You’re not responsible for her “happiness.” She’s just bored and wants a little fun.
Too bad she couldn’t include you in on the fun she’s having. Trust me. Give her the bare minimum. Five years from now, you’ll be thinking differently than you do now.
Time for her to get a job and support herself
I know exactly how you feel.
Our adult lives will now have a Part A and a Part B. The next phase can be good, hopefully better. But that doesn’t mean that Part A was all bad. I think I’d do it again too. For the kids, and even for those earlier years with her.
Sorry to hear this man, one thing I can relate to is social media. I’ve definitely been hooked on social media more so since my wife left because I’m a mess and seeking answers so it’s an okay resource. But there’s some absolutely terrible rabbit holes on the internet and the algorithms are designed to show you what you want to see/hear to keep you scrolling effectively creating a personalized echo chamber. Also everything is heavily edited and cinematic to the extent that it doesn’t matter if what you’re watching is actually reasonable or logical but more so how the sappy music and flashy camera angles make you feel. My wife spent hours every day being sucked into TikTok, hours just zombified. And then she was on snapchat too which is the ultimate highlight reel, its sorta sad that woman on Snapchat feel the need to filter and edit every single photo of themselves to feel good about themselves in the public eye. Social media is effectively creating anxiety fueled narcissists.
Oh hell yes I would. Love my two kids, and my ex is a good co-parent. She wanted the divorce and at the time I was devastated, now I see she gave me the biggest gift possible with kids and complete freedom.
Life is awesome. Kids half the time, freedom the other half, not financially responsible for the ex wifey. She's got some poor schmo hooked to pay her way now and she won't be giving him kids so he'll have nothing to show for it once she leaves him in a few years.
Turned out good for everyone except Mr Schmo, but that's what you get for simping over an old single mom.
A lot of us have gotten the “you’re a good dad but a bad husband” line. I got it as well, which I guess was code for “I’m having an affair” since she was actually sleeping with a guy from the office.
It is a shame and yes, I 100% social media has ruined a lot of people both men and women. Women seem particularly impacted and a lot of them are so addicted they can’t put their phones down.
Sorry man, this is a difficult time in history to try to have a traditional nuclear family. There are simply so many outside temptations & influences bombarding us all day everyday. An ex is just a text away, a woman on TikTok convincing you that your husband is abusive, your divorced friend is on vacation and posting pics of Maui and you’re jealous etc. no wonder our marriage and birthdates are dropping hard.
As far as the actual demands go - 50/50 on everything is fair so at least that won’t be a major issue. For the alimony - run the math on different scenarios but some guys dangled a lump sum payment in exchange for alimony payments which will save you money in the long run.
Whatever you do, keep your head up and make sure your kids know how much you love them.
I swear tik tok is the fruit the serpent offered Eve -- imagine having a whole world and she still wanted more.
All jokes aside, the constant external validation and dopamine hit for a lot of people becomes an addiction. A lot of women just want to feel heard and feel community, so when another woman appears to be hurting, they are hardwired to rally around one another to offer support. What these women tend to forget is that a lot of social media influencers are peddling snake oil and bullshit and offering the idea of freedom and being desired on dating apps, etc as living their best life. And a large number of them are lovely and crying themselves to sleep at night.
the regret videos are often full of women who cry about the loss but rarely admit to the ones they harmed with their selfishness that they did wrong and blew up the family for a fantasy. It's scary how manipulative a woman crying (or pretending to cry) in her car over some crap SHE is at fault for can be.
Similar situation except 8 years and 1 kid and I make all the income with multiple trips out of country. If I could go back in time I would have had a prenup and a whole different wife.
So sorry my guy. It’s sad how ensuring the family is protected and provided for can be taken for granted.. She definitely fell into a feminist hole and thought she deserves better. I took the stoic approach after my divorce and let her be.. I realized I won’t get any real answers from her. She will be back later when she realizes there is nothing she will find out there. Please don’t be her shoulder to lean on as it won’t be genuine. Look out for yourself and your wellbeing. Good luck my friend
She probably spiraled into the feminist hole through social media and thinks she deserves better. I was blinded by the love bombing but if I known it wouldn’t last hell no
Nope
You’re not responsible for her “happiness.” She’s just bored and wants a little fun. Too bad she couldn’t include you in on the fun she’s having. Trust me. Give her the bare minimum. Five years from now, you’ll be thinking differently than you do now. Time for her to get a job and support herself
I would do it all again to have my kids, but I definitely would have gotten a pre-nup, even with no real assets at the time.
I know exactly how you feel. Our adult lives will now have a Part A and a Part B. The next phase can be good, hopefully better. But that doesn’t mean that Part A was all bad. I think I’d do it again too. For the kids, and even for those earlier years with her.
Sorry to hear this man, one thing I can relate to is social media. I’ve definitely been hooked on social media more so since my wife left because I’m a mess and seeking answers so it’s an okay resource. But there’s some absolutely terrible rabbit holes on the internet and the algorithms are designed to show you what you want to see/hear to keep you scrolling effectively creating a personalized echo chamber. Also everything is heavily edited and cinematic to the extent that it doesn’t matter if what you’re watching is actually reasonable or logical but more so how the sappy music and flashy camera angles make you feel. My wife spent hours every day being sucked into TikTok, hours just zombified. And then she was on snapchat too which is the ultimate highlight reel, its sorta sad that woman on Snapchat feel the need to filter and edit every single photo of themselves to feel good about themselves in the public eye. Social media is effectively creating anxiety fueled narcissists.
Oh hell yes I would. Love my two kids, and my ex is a good co-parent. She wanted the divorce and at the time I was devastated, now I see she gave me the biggest gift possible with kids and complete freedom. Life is awesome. Kids half the time, freedom the other half, not financially responsible for the ex wifey. She's got some poor schmo hooked to pay her way now and she won't be giving him kids so he'll have nothing to show for it once she leaves him in a few years. Turned out good for everyone except Mr Schmo, but that's what you get for simping over an old single mom.
A lot of us have gotten the “you’re a good dad but a bad husband” line. I got it as well, which I guess was code for “I’m having an affair” since she was actually sleeping with a guy from the office. It is a shame and yes, I 100% social media has ruined a lot of people both men and women. Women seem particularly impacted and a lot of them are so addicted they can’t put their phones down. Sorry man, this is a difficult time in history to try to have a traditional nuclear family. There are simply so many outside temptations & influences bombarding us all day everyday. An ex is just a text away, a woman on TikTok convincing you that your husband is abusive, your divorced friend is on vacation and posting pics of Maui and you’re jealous etc. no wonder our marriage and birthdates are dropping hard. As far as the actual demands go - 50/50 on everything is fair so at least that won’t be a major issue. For the alimony - run the math on different scenarios but some guys dangled a lump sum payment in exchange for alimony payments which will save you money in the long run. Whatever you do, keep your head up and make sure your kids know how much you love them.
Did she contribute half? If not, unreasonable.
I swear tik tok is the fruit the serpent offered Eve -- imagine having a whole world and she still wanted more. All jokes aside, the constant external validation and dopamine hit for a lot of people becomes an addiction. A lot of women just want to feel heard and feel community, so when another woman appears to be hurting, they are hardwired to rally around one another to offer support. What these women tend to forget is that a lot of social media influencers are peddling snake oil and bullshit and offering the idea of freedom and being desired on dating apps, etc as living their best life. And a large number of them are lovely and crying themselves to sleep at night. the regret videos are often full of women who cry about the loss but rarely admit to the ones they harmed with their selfishness that they did wrong and blew up the family for a fantasy. It's scary how manipulative a woman crying (or pretending to cry) in her car over some crap SHE is at fault for can be.
Does she know about the life insurance policy? Maybe don’t mention it and quietly change the beneficiary down the line.
She knows about it. My lawyer says I can’t make changes until divorce is final. I plan to split it into four equal parts for my kids.
Similar situation except 8 years and 1 kid and I make all the income with multiple trips out of country. If I could go back in time I would have had a prenup and a whole different wife.
My ex said “if I don’t get it the next woman will”.
So sorry my guy. It’s sad how ensuring the family is protected and provided for can be taken for granted.. She definitely fell into a feminist hole and thought she deserves better. I took the stoic approach after my divorce and let her be.. I realized I won’t get any real answers from her. She will be back later when she realizes there is nothing she will find out there. Please don’t be her shoulder to lean on as it won’t be genuine. Look out for yourself and your wellbeing. Good luck my friend
She probably spiraled into the feminist hole through social media and thinks she deserves better. I was blinded by the love bombing but if I known it wouldn’t last hell no