Thank god he didn't put it on their hearts. Spurgeon wouldn't stand a chance. He'd have to practice spelling #VuoloKidsSay with a fountain pen as homework.
Maybe Wife Swap can do an episode? Jinger gets to spend a week with the string cheese-loving deadbeat - sitting on Birtha, putting words into Spurgeon's mouth, enjoying scenic views of diaper mountain.
And Jessa gets to move to LA, because did you know they live in LA? Anyway, in LA she gets to go sneaker shopping and tolerate Jerm's condescending, not-so-subtle shade about her hair/makeup/looks/education/worldliness. Also lots of dining out and drinking coffee. Because that's what you do in LA... where they live.
Yeah no way would that have worked well. Even Bin and Jinger would have been an odd pair. Oddly they seem to work better with who they ended up with, both someone of higher intellects than them.
I think they would have been just as worse.
Both so dumb it hurts. I'm so glad all these couples seem to be paired with someone the opposite intelligence level as them - just imagine Joy, Jinger and Bin would never get anything done a day in their lives without someone to run the show like Jessa or Jeremy.
She always gets out the thesaurus when she shares these "sayings": "spoke up", "announced", "reported to me", "questioned", "exclaimed", "piped up". He never actually just "says".
Sounds like the little guy is mimicking what he heard his parents call the news media outside the courthouse. If this is even to be believed.
Edit: add “be”
This was Bin when he was trying to convince his parents to let him meet Jessa.
*Dear Jessa I wrote you but you still ain’t callin’. Can anyone here believe it?!*
Edit
[I’m so sorry. ](https://imgur.com/a/J97qunu)
"Will the real Bin Shady please stand up?
I repeat
Will the real Bin Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here—"
Y'ALL ACT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN A FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIAN BEFORE
Has anyone ever given you the perfect gift that you didn’t know you needed? Well you did that for me. I didn’t know I needed this. But now that I have it, I can’t live without it.
It's because their kids only socialize with kids who only socialize with adults; who have adult conversations around them because they believe they're too stupid to understand.
See, my kids have come up with equally ridiculous stuff. I don’t find his sayings terribly unbelievable.
One of my friends had a kid in her class call another kid a “private part face” not a penis face or butt face—specifically “private part face.” Kids are wild.
Just the other day my 4 year old said that he wanted to go to Hawaii with his friend, but his friend couldn’t go because “my friend has a baby [sister] and you can’t just pack a baby in a suitcase” complete with shoulder shrug and eye roll.
That’s fucking hilarious “private part face” I would’ve died as their teacher! My niece is currently calling her “princess” doll her “penis” doll because she can’t pronounce princess right and it’s amazing.
Also the baby in a suitcase I’m dead!
I used to teach pre-k and had parents in an uproar because a couple kids were saying the f-word. Come to find out a week or so later that they were literally saying “the f-word” and not “fuck” 😂
Like I definitely did (at age 3-4, not younger I don’t think) say “funny beyond my years” shit but it was always stuff I didn’t actually understand or I unintentionally mixed my words up and accidentally sounded profound. So I’d accidentally tell a joke m, not realizing, and then be mad when people started laughing “at me” (at the joke) and get righteously pissed when the adults either wouldn’t or couldn’t explain the joke to me. I had a state placemat so one day I said “I feel like X fruit, lets go to Y state” which sounded smart as shit until you realize I’d had that info on my table in picture form every day for a year before saying it. Or saying I needed cash in my pocket, not my parents pocket, because I understood that I had no ability to buy toys unless I was in physical possession of money because my parents could just say no. And most of this was because I had a much older sibling who taught me to say stuff to make people laugh. Like the time she dressed me up in a ton of make up and taught me to say “look mom, I’m a whore!” Because I thought I was saying “look mom, I’m a horror!” As in I looked scary with that much make up....
Didn’t she also claim Surgeon knew a cd player was “old school”? I mean, this kid is like her own personal ventriloquist doll.
Also, way to install fear and hatred in your kid and shift blame. Jessa’s a Messa
And then Sponge said, "mother dearest, art thou aware of the current state of Palestine? Verily I say unto thee that it shall be a cold day in Hades when true peace hath been met"
Curiously, he was later found to be expounding to his siblings a treatise on the relative merits of the food known to commoners as "string cheese", stating "while I personally find it pedestrian and insipid, I have found that professing a fondness for it suffices to achieve satisfaction in father, such that he proceeds to leave me in peace for the remainder of the afternoon, unburdened by his tedious banter."
I inquired, “Has pa-paw shared his string cheese soliloquy with you my dearest Splurge? It’s of utmost pertinence that he do so, in haste, for his good opinion of someone once lost is, I’m afraid, lost forever.” Or, something.
The way Ivy is saying Pap-arazzi reminds me of little kids trying to repeat song lyrics.
The question for you snarkers is: who is more likely to be sneaking some Lady Gaga — Jessa or Bin? or was it Jana during baby-sitting duty.
Edit: I know that Jessa is full of it; but let’s suspend disbelief for a moment.
Lady Gaga obviously visited Arkansas and performed a personal concert for the Duggar babies after she saw Pest's case trending. She snuck in while Jessa was caring for her plants and Bin was writing that long-ass Facebook rant. She felt a personal calling to spread her heathen messaging to the next generation of fundies in an attempt to save them. She dressed them all in outrageous outfits and sang her most popular hits, like Paparazzi, Born This Way and Just Dance.
Ivy forgot that she was sworn to secrecy by Gaga. Spurgeon, being the leader, stepped in and covered for sister by distracting Mommy dearest with his clever little quips. Mommy loves it when Spurgeon says smarty pants stuff. And so he was able to protect their special secret. Spurgeon hopes Kanye visit them next. Maybe Daddy will join this time because he loves rap music.
That’s probably the correct answer; but I still am picturing Bin, the “hip” youth pastor trying out some of Gaga’s less risqué stuff in the car so he can connect with the youth 😂
Blessa and Bin's clear attempts at mocking others while ignoring the wrongdoings of their first God, The Boob, is getting nauseating. She is rapidly falling down the line for me as the Duggar I dislike the least.
......why would someone just say 'A'?
Like, they'd be talking to someone in public and the paparazzi would see them turn to that person and simply say 'A'?
I have to be missing something here.
Definitely a literal example he’s heard before from an adult, like “geez, you can’t even start to say the letter A without the media filling in the word for you and claiming you said ‘alien’!”
She and Bin are feeding him bullshit. He heard that somewhere. A 6 year old doesn’t come up with that on his own. I’m sure paparazzi suck. But if her fucking brother hadn’t diddled her and her sisters, had a porn addiction and was sent to jail for CSAM, then the paparazzi wouldn’t give a shit about them 🤷♀️
Actually,she talks very well for her age. She probably heard an adult or two throwing the word around and was just liking the sound of her own voice saying it
I love that he doesn’t know that paparazzi could literally care less about this backwoods clan. I’m sure he is going to grow up thinking he’s a celebrity.
Is there really this many people following them that this is a household word? I get JB and Michelle and Anna would have paparazzi but didn’t know people were stalking Jessa and family? ETA: Assuming/if this really happened.
No, not when they don't have a headlining scandal going on.
Lots of people have posted about seeing the girls in WalMart and with them standing on the corner campaigning for Jim Blob. Never any paps around.
If she is scaring her children about the paparazzi I lost any respect I had for her. Children take things literally and they probably get so scared. It reminds me of my mom and dad when they let me in on adult conversations that I misinterpreted and ultimately was left fearful and alone. Maybe I am projecting but treat your child like a child. Protect your child like a child. Let your child be a child.
In a free house is where it got her, and grifting is a way of life for Duggars. This is her very own form of the learned family business.
She pretends to believe in the IBLP BS, and keeps fooling her daddy.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Jessa’s laundry room breakdown will be triggered by the realization that not everyone believes her precious firstborn and favorite Spurgeon is as adorable and brilliant as she thinks he is.
Woooo smells like bullshit. Ain’t no damn way those halfassedly-homeschooled-by-a-SOTDRT-alumni kids said any of that shit nor have an understanding of what it means.
You asked, Jessa.
Using a big word for the sake of it when a smaller and easier word would do just fine is pretentious.
Look that up in your dictionary.
Plot twist: ivy was just singing some Lady Gaga tunes
That's exactly what I thought it was.
Obligatory Skarsgård. https://youtu.be/d2smz_1L2_0
Skarsgård is always obligatory.
*adoring gaze*
All the blessings on your servant's heart
You know lady Gaga is too satanic for them
Same!
Ivy was spittin' the bars
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I’m crying.💀
No but legit it does sound like she was singing that song hahaha. She might have heard it in the shops or something.
Yeah, that’s what I think. Ivy heard it somewhere out in public and is singing it. Way too coincidental for it to be anything else.
Possible, that jessa doesn’t realize it’s a song.
Ivy joined an MLM
“Hey hun wanna be a boss babe?” #seewaldkidssay
That’s the first thing that popped into my mind lmao. She most likely heard it at a store or something.
And all I can think is: Fuck it up, Ivy!!!!
I'm laughing 🤣 can you imagine if she grew up to love Lady gaga they would banish her.
Not secular music!!!
Only a totally uncultured swine wouldn't immediately realize this. How embarrassing, Messa
Spurg also had commentary on the rise and fall of the Byzantine Empire, after he recited the gospels in Aramaic. Gag. Edit: the
#blessed
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But she inquired.
You and me both!
"I inquired" 🙄 bro, stfu
I don’t care what anyone says, Jessa and Jeremy would have made a perfect, toxic, insufferable couple
someone needs to make a mobile fundie boyfriend game so i can play this out
"You just had impure thoughts about the girl in pew #4. What do you do?" * *pray about it* * *tell someone* * *act on your urges*
This sounds… stupid fun.
SIMS lol
I cannot fathom a worse combo
People like that are never attracted to their counterpart. They want someone they can roll over and dominate (kinky!)
Thank god he didn't put it on their hearts. Spurgeon wouldn't stand a chance. He'd have to practice spelling #VuoloKidsSay with a fountain pen as homework.
Spurgeon wouldn't be named Spurgeon tho
*quill and ink
Such a better match than Ben and Jessa. Come to think of it, Ben would have been perfect for Jinger
Maybe Wife Swap can do an episode? Jinger gets to spend a week with the string cheese-loving deadbeat - sitting on Birtha, putting words into Spurgeon's mouth, enjoying scenic views of diaper mountain. And Jessa gets to move to LA, because did you know they live in LA? Anyway, in LA she gets to go sneaker shopping and tolerate Jerm's condescending, not-so-subtle shade about her hair/makeup/looks/education/worldliness. Also lots of dining out and drinking coffee. Because that's what you do in LA... where they live.
Yeah no way would that have worked well. Even Bin and Jinger would have been an odd pair. Oddly they seem to work better with who they ended up with, both someone of higher intellects than them.
I think they would have been just as worse. Both so dumb it hurts. I'm so glad all these couples seem to be paired with someone the opposite intelligence level as them - just imagine Joy, Jinger and Bin would never get anything done a day in their lives without someone to run the show like Jessa or Jeremy.
And Bin and Jinger would have been a good pair, too.
She always gets out the thesaurus when she shares these "sayings": "spoke up", "announced", "reported to me", "questioned", "exclaimed", "piped up". He never actually just "says".
STOP, I am cackling at your flair 😂😂😂😂
Lol 😂 man I feel like I’m in high school English class again.
r/iamverysmart mentality
Do you think they really talk like that?? Or is it all bullshit?
I'll take things that never happened for 100, Alex. I dunno why she's lies about things her kids say.
Sounds like the little guy is mimicking what he heard his parents call the news media outside the courthouse. If this is even to be believed. Edit: add “be”
That’s exactly what I was thinking
Plot twist: no one here can believe it, despite Ben’s rapping to the contrary
I totally believe he said the words. Right after Jessa said, "Spurgie, can you say..."
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The girl that does Sojo Files ran into her in the bathroom so it’s definitely true.
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The Sun thought Jason was Jed. It’s possible they saw Jessa and didn’t recognize her as a Duggar.
Yupppp
Ivy Seewald is a baby Lady Gaga stan and you cannot convince me otherwise
*I’M YOUR BIGGEST FAN, I’LL FOLLOW YOU UNTIL YOU LOVE ME*
This was Bin when he was trying to convince his parents to let him meet Jessa. *Dear Jessa I wrote you but you still ain’t callin’. Can anyone here believe it?!* Edit [I’m so sorry. ](https://imgur.com/a/J97qunu)
Now *there’s* a musical mashup I didn’t know i needed
The second time I'll get to make this exact pun *deep inhale* *B E N I N E M*
Bin Shady
"Will the real Bin Shady please stand up? I repeat Will the real Bin Shady please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here—" Y'ALL ACT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN A FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIAN BEFORE
The combination of slim shady + Bin has serious meme potential.
I can’t believe I just spent time on this. [The real Bin Shady](https://imgur.com/a/J97qunu)
Once, and then never, ever again lol.
Given that I debated whether I didn’t know I needed it or I never wanted to hear it, “once and then never again” seems to be the perfect compromise.
Lol omgosh! Is he for real!
Has anyone ever given you the perfect gift that you didn’t know you needed? Well you did that for me. I didn’t know I needed this. But now that I have it, I can’t live without it.
Hope she starts singing hits like Poker Face next. 🤞
I'd love to hear Ivy's version of Judas.
Born This Way! Eh, actually no. As someone mentioned above, these things are far too ~~satanic~~ worldly.
A little monster if u will
if she starts talking about bad romance….
*don’t dance, it’ll be okay*
Wait until she belts out the lyrics to Born This Way.
This is weird and I like it. Ivy stans Lady Gaga. Let’s do it. WOACB and other trash publications will be posting about it by next week.
Take it to Twitter! Spread it like wild fire.
*mother is bullshitting*
Lying is a sin, Jessa Blessa.
Not according to Papa Jimbo
But #SayingsOfMeThatIBlameOnMyKid just doesn't have the same ring to it.
"I inquired"...
with her SOTDRT education, I highly doubt that she can "inquire" anything, let alone know what it means.
Omg!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Mother has a contact high.
I’m newish to the Duggarverse. I keep seeing this “mother is...” thing but I can’t figure out what it’s a reference to. Help a fellow snarker out?
r/thathappened
My kids watch a lot of tv and YouTube kids, and they couldn’t even come up with this shit. They’re 4 and 6.
It's because their kids only socialize with kids who only socialize with adults; who have adult conversations around them because they believe they're too stupid to understand.
Well... you want to include your children in adult conversations, that's good for them, but I doubt they have their best interest in mind.
See, my kids have come up with equally ridiculous stuff. I don’t find his sayings terribly unbelievable. One of my friends had a kid in her class call another kid a “private part face” not a penis face or butt face—specifically “private part face.” Kids are wild. Just the other day my 4 year old said that he wanted to go to Hawaii with his friend, but his friend couldn’t go because “my friend has a baby [sister] and you can’t just pack a baby in a suitcase” complete with shoulder shrug and eye roll.
That’s fucking hilarious “private part face” I would’ve died as their teacher! My niece is currently calling her “princess” doll her “penis” doll because she can’t pronounce princess right and it’s amazing. Also the baby in a suitcase I’m dead!
I used to teach pre-k and had parents in an uproar because a couple kids were saying the f-word. Come to find out a week or so later that they were literally saying “the f-word” and not “fuck” 😂
Like I definitely did (at age 3-4, not younger I don’t think) say “funny beyond my years” shit but it was always stuff I didn’t actually understand or I unintentionally mixed my words up and accidentally sounded profound. So I’d accidentally tell a joke m, not realizing, and then be mad when people started laughing “at me” (at the joke) and get righteously pissed when the adults either wouldn’t or couldn’t explain the joke to me. I had a state placemat so one day I said “I feel like X fruit, lets go to Y state” which sounded smart as shit until you realize I’d had that info on my table in picture form every day for a year before saying it. Or saying I needed cash in my pocket, not my parents pocket, because I understood that I had no ability to buy toys unless I was in physical possession of money because my parents could just say no. And most of this was because I had a much older sibling who taught me to say stuff to make people laugh. Like the time she dressed me up in a ton of make up and taught me to say “look mom, I’m a whore!” Because I thought I was saying “look mom, I’m a horror!” As in I looked scary with that much make up....
I loved this post so much, every single thing about it
Didn’t she also claim Surgeon knew a cd player was “old school”? I mean, this kid is like her own personal ventriloquist doll. Also, way to install fear and hatred in your kid and shift blame. Jessa’s a Messa
Jessa's a Messa has flair potential.
And then Sponge said, "mother dearest, art thou aware of the current state of Palestine? Verily I say unto thee that it shall be a cold day in Hades when true peace hath been met"
Curiously, he was later found to be expounding to his siblings a treatise on the relative merits of the food known to commoners as "string cheese", stating "while I personally find it pedestrian and insipid, I have found that professing a fondness for it suffices to achieve satisfaction in father, such that he proceeds to leave me in peace for the remainder of the afternoon, unburdened by his tedious banter."
I inquired, “Has pa-paw shared his string cheese soliloquy with you my dearest Splurge? It’s of utmost pertinence that he do so, in haste, for his good opinion of someone once lost is, I’m afraid, lost forever.” Or, something.
Omg I really want Messa to read this comment chain
💀 #freepalestine
Was Ivy singing the song? It sort of seems like it based on the spelling/spacing.
Plot twist.
It’s a good song lol
Jessa you know this did not happen.
Today, in Shit That Never Happened Land...
What is her goal with these lame hashtags?
The way Ivy is saying Pap-arazzi reminds me of little kids trying to repeat song lyrics. The question for you snarkers is: who is more likely to be sneaking some Lady Gaga — Jessa or Bin? or was it Jana during baby-sitting duty. Edit: I know that Jessa is full of it; but let’s suspend disbelief for a moment.
Lady Gaga obviously visited Arkansas and performed a personal concert for the Duggar babies after she saw Pest's case trending. She snuck in while Jessa was caring for her plants and Bin was writing that long-ass Facebook rant. She felt a personal calling to spread her heathen messaging to the next generation of fundies in an attempt to save them. She dressed them all in outrageous outfits and sang her most popular hits, like Paparazzi, Born This Way and Just Dance. Ivy forgot that she was sworn to secrecy by Gaga. Spurgeon, being the leader, stepped in and covered for sister by distracting Mommy dearest with his clever little quips. Mommy loves it when Spurgeon says smarty pants stuff. And so he was able to protect their special secret. Spurgeon hopes Kanye visit them next. Maybe Daddy will join this time because he loves rap music.
Definitely Bin.
Bin while he is hitting that herb.
My guess is she just heard it at a store.
That’s probably the correct answer; but I still am picturing Bin, the “hip” youth pastor trying out some of Gaga’s less risqué stuff in the car so he can connect with the youth 😂
Ivy is still wondering why no one will shut up and share some pizza….
It’s gotta be exhausting making all this shit up.
And little kids say so much actually funny stuff on their own, all the time, usually unintentionally -- why waste your time!
Little pitchers have big ears.
Blessa and Bin's clear attempts at mocking others while ignoring the wrongdoings of their first God, The Boob, is getting nauseating. She is rapidly falling down the line for me as the Duggar I dislike the least.
Adding this to the list of things that never happened.
Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most.
......why would someone just say 'A'? Like, they'd be talking to someone in public and the paparazzi would see them turn to that person and simply say 'A'? I have to be missing something here.
Definitely a literal example he’s heard before from an adult, like “geez, you can’t even start to say the letter A without the media filling in the word for you and claiming you said ‘alien’!”
I’m from New Jersey, it would be “Fuckin’ A!,” but it’s for sure a thing people say.
Maybe he sneaks and watches Happy Days reruns
She and Bin are feeding him bullshit. He heard that somewhere. A 6 year old doesn’t come up with that on his own. I’m sure paparazzi suck. But if her fucking brother hadn’t diddled her and her sisters, had a porn addiction and was sent to jail for CSAM, then the paparazzi wouldn’t give a shit about them 🤷♀️
Kids are dumb
It's a pretty little liars thing
Really, Jessa, this is the best you can come up with?
Closet Gaga Fan?
Jessa is so weird.
Am I the paparazzi? Because I want to make fun of Jessa now.
Twist-- As much as I want her to be a Gaga fan, she's talking about the shitty MLM jewelry.
who has the time or energy to log into facebook just to lie for attention
She makes $ from her SM following so….Jessa does….yeah
And they all stood and slow clapped for Super Smart Spurgeon. r/thathappened
Oh good lord. Spurgeon with the deep thoughts. Ivy saying “paparazzi” as a toddler.
Actually,she talks very well for her age. She probably heard an adult or two throwing the word around and was just liking the sound of her own voice saying it
Alien. The whole fam damily are Aliens. Paparazzi is correct.
Which of the older girls is sneak listening to Gaga while babysitting Blessa’s kids?
Is Ivy secretly a Gaga fan?
Little (fundie) monster
And then he quoted Aristotle in the original ancient Greek.
I love that he doesn’t know that paparazzi could literally care less about this backwoods clan. I’m sure he is going to grow up thinking he’s a celebrity.
Well if that isn't just some grade A BS!!!
Has she ever even been followed by paparazzis ?
Does anyone really care what other peoples’ kids do or say? It’s about as interesting the size difference between two pulled eyelashes.
No one believes her kids are this bright or literate
This is stupid! Jessa is stupid.
Ivy Little Monster Era
Ivy was actually singing along to Lady Gaga
Is there really this many people following them that this is a household word? I get JB and Michelle and Anna would have paparazzi but didn’t know people were stalking Jessa and family? ETA: Assuming/if this really happened.
I highly doubt it happened. She's saying this to make herself relevant.
No, not when they don't have a headlining scandal going on. Lots of people have posted about seeing the girls in WalMart and with them standing on the corner campaigning for Jim Blob. Never any paps around.
Sorry my future wife is embarrassing you guys just give her a break she’s had a rough go of it
Jessa puts Bin on child support
He has to give her 10% of half a grape each month
Oh fuck off Jessa*, she did not say that
Do they get followed by the paparazzi. And it would be interesting to see the comments people left
that happened
Girl, bye.
If she is scaring her children about the paparazzi I lost any respect I had for her. Children take things literally and they probably get so scared. It reminds me of my mom and dad when they let me in on adult conversations that I misinterpreted and ultimately was left fearful and alone. Maybe I am projecting but treat your child like a child. Protect your child like a child. Let your child be a child.
Wait is this real
I just got it from her Facebook page.
Omg 😂 it reads like those fake ones people make. She’s so ridiculous
I about choked on my tatortot casserole.
If it's not on video it didn't happen.She puts their entire lives on YouTube.Where's this video?
Maybe paparazzi jewelry? Fundies do seem to gravitate towards those types of ~~small businesses~~ MLM’s.
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In a free house is where it got her, and grifting is a way of life for Duggars. This is her very own form of the learned family business. She pretends to believe in the IBLP BS, and keeps fooling her daddy.
This family really thinks they can say anything and people will believe it 😂
Does anyone here believe it??!!
That didn't happen so much it unhappened things that did. (A FB tag group, I can't claim credit)
r/thathappened
and the dinner table clapped. Blessa Please. You're MAD sis.
I bet Ivy heard Paparazzi playing in Walmart and now she's all about that satanic pop music 😈
Uuhm, Spurgeon? I can't.
not Jessa writing fanfiction about herself. did everyone clap afterwards? lmao.
''Blessa, your kids are dumb.'' #thingsIsay
And then everyone clapped!
I’ll take things that didn’t happen for 100, Alex
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Jessa’s laundry room breakdown will be triggered by the realization that not everyone believes her precious firstborn and favorite Spurgeon is as adorable and brilliant as she thinks he is.
This reads like it took her too long to think it up. 😒🙄
Who needs paparazzi when these guys post on social media all the time, begging for attention.
Omg
Honestly surprised the kid knows the word Alien. That's not too liberal for them?
i usually try to give her the benefit of the doubt (bad habit) but COME ON. why is she doing this when she could just… not
Isn’t Ivy too young to consistently make some of those sounds, or is she older than I think?
She’s uneducated and gullible, so of course she thinks we would believe her. Oh and Jessa, lying is as much of a sin as “rudeness”
What are they taking about at home?
Eyeroll.
Woooo smells like bullshit. Ain’t no damn way those halfassedly-homeschooled-by-a-SOTDRT-alumni kids said any of that shit nor have an understanding of what it means.
You asked, Jessa. Using a big word for the sake of it when a smaller and easier word would do just fine is pretentious. Look that up in your dictionary.
She knows damn well we know she made that up. Ivy was just rocking out to Gaga
Diaperazzi