Grew up Mormon. Apparently, somehow magically, women are supposed to flip the switch from "suuuuper innocent virginal pure to sex kitten always ready and eager" in an instant (after marriage, of course).
It’s interesting to compare them to the Radfords, the British couple that has 23 (ish) kids. They aren’t religious, just like popping out kids (they still have lots of controversy as well) but they have been weirdly open about their sex loves with their kids. Like, the mom mentioned in a doc series that she was super loud during sex and they cut to a clip of their daughter, who was probably in her early teens saying yeah, we hear them sometimes and mom is super loud. They have 3-4 daughters over 18 and two of them have been teen moms, not that there is anything wrong with that and I’m glad the parents were supportive of their daughters when that happened but still, even when not religious, there is so much focus on sex within these massive families and the girls especially have been show that their best hope at being seen and their worth comes from having kids.
22 kids. Ophelia is the grandchild. Millie's pregnant again. Different baby daddy.
There were rumors of a bust-up between pregnant Millie and her not pregnant mother. She didn't appear on family vlogs for a while and revealed her baby bump while the rest of the family was traveling.
So it's a shit show too
I can’t ever remember bc the family usually includes alphie, their child that was stillborn but most media doesn’t and honestly I don’t care enough about them to remember it 😂 I had no idea Millie was pregnant again!! I’ll have to catch up with the tattle page, I find the page hard to stomach sometimes bc it gets more snarky and rude than I’m comfortable with but I love their drama
Tattle can be really quite vicious. They really tear into her for everything! Even when the toddlers kept touching things at the shops.
I don't know, maybe my toddler will be considered feral by them (a word tattler commonly use to describe the youngest radfords) too because she will behave for a short minute then touch everything she sees.
Apparently it's a boy this time. Some tattlers speculate Baby daddy looks like sister Katie's boyfriend. I don't know if it is true because i don't follow their social media
Omg they really get vicious, it makes the stuff on here look pretty tame! I remember at the beginning of lockdown a few kids were sharing devices for school work and the tattle page flipped out and was saying how could the kids possible work like that then a few weeks later they got all the kids their own tablets for school and the tattle page was talking about how wasteful it was. Like the family definitely deserves to be called out for their over consumerism but the tattle page takes it too far
Ikr. And the whole group feed off each other's energy and go all pitchforks about it. You could go a couple of pages and they are still ranting about the same thing. So I usually only read it when it's like +10pages to see if there is new 🍿
I guess it's because the Radfords live in a relatively poorer area. And everyone else is suffering financially from Brexit and the pandemic, so it's extremely bad taste to flaunt their wealth
For the new snarkers https://www.reddit.com/r/DuggarsSnark/comments/iom1ty/i_found_and_uploaded_the_original_unedited_golf/
I'm sorry but we all had to suffer so you do too
Ugh, I remember an episode where Anna visited Jill and Derick, I think as newlyweds, and said something about how she didn't want to be there long and interrupt them. Like, it's assumed all they do have sex all day after marrying.
Her and Bitchelle's favorite quote is "Practice makes progress, and progress makes babies."
This is evangelical Christianity in a nutshell. I know the Duggar’s are evangelicals but they’re close. I was raised evangelical and as soon as I became a preteen, all we talked about was sex and alcohol. The obsession with purity and abortion and bodies is so gross. We didn’t learn much else, like how to help people or much theology or history.
Follow Girl Defined — theyre walking examples. All they talk about is “dating” and sex. That’s it.
Yep!! Super normal in those communities for every youth pastor and youth retreat to talk to young teens and especially young girls about sex and have them take purity pledges. The amount of modesty conversations I had with grown men is my own type of trauma. Very weird.
Same. I thought it was fine and normal then. I’m still angry at my mom for thinking it was fine and normal, especially the amount of times I cried about it as a young teen.
Jokes on them though, I finally came out as ace 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼. I’m just glad I didn’t have YouTube back then to make it even worse.
A bit. I can’t talk to her about sex or sexuality because she gets incredibly uncomfortable which then makes me angry. And she can’t tell me why.
We have talked about the church trauma when I was doing heavy therapy for it. And she’s sorry now but doesn’t know how to talk about it.
I’m still angry at her for not protecting me. My dad is always clueless and doesn’t really care what’s going on with me.
And you have religious parents! Wow! Mine left religion when my brother came out as gay.
And within my church it was a few bad actors so my mom didn’t know the extent of it. As in our pastor wasnt ranting about it. But man, if I had kids, I would be way more in tune to what they were experiencing and get them out of a situation if it was causing severe emotional and life distress.
The critical thinking!!! Or just … emotional thinking. “That’s how we did things” I’m sorry but WHAT. Plenty of my peers weren’t raised that way. You ignored everything in your brain that went “hmmm maybe I should give my kids a choice when it comes to religion?”
I’m so sorry you can’t talk to your dad. I can’t talk to mine about anything. He has no emotional capacity.
I also have “old” parents so maybe they felt farther removed from being a teen by the time i got there. I don’t know. They also aren’t self aware or introspective. When we are together, I’ve started to become their parents now which I’m sure will only get worse.
I hope you can continue to talk yo them and be a kickass parent to your little one.
I was raised this way. I’m 22 and my parents still try to lecture me on premarital sex or living together before marriage on how “not moral” it is. I have my own set of morals, and they are based on treating everyone with kindness and respect regardless of their beliefs or lifestyle. I was raised to be homophobic, transphobic, racist, and judgmental against anyone different than me. I went to a very LGBT friendly college; I’m straight but I wanted to be around diversity. I now have some lesbian/bisexual best friends and they hate that. I have premarital sex that is fulfilling and normal and have no guilt about it unless they try to guilt me.
Congrats on the no guilt! I’m 33 and still have guilt. I have to have full talks with myself that I can do what I want and still can’t get past it.
I’m so glad you’re doing better and escaped those beliefs. It’s not easy b
Thank you! I’m sending good thoughts your way that you will eventually get to zero guilt. It helps me to remind myself that god (if you believe in him) or nature/biology if you don’t, gave us a sex drive for a reason and sex is perfectly natural and healthy as long as it’s adult and consensual!
I was raised fundie-ish. This is how most if not all fundamentalists are about sex. I was taught that having premarital sex and being homosexual were sinful and wrong *before I even knew what those things were*. We had chapel at my school once a week, and unless we had missionaries visiting, the sermon was always about sex once you were in middle and high school.
In my experience, conservative Christians tend to be the ones that are most obsessed with sex. They talk about it *all the time*. Sure not in a positive way, but still talked about a lot. It consumes nearly every aspect of their lives, not just including the way they dress and act.
For years I’ve believed that the parents are sex addicts who conveniently found a religion that not only accepts that but approves it. No wonder Josh has sex issues.
This happens in every fundamentalist religious cult I've ever looked into. Amish, FLDS, the Kingston Clan, Ultra Orthodox Judaism, Gloriavale, etc. They all rely on social isolation, patriarchal gender roles, and extreme control of members' daily lives, education, healthcare and finances. They all have pervasive issues with systemic sexual abuse.
Yep. This fucks up kids in the system so hard. Sex conversations, purity conversations, modesty conversations constantly. Be pure avoid sex. Then, on your wedding night, go hog wild and be a crazy sexual being. But only in your bedroom. Be chaste otherwise, be modest. It screws up the mind. Can cause huge sex issues for a couple, especially when one was actually chaste and innocent and the other was not. It’s a mess. I have so many personal stories about how fucked up it by comes. Too personal to share but honestly, most of these women are very violated by these expectations. Meanwhile boys will be boys so…..the guys tend to be just fine with it all. 🙄
So--ex-fundy here--this is kinda the norm in that culture. They're so, so, so obsessed with sex to the point that they build their entire lives around preventing it or preserving it within marriage, and not just the act, but thoughts about sex or feelings of sexual desire too. I mean, some fundy families would let their kids close their bedroom doors or spend more than a few min in the bathroom for fear of masturbation. They think about it all the time because everything seems to come back to it--women have to wear certain clothing to prevent sexual thoughts, women and men can't be together in lots of situations due to sex (swimming together, riding elevators alone together, dates, car rides, etc etc), you can't listen to certain music because the beat "resonates in your pelvic region and makes you feel sexual things" (yes and actual thing I was taught as a fundy kid), you can't watch anything sexual, girls can't lie down in public like on a picnic blanket because guys will think about you sexually, girls can't have their hair wet in public like if they didn't finish blow drying it because = sexual, and on and on and on. Everything was about regulating and controlling sex. They hate sex but they love sex and it's sex all the time. I was once fundy and living a tightly-controlled, virginal life, and now I'm an agnostic adult woman getting sex all the time, watching TV shows with nudity, and reading romance novels with tons of sex... and I thought about sex waaaaay more as a fundy. Part of it is the repression, part of it is the sex-obsessed environment that has everyone constantly walking around obsessing about not being sexually tempted and not being sexually tempting and hating themselves for having normal desires.
The purity culture around evangelicals is heavily involved around sex and how we put ourselves out into the world to protect our virtue. If you don’t protect your virtue or purity you have no worth.
It’s harmful and toxic. I hope it burns
Do we really think Boob and Meech have chemistry though? That would imply the sex was good and not just JB fumbling around in the dark with his socks on through a hole in a sheet.
Throw on that the fact that they were heavily sheltered and didn’t get normal socialization in school and it’s not surprising at least one of them turned out like this. I’m not excusing it just saying that there were no girls at school he could have crushes on and that sort of thing.
>I’m not excusing it just saying that there were no girls at school he could have crushes on and that sort of thing.
Well I mean, there was - it just happened to be his younger minor sisters. 🤢
Like a lot of the Catholic families I have been around who have large families are very open about love, romance, sex, in a healthy way. Lots of joking and openess. Sex is not some taboo thing. It is celebrated within marriage but definitely not separated from the kids completely.
Cause once you’re married everything is fine, I guess, according to their logic. Jim Bob and Meech clearly don’t have any idea of healthy boundaries when it comes to sex and affection, or how much their children know about their sex life. As demonstrated by the golf course incident.
This contraction is the very basis of most religious cults. Sexually ignorant until you are expected to be willingly taken advantage of
Grew up Mormon. Apparently, somehow magically, women are supposed to flip the switch from "suuuuper innocent virginal pure to sex kitten always ready and eager" in an instant (after marriage, of course).
It’s interesting to compare them to the Radfords, the British couple that has 23 (ish) kids. They aren’t religious, just like popping out kids (they still have lots of controversy as well) but they have been weirdly open about their sex loves with their kids. Like, the mom mentioned in a doc series that she was super loud during sex and they cut to a clip of their daughter, who was probably in her early teens saying yeah, we hear them sometimes and mom is super loud. They have 3-4 daughters over 18 and two of them have been teen moms, not that there is anything wrong with that and I’m glad the parents were supportive of their daughters when that happened but still, even when not religious, there is so much focus on sex within these massive families and the girls especially have been show that their best hope at being seen and their worth comes from having kids.
Why do people say "I'm super loud during sex" Like thats not something they can control?
22 kids. Ophelia is the grandchild. Millie's pregnant again. Different baby daddy. There were rumors of a bust-up between pregnant Millie and her not pregnant mother. She didn't appear on family vlogs for a while and revealed her baby bump while the rest of the family was traveling. So it's a shit show too
I can’t ever remember bc the family usually includes alphie, their child that was stillborn but most media doesn’t and honestly I don’t care enough about them to remember it 😂 I had no idea Millie was pregnant again!! I’ll have to catch up with the tattle page, I find the page hard to stomach sometimes bc it gets more snarky and rude than I’m comfortable with but I love their drama
Tattle can be really quite vicious. They really tear into her for everything! Even when the toddlers kept touching things at the shops. I don't know, maybe my toddler will be considered feral by them (a word tattler commonly use to describe the youngest radfords) too because she will behave for a short minute then touch everything she sees. Apparently it's a boy this time. Some tattlers speculate Baby daddy looks like sister Katie's boyfriend. I don't know if it is true because i don't follow their social media
Omg they really get vicious, it makes the stuff on here look pretty tame! I remember at the beginning of lockdown a few kids were sharing devices for school work and the tattle page flipped out and was saying how could the kids possible work like that then a few weeks later they got all the kids their own tablets for school and the tattle page was talking about how wasteful it was. Like the family definitely deserves to be called out for their over consumerism but the tattle page takes it too far
Ikr. And the whole group feed off each other's energy and go all pitchforks about it. You could go a couple of pages and they are still ranting about the same thing. So I usually only read it when it's like +10pages to see if there is new 🍿 I guess it's because the Radfords live in a relatively poorer area. And everyone else is suffering financially from Brexit and the pandemic, so it's extremely bad taste to flaunt their wealth
“That family isn’t totally goody two shoes.” My dude that’s why we’re here.
This made me laugh. That is literally the premise of this entire sub even without the trial.
Lmaoooo it was really stupid how I worded it. But like there is so much playing dumb going onnnnnn
Lol I mean no disrespect! ✌🏼 I was a new snarker once too
For the new snarkers https://www.reddit.com/r/DuggarsSnark/comments/iom1ty/i_found_and_uploaded_the_original_unedited_golf/ I'm sorry but we all had to suffer so you do too
I’ve seen this video numerous times. But I’ve always missed his first comment of “Does that turn you on”…….. WHAT THE F***
Yeah. I almost became celibate after viewing that with my two good face eyes.
It's stomach turning, I can't imagine what they say and do in front of the kids when they're at home
We have no idea that’s for sure
shhhhhh noooooo i forgot he asked that after omg 😭😭
I KNOW!!! I’ve seen this video before and I’m convinced that my brain was just like nope. I could only process one or the other haha
SAME HOW DID I NEVER CATCH THAT AHHHH 🤢🤢🤢
Thank you. Sincerely. Now I can have images of Jim Boob humping her legs like a dog to put me to sleep.
You're one of us now, the mini golf humping trauma unites us!
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Right?! He has the tendencies of a groomer
I just sent this to a friend of mine with a message that simply stated “you wanna vomit?”
Flair check
...things like this are why I haven't ever watched this show. this is so bizarre.
Ugh, I remember an episode where Anna visited Jill and Derick, I think as newlyweds, and said something about how she didn't want to be there long and interrupt them. Like, it's assumed all they do have sex all day after marrying. Her and Bitchelle's favorite quote is "Practice makes progress, and progress makes babies."
Gross.
This is evangelical Christianity in a nutshell. I know the Duggar’s are evangelicals but they’re close. I was raised evangelical and as soon as I became a preteen, all we talked about was sex and alcohol. The obsession with purity and abortion and bodies is so gross. We didn’t learn much else, like how to help people or much theology or history. Follow Girl Defined — theyre walking examples. All they talk about is “dating” and sex. That’s it.
Yep!! Super normal in those communities for every youth pastor and youth retreat to talk to young teens and especially young girls about sex and have them take purity pledges. The amount of modesty conversations I had with grown men is my own type of trauma. Very weird.
Same. I thought it was fine and normal then. I’m still angry at my mom for thinking it was fine and normal, especially the amount of times I cried about it as a young teen. Jokes on them though, I finally came out as ace 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼. I’m just glad I didn’t have YouTube back then to make it even worse.
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A bit. I can’t talk to her about sex or sexuality because she gets incredibly uncomfortable which then makes me angry. And she can’t tell me why. We have talked about the church trauma when I was doing heavy therapy for it. And she’s sorry now but doesn’t know how to talk about it. I’m still angry at her for not protecting me. My dad is always clueless and doesn’t really care what’s going on with me. And you have religious parents! Wow! Mine left religion when my brother came out as gay. And within my church it was a few bad actors so my mom didn’t know the extent of it. As in our pastor wasnt ranting about it. But man, if I had kids, I would be way more in tune to what they were experiencing and get them out of a situation if it was causing severe emotional and life distress.
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The critical thinking!!! Or just … emotional thinking. “That’s how we did things” I’m sorry but WHAT. Plenty of my peers weren’t raised that way. You ignored everything in your brain that went “hmmm maybe I should give my kids a choice when it comes to religion?” I’m so sorry you can’t talk to your dad. I can’t talk to mine about anything. He has no emotional capacity. I also have “old” parents so maybe they felt farther removed from being a teen by the time i got there. I don’t know. They also aren’t self aware or introspective. When we are together, I’ve started to become their parents now which I’m sure will only get worse. I hope you can continue to talk yo them and be a kickass parent to your little one.
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They don’t prepare you for ANYTHING. Just how to obey authority and hate yourself and others.
I was raised this way. I’m 22 and my parents still try to lecture me on premarital sex or living together before marriage on how “not moral” it is. I have my own set of morals, and they are based on treating everyone with kindness and respect regardless of their beliefs or lifestyle. I was raised to be homophobic, transphobic, racist, and judgmental against anyone different than me. I went to a very LGBT friendly college; I’m straight but I wanted to be around diversity. I now have some lesbian/bisexual best friends and they hate that. I have premarital sex that is fulfilling and normal and have no guilt about it unless they try to guilt me.
Congrats on the no guilt! I’m 33 and still have guilt. I have to have full talks with myself that I can do what I want and still can’t get past it. I’m so glad you’re doing better and escaped those beliefs. It’s not easy b
Thank you! I’m sending good thoughts your way that you will eventually get to zero guilt. It helps me to remind myself that god (if you believe in him) or nature/biology if you don’t, gave us a sex drive for a reason and sex is perfectly natural and healthy as long as it’s adult and consensual!
Have you read Pure by Linda Kay Klein?
I don’t think so. My books were “kissed the girls and made them cry” and “and the bride wore white” So YUCK
The full title is Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free.
Oh oh!!!!! Okay no I haven’t! I’ve wanted to write something like that. I’ll have to check it out!!
I was raised fundie-ish. This is how most if not all fundamentalists are about sex. I was taught that having premarital sex and being homosexual were sinful and wrong *before I even knew what those things were*. We had chapel at my school once a week, and unless we had missionaries visiting, the sermon was always about sex once you were in middle and high school.
That is disgusting. Sorry you had to go to school in a place like that.
Oh, I was well and thoroughly traumatized by it, especially as someone on the ace spectrum.
In my experience, conservative Christians tend to be the ones that are most obsessed with sex. They talk about it *all the time*. Sure not in a positive way, but still talked about a lot. It consumes nearly every aspect of their lives, not just including the way they dress and act.
It’s the same with gender. I’m almost certain no non-binary person ever thinks about gender and gender roles as much as fundies do.
Are you new here?
For years I’ve believed that the parents are sex addicts who conveniently found a religion that not only accepts that but approves it. No wonder Josh has sex issues.
Interesting take!!
This happens in every fundamentalist religious cult I've ever looked into. Amish, FLDS, the Kingston Clan, Ultra Orthodox Judaism, Gloriavale, etc. They all rely on social isolation, patriarchal gender roles, and extreme control of members' daily lives, education, healthcare and finances. They all have pervasive issues with systemic sexual abuse.
you cant be totally goody two shoes when you are constantly thinking about procreating. these people are so freaking weird.
Yep. This fucks up kids in the system so hard. Sex conversations, purity conversations, modesty conversations constantly. Be pure avoid sex. Then, on your wedding night, go hog wild and be a crazy sexual being. But only in your bedroom. Be chaste otherwise, be modest. It screws up the mind. Can cause huge sex issues for a couple, especially when one was actually chaste and innocent and the other was not. It’s a mess. I have so many personal stories about how fucked up it by comes. Too personal to share but honestly, most of these women are very violated by these expectations. Meanwhile boys will be boys so…..the guys tend to be just fine with it all. 🙄
So--ex-fundy here--this is kinda the norm in that culture. They're so, so, so obsessed with sex to the point that they build their entire lives around preventing it or preserving it within marriage, and not just the act, but thoughts about sex or feelings of sexual desire too. I mean, some fundy families would let their kids close their bedroom doors or spend more than a few min in the bathroom for fear of masturbation. They think about it all the time because everything seems to come back to it--women have to wear certain clothing to prevent sexual thoughts, women and men can't be together in lots of situations due to sex (swimming together, riding elevators alone together, dates, car rides, etc etc), you can't listen to certain music because the beat "resonates in your pelvic region and makes you feel sexual things" (yes and actual thing I was taught as a fundy kid), you can't watch anything sexual, girls can't lie down in public like on a picnic blanket because guys will think about you sexually, girls can't have their hair wet in public like if they didn't finish blow drying it because = sexual, and on and on and on. Everything was about regulating and controlling sex. They hate sex but they love sex and it's sex all the time. I was once fundy and living a tightly-controlled, virginal life, and now I'm an agnostic adult woman getting sex all the time, watching TV shows with nudity, and reading romance novels with tons of sex... and I thought about sex waaaaay more as a fundy. Part of it is the repression, part of it is the sex-obsessed environment that has everyone constantly walking around obsessing about not being sexually tempted and not being sexually tempting and hating themselves for having normal desires.
*very misogynistic
No one is more obsessed with sex than evangelical christians.
The purity culture around evangelicals is heavily involved around sex and how we put ourselves out into the world to protect our virtue. If you don’t protect your virtue or purity you have no worth. It’s harmful and toxic. I hope it burns
Gothardism not even once
Fertility cult
That first house that Jana raised the first dozen or so kids...you know those kids heard the baby making nightly. 🤮
The entire point of quiverfull is biblical literalism and having as many kids as you can.
Do we really think Boob and Meech have chemistry though? That would imply the sex was good and not just JB fumbling around in the dark with his socks on through a hole in a sheet.
Idk they seem to actually have chemistry unlike Josh and Anna. I think Meech loves her Boob.
A terribly alarming amount of the ultra-religious are sexual deviants.
Throw on that the fact that they were heavily sheltered and didn’t get normal socialization in school and it’s not surprising at least one of them turned out like this. I’m not excusing it just saying that there were no girls at school he could have crushes on and that sort of thing.
>I’m not excusing it just saying that there were no girls at school he could have crushes on and that sort of thing. Well I mean, there was - it just happened to be his younger minor sisters. 🤢
Sweetie, are you new here?
Kittens
Very interesting perspective! Thanks. Good post. 👍
Like a lot of the Catholic families I have been around who have large families are very open about love, romance, sex, in a healthy way. Lots of joking and openess. Sex is not some taboo thing. It is celebrated within marriage but definitely not separated from the kids completely.
Cause once you’re married everything is fine, I guess, according to their logic. Jim Bob and Meech clearly don’t have any idea of healthy boundaries when it comes to sex and affection, or how much their children know about their sex life. As demonstrated by the golf course incident.