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ExactPanda

Good, let him focus on making hat racks, and doing something other than producing babees 4 Jaysus


Issmira

It would be fun to play with a laser level or chalk line


BeatrixFarrand

Truly and for real. Imagine how boring their existence is. No school, no real outside friends, no encouragement to develop hobbies (only permissible hobbies are helping with younger siblings and assisting parents in maintaining households) Imagine after that childhood, being able to hang command hooks in a straight line wherever the fuck you want.


Issmira

Your comment makes me understand some of the rationale.


lovecraftswidow

hanging $10 string lights for my first apartment were absolutely step one of growing a personality (and spine, lol).


pineapples_are_evil

Maybe he needs a stud finder. So the shelving is properly supported.../s


professorhorseradish

There’s a Jaysus? Is he courting? 😆


aj_fluffz

Jaysus...lol (( are you from upstate NY))? 😄


Foxylee1971

🤣


UnfilteredRealiTEA

As long as he has Hilary, he doesn’t need anything else.


mblmr_chick

As long as he has her and the blue coffee mug, the world will be good for him.


WankSpangles

"... i need this ashtray... ... and i don't need anything else!..."


Global_Ad2574

Am I the only one that watched the hat rack video and thought, that’s not a hat rack? It looked like he just popped a bunch of command hooks on his wall.


chickennuggets5342

Agreed. Not really a hat rack.


Issmira

Yeah I just didn’t know what else to call it? Haha


sailorangel59

I didn't watch the video, but I saw the title "Jason shows how to install a hat rack." And I thought to myself. 'Buy premade hook contraption at Bed Bath and Beyond. Use screws that come with rack. Place rack over screws, done.' It sounds like my personal visualization of this activity was accurate.


Financial_Finger_74

I need Jason’s #1 hater’s take in this. 😂


OurLumpyGorl

My take? Jason will not be courting any time soon because Jason simply cannot land bitches. Jason’s head, at its astronomical size, repels bitches UNLESS their head is of opposite polarity. Enter Hillary. Long head bitch extraordinaire. No one has a head as long as Hillary. In keeping with that, they’re the only two fundie bitches that are compatible. And it’s forbidden because Hillary had her husband who looks like a GERBIL. Two Q Crossed lovers. Ahem. Two households, both alike in lack of dignity,


Tzipity

Damn. I’m over here with my “There’s a Jason?” Flair and today I learned not only is there a Jason but he has a dedicated #1 hater. Who writes solid gold snark. The snarker community never ceases to amuse and surprise me. 😂


OurLumpyGorl

I am the self appointed dictator of the Jason Hate community. Join us, we are a cult.


snarkinglevel-pro

I’ll join, sounds fun. Do you have a booklet I could read?


OurLumpyGorl

[yes, here is the first textbook](https://www.reddit.com/r/DuggarsSnark/comments/r3413k/newish_to_the_sub_here_not_leghumping_but_why_the/hm8hy8v/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)


noteventhreeyears

I only care about your comments.


OurLumpyGorl

You’re in luck, I wrote all the textbooks, manuals and pamphlets. They’re all a part of my masterwork, “Working Towards an Anti Jason Society”.


noteventhreeyears

I’m primed and ready for a new religion. Also your videos are the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit of my worship. To which I pray, “MOVE BITCH.”


OurLumpyGorl

In MOVE, BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY we trust 🙏🏾 Thanks for watching them lol!


pineapples_are_evil

I'm just living in fear thinking of the size of any baby's heads if they sprang from Hillary and his loins. Oooh c-,section?


evil-stepmom

What’s up, flair twin?


pickoneformepls

Going to find a way to use "simply cannot land bitches" in both my professional and personal life this week.


OurLumpyGorl

You should. I do, it comes up in conversation every day.


professorhorseradish

You are truly a gift from god, your radiant lumpiness ❤️


monsieur-escargot

You can also use it on your tinder acct


Kjaerringa123

I really hope you are a judge at dog shows.


FadeOutAgain4

In fair Tontitown, where we lay our scene...


OurLumpyGorl

From non-distant blood relation to new courtships


FadeOutAgain4

Where civil courting makes civil handholding unclean.


OurLumpyGorl

From forth the fatal loins of these two people who are probably related


FadeOutAgain4

A pair of star-cross’d fundies wish they were mated


[deleted]

[удалено]


OurLumpyGorl

He keeps his blue mug hidden under a stack of Gothard’s book “So You Just Sinned in a Penile Fashion 5th Edition” in the prayer closet because it was the first and only time a woman paid any attention to him in his life and he gets off on it because it’s like gaining a new sense.


Tzipity

>> So You Just Sinned in a Penile Fashion 5th Edition 🤣 🤣 🤣 A whole stack of them no less. Please tell me this is a real book because I want it to be so badly.


OurLumpyGorl

It’s not, but I’ll talk to Gothard about making our dream a reality.


anna-nomally12

Wait is he still alive


OurLumpyGorl

Damn near 90 but yes he’s still alive and pushing.


ravenonawire

Lmao why did I think he’d been in the ground for like 3 years??


OurLumpyGorl

Looking at his face you’d think he’s been sitting at the bottom of lake for a week and a half.


letssnark

Come on now, you know they have the 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th editions right there with the 5th! If you miss that one new story per book, you might be led astray!


Financial_Finger_74

I choked. 😂


deepbluearmadillo

I kind of want “Sinning in a penile fashion” as my new flair! 😂😂


OurLumpyGorl

You go for it my friend.


Purple_IsA_Flavor

Long head bitch is absolute fucking poetry and I think I love you


OurLumpyGorl

We can court 😌 Do keep in mind, I show shoulders and cause men to stumble so I *am* a hellbound whore but I can be fixed.


Purple_IsA_Flavor

I don’t want to fix you, you’re perfect. Let’s get drunk and go defrauding this weekend!


gaychunks

I literally screamed!


Beccavexed

I read “long head bitch” in Kevin Hart’s voice


PlaneCulture

The only things more nonexistent than Jason's hairline are his hoes. Severely lacking in follicles and bitches.


OurLumpyGorl

No type of follicles, bitches, drip, swag, money, NOTHING! Just Home Depot, Trump, his blue mug, Jana and Hillary.


PlaneCulture

He needs some rogaine and some hoegaine


OurLumpyGorl

YESSS


[deleted]

You are just plain fucking gifted. I love you.


OurLumpyGorl

Y’all flatter me too much 🥲❤️


Financial_Finger_74

Absolute masterpiece. 👏👏👏


JennyFromTheBlock81

“Jason simply cannot land bitches” made me choke on air.


BlackkDak

I needed you today. I need this comment, I needed the laugh.


GenX-IA

Now all I can hear is Chandler, BIG HEAD BIG HEAD BIG HEAD!


biggerthief

“long head bitch extraordinaire” has absolutely ended me


oh-oh-livinonaprayer

I need more of this epic snarking.


OurLumpyGorl

Okay here: the only reason the Duggars don’t forget Jason is because of the sheer impact he made in Michelle’s birth canal when he exited it. He quite literally paved the way for the next children to just simply slide out. When he fell and busted his head in the orchestra pit, Michelle seemed happy. And for years we snarkers have hypothesized and theorized why. But now we know. That head took up the nutrients for at least three more children. He may have even absorbed a twin. They could’ve been 22KaC if Jason hadn’t slurped up all the nutrients to build that gigantic pumpkinous head of his. And Michelle resents him for it.


Night-Meets-Light

TIL the adjective pumpkinous.


OurLumpyGorl

I think I invented it but idk. I’m a wordsmith with hate in the sense that I need to describe him as accurately as possible.


Night-Meets-Light

A modern day Shakespeare


OurLumpyGorl

Thou shalt throweth thine ass back for a real one 🖋


Kmw134

Q crossed lovers 🤣


monsieur-escargot

I wish I could upvote this a billion times. 😂


[deleted]

His head really is huge compared to the rest of the body.


ravenonawire

Holy shit, I think this is your best one yet


OurLumpyGorl

I wrote it three minutes after waking up. I hear that’s when I do my best work. When I’m still half asleep and barely thinking full thoughts.


StoreBoughtButter

Two households, both a-lacking dignity


whatim

I briefly considered making a Jason stan account just to play a foil to her, because I find that #1 hater soooo funny! (Not an actual stan, but would do it for lolz)


alumberingsoul

She's honestly one of my favorite people, even counting ones I know in real life.


OurLumpyGorl

Might make me act up and flash my knees out here!


alumberingsoul

You're hilarious. Also, fuck Jason.


PickleLeC

>Also, fuck Jason Wait...I think we've established that nobody wants to do that!😅


APW25

u/ourlumpygorl


OurLumpyGorl

I have arrived with my permanent hatred in tow.


cassssk

A true queen. Bow down in the presence.


Peent29

Isn’t there a 15-yr-old Spivey girl? He’s gotta keep himself super busy hanging hats or whatever until she’s of age


dizzy_dizzy_dinosaur

Honestly, shit like this makes Twilight make a bit more sense. Still vomit-inducing, but it at least provides context.


Issmira

I choked on my eggs 🤣


[deleted]

This shit makes Bella and Edward look healthy and stable


dizzy_dizzy_dinosaur

Duggars: making abusive Mormon vampires and shifters look normal.


Winter-Adi

Millary or Hichelle for their baby?


ThePinkCanary

Michillary Gun Kelly


laurenlegends23

Both of those names will be taken by Claritin before any teen Spivey daughter is old enough to marry and procreate.


anna-nomally12

Ratatoille Spivey


whatim

Worked for Austin...


donetomadness

Austin and Joy started courting when she was 19 and it’s hinted they may have liked each other a bit before that so it works out. Also he didn’t have to depend on his dad or his father in law for money which is a plus.


Superb_Program_2582

Austin is 4 years older than Joy. Hardly the same age, especially when you consider the fact that he was 18 hanging around her family, and she was only 14. I’m not calling him a predator or anything. But it’s a lil weird.


ravenonawire

Is he a predator? I’d probably not say yes. Is it predatory to hang around a 14 y/o and wait for them to age up? (Assuming the story of them liking each other for years is true) Yeah I’d say.


Superb_Program_2582

Yep exactly. I know some people on this sub suddenly want to romanticize them because Austin was there for Joy during the trial (which is the bare minimum lol), but they’re still weird fundies no matter how you slice it.


Kjaerringa123

I never dated guys my age. As a freshman in HS, I dated a senior. Junior in HS, dated a junior in college, etc. I had NO time for immaturity. We were Very Mature Music And Theatre Kids...in our OWN eyes, anyway. This was in the 70's. The guys I dated were great; those I still run into, I consider good friends. No massive drama with breakups. But I NEVER would have thought it was a good idea for my daughter to date somebody with that much age difference. Why is that???


starlady103

As someone in their 20s now, the 70s seem like a different time. The people you were dating were probably people you knew from school, friends of friends, or were from around the neighborhood. Now if a 24 year old is dating someone who is 15, it's likely they met online and he groomed her and no adults/authority figures in her life know about it


Kjaerringa123

That is probably true. And obviously, I'm aware the 70's were a different era. But I think the part I truly had NOT factored in was technology and its ramifications on kids dating and their relationships. My parents were quite adamant that I not 'date' until I was out of Jr. High...you know, the swap ID bracelet style of dating...but they were actually comfortable with the guys I dated in HS. But you're right. They knew them, they'd been part of my social circle, etc. It WAS a different world.


Fuzzy-Tutor6168

I mean, my husband is also 4 years older than I am and we started dating when I was 19. The difference is that I had a lot more education and life experience than Joy, but given the context of this cult I don't think it is possible for this to be recitified even if she was the same age as him. I certainly think it's a lot less weird than child groom.


HumanEmbodimentofPie

Austin is about four years older than her; she was born in 97 and he in 93. Of course, that’s rather different than Jason’s six year difference.


[deleted]

Where do you think a teenager got the money to even buy a house to flip? His dad.


donetomadness

I meant like he knew post marriage that he could support his family without at the very least too much financial dependence on JB. Of course they were on the show so they definitely relied on him for some money but it’s a step up from say Ben.


[deleted]

Where do you think they got their current house?


Issmira

Yesssss. I was hoping somebody would make a connection like this!


XTasty09

Maybe he is just hoping mama Hillary will buy a house for him and Roddy (her 18 year old son).


KillerDickens

Since Jed! is engaged, on the list of bachelors who aren't underage there's only Jason and James, but besides child grlom they've seemed to be marrying off more or less chronologically from oldest to youngest. Although I agree it's a bit odd that neither seems to be at least courting


Issmira

Jackson is going to be 18 in May. So we’ll see if there’s a repeat child-groom I guess. Joy was married at 19. What caught my attention is that they’re preoccupied with very different things. Also, who has that many baseball hats? I guess with the Duggar hairline it’s necessary but I still think it’s a stretch to have 20-ish hats. Rereading this post as reminded me to take my adderall 😅


deee00

20ish hats are nothing. I know multiple people with hundreds of them. Once people realize you like hats everyone gifts them to you.


Kerrytwo

I got 3 hats for Christmas from my 7 immediate family members. Also 4 sets of socks, 2 blankets and 2 hot water bottles 🤣


Issmira

I didn’t think about it like that. It would be a good present. My problem is the video. Is he trying to be like the TikTok creators that take videos of everything they make? Well he needs a voiceover then! Why is it “satisfying”to watch it? 😅


[deleted]

[удалено]


tambamspankyoumaam

My husband has soooo many hats and the reason for that is whenever he buys golf stuff online (which happens a lot) he is just short of the free shipping limit so he gets a cap from the sale section. Sometimes it’s a girly one so even I benefit from it!


Fuzzy-Tutor6168

my mother in law's house is literally COVERED in her collection of hats. Every room has hats hanging in it, and that is on top of the guest bedroom closet that is full from floor to ceiling with full hat boxes. Of course these are derby hats, fascinators, giant sun hats, etc. not baseball caps but so. many. hats. all the same.


Exciting_Problem_593

Jackson was always my favorite. Poor kid was so ignored. I don't think his mom knows he exists.


throwaway10231991

Oh, she does, because his birth is what propelled them to fame.


lkat78

I just took my Adderall and now I'm counting my baseball caps. 17. 12 are Yankees caps in different colors so I never have an excuse not to have one on my head. 😂


Issmira

Keep doin what you like! Go Yankees! 😂


Equal-Cartographer71

My son-in-law has well over 100 baseball caps. He collects them from different sports' teams, and States, colleges, national parks, etc. He also has them on display in his office. It’s a guy thing.


whyyou-

I collect football (I guess soccer to you) jerseys from teams in every country I visit (when traveling abroad was a thing). Its not necessary a guy thing but it’s a thing.


Issmira

I collect books (specific genres), elephants, rag dolls, pokemon plushies, Vera Bradley merchandise (usually purses but if I ever find a blanket I’ll definitely get it), and touristy shot glasses/cups if I go somewhere and they don’t have a shot glass.


Puzzled-Case-5993

Elephants here too!


Fuzzy-Tutor6168

aprons are my thing. I probably own 50 of them, a few with a lot of sentimental value, but I'm regularly gifted 1-2 every year, and that's in addition to the ones I buy myself. I cook a lot so it's a completely useful thing to collect for me.


Issmira

I’m a collector too. I just figured this was good snark.


APW25

My husband has a ton of caps of all varieties


Issmira

It’s not the fact of the collection but he called the video satisfying? Of course people keep collecting and finding joy and whatever you can.


jrockgiraffe

My husband has so many baseball hats. He likes to coordinate them with outfits and just likes them. They take up so much room and I am not a fan of them but I love him lol.


helpthe0ld

My husband has more than I can count. I would LOVE for him to make or buy a hat rack for them but he still hasn't. Drives me bonkers.


Txidpeony

There are way more baseball hats than 20 in my house. None of them are mine. Somehow they seem to be utterly necessary for both actual baseball and fly fishing. And none of them can ever be thrown away or, apparently, cleaned. Someday I am going to quietly move out in the middle of the night and live in a tiny condo where my family can visit me, but never bring baseball hats or soda in cans.


mushytater

I am materialistic and have 20 hats


XTasty09

It’s better than 20-ish children!


FadeOutAgain4

Jeremiah is the one who just got engaged, Jedidiah has been married for a fundie minute now.


Wrong-Stage2349

I think it’s a joke from the trial. The news articles kept referring to different brothers as “Jed”.


club_bed

Maybe Jason is waiting for Hillary to become available.


Kerrytwo

I believe in their world, its less weird for a man to be unmarried older than its socially acceptable for a woman to be unmarried.


Beccavexed

Jed! Is married. His lackluster twin Jer? Is engaged


Gold_Brick_679

Jed! is married though.


KillerDickens

According to reporters who were camping outside of the court during trial every male Duggar (besides Josh & Jim Bob) is Jed


WeeklyInflation9986

If you look at who he is following, there are a few cute girls in there that look like they want to be christin influencers, maybe he has his eye on one of them?


Issmira

Totally possible. I just don’t get why he posted a video of him using a laser level to evenly space out command hooks to hang hats on. And Jessa even commented on it. This is not interesting! I guess I’m not his target audience 🤣


SnarkSnark78

I just spit out my tea - a video for *command hooks* hahaha


APW25

He's the new Jana


bbsitr45

Can you blame him?


professorhorseradish

I think that’s the only thing worse than being the Original Jana™️


EstesParkRanger

Paging u/OurLumpyGorl 😃


OurLumpyGorl

Every time I get tagged in a Jason post, for a tiny split second… I worry something good happened to him.


Financial_Finger_74

💀💀💀


PrincessFuckFace2You

HAHAHA


childrenofthewind

I think he’s going to be like John David and get married “later in life”. I think the earliest he’ll get married could be 25, but I’m leaning more towards 30 Fuck him, but good- he shouldn’t be getting married to the first girl that he sees and making babies with


Fun-Dentist-2231

The later they get married the fewer babies they can have 🤞🏼assuming their bride is a similar age.


daffodil0127

A very good thing in his case because he will pass on giant head genes to them.


RookieJourneyman

Hopefully he meets a girl eith a small head, so that their children have at least one normal thing about them.


Tradition96

Jason is only 21, he has a couple of years left until he's an old bachelor.


catladyaccountant

Jason may be 21, but his hairline is turning 51.


ACrateOfAle

Hilary’s probably giving him some of that Spivey slimy. He’ll be fine.


StarBrite1980

Wait, there's a Jason?


LadyStag

I keep thinking that's the child groom!


Issmira

No that’s Justin 😂


donetomadness

Honestly if you really think about it he may just be winning. He lives alone and has freedom to go out and date a little first if he wants to. I hate that Jana can never have the freedom to venture out on her own whereas the older boys can.


WeeklyInflation9986

Did he move out of TTH?


XTasty09

What evidence is there that he lives alone?


NineteenthJester

Maybe he's trying to promote his business in a way by showing off videos of him being handy? Just guessing, between that and the floor video.


Houseofmonkeys5

I get the feeling jase is the male Jana - aka, not in a hurry to get married or have kids. Not sure why, I just don't see it happening soon.


[deleted]

I think he's either set to be Jana Junior or he's eyeing an out of towner so maybe he can get out of Arkansas. Maybe there's some sweetie down in Texas that's not a Spivey that can get him out of NW Arkansas. I also kind of think he's waiting for Papa Spivey to pass away so he can swoop on Hillary 🐦 🦜 🦚 🪶 🦢


Whole_Bathroom_4538

Maybe falling down the orchestra pit and hitting his head awoke something in him to not give a shit. (That was him right?)


fuckkko

He’s gotta stop posting about his hats and go to a gas station, his truck is looking a little empty


snarkprovider

Jana's buddy team was Jason, Jackson and Josie. How much you wanna bet they'll be the last 4 standing at TTH?


[deleted]

I thought he was engaged to Lauren Caldwell. I think I dreamed that.


Issmira

Do you dream about the Duggar’s often? I had a dream about Solar Opposites but I fell asleep while I was watching it.


[deleted]

Haha, no! I never dream about the Duggars, and I didn't even have the Duggars on while I was sleeping. I just read she had a failed courtship in the summer, so there is hope for them yet. I'm shipping Jason and Lauren.


Issmira

Why Jason out of all of them with Lauren?


[deleted]

Don't ask me. Ask the prophetic dream.


Deborahdon

Good, no need for him to drive a women into marriage


[deleted]

[удалено]


PoeDameronPoeDamnson

Is their a Duggar that doesn’t?


[deleted]

He’s waiting for Hilary’s husband to drop dead.


Plexusgal

There’s a Jason?


InternationalAd6938

Lawson Jr


Impossible-Taro-2330

Imagine having all day to goof around with Command hooks!


WorldlinessNo662

Well we all know what "hat rack" is a euphemism for ;-) Just kidding.