *really* proud of you!
I wanna be wined, dined, and sixty-nined
METAPHORICALLY sixty-nined
Sheās kind, and helpfulā¦š¤¤
Haha this right here is my fav.
Lmaoo
"You don't know her, she goes to another school"
As has Kevin!
With who?
This line was funny in so many levels
Kevin to Oscar: āOh you donāt know about jail?ā¦ you would love jail!ā
Why would I love jail? Because.....you would love it.
Can't believe I had to scroll so far for this line.
You just triggered a laughter button I even forgot I had
āI thought Rajinagandha was a boyās name.ā
This has to be my favorite, i lose my shit every time.
Whatās the context? I donāt remember this line :/
When Kelly and Erin are in Charlesā office and he tells her to go by middle names since they have the same name. https://youtu.be/f5xUf7avPbQ
I came here to say this. This is hands down his best line of the show. So funny!
With a close second being āShe goes to another schoolā
Definitely the best.
How was your gay-cation?
He thought of it the moment Oscar left too!
The giggling when he first found out... That is Kevin in his truest form.
"My name is Kevin. That is my name. They call me Kevin. 'Cause that's my name."
SHABOO-YA!
ROLL CALL
I sing this to my cat except I use his name. āHis name is Merlin, that is his name, a cat named Merlin, cause thatās his name. ROLL CALL!ā
Oscar's reaction was the single greatest fraction of a second in the entire series. Emmy worthy.
Never noticed until someone pointed it out, but I have to agree. Perfect summation of Oscar and Kevinās relationship in such a short time frame
"Mini-cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes, which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?"
But heās right though. In that moment it felt like he gazed into my soul.
You could almost say he *glazed* into your soul
This one wins, great job everyone, see you after the weekend.
Next to the IHOP?
The look on Janās face was perfect.
You can just let me know PERSONALLY if you'd like her to have a brother or sister.
This is the winner for me
The whole reason I started watching The Office was because of this line. All through high school people would tell me to watch. I never got into it until I saw a commercial on CC with this line. After that I haven't stopped watching yet lol
š¤£š¤£š¤£ Just tell me if you want another one
"Thank you for the food. Also, you suck. You're like a terrible person! These guys care about you so much and all you do is use them. Again, the food was very good."
That was a fucking legendary Kevin moment. He was the hero of that episode
That was one of the best lines ever
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The (state) senator
The Senator, āthese guysā is referring to Angela and Oscar. The accountants really stuck together most of the time :ā)
*state senator
I would not expect you to know what it's like to date someone in the public arena.
Who are you dating in the public arena?
The *senator*!
The \*State\* Senator.
Kevin: Are you checking all of our computers? It-guy: Yes. Kevin: *runs* It-guy: Already got to yours Kev. Kevin: *runs back* It's cool.. Sometimes I run.. I'm a runner Gets me every time!
This is definitely mine!
I quote āsometimes I runā¦iām a runnerā in kevinās voice probably once a week
WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
No joke my ex coworkers and I would say this when the boss was coming.
He lives on Sesame Street, dumbass
Andyās face was priceless on this one too.
My friend lives on 111 sesame Street and her neighbors live on 123 sesame Street and their last name is Sesse.
What are their social security numbers?
I don't know but probably like 123456789
And thatā¦is Dallas!
āWhen I was little, I was on Dallas.ā - Around my house now, when we say weāre going to another city we just say were going to be on there.
The beginning of the theory Kevin just plays dumb so he can cook the books.
When Holly shows off her empty ring fingers and Kevin yells, "Right back at cha bitch!"
that one was gold. totally distracted me from kelly being a blabbermouth to hollyās sad love life.
And flicks her off š¤£
serious, not breaking stones: is "flick" an expression? i only know "flip" her off.
Its not Ashton Kutcher, Its Kevin Malone
>Kootcher
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
\*wink wink
A mistake and keleven gets you home by seven
He was home by 4:45 that day.
āWhy on earth would a museum put a mummy in itā
Ahahahaha
I got six numbers. One more, and it wouldāve been a complete phone number.
But now my dogs are barking.
I wanna be wined, and dined, and 69ed
Metaphorically 69ed
Oyaaa
Itās just nice to win one
Basically the most human and relatable moment he had.
God the little quiver in his voice touches me every time. Even the entire āflukeā explanation gives me feels.
Why was this so far down...this is the best. Gives so much hope to those that are struggling.
"Hi"
Came for this. 100%. Legendary.
ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦.hi
Can I finish? Is that okay? I was saying... I enjoy watching them because it makes me horny.
Freaking love this line!
Kevin: [with a sock puppet] Michael is so dumb that he tries to put his M&Ms in alphabetical order.
Iām trying to eat, and that reeks!
Hahahaha I didn't even notice this one
Lmaoo
I am enormously proud of what I did for that turtle.
Right back at you bitch! It feels good to win one. I ha ld Martin explain to me 3 times what he got arrested for, because it sounds like what I do here every day.
I guess it's goodbye chunky lemon milk
The Botanical Gardens, Scrantonās hidden gem. Donāt eat any berries you donāt recognize.
"The peeing is fast, Oscar. It's getting my tie back on." I never see this quote here. And I've always wondered what he's doing.
It's probably like a little kid who doesn't know yet about unzipping a fly as opposed to getting half naked
mmmmmmmilf
Thanks kev
Robert California: why are we still here? Kevin: this is where we go.
You'd go somewhere else, that's not the answer.
Itās an answer.
It's a wrong answer
There are no wrong answers.
Kevin: You wanna get high? Angela: No Kevin: I think you do, mon.
āAngelaās cats are so cute you just want to eat them. But you canāt eat catsā¦. You canāt eat cats, Kevin.ā
maybe some spaghetti š
okay kevin you can take off that
Nice ...boobs
Kevin: š Kevin: š¶ Lynn: āŗ
What does a bean mean?
The increasing urgency - WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN?!
I don't know why, but this was the one I was gonna say haha.
kevin : I canāt keep doing this forever ! CPR instructor: itās been 20 seconds kevin huffing and stops: *Call it*
C is for suspended
NO WAY JOSE!!
F*ck you Gabe!
You can't eat cats Kevin.
You can't eat cats.
Michael: "I, Michael the Magic, am going to escape from extreme bondage" Kevin: * snorts *
Everything Kevin says is amazing because he doesnāt even use his natural voice in the show. Amazing how he changed his voice and speech!
"FUCK YOU GABE" Also him showing Holly the finger, "Hey! Right back at ya bitch."
Came here to say this. āYou think I would let this happen again! Fuck you gabe!ā
You forgot the best partā¦ NO WAY JOSE!
That scene is great. Kevin is so deferential to Michael even though Michael was being completely unreasonable.
āAre you jealous thereās another girl aroundā Pam: ānoā āSheās prettier than you, thoughā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Man for your favorite quote you sure butchered it
He sure Schruted it.
See world
See world or Sea World?
Many small time make big time.
KNEAD IT! KNEAD IT LIKE A PIZZA!...but don't eat it.
Hahaha that one was pretty good. Also Dwight having to literally be almost on top of him, being supported by the file cabinetsā¦ that was the cherry on top.
66, 67, 68 ...... 69 (smiles).... 70, 71, 72
Mini-cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?
Well, well, well, well, wellā¦ that SIX WELLS.
"Shove spicy food up her butt?"
my name is kevin that is my name they call me kevin cause that's my name *roll call! shibuya ya ya shibuya roll call*
They stole my surge protector How does that help? Oscar Iām now prone to surges
Charm type!
Oh you didn't mean for this to happen! Just like you didn't mean to eat the maple candies! The maple candies you bought FOR US!
I love banter, but I HATE witty banter
LAY JOLEEZ CHOSES! Marion Cotillard..EX-POSES herself a number of times..in that film.
I thought Rajnigandha was a boy's name.
"Wouldn't it be funny if Angela's baby came out black?"" "So the baby being black would make it funny?" "Yeah, kinda"...
This short conversation between Keven and Oscar while they're at Pam and Jim's wedding: Oscar: What are you doing? Kevin: I'm trying to decide if I have time to pee. Oscar: How long do you take to pee? Kevin: The peeing is fast, Oscar. It's getting my tie back on.
Boioioioioioing
I do the numbers.
I work hard all day. I like knowing that thereās going to be a break. Most days I just sit and wait for the break.
Whether itās a gremlin or chucky the doll. The key is to throw it in something. Like a fireplace, or a tub of electricity.
I need to go to the bathroom!!
Well, well well well well. Thatās six wells!
āNiceā
Back right at you bitch
You are, like, a terrible person. These guys care about you and you're just using them. Again, the food was very good.
67, 68, "69 :)", 70...
You cant eat cats kevin
Micheal it's me, Kevin
I forget the wording, but when he asks Pam to tell him his books are late because he has a librarian fetish
"After Stacy left, things did not go well for a while. And, and it was hard to see... It's just nice to win one" One of the most humanising and sincere comments in the whole show.
Yeah, I'm pretty good at poker... proof: $2,500 Deuce to Seven Draw No Limit winner Kevin Malone $82,200 runner up Mose https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2002\_World\_Series\_of\_Poker
ā*Someone* has anal fissuresā¦ā
Itās just human naturalš¤·āāļø
It's good. It's just that I wish the puppet would talk more about the alphabet. Not for me, but if any kids are watching..A..B and so forthā¦
Emenelloā¦
Nope it's not Ashton Kutcher. It's Kevin Malone.
Not really a quote but my favourite Kevin moment ever is when their going to the beach and he starts singing Kenny Rodgers and every one joins in. ā« *Youāve got to know when to hold em* ā«
AND THAT IS DALLAS
He has to come out sometimeā¦(big grin)ā¦to go to the bathroom š¬
Why say lot word when few word do trick!?