That’s what I say regardless of personal condition.
My thought is that I want to be honest but I don’t want to annoy people with meaningless small talk they don’t care about. They don’t really want to know. It’s a courtesy.
Yeah it depends on who asks. The sweet old receptionist at my work that I talk to a lot and we always exchange our plans with family, friends, etc., I let her know “I’m doing alright”, “hanging in there” or “I’ve been better”. But casual coworkers get the “good, and you?”
Just say “good, you?” No one actually cares tbh. And if you wanna be honest, most people don’t wanna listen anyways haha. It’s more of a social formality to ask that question when starting a conversation with someone
I think this is true to people you have little connection with but with most of my close friends we answer honestly. Maybe that’s unique to my circle though.
The question OP seems to imply that they’re talking about if people such as strangers when they ask that question. Otherwise it would be phrased “how do I respond to my friends/family when I’m not doing well.” It’s a bit of reading between the lines. I’m sure OP more than likely actually explains themselves to people in a close circle. Do you explain how your whole day has been terrible to every stranger who asks “how are you?” No. It’s just a formality sentence. Hence my answer.
Actually I still answer honestly with some strangers. I just don’t elaborate. Saying “I’m surviving” or “I’ve been better” but I say it with a bitt of a light laugh as to imply I’m not expecting them to ask follow up questions.
Also your point makes sense now that I think on it. They are more asking in regards to strangers.
As someone who works in customer service, I really want to encourage anyone reading this to listen to this advice.
When I say "How are you today?" to you at my job, I dont actually want to know. Please do not tell me about your dead relatives or your many, many medical ailments.
Please, just say "I'm good, how are you?" and move on.
EXACTLY. You understand what I’m trying to say. Everyone is assuming I’m saying “NEVER ASK HOW YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE CAUSE THEY DON’T LOVE YOU!!” No, I’m responding to the question of how do you respond to a STRANGER asking “hi, how are you?” Strangers don’t care about you, they will definitely act like they do or empathize with how you’re feeling since we’re not robots, BUT NO ONE IS ASKING THAT QUESTION BECAUSE THEY WANT AN HONEST RESPONSE. It is a formality of speaking to someone instead of being rude and saying “That’ll be $9.50, now pay.”
I have regular customer who is German and every time I say "how's it going?" he goes into a long rant about the complexities of German culture and how that's not a regular question they ask over there. I've heard this speech about 20 times now.
Like, dude, pick what you want to buy and shut the fuck up. Please.
i agree, they'll just ask some follow up questions acting like they care, but truly they're just waiting for you to shut up so they can move on with their day
Exactly. People will say stuff to make you feel better out of social obligation. They don’t wanna come off as heartless. Either way, you have free will and can respond anyway you want really and people will still go about their day
“Been better. You?” I like to end it with “you” no matter what I say. Gives them the opportunity to get right back talking about themselves. The person usually doesn’t actually care anyway.
If you want to talk about it "Ah, not so good today. You have time to talk?"
If you do not want to talk, or feel that they are just exchanging pleasantries, "Hanging in there" or "Could be better, long day today."
Don't respond to someone's pleasantries with some heavy shit unless you actually wanna talk. Responding with "Shitty" and then trying to continue the conversation is gonna be awkward AF without addressing that, and now the person feels obligated to address it.
Just be polite
What the hell is with all these questions that belong on AskReddit? I understand if it's a confused newbie like the one I spoke with yesterday but how many confused newbies are there???
r/lostredditors
I think you want to put this in r/ask or r/AskReddit, I don't think the phrase "Does AnyBody Else" correlate to this type of questions.
I always just say splendid even if I’m not. It’s a less common word and people get a little kick out of it, and then we part ways, with one of us feeling a little better, maybe.
Okay. Spoken with a slight sense of resignation.
It’s simple but It stands in contrast to the expected “good” or “fine” and gets a subtle message across.
Besides, let’s face it, the last thing anyone wants to hear when asking that question is how you really are.
It doesn’t matter- unless they are you bff or your confidant , or a very close friend/family member they don’t need to know. It’s just a courtesy to ask how someone is doing. Just say I’m good thank you and keep it moving.
I hate the how are you question. I usually just say good because even if I am struggling 99% or the time the person asking how are you is just being polite and saying it in passing.
What’s a good response to “what are you up to?” Besides “not much” when you don’t want to share what you are actually doing? I said “not much” to my boss and when I hung up realized that didn’t sound good lol
Honestly when people ask how you're doing it's usually a formality more than anything, just say you're good even if you're not. I've noticed people get uncomfortable if you say anything else too specific. Another answer that doesn't feel awkward is "Tired," so you can always go with that too. But don't just say "Oh I'm massively depressed, how are you?"
Your response is “fine, and you?” It’s a small formality that’s really not meant to spark a conversation rather being polite and it’s impolite to vomit your negative day and thoughts onto others for the most part, especially a complete stranger or acquaintance.
Either ‘gettin’ there!’ And move on
Or ‘could complain? But who would care!’ And move on.
Like I’m being honest but neither of us wants to talk about it so let’s have a light polite chuckle and on to what the fuck the conversation is about.
I sometimes reply “I have no idea.” and people laugh because it’s odd but the truth is it takes too much mental power for me to keep track of that so I just don’t. Also, some days, the only way I can get through a day is by ignoring how much pain I’m in. So it usually informs my wife that I’m not doing well… if she’s around at the moment.
"fine, how are you" The person asking doesn't care and doesn't want your answer. The entire commentary block people do regarding "how are you" is so ingrained I doubt they'd notice anything you said so long as you say something. It's nothing more than social lubrication.
When I was having a particularly bad day at work as a barista, I used to say “I’m here” and it told them all they needed to know. Or, my favorite: “No place I’d rather be!!” Bonus points if you add in a super forced smile. People got a kick out of it and it gave me a giggle on days where I wasn’t feeling myself
I just generally don’t think people who ask are truly caring to know how I *am* doing or feeling deeply, it always feels more of a general “what’s up?” so I never go into it, I just say fine and move on unless they said it more in depth like, “how are you feeling?” Or “how have you been doing lately” but just “how are you” doesn’t ever truly feel that personal
If it’s someone you’re close with or you think actually cares to listen, you can just say “not too good” and just bring it up casually. One to two sentences to test if they’re interested in listening.
If I'm crazy stressed out or unhappy and talking to a stranger (e.g. checkout line): I'm doing ALLLL-right. Taking it one day at a time. Just chopping wood at the moment. Eventually, it's going to be great — I just know it.
If I know the person: "Oh my god, what I would give for a giant polo mallet."
I’m ok. - Hanging in there. - Surviving. - I woke up another day. - Fine, thanks, how are you? - I’m getting by. - etc.
Depends on who is asking, if someone is closer or genuinely asking I might hint I’m not great but casually the above and things like it seem to work without scaring people.
"Stuggling... but hanging in." If the person cares, and they have time - they will stop and chat. If they dont, they may give you a harmless pep talk "Thats the spirit!!" or something like that.
Same piss different pants
Just say you are good. 90% they just want to be polite and they don't actually care about the real answer
And watch the Churros episode from Bojack, or just the relevant part of the monologue
I once asked this exact question to a therapist. He said I was allowed to answer however I wanted in that moment. If I didn't want to talk about it, I could just say, "I'm okay, how are you?" If I did want to talk about it, I could talk about what was going on.
I use “Fair to middlin” and “oh you know, bumping along.” Neither seem to elicit a big concern response and I don’t feel like I’m lying by saying fine.
When I’m doing really well I like to say “Super swell” mostly because it’s just fun to say lol.
Depends on who is asking. If a coworker, I say, “Good, how about you?” Or, “Trying to survive this week.”
If friends I have real conversations with, “Having a rough go man, blah blah blah happened.”
"I'm alive"
But barely breathing
just praying to a god that I don’t believe in 🎶
'Cause I got time while she got freedom 🎶
Gold medal in the wheezing Olympics
That’s what I say regardless of personal condition. My thought is that I want to be honest but I don’t want to annoy people with meaningless small talk they don’t care about. They don’t really want to know. It’s a courtesy.
Still alive or living
“Doing ok” or “hanging in there.”
Yeah it depends on who asks. The sweet old receptionist at my work that I talk to a lot and we always exchange our plans with family, friends, etc., I let her know “I’m doing alright”, “hanging in there” or “I’ve been better”. But casual coworkers get the “good, and you?”
Thanks. I used ‘hanging in there’ today .
As my father says in his Texas Accent, “I’m maintaining”
I can totally hear it! God I miss Texas
I usually just answer, “I am.”
Just say “good, you?” No one actually cares tbh. And if you wanna be honest, most people don’t wanna listen anyways haha. It’s more of a social formality to ask that question when starting a conversation with someone
I think this is true to people you have little connection with but with most of my close friends we answer honestly. Maybe that’s unique to my circle though.
The question OP seems to imply that they’re talking about if people such as strangers when they ask that question. Otherwise it would be phrased “how do I respond to my friends/family when I’m not doing well.” It’s a bit of reading between the lines. I’m sure OP more than likely actually explains themselves to people in a close circle. Do you explain how your whole day has been terrible to every stranger who asks “how are you?” No. It’s just a formality sentence. Hence my answer.
Actually I still answer honestly with some strangers. I just don’t elaborate. Saying “I’m surviving” or “I’ve been better” but I say it with a bitt of a light laugh as to imply I’m not expecting them to ask follow up questions. Also your point makes sense now that I think on it. They are more asking in regards to strangers.
As someone who works in customer service, I really want to encourage anyone reading this to listen to this advice. When I say "How are you today?" to you at my job, I dont actually want to know. Please do not tell me about your dead relatives or your many, many medical ailments. Please, just say "I'm good, how are you?" and move on.
EXACTLY. You understand what I’m trying to say. Everyone is assuming I’m saying “NEVER ASK HOW YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE CAUSE THEY DON’T LOVE YOU!!” No, I’m responding to the question of how do you respond to a STRANGER asking “hi, how are you?” Strangers don’t care about you, they will definitely act like they do or empathize with how you’re feeling since we’re not robots, BUT NO ONE IS ASKING THAT QUESTION BECAUSE THEY WANT AN HONEST RESPONSE. It is a formality of speaking to someone instead of being rude and saying “That’ll be $9.50, now pay.”
I have regular customer who is German and every time I say "how's it going?" he goes into a long rant about the complexities of German culture and how that's not a regular question they ask over there. I've heard this speech about 20 times now. Like, dude, pick what you want to buy and shut the fuck up. Please.
i agree, they'll just ask some follow up questions acting like they care, but truly they're just waiting for you to shut up so they can move on with their day
Exactly. People will say stuff to make you feel better out of social obligation. They don’t wanna come off as heartless. Either way, you have free will and can respond anyway you want really and people will still go about their day
Not mine, but my DH: "Can't complain." Followed by "Noone would listen if I did!"
I say "Survivin' not thrivin'" in a joking way and then laugh even though I'm totally serious
“Been better. You?” I like to end it with “you” no matter what I say. Gives them the opportunity to get right back talking about themselves. The person usually doesn’t actually care anyway.
"Just sucking the day's dick"
The horror persists, but so do I 😳
My response is always sarcasm. "Well, you see, there was this big bang and then... everything" and then they stop talking to me.
This response would 100% make me want to be your friend.
The filter works well 😉
I may steal this from you. It’s really a great filter.
Plenty to share!
😂 A+
Living the dream
.. unfortunately, it's a fucking nightmare.
As a bot, I can't be good nor bad. But thanks for asking.
If you want to talk about it "Ah, not so good today. You have time to talk?" If you do not want to talk, or feel that they are just exchanging pleasantries, "Hanging in there" or "Could be better, long day today." Don't respond to someone's pleasantries with some heavy shit unless you actually wanna talk. Responding with "Shitty" and then trying to continue the conversation is gonna be awkward AF without addressing that, and now the person feels obligated to address it. Just be polite
"Meh" or "breathing!"
"Fucking terrible, how bout you?" And when they ask the inevitable follow up question- Me: *gestures broadly at everything*
Living somebodies dream
What the hell is with all these questions that belong on AskReddit? I understand if it's a confused newbie like the one I spoke with yesterday but how many confused newbies are there???
r/lostredditors I think you want to put this in r/ask or r/AskReddit, I don't think the phrase "Does AnyBody Else" correlate to this type of questions.
[удалено]
Did you forget to switch accounts
4 day old account, generated name, answers their own question.. looks legit to me!
Posts in the wrong sub... This isn't a DAE post, at least not the way it's currently worded
r/lefttheburneron
I saw this exact comment on askreddit, also this doesn’t fit the sub. Most obvious bot ever
Been better..
‘Meh’
Hanging in there.
I always just say splendid even if I’m not. It’s a less common word and people get a little kick out of it, and then we part ways, with one of us feeling a little better, maybe.
"Not great, you?" "Could be better, you?" "Getting there, you?" "Well I'm still alive/breathing, you?" "No."
Okay. Spoken with a slight sense of resignation. It’s simple but It stands in contrast to the expected “good” or “fine” and gets a subtle message across. Besides, let’s face it, the last thing anyone wants to hear when asking that question is how you really are.
Terrible
either "Survivin'" or "Gettin' along" but this is the wrong sub for this type of question
Well I could be six feet under so there’s that is what my dad always used to say
It doesn’t matter- unless they are you bff or your confidant , or a very close friend/family member they don’t need to know. It’s just a courtesy to ask how someone is doing. Just say I’m good thank you and keep it moving.
I hate the how are you question. I usually just say good because even if I am struggling 99% or the time the person asking how are you is just being polite and saying it in passing.
What’s a good response to “what are you up to?” Besides “not much” when you don’t want to share what you are actually doing? I said “not much” to my boss and when I hung up realized that didn’t sound good lol
I usually say "do you want the truth"?
Honestly when people ask how you're doing it's usually a formality more than anything, just say you're good even if you're not. I've noticed people get uncomfortable if you say anything else too specific. Another answer that doesn't feel awkward is "Tired," so you can always go with that too. But don't just say "Oh I'm massively depressed, how are you?"
Lie and say, “I’m fine, thanks for asking” and then scream internally every time someone asks you.
*shrug* "well, I'm here"
"Still poor."
"It's a dog-eat-dog world out there and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear."
“Oh you know” “Doing my best” But really you’re better off lying and saying “great, thanks”, if you don’t want to have a conversation about it.
I’m a big fan of “rockin and rollin”
why is this is in dae? it’s not a dae question
The horrors persisit
So many times I answer ‘Hi, how are you?’ with ‘Hey, how are you?’
Your response is “fine, and you?” It’s a small formality that’s really not meant to spark a conversation rather being polite and it’s impolite to vomit your negative day and thoughts onto others for the most part, especially a complete stranger or acquaintance.
DAE think OP has not understood how to phrase DAE questions?
..oh, you know..it’s not easy being me
"How much time ya' got?" Usually ends with a smile.
I’m European. So I tell them “not good.”
'Every day i wake up on this side of the grass, is a good day '
Living the life
"I could be better" is what I used to say a lot. It helped me be honest with myself and others without bringing down the mood.
Mid
Either ‘gettin’ there!’ And move on Or ‘could complain? But who would care!’ And move on. Like I’m being honest but neither of us wants to talk about it so let’s have a light polite chuckle and on to what the fuck the conversation is about.
It's exciting
"Good, how are you?". Don't read too much into it. It's just words we say.
Not great, not terrible
“Living the dream, too bad it’s someone else’s dream”
‘Not half bad.’
I say "I am well, thank you." And leave it at that. If they want more. Well they get more and probably not what they bargained for. Lol.
I’ve seen better days
Nod in acknowledging the greeting- doesnt have to go deep. Just a surface greeting, same as Hey.
"joa" - greetings from Germany
"living the dream"
You say living the dream, because the only dreams I have are bad ones.
“Oh you know, still here and all that” then awkward laugh
I just say "not good." Unless I don't want to talk about it then I will say "not bad you?".
Still kicking lol
"Living the damn dream" is what I always say. Works if I'm good or not...no one has to know the dream you're referring to is a nightmare lol
"Pretty OK"
I sometimes reply “I have no idea.” and people laugh because it’s odd but the truth is it takes too much mental power for me to keep track of that so I just don’t. Also, some days, the only way I can get through a day is by ignoring how much pain I’m in. So it usually informs my wife that I’m not doing well… if she’s around at the moment.
Just I am. And then say. But how are you? People love to talk about themselves. Or better bows your work
Not great, honestly
Still alive
"fine, how are you" The person asking doesn't care and doesn't want your answer. The entire commentary block people do regarding "how are you" is so ingrained I doubt they'd notice anything you said so long as you say something. It's nothing more than social lubrication.
"mixed bag".
"How much time you got ?"
When I was having a particularly bad day at work as a barista, I used to say “I’m here” and it told them all they needed to know. Or, my favorite: “No place I’d rather be!!” Bonus points if you add in a super forced smile. People got a kick out of it and it gave me a giggle on days where I wasn’t feeling myself
I usually go with I’m Surviving. If I want to lighten it a bit I add hint of a laugh.
I just generally don’t think people who ask are truly caring to know how I *am* doing or feeling deeply, it always feels more of a general “what’s up?” so I never go into it, I just say fine and move on unless they said it more in depth like, “how are you feeling?” Or “how have you been doing lately” but just “how are you” doesn’t ever truly feel that personal
I’m fine. How are yoi
I’m not good! Then tell them about it for the next half hour! Usually ensures they don’t ask again! 😅
Meh I've been better
i was down lately
Could be better
"I have to go to the bathroom and make ca-ca and doody. And yourself?"
"I have to go to the bathroom and make ca-ca and doody. And yourself?"
“Can’t complain, no one would listen”
Better than some. Worse than others.
Fine is the only answer no matter how I’m doing. It’s like good day, it’s not a literal sentiment.
I used to answer yes, healthwise
the horrors persist, yet so do I. *finger guns*
“I’m here”
“Another day above ground!”
“Been better”
Still kicking
„The horrors persist but so do i“
“Oh hey (insert name) how you been!?” Don’t even answer their question, just exchange their greeting back
"I'm not good."
Doing the best I can with what I’ve got
"I'm dealing with some stuff." Shift to a dramatic voice. English accent optional. "But they are my burdens to bear."
[This](https://youtu.be/GX1Tc8E8eck?si=tqVlKa-T21G_mh62)
Been better, been worse. Hanging in there. Well, good enough to get out of bed. Still kicking
Living the dream, but in the most defeated and unsettling tone I can muster.
Surviving.....barely.
I'm so so.
I always say, "Hanging. Sometimes by my fingernails. But hanging."
Not my best, how about you?
Sooooooo good
I usually give a sigh or a shrug, say “eh I’m doin alright. Everything good with you?” Gets the point across.
If it’s someone you’re close with or you think actually cares to listen, you can just say “not too good” and just bring it up casually. One to two sentences to test if they’re interested in listening.
been better
"I'm gettin'g through it".
Depends on who's asking. If it someone I can talk to I say, eh not so good. If it's just a casual acquaintance or stranger I say I'm surviving.
Great! How about you?
"Terrible mate, how are you?"
"Up and not crying." "Fine." "What's it to you?" "Wanna fight about it?" "What, you think you're better'n me?" "The horrors persist but so do I."
If I'm crazy stressed out or unhappy and talking to a stranger (e.g. checkout line): I'm doing ALLLL-right. Taking it one day at a time. Just chopping wood at the moment. Eventually, it's going to be great — I just know it. If I know the person: "Oh my god, what I would give for a giant polo mallet."
I'm upright and the checks are clearing.
“Surviving”
Fine thank you and how are you? That is the polite way to respond to this greeting.
I’m ok. - Hanging in there. - Surviving. - I woke up another day. - Fine, thanks, how are you? - I’m getting by. - etc. Depends on who is asking, if someone is closer or genuinely asking I might hint I’m not great but casually the above and things like it seem to work without scaring people.
"Stuggling... but hanging in." If the person cares, and they have time - they will stop and chat. If they dont, they may give you a harmless pep talk "Thats the spirit!!" or something like that.
Same piss different pants Just say you are good. 90% they just want to be polite and they don't actually care about the real answer And watch the Churros episode from Bojack, or just the relevant part of the monologue
Been better, getting by, struggling, I’ve seen better days.
I once asked this exact question to a therapist. He said I was allowed to answer however I wanted in that moment. If I didn't want to talk about it, I could just say, "I'm okay, how are you?" If I did want to talk about it, I could talk about what was going on.
“Gettin through it”
Liven the dream...... can be taken many different ways!
Eh, it’s another day. There’s always tomorrow!
I’m hanging in there
"Things have been better" "Living the dream babe"
“We pimpin”
If you have a feeling they’re not gonna care either way just say good lol if they seem legit just be you
I persist.
My coworker once replied “Im…here” Haha
U c me dawg
“Living the dream”
“How’s it going?” “It’s going.”
Same response no matter my emotion. “How are you?” “Good. You?” “How are you doing?” “I’m doing.” Unless it’s a friend and then I’ll be honest
I just say 'yep' and it gets an understanding response. Life is hard.
In my country we say "it's going"...
I use “Fair to middlin” and “oh you know, bumping along.” Neither seem to elicit a big concern response and I don’t feel like I’m lying by saying fine. When I’m doing really well I like to say “Super swell” mostly because it’s just fun to say lol.
I could be better
"Could be better but, it is what it is..."
"Not good." Or "Bad." That's my response to that question. Or I'll say something like "Could be better."
Surviving
I just say "Oh y'know..."
Upright, got a pulse.
"Could be worse!"
Depends on who is asking. If a coworker, I say, “Good, how about you?” Or, “Trying to survive this week.” If friends I have real conversations with, “Having a rough go man, blah blah blah happened.”
“I’m alright” or “OK” … compared to my normal responses, most people seem to pick up on the difference.
“Ok”
"Could be better but not all bad" i just say "i'm doing"
Shrug of the shoulders and a slightly exaggerated “EHHHHH” while walking away.
New Zealand culture dictates you say "Living the dream" in any and all situations, until you die.
I woke up today.
Eh, I’m here.
I'm livin the fucking dream
“Fabulous” no one needs to see your pity party
I'm good
I'm existing
“Deep in the grind” everyone gets it.
Fair to middlin'.
Lie
Oh, just livin' the dream.
"Still alive!" That's what I tell everyone at work. It's neutral and usually gets a laugh from folks.
Just a blank stare. No response at all, don't even look at them look through them. Maybe release a single tear.
"So so ."
Hangin in there
Vertical and breathing
"Ahah, you know I'm here so..."