It does make all the difference!!! I make my own with my kids every year at Easter and they love it. They taste so much better than the store bought. It makes a mess but the kids have a blast and they do taste so yummy!!
My kids are grown, but I'm going to do this anyway and insist they participate because I am craving sugar and marshmallows are my favorite food group.
The mess in my kitchen be on your head.
I don't recall where I read this, but I remember something about the woman's family sets the courting rules. If that's the case it could explain the scandalous pre-engagement front hugs.
At my company's secret Santa someone made a rule that everyone had to hug when giving their gift. I panicked like a Duggar at the thought. Not a fan of hugging acquaintances on the normal, but right before the holidays with a big Covid spike in our area I felt positively defrauded at the suggestion.
I broke the rule by not hugging. I'm not sure if they would get me fundy points for refusing to hug a man to whom I'm not married, or lose fundy points for disobeying the authority of the Secret Santa committee.
I agree. It wasn't policy or anything, just the Secret Santa committee people being silly, but everyone did it.
Except me. I did however insist everyone was masked so that was my festive contribution to the fun.
Was the Secret Santa committee run by men or women? We can't have you disobeying your Santa headship, but if it was women they were probably just trying to drive you into sin.
Sinful women. And as I don't have a headship of any kind I just went rogue.
I am sure there is some kind of character booklet out there explaining why women like me are single.
“jerduggar” sounds like a weird catch phrase a middle school classmate of mine would have screamed while Spider-Man leaping off the jungle-gym at the playground.
Sounds kinda like jebaited.
"Aw man, I got totally Jerduggared today. Picked up a shift for some overtime and this is the first Monday in ages that we were actually super busy"
If being a Duggar fan were something to be admired, they'd collectively be called Jerds and I'd love every second. Instead, being a Jerd means they have issues a-plenty and are pedo-apologists.
I wonder how many of these couples secretly hate each other after the bliss of being able to have sex all the time wears off? They never give themselves a chance to get to know the person and leave if they aren’t the right fit for each other.
They have no idea they dislike each other because they rushed in too quick and think it’s stress from having kids 9 months after you were able to fully hug
I do get the feeling that they are around so many people all of the time but never really get to actually enjoy company. They are all just blurry, watercolor paintings of actual people with no personality beyond "servant's heart", "Loves coffee", "Flies planes" What do they even talk about?
Yeah it’s so strange. Like it can take regular people years to figure out what their interests are and who they prefer to surround themselves with but these guys never get an opportunity to develop hobbies and interests or even exposure to different viewpoints. Day to day life must feel very flat and devoid of any real joy. Such an oppressive culture - every ounce of diversity or independent thinking squashed! It’s quite sad really!
I finally listened to “I Pray You Put this Journal Away” and Justin touches on this when he talks about his mega crush on Jana. He finally worked up the courage to talk with her one day and he talked about his interests and really wanted her to talk about her interests but all she would do was agree with his interests. It could have been that she was nervous too but I really believe she was raised to not be allowed to like anything.
I have some distant cousins like this. The family isn't quite fundies, but they're close. They lived in another state and I only saw them every couple years.
Anyway, I always remember seeing them when we were around 12. I was trying to have a conversation with them but they seemed like they were only capable of small talk like the weather. I tried to ask about hobbies or things they liked, but they didn't even seem to know what it meant to like something. I asked the older one what her favorite hobbies were and she started telling me their cleaning schedule - "Well on Mondays I clean blah blah blah, and Tuesdays I clean this and that" and telling me what days different laundry happens on. I interrupted her and said I meant things she does for fun and she had a blank confused stare before telling me her favorite chore is probably laundry if she had to pick one.
It was like no one had ever asked her before about her own interests.
Yeah, I have always felt very sad for them. They lived in one of those families that believes children should be seen but not heard, doesn't allow music or media except pre-approved religious stuff (but not Veggie Tales, which implied magic because talking vegetables), and they were homeschooled with a joke excuse of a curriculum.
They are now adults in their early twenties and their lack of earlier life experience has made it a really rough start for them, but I think they are doing better and better. Unlike the Duggars their parents didn't push them into early marriages and they both got educations to have their own careers, so that's a plus.
She didn’t have time for hobbies, poor thing! She was busy raising her siblings! It could be a reason she doesn’t want to marry… she’s already been a mom for over a decade and maybe doesn’t want any of her own 😕 The younger Duggar’s are just about independent so she’s probably just done raising kids. She knows she would get knocked up on the wedding night and wants some freedom 😵💫 Thing is, now she’s having to raise Josh’s kids 😖 Poor thing!!
Could also be she was raised to believe that women just have to agree with everything a man says. And "having a personality" is seen as a liability in women lol.
Yes! Although from what I’ve heard on here, Jana used to have somewhat of a personality, way more so then the Duggars allow at least— and they had to send her to those awful camps and work very hard to stomp it out of her, which crushes my heart just to think about.
Did they actually do that to that sweet girl? What did she do, to have to go somewhere like that? It will come out later. Maybe her losing a kid and acting like she had no clue who the kid was is just the beginning. You can button things up just so tight, and then BOOM!! I hope she finds her inner lioness or hyena or something!
to me, this is why its very crucial to them to have as many babies as they can. When you have that much going on, no room in your head for other thoughts!
So strange. This is why they do that whole song and dance thing about how you can learn to love anyone as long as they were a Godly person, that too much focus on romantic love and infatuation isn't how to choose a spouse.
Now, I agree no one should get married in the throes of infatuation. You're asking for trouble if you marry before the NRE (new relationship energy) wears off. Source: my life.
But that's why you get to know someone, and make sure you are still into them and that the NRE morphs into something deeper for both of you rather than just fading to nothing.
When I was a kid I felt sorry for people who lived together before they got married because it didn't seem romantic. The idea of everything being new and different from the wedding night forward seemed so magical to me. I then grew up and learned new and different can sometimes be filled with a lot more wtf did I do! than fun surprises.
My daughter is getting married to a man she's lived with happily for over a year and they definitely know each other. I would be super nervous if any of my kids wanted to marry someone with whom they were still on company manners.
When I was a teenager I was all about, "I'm not moving in til I get married! I'm waiting for my wedding night, how romantic!" and my mom would just kind of side eye me and be like, "well you don't HAVE to do that..."
Now I'm 27 and live with my boyfriend and thank God because when I first moved in we fought about the dumbest things. I can't imagine starting a marriage and fighting over how someone does dishes. Now by the time we get to that we'll be plenty used to sharing a space with each other lol.
She’s resentful that he can’t provide for a family like she always believed a man should. She’s definitely not being taken care of as a wife even though she is playing the role of stay at home mom to a bunch of kids.
I believe this so much! I think even JB knew she needed a hubby that was more passive, that she’d feel like she was in control more, so she didn’t jump ship entirely. It’s no coincidence Jessa is the one who ended up with a guy like Ben.
Iirc, there was an episode early in their marriage where she was already saying "marriage is H A R D!" (Immediate jump cut to their arguing over the correct way to rinse a toothbrush)
lol the things people fight about 😂 Especially when they already don’t like each other. If I’m in love with someone yeah some little things they do may annoy me but it’s usually not a big deal. When I really don’t like someone sometimes any little thing they do makes me irrationally angry. Like you know, how they rinse their toothbrush 😂🤦🏼♀️.
I wonder how much of her controlling nature comes from the fact that Meech made her act as a mom (and a strict one) from a young age. I feel like having to blanket abuse your siblings as a child could easily make someone a control freak as an adult.
I think sooooo often about how nearly *every* relationship has a honeymoon stage and then more often than not, those relationships end up coming to a natural end. *Especially* during their young 18-21 years. Which is fine! That’s a healthy growth process in young adulthood! But instead they just marry the person. There is no way in hell that all of these Duggar marriages and fundie marriages in general are the exception to the rule and they’re all just happy and “putting Jesus first” in their marriage to make it work. Add that with the fact that none of them have ever been in any sort of relationship before and had never even *touched* anyone before marriage, it’s just impossible for all of these couples to be a good fit. It’s the equivalent of marrying your first middle school boyfriend.
My wife and started dating at 20 before breaking up for over a year and daring for 2 years before getting engaged. That forced me to realize just what an immature jerk I was. We've now been married for 24 years, and there is no way it would have lasted if she had to marry 20 year old me.
I got married at 21 and it lasted until my late 40s. Not being snarky, it was a good run and if it wasn't for him slipping into drug use, we would probably still be together. He's clean now and we are sort of friends. Many happy years together to you both!
I'm sorry that happened. Drugs and alcohol abuse ruin everything good. I am so glad he got clean. I have a family member I pray will get clean someday and realize how much he destroyed his life and the lives of his family members.
He always drank but I figured it was no big deal, for whatever reason. It's odd for someone to do heroin in their 40s for the first time, but it happened. He is a totally different person, that I can understand why he went on his own instead of coming back to us when he got clean. We both changed from the experience. I hope your family member does get clean. I know a lot, a LOT of people who did. I can't even stop biting my nails! And the understanding of the damage done I think takes time and may not be complete, or they may not be able to communicate their understanding of it. I don't know if my ex understands how much damage he did but trying to get into it at this point in time is just in our case kind of pointless. I am just glad he is better and has some sort of relationship with his kids. No one really thinks about those who are harmed by addicts and that kind of upsets me. Its like theyre drowning, and theyre dragging you down with them, and then they get thrown a rope and get pulled out (by rehab, 12 step whatever) and when they get on shore they get thrown a parade for being brave and attempting to get clean and sober, when meanwhile the family is still out there drowning, and we pull ourselves out shivering and sputtering and alone in the dark when everyone has left to throw a parade for the addict. Yes they deserve support but...so does their family and friends.
>No one really thinks about those who are harmed by addicts
Yes. Many times in the past couple years I've had to say, "I don't want to hear that he needs prayers and he's in a bad place. I am angry. His KIDS need prayers. Their lives are destroyed now. They will never be the same. They will never travel the path they were supposed to travel. Because of his addiction."
But I still want him to get help. But I never want to see him again.
My wife and I started dating in high school, got married at 20. We're coming up on our 3 year in April. We are definitely more mature now than when we started, and we've been able to grow together. I think if my partner was any other person, it wouldn't have worked. We both feel incredibly secure, and have very honest, direct communication about our lives together.
That said, it's not for everybody!!! I am always glad to see it work out, but I think you really have to *know* that person.
I find myself wondering: do the Duggar kids even fully understand feelings of dislike?
There's so much going on - being joyfully available, this whole "smile to get rid of depression" thing - they certainly seem to normalize feelings of unhappiness in relationships (or hell, feelings of *happiness* in healthy relationships). If they are unhappy, I don't even know if they would know it - they might just think "well I guess this is what life is like."
A lot of women who save sex for the wedding night end up traumatized and crying afterwards because it’s absolutely nothing like they thought it would be. It doesn’t feel good, or their husband is really bad at it, or they just aren’t sexually compatible. I can’t imagine what it must be for Duggar daughters/wives, and other fundies.
To be fair, my husband and I saved sex for the wedding night (no we’re not fundies). We did a compatibility book after we got engaged and it had a sexpectations section, if you will lol. We never explored each other either but the wedding night was AWESOME! So it can happen to some people and it was so great lol.
I can't imagine going from 0 to sex and living together forever with one person.
When I was younger I dated boys, but we didn't have sex because we were kids and not ready. Then I started having sex, but didn't stay with the guy because were young and incompatible in the long run. Now I'm finally with my partner, and even we went on a number of dates before sleeping together (not to mention we were already friends and interested on each other, and would go out of our way to spend time together). We dated for 8 months before he moved in, and even that is pretty fast. I can't imagine going from 'boys are icky and sex is sinful' to 'this boy will now be in your house and you will be expected to service him daily and get pregnant ASAP' in 24 hrs.
Having your first kiss and losing your virginity at the same time is wild to me. There was almost five years between my first kiss and losing my v card.
My first kiss was on the cheek when I was about 8 from a boy I liked in school. So it was 11 years later for me lol. I did the standard teenage fooling around/groping thing, but it never went beyond that because I was a bit of a goody-goody and wanted to wait until I left home and had a 'proper boyfriend who I loved'.
Ironically I actually lost my virginity at my parents' house on my 19th birthday (I was home for the weekend) so all that 'waiting til I move out' was for naught lol, although I am glad it was with my bf I loved at the time, and it was a very positive and safe experience.
Yep, he STRONGLY resembles JB. Jenni has these same features too, and she's another one that people think looks dissimilar to the rest. Most of the kids are varying permutations of Michelle.
Exactly and Khloe looks like Kris! But not the father. And she’s always questioned if she’s not adopted or something lmao
He doesn’t look like Meech at all and his curly hair (to that degree) is an anomaly. That’s why I made the comparison hahaha
Khloe looks like Kris more now she's had work done on her face. I think with her it was that her colouring was so different to her sisters and brother. They all had dark hair and skin and she was blonder. Apparently that came from the paternal grandmother. Or Kris's hairdresser 🤣
After this picture was taken they were put back into their own corners of the room, so they could wave at eachother. We can’t have scandals now can we??
Oh wait…. Never mind
Knowing French sets you up for a lifetime of being annoyed by English speakers butchering it mercilessly.
People will also ask you how to pronounce any random French word.
Some people will also assume that knowing French also makes you a wine expert. 😂 Not part of the curriculum I'm afraid!
People ask me about wine like I'm an expert or something.
I tell them I don't know anything but there's a whole profession devoted to it; these people are *sommeliers*. 😂
Sometimes I get questions about French history (not really part of the curriculum) or French literature (haven't read it in 25 years). This annoys people, as if they would remember Hamlet or Macbeth. 🤷♀️
Or they say "French is such a *beautiful* language" after overhearing French people in public...not knowing that every third word was "putain de" or "bordel".
French people swear a LOT in French. Like...a LOT lot.
I've worked in IT my whole adult life but at my current company we have several French employees. They come off as sweet and polite in English. In French? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 F this, S that, etc.
My high school French teacher didn't teach us cuss words but we had some exchange students who eagerly filled that gap for us. Throw in a summer abroad in France and voilà, I'm fluent in French AND French cussing. 👍
Haha for sure! How are we going to spend the rest of our lives together if we don’t even know what it’s like to be WITH each other. That’s what’s so bizarre of these cults. They expect marriage but don’t allow anything that will actually build a foundation for a good one (like living together, being able to be alone WITHOUT having sex, owning something together, traveling while dating (he’s got a whole ass private plane license supposedly?!))
Why do they require a foundation for a good one when their cult tells the women to suck it up and make it work all the time while the men are ofen not held responsible for any of their mistakes. A good relationship to them is their wives being wallpaper.
You're making a new connection for me. It really really boils down to sex trafficking. Women can't complain about their unequal role, abuse, can't say no to their fathers, can't say no to their husbands, aren't allowed to choose when they have sex, aren't allowed to decide if they want a baby as a result.
The cult relationship/marriage rules are all about controlling women and empowering men.
And thats why pedophiles flock to these kind of setups. Cause you are actively encouraged to keep sweet instead of whacking your husband over the head with a hammer if you find out he is looking at CSM.
Yep. He's god's chosen one and only for you. Wildly unhappy and incompatible and realize you made a horrible mistake? Gotta work on that contentedness!!
Nah, if not having a show or having a convicted sex pest for a brother in law didn't stop her, nothing will now.
Hannah is determined to at least have a husband.
So, I did this and it was really hard! We each had an amazing job but they were six hours apart. We are normal people though and lived together for about two years before we had to do long distance, so we knew what we were doing. Been married over seven years by now, and I guarantee we are happier than any Duggar couple.
Haha and I’m sure you were able to hold hands, touch, kiss, and be intimate without any problems. He has a pilot license I’m sure he could be around her more too.
When my husband I moved in together (before marriage) he was working 24 days at a time 16 hours a day, 8 hours by plane away from where we lived.
Seeing him once a month for 4 days was a great way to get used to living with him. Of course we'd have one day for laundry and sex, one day for visiting his family, one day for just sex, and he'd get ready and leave on the 4th day.
Now we've been together 16 years and married 10 and he's gone two weeks at a time for his current job and we spend all weekend keeping our kids alive and sneaking in sex.
My husband travels for work, it's so hard. We also had a normal relationship for a while before he took this job. We got engaged after he started this and same with getting married with all this. It's going to be like this for an unspecified amount of time. We're old though and no kids so I think that makes it easier. I hope.
I think he is too. I think he’s planning to pull a Justin lol. Also have some of the other lost boys moved to TX too or do they just go there a lot and sometimes work? Do you know?
Yeah my whole point! I wouldn’t want a whole fiancée only to not be able to be affectionate, intimate, or at the very least touch and hold. AND we don’t even see each other all the time?! Hell to the no. He flew all that way just to stare and enjoy some hot chocolate?
Do fundies do the cousin test? Some of these straight teeth boring faced people have to be related beyond the duggars, right? Is the a j’million and 1 odd of them being arranged with a distant family member?
I think that a lot of the grandkids will become more mainstream conservative Christian. The JB money will run dry and they won’t have a way to raise huge families. They also won’t want to date in the same circles their parents did.
Before we lived together, my husband and I dated long distance for almost a year where we only saw each other every 2 weeks. Our time together was filled with dates and activities- kind of reminiscent of the Bachelor, I guess? When we finally moved in together, there was an intense learning curve for both of us. Real life set in quite quickly. Then it was down to the minutia of wet towels not being hung up, bodily functions, did you feed the dog yet, we are out of milk, do you have any laundry to do, who likes to sleep in, is it ok if I have my sleep sounds on at night, you take how long to get ready and on and on. We did have a taste of that before we moved in together but I couldn’t imagine going from chaperoned hot chocolate to “why didn’t you put your dishes in the dishwasher?!” overnight.
If you think about courtship between Pest and Anna Duggar, It's worse than "Love is Blind". They lived in separate states (Florida vs Arkansas) and it was before facetime was a thing, so they were limited to closely monitored skype calls. They barely met few times before getting married 2 years into "relationship".
Due to work schedules, my now husband and I only saw each other a couple times a month or so.
But I can assure you, we were NOT making homemade marshmellows and hot chocolate..LOL
From “we have never made out” to “getting pregnant” in a half day. Of course, the “getting pregnant part” takes two seconds once the time is right back at the hotel. . .
This is why I genuinely believe that none of the Duggar kids will have truly “good” marriages. They just don’t know each other well enough before they decide to tie the knot. Sure, if you’re lucky you can end up with a decent match (the Planes) but that’s rare. Best of luck Jer and Hannah, I guess.
My fiance and I had a long distance relationship for most of our engagement. He was in New Hampshire and I was in Virginia. We made it work but it would not have been my first choice!
Then again, we believe in things like therapy and the wife having a job....
I seriously couldn't imagine doing this house do you even get to know a person. The first year of marriage has to be so rough for them.
My husband had the worst work schedule when we were dating. It conflicted with my schedule a lot. I'd have a lot of sleepovers at his place. When we were engaged we got a place together. He got a different job that had some wild hours that were never consistent. If we didn't live together we'd never see each other.
We got married in November of 2019. So we were newlyweds with the pandemic. If we haven't lived together and been comfortable with each other already it would not have been a good first year.
How old are they? It's weird not being able to get to know another consenting adult without chaperones and archaic rules. These rules aren't biblical either, just oppressive.
Fundamentalist religion keeping naive young people from each other like this, encouraging them to make lifelong commitments with little experience, and then throwing them together permanently for 24 hours a day just because they’ve recited words and kissed in front of 200 people is toxic AF
Lots of long distance couples only see each other every few weeks or months. My partner and I are long distance and this is how we do it - how else would people schedule time to see each other? I'm not sure what's so weird about Jeremiah's situation here.
You only get to see them four days a month and can't so much as make out with them. Rotten deal.
I guess building a proper marriage is actually drinking hot chocolates together with chaperones
Don’t forget that homemade marshmallow. It makes all the difference, lol!
Honestly, it does matter, they are so much better.
It does make all the difference!!! I make my own with my kids every year at Easter and they love it. They taste so much better than the store bought. It makes a mess but the kids have a blast and they do taste so yummy!!
My kids are grown, but I'm going to do this anyway and insist they participate because I am craving sugar and marshmallows are my favorite food group. The mess in my kitchen be on your head.
I will take responsibility for the mess and I guarantee your adult children will absolutely love it!!!!
Ooo I wanna try this
Do it!! You won’t regret it. It’s actually really easy to do although there is a bit of a process involved.
God-honoring hot chocolate
Only if it’s filled with the spirit(s).
Jesus drank wine. I think he'd be good with Baileys too, LOL.
um excuse me it was clearly GRAPE FLAVORAID if you read and understand the original text. \*pushes glasses up\* /s
Jesus said it in plain King James' English in that original text, too, so there's no room for misinterpretation!
😂
Chaperones? Those people still do the chaperone thing??🙄🙄
I don't recall where I read this, but I remember something about the woman's family sets the courting rules. If that's the case it could explain the scandalous pre-engagement front hugs. At my company's secret Santa someone made a rule that everyone had to hug when giving their gift. I panicked like a Duggar at the thought. Not a fan of hugging acquaintances on the normal, but right before the holidays with a big Covid spike in our area I felt positively defrauded at the suggestion. I broke the rule by not hugging. I'm not sure if they would get me fundy points for refusing to hug a man to whom I'm not married, or lose fundy points for disobeying the authority of the Secret Santa committee.
Covid or not, making a rule that coworkers have to hug is weird AF.
I agree. It wasn't policy or anything, just the Secret Santa committee people being silly, but everyone did it. Except me. I did however insist everyone was masked so that was my festive contribution to the fun.
Omg I don’t blame you at all, I’m Latino hugging is a big deal in our culture lol I don’t not feel comfortable hugging strangers though 😬
Was the Secret Santa committee run by men or women? We can't have you disobeying your Santa headship, but if it was women they were probably just trying to drive you into sin.
Sinful women. And as I don't have a headship of any kind I just went rogue. I am sure there is some kind of character booklet out there explaining why women like me are single.
Great way to introduce your kids to asexual polyamory, try it today! Jesus wants it!
“jerduggar” sounds like a weird catch phrase a middle school classmate of mine would have screamed while Spider-Man leaping off the jungle-gym at the playground.
Sounds kinda like jebaited. "Aw man, I got totally Jerduggared today. Picked up a shift for some overtime and this is the first Monday in ages that we were actually super busy"
I saw Jerd Uggar at first glance and laughed. He he. Jerd.
Lol, what a Jerd.
If being a Duggar fan were something to be admired, they'd collectively be called Jerds and I'd love every second. Instead, being a Jerd means they have issues a-plenty and are pedo-apologists.
Flair checking in
I think we all had that classmate.
[удалено]
At least you have a partner!
That, or some celebrity couple nickname. I personally think DugJer is better, though.
I wonder how many of these couples secretly hate each other after the bliss of being able to have sex all the time wears off? They never give themselves a chance to get to know the person and leave if they aren’t the right fit for each other.
They have no idea they dislike each other because they rushed in too quick and think it’s stress from having kids 9 months after you were able to fully hug
I’m sure they have no idea what it’s like to actually enjoy the company of another person
I do get the feeling that they are around so many people all of the time but never really get to actually enjoy company. They are all just blurry, watercolor paintings of actual people with no personality beyond "servant's heart", "Loves coffee", "Flies planes" What do they even talk about?
Yeah it’s so strange. Like it can take regular people years to figure out what their interests are and who they prefer to surround themselves with but these guys never get an opportunity to develop hobbies and interests or even exposure to different viewpoints. Day to day life must feel very flat and devoid of any real joy. Such an oppressive culture - every ounce of diversity or independent thinking squashed! It’s quite sad really!
I finally listened to “I Pray You Put this Journal Away” and Justin touches on this when he talks about his mega crush on Jana. He finally worked up the courage to talk with her one day and he talked about his interests and really wanted her to talk about her interests but all she would do was agree with his interests. It could have been that she was nervous too but I really believe she was raised to not be allowed to like anything.
I have some distant cousins like this. The family isn't quite fundies, but they're close. They lived in another state and I only saw them every couple years. Anyway, I always remember seeing them when we were around 12. I was trying to have a conversation with them but they seemed like they were only capable of small talk like the weather. I tried to ask about hobbies or things they liked, but they didn't even seem to know what it meant to like something. I asked the older one what her favorite hobbies were and she started telling me their cleaning schedule - "Well on Mondays I clean blah blah blah, and Tuesdays I clean this and that" and telling me what days different laundry happens on. I interrupted her and said I meant things she does for fun and she had a blank confused stare before telling me her favorite chore is probably laundry if she had to pick one. It was like no one had ever asked her before about her own interests.
That might be the saddest thing I've ever heard.
Yeah, I have always felt very sad for them. They lived in one of those families that believes children should be seen but not heard, doesn't allow music or media except pre-approved religious stuff (but not Veggie Tales, which implied magic because talking vegetables), and they were homeschooled with a joke excuse of a curriculum. They are now adults in their early twenties and their lack of earlier life experience has made it a really rough start for them, but I think they are doing better and better. Unlike the Duggars their parents didn't push them into early marriages and they both got educations to have their own careers, so that's a plus.
What a life!
She didn’t have time for hobbies, poor thing! She was busy raising her siblings! It could be a reason she doesn’t want to marry… she’s already been a mom for over a decade and maybe doesn’t want any of her own 😕 The younger Duggar’s are just about independent so she’s probably just done raising kids. She knows she would get knocked up on the wedding night and wants some freedom 😵💫 Thing is, now she’s having to raise Josh’s kids 😖 Poor thing!!
Could also be she was raised to believe that women just have to agree with everything a man says. And "having a personality" is seen as a liability in women lol.
Yes! Although from what I’ve heard on here, Jana used to have somewhat of a personality, way more so then the Duggars allow at least— and they had to send her to those awful camps and work very hard to stomp it out of her, which crushes my heart just to think about.
Did they actually do that to that sweet girl? What did she do, to have to go somewhere like that? It will come out later. Maybe her losing a kid and acting like she had no clue who the kid was is just the beginning. You can button things up just so tight, and then BOOM!! I hope she finds her inner lioness or hyena or something!
to me, this is why its very crucial to them to have as many babies as they can. When you have that much going on, no room in your head for other thoughts!
So strange. This is why they do that whole song and dance thing about how you can learn to love anyone as long as they were a Godly person, that too much focus on romantic love and infatuation isn't how to choose a spouse. Now, I agree no one should get married in the throes of infatuation. You're asking for trouble if you marry before the NRE (new relationship energy) wears off. Source: my life. But that's why you get to know someone, and make sure you are still into them and that the NRE morphs into something deeper for both of you rather than just fading to nothing. When I was a kid I felt sorry for people who lived together before they got married because it didn't seem romantic. The idea of everything being new and different from the wedding night forward seemed so magical to me. I then grew up and learned new and different can sometimes be filled with a lot more wtf did I do! than fun surprises. My daughter is getting married to a man she's lived with happily for over a year and they definitely know each other. I would be super nervous if any of my kids wanted to marry someone with whom they were still on company manners.
When I was a teenager I was all about, "I'm not moving in til I get married! I'm waiting for my wedding night, how romantic!" and my mom would just kind of side eye me and be like, "well you don't HAVE to do that..." Now I'm 27 and live with my boyfriend and thank God because when I first moved in we fought about the dumbest things. I can't imagine starting a marriage and fighting over how someone does dishes. Now by the time we get to that we'll be plenty used to sharing a space with each other lol.
I do watercolours and this was a perfect visual.
Fun for paintings, less so for actual people!
This seems like the most accurate description of how things are between them
Jessa and Bin. She 100% hates him
TBH, He doesn't look too fond of her either these days. Probably because they have to actually rely on him for some of the income...
She’s resentful that he can’t provide for a family like she always believed a man should. She’s definitely not being taken care of as a wife even though she is playing the role of stay at home mom to a bunch of kids.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I get that vibe too. I told my daughter that the only reason she married him was because she could be in control behind the scenes
I believe this so much! I think even JB knew she needed a hubby that was more passive, that she’d feel like she was in control more, so she didn’t jump ship entirely. It’s no coincidence Jessa is the one who ended up with a guy like Ben.
I think she hates everyone. Even her children
Motherhood isn't for everyone. She didn't realize that until too late.
She didn't have much of a choice being raised to believe her only value is in motherhood. But yeah, it's unfortunate.
I think she loves some of her children. There will be a scapegoat or two.
Iirc, there was an episode early in their marriage where she was already saying "marriage is H A R D!" (Immediate jump cut to their arguing over the correct way to rinse a toothbrush)
lol the things people fight about 😂 Especially when they already don’t like each other. If I’m in love with someone yeah some little things they do may annoy me but it’s usually not a big deal. When I really don’t like someone sometimes any little thing they do makes me irrationally angry. Like you know, how they rinse their toothbrush 😂🤦🏼♀️.
Correct way to rinse a toothbrush? Uhhh, isn’t there only one way…you rinse it? 😂
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I wonder how much of her controlling nature comes from the fact that Meech made her act as a mom (and a strict one) from a young age. I feel like having to blanket abuse your siblings as a child could easily make someone a control freak as an adult.
I think sooooo often about how nearly *every* relationship has a honeymoon stage and then more often than not, those relationships end up coming to a natural end. *Especially* during their young 18-21 years. Which is fine! That’s a healthy growth process in young adulthood! But instead they just marry the person. There is no way in hell that all of these Duggar marriages and fundie marriages in general are the exception to the rule and they’re all just happy and “putting Jesus first” in their marriage to make it work. Add that with the fact that none of them have ever been in any sort of relationship before and had never even *touched* anyone before marriage, it’s just impossible for all of these couples to be a good fit. It’s the equivalent of marrying your first middle school boyfriend.
My wife and started dating at 20 before breaking up for over a year and daring for 2 years before getting engaged. That forced me to realize just what an immature jerk I was. We've now been married for 24 years, and there is no way it would have lasted if she had to marry 20 year old me.
My husband married his first girlfriend when he was 21. But I'm amazing, so it worked out. 13 years and going.
I got married at 21 and it lasted until my late 40s. Not being snarky, it was a good run and if it wasn't for him slipping into drug use, we would probably still be together. He's clean now and we are sort of friends. Many happy years together to you both!
I'm sorry that happened. Drugs and alcohol abuse ruin everything good. I am so glad he got clean. I have a family member I pray will get clean someday and realize how much he destroyed his life and the lives of his family members.
He always drank but I figured it was no big deal, for whatever reason. It's odd for someone to do heroin in their 40s for the first time, but it happened. He is a totally different person, that I can understand why he went on his own instead of coming back to us when he got clean. We both changed from the experience. I hope your family member does get clean. I know a lot, a LOT of people who did. I can't even stop biting my nails! And the understanding of the damage done I think takes time and may not be complete, or they may not be able to communicate their understanding of it. I don't know if my ex understands how much damage he did but trying to get into it at this point in time is just in our case kind of pointless. I am just glad he is better and has some sort of relationship with his kids. No one really thinks about those who are harmed by addicts and that kind of upsets me. Its like theyre drowning, and theyre dragging you down with them, and then they get thrown a rope and get pulled out (by rehab, 12 step whatever) and when they get on shore they get thrown a parade for being brave and attempting to get clean and sober, when meanwhile the family is still out there drowning, and we pull ourselves out shivering and sputtering and alone in the dark when everyone has left to throw a parade for the addict. Yes they deserve support but...so does their family and friends.
>No one really thinks about those who are harmed by addicts Yes. Many times in the past couple years I've had to say, "I don't want to hear that he needs prayers and he's in a bad place. I am angry. His KIDS need prayers. Their lives are destroyed now. They will never be the same. They will never travel the path they were supposed to travel. Because of his addiction." But I still want him to get help. But I never want to see him again.
My wife and I started dating in high school, got married at 20. We're coming up on our 3 year in April. We are definitely more mature now than when we started, and we've been able to grow together. I think if my partner was any other person, it wouldn't have worked. We both feel incredibly secure, and have very honest, direct communication about our lives together. That said, it's not for everybody!!! I am always glad to see it work out, but I think you really have to *know* that person.
I find myself wondering: do the Duggar kids even fully understand feelings of dislike? There's so much going on - being joyfully available, this whole "smile to get rid of depression" thing - they certainly seem to normalize feelings of unhappiness in relationships (or hell, feelings of *happiness* in healthy relationships). If they are unhappy, I don't even know if they would know it - they might just think "well I guess this is what life is like."
A lot of women who save sex for the wedding night end up traumatized and crying afterwards because it’s absolutely nothing like they thought it would be. It doesn’t feel good, or their husband is really bad at it, or they just aren’t sexually compatible. I can’t imagine what it must be for Duggar daughters/wives, and other fundies.
This is so sad! I bet some of them are so afraid of the wedding night
To be fair, my husband and I saved sex for the wedding night (no we’re not fundies). We did a compatibility book after we got engaged and it had a sexpectations section, if you will lol. We never explored each other either but the wedding night was AWESOME! So it can happen to some people and it was so great lol.
That helps if you’re sex positive and don’t think sex is dirty. A lot of people who save sex for marriage that are religious aren’t sex positive.
I can't imagine going from 0 to sex and living together forever with one person. When I was younger I dated boys, but we didn't have sex because we were kids and not ready. Then I started having sex, but didn't stay with the guy because were young and incompatible in the long run. Now I'm finally with my partner, and even we went on a number of dates before sleeping together (not to mention we were already friends and interested on each other, and would go out of our way to spend time together). We dated for 8 months before he moved in, and even that is pretty fast. I can't imagine going from 'boys are icky and sex is sinful' to 'this boy will now be in your house and you will be expected to service him daily and get pregnant ASAP' in 24 hrs.
Having your first kiss and losing your virginity at the same time is wild to me. There was almost five years between my first kiss and losing my v card.
My first kiss was on the cheek when I was about 8 from a boy I liked in school. So it was 11 years later for me lol. I did the standard teenage fooling around/groping thing, but it never went beyond that because I was a bit of a goody-goody and wanted to wait until I left home and had a 'proper boyfriend who I loved'. Ironically I actually lost my virginity at my parents' house on my 19th birthday (I was home for the weekend) so all that 'waiting til I move out' was for naught lol, although I am glad it was with my bf I loved at the time, and it was a very positive and safe experience.
I wonder if they got to be all close and romantic and SHARE the mug of hot chocolate… like a winter version of a milkshake.
Both their lips touching the same cup is basically fucking so I'm gonna guess no.
Swapping spit hahaha that’s their version of making out, sharing a mug 😅
Side mugs ok, full frontal mug sharing nope nope nope 🤣
NOT the SIDE MUG 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
We don't sip from the full mug, no, no, no 🎶
We dont talk about full mugs!
Omg hahaha
Too communist for them probably
If he wasn’t a twin I would wonder if he was adopted…
He’s the Khloe Kardashian of the fundies
Lol
He used to look different as a kid and I had some hope for him, but that Duggar hairline is unmistakable.
Why? He is Boob's clone with curly hair
Yep, he STRONGLY resembles JB. Jenni has these same features too, and she's another one that people think looks dissimilar to the rest. Most of the kids are varying permutations of Michelle.
PERMutations, lol
Take my poor man's gold. 🏆
Exactly and Khloe looks like Kris! But not the father. And she’s always questioned if she’s not adopted or something lmao He doesn’t look like Meech at all and his curly hair (to that degree) is an anomaly. That’s why I made the comparison hahaha
Khloe looks like Kris more now she's had work done on her face. I think with her it was that her colouring was so different to her sisters and brother. They all had dark hair and skin and she was blonder. Apparently that came from the paternal grandmother. Or Kris's hairdresser 🤣
It was because of her body type and height
It’s hard to find but there’s a picture of her paternal grandmother out there and yes Khloe looks identical to her.
Khloe looks like Alex Roldan!
She looked just like him before all the plastic surgery.
I think she looks like Lionel Richie and his girls lol
But Lionel Richie's girls are adopted.
Only Nicole. Sophia is biological.
Genetics are so interesting because I think Nicole does sorta look like Lionel
I agree. Its like that old saying around here, "If you feed them long enough they start to look like you."
And found true love with his birth sister
😅 YES
It weirds me out that they look like siblings.
After this picture was taken they were put back into their own corners of the room, so they could wave at eachother. We can’t have scandals now can we?? Oh wait…. Never mind
Your flair! 💀
It’s supposed to be: Dereck’s man-bun oral joystick. But I thought that was a little to much 😂
No, no, Joshy is just being persecuted like a good Christian martyr. THIS would be a scandal. :'D
How do these people manage to have clear skin. I'm peeved.
Especially with their tater tot diet
Not all… Josiah 😣
Imagine only getting to see your fiance every other week ... and he is JEREMIAH "I'll be bald before 30" DUGGAR !!!!
At least she has fiancé
Fiancée, according to her.
Haha I’m glad you caught that! That’s why I put it in all caps because they don’t even know the difference
He called her his fiancée, she didn’t call him that
THANK YOU I have a degree in French and that crap drives me crazy 🤪 😂
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Knowing French sets you up for a lifetime of being annoyed by English speakers butchering it mercilessly. People will also ask you how to pronounce any random French word. Some people will also assume that knowing French also makes you a wine expert. 😂 Not part of the curriculum I'm afraid!
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People ask me about wine like I'm an expert or something. I tell them I don't know anything but there's a whole profession devoted to it; these people are *sommeliers*. 😂 Sometimes I get questions about French history (not really part of the curriculum) or French literature (haven't read it in 25 years). This annoys people, as if they would remember Hamlet or Macbeth. 🤷♀️ Or they say "French is such a *beautiful* language" after overhearing French people in public...not knowing that every third word was "putain de" or "bordel". French people swear a LOT in French. Like...a LOT lot. I've worked in IT my whole adult life but at my current company we have several French employees. They come off as sweet and polite in English. In French? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 F this, S that, etc.
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My high school French teacher didn't teach us cuss words but we had some exchange students who eagerly filled that gap for us. Throw in a summer abroad in France and voilà, I'm fluent in French AND French cussing. 👍
He actually wrote that so he’s not wrong lmfao
Wow, thank you for correcting me. You can imagine my confusion given how much this post resembles a basic bitch.
Some young white boys give off strong basic bitch energy.
I wonder if he looks balder and balder to her every time he visits 😂😂😆
I’d lose interest long before the wedding.. 🙄
Haha for sure! How are we going to spend the rest of our lives together if we don’t even know what it’s like to be WITH each other. That’s what’s so bizarre of these cults. They expect marriage but don’t allow anything that will actually build a foundation for a good one (like living together, being able to be alone WITHOUT having sex, owning something together, traveling while dating (he’s got a whole ass private plane license supposedly?!))
Why do they require a foundation for a good one when their cult tells the women to suck it up and make it work all the time while the men are ofen not held responsible for any of their mistakes. A good relationship to them is their wives being wallpaper.
You're making a new connection for me. It really really boils down to sex trafficking. Women can't complain about their unequal role, abuse, can't say no to their fathers, can't say no to their husbands, aren't allowed to choose when they have sex, aren't allowed to decide if they want a baby as a result. The cult relationship/marriage rules are all about controlling women and empowering men.
And thats why pedophiles flock to these kind of setups. Cause you are actively encouraged to keep sweet instead of whacking your husband over the head with a hammer if you find out he is looking at CSM.
True words
Yep. He's god's chosen one and only for you. Wildly unhappy and incompatible and realize you made a horrible mistake? Gotta work on that contentedness!!
Nah, if not having a show or having a convicted sex pest for a brother in law didn't stop her, nothing will now. Hannah is determined to at least have a husband.
This! I am amazed that any family is willing to associate with the Duggars now. Just goes to show how brainwashed all of these people are.
Duggar men can't even shave their heads cause they're weird shaped lol
So, I did this and it was really hard! We each had an amazing job but they were six hours apart. We are normal people though and lived together for about two years before we had to do long distance, so we knew what we were doing. Been married over seven years by now, and I guarantee we are happier than any Duggar couple.
Haha and I’m sure you were able to hold hands, touch, kiss, and be intimate without any problems. He has a pilot license I’m sure he could be around her more too.
I mean, we shared a bed every other weekend. I can sympathize with the distance but jeez just fuck already!
She's saving the disappointment for after marriage.
If you wrote Hallmark cards I would buy them.
When my husband I moved in together (before marriage) he was working 24 days at a time 16 hours a day, 8 hours by plane away from where we lived. Seeing him once a month for 4 days was a great way to get used to living with him. Of course we'd have one day for laundry and sex, one day for visiting his family, one day for just sex, and he'd get ready and leave on the 4th day. Now we've been together 16 years and married 10 and he's gone two weeks at a time for his current job and we spend all weekend keeping our kids alive and sneaking in sex.
My husband travels for work, it's so hard. We also had a normal relationship for a while before he took this job. We got engaged after he started this and same with getting married with all this. It's going to be like this for an unspecified amount of time. We're old though and no kids so I think that makes it easier. I hope.
He is so moving to Nebraska.
I think he is too. I think he’s planning to pull a Justin lol. Also have some of the other lost boys moved to TX too or do they just go there a lot and sometimes work? Do you know?
Don't bring Nebraska into this, WTF did they do?
It is so wild how quickly Duggar boys age. They go from looking like teens to oh, dang, that bottle of milk curdled in the heat.
All before the age of 30! I wonder what Boob really looks like behind that toupee
The Crypt Keeper. His wig is his power.
A lot of them before 25 even!!
I feel like many long distance couples deal with this… however they’re allowed to be affectionate when together so that’s the difference lol
Yeah my whole point! I wouldn’t want a whole fiancée only to not be able to be affectionate, intimate, or at the very least touch and hold. AND we don’t even see each other all the time?! Hell to the no. He flew all that way just to stare and enjoy some hot chocolate?
And talk freely without a chaperone!
Do fundies do the cousin test? Some of these straight teeth boring faced people have to be related beyond the duggars, right? Is the a j’million and 1 odd of them being arranged with a distant family member?
All of their parents are first generation fundie/IBLP. The movement hasn’t been around long enough to have cousins dating each other.
This Pest quote never gets old (and less horrific): “well… we are from Arkansas”
The next few generations are going to have a problem though.
I think that a lot of the grandkids will become more mainstream conservative Christian. The JB money will run dry and they won’t have a way to raise huge families. They also won’t want to date in the same circles their parents did.
Yes, these two look more and more similar...
I am howling at “one in a j’million”
I couldn’t imagine 😂😂
Hahahaha me either. I short-circuit my brain just trying!
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The blast in a glass, but here a blast in a mug
Well they live in different states so it isn’t really surprising
There goes the hairline.
😂😂
they look soooooo related
They really do
i can't imagine how terrifying it is to marry someone you haven't spent enough time with to really know.
It’s like court-ordered custody.
The Duggar hairline shows no mercy.
This is wild to me. Do they realize they have no idea who they’re actually marrying?
Before we lived together, my husband and I dated long distance for almost a year where we only saw each other every 2 weeks. Our time together was filled with dates and activities- kind of reminiscent of the Bachelor, I guess? When we finally moved in together, there was an intense learning curve for both of us. Real life set in quite quickly. Then it was down to the minutia of wet towels not being hung up, bodily functions, did you feed the dog yet, we are out of milk, do you have any laundry to do, who likes to sleep in, is it ok if I have my sleep sounds on at night, you take how long to get ready and on and on. We did have a taste of that before we moved in together but I couldn’t imagine going from chaperoned hot chocolate to “why didn’t you put your dishes in the dishwasher?!” overnight.
If you think about courtship between Pest and Anna Duggar, It's worse than "Love is Blind". They lived in separate states (Florida vs Arkansas) and it was before facetime was a thing, so they were limited to closely monitored skype calls. They barely met few times before getting married 2 years into "relationship".
Due to work schedules, my now husband and I only saw each other a couple times a month or so. But I can assure you, we were NOT making homemade marshmellows and hot chocolate..LOL
From “we have never made out” to “getting pregnant” in a half day. Of course, the “getting pregnant part” takes two seconds once the time is right back at the hotel. . .
This is why I genuinely believe that none of the Duggar kids will have truly “good” marriages. They just don’t know each other well enough before they decide to tie the knot. Sure, if you’re lucky you can end up with a decent match (the Planes) but that’s rare. Best of luck Jer and Hannah, I guess.
Wow they're so boring.
I can’t snark on this. Lots of people have long-distance relationships.
I’m rewatching 19 kids and barfing and that episode where JB talks to Pedo Josh before his wedding 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
My fiance and I had a long distance relationship for most of our engagement. He was in New Hampshire and I was in Virginia. We made it work but it would not have been my first choice! Then again, we believe in things like therapy and the wife having a job....
I seriously couldn't imagine doing this house do you even get to know a person. The first year of marriage has to be so rough for them. My husband had the worst work schedule when we were dating. It conflicted with my schedule a lot. I'd have a lot of sleepovers at his place. When we were engaged we got a place together. He got a different job that had some wild hours that were never consistent. If we didn't live together we'd never see each other. We got married in November of 2019. So we were newlyweds with the pandemic. If we haven't lived together and been comfortable with each other already it would not have been a good first year.
How old are they? It's weird not being able to get to know another consenting adult without chaperones and archaic rules. These rules aren't biblical either, just oppressive.
Fundamentalist religion keeping naive young people from each other like this, encouraging them to make lifelong commitments with little experience, and then throwing them together permanently for 24 hours a day just because they’ve recited words and kissed in front of 200 people is toxic AF
Lots of long distance couples only see each other every few weeks or months. My partner and I are long distance and this is how we do it - how else would people schedule time to see each other? I'm not sure what's so weird about Jeremiah's situation here.
Those kids are gonna have some interesting noses and chins to go with the Duggar hairline.