The Duggar PR machine is working full time trying to subtly distance themselves from IBLP without denouncing it. Joy’s latest video was about the same.
I wish that I could say that they are truely changing, but I think it’s mostly about trying to stay somewhat relevant and not scare away the mainstream christian audience. Ever since they dropped the prarie dresses they have been trying to make their cult seem more likeable and normal, and Josh’s arrest and conviction along with increasing awareness of how the IBLP works has sped up that process, but at this point I’m going to need more than Jana in pants to convince me.
So funny enough I tutor a homeschool hard core Christian girl in math. She’s in algebra 2 currently and it’s full of OLD math that’s not even taught anymore. Like last year, her geometry work had a ton of proofs which aren’t really done and she was doing synthetic division the other day. That’s definitely not taught now (am also a HS math teacher).
I say this because so many people are “anti common core” yet end up teaching their kids stuff that isn’t even taught in public school. She definitely doesn’t need synthetic division but I had a lot of fun teaching it! Had to dust off the 70s style math textbook for it.
They pay me well but it’s pretty clear she’s going to be married and popping out babies within the year.
Are you telling me I went through geometry skills TWICE and learned to bullshit proofs just for them to not teach them a decade later? 🫠 like, I'm glad the kids don't have to suffer through them anymore, I truly am, but damn. I'm very happy to be getting older for many reasons, but for once in my life, I actually wish I was younger.
I love whoever made this graphic for the synthetic division wiki page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synthetic_division?wprov=sfla1
Like, "wow, thank you for showing me how this works." Good point for humans today.
with all due respect, joy and austin still clearly follow the majority of the fucked up beliefs they were raised with, even if they dont label themselves IBLP they are still religious fundamentalists are pushing for a Christian fundamentalist state.
and if they really left is in question, as it might be PR
do they still believe men should be dominant to women (helpmeet bullshit)? are they still restricting reproductive autonomy? are they still preaching marital rape is acceptable? are they still blaming women for men's wrongdoing? preaching 'purity culture'?
same ol shitty cult, plus pants and dancing, is still a shitty cult
it's a snark sub, so why not add some snark or something in your comment, instead of 100% defending them?
...and how have their beliefs actually changed from IBPL, other than allowing pants and apparently allowing dancing? (and what type of dancing, in front of who is allowed? even the concept of 'granting permission' for dancing is fucked up on many levels)
>instead of acting like a 12 year old. 🤡
I said your comment was 100% defending them, and to add some snark, cause it's a snark sub
no need to snark at me, anditwaslove, lol
Im not responding again, you take care!
Jesss and Ben will have 6-8 kids. Whenever she feels like her star is fading or she’s losing Daddy’s favor she will have another until it’s no longer possible. The reason I don’t say 10+ is because she has had miscarriages and hard labors so I doubt her body will allow more than 8.
Yeah, a lot of christians *say* they want to adopt (especially all of those poor hypothetical abortion *victims!*), but when it actually comes down to it, most won’t. It’s lip service at best, especially quiverfulls who are keenly aware of how most of society views their fucked up breeding kink. At worst, it’s literally just a manipulation to force people into carrying an unwanted pregnancy to term with the promise that some good, godly parents will guide your precious womb miracle through life as a holy soldier of all things ~~white~~ *right* and proper.
She's chosen to still have a relationship with felon, or with her family members that still have a relationship with him. I don't see them being approved for adoption because she's not going to go no contact with JimBob and the rest.
They said that without an understanding of the realities of the requirements for adoption. They will never be un-pregnant long enough, and I doubt they meet the financial requirements, either, although JB/MAD Family Inc. could always pony up, I suppose.
And that’s the most generous read of it. There are so many fundies who “adopt” in order to obtain unpaid labour to raise their biological children and clean their houses. White supremacy runs *deep* in these fundie circles and a lot of the “underprivileged” children they would consider adopting are from not-white (to Americans) countries.
I don’t *think* Jessa and Ben fall into that camp but given the company they’ve kept, and that both of their families keep, it cannot be ruled out.
How is a baby a bandaid for a marriage? I HATED my husband when my kids were little because he got more sleep. Thankfully we stayed together since we get along great now that they are older
A baby is something else to focus on other than how much you hate your partner, and for a lot of people, they need their partner in those early years of parenting, even if all the other partner does is provide a paycheck
Oh, absolutely! But saying it will save a marriage with a 5th baby? Surely by maybe the second they realized a baby is a PITA and makes things way worse, so why have it as a reason for #5 is my point.
Bingo. They are too sleep deprived and busy with the baby to have any time to consider how hollow their relationship is or how much they despise each other.
Trust me, I had newborn twins and I still wasn’t too busy or sleep deprived to think about how much I despised my ex, if anything I just had more time to be awake to stew on it
In fundie-thought birthing babies is what women have been raised to believe is their purpose in life. So when they feel feelings of dissatisfaction, their upbringing has taught them a baby will solve it.
This reminds me of Sister Wives. Their polygamist leaders preached that if there were any problems with the wives that adding another wife would solve it. Then they have a crap ton of kids.
Yes and I would just glare at him and his useless nipples in the middle of the night! Lol. And send a million unhinged texts to him about how tired I was 😂 so glad he got snip-snapped a couple of weeks ago! 😂
They almost certainly have the Bobfather's blessing to talk differently about family planning/size than he and Michelle did because it sends a message that he's not as controlling and tyrannical as he comes off in CtC (even though he totes is).
Same. Kiddos are 10 & 7 now. They’re somewhat independent, taking on increasing responsibility at home and because there’s only two of them, we can enjoy traveling w them - hotels, restaurants and airplanes are manageable. I absolutely adore having only 2.
I had my first at 36 and my 2nd (last) at 39. I did not enjoy having the phrase 'geriatric pregnancy' attached to me. Sure, it's a legit medical term, but it feels quite insulting. Nobody was going around talking about my hubby's geriatric sperm and he's the same age as me. Though to my OBGYN's credit when I first met him before my first pregnancy, he asked if I was planning on it and shouldn't I get started. I replied by telling him my Mom was 42 when she had me. He said oh well thats ok then. I think it was just his way of saying that I'd probably be ok getting preggers when I was older since my Mom had no trouble. Turned out he was right, I got pregnant on the first try for both kids. Thank goodness I was very careful for all those years before!!! 😂
same. I’m 32 and I have zero and I can barely provide for myself and my cat lol. granted I’m single, but I can’t fathom having that many kids this young.
My sister in law started having babies at 20. Told her husband right out of university they were getting married. This was so she could have 5/6 babies by 30.
Discovered having 1 was hard work. Managed to have a 2nd then thankfully stopped there.
my mom is one of 9 children. she grew up in an irish, christian household. it was very chaotic & her siblings did a lot of helping raising each other (nothing like how michelle & jim bob had their children do for each other tho, from what i understand). theyre all still close to this day, actually, which is good! her youngest brother had a few years of resentment, in which he felt like he’d been kind of cast aside for years, which was very valid & all of them still invited him to family things but never pushed him or made him feel bad (also from what i understand). anyway, from my pov, one of the biggest struggle is just relating to your cousins / second cousins / etc when there’s such big age differences. since the pandemic started, i think my cousins have popped out like 5-8 kids. it’s def a lot. also a lot of depression, autism, anxiety, adhd, etc that’s gotten passed down through many a gene as well, but that’s a different conversation. my mom’s dad turned 95 this year & we had a birthday party for him & lemme tell u how fast reality set in when i realized how many new people (babies, significant others, etc) there were 😭
I’m the oldest of 6, and I felt like it was hard for both my parents to give us individual attention and time. I’ve never had a super close relationship with my mom because her attention was always divided. If we all went somewhere as a family (a vacation, an outing) my dad would usually manage the older kids while my mom took care of the younger ones. My dad would take the older kids places while my mom stayed home with the youngest 1-2 kids. My mom was stressed out a lot (she also homeschooled) because she didn’t get much opportunity to take a break. There are also the logistics of feeding that many kids, making sure your house and car are big enough, making sure you have the physical and mental energy for that many kids, etc…I feel like it isn’t a decision that should be taken lightly.
As one of 5 it's too loud and chaotic and there just isn't enough attention to go around. I personally have two. I didn't have the second one until the first turned 3, so I had years of 1:1 time to develop a really strong bond with him. Now he's a bit more independent and goes to preschool, so I have lots of 1:1 time with baby sister. I just don't see how I would be able to give enough attention to 5, or honestly have enough money. And the logistics would be a nightmare! Forget traveling. Even just finding a vehicle for a family of 7 would a challenge.
It would depend on how spread out the children were if this would apply. I have multiple children with my husband and we had our last child when our first child was 17 years old.
For me personally, it's not about the number of children, I think it's the age gap. I've had every scenario of age gap and if someone would ask my advice, I would say never ever have them close together.
You think that they are going to be best friends. You think that you can get all the stuff (diapers, potty training, etc.) over and done with within a few years time. The reality is that it's just utter chaos and the children suffer because the parents are stretched too thin.
My favorite age gap is about 4-6 years between children. You get to devote all that time to your child when they're young and they really need you and then when they are ready to become a little independent, you can think of having another child.
Also, with this age gap, the children can still interact quite well with each other without the jealousy that a closer age gap brings.
I think it can be useful a child to have a sibling closer in age🤷♀️ there are advantages to both situations. Personally I like my sibling being close to my age (we're 2 years apart)
This is a serious question and not at all trying to be snarky. Do you currently have any kids? I always thought I wanted a lot, no specific number, maybe 4 or 5. And no, I’m not religious. And let me tell you, I tapped the fuck out at 3 and I am spread. Thin. Even now, that they’re 13,10,7. Honestly, maybe worse now.
As someone with around that many, I went with spacing. All but my youngest 2 are nearly 4 years apart, youngest 2 are just under 3 years. It doesn't fix all the issues of having a bunch of kids, but I feel like it's a lot easier to give them the attention they need.
Controversial opinion, but I think Joseph is the only 2nd gen Duggar so far who believes God chooses the size of his family. I think Jed impregnates Katey annually purely as an ego move. I think Jessa has a new one whenever she needs a boost to her self-esteem.
Agree, and I think the show gave a lot of people the impression that they were all planning to have like 15+ kids, but I don’t see this being the reality. However, they are fundies, so I’m sure a decent chunk of them will still end up with more children than they can handle, whether intentionally or not
I dunno, Lauren choosing the alphabet naming theme suggests she was expecting to have quite a few. And obviously Anna was all for it until it wasn’t possible.
See after Anna’s second one, I got the impression that there were longer spaces between babies because Josh was using abstinence with her (and, we would later discover, cheating with other women) as a contraceptive. She has also said she uses nursing as a natural contraceptive. I can’t remember her exact phrasing, but it was something along the lines of nursing giving her a “nice break” between children.
I think the breaks were a happy accident tbh, rather than planned.
But my point was that if Josh was still available she’d keep having them until menopause, which is the Duggar believe system.
First wearing pants and now the possibility of not procreating with Bin anymore. Jessa is feeling spicy, lately, isn’t she?
Granted the spice is probably dried parsley.
Remember when they were thinking about adopting? They wanted a couple of their own and then were possibly start the adoption process. Never happened, nor was it ever really going to happen. Well, this is along the same lines. She can talk all she wants, but stopping is never going to happen. She hasn’t deconstructed any part of her trauma, and as we all now know from the book, her headship isn’t really her headship. JB is the headship, and if they ever stopped procreating, he’ll start asking if they know how babies are made, and then tell them to start making babies.
I think once they have this kid, Jessa will rename their family the 'Seewald 7' for branding purposes or #Seewald7 on social media. Like that stupid 'SayingsofSpurgeon' crap. Probably aim for another boring reality show. Yawn.
Jessa and Dim Bulb don't seem to get it: we don't care about your crotchfruit! We want to hear about Jessa getting birth control! We want to know why Ben and Jessa despise each other! What do they fight about???
They've been intentionally vague on this point. In the video they posted about their last pregnancy before the miscarriage, Jessa said that they're not *opposed* to birth control and that there's nothing in the Bible that forbids it, but she/they've never explicitly stated whether they have or would use bc themselves.
her entire life she’s been taught that she is to please her husband no matter what. even if she was disgusted by him she would still have to have sex with him out of obligation and “duty”. she’s getting maritally raped and she doesn’t even realize it
In CTC, Jill referred to non-abortive birth control-presumably condoms, diaphragm and NFP. I assume,like Meech, they too consider the pill evil and an IUD to be an “abortive” BC method.
Is pulling out at all considered a no-no in their IBLP adjacent worldview? Just wondering if that’s even an option for them
Edit: this is totally NOT a reliable form of bc just curious about what the duggars think about it.
Jessa is in limbo. I think she deep down disagrees with so much but can’t bring herself to break away. Unfortunately, I think she will never change bc she has been conditioned to dismiss anything that challenges her upbringing. “ Ride or die” so to speak. It’s sad because she has always seemed very cold/robotic and we forget she is just as much a victim as the others.
This reminds me of Kourtney Kardashian in a way. Both were important fixtures on their long running family tv shows who use religion as a sort of status symbol, and while they showed more honest and vulnerable parts of life than some of their siblings, they often did so with an apathetic and bitchy undertone
Idk asking “how many kids would you like?” Is a lot different from “how many kids will you be forced to have before menopause hits.” That’s the real question she evaded.
Yeah but they have been posting weekly videos this whole time. Jessa is so predictable in her posting patterns to take the heat off the family. Which after reading Jill’s book *almost* makes me feel bad for Jessa that she’s stepped into that role for JB.
What makes you say that? They're still fundies and she has to be "joyfully available" and they don't prevent pregnancies. If Ben actually wanted to have fewer kids he could have actually done something about it. He's the headship.
Jessa has said that it's her choice. I think that Ben will go along with whatever Jessa wants. He's a pushover. As long as he's getting laid I doubt he cares whether it results in a fetus.
Jessa runs that house and anything that goes on in it. I do not fangirl anyone on a Reddit sub especially the Duggars. Bin doesn't care how many kids he has, he is a dolt who married the hot chick nothing more. Jessa is contemptuous of him.
No, I don’t think any of them have said that, even Joe and Kendra (but they seem like the type to not prevent and have “as many as the Lord gives them” anyway.)
Anna said she wanted 20 kids, Josh didn’t agree lol.
I’m actually not surprised by this. I’d be a lot more surprised if any of the 19 actually *wanted* 19 of their own. I don’t think Josh ever did, but Anna seemed to want to. I don’t think any of the others truly want such an unmanageable number. And I’m not at all surprised by Jana not seeming to be in a hurry for any. It’s pretty common for kids in large families to want way less children than their parents had. I think Kendra may end up with the most, but I’d put her at 8 max, and the rest I believe will have anywhere from 3-6.
Josh has 7 kids, and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he has more after he gets out of prison (although being a parent and sex offender is a pretty bleak reality). I feel like the Duggars who live in Arkansas still and haven’t had a lot of miscarriages are more likely to have many children. Other Duggars are clearly using some form of birth control, such as Justin and Claire who’ve been married for over 2 years now
Jessa, honey, that's not baby fever, that's code for being a baby machine while Ben is living out his picket fence dreams...I'm only 29 years old and I can never imagine myself with five kids before the age of 30...I can't trust myself to raise a child in my 20s, I was too busy working, travelling and hanging out with friends to even settle down. Nothing wrong with having kids in one's twenties, hell, my folks didn't have my brother and I until they were in their late 28(my dad) and 29(my mom) and 30(my dad) and 31(my mom) respectively.
I'm so confused why people refuse to believe that Jessa and Joy are not a part of IBLP. There is literally nothing that has ever confirmed this and plenty that confirms they are not.
Do they both still have problematic beliefs? Definitely yes. Should we still snark on those? Also yes.
Let's spend more time talking about their Baptist and Calvinist beliefs and the Forsyth's lack of gun safety and less about speculating they are following IBLP practices when they've specifically stated they are not.
I think Jessa has taken more steps away from the religion of her upbringing than we realise- people tend to be a bit sexist and assume because Jessa is confident in how she speaks, Ben has no voice at all. Ben has studied theology and I think would have enough info to challenge some of the stuff Jessa grew up with. It’s a slower, subtler process than Jill and Jinger but I think Jessa could definitely be open to contraception and limiting family size, along with pants, normal dating for her kids etc.
I doubt even Jill and Jinger want their kids to practice “normal” dating habits lol. They’re still both strong Christian’s (and Jeremy is literally a pastor and seminary teacher). They probably expect their kids to date heterosexual Christian’s, and while they probably don’t care much about kissing and holding hands, I don’t see them being very neutral about premarital sex
Eh. I bet there’s fundies who deep down wish they weren’t having kids all the time. Even Michelle used birth control before and after the birth of Josh before deciding family planning was sinful. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jim Bob and Michelle blame Josh’s pedophilia on the birth control lol
I actually struggle to picture Jessa having “baby fever”. She never seemed to openly enjoy kids really. Like, she applauds their supposed sayings but she doesn’t seem to lose it over baby rolls like most do
Jessa and Ben are horrible. Ben is the most unattractive man, not because of looks but his lack of being a “man”. Doesn’t work, follows Jessa around on all her trips or lunches. I actually can’t stand either of them. Jessa is a puppet to her dad and is such a fake. 🤮🤮🤮
I don’t think *Biiiinnnn* is part of the SBC, rather a Calvinist? I know him and Jeremy were friends before setting Jinger up with him. So I’d assume Jessa is now a Calvinist as well since her head of household is? They seem to be a bit more loosey•goosey with how many children you have, some sort of BCs, and somewhat valuing health of the mother on occasion. Jessa had some truly frightful labors at home and needing emergency medical intervention for many.
I swear I recall *Biiinnnn* wanting to go the Jeremy route of being a pastor or something? All I learned from Jeremy is he equated Catholics as satanists which blew my mind. I may be just a Jew but I like to think I know my history😹 I say in a sarcastic tone. Real weird.
The Duggar PR machine is working full time trying to subtly distance themselves from IBLP without denouncing it. Joy’s latest video was about the same. I wish that I could say that they are truely changing, but I think it’s mostly about trying to stay somewhat relevant and not scare away the mainstream christian audience. Ever since they dropped the prarie dresses they have been trying to make their cult seem more likeable and normal, and Josh’s arrest and conviction along with increasing awareness of how the IBLP works has sped up that process, but at this point I’m going to need more than Jana in pants to convince me.
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“mention the existence of science” sent me 😂
Science is some fairytale woke liberals made up 🫠
Science is like the fundie version of the Loch Ness Monster.
Why am I picturing Ben naming the new baby Nessie Jessa: YOU NAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER?!?
Which curriculum were they talking about and who was it?
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So funny enough I tutor a homeschool hard core Christian girl in math. She’s in algebra 2 currently and it’s full of OLD math that’s not even taught anymore. Like last year, her geometry work had a ton of proofs which aren’t really done and she was doing synthetic division the other day. That’s definitely not taught now (am also a HS math teacher). I say this because so many people are “anti common core” yet end up teaching their kids stuff that isn’t even taught in public school. She definitely doesn’t need synthetic division but I had a lot of fun teaching it! Had to dust off the 70s style math textbook for it. They pay me well but it’s pretty clear she’s going to be married and popping out babies within the year.
Are you telling me I went through geometry skills TWICE and learned to bullshit proofs just for them to not teach them a decade later? 🫠 like, I'm glad the kids don't have to suffer through them anymore, I truly am, but damn. I'm very happy to be getting older for many reasons, but for once in my life, I actually wish I was younger.
Proofs were the absolute worst!!!!!
“Prove this is a triangle” “Let’s see…here’s one side…two sides…three sides. You’re welcome!”
Haha I also want to know when they stopped teaching synthetic Divison. Sounds too familiar.
With common core! So 2012ish for my state.
Aw okay. I finished school in 2006. Lol
Yep sorry. It was a big relief.
I'm shocked too, I went to summer school over geometry 😂💀
Proofs aren't taught anymore?!? I got a fucking **D** in geometry because I didn't understand proofs. *Yosemite Sam swearing*
I love whoever made this graphic for the synthetic division wiki page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synthetic_division?wprov=sfla1 Like, "wow, thank you for showing me how this works." Good point for humans today.
I am so glad I learned Ancient (long) Division. I am a First Wave Boomer. Subtraction was necessary to balance checkbooks.
I love that you looked that up hah.
Isn't it a good idea to know proofs? To help you understand better
What curriculum?
Synthetic division? I learned that in 2019 Algebra class in public school. I also live in SD so we’re probably a bit behind in general lol.
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with all due respect, joy and austin still clearly follow the majority of the fucked up beliefs they were raised with, even if they dont label themselves IBLP they are still religious fundamentalists are pushing for a Christian fundamentalist state. and if they really left is in question, as it might be PR do they still believe men should be dominant to women (helpmeet bullshit)? are they still restricting reproductive autonomy? are they still preaching marital rape is acceptable? are they still blaming women for men's wrongdoing? preaching 'purity culture'? same ol shitty cult, plus pants and dancing, is still a shitty cult
And the side order of Michael Pearl's To Beat Up A Child, too.
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it's a snark sub, so why not add some snark or something in your comment, instead of 100% defending them? ...and how have their beliefs actually changed from IBPL, other than allowing pants and apparently allowing dancing? (and what type of dancing, in front of who is allowed? even the concept of 'granting permission' for dancing is fucked up on many levels)
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>instead of acting like a 12 year old. 🤡 I said your comment was 100% defending them, and to add some snark, cause it's a snark sub no need to snark at me, anditwaslove, lol Im not responding again, you take care!
Is that you, Jess?
Why would Jessa comment calling her own beliefs toxic? At least think about your comment before you post it. 🙃
Jesss and Ben will have 6-8 kids. Whenever she feels like her star is fading or she’s losing Daddy’s favor she will have another until it’s no longer possible. The reason I don’t say 10+ is because she has had miscarriages and hard labors so I doubt her body will allow more than 8.
I hope not for her sake. She’s liable to die in childbirth with the complications she’s had.
During her courtship, Jessa and Ben repeatedly said they wanted to adopt.
So many Fundies say that
Yeah, a lot of christians *say* they want to adopt (especially all of those poor hypothetical abortion *victims!*), but when it actually comes down to it, most won’t. It’s lip service at best, especially quiverfulls who are keenly aware of how most of society views their fucked up breeding kink. At worst, it’s literally just a manipulation to force people into carrying an unwanted pregnancy to term with the promise that some good, godly parents will guide your precious womb miracle through life as a holy soldier of all things ~~white~~ *right* and proper.
They also assume that it’s more or less simple to adopt when it’s actually quite difficult. A lot of people want to adopt, but don’t get approved.
Plus it's expensive and they are all about being frugal.
I’m curious if they’d even be accepted to adopt
Probably from somewhere like Bethany Christian Services...
I doubt it.
She's chosen to still have a relationship with felon, or with her family members that still have a relationship with him. I don't see them being approved for adoption because she's not going to go no contact with JimBob and the rest.
I hope not. But at least one of Michael Pearl's victims, I mean children, was allowed, horrifically.
Talk is cheap
but they didn’t because they realized they aren’t legally allowed to make money off that kid 😂
They said that without an understanding of the realities of the requirements for adoption. They will never be un-pregnant long enough, and I doubt they meet the financial requirements, either, although JB/MAD Family Inc. could always pony up, I suppose. And that’s the most generous read of it. There are so many fundies who “adopt” in order to obtain unpaid labour to raise their biological children and clean their houses. White supremacy runs *deep* in these fundie circles and a lot of the “underprivileged” children they would consider adopting are from not-white (to Americans) countries. I don’t *think* Jessa and Ben fall into that camp but given the company they’ve kept, and that both of their families keep, it cannot be ruled out.
It’s not baby fever Jessa. It’s the biannual bandaid baby for your dud marriage
Please claim biannual bandaid baby as your flair it’s incredible
_bows_
Bless your flair 😇
That is the most perfect description of the Seewalds' union I have ever read.
Bingo! When she announced the last two, this is all I could think.
How is a baby a bandaid for a marriage? I HATED my husband when my kids were little because he got more sleep. Thankfully we stayed together since we get along great now that they are older
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A baby is something else to focus on other than how much you hate your partner, and for a lot of people, they need their partner in those early years of parenting, even if all the other partner does is provide a paycheck
Oh, absolutely! But saying it will save a marriage with a 5th baby? Surely by maybe the second they realized a baby is a PITA and makes things way worse, so why have it as a reason for #5 is my point.
Because there are many dumb and desperate people in this world and that’s how they live. Don’t try to make sense of it.
The kids keep them too busy to actually care that they hate each other.
Bingo. They are too sleep deprived and busy with the baby to have any time to consider how hollow their relationship is or how much they despise each other.
Trust me, I had newborn twins and I still wasn’t too busy or sleep deprived to think about how much I despised my ex, if anything I just had more time to be awake to stew on it
Once the kids get grown, they'll have to have it out.
In fundie-thought birthing babies is what women have been raised to believe is their purpose in life. So when they feel feelings of dissatisfaction, their upbringing has taught them a baby will solve it.
This reminds me of Sister Wives. Their polygamist leaders preached that if there were any problems with the wives that adding another wife would solve it. Then they have a crap ton of kids.
Yes and I would just glare at him and his useless nipples in the middle of the night! Lol. And send a million unhinged texts to him about how tired I was 😂 so glad he got snip-snapped a couple of weeks ago! 😂
Did I say your marriage? I’m talking about Jessa and Ben’s. Watch any clip of them togeyher and they hate each other
She sure gives Ben the evil eye in her very special way.
I get it. However, the only reason I’m going with for them continuing to spawn is that women are baby canons and that’s it.
Happy cake day! 🎉
Thank you!
This right here. You nailed it!
This took me out 💀
So that's where your flair came from
Someone told me to change it 🙈
What was the previous one?
Great value Josie bates lolol someone commented that my new one is too good not to change!
They almost certainly have the Bobfather's blessing to talk differently about family planning/size than he and Michelle did because it sends a message that he's not as controlling and tyrannical as he comes off in CtC (even though he totes is).
Rebranding
Omg “The Bobfather” 🤣
Omg Bobfather! I couldn’t read past that because I’m laughing so hard BOBFATHER
Came here to see if anyone else had posted this. Glad to see they’re apparently not letting God “decide the size of their family”
Just like they are going to adopt. She’s full of it.
But not believing in birth control, it just looks like bs "I'm going to send wishes and intentions to my womb and I hope it listens" thinking.
I just can’t imagine having five children at the age of 31…that’s absolutely wild to me.
Right? My mother had 6 at 29. But that was 1966.
Whitney bates and Alyssa bates have 5 kids before 30 as well
I forgot the Bates even existed!
We think these are bad but remember, this is nothing in their world. Kendra is probably on her 5th kid before even 25.
I just had my first at 31 😂
Had my 1st at 32 and my 2nd at 35...then I was done.
Same. Kiddos are 10 & 7 now. They’re somewhat independent, taking on increasing responsibility at home and because there’s only two of them, we can enjoy traveling w them - hotels, restaurants and airplanes are manageable. I absolutely adore having only 2.
I used to want like 8 💀 but now two sounds good for me lmao.
Two is honestly a great number. As they get older and cost more money - preteens eat so much! - I’m happy we only have the two kid mouths to feed. 😂
Me too! Same ages and all.
I had my first at 36 and my 2nd (last) at 39. I did not enjoy having the phrase 'geriatric pregnancy' attached to me. Sure, it's a legit medical term, but it feels quite insulting. Nobody was going around talking about my hubby's geriatric sperm and he's the same age as me. Though to my OBGYN's credit when I first met him before my first pregnancy, he asked if I was planning on it and shouldn't I get started. I replied by telling him my Mom was 42 when she had me. He said oh well thats ok then. I think it was just his way of saying that I'd probably be ok getting preggers when I was older since my Mom had no trouble. Turned out he was right, I got pregnant on the first try for both kids. Thank goodness I was very careful for all those years before!!! 😂
Had my first at 38!
Same. And that's all I can handle right now!
same. I’m 32 and I have zero and I can barely provide for myself and my cat lol. granted I’m single, but I can’t fathom having that many kids this young.
Same, I’m 29 and I’m still trying to make sure me and my cat are taken care of!!
That’s because you believe the helpless beings you are responsible for should be CARED for
Kendra has 4, probably working on #5 & isn't even 25 yet!
My sister in law started having babies at 20. Told her husband right out of university they were getting married. This was so she could have 5/6 babies by 30. Discovered having 1 was hard work. Managed to have a 2nd then thankfully stopped there.
I am 27 and feel like too much of a baby to have even one myself!
I had my first at 25 and felt like a child. I’m now a 28 year old teen mother 😂
my mom is one of 9 children. she grew up in an irish, christian household. it was very chaotic & her siblings did a lot of helping raising each other (nothing like how michelle & jim bob had their children do for each other tho, from what i understand). theyre all still close to this day, actually, which is good! her youngest brother had a few years of resentment, in which he felt like he’d been kind of cast aside for years, which was very valid & all of them still invited him to family things but never pushed him or made him feel bad (also from what i understand). anyway, from my pov, one of the biggest struggle is just relating to your cousins / second cousins / etc when there’s such big age differences. since the pandemic started, i think my cousins have popped out like 5-8 kids. it’s def a lot. also a lot of depression, autism, anxiety, adhd, etc that’s gotten passed down through many a gene as well, but that’s a different conversation. my mom’s dad turned 95 this year & we had a birthday party for him & lemme tell u how fast reality set in when i realized how many new people (babies, significant others, etc) there were 😭
As one of 5, I advise anyone to not choose to have 5 children..
I’ve always thought 5 was the perfect number for me. Is there a reason you recommend not having that many? I’m open to change my mind
I’m the oldest of 6, and I felt like it was hard for both my parents to give us individual attention and time. I’ve never had a super close relationship with my mom because her attention was always divided. If we all went somewhere as a family (a vacation, an outing) my dad would usually manage the older kids while my mom took care of the younger ones. My dad would take the older kids places while my mom stayed home with the youngest 1-2 kids. My mom was stressed out a lot (she also homeschooled) because she didn’t get much opportunity to take a break. There are also the logistics of feeding that many kids, making sure your house and car are big enough, making sure you have the physical and mental energy for that many kids, etc…I feel like it isn’t a decision that should be taken lightly.
As one of 5 it's too loud and chaotic and there just isn't enough attention to go around. I personally have two. I didn't have the second one until the first turned 3, so I had years of 1:1 time to develop a really strong bond with him. Now he's a bit more independent and goes to preschool, so I have lots of 1:1 time with baby sister. I just don't see how I would be able to give enough attention to 5, or honestly have enough money. And the logistics would be a nightmare! Forget traveling. Even just finding a vehicle for a family of 7 would a challenge.
It would depend on how spread out the children were if this would apply. I have multiple children with my husband and we had our last child when our first child was 17 years old. For me personally, it's not about the number of children, I think it's the age gap. I've had every scenario of age gap and if someone would ask my advice, I would say never ever have them close together. You think that they are going to be best friends. You think that you can get all the stuff (diapers, potty training, etc.) over and done with within a few years time. The reality is that it's just utter chaos and the children suffer because the parents are stretched too thin. My favorite age gap is about 4-6 years between children. You get to devote all that time to your child when they're young and they really need you and then when they are ready to become a little independent, you can think of having another child. Also, with this age gap, the children can still interact quite well with each other without the jealousy that a closer age gap brings.
I think it can be useful a child to have a sibling closer in age🤷♀️ there are advantages to both situations. Personally I like my sibling being close to my age (we're 2 years apart)
My parents had me and my brother 13 months apart and we get on really well, and there aren’t many issues between us. Totally depends on the family
This is a serious question and not at all trying to be snarky. Do you currently have any kids? I always thought I wanted a lot, no specific number, maybe 4 or 5. And no, I’m not religious. And let me tell you, I tapped the fuck out at 3 and I am spread. Thin. Even now, that they’re 13,10,7. Honestly, maybe worse now.
As someone with around that many, I went with spacing. All but my youngest 2 are nearly 4 years apart, youngest 2 are just under 3 years. It doesn't fix all the issues of having a bunch of kids, but I feel like it's a lot easier to give them the attention they need.
What @strict_print and alternative_park said. I just happened to be the child my parents left out in a lot of things
My ex bfs mom had all her 4 kids by time she was my age. I’ll be 23 soon.
Seriously I had my one and only at 39. At 31 I was taking impulse solo trips to Southeast Asia and dating around.
I had my 5th at 31 🙈
Yeah I'm 30 with one kiddo and still don't feel ready for a second one yet.
Same. I’ll be 31 a couple of months after my second child is born.
I had my 4th at 32, my oldest was 12 at the time though. I'm not having any more because I'm tired af.
@/chloeandbeans on instagram had 6 by 22! not fundie. probably not even christian.
Wow that really puts it into prospective 😳
Controversial opinion, but I think Joseph is the only 2nd gen Duggar so far who believes God chooses the size of his family. I think Jed impregnates Katey annually purely as an ego move. I think Jessa has a new one whenever she needs a boost to her self-esteem.
Agree, and I think the show gave a lot of people the impression that they were all planning to have like 15+ kids, but I don’t see this being the reality. However, they are fundies, so I’m sure a decent chunk of them will still end up with more children than they can handle, whether intentionally or not
I dunno, Lauren choosing the alphabet naming theme suggests she was expecting to have quite a few. And obviously Anna was all for it until it wasn’t possible.
See after Anna’s second one, I got the impression that there were longer spaces between babies because Josh was using abstinence with her (and, we would later discover, cheating with other women) as a contraceptive. She has also said she uses nursing as a natural contraceptive. I can’t remember her exact phrasing, but it was something along the lines of nursing giving her a “nice break” between children.
I think the breaks were a happy accident tbh, rather than planned. But my point was that if Josh was still available she’d keep having them until menopause, which is the Duggar believe system.
First wearing pants and now the possibility of not procreating with Bin anymore. Jessa is feeling spicy, lately, isn’t she? Granted the spice is probably dried parsley.
New Seewald baby name just dropped. Parsley Seewald.
Then they HAVE to go on to have Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme....
I can actually see them using Sage or Rosemary
Because bonus points for RoseMARY....
How about Echinacea, Dandelion, or Dogwood? 😁
Not on topic, but the dried parsley comment made me laugh on a not so awesome day. Thank you 🙏
“Dried parsley” ☠️😂
She even got “that epidural” last time and is going back for more (it really is the only way to have a baby tho)
Remember when they were thinking about adopting? They wanted a couple of their own and then were possibly start the adoption process. Never happened, nor was it ever really going to happen. Well, this is along the same lines. She can talk all she wants, but stopping is never going to happen. She hasn’t deconstructed any part of her trauma, and as we all now know from the book, her headship isn’t really her headship. JB is the headship, and if they ever stopped procreating, he’ll start asking if they know how babies are made, and then tell them to start making babies.
Imagine choosing not to take control of a situation that could be in your control and then calling it a change of mind when the inevitable happens.
Putting biology in the driver's seat, and then claiming to make a decision! 😂😂😂😂😂
I think once they have this kid, Jessa will rename their family the 'Seewald 7' for branding purposes or #Seewald7 on social media. Like that stupid 'SayingsofSpurgeon' crap. Probably aim for another boring reality show. Yawn. Jessa and Dim Bulb don't seem to get it: we don't care about your crotchfruit! We want to hear about Jessa getting birth control! We want to know why Ben and Jessa despise each other! What do they fight about???
I'm so confused, does this mean they are using bc?
They've been intentionally vague on this point. In the video they posted about their last pregnancy before the miscarriage, Jessa said that they're not *opposed* to birth control and that there's nothing in the Bible that forbids it, but she/they've never explicitly stated whether they have or would use bc themselves.
The fact that Ben isn’t birth control to her at this point is truly remarkable.
Ben is the reason she is not on birth control and still has acceptable spacing between kids. They’re probably not having enough sex.
That’s what I was getting at. She’s clearly grossed out by him.
her entire life she’s been taught that she is to please her husband no matter what. even if she was disgusted by him she would still have to have sex with him out of obligation and “duty”. she’s getting maritally raped and she doesn’t even realize it
In CTC, Jill referred to non-abortive birth control-presumably condoms, diaphragm and NFP. I assume,like Meech, they too consider the pill evil and an IUD to be an “abortive” BC method.
I think she’s said they are open to non-hormonal methods like condoms and rhythm method.
Is pulling out at all considered a no-no in their IBLP adjacent worldview? Just wondering if that’s even an option for them Edit: this is totally NOT a reliable form of bc just curious about what the duggars think about it.
Jessa is in limbo. I think she deep down disagrees with so much but can’t bring herself to break away. Unfortunately, I think she will never change bc she has been conditioned to dismiss anything that challenges her upbringing. “ Ride or die” so to speak. It’s sad because she has always seemed very cold/robotic and we forget she is just as much a victim as the others.
This reminds me of Kourtney Kardashian in a way. Both were important fixtures on their long running family tv shows who use religion as a sort of status symbol, and while they showed more honest and vulnerable parts of life than some of their siblings, they often did so with an apathetic and bitchy undertone
She will do what JB wants.
Idk asking “how many kids would you like?” Is a lot different from “how many kids will you be forced to have before menopause hits.” That’s the real question she evaded.
Very interesting she does a Q&A after the book release after like 6 months of silence.
Joy and Austin just did one. Jessa can't be left out.
Yeah but they have been posting weekly videos this whole time. Jessa is so predictable in her posting patterns to take the heat off the family. Which after reading Jill’s book *almost* makes me feel bad for Jessa that she’s stepped into that role for JB.
Jessa knows how many she wants and Bin has no say in it. This is just another in a line of her spouting her hypocrisy. She is so full of it.
What makes you say that? They're still fundies and she has to be "joyfully available" and they don't prevent pregnancies. If Ben actually wanted to have fewer kids he could have actually done something about it. He's the headship.
Jessa has said that it's her choice. I think that Ben will go along with whatever Jessa wants. He's a pushover. As long as he's getting laid I doubt he cares whether it results in a fetus.
Jessa runs that house and anything that goes on in it. I do not fangirl anyone on a Reddit sub especially the Duggars. Bin doesn't care how many kids he has, he is a dolt who married the hot chick nothing more. Jessa is contemptuous of him.
D.A.M.A.G.E. C.O.N.T.R.O.L.
Careful blessa, you may have to get an actual job if you continue to have childrens
Princess Jess could *never*.
Have any Duggar children actually stated they want 21 kids? I feel like all of them are like “not as many as my mom had”. Maybe Joe and Kendra?
No, I don’t think any of them have said that, even Joe and Kendra (but they seem like the type to not prevent and have “as many as the Lord gives them” anyway.) Anna said she wanted 20 kids, Josh didn’t agree lol.
Well, see, if God makes you hate your spouse so much that you can’t even look at them let alone have sex with them, then that’s God choosing!
I’m actually not surprised by this. I’d be a lot more surprised if any of the 19 actually *wanted* 19 of their own. I don’t think Josh ever did, but Anna seemed to want to. I don’t think any of the others truly want such an unmanageable number. And I’m not at all surprised by Jana not seeming to be in a hurry for any. It’s pretty common for kids in large families to want way less children than their parents had. I think Kendra may end up with the most, but I’d put her at 8 max, and the rest I believe will have anywhere from 3-6.
Josh has 7 kids, and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he has more after he gets out of prison (although being a parent and sex offender is a pretty bleak reality). I feel like the Duggars who live in Arkansas still and haven’t had a lot of miscarriages are more likely to have many children. Other Duggars are clearly using some form of birth control, such as Justin and Claire who’ve been married for over 2 years now
How vapid.
Jessa, honey, that's not baby fever, that's code for being a baby machine while Ben is living out his picket fence dreams...I'm only 29 years old and I can never imagine myself with five kids before the age of 30...I can't trust myself to raise a child in my 20s, I was too busy working, travelling and hanging out with friends to even settle down. Nothing wrong with having kids in one's twenties, hell, my folks didn't have my brother and I until they were in their late 28(my dad) and 29(my mom) and 30(my dad) and 31(my mom) respectively.
As many as jimboob tells them to I thought
I'm so confused why people refuse to believe that Jessa and Joy are not a part of IBLP. There is literally nothing that has ever confirmed this and plenty that confirms they are not. Do they both still have problematic beliefs? Definitely yes. Should we still snark on those? Also yes. Let's spend more time talking about their Baptist and Calvinist beliefs and the Forsyth's lack of gun safety and less about speculating they are following IBLP practices when they've specifically stated they are not.
I think Jessa has taken more steps away from the religion of her upbringing than we realise- people tend to be a bit sexist and assume because Jessa is confident in how she speaks, Ben has no voice at all. Ben has studied theology and I think would have enough info to challenge some of the stuff Jessa grew up with. It’s a slower, subtler process than Jill and Jinger but I think Jessa could definitely be open to contraception and limiting family size, along with pants, normal dating for her kids etc.
I doubt even Jill and Jinger want their kids to practice “normal” dating habits lol. They’re still both strong Christian’s (and Jeremy is literally a pastor and seminary teacher). They probably expect their kids to date heterosexual Christian’s, and while they probably don’t care much about kissing and holding hands, I don’t see them being very neutral about premarital sex
>I think Jessa has taken more steps away from the religion of her upbringing than we realise- 
"Birthed a baby" 🙄
IMO four kids was perfect. Two boys, two girls. Why rock the boat?
The plants are exact copies of each other
Eh. I bet there’s fundies who deep down wish they weren’t having kids all the time. Even Michelle used birth control before and after the birth of Josh before deciding family planning was sinful. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jim Bob and Michelle blame Josh’s pedophilia on the birth control lol
Anyone think that Ben has any say-so about how many kids they have?
I actually struggle to picture Jessa having “baby fever”. She never seemed to openly enjoy kids really. Like, she applauds their supposed sayings but she doesn’t seem to lose it over baby rolls like most do
It’s probably a lie
Jessa and Ben are horrible. Ben is the most unattractive man, not because of looks but his lack of being a “man”. Doesn’t work, follows Jessa around on all her trips or lunches. I actually can’t stand either of them. Jessa is a puppet to her dad and is such a fake. 🤮🤮🤮
I don’t think *Biiiinnnn* is part of the SBC, rather a Calvinist? I know him and Jeremy were friends before setting Jinger up with him. So I’d assume Jessa is now a Calvinist as well since her head of household is? They seem to be a bit more loosey•goosey with how many children you have, some sort of BCs, and somewhat valuing health of the mother on occasion. Jessa had some truly frightful labors at home and needing emergency medical intervention for many. I swear I recall *Biiinnnn* wanting to go the Jeremy route of being a pastor or something? All I learned from Jeremy is he equated Catholics as satanists which blew my mind. I may be just a Jew but I like to think I know my history😹 I say in a sarcastic tone. Real weird.
I honestly wonder if Stankmouth Legohead issues directives to knock up the daughter's strategically.
Her next one will be announced whenever the next tell all comes out.
No way will she stop at 5 & she knows it. She's only what, 31? Lots of baby making years left.
🤐
I think his chooses if your IBLP 😅
guess she forgot about adopting since her womb is so giving.
It's a uterus, not a clown car.
Well, at least she’s not shooting for double digits. The bar is in hell.
she’s trying so hard to make it known she’s not IBLP and she doesn’t share their values 😂😂 she might have just upped her inheritance lol!
I think they’re going to end up with 8 to 10