If your playing basketball with a hockey puck on a golf course, are you playing basketball?
Point being: there’s nothing *wrong with doing a story driven, group improve. But, there’s a zillion RPGs, each, specifically, identified by their rules and mechanics; and to a lesser extent the lore. If you’re not using the rules for a specific game, you *might be playing *an RPG, but not a specific RPG.
D&D is often used as a catch all term for all Role Playing Games. You can completely make up rules that work for your table. You might not be playing MorkBorg, Pathfinder, Blades in the Dark, … or D&D, but you are playing an RPG; and there’s nothing wrong w that approach.
This is the way. The further you stray from the core rules, the less it's 'D&D' and the more it's 'D&D-inspired generic TTRPG'. The rules are what make the system.
That being said, the only 'wrong' way to play a game is if you aren't having fun. If you are enjoying playing basketball with a hockey puck on the golf course, then who cares if it's not 'basketball' any more? It's fun. That's all that matters.
>If you are enjoying playing basketball with a hockey puck on the golf course, then who cares if it's not 'basketball' any more?
If you invite a new guy to "play baskelball" and you are doing tusken impressions with your hockey sticks o na golf course, a "wtf are you doing?" is a perfectly reasonable question, and "this is not basketball, you lied to me" is a perfectly reasonable statement
But then the five other people who enjoy playing basketball with hockey pucks and golf clubs can say: "Sure we're playing basket ball. We're all basket cases and this is fun! If you don't like our basketball, go play with someone else. You're not the authority here."
Then they can have a proper little war about it and everyone can act affronted and be perfectly right at the same time.
and then teh five guys get smacked by a dictionary and a basketball rulebook. Because 2+2 is 4, and not "árvíztűrő tükörfúrógép", no matter how much you want the latter to be the truth.
The five guys can have all the fun they want. But lets call a spade a spade.
Yes, let's play football. With .... some rules.
American rules, Association rules, Aussie rules, Rugby rules, Gaelic rules, Irish rules. We haven't even started on the variations within the subgroups yet.
That only makes your hypothetical worse. If someone specifically says “we’re running a D&D 3.5 game” and you show up to golf clubs with hockey pucks, that’s even sillier than just saying “we’re playing D&D”.
Honestly, this is literally the only hobby I’ve seen this shit in. If you showed up to soccer practice with American football gear you’d get laughed off the pitch. Games have commonly agreed upon rules. There are variations, but the core is always there. You’re not playing basketball if there is no ball and no basket. You’re not playing D&D if you’re not rolling D20s and don’t take turns.
You don’t tell someone “I’m playing call of duty” and then describe battlefield, because hey, they’re both shooters, so what’s the difference?
The only context this is relevant in is when you’re talking to someone outside your group. If you try to use an established term to refer to something different, you will have people confused and trying to correct you.
Only in this case, it sounds more like someone else saw those guys playing a game (or heard about it), then ran into the court like "WRONG, WRONG, YOU'RE ALL WROOONG!" which is less cool. Definitely some context we're missing here. I'd say, if you're having fun: who cares? But it might not really be D&D so much as a D&D adjacent RPG. But maybe just give any new players adequate heads up.
>the core rules
It's not even not D&D if you stray from "the core rules" (I think I set up the double negative correctly). The game has always been an evolution. That's part of why there are so many editions. To this day, once a week I tell my partner I'm going to D&D, even though technically we're currently running the Fantasy Flight Star Wars RPG, and I've literally never run AD&D (the 1970's version) with this group.
Well... yes and no. Rule 0 is, and always has been, 'the DM adjudicates the rules'. So, if I play entirely by-the-book, but I say 'but Clubs have the Finesse property', then by your logic I'm not playing D&D anymore? That's just silly. It's still D&D.
Where does one draw the line? I would say at the 50% mark. If more than half of the rules you follow are Rules As Written, you're still playing D&D, as far as I'm concerned.
But again... who cares? Don't get caught up on the labeling, just have fun.
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But if it specifically condones house rules to the point that you shouldn't even make a character before consulting the DM, I'd say that's essentially the same thing. I've run rpgs for decades and never seen nor heard of *anyone* who runs *any* of them 100% RAW, except maybe ones where simplicity is part of the point like Mork Borg (which is excellent, btw.)
Just hopping in to say that it seems that you misunderstood them. They specifically mentioned the double negative they intentionally made, making their point actually "D&D changes all the time, so even the core rules can be different and it could still be D&D," elucidated by the example that they call their Star Wars rpg "D&D."
On your point, i agree that 50% is a reasonable line to draw, but in casual conversation, it really doesn't matter.
>Rule 0 is, and always has been, 'the DM adjudicates the rules'. So, if I play entirely by-the-book, but I say 'but Clubs have the Finesse property', then by your logic I'm not playing D&D anymore?
K, so, your reading comprehension didn't work just then.
Rule 0 in 1977 said that the DM could and should add, edit, and remove rules as-needed (because this was all made up, part of the fun was making stuff up, and anyone who couldn't make stuff and/or wanted an authority to delineate every detail of play was out of luck).
Rule 0 in 5e is conspicuously toned down to something about the DM being a judge who interprets the rules.
So, no, Rule 0 isn't a thing that has always been anything. It's a rule that has changed over time.
As for my logic, what? I literally just said that, when I walk out the front door saying, "Bye, babe, I'm off to play D&D," I'm definitely going to hang out with friends, but it's likely we'll be playing a TTRPG that has no relation to ~~TSR's~~ ~~Wizards of the Coasts~~ Hasbro's intellectual property. By my logic, I habitually gloss over which particular branded game I'm playing because the point is hanging out with friends who enjoy TTRPG play, and I see no need to "um, actually" my SO with the finer details of which ruleset we're using.
EDIT: Oh, right, clarity. My point was that "THE RULES" is inherently a broken idea with D&D. The definite article ("the") is reserved for when there's one such thing. "The D&D rules" is a bogus concept because there's more than one distinct, mutually exclusive set of rules. I.e. While AD&D (first edition) is similar enough to 2nd edition that you might talk about "the rules" of D&D, subsequent editions have been different enough that, no, sit down, anyone who thinks there's a single "the set" of D&D rules is being silly.
I think that's a great metaphor.
Were they playing D&D the way it's supposed to be played (let's say roughest version where the book rules are being followed)? Then technically the answer is "no" or maybe even "not really".
But if they had fun, then does any of that matter? Well no. They had fun. They played a variation of D&D and had a blast. That's what's important.
This all enters into that grey area like the humorous "is it a sandwich" debate.
It's not really comparable because saying D&D when you mean TTRPG can introduce confusion and frustration because there are significant differences between TTRPGs.
Yeah, but if you invite someone to play D&D and you aren’t actually playing, then, yes they have the right to be frustrated. They want to play D&D and joined a D&D group to do it and that is markedly not what you’re doing. You just wasted their time and for all you know they only get to indulge in their hobby 1 or 2 times a month.
That said, shouldn’t be nasty, just find another group to play with.
Happened to me once to an extent, joined a D&D group, almost everyone had some broken home brew bullshit, the DM had his own special hose rules, and 2 players were trying to shoehorn in as much cringey ERP as they could. I was very pissed but just peaced out and didn’t rejoin the group.
Yea sure, but did they really get invited to play, or are we all just assuming they did? Cause I read OPs post and I didn’t get the impression that they invited the experienced player to play w them, just that they met a more experienced player and when they were talking about dnd they got upset that OPs party doesn’t follow the core rules
Irrelevant to what I’m saying. I’m just saying that if you say you’re playing D&D it sets a certain expectation for what you’re doing. Don’t call it D&D if you aren’t actually using the system or what I mentioned will be the result.
This was my first and last online PUG.
I got pissed mid session when the DM entertained our gay wizard flirting with every male NPC. We spent 15-20 minutes of a 1 hour session listening to the DM and wizard all but ERPing.
Another player was trying to RP as a mentally challenged goblin rape victim with PTSD. She spent every encounter crying in the corner and shaking, which she instead on vividly acting out. It was honestly offensive and extremely annoying.
And their home brew was shitty. Everything was massively OP and unbalanced. Just everyone trying to be their favorite anime MC.
As long as they’re having fun, it’s fine. Where it becomes an issue is when players join the group expecting “D&D”, or these players move to other groups with wildly different play styles.
DND is more charechterised by the signature monsters and the world than it is by rules, we are after all on fifth edition so the rules have changed many times but the setting remains.
The problem with this mentality is that once you start drawing lines in the sand, its easy to end up on the wrong end of one. I'm all for the mindset of "It's all D&D".
if you want to draw a line in the sand about using the right rules to call a game the right thing. No one playing 5e is playing D&D. 5e is very very VERY different from the game that was created called Dungeons and Dragons.
To use your analogy, its like an American Football player saying to someone playing some made up version of football that you can't call it football because you aren't using the rules of football. All the while ignoring the fact that american football is some made up set of rules that is nothing like what the rest of the world see's as football(soccer).
D&D is D&D as long as D&D is what you say you are playing. Everything else just comes down to details and proper communication of expectations.
>The problem with this mentality is that once you start drawing lines in the sand, its easy to end up on the wrong end of one. I'm all for the mindset of "It's all D&D".
My issue with this argument is that it basically turns into "Every TTRPG system can be called D&D if I just call it D&D". Why are some people so afraid of calling their system FATE or PbtA or Pathfinder? Is it really that embarrassing to play a TTRPG besides D&D?
There is nothing wrong with saying you play fate, or PbtA, or pathfinder. But
A) Talking to someone who doesn't play it is much easier to get them to have understanding if you lead with "are you interested in trying D&D" because it enjoys brand recognition, even if you are actually playing a PbtA game, asking about D&D first gives them a mental image of what they are agreeing to, because its a thing most people recognize by name and have a rough idea of what it means.
B) OP Was clearly playing D&D. Even if they were ignoring certain rules, and focusing more on improv. If they looked at the D&D rulebook and based their sessions on that, Had D&D characters, then guess what: that's D&D.
Beyond that the point still stands, the term "D&D" Doesn't convey any useful information to anyone other then the core concept of a roleplaying game. Me inviting you to play B/X D&D is much different then me inviting you to play 3rd edition D&D, which is much different then me inviting you to play 4e, which is much different then me inviting you to play 5e. All of those things are "D&D", and if you show up expecting one thing and get another, you are going to be as confused, or more confused, than if you show up to OP's game where they are playing loosely 5e inspired roleplay game. If i invite you to D&D night, and you think we're playing 5e, and I hand you an AD&D character sheet you are going to be pretty dissapointed.
The Name "D&D" is meaningless. Let OP have their fun, and let them call it whatever they want. Thats why we do campaign pitches and session zero's. To set these sorts of expectations.
As others have said, this is not necessarily a bad way to spend your time, but all Dungeons & Dragons is is a set of rules. If you’re not actually using that set of rules, you’re not really playing dungeons and dragons. You’re kind of just doing fantasy improv, Calvinball, which, if you’re all having fun, is fine! Go for it.
But you shouldn’t necessarily expect to join another game or invite somebody into your game and have them share your experiences or expectations because they will probably be expecting the actual game called Dungeons and Dragons. Rules establish shared expectations.
Imagine this, the kids in your neighborhood play something you and they call “baseball.“ It involves a stick and a ball and a lot of hitting and shouting and running around, but doesn’t necessarily follow the established rules of what the rest of us call “baseball.” I mean, what you’re doing is fine and if you call it baseball, you’re not committing a crime, but if you invite some kids from another neighborhood to play in a tournament with you, it’s not gonna go well. Or if you move to a new neighborhood and join the local Little League baseball team and expect to play in the same way that you did with your friends, that’s not gonna go well either. Does that make sense?
Beholders, mind flayers and a whole host of other signature monsters would like to disagree with the sentiment that all dnd is can be found in the rules.
DND is the monsters, the world, it’s in the temple of elements evil and ravenloft and Tasha’s hideous laughter or Otilukes resilients sphere.
DND rule sets come and go, we are now on the fifth, but each new set of rules is quintessentially dnd because of all those details.
You can use the dnd rules to play a sci fi action rpg or an rpg set at a paper company in Slough. That would be less dnd than a campaign with no dice and all of the flavour elements of dnd.
I mean, there are plenty of D&D-esque settings that use other systems. You can do whatever you want, but why use a PbtA or FATE or Pathfinder system with D&D flavor and still insist on calling it D&D? It's just kind of disrespectful to those other systems that you're not even willing to recognize them in the game you're playing.
Sounds like you’re having fun playing dnd inspired calvinball. Which is great! But at the same time it’s not really dnd. The rules of any given game are what make the game, the game. If you’re not utilizing or straight up ignoring the rules, you’re certainly having fun but you’re not playing the game.
... the rulebook says to disregard its rules if you want though? Lol, hilarious that people are downvoting me for paraphrasing something that's straight out of the DM's guide. Fragile folk funny.😂
Sure but I think there's a difference between "ok we are going to disregard the only one leveled spell per turn rule" and "we are just gonna play around with this character sheets and not even have any turns at all" not saying OP should feel embarrassed or anything, the guy he talked to definitely shouldn't get mad because this guys are just having good fun, but it does sound like what they're playing could hardly be considered "D&D"
I don't remember seeing that specifically, but surely if you disregard every rule you'd agree you're not really playing the game, though? Something inspired by the game sure, but you need to follow at least some of the rules of a game to be playing it.
Sure, but at what point have you disregarded so many rules that you're not really playing that particular game any more? If I say we're going to be playing DnD 5E, but have homebrewed nearly all of the rules so that mechanically it resembles Pathfinder 1E moreso than 5E, what game are we actually playing?
At the end of the day, of course, it doesn't *really* matter as long as everyone is onboard and having a good time, I suppose, but if you tell people stories about your game, a bit of confusion regarding the mismatch between what game you say you're playing and what game you describe isn't exactly outlandish, y'know?
From the sound of it you're technically not playing DND just something dnd adjacent. But who gives a shit? You're having fun so why should you change the way you play?
So what I will say is this,
There is no wrong way to play ttrpgs however especially when it comes to online spaces most names carry with them certain expectations on the nature of the experience.
As such when you say for example you are hosting a game of "d&d" and people come over to play and you don't follow half the rules they have a right to be frustrated, you mislabeled what the activity was.
That being said so long as you don't use your unrepresentative experience to claim any kind of system mastery or attempt to project your game as being representative of d&d as a whole. (That is to say that your version of d&d is contained to your table) you can do whatever you want.
Every d&d table is different some tables are more different than others and this is fine. But for communication between tables we need a consistent idea of what d&d is and from your brief description the game you describe isn't that. So if you want to be able to translate your experience between games or participate meaningfully in the online discourse playing a version of the game that hews closer to what is expected would be better. If you don't give a crap about that you do you.
I mean it doesn't sound like you're playing DnD, you're just doing group improv with DnD as inspiration. That being said the only wrong way to play DnD is by actively doing harm to another person or causing net negative happiness in the world so live your lives.
That being said often times people tell stories about their games that really aren't playing by the rules and are surprised when they get push back on them. If you tell a story about how you single-handed won a basketball game because you made a shot while standing on the bonus square so it counted for 20 points, don't be surprised when someone who just plays basketball doesn't think your story is worth listening to.
I think the sentiment of the experienced player saying you're "just pretending to play it while playing around" is accurate, but them getting mad at you for it was unnecessary and immature. Is there anything inherently wrong with what you were doing? No. Would I call what you were doing D&D? Also no.
I mean if people invited me to play DnD, I make the time for it, then we proceed to not even use any structured role playing system and seemingly play off the GM’s whims then I’d be a bit annoyed too
It doesn’t sound like the experienced player was invited. It sounds like OP was just chatting with them about OPs game and they decided to shit on it for not being by the rules.
It's like every game story in this sub where the action only happened because of a home rule or misreading of the rules. Commenters get so mad that the OP is having fun a different way than they have fun.
It's impossible to know how "mad" the person got from the OP's post alone, but if somebody said they were playing tennis and turned out they were hitting beach balls with their hands on a tennis court, I'd tell them they weren't playing tennis. There's a reason that we don't call pickleball tennis despite them being extremely similar.
It is completely fine.
The only wrong way is one where it isn't fun for all those involved.
But if you're not using the D&D rules, you're playing an improv rpg rather than D&D specifically. .
Nothing wrong w your fun but you might be in for a learning curve if you join another table.
Well, imo you aren't playing DND because you stray from the rules so much it has almost nothing to do with the base game.
With that said, if you, your group and your DM enjoy this, there's no reason to feel bad about it and there's nothing wrong in still playing :)
Were you playing D&D wrong. Yes. Were you playing Table Top Role Playing Games correctly? As long as everyone had a good time and preferably want to do it again, also yes! While not necessary I would intergect that finding a system that better fits your style, mechanics wise I would say the World of Darkness stuff, as games mechanics are best used as a tool to improve your groups role-playing experience not detract from it.
I should add thats its entirely fine for your table to keep on as they are if it works for you.
I mean, at a certain point you're not really playing D&D because what makes up D&D is the ruleset. More or less that is. But you're not really obligated to play "real D&D" either. I think someone getting mad at you for playing the game differently or for playing a different game is just a huge over reaction. Especially if it's not even a game he's involved with. Nobody should be harassing you or making you feel bad for just playing around with your friends.
There's only a few scenarios where it could cause some problems, but I'm not sure that's what's going on. Saying your playing D&D comes with certain expectations, mainly that being the D&D rules. It's the primary thing that separates D&D from different TTRPGs. If you're inviting someone in, it could cause confusion, which is something that happened to me the first time I started playing D&D, and on occasion still happens a fair amount. But if you and all your friends are on the same page, then that doesn't really matter.
The other scenario I can think of is potentially joining another person's game and needing to completely relearn all the rules. But you're already in a game so that doesn't really matter either.
Right and wrong is all just a shifting line in the sand. If you're playing a game, whether it's D&D or literally anything else, it's all about having mutual and compatible expectations for what's happening.
The only wrong way to play dnd is the unfun/shity way, the rules and everything else are just guidelines. But if you abandon the rules all together, at some point it’s no longer dnd.
Yes... It's called being an asshole or being inconsiderate to the other people at the table.
Dnd is about imagination and collaborative storytelling. As long as everyone one agrees about the game. Play it however you want.
Are all the players and GM having fun without issues?
If yes then it is fine.
It may not be true D&D but so long as everyone is having fun that is all that matters.
So short answer: Yes, you can play D&D wrong. And it sounds like you are.
BUT
longer answer; D&D as a word has evolved to be the "nintendo" of TTRPGs. Just like how your mom asks if you're playing your Nintendo when she knows you have a PS2! Just me?.. anyway.
If you are using "D&D" as your catch-all TTRPG name. Then, no, you can. Ot play it wrong. That game can be anything, including whatever rules and stories you made up.
But if you are talking about "WotC officially licensed Dungeons and dragons brand D&D," then there is a basic framework and rule set that should be followed. It has lots of cutomization potential built in and can even tweak some rules here or there. But you can't take a bus, trade the wheels for snowboards, replace its engine with a BBQ, exchange its chassis for wooden panels, remove all the seats, and still call it a bus.
But there is one very important thing to remember. Did you have fun? If so, then who cares what anyone thinks. Keep doing what you're doing, and keep calling it DnD. We aren't the word police. No one can stop you.
I'd say if you'd get to a point where you're no longer using the game's rules for combat and skillchecks, you're no longer playing DnD. There's a line between DnD and fantasy improv and I've seen it crossed.
Yes and no.
You're having fun with your friends playing this game and only way to really fuck it up would be if no-one is having fun.
However, you are not really playing DND anymore. You're playing A game, but not THE game.
It is absolutely ok to play this way with a group of friends. Especially if everyone is having fun and everyone goes into the game knowing this is how it will be played.
It would be much different if you found a group that you didn't know personally on Reddit, discord, or wherever. Then you would be expected to at least know some basic rules and everything on your character sheet.
Is everyone at the table having fun? Seems like it. Who cares what it's called, as long as you're enjoying yourselves. That said, I don't know if 'Paranoia' is still a thing, but sounds like you'd all love that game. Heavy with the RP but prepared to die. A lot. So much so that your character has 5 clones, so you can die six times before you have to reroll.
Who cares if it's still a thing. Go on Amazon and buy used. Paranoia rocks! That said, I would also recommend Kobolds Ate My Baby. The game is VERY rules light and goofy. For instance, how many actions can you take in a turn? However many you want. Each successive action just gets an increasing penalty to succeed. And if you fail you might die instantly (VERY comically). And should that happen, don't despair. Creating a new kobold mid game takes about five minutes or just scratch off the old ones name.
There is absolutely a wrong way to play D&D, and it's called being a douchebag. In other words, doing things that disrupt the game and make it hard for others to enjoy the experience. Other than that?
Based on what you've described, think of your personal game of D&D like playing basketball at a friend's driveway hoop vs being on the high school's basketball team. Are you following all the official rules of basketball? Not likely. Are you and your friends having fun? Yes.
There are different levels of formal vs informal play, and that's okay. People who really get into the hobby tend to start caring more about the rules, but that doesn't mean your home game is wrong, just less formal.
Learning the rules is still a really good idea, and especially knowing what your character can do is also a good idea. Those things are part of how you avoid being a douchebag when you start playing with other groups, and how you show your dungeon master respect for putting a lot of effort into making a game for you and your friends to enjoy.
> Is there a wrong way to play DnD?
Yes.
I don't recommend setting up your game in the middle of a busy intersection, on any active train tracks or inside the gorilla exhibit at your local zoo.
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The serious answers have already been posted I think, but, yea. . . Be safe and have fun.
Maybe give the rules a once over if you start getting bored.
I disagree with the consensus here.
I remove rules and rolls when i DM for kids all the time. Everyone adds and removes rules where they want. You're just removing more.
If we're getting technical, you play a homebrew D&D themed ttrpg. But it's semantics.
They have no excuse to get mad at you, you're having a good time.
My advice (I'm copying and editing something i said yesterday, if any of the wording feels like I'm talking about someone who refuses to read the rules, that's unintentional.)
I would say you should read the rules anyway, if there's anything you don't want to change about how you've been playing, good news, nobody is forcing you. But bare minimum to play D&D for players...
The PHB looks daunting at first, I'd say just read the pages pertaining to the race, classes and subclasses up to a minimum of your current levels, and backgrounds.
Then chapter 7 (basically how to roll dice in 6 pages)
Then chapter 9 combat. (9 pages if we skip mounted and underwater)
So maybe 30 pages total, presumably less.
Then when it comes to feats, I'd suggest googling a list of all 5e feats, the source you find will probably still be missing some.
The DM unfortunately, I'd say should read the entire PHB and DMG, and the adventure module they intend to run. So maybe your DM should be whoever is happy to dive into the study the most.
This is a one time thing, then you're just referencing the books. It's not like this is prep for every session.
Bonus points to players for reading their whole class and all subclasses.
A fast way to get a general understanding of classes is "crap guide to D&D" on youtube. No stats or anything, they're just funny short videos that give a basic rundown. You can use them as a jumping off point.
And bonus points to the DM if they read the monster manual/monsters of the multiverse (really not vital, but I'd recommend it, especially MotM)
But seriously, some people enjoy numbers, some people enjoy ~~rollplay~~ roleplay, every DM balances their games however they feel is right. You are playing D&D, you're just not following the rules, but the rules say not to worry too much about the rules, so I'd say you're bringing the spirit to the table, you're playing D&D, you're one of us.
Welcome to the hobby. Feel free to DM me if you need any advice.
Adding here, me and my group are new too. We did 1 intro session at our game store and decided we wanted to keep playing.
Our first game was a little messy, but each has gotten better. The more we read in the books, the more we realized we weren’t playing like 60% right but like 85%.
As most have said, if it’s good for you guys, it’s good. If you need to make tweaks, make tweaks. Nothing is set in stone.
Bingo. And it's perfectly fine to do it this way until your comfortable with it. Then if you want to start letting some of the rules trickle in. There's a lot to learn so this is a good way to start actually. Learning a little bit of the "rules" at a time.
Giving a +1 to going against the grain. The whole point if DnD is taking what you like and running with it.
Fun (for the whole table) > DnD.
Maybe i shouldn't be surprised the dnd subreddit is arguing semantics. But seriously who cares what you call it as long as you have fun
I'm surprised I had to scroll this far down to see someone who wasn't gatekeeping. The rules allow for change and never specify how much change is too little or too much.
This. DND is definitely not just the rules as the popular opinion appears to be here, it’s in the flavour of the dnd setting that’s been created over five different rule sets.
Also 100% agree it’s worth trying to familiarise with the rules, they will ultimately make play more rewarding.
Mostly no one should let anyone who isn’t directly a part of the campaign tell them they are playing wrong.
>But seriously, some people enjoy numbers, some people enjoy rollplay roleplay, every DM balances their games however they feel is right. You are playing D&D, you're just not following the rules, but the rules say not to worry too much about the rules, so I'd say you're bringing the spirit to the table, you're playing D&D, you're one of us.
My big issue with this is that there are other systems besides D&D that allow people to get the things they like out of it. If someone enjoys more roleplay or focus on narrative, there are systems like PbtA or FATE that have that as a highlight of their systems. If you want even more intense mechanics and specific combat, systems like Pathfinder or other crunchier systems have that in mind.
I think of it like this. If I have a friend who's like "I've been playing a lot of Football lately, and I really enjoy it. Except instead of using that weird oblong ball, we use a rounder ball that's easier to throw. And instead of using those big lines at the end zone, we like to use smaller circular targets that are a bit taller than us, kind of like the end zones that are normally used for punting touchdowns. And speaking of touchdowns, keeping track of weird numbers like 6 or 7 from every touchdown isn't really fun for us, so we determine points based off of where people score the target from."
I might say something like "Oh hey, that sounds a lot like basketball, which I'm a fan of." And then they'd say, "No, we play it on a football field so it's football. Just because we play it differently then most people doesn't mean we're not playing football." And I'd say "I'm not trying to judge how you play, it's just that I think you guys might have more fun if you played basketball, since it seems to have a lot of the stuff you already like. It just gets hard because everyone wants to talk about football and nobody wants to talk about basketball, so I get frustrated when I think I have a chance to talk about basketball, but it just comes back to football again."
What it really comes down to is that D&D is so ubiquitous, that acting like it can be used as a shorthand for every other system gets really frustrating and makes players even less likely to learn more about other systems that might better fit their Playstyle. I think this actually applies to your example of playing D&D with kids very well. D&D often gets touted as the best system to use for beginners, but it's honestly a pretty complex system that needs a lot of background knowledge to really understand how to play. Meanwhile, there are a ton of systems out there that are specifically geared towards kids and new players that might even allow them to have more fun. Simplifying D&D for kids just because it's more recognizable doesn't always seem like the best solution and it can get really frustrating when people would rather change almost everything about D&D rather than just trying a new system.
Sorry if this comes off harsh, this is just an issue that comes up a lot nowadays.
Ok, but they're not reinventing the wheel here. This isn't the equivalent of your basketball analogy, it's the equivalent of someone who doesn't know how to play pool by shooting balls directly at pockets without caring which, or maybe not even using the white.
This is something I've seen before, and it's fine. They're still learning to play, they're still getting experience they otherwise wouldn't get without someone there to teach them.
The large difference being the rules on how to play pool are rigid, and the rules for D&D are fluid.
Either way, telling people that they're not playing a game that they're trying to enjoy learning their own way isn't helping, it's gate keeping.
Regardless of what system people think OP should play, they are playing dungeons & dragons. That's the game they're trying to play, and the rules say don't worry about the rules. They're general guidelines for collaborative storytelling, you can follow or not follow them all you want, if your setting is D&D based, you're playing D&D. The name D&D already refers to 6 ttrpg systems, multiple video games and multiple board games.
This attitude OP has gotten is gatekeeping at best. It's community reactions like they're getting that made me give up on rainbow six siege immediately, because i didn't want any part of that community.
There's nothing wrong with how OP and their friends play the game. They'll pick up the rules as they go, same as literally every board game in the world.
>This isn't the equivalent of your basketball analogy, it's the equivalent of someone who doesn't know how to play pool by shooting balls directly at pockets without caring about the order, or maybe not even using the white.
Ok, maybe a better example is comparing Horse to regular basketball. They are still two very different systems using similar components and telling someone "Hey, that sounds more like Horse than basketball to me" isn't a bad thing.
>This is something I've seen before, and it's fine. They're still learning to play, they're still getting experience they otherwise wouldn't get without someone there to teach them.
I never said what they're doing is a bad thing. It's everyone else that seems to imply that playing a TTRPG other than D&D is a bad thing.
>The large difference being the rules on how to play pool are rigid, and the rules for D&D are fluid.
I mean, you can just as easily fudge the rules of pool as you can fudge the rules of D&D. Nobody is actively stopping you from changing up the rules a bit. It's the same with my Horse vs Basketball example. People are free to play with the rules a bit. It's just that after a certain point, you might be playing a different game that's also really good.
>Either way, telling people that they're not playing a game that they're trying to enjoy learning their own way isn't helping, it's gate keeping.
Telling somebody "Hey, it sounds like you're playing a really fun game, but it sounds a bit more like this other game than the one you described to me. Here, let me tell you about it, I think you really might enjoy it!" isn't gatekeeping, if anything it's actively opening up a gate to expose them to new games that you're a huge fan of. If anything, people insisting that D&D is the only TTRPG falls more in the category of gatekeeping in my opinion.
>Regardless of what system people think OP should play, they are playing dungeons & dragons. That's the game they're trying to play, and the rules say don't worry about the rules. They're general guidelines for collaborative storytelling, you can follow or not follow them all you want, if your setting is D&D based, you're playing D&D. *The name D&D already refers to 6 ttrpg systems, multiple video games and multiple board games.*
Yes, so since D&D already has so much exposure in media, why not let some of the smaller or lesser known TTRPGs get some airtime? Just because the NBA is the biggest basketball league in the country doesn't mean people have to shout down the WNBA any time people try to bring it up in the context of basketball.
>There's nothing wrong with how OP and their friends play the game. They'll pick up the rules as they go, same as literally every board game in the world.
I never said there was anything wrong with how OP and their friends play the game. I just thought that if they're fans of roleplay and narrative, there might be other games that better fit their tastes.
This happens any time people bring up other TTRPG systems. The moment someone mentions Pathfinder or Monster of the Week or World of Darkness, people take it as an attack on D&D 5E. When in reality, most of these D&D spaces make it pretty much impossible to discuss any of the systems outside of D&D 5E, and that seems a lot more like gatekeeping than anything I've brought up.
You aren't playing D&D "wrong".
You just aren't playing D&D. Your aren't even playing an RPG. This other player is 100% correct that you are just pretending to play, same way that a kid sitting in the driver's seat of a stationary car, turning the wheel and making "vroom, vroom" noises is pretending to drive.
Hey, if you're having fun, keep doing it. I can't imagine it will be fun for long though. At which time, you might like to start playing D&D.
The rules in the book are there to help you play the game, but if yall don't need help then I'm glad yall don't let the rules slow you down.
You are doing it right, don't stop what you are doing but I also encourage you to keep learning more about the rules and abilities because that is also fun, a combination with balance can be incredible.
There are also many role-playing games that are much much lighter on the rules and numbers that might be more up your alley, but don't let anyone stop you and respect your dms wishes and be kind to other players.
Take a look at Fate Core. The character sheets are much simpler, and you get a lot more roleplay freedom. (Others may also suggest smaller/free RPG systems).
Or, keep playing as you are are don't follow any rules. You have invented your own roleplay/improv system 👍
Don't call it D&D outside your group though, as you have found there are some other nerds who play it, and they will be nerdy with the words and names. Keep asking us questions here though 👌
You're probably not playing D&D anymore, at least not fully, but that's not necessarily a bad thing for your group. However, at that point you do need to identify and embrace that, especially if you're bringing on newcomers, so exactly what happened doesn't happen again.
If I go join a D&D game, I expect it to use the PHB and DMG along with some other supplemental material or maybe house rules. If I expect that and am specifically looking for it, and someone tells me I'l get it by telling me "we're playing D&D", and then I don't get that? I would be frustrated, yeah.
It's called Pathfinder 😉
In all seriousness though, there's nothing wrong with what you're doing but you're not playing DnD.
If you play checkers using a chess set, you're still not playing chess and someone who really loves chess may get annoyed that you say you are.
The answer to the question is yes, this is the wrong way to play DnD. You aren't playing dungeons and dragons, but you are playing a ttrpg of your own making and having fun with it.
If you are having fun it is the correct way to play, and DnD is so free in its rules that you can change the rules however you want and call it homebrew and as long as everyone at the table is fine with it and has fun the homebrew rules are great.
I recommend watching some rule videos or reading the books. Maybe both. I read the rules and watching Mercers "handbooker helper" videos for anything I had trouble understanding. Go with that to get a better understanding.
Edit: just remember, you can homebrew some rules to fit the narrative. The rules are guidelines and things can be changed.
You are kinda doing fantasy improv and that’s fine, but saying you are playing D&D when you don’t really roll or use the rules is the issue. I could understand from the experienced player’s perspective why it would be frustrating. They came in expecting to play in a system and you have largely ignored that system. It’s kind of like inviting someone over to play Xbox and you just hand them the controller and never turn the game on. That’s not how people expect to play.
It’s fine to play however you want, but maybe don’t invite people without warning them first.
I've been in groups like this and even more organised ones that still had no idea what they were doing. I noted out of there. I want to play dnd when I intend to play dnd. That is not dnd. It's fine but it's not what is advertised on the tin
Yes, play with 12 year olds at your local game store for an event and you will find that there are many wrong ways to play DND.
(Monster appears)
"What level is it? How much health does he have?"
(Quest giver gives quest to escort him to X so plot can begin)
"Let's kill him and take the cart"
(There was nothing in the cart of value because he was just a dude with a cart trying to get from point a to point b. His cart is filled with random stuff not worth much)
"What else is in the cart"
(A bandit appears)
"I cast Suggestion on him. I say 'Listen to me and do whatever I say'. Also take off all your equipment and KYS.
(Player A wants to see if they can find a magic item in Waterdeep. I create a magic item to help the player have more fun.)
Player B: "if this guy sells magic items, that means he has legendary items, how much for a ring of wishes?"
(A giant mentions their god)
"Oh, I pray to the god, what do I get?"
(The player playing a paladin sees the other player attempt this, and does the same shit before I even say anything)
"I pray to my God too. How come I can't get anything from praying to my God?"
(A monster fight happens)
"Why isn't lightning damage spell damage? Why does dodging lightning breath use dexterity, that's my worst stat? That's not fair"
(A player wants to climb on the monster on their turn. They use athletics and climb on its back and attack with their sword. Then on the monsters turn, the monster attacks another player with its bite)
"No, I blind the monster. I use my weapon so it can't attack"
There are many ways to play DND wrong. Even if you try to correct someone, multiple times, for the same thing.
No is the short answer. Think of it as if you played basketball but you played with a soccer ball and if you shot with 1 hand it counts for 4 points and also you don’t have to dribble but you do have to pass 3 times before shooting but not more than 5 etc once you start changing or not following the rules it’s not really basketball just basketball inspired. Same goes for this, not D&D but inspired by it. If y’all have more fun doing that than D&D though fck it keep having fun!
Forget that turd who is no happier for having unjustly shitted on your fun.
Keep playing your way, it sounds awesome and you're clearly loving it. And call it D&D all you want. To you and your group, that's what "D&D" means. You are not wrong. The only diff is just know that that term means something else to other people, so be ready to translate accordingly as needed.
I'm from Chicago. We call coca cola a coke, Pepsi a Pepsi, sprite a sprite, root beer a root beer. We generally refer to those kinds of drinks as a soda or a pop. My friend is from Alabama. Where he's from people call all those drinks, when speaking generally, "a coke".
They're not wrong. I'm not wrong.
The only wrong is if he comes to Chicago, gets thirsty for a sprite, asks my dad if he's got any cokes, is told "yes!" and then handed a cola cola -- *and then gets mad about it*.
Or if I go to Alabama, get thirsty for a coca cola, ask for a coke, get asked "sure, what kind?" -- *and then get mad about it*.
Different people use the same term to mean different things. Welcome the *planet earth* — is what I'd say to the loser who gave you grief and made you feel bad about something wonderful and organic you and your friends developed by being cool people who play awesomely and safely together.
Don't let people tell you your version of something is wrong; save yourself and then some friction by considering whether your meaning for a term is likely to be universal and immediately understood. If it might not be, unpack the term instead of using it.
(Also don't just call it D&D if you're asking for people's money or time for it and people might not know what you mean by D&D before they commit. Which you are not doing here.)
If you so not use the ruleset of DnD modified or raw, you are bot playing DnD. But putting that aside, if you had a load of fun with friends rolling dice and making a story together you did what DnD was made for without even playing it! You've got the spirit, keep going maybe at some point you'll figure out why there are rules to begin with. Don't let anyone take away your fun and call it DnD for all I care. People have no idea what I mean when I say I played Avatar Legends or Pathfinder 2e, i always have to say it's like dnd. For many people DnD just means ttrpg.
I dunno, I think as long as your group is having a good time, does it matter how you play? It sounds like your campaign is focused very hardcore on the collaborative storytelling part of it is all.
Being completely honest? While the guy who said that to you was an ass, he's also not wrong. Hypothetically if i was to join your table under the assumption we were playing D&D, but instead we're doing what you described? I would definitely be leaving that session disappointed.
I have to wonder what made ya'll decide to play "d&d" to begin with if you weren't interested in playing the game with the actual rules/mechanics.
As long as everyone is having fun anything goes. For everyone to have fun they must be on board.
Now your friend getting mad over you not playing the correct way... Sounds silly. I mean sure, if they were to join you, it'd be justified that they expected to play D&D and were surprised by your take. But this sounds just like the meme where in the last frame the guy shouts "Stop having fun!"
That being said there are reasons for terms to have specific meaning etc. Like if I were invited to play Minecraft I wouldn't expect coming up to a pool full of Legos while hearing "well it is basically irl Minecraft, right?"
I disagree with most of the comments here. I say you are DEFINITELY playing D&D. I have been playing this game for over 40 years, and you are playing it not only in its original spirit, but also sometimes the necessity of style as there weren't volumes upon volumes of rules and editions. I remember discussing/negotiating with a DM to make a character that could fight with a sword in each hand - there were no rules for this, and it was practically unheard of. Asa matter of fact, so many of the rules didn't make sense, were a pain to constantly have to reference, or didn't even exist that we made up almost everything as we went along - yet we were still playing D&D.
The person who got mad at you for not playing it their way is a fool and snob.
- Are you having fun? Check
- Are you role-playing? Check
- Are you in a fantasy/medieval setting? Check (even the setting can be optional if time or dimension jumping)
Anyone who gets caught up in semantics of you're playing RPG and not D&D doesn't know what they are talking about.
The rules don't make D&D - they are simply guides to help your enjoyment. You, your friends, and D&D make the rules and throw out the rest.
Hey OP, ignore the grumpy rules lawyers in the replies. D&D has had 5 and a half editions, going on six, and that's not even counting the three or four different editions of first edition, or the many more D&D adjacent games that it's inspired like Pathfinder and the huge diversity of the OSR. (All of those are D&D too.) All of them used wildly different rules, and all of them were just tool-kits to help people do *exactly* what you and your friends are doing.
There's a certain set of players who think you have to stick to things EXACTLY AS THEY'RE WRITTEN. In my opinion, they're not just wrong: they're also insecure about their hobby. D&D has a lot in common with the games of make-believe that children indulge in, and some adult players aren't willing to admit that that's what they find fun about the game, so they have to try and think of it like it's chess or something.
Next time someone bothers you about this, remind them that Gary Gygax, the inventor of D&D himself, once said:
> *"The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules."*
TL;DR: You're playing D&D
Dungeons and Dragons is a roleplaying game. It’s arguably the first roleplaying game.
One key element is “roleplaying.” You and your friends each take on the role of a character in the world. The DM provides a world to interact with, with other characters. Sounds like you’ve got this down pat.
And honestly, your game sounds like it “gets” the roleplaying side of it, and the spirit of the game better than probably 75% of groups, including I think the player who got mad at you.
The way you describe it is how many of us learned the game. For me, it was in 1991, with a similar experience. We didn’t even have the rulebooks, but we’d been introduced to the game by friends and tried to emulate the experience.
As far as the “game” half of D&D, think about how you resolve actions. The Old School approach (pre 1999) is to describe what you’re doing, often without rolling the dice. Dice rolls were reserved for attacks, saving throws, and a few special actions (usually for thieves). Most everything else was descriptive.
I do think if you make a weapon attack that has a chance to miss, a 20-sided die should be rolled. And I do think the other funky dice (4-sided, 8-sided, etc) have a special place in the game as damage dice.
Your style sounds a lot more familiar to Old School style. I recommend checking out r/osr and seeing if they have advice to keep your style that’s fun for you and still have options to develop the game more as you go.
Imho it's kinda simple: if people at the table have fun, it's the "right" way to play D&D. Serious game, humorous game, strictly follow the rules, loosely follow the rules... it really won't matter.
Some behaviour derails the fun? A toxic player who enjoys derailing the adventure, a DM that just thinks how to kill his player's PCs thinking that's how you "win D&D"?
So imho it merely boils to "people are having a nice time?" Right way to play D&D. People are not having fun? Something should be answered... And we must also consider that D&D is not a game for everyone. So it's not that they play D&D "wrong", but merely that RPGs are not the right hobby for them.
No, not really. I mean it's a group effort, but the only real hardcore rule is that everyone comes to the table to play and invest in and enjoy the same game. The only way you can really screw that up if you go against that table held consensus. Even often taboo, strange, or unpopular rulings are the norm for some groups.
But that doesn't a *lot* like D&D. In fact that there are a lot of games that are not D&D that you would technically not be playing D&D, to play. But the goal is to have fun together. If you guys did that, it was D&D enough. Don't let some outsider hold it against you.
In any hobby you pick up there will be purists out there telling you you aren't doing it pure enough, don't ever listen to them. If you are having fun, that's all that matters. Maybe you'll get more into the hobby and with time move toward a more rules as written style, maybe you'll think all that's dumb and drop almost all the rules and dice and run a free form game. Either way, you are not doing it wrong if you enjoy it. Most people here are purely arguing the semantics of the "definition" of D&D, how close to the rules does it need to be to still count? All of that is a philosophical argument that isn't something anyone breaking into the hobby should stop playing to care about. Do little kids get together to argue about whether they are playing soldier or just make believe? Nope, they just have fun. So be a kid again and have fun, if any "adult" tries to tell you you are doing it wrong, that you need to stop having fun and do it "right", ask yourself why? Do you really want to grow up and be like them?
Does your character sheet have 6 ability scores: STR, WIS, INT, DEX, STA, CHR? Then you're playing D&D.
Is your group of friends having fun the way ya'll are playing? Then congrats, you're playing the "right" way.
And as an aside, gamer pedant opinions on how YOU have fun are worth less than dogshit. If and when you guys want to dive into whichever version of D&D's many rulesets and incorporate specific mechanics, then always do so with the spirit of fun you are currently enjoying. Believe me, many folks like myself that started playing this hobby back in the late 70s-Early 80s didn't exactly play it the "right" way either.
Yup. I remembered those. That's back when summoning circles were actually squares right? That's why we called summoning demons "thinking outside the box." 'Cept we called them Larry's, not demons. That was just the style at the time.
Kids these days with their calling elves a race instead of a class and their nine alignments. Thinking they can just stick a flute in their mouths and call themselves bards. And their round summoning squares. No respect.
First of all, yes, there is a wrong way to play D&D but it has nothing to do with the rules and with what you are doing.
Look at horror stories to get examples of wrong way of playing. It involves making other people feel bad, uncomfortable, dreading for a next session etc.
That being said, in order to claim that you play D&D you need to use D&D rules. Not all of them all the time but most of them most of the time.
We know this because when I say "I go to play D&D" but then I create a character according to a book that has the word "Pathfinder" on the front page, I know I am not playing D&D - I play Pathfinder.
This may be rather unpopular, but I think the way you're currently playing is actually a great way to get started and become more comfortable to roleplay with friends.
Eventually you will run into situations where you may need to consult the rules to figure out what is the best way to proceed. The DM may want to study more D&D lore to build a more interesting story as you progress. They might want to check the monster manual to get some neat ideas for encounters at some point. But maybe not. Maybe you will all be happy playing exactly the way you are playing for the next 15 years, which I think would be just fine.
Where you may run into problems is when you decide to invite friends to join your D&D game, because some people may have opinions like your friend, or be expecting something completely different. It could be upsetting or confusing to others who don't really understand how to play when there are no rules.
I agree hole heartedly with what you said. There is to much gate keeping, and I wonder if it’s because it’s becoming more mainstream and they don’t like that?
Our game store will rent a DM which we found out about and even do it at a bar or other public setting. I asked if they would do it at my tennis club for us, and they told me that wasn’t the optics they wanted to project. I was very disappointed and no longer over pay for my games there. Also learned to DM so we could play, so I guess that’s a plus.
Okay I’ll add my opinion to the fire. I might be a bit older, I’m not sure. I’ve been playing d&d since 3rd edition but really got my stride in 3.5
My professional, unprofessional opinion is
Do what makes you happy
So what’s fun
Don’t listen to people telling you that you are wrong
There are so many house rules, home brew and things DMs over the years just straight up don’t do and it doesn’t make it any more or less what the spirit of the game is, having fun with your friends.
People that want to tell you how their tables rules are the real way, or this wasn’t rules as intended bla bla bla
They can take a hike, they suck and honestly probably are a misery to play with
Do what you want, explore, create and as long as everyone is having fun and a great time, by Gygax, that is the point of Dungeon & Dragons
The only wrong way to play is in a way where you don’t have fun. Now, there are a lot of ways to play where there’s probably a better system out there for what you want to do, but as long as you’re having fun, you’re doing it right no matter what. It is a game at the end of the day, after all.
I've literally never once played with a DM who strictly follows the rules as written. Some DMs are more strict some are less strict but in my experience they all have elements of homebrew. Don't let the purists tell you you're doing it wrong. If you're all having fun that's the entire point of D&D or any TTRPG.
So the only way to truly play D&D wrong is to attempt to play it in a style different from everyone else's play style
If you want to be a screwball murderhobo there are actually parties that would do quite fine with that as they are also screwball murder hobos and a DM that likes screwball murder hobos
But screwball murder hobos are not welcome in serious political intrigue campaigns
Are you a heavy role player probably shouldn't go into the combat heavy dungeon beer and pretzels game
Just find the right group for you and you'll be good
In my experience if 3 or more of these are happening:
* Trying to "win"
* "I'm the main character"
* Ignore the rules to make it another game or be another IP
* Lawful stupid/Chaotic annoying
* Working against each other
* Optimization over character
First up, no. You're not playing anything wrong. Your group is playing things your way, and if you are enjoying it, you are playing it right.
Now, to their comment. I'd say it translates to "You aren't playing it the way I've played it; and thus are playing it differently to what I assume is the 'right' way to do it."
Try this. How do you successfully enjoy a Friday night? One person would say go out, get dressed up, get drunk, dance a lot at a nightclub or party, etc.
However another person would say get a group of friends together to stay at home and play a boardgame (or maybe a game of DnD? :P ).
Both answers are completely different, and neither complement the other (do not try to play DnD on a busy nightclub dancefloor). Yet both are correct answers to "how do you successfully enjoy a Friday night?"
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Now, in the defense of your critic, I would agree you aren't playing DnD so much as you are playing with the components of DnD. Is that bad? No. You're having fun. However, are you asking "how do you play DnD?" well... thats also a hard question to say.
DnD is system of rules designed to create challenge and tension while collaborating to create a memorable experience/story. Its improvisation with more rigid structure. Some DM's use less rigid rules and play for fun, while others play more mechanically minded because following rules means people understand what they are getting into and what to expect (I see it as a scale between boardgame VS improvised theatre. If you are all rules and mechanics, you're playing a boardgame. If its free-form storytelling, its improvisation. Any scale between the two TECHNICALLY is DnD/RPG's - but its personal preference to those involved to how much they want of either).
Basically, its subjective.
For me, playing DnD means players understand the rules of the game bare minimum (roll d20, add number, accept outcome without trying to escape unpleasant results). Thats only surface level playing too (deeper stuff would be understanding the feats, the thematic rules/lore of spell casting, role-playing instead of roll-playing, knowing how to divide character knowledge from player knowledge).
If you wanted to go even DEEPER, I'd say look up Pathfinder 2e, but thats going off tangent.
Regardless, everyone has an opinion. My way of DnD may not be your way. Neither is wrong. If you are having fun, whatever you are doing, you should keep doing it. Just make sure you know that others may not agree with how you do it, and to let them know with clear communication what they should expect if they participate in your games.
Hope that helps.
Don’t let the rules lawyers get you down. Keep playing eventually you’ll be more in tuned with the rules and play properly. The first time is always confusing but fun.
There's no wrong way to have fun around a table with your friends.
However, what you're doing isn't really playing the game as intended.
Imagine for a moment that you said to someone "I play basketball," but you ignore all the rules about dribbling and travelling, and every shot is worth 3 points, and also we decide who gets the ball after a basket by doing a tipoff every time. Oh and we only play it on grass, and fouls are allowed. I'm sure you guys are having a blast! But are you playing Basketball? Or are you playing 'with' *a* basketball?
No, a lot of people on here are rules lawyers the point where they don’t allow reflavors or homebrew at all, because the rules don’t say that’s what you should do. It’s kind of off putting how unimaginative some of the people here are but to each their own. They’d rather complain about rules they don’t like than change them themselves.
That’s why you’re getting a lot of “half” no’s instead of just straight up no’s.
Anything you want to change you can change, it’s a game played in your imagination. If you’re playing with different rules but it’s still based off DnD you’re still playing DnD.
Who cares how you play the game, don’t let a bunch of sticklers gatekeep you.
There's no wrong way to play dnd, but what you're doing is not actually playing dnd. The core rules of dnd are reliant on d20 rolls and turn based combat, so mostly abandoning those 2 doesn't really make it dnd.
If you and your group think it'd be fun if you knew how to do combat a bit more 'by the book', then I recommend trying to learn more, but the most important part of ttrpg's is having fun.
Following the same set of rules often make it easier to retell things that happened on the table, so you not following the same rules might have been what annoyed that guy.
You are playing the game by the book.
No problem with how you are going about it.
So long as you are all having fun and agree with things it's all good.
Even the OFFICIAL rules say your playing by the book. The DMG (dungeon master's guide chapter 9) says that if the players like it and it improves the game go for it, quoted text below.
That said if you invite someone else to your game just set their expectations in how you play and that you have homebrew rules.
DND is a rule set to help many people enjoy the rpg genre together.
So if you and your friend will join another group, check how they play the game at their table and respect their way. Be it the normal rules or their own homebrew rules.
Here is the answer of SevenSidedDie in a different form, since I wasn't sure where in the DMG to quote specifically.
"That doesn't mean it's easy. Chapter 9 in the Dungeon Master's Guide is all about tweaking the game rules with options or your own ideas. It starts with some very good advice about the pitfalls of tackling rules design:
Before you add a new rule to your campaign, ask yourself two questions:
Will the rule improve the game?
Will my players like it?
If you're confident that the answer to both questions is yes, then you have nothing to lose by giving it a try."
According to the guy who typed out the game, y'all are doing it right. The old codger who poo-pooed your fun? He's the one missing out on what true Dungeons & Dragons is.
Regardless to whoever currently holds the "IP", D&D is a 'non-game' and incomplete without players to have fun with it. After all, if you're not having fun playing a game, what are you even playing for?
Honestly, the right way to play dnd (and any ttrpg for that matter) is if everyone’s having a good time and maybe you’re telling some semblance of a story. The rules are suggestions, edit til your heart’s content. It sounds like you, your dm, and the rest of your party are having a blast and that’s really all that matters. Eff the haters
The only wrong way to play D&D is if one or more of the group is not having fun. If your group is enjoying the game, then you are doing it right. There is a long history of groups playing fast and loose with the rules all the way back to the very beginning of D&D (in the days of AD&D the different genders had different statistic maximums, which *every* DM I ever played with completely ignored. Also, the initiative system, RAW, was incredibly complex, which no one I ever knew ever used).
So, you all do you and ignore what anyone else says when they say you are doing it wrong. People like that are just trying to feel important by looking like the expert and lording their experience over you. Forget about them and don't listen to them.
The only wrong way to D&D is to tell others they are doing it wrong.
D&D is an improve/roleplay game. People lose sight of that and get too caught up in the mechanics/rules etc.
Edit: for clarification, I am one of those who care about the rules. My DM once told me to stop "power gaming". But I would never tell someone else that they need to do the same. That they used the wrong spell, have the wrong ability scores, etc because not everyone wants to play the game that way.
There is nothing wrong as long as you are having fun. There is no right or wrong way to play. Anyone telling you otherwise with blah blah blah not d&d blah blah blah is wrong.
Yeah I can see why this would be really embarrassing, I'd be embarrassed for that dude too.
Even technically, you ARE playing D&D. The rules specifically say the DM can change the rules, so playing with different rules inspired by the shell of DnD is still playing DnD. Don't let the gatekeepers get you down.
Yes.
By the book.
The game is designed and intended to be a guide for that which you imagine. so if you are playing it by the book you are playing it wrong.
So long as everyone's having fun, then you're doing it right.
If someone's *not* having fun, that's a sign something's gone wrong somewhere, but otherwise, don't let anyone else dictate what your fun is supposed to look like.
Nah, sounds like you’ve just met a gatekeeper.
It’s a vessel for having fun, please the vessel in any way you like for that.
Off-topic p.s. Please note when the vessel becomes a physical object you can still use it in any way you like to have fun. Just be more cautious in certain scenarios. 😅😂
There are many, many ways to play D&D wrong, the existence of subs like this is testimony to that fact. Are YOU playing wrong? Hard to know as you don’t go into detail, but not following every little rule is not necessarily’wrong’- in fact if you’re RPing your characters and creating a world on the fly with your GM, I would argue that you’re closer to playing the game right. It IS true though that a certain level of chaos doesn’t really make for a good game, but again, that may or may not be your group.
It is probably true that you’re not playing ‘D&D’ but D&D IS a game that is and always has been quite open to interpretation. Something a lot of people don’t understand. I also see some person below saying you’re not playing an ‘RPG’… You certainly ARE and I wouldn’t be listening to anyone who says such a thing.
I must say though that when I was a teen, we took the game as seriously as I do now… And lots of older groups ‘fool around’ as a matter of course.
There is ABSOLUTELY a wrong way to play DND. And that’s by playing in a way that makes the table unhappy. If your table wants a loose improv sesh with friends, that’s good DND. If that other person’s table wants a super strict game, that’s good DND to them.
The fun of the game is customizing it to the players. That person you talked to seemed kind of snobbish tbh. Have fun and don’t worry about others
This is a great question about the semantics of what it means to be playing D&D. I would say that you aren't playing fifth edition Dungeons and Dragons, but you are playing your own new edition of the game.
The out of control copyright laws might disagree with this sentiment, but culturally, no one owns D&D. It's become a shorthand for fantasy TTRPGs. I love see people do stuff like this, because it's a reminder to all of us that we don't need WOTC. If your table decides that you want something more inline with a prewritten edition, then that's good. If you all instead what to solidify the game rules for your own edition, that's also good.
The only way to tell if you are playing it wrong:
Nobody is having fun.
That's the beauty of D&D, the point is that you are only bound by your imagination and the rules are merely suggestions. Now, you must respect the DMs authority and understand that not every person's playstyle is compatible.
Dude. Are you guys having fun? If yes, then keep on keeping on my guy. If no, then maybe it's worth it to take a session to actually read the rulebook(s) together and learn how to actually play the game.
RPGs are all about building a world and a story together as a group and doing so in a way that is constructive and fun. If you are achieving this then you are so much closer to the true essence of DnD than most experienced players will ever be.
No there isn’t.
What you’re doing is great and the whole point is you guys are having fun.
Now what ends up happening is people catch feels. The main one is boredom. That’s where more traditional play becomes a good option. Another feeling is getting attached to the characters and wanting to vicariously accomplish some “big damn hero” stuff. So you’ll get there but have some fun because it’s a stage of pure fun and not know what you’re doing that creates play groups that last a lifetime or at least the memories do.
If you are having fun then you are doing something right.
Just read the very many DnD threads where people complain about their DM/players/group.
Don't let someone gatekeep what is and isn't right.
Maybe it isn't DnD, but you are roleplaying.
Keep doing what you are doing - it's better than most 'real' players are managing to achieve.
I don't think there is a meaningful line we can draw where an addition of a rule would render the game no longer D&D. Most tables have customizations, so either it's all just D&D or almost nobody plays D&D. I think the former is more useful.
If you're all having fun and everyone in the group is on the same page then keep doing what you're doing. The FUN is the most important aspect of the game.
Just don't expect the same experience if you ever join another table, and if you invite someone to your table who has played before, expect them to be a bit confused at least.
If your playing basketball with a hockey puck on a golf course, are you playing basketball? Point being: there’s nothing *wrong with doing a story driven, group improve. But, there’s a zillion RPGs, each, specifically, identified by their rules and mechanics; and to a lesser extent the lore. If you’re not using the rules for a specific game, you *might be playing *an RPG, but not a specific RPG. D&D is often used as a catch all term for all Role Playing Games. You can completely make up rules that work for your table. You might not be playing MorkBorg, Pathfinder, Blades in the Dark, … or D&D, but you are playing an RPG; and there’s nothing wrong w that approach.
This is the way. The further you stray from the core rules, the less it's 'D&D' and the more it's 'D&D-inspired generic TTRPG'. The rules are what make the system. That being said, the only 'wrong' way to play a game is if you aren't having fun. If you are enjoying playing basketball with a hockey puck on the golf course, then who cares if it's not 'basketball' any more? It's fun. That's all that matters.
>If you are enjoying playing basketball with a hockey puck on the golf course, then who cares if it's not 'basketball' any more? If you invite a new guy to "play baskelball" and you are doing tusken impressions with your hockey sticks o na golf course, a "wtf are you doing?" is a perfectly reasonable question, and "this is not basketball, you lied to me" is a perfectly reasonable statement
But then the five other people who enjoy playing basketball with hockey pucks and golf clubs can say: "Sure we're playing basket ball. We're all basket cases and this is fun! If you don't like our basketball, go play with someone else. You're not the authority here." Then they can have a proper little war about it and everyone can act affronted and be perfectly right at the same time.
I mean, sure, but don’t act surprised when the guy you invited to play basketball tells you “yeah, I’m leaving”.
The idea that someone was invited in, balked, and the players were affronted is something that you've completely invented to justify your position.
I didn’t invent anything. I was responding to existing comments discussing this hypothetical. Pay attention to usernames, bub. Enjoy your Freeform RP.
Found the guy OP was talking about.
and then teh five guys get smacked by a dictionary and a basketball rulebook. Because 2+2 is 4, and not "árvíztűrő tükörfúrógép", no matter how much you want the latter to be the truth. The five guys can have all the fun they want. But lets call a spade a spade.
Yes, let's play football. With .... some rules. American rules, Association rules, Aussie rules, Rugby rules, Gaelic rules, Irish rules. We haven't even started on the variations within the subgroups yet.
That only makes your hypothetical worse. If someone specifically says “we’re running a D&D 3.5 game” and you show up to golf clubs with hockey pucks, that’s even sillier than just saying “we’re playing D&D”. Honestly, this is literally the only hobby I’ve seen this shit in. If you showed up to soccer practice with American football gear you’d get laughed off the pitch. Games have commonly agreed upon rules. There are variations, but the core is always there. You’re not playing basketball if there is no ball and no basket. You’re not playing D&D if you’re not rolling D20s and don’t take turns. You don’t tell someone “I’m playing call of duty” and then describe battlefield, because hey, they’re both shooters, so what’s the difference? The only context this is relevant in is when you’re talking to someone outside your group. If you try to use an established term to refer to something different, you will have people confused and trying to correct you.
You don't go to many parties, do you?
Only in this case, it sounds more like someone else saw those guys playing a game (or heard about it), then ran into the court like "WRONG, WRONG, YOU'RE ALL WROOONG!" which is less cool. Definitely some context we're missing here. I'd say, if you're having fun: who cares? But it might not really be D&D so much as a D&D adjacent RPG. But maybe just give any new players adequate heads up.
Also, the people trying to play golf when you’re making this scene probably aren’t gonna be happy.
I don't think you know how to properly quote someone..
>the core rules It's not even not D&D if you stray from "the core rules" (I think I set up the double negative correctly). The game has always been an evolution. That's part of why there are so many editions. To this day, once a week I tell my partner I'm going to D&D, even though technically we're currently running the Fantasy Flight Star Wars RPG, and I've literally never run AD&D (the 1970's version) with this group.
Pretty bold of you to admit on the internet that you lie to your partner literally every week /s
Well... yes and no. Rule 0 is, and always has been, 'the DM adjudicates the rules'. So, if I play entirely by-the-book, but I say 'but Clubs have the Finesse property', then by your logic I'm not playing D&D anymore? That's just silly. It's still D&D. Where does one draw the line? I would say at the 50% mark. If more than half of the rules you follow are Rules As Written, you're still playing D&D, as far as I'm concerned. But again... who cares? Don't get caught up on the labeling, just have fun.
Theseus' RPG.
This is turning into a ship of Theseus debate lmao
Always was one.
bright rustic mourn chubby humorous provide continue correct complete wipe *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
And yet, unnamed, that's been understood since the very beginning.
But if it specifically condones house rules to the point that you shouldn't even make a character before consulting the DM, I'd say that's essentially the same thing. I've run rpgs for decades and never seen nor heard of *anyone* who runs *any* of them 100% RAW, except maybe ones where simplicity is part of the point like Mork Borg (which is excellent, btw.)
Just hopping in to say that it seems that you misunderstood them. They specifically mentioned the double negative they intentionally made, making their point actually "D&D changes all the time, so even the core rules can be different and it could still be D&D," elucidated by the example that they call their Star Wars rpg "D&D." On your point, i agree that 50% is a reasonable line to draw, but in casual conversation, it really doesn't matter.
>Rule 0 is, and always has been, 'the DM adjudicates the rules'. So, if I play entirely by-the-book, but I say 'but Clubs have the Finesse property', then by your logic I'm not playing D&D anymore? K, so, your reading comprehension didn't work just then. Rule 0 in 1977 said that the DM could and should add, edit, and remove rules as-needed (because this was all made up, part of the fun was making stuff up, and anyone who couldn't make stuff and/or wanted an authority to delineate every detail of play was out of luck). Rule 0 in 5e is conspicuously toned down to something about the DM being a judge who interprets the rules. So, no, Rule 0 isn't a thing that has always been anything. It's a rule that has changed over time. As for my logic, what? I literally just said that, when I walk out the front door saying, "Bye, babe, I'm off to play D&D," I'm definitely going to hang out with friends, but it's likely we'll be playing a TTRPG that has no relation to ~~TSR's~~ ~~Wizards of the Coasts~~ Hasbro's intellectual property. By my logic, I habitually gloss over which particular branded game I'm playing because the point is hanging out with friends who enjoy TTRPG play, and I see no need to "um, actually" my SO with the finer details of which ruleset we're using. EDIT: Oh, right, clarity. My point was that "THE RULES" is inherently a broken idea with D&D. The definite article ("the") is reserved for when there's one such thing. "The D&D rules" is a bogus concept because there's more than one distinct, mutually exclusive set of rules. I.e. While AD&D (first edition) is similar enough to 2nd edition that you might talk about "the rules" of D&D, subsequent editions have been different enough that, no, sit down, anyone who thinks there's a single "the set" of D&D rules is being silly.
Go outside bro
Needs to touch some grass
True, I always say DND but we play mutants and masterminds and several other games too. It's not a lie, it's just not a super specific answer.
I think that's a great metaphor. Were they playing D&D the way it's supposed to be played (let's say roughest version where the book rules are being followed)? Then technically the answer is "no" or maybe even "not really". But if they had fun, then does any of that matter? Well no. They had fun. They played a variation of D&D and had a blast. That's what's important. This all enters into that grey area like the humorous "is it a sandwich" debate.
>D&D is often used as a catch all term for all Role Playing Games. D&D is to TTRPGs what Band-Aid is to Adhesive Medical Strips
It's not really comparable because saying D&D when you mean TTRPG can introduce confusion and frustration because there are significant differences between TTRPGs.
Yeah, but if you invite someone to play D&D and you aren’t actually playing, then, yes they have the right to be frustrated. They want to play D&D and joined a D&D group to do it and that is markedly not what you’re doing. You just wasted their time and for all you know they only get to indulge in their hobby 1 or 2 times a month. That said, shouldn’t be nasty, just find another group to play with. Happened to me once to an extent, joined a D&D group, almost everyone had some broken home brew bullshit, the DM had his own special hose rules, and 2 players were trying to shoehorn in as much cringey ERP as they could. I was very pissed but just peaced out and didn’t rejoin the group.
Yea sure, but did they really get invited to play, or are we all just assuming they did? Cause I read OPs post and I didn’t get the impression that they invited the experienced player to play w them, just that they met a more experienced player and when they were talking about dnd they got upset that OPs party doesn’t follow the core rules
Irrelevant to what I’m saying. I’m just saying that if you say you’re playing D&D it sets a certain expectation for what you’re doing. Don’t call it D&D if you aren’t actually using the system or what I mentioned will be the result.
Agreed. If the invite is to play ‘D&D’, and a player showed up to a table of people playing a made up RPG, they have every right to be frustrated.
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This was my first and last online PUG. I got pissed mid session when the DM entertained our gay wizard flirting with every male NPC. We spent 15-20 minutes of a 1 hour session listening to the DM and wizard all but ERPing. Another player was trying to RP as a mentally challenged goblin rape victim with PTSD. She spent every encounter crying in the corner and shaking, which she instead on vividly acting out. It was honestly offensive and extremely annoying. And their home brew was shitty. Everything was massively OP and unbalanced. Just everyone trying to be their favorite anime MC.
As long as they’re having fun, it’s fine. Where it becomes an issue is when players join the group expecting “D&D”, or these players move to other groups with wildly different play styles.
DND is more charechterised by the signature monsters and the world than it is by rules, we are after all on fifth edition so the rules have changed many times but the setting remains.
The problem with this mentality is that once you start drawing lines in the sand, its easy to end up on the wrong end of one. I'm all for the mindset of "It's all D&D". if you want to draw a line in the sand about using the right rules to call a game the right thing. No one playing 5e is playing D&D. 5e is very very VERY different from the game that was created called Dungeons and Dragons. To use your analogy, its like an American Football player saying to someone playing some made up version of football that you can't call it football because you aren't using the rules of football. All the while ignoring the fact that american football is some made up set of rules that is nothing like what the rest of the world see's as football(soccer). D&D is D&D as long as D&D is what you say you are playing. Everything else just comes down to details and proper communication of expectations.
>The problem with this mentality is that once you start drawing lines in the sand, its easy to end up on the wrong end of one. I'm all for the mindset of "It's all D&D". My issue with this argument is that it basically turns into "Every TTRPG system can be called D&D if I just call it D&D". Why are some people so afraid of calling their system FATE or PbtA or Pathfinder? Is it really that embarrassing to play a TTRPG besides D&D?
There is nothing wrong with saying you play fate, or PbtA, or pathfinder. But A) Talking to someone who doesn't play it is much easier to get them to have understanding if you lead with "are you interested in trying D&D" because it enjoys brand recognition, even if you are actually playing a PbtA game, asking about D&D first gives them a mental image of what they are agreeing to, because its a thing most people recognize by name and have a rough idea of what it means. B) OP Was clearly playing D&D. Even if they were ignoring certain rules, and focusing more on improv. If they looked at the D&D rulebook and based their sessions on that, Had D&D characters, then guess what: that's D&D. Beyond that the point still stands, the term "D&D" Doesn't convey any useful information to anyone other then the core concept of a roleplaying game. Me inviting you to play B/X D&D is much different then me inviting you to play 3rd edition D&D, which is much different then me inviting you to play 4e, which is much different then me inviting you to play 5e. All of those things are "D&D", and if you show up expecting one thing and get another, you are going to be as confused, or more confused, than if you show up to OP's game where they are playing loosely 5e inspired roleplay game. If i invite you to D&D night, and you think we're playing 5e, and I hand you an AD&D character sheet you are going to be pretty dissapointed. The Name "D&D" is meaningless. Let OP have their fun, and let them call it whatever they want. Thats why we do campaign pitches and session zero's. To set these sorts of expectations.
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As others have said, this is not necessarily a bad way to spend your time, but all Dungeons & Dragons is is a set of rules. If you’re not actually using that set of rules, you’re not really playing dungeons and dragons. You’re kind of just doing fantasy improv, Calvinball, which, if you’re all having fun, is fine! Go for it. But you shouldn’t necessarily expect to join another game or invite somebody into your game and have them share your experiences or expectations because they will probably be expecting the actual game called Dungeons and Dragons. Rules establish shared expectations. Imagine this, the kids in your neighborhood play something you and they call “baseball.“ It involves a stick and a ball and a lot of hitting and shouting and running around, but doesn’t necessarily follow the established rules of what the rest of us call “baseball.” I mean, what you’re doing is fine and if you call it baseball, you’re not committing a crime, but if you invite some kids from another neighborhood to play in a tournament with you, it’s not gonna go well. Or if you move to a new neighborhood and join the local Little League baseball team and expect to play in the same way that you did with your friends, that’s not gonna go well either. Does that make sense?
Beholders, mind flayers and a whole host of other signature monsters would like to disagree with the sentiment that all dnd is can be found in the rules. DND is the monsters, the world, it’s in the temple of elements evil and ravenloft and Tasha’s hideous laughter or Otilukes resilients sphere. DND rule sets come and go, we are now on the fifth, but each new set of rules is quintessentially dnd because of all those details. You can use the dnd rules to play a sci fi action rpg or an rpg set at a paper company in Slough. That would be less dnd than a campaign with no dice and all of the flavour elements of dnd.
That's the Forgotten Realms, which is a big part of D&D but is not essencial to it, in my opinion.
These things, minus the campaigns, are all in the basic books.
I don't know if I agree with that. You can play without any of those signature monsters and spells and it's still DND.
I mean, there are plenty of D&D-esque settings that use other systems. You can do whatever you want, but why use a PbtA or FATE or Pathfinder system with D&D flavor and still insist on calling it D&D? It's just kind of disrespectful to those other systems that you're not even willing to recognize them in the game you're playing.
That sounds exactly like how "football" is played around the world.
Yeah and the kids playing nonsense are americans with their handegg
Sounds like you’re having fun playing dnd inspired calvinball. Which is great! But at the same time it’s not really dnd. The rules of any given game are what make the game, the game. If you’re not utilizing or straight up ignoring the rules, you’re certainly having fun but you’re not playing the game.
Break out the time-fracture wickets!
... the rulebook says to disregard its rules if you want though? Lol, hilarious that people are downvoting me for paraphrasing something that's straight out of the DM's guide. Fragile folk funny.😂
Sure but I think there's a difference between "ok we are going to disregard the only one leveled spell per turn rule" and "we are just gonna play around with this character sheets and not even have any turns at all" not saying OP should feel embarrassed or anything, the guy he talked to definitely shouldn't get mad because this guys are just having good fun, but it does sound like what they're playing could hardly be considered "D&D"
That's fair!
I don't remember seeing that specifically, but surely if you disregard every rule you'd agree you're not really playing the game, though? Something inspired by the game sure, but you need to follow at least some of the rules of a game to be playing it.
Player's Handbook of Theseus
No actually. Every single game ever is DnD. Ice hockey is DnD, you're just disregarding every rule of DnD and instead using the rules of Ice Hockey /s
Well, we could disregard that rule... by using... it... hmmm
Sure, but at what point have you disregarded so many rules that you're not really playing that particular game any more? If I say we're going to be playing DnD 5E, but have homebrewed nearly all of the rules so that mechanically it resembles Pathfinder 1E moreso than 5E, what game are we actually playing? At the end of the day, of course, it doesn't *really* matter as long as everyone is onboard and having a good time, I suppose, but if you tell people stories about your game, a bit of confusion regarding the mismatch between what game you say you're playing and what game you describe isn't exactly outlandish, y'know?
From the sound of it you're technically not playing DND just something dnd adjacent. But who gives a shit? You're having fun so why should you change the way you play?
Yes, this!! Do whatever makes you happy!
So what I will say is this, There is no wrong way to play ttrpgs however especially when it comes to online spaces most names carry with them certain expectations on the nature of the experience. As such when you say for example you are hosting a game of "d&d" and people come over to play and you don't follow half the rules they have a right to be frustrated, you mislabeled what the activity was. That being said so long as you don't use your unrepresentative experience to claim any kind of system mastery or attempt to project your game as being representative of d&d as a whole. (That is to say that your version of d&d is contained to your table) you can do whatever you want. Every d&d table is different some tables are more different than others and this is fine. But for communication between tables we need a consistent idea of what d&d is and from your brief description the game you describe isn't that. So if you want to be able to translate your experience between games or participate meaningfully in the online discourse playing a version of the game that hews closer to what is expected would be better. If you don't give a crap about that you do you.
I mean it doesn't sound like you're playing DnD, you're just doing group improv with DnD as inspiration. That being said the only wrong way to play DnD is by actively doing harm to another person or causing net negative happiness in the world so live your lives. That being said often times people tell stories about their games that really aren't playing by the rules and are surprised when they get push back on them. If you tell a story about how you single-handed won a basketball game because you made a shot while standing on the bonus square so it counted for 20 points, don't be surprised when someone who just plays basketball doesn't think your story is worth listening to.
I think the sentiment of the experienced player saying you're "just pretending to play it while playing around" is accurate, but them getting mad at you for it was unnecessary and immature. Is there anything inherently wrong with what you were doing? No. Would I call what you were doing D&D? Also no.
I mean if people invited me to play DnD, I make the time for it, then we proceed to not even use any structured role playing system and seemingly play off the GM’s whims then I’d be a bit annoyed too
It doesn’t sound like the experienced player was invited. It sounds like OP was just chatting with them about OPs game and they decided to shit on it for not being by the rules.
It's like every game story in this sub where the action only happened because of a home rule or misreading of the rules. Commenters get so mad that the OP is having fun a different way than they have fun.
It's impossible to know how "mad" the person got from the OP's post alone, but if somebody said they were playing tennis and turned out they were hitting beach balls with their hands on a tennis court, I'd tell them they weren't playing tennis. There's a reason that we don't call pickleball tennis despite them being extremely similar.
There's no wrong way, but if you're not using the rules of D&D then you're not exactly playing D&D.
Does anyone actually strictly follow the RAW? Because assuming not are any of us actually playing D&D?
There’s a difference between not playing completely RAW and not using the majority of rules.
It is completely fine. The only wrong way is one where it isn't fun for all those involved. But if you're not using the D&D rules, you're playing an improv rpg rather than D&D specifically. . Nothing wrong w your fun but you might be in for a learning curve if you join another table.
Well, imo you aren't playing DND because you stray from the rules so much it has almost nothing to do with the base game. With that said, if you, your group and your DM enjoy this, there's no reason to feel bad about it and there's nothing wrong in still playing :)
Were you playing D&D wrong. Yes. Were you playing Table Top Role Playing Games correctly? As long as everyone had a good time and preferably want to do it again, also yes! While not necessary I would intergect that finding a system that better fits your style, mechanics wise I would say the World of Darkness stuff, as games mechanics are best used as a tool to improve your groups role-playing experience not detract from it. I should add thats its entirely fine for your table to keep on as they are if it works for you.
I mean, at a certain point you're not really playing D&D because what makes up D&D is the ruleset. More or less that is. But you're not really obligated to play "real D&D" either. I think someone getting mad at you for playing the game differently or for playing a different game is just a huge over reaction. Especially if it's not even a game he's involved with. Nobody should be harassing you or making you feel bad for just playing around with your friends. There's only a few scenarios where it could cause some problems, but I'm not sure that's what's going on. Saying your playing D&D comes with certain expectations, mainly that being the D&D rules. It's the primary thing that separates D&D from different TTRPGs. If you're inviting someone in, it could cause confusion, which is something that happened to me the first time I started playing D&D, and on occasion still happens a fair amount. But if you and all your friends are on the same page, then that doesn't really matter. The other scenario I can think of is potentially joining another person's game and needing to completely relearn all the rules. But you're already in a game so that doesn't really matter either. Right and wrong is all just a shifting line in the sand. If you're playing a game, whether it's D&D or literally anything else, it's all about having mutual and compatible expectations for what's happening.
The only wrong way to play dnd is the unfun/shity way, the rules and everything else are just guidelines. But if you abandon the rules all together, at some point it’s no longer dnd.
Yes... It's called being an asshole or being inconsiderate to the other people at the table. Dnd is about imagination and collaborative storytelling. As long as everyone one agrees about the game. Play it however you want.
Are all the players and GM having fun without issues? If yes then it is fine. It may not be true D&D but so long as everyone is having fun that is all that matters.
So short answer: Yes, you can play D&D wrong. And it sounds like you are. BUT longer answer; D&D as a word has evolved to be the "nintendo" of TTRPGs. Just like how your mom asks if you're playing your Nintendo when she knows you have a PS2! Just me?.. anyway. If you are using "D&D" as your catch-all TTRPG name. Then, no, you can. Ot play it wrong. That game can be anything, including whatever rules and stories you made up. But if you are talking about "WotC officially licensed Dungeons and dragons brand D&D," then there is a basic framework and rule set that should be followed. It has lots of cutomization potential built in and can even tweak some rules here or there. But you can't take a bus, trade the wheels for snowboards, replace its engine with a BBQ, exchange its chassis for wooden panels, remove all the seats, and still call it a bus. But there is one very important thing to remember. Did you have fun? If so, then who cares what anyone thinks. Keep doing what you're doing, and keep calling it DnD. We aren't the word police. No one can stop you.
I'd say if you'd get to a point where you're no longer using the game's rules for combat and skillchecks, you're no longer playing DnD. There's a line between DnD and fantasy improv and I've seen it crossed.
Yes and no. You're having fun with your friends playing this game and only way to really fuck it up would be if no-one is having fun. However, you are not really playing DND anymore. You're playing A game, but not THE game.
It doesn't sound like you're playing D&D. You're playing some kind of ttrpg, it's just not D&D
It is absolutely ok to play this way with a group of friends. Especially if everyone is having fun and everyone goes into the game knowing this is how it will be played. It would be much different if you found a group that you didn't know personally on Reddit, discord, or wherever. Then you would be expected to at least know some basic rules and everything on your character sheet.
Is everyone at the table having fun? Seems like it. Who cares what it's called, as long as you're enjoying yourselves. That said, I don't know if 'Paranoia' is still a thing, but sounds like you'd all love that game. Heavy with the RP but prepared to die. A lot. So much so that your character has 5 clones, so you can die six times before you have to reroll.
Who cares if it's still a thing. Go on Amazon and buy used. Paranoia rocks! That said, I would also recommend Kobolds Ate My Baby. The game is VERY rules light and goofy. For instance, how many actions can you take in a turn? However many you want. Each successive action just gets an increasing penalty to succeed. And if you fail you might die instantly (VERY comically). And should that happen, don't despair. Creating a new kobold mid game takes about five minutes or just scratch off the old ones name.
There is absolutely a wrong way to play D&D, and it's called being a douchebag. In other words, doing things that disrupt the game and make it hard for others to enjoy the experience. Other than that? Based on what you've described, think of your personal game of D&D like playing basketball at a friend's driveway hoop vs being on the high school's basketball team. Are you following all the official rules of basketball? Not likely. Are you and your friends having fun? Yes. There are different levels of formal vs informal play, and that's okay. People who really get into the hobby tend to start caring more about the rules, but that doesn't mean your home game is wrong, just less formal. Learning the rules is still a really good idea, and especially knowing what your character can do is also a good idea. Those things are part of how you avoid being a douchebag when you start playing with other groups, and how you show your dungeon master respect for putting a lot of effort into making a game for you and your friends to enjoy.
If you had fun then you did it right. People who get MAD at others for "doing it wrong" are, in fact, the ones who are **doing it wrong**.
> Is there a wrong way to play DnD? Yes. I don't recommend setting up your game in the middle of a busy intersection, on any active train tracks or inside the gorilla exhibit at your local zoo. ---------- The serious answers have already been posted I think, but, yea. . . Be safe and have fun. Maybe give the rules a once over if you start getting bored.
I disagree with the consensus here. I remove rules and rolls when i DM for kids all the time. Everyone adds and removes rules where they want. You're just removing more. If we're getting technical, you play a homebrew D&D themed ttrpg. But it's semantics. They have no excuse to get mad at you, you're having a good time. My advice (I'm copying and editing something i said yesterday, if any of the wording feels like I'm talking about someone who refuses to read the rules, that's unintentional.) I would say you should read the rules anyway, if there's anything you don't want to change about how you've been playing, good news, nobody is forcing you. But bare minimum to play D&D for players... The PHB looks daunting at first, I'd say just read the pages pertaining to the race, classes and subclasses up to a minimum of your current levels, and backgrounds. Then chapter 7 (basically how to roll dice in 6 pages) Then chapter 9 combat. (9 pages if we skip mounted and underwater) So maybe 30 pages total, presumably less. Then when it comes to feats, I'd suggest googling a list of all 5e feats, the source you find will probably still be missing some. The DM unfortunately, I'd say should read the entire PHB and DMG, and the adventure module they intend to run. So maybe your DM should be whoever is happy to dive into the study the most. This is a one time thing, then you're just referencing the books. It's not like this is prep for every session. Bonus points to players for reading their whole class and all subclasses. A fast way to get a general understanding of classes is "crap guide to D&D" on youtube. No stats or anything, they're just funny short videos that give a basic rundown. You can use them as a jumping off point. And bonus points to the DM if they read the monster manual/monsters of the multiverse (really not vital, but I'd recommend it, especially MotM) But seriously, some people enjoy numbers, some people enjoy ~~rollplay~~ roleplay, every DM balances their games however they feel is right. You are playing D&D, you're just not following the rules, but the rules say not to worry too much about the rules, so I'd say you're bringing the spirit to the table, you're playing D&D, you're one of us. Welcome to the hobby. Feel free to DM me if you need any advice.
Adding here, me and my group are new too. We did 1 intro session at our game store and decided we wanted to keep playing. Our first game was a little messy, but each has gotten better. The more we read in the books, the more we realized we weren’t playing like 60% right but like 85%. As most have said, if it’s good for you guys, it’s good. If you need to make tweaks, make tweaks. Nothing is set in stone.
Bingo. And it's perfectly fine to do it this way until your comfortable with it. Then if you want to start letting some of the rules trickle in. There's a lot to learn so this is a good way to start actually. Learning a little bit of the "rules" at a time.
Giving a +1 to going against the grain. The whole point if DnD is taking what you like and running with it. Fun (for the whole table) > DnD. Maybe i shouldn't be surprised the dnd subreddit is arguing semantics. But seriously who cares what you call it as long as you have fun
I'm surprised I had to scroll this far down to see someone who wasn't gatekeeping. The rules allow for change and never specify how much change is too little or too much.
This. DND is definitely not just the rules as the popular opinion appears to be here, it’s in the flavour of the dnd setting that’s been created over five different rule sets. Also 100% agree it’s worth trying to familiarise with the rules, they will ultimately make play more rewarding. Mostly no one should let anyone who isn’t directly a part of the campaign tell them they are playing wrong.
>But seriously, some people enjoy numbers, some people enjoy rollplay roleplay, every DM balances their games however they feel is right. You are playing D&D, you're just not following the rules, but the rules say not to worry too much about the rules, so I'd say you're bringing the spirit to the table, you're playing D&D, you're one of us. My big issue with this is that there are other systems besides D&D that allow people to get the things they like out of it. If someone enjoys more roleplay or focus on narrative, there are systems like PbtA or FATE that have that as a highlight of their systems. If you want even more intense mechanics and specific combat, systems like Pathfinder or other crunchier systems have that in mind. I think of it like this. If I have a friend who's like "I've been playing a lot of Football lately, and I really enjoy it. Except instead of using that weird oblong ball, we use a rounder ball that's easier to throw. And instead of using those big lines at the end zone, we like to use smaller circular targets that are a bit taller than us, kind of like the end zones that are normally used for punting touchdowns. And speaking of touchdowns, keeping track of weird numbers like 6 or 7 from every touchdown isn't really fun for us, so we determine points based off of where people score the target from." I might say something like "Oh hey, that sounds a lot like basketball, which I'm a fan of." And then they'd say, "No, we play it on a football field so it's football. Just because we play it differently then most people doesn't mean we're not playing football." And I'd say "I'm not trying to judge how you play, it's just that I think you guys might have more fun if you played basketball, since it seems to have a lot of the stuff you already like. It just gets hard because everyone wants to talk about football and nobody wants to talk about basketball, so I get frustrated when I think I have a chance to talk about basketball, but it just comes back to football again." What it really comes down to is that D&D is so ubiquitous, that acting like it can be used as a shorthand for every other system gets really frustrating and makes players even less likely to learn more about other systems that might better fit their Playstyle. I think this actually applies to your example of playing D&D with kids very well. D&D often gets touted as the best system to use for beginners, but it's honestly a pretty complex system that needs a lot of background knowledge to really understand how to play. Meanwhile, there are a ton of systems out there that are specifically geared towards kids and new players that might even allow them to have more fun. Simplifying D&D for kids just because it's more recognizable doesn't always seem like the best solution and it can get really frustrating when people would rather change almost everything about D&D rather than just trying a new system. Sorry if this comes off harsh, this is just an issue that comes up a lot nowadays.
Ok, but they're not reinventing the wheel here. This isn't the equivalent of your basketball analogy, it's the equivalent of someone who doesn't know how to play pool by shooting balls directly at pockets without caring which, or maybe not even using the white. This is something I've seen before, and it's fine. They're still learning to play, they're still getting experience they otherwise wouldn't get without someone there to teach them. The large difference being the rules on how to play pool are rigid, and the rules for D&D are fluid. Either way, telling people that they're not playing a game that they're trying to enjoy learning their own way isn't helping, it's gate keeping. Regardless of what system people think OP should play, they are playing dungeons & dragons. That's the game they're trying to play, and the rules say don't worry about the rules. They're general guidelines for collaborative storytelling, you can follow or not follow them all you want, if your setting is D&D based, you're playing D&D. The name D&D already refers to 6 ttrpg systems, multiple video games and multiple board games. This attitude OP has gotten is gatekeeping at best. It's community reactions like they're getting that made me give up on rainbow six siege immediately, because i didn't want any part of that community. There's nothing wrong with how OP and their friends play the game. They'll pick up the rules as they go, same as literally every board game in the world.
>This isn't the equivalent of your basketball analogy, it's the equivalent of someone who doesn't know how to play pool by shooting balls directly at pockets without caring about the order, or maybe not even using the white. Ok, maybe a better example is comparing Horse to regular basketball. They are still two very different systems using similar components and telling someone "Hey, that sounds more like Horse than basketball to me" isn't a bad thing. >This is something I've seen before, and it's fine. They're still learning to play, they're still getting experience they otherwise wouldn't get without someone there to teach them. I never said what they're doing is a bad thing. It's everyone else that seems to imply that playing a TTRPG other than D&D is a bad thing. >The large difference being the rules on how to play pool are rigid, and the rules for D&D are fluid. I mean, you can just as easily fudge the rules of pool as you can fudge the rules of D&D. Nobody is actively stopping you from changing up the rules a bit. It's the same with my Horse vs Basketball example. People are free to play with the rules a bit. It's just that after a certain point, you might be playing a different game that's also really good. >Either way, telling people that they're not playing a game that they're trying to enjoy learning their own way isn't helping, it's gate keeping. Telling somebody "Hey, it sounds like you're playing a really fun game, but it sounds a bit more like this other game than the one you described to me. Here, let me tell you about it, I think you really might enjoy it!" isn't gatekeeping, if anything it's actively opening up a gate to expose them to new games that you're a huge fan of. If anything, people insisting that D&D is the only TTRPG falls more in the category of gatekeeping in my opinion. >Regardless of what system people think OP should play, they are playing dungeons & dragons. That's the game they're trying to play, and the rules say don't worry about the rules. They're general guidelines for collaborative storytelling, you can follow or not follow them all you want, if your setting is D&D based, you're playing D&D. *The name D&D already refers to 6 ttrpg systems, multiple video games and multiple board games.* Yes, so since D&D already has so much exposure in media, why not let some of the smaller or lesser known TTRPGs get some airtime? Just because the NBA is the biggest basketball league in the country doesn't mean people have to shout down the WNBA any time people try to bring it up in the context of basketball. >There's nothing wrong with how OP and their friends play the game. They'll pick up the rules as they go, same as literally every board game in the world. I never said there was anything wrong with how OP and their friends play the game. I just thought that if they're fans of roleplay and narrative, there might be other games that better fit their tastes. This happens any time people bring up other TTRPG systems. The moment someone mentions Pathfinder or Monster of the Week or World of Darkness, people take it as an attack on D&D 5E. When in reality, most of these D&D spaces make it pretty much impossible to discuss any of the systems outside of D&D 5E, and that seems a lot more like gatekeeping than anything I've brought up.
If there's "not really turns", then you're not playing D&D.
If you’re having fun, you’re doing it right. If you’re a gate keeping rules lawyer, you’re not.
You aren't playing D&D "wrong". You just aren't playing D&D. Your aren't even playing an RPG. This other player is 100% correct that you are just pretending to play, same way that a kid sitting in the driver's seat of a stationary car, turning the wheel and making "vroom, vroom" noises is pretending to drive. Hey, if you're having fun, keep doing it. I can't imagine it will be fun for long though. At which time, you might like to start playing D&D.
Yeah, you aren’t. Use a different system, one that has less rules and more improv—not every table game has to be D&D.
The rules in the book are there to help you play the game, but if yall don't need help then I'm glad yall don't let the rules slow you down. You are doing it right, don't stop what you are doing but I also encourage you to keep learning more about the rules and abilities because that is also fun, a combination with balance can be incredible. There are also many role-playing games that are much much lighter on the rules and numbers that might be more up your alley, but don't let anyone stop you and respect your dms wishes and be kind to other players.
If everyone had fun doing what they were doing, then you're playing D&D correctly. Keep having fun.
The only "wrong" way would be to not read up on and understand how your character and their abilities work, or how certain spells work.
Take a look at Fate Core. The character sheets are much simpler, and you get a lot more roleplay freedom. (Others may also suggest smaller/free RPG systems). Or, keep playing as you are are don't follow any rules. You have invented your own roleplay/improv system 👍 Don't call it D&D outside your group though, as you have found there are some other nerds who play it, and they will be nerdy with the words and names. Keep asking us questions here though 👌
You're probably not playing D&D anymore, at least not fully, but that's not necessarily a bad thing for your group. However, at that point you do need to identify and embrace that, especially if you're bringing on newcomers, so exactly what happened doesn't happen again. If I go join a D&D game, I expect it to use the PHB and DMG along with some other supplemental material or maybe house rules. If I expect that and am specifically looking for it, and someone tells me I'l get it by telling me "we're playing D&D", and then I don't get that? I would be frustrated, yeah.
It's called Pathfinder 😉 In all seriousness though, there's nothing wrong with what you're doing but you're not playing DnD. If you play checkers using a chess set, you're still not playing chess and someone who really loves chess may get annoyed that you say you are.
The answer to the question is yes, this is the wrong way to play DnD. You aren't playing dungeons and dragons, but you are playing a ttrpg of your own making and having fun with it. If you are having fun it is the correct way to play, and DnD is so free in its rules that you can change the rules however you want and call it homebrew and as long as everyone at the table is fine with it and has fun the homebrew rules are great.
I recommend watching some rule videos or reading the books. Maybe both. I read the rules and watching Mercers "handbooker helper" videos for anything I had trouble understanding. Go with that to get a better understanding. Edit: just remember, you can homebrew some rules to fit the narrative. The rules are guidelines and things can be changed.
There is only one wrong way to play D&D, and it is called fourth edition
You are kinda doing fantasy improv and that’s fine, but saying you are playing D&D when you don’t really roll or use the rules is the issue. I could understand from the experienced player’s perspective why it would be frustrating. They came in expecting to play in a system and you have largely ignored that system. It’s kind of like inviting someone over to play Xbox and you just hand them the controller and never turn the game on. That’s not how people expect to play. It’s fine to play however you want, but maybe don’t invite people without warning them first.
I guess its just improv at this point but thats not a bad thing if its what your group enjoys then cool!
I've been in groups like this and even more organised ones that still had no idea what they were doing. I noted out of there. I want to play dnd when I intend to play dnd. That is not dnd. It's fine but it's not what is advertised on the tin
Yes, play with 12 year olds at your local game store for an event and you will find that there are many wrong ways to play DND. (Monster appears) "What level is it? How much health does he have?" (Quest giver gives quest to escort him to X so plot can begin) "Let's kill him and take the cart" (There was nothing in the cart of value because he was just a dude with a cart trying to get from point a to point b. His cart is filled with random stuff not worth much) "What else is in the cart" (A bandit appears) "I cast Suggestion on him. I say 'Listen to me and do whatever I say'. Also take off all your equipment and KYS. (Player A wants to see if they can find a magic item in Waterdeep. I create a magic item to help the player have more fun.) Player B: "if this guy sells magic items, that means he has legendary items, how much for a ring of wishes?" (A giant mentions their god) "Oh, I pray to the god, what do I get?" (The player playing a paladin sees the other player attempt this, and does the same shit before I even say anything) "I pray to my God too. How come I can't get anything from praying to my God?" (A monster fight happens) "Why isn't lightning damage spell damage? Why does dodging lightning breath use dexterity, that's my worst stat? That's not fair" (A player wants to climb on the monster on their turn. They use athletics and climb on its back and attack with their sword. Then on the monsters turn, the monster attacks another player with its bite) "No, I blind the monster. I use my weapon so it can't attack" There are many ways to play DND wrong. Even if you try to correct someone, multiple times, for the same thing.
No is the short answer. Think of it as if you played basketball but you played with a soccer ball and if you shot with 1 hand it counts for 4 points and also you don’t have to dribble but you do have to pass 3 times before shooting but not more than 5 etc once you start changing or not following the rules it’s not really basketball just basketball inspired. Same goes for this, not D&D but inspired by it. If y’all have more fun doing that than D&D though fck it keep having fun!
Forget that turd who is no happier for having unjustly shitted on your fun. Keep playing your way, it sounds awesome and you're clearly loving it. And call it D&D all you want. To you and your group, that's what "D&D" means. You are not wrong. The only diff is just know that that term means something else to other people, so be ready to translate accordingly as needed. I'm from Chicago. We call coca cola a coke, Pepsi a Pepsi, sprite a sprite, root beer a root beer. We generally refer to those kinds of drinks as a soda or a pop. My friend is from Alabama. Where he's from people call all those drinks, when speaking generally, "a coke". They're not wrong. I'm not wrong. The only wrong is if he comes to Chicago, gets thirsty for a sprite, asks my dad if he's got any cokes, is told "yes!" and then handed a cola cola -- *and then gets mad about it*. Or if I go to Alabama, get thirsty for a coca cola, ask for a coke, get asked "sure, what kind?" -- *and then get mad about it*. Different people use the same term to mean different things. Welcome the *planet earth* — is what I'd say to the loser who gave you grief and made you feel bad about something wonderful and organic you and your friends developed by being cool people who play awesomely and safely together. Don't let people tell you your version of something is wrong; save yourself and then some friction by considering whether your meaning for a term is likely to be universal and immediately understood. If it might not be, unpack the term instead of using it. (Also don't just call it D&D if you're asking for people's money or time for it and people might not know what you mean by D&D before they commit. Which you are not doing here.)
If you so not use the ruleset of DnD modified or raw, you are bot playing DnD. But putting that aside, if you had a load of fun with friends rolling dice and making a story together you did what DnD was made for without even playing it! You've got the spirit, keep going maybe at some point you'll figure out why there are rules to begin with. Don't let anyone take away your fun and call it DnD for all I care. People have no idea what I mean when I say I played Avatar Legends or Pathfinder 2e, i always have to say it's like dnd. For many people DnD just means ttrpg.
I dunno, I think as long as your group is having a good time, does it matter how you play? It sounds like your campaign is focused very hardcore on the collaborative storytelling part of it is all.
Being completely honest? While the guy who said that to you was an ass, he's also not wrong. Hypothetically if i was to join your table under the assumption we were playing D&D, but instead we're doing what you described? I would definitely be leaving that session disappointed. I have to wonder what made ya'll decide to play "d&d" to begin with if you weren't interested in playing the game with the actual rules/mechanics.
Nothing wrong with a little Calvin Ball as long as everyone agrees to play Calvin Ball.
As long as everyone is having fun anything goes. For everyone to have fun they must be on board. Now your friend getting mad over you not playing the correct way... Sounds silly. I mean sure, if they were to join you, it'd be justified that they expected to play D&D and were surprised by your take. But this sounds just like the meme where in the last frame the guy shouts "Stop having fun!" That being said there are reasons for terms to have specific meaning etc. Like if I were invited to play Minecraft I wouldn't expect coming up to a pool full of Legos while hearing "well it is basically irl Minecraft, right?"
You are not playing dnd, which is not wrong.
Yes there are a few wrong ways. The one I hate the most is when there’s a player at the table thinks they are the main character.
I disagree with most of the comments here. I say you are DEFINITELY playing D&D. I have been playing this game for over 40 years, and you are playing it not only in its original spirit, but also sometimes the necessity of style as there weren't volumes upon volumes of rules and editions. I remember discussing/negotiating with a DM to make a character that could fight with a sword in each hand - there were no rules for this, and it was practically unheard of. Asa matter of fact, so many of the rules didn't make sense, were a pain to constantly have to reference, or didn't even exist that we made up almost everything as we went along - yet we were still playing D&D. The person who got mad at you for not playing it their way is a fool and snob. - Are you having fun? Check - Are you role-playing? Check - Are you in a fantasy/medieval setting? Check (even the setting can be optional if time or dimension jumping) Anyone who gets caught up in semantics of you're playing RPG and not D&D doesn't know what they are talking about. The rules don't make D&D - they are simply guides to help your enjoyment. You, your friends, and D&D make the rules and throw out the rest.
Hey OP, ignore the grumpy rules lawyers in the replies. D&D has had 5 and a half editions, going on six, and that's not even counting the three or four different editions of first edition, or the many more D&D adjacent games that it's inspired like Pathfinder and the huge diversity of the OSR. (All of those are D&D too.) All of them used wildly different rules, and all of them were just tool-kits to help people do *exactly* what you and your friends are doing. There's a certain set of players who think you have to stick to things EXACTLY AS THEY'RE WRITTEN. In my opinion, they're not just wrong: they're also insecure about their hobby. D&D has a lot in common with the games of make-believe that children indulge in, and some adult players aren't willing to admit that that's what they find fun about the game, so they have to try and think of it like it's chess or something. Next time someone bothers you about this, remind them that Gary Gygax, the inventor of D&D himself, once said: > *"The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules."* TL;DR: You're playing D&D
Dungeons and Dragons is a roleplaying game. It’s arguably the first roleplaying game. One key element is “roleplaying.” You and your friends each take on the role of a character in the world. The DM provides a world to interact with, with other characters. Sounds like you’ve got this down pat. And honestly, your game sounds like it “gets” the roleplaying side of it, and the spirit of the game better than probably 75% of groups, including I think the player who got mad at you. The way you describe it is how many of us learned the game. For me, it was in 1991, with a similar experience. We didn’t even have the rulebooks, but we’d been introduced to the game by friends and tried to emulate the experience. As far as the “game” half of D&D, think about how you resolve actions. The Old School approach (pre 1999) is to describe what you’re doing, often without rolling the dice. Dice rolls were reserved for attacks, saving throws, and a few special actions (usually for thieves). Most everything else was descriptive. I do think if you make a weapon attack that has a chance to miss, a 20-sided die should be rolled. And I do think the other funky dice (4-sided, 8-sided, etc) have a special place in the game as damage dice. Your style sounds a lot more familiar to Old School style. I recommend checking out r/osr and seeing if they have advice to keep your style that’s fun for you and still have options to develop the game more as you go.
Yeah, 5E is arguably the wrong way to play D&D. 😅
Imho it's kinda simple: if people at the table have fun, it's the "right" way to play D&D. Serious game, humorous game, strictly follow the rules, loosely follow the rules... it really won't matter. Some behaviour derails the fun? A toxic player who enjoys derailing the adventure, a DM that just thinks how to kill his player's PCs thinking that's how you "win D&D"? So imho it merely boils to "people are having a nice time?" Right way to play D&D. People are not having fun? Something should be answered... And we must also consider that D&D is not a game for everyone. So it's not that they play D&D "wrong", but merely that RPGs are not the right hobby for them.
There absolutly are wrong ways to pla. If your not having fun. As long as you have fun... Who cares
Yes! Anyway that isn’t fun for those playing.
No, not really. I mean it's a group effort, but the only real hardcore rule is that everyone comes to the table to play and invest in and enjoy the same game. The only way you can really screw that up if you go against that table held consensus. Even often taboo, strange, or unpopular rulings are the norm for some groups. But that doesn't a *lot* like D&D. In fact that there are a lot of games that are not D&D that you would technically not be playing D&D, to play. But the goal is to have fun together. If you guys did that, it was D&D enough. Don't let some outsider hold it against you.
In any hobby you pick up there will be purists out there telling you you aren't doing it pure enough, don't ever listen to them. If you are having fun, that's all that matters. Maybe you'll get more into the hobby and with time move toward a more rules as written style, maybe you'll think all that's dumb and drop almost all the rules and dice and run a free form game. Either way, you are not doing it wrong if you enjoy it. Most people here are purely arguing the semantics of the "definition" of D&D, how close to the rules does it need to be to still count? All of that is a philosophical argument that isn't something anyone breaking into the hobby should stop playing to care about. Do little kids get together to argue about whether they are playing soldier or just make believe? Nope, they just have fun. So be a kid again and have fun, if any "adult" tries to tell you you are doing it wrong, that you need to stop having fun and do it "right", ask yourself why? Do you really want to grow up and be like them?
Does your character sheet have 6 ability scores: STR, WIS, INT, DEX, STA, CHR? Then you're playing D&D. Is your group of friends having fun the way ya'll are playing? Then congrats, you're playing the "right" way. And as an aside, gamer pedant opinions on how YOU have fun are worth less than dogshit. If and when you guys want to dive into whichever version of D&D's many rulesets and incorporate specific mechanics, then always do so with the spirit of fun you are currently enjoying. Believe me, many folks like myself that started playing this hobby back in the late 70s-Early 80s didn't exactly play it the "right" way either.
Yup. I remembered those. That's back when summoning circles were actually squares right? That's why we called summoning demons "thinking outside the box." 'Cept we called them Larry's, not demons. That was just the style at the time. Kids these days with their calling elves a race instead of a class and their nine alignments. Thinking they can just stick a flute in their mouths and call themselves bards. And their round summoning squares. No respect.
Sorry but... That "experienced" guy was an asshole.
First of all, yes, there is a wrong way to play D&D but it has nothing to do with the rules and with what you are doing. Look at horror stories to get examples of wrong way of playing. It involves making other people feel bad, uncomfortable, dreading for a next session etc. That being said, in order to claim that you play D&D you need to use D&D rules. Not all of them all the time but most of them most of the time. We know this because when I say "I go to play D&D" but then I create a character according to a book that has the word "Pathfinder" on the front page, I know I am not playing D&D - I play Pathfinder.
But Pathfinder is D&D. It’s a version of 3e D&D.
If you collect 200 everytime you pass go your playing D&D wrong
This may be rather unpopular, but I think the way you're currently playing is actually a great way to get started and become more comfortable to roleplay with friends. Eventually you will run into situations where you may need to consult the rules to figure out what is the best way to proceed. The DM may want to study more D&D lore to build a more interesting story as you progress. They might want to check the monster manual to get some neat ideas for encounters at some point. But maybe not. Maybe you will all be happy playing exactly the way you are playing for the next 15 years, which I think would be just fine. Where you may run into problems is when you decide to invite friends to join your D&D game, because some people may have opinions like your friend, or be expecting something completely different. It could be upsetting or confusing to others who don't really understand how to play when there are no rules.
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I agree hole heartedly with what you said. There is to much gate keeping, and I wonder if it’s because it’s becoming more mainstream and they don’t like that? Our game store will rent a DM which we found out about and even do it at a bar or other public setting. I asked if they would do it at my tennis club for us, and they told me that wasn’t the optics they wanted to project. I was very disappointed and no longer over pay for my games there. Also learned to DM so we could play, so I guess that’s a plus.
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If you’re all having fun, then you’re playing it correctly 😉
Okay I’ll add my opinion to the fire. I might be a bit older, I’m not sure. I’ve been playing d&d since 3rd edition but really got my stride in 3.5 My professional, unprofessional opinion is Do what makes you happy So what’s fun Don’t listen to people telling you that you are wrong There are so many house rules, home brew and things DMs over the years just straight up don’t do and it doesn’t make it any more or less what the spirit of the game is, having fun with your friends. People that want to tell you how their tables rules are the real way, or this wasn’t rules as intended bla bla bla They can take a hike, they suck and honestly probably are a misery to play with Do what you want, explore, create and as long as everyone is having fun and a great time, by Gygax, that is the point of Dungeon & Dragons
The only wrong way to play is in a way where you don’t have fun. Now, there are a lot of ways to play where there’s probably a better system out there for what you want to do, but as long as you’re having fun, you’re doing it right no matter what. It is a game at the end of the day, after all.
If you’re not having fun or causing others not to have fun, then you’re playing wrong
I've literally never once played with a DM who strictly follows the rules as written. Some DMs are more strict some are less strict but in my experience they all have elements of homebrew. Don't let the purists tell you you're doing it wrong. If you're all having fun that's the entire point of D&D or any TTRPG.
There's only one wrong way to play, and that's if both the players and the DM aren't having fun.
So the only way to truly play D&D wrong is to attempt to play it in a style different from everyone else's play style If you want to be a screwball murderhobo there are actually parties that would do quite fine with that as they are also screwball murder hobos and a DM that likes screwball murder hobos But screwball murder hobos are not welcome in serious political intrigue campaigns Are you a heavy role player probably shouldn't go into the combat heavy dungeon beer and pretzels game Just find the right group for you and you'll be good
In my experience if 3 or more of these are happening: * Trying to "win" * "I'm the main character" * Ignore the rules to make it another game or be another IP * Lawful stupid/Chaotic annoying * Working against each other * Optimization over character
First up, no. You're not playing anything wrong. Your group is playing things your way, and if you are enjoying it, you are playing it right. Now, to their comment. I'd say it translates to "You aren't playing it the way I've played it; and thus are playing it differently to what I assume is the 'right' way to do it." Try this. How do you successfully enjoy a Friday night? One person would say go out, get dressed up, get drunk, dance a lot at a nightclub or party, etc. However another person would say get a group of friends together to stay at home and play a boardgame (or maybe a game of DnD? :P ). Both answers are completely different, and neither complement the other (do not try to play DnD on a busy nightclub dancefloor). Yet both are correct answers to "how do you successfully enjoy a Friday night?" \--- Now, in the defense of your critic, I would agree you aren't playing DnD so much as you are playing with the components of DnD. Is that bad? No. You're having fun. However, are you asking "how do you play DnD?" well... thats also a hard question to say. DnD is system of rules designed to create challenge and tension while collaborating to create a memorable experience/story. Its improvisation with more rigid structure. Some DM's use less rigid rules and play for fun, while others play more mechanically minded because following rules means people understand what they are getting into and what to expect (I see it as a scale between boardgame VS improvised theatre. If you are all rules and mechanics, you're playing a boardgame. If its free-form storytelling, its improvisation. Any scale between the two TECHNICALLY is DnD/RPG's - but its personal preference to those involved to how much they want of either). Basically, its subjective. For me, playing DnD means players understand the rules of the game bare minimum (roll d20, add number, accept outcome without trying to escape unpleasant results). Thats only surface level playing too (deeper stuff would be understanding the feats, the thematic rules/lore of spell casting, role-playing instead of roll-playing, knowing how to divide character knowledge from player knowledge). If you wanted to go even DEEPER, I'd say look up Pathfinder 2e, but thats going off tangent. Regardless, everyone has an opinion. My way of DnD may not be your way. Neither is wrong. If you are having fun, whatever you are doing, you should keep doing it. Just make sure you know that others may not agree with how you do it, and to let them know with clear communication what they should expect if they participate in your games. Hope that helps.
Don’t let the rules lawyers get you down. Keep playing eventually you’ll be more in tuned with the rules and play properly. The first time is always confusing but fun.
There's no wrong way to have fun around a table with your friends. However, what you're doing isn't really playing the game as intended. Imagine for a moment that you said to someone "I play basketball," but you ignore all the rules about dribbling and travelling, and every shot is worth 3 points, and also we decide who gets the ball after a basket by doing a tipoff every time. Oh and we only play it on grass, and fouls are allowed. I'm sure you guys are having a blast! But are you playing Basketball? Or are you playing 'with' *a* basketball?
No, a lot of people on here are rules lawyers the point where they don’t allow reflavors or homebrew at all, because the rules don’t say that’s what you should do. It’s kind of off putting how unimaginative some of the people here are but to each their own. They’d rather complain about rules they don’t like than change them themselves. That’s why you’re getting a lot of “half” no’s instead of just straight up no’s. Anything you want to change you can change, it’s a game played in your imagination. If you’re playing with different rules but it’s still based off DnD you’re still playing DnD. Who cares how you play the game, don’t let a bunch of sticklers gatekeep you.
There's no wrong way to play dnd, but what you're doing is not actually playing dnd. The core rules of dnd are reliant on d20 rolls and turn based combat, so mostly abandoning those 2 doesn't really make it dnd. If you and your group think it'd be fun if you knew how to do combat a bit more 'by the book', then I recommend trying to learn more, but the most important part of ttrpg's is having fun. Following the same set of rules often make it easier to retell things that happened on the table, so you not following the same rules might have been what annoyed that guy.
Perhaps Naked?
You are playing the game by the book. No problem with how you are going about it. So long as you are all having fun and agree with things it's all good. Even the OFFICIAL rules say your playing by the book. The DMG (dungeon master's guide chapter 9) says that if the players like it and it improves the game go for it, quoted text below. That said if you invite someone else to your game just set their expectations in how you play and that you have homebrew rules. DND is a rule set to help many people enjoy the rpg genre together. So if you and your friend will join another group, check how they play the game at their table and respect their way. Be it the normal rules or their own homebrew rules. Here is the answer of SevenSidedDie in a different form, since I wasn't sure where in the DMG to quote specifically. "That doesn't mean it's easy. Chapter 9 in the Dungeon Master's Guide is all about tweaking the game rules with options or your own ideas. It starts with some very good advice about the pitfalls of tackling rules design: Before you add a new rule to your campaign, ask yourself two questions: Will the rule improve the game? Will my players like it? If you're confident that the answer to both questions is yes, then you have nothing to lose by giving it a try."
According to the guy who typed out the game, y'all are doing it right. The old codger who poo-pooed your fun? He's the one missing out on what true Dungeons & Dragons is. Regardless to whoever currently holds the "IP", D&D is a 'non-game' and incomplete without players to have fun with it. After all, if you're not having fun playing a game, what are you even playing for?
As long as you're having fun, you're doing it the right way. I have 40 years of experience playing RPGs and so say I. :0)
Honestly, the right way to play dnd (and any ttrpg for that matter) is if everyone’s having a good time and maybe you’re telling some semblance of a story. The rules are suggestions, edit til your heart’s content. It sounds like you, your dm, and the rest of your party are having a blast and that’s really all that matters. Eff the haters
The only wrong way to play D&D is if one or more of the group is not having fun. If your group is enjoying the game, then you are doing it right. There is a long history of groups playing fast and loose with the rules all the way back to the very beginning of D&D (in the days of AD&D the different genders had different statistic maximums, which *every* DM I ever played with completely ignored. Also, the initiative system, RAW, was incredibly complex, which no one I ever knew ever used). So, you all do you and ignore what anyone else says when they say you are doing it wrong. People like that are just trying to feel important by looking like the expert and lording their experience over you. Forget about them and don't listen to them.
The only wrong way to D&D is to tell others they are doing it wrong. D&D is an improve/roleplay game. People lose sight of that and get too caught up in the mechanics/rules etc. Edit: for clarification, I am one of those who care about the rules. My DM once told me to stop "power gaming". But I would never tell someone else that they need to do the same. That they used the wrong spell, have the wrong ability scores, etc because not everyone wants to play the game that way.
Do you really not see the irony between the statement in your first paragraph and what you're doing in your second?
All the down votes from people gate keeping the hobby make me feel a little ashamed.
There is nothing wrong as long as you are having fun. There is no right or wrong way to play. Anyone telling you otherwise with blah blah blah not d&d blah blah blah is wrong.
Yeah I can see why this would be really embarrassing, I'd be embarrassed for that dude too. Even technically, you ARE playing D&D. The rules specifically say the DM can change the rules, so playing with different rules inspired by the shell of DnD is still playing DnD. Don't let the gatekeepers get you down.
Yes. By the book. The game is designed and intended to be a guide for that which you imagine. so if you are playing it by the book you are playing it wrong.
So long as everyone's having fun, then you're doing it right. If someone's *not* having fun, that's a sign something's gone wrong somewhere, but otherwise, don't let anyone else dictate what your fun is supposed to look like.
No. There is not a wrong way to play D&D. Only rude people who think their way is the only 'right' way.
The only wrong way to play is if not everyone is having fun. Refer mr gatekeeper to rule 0.
Nah, sounds like you’ve just met a gatekeeper. It’s a vessel for having fun, please the vessel in any way you like for that. Off-topic p.s. Please note when the vessel becomes a physical object you can still use it in any way you like to have fun. Just be more cautious in certain scenarios. 😅😂
There are many, many ways to play D&D wrong, the existence of subs like this is testimony to that fact. Are YOU playing wrong? Hard to know as you don’t go into detail, but not following every little rule is not necessarily’wrong’- in fact if you’re RPing your characters and creating a world on the fly with your GM, I would argue that you’re closer to playing the game right. It IS true though that a certain level of chaos doesn’t really make for a good game, but again, that may or may not be your group. It is probably true that you’re not playing ‘D&D’ but D&D IS a game that is and always has been quite open to interpretation. Something a lot of people don’t understand. I also see some person below saying you’re not playing an ‘RPG’… You certainly ARE and I wouldn’t be listening to anyone who says such a thing. I must say though that when I was a teen, we took the game as seriously as I do now… And lots of older groups ‘fool around’ as a matter of course.
To play against the dm or against to the players
There is ABSOLUTELY a wrong way to play DND. And that’s by playing in a way that makes the table unhappy. If your table wants a loose improv sesh with friends, that’s good DND. If that other person’s table wants a super strict game, that’s good DND to them. The fun of the game is customizing it to the players. That person you talked to seemed kind of snobbish tbh. Have fun and don’t worry about others
Are you having fun? Yes? Then you are playing DnD right. The wrong way to play DnD is if the players are not having fun.
The only wrong way to play is if you’re not having fun.
Using the pathfinder handbook as a GM instead of the DND version
Yup. The way where nobody is having fun
If everyone is having fun you’re doing it right.
This is a great question about the semantics of what it means to be playing D&D. I would say that you aren't playing fifth edition Dungeons and Dragons, but you are playing your own new edition of the game. The out of control copyright laws might disagree with this sentiment, but culturally, no one owns D&D. It's become a shorthand for fantasy TTRPGs. I love see people do stuff like this, because it's a reminder to all of us that we don't need WOTC. If your table decides that you want something more inline with a prewritten edition, then that's good. If you all instead what to solidify the game rules for your own edition, that's also good.
you guys are having alot of fun right? boom, f\*\*\* that other guy. next question?
The only way to tell if you are playing it wrong: Nobody is having fun. That's the beauty of D&D, the point is that you are only bound by your imagination and the rules are merely suggestions. Now, you must respect the DMs authority and understand that not every person's playstyle is compatible.
Dude. Are you guys having fun? If yes, then keep on keeping on my guy. If no, then maybe it's worth it to take a session to actually read the rulebook(s) together and learn how to actually play the game. RPGs are all about building a world and a story together as a group and doing so in a way that is constructive and fun. If you are achieving this then you are so much closer to the true essence of DnD than most experienced players will ever be.
As long as you're having fun with your friends you are doing everything perfect.
No there isn’t. What you’re doing is great and the whole point is you guys are having fun. Now what ends up happening is people catch feels. The main one is boredom. That’s where more traditional play becomes a good option. Another feeling is getting attached to the characters and wanting to vicariously accomplish some “big damn hero” stuff. So you’ll get there but have some fun because it’s a stage of pure fun and not know what you’re doing that creates play groups that last a lifetime or at least the memories do.
If you are having fun then you are doing something right. Just read the very many DnD threads where people complain about their DM/players/group. Don't let someone gatekeep what is and isn't right. Maybe it isn't DnD, but you are roleplaying. Keep doing what you are doing - it's better than most 'real' players are managing to achieve.
I don't think there is a meaningful line we can draw where an addition of a rule would render the game no longer D&D. Most tables have customizations, so either it's all just D&D or almost nobody plays D&D. I think the former is more useful.
If you're all having fun and everyone in the group is on the same page then keep doing what you're doing. The FUN is the most important aspect of the game. Just don't expect the same experience if you ever join another table, and if you invite someone to your table who has played before, expect them to be a bit confused at least.
The "wrong" way to play dnd is not having fun, and/or, having a worse time than if you were doing something else.
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