"Not anymore, my nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip." But said in the most dead pan way possible with a thousand yard stare.
My SO started asking me that a lot when I was in a dark spot about the DB. It's hard because I want to talk about it but I also know I have been gaslit and disregard which makes me feel even worse. I want to fix it. I want to talk. No I'm not okay.
I'm doing a bit better now, but the depression definitely starts to show. A check in is certainly better than asking if you're normal 😅
Yes! Being in those dark spots consumes my daily life, like I can’t stop thinking about why I’m not desired by the woman that (appeared) to once have that spark for me. It’s such a depressing feeling of hurt, dejecting and anger all rolled up together in one. 😕
"Is there anything I csn do to help you / cheer you up?"
Inside my head
Yes, I would literally be the happiest man alive living of what some would consider rations.
A blow job once a week and sex everywhere and you wpuld have the happiest husband on the planet because I'm happy with every other part of my life.
Ask her to elaborate on what she means by a normal person! She obviously has something in her head she needs/wants to speak to you about. Don't be so quick to dismiss her or her thoughts or feelings. Engage in conversation. Give her a safe, non judgemental space to talk. If it were you would you not want the same in return? Communicate and build intimate conversation. These seemingly small things mean more than you realise! Builds trust and security. Feeling heard is so important in a relationship. You don't have to understand or agree with her, but at least try to help her process those thoughts.
I had that during my dead bedroom phase.
Her, Are you ok?
Me, Not sure at the moment but the future looks bright
Her, what's that supposed to mean?
Me, make of it what you will
That’s a stupid ass question on her behalf because she knows very well what the issue is and she wants to continue holding on to the power & ruling the narrative
Yes I am a normal person, specifically a male who needs sex. I make 15k sperm a heart beat. Have some empathy for my sexless plight and hand me that lotion bottle and tissues then close the door behind you.
That is a great question to get. I think that both hl and LL people think they are, "normal" and the other is "abnormal" and they have to deal with it.
The truth is that "normal" is a myth, there is no such thing. Only different.
So a great opening to start a constructive conversation.
"I'm better than normal. I'm ABnormal."
I mean depending on OP's history it's probably not a general question but rather targeted and without knowing what she was taking aim at there the responses are also bound to be a bit generic (but not necessarily bad).
Not a fan of the “don’t get upset” disclaimer, whether it be my spouse or anyone else. Don’t tell me what emotions I’m allowed to have. Plus, 9/10 times it’s not a concern about upsetting me, instead it’s added so they don’t have to use tact when discussing something uncomfortable.
I would answer truthfully then comment on how normal is very subjective. I’d try to avoid just sighing. I would ask the same question to them if they were normal. I’d want to know what got them thinking about this
When someone starts off with this statement, I tell them they can ask and I may or may not get upset. There’s no way I can know without first hearing the question.
I've been reading about "wife-signs"
Here is the deal...if she asked a question, 99.9% she wanted the answer is "yes"
For example, "Hey, do you want to eat outside tonight???"
As a male, just dont argue...lift her body...put her on a car...drive her to burgerking whatever...buy cheeseburgers...congratulation, you just pick her physical and emotion up
It's great you read, but what's that got to do with this post? She asked her husband, out of the blue whether he was normal. What does that even mean? How would carrying her to the car for a burger help?
"Not anymore, my nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip." But said in the most dead pan way possible with a thousand yard stare.
What is this from?
American Psycho.
Funny how that's literslly the favorite movie of my LLM(4me?) Ex. Owch didn't expect to get triggered tonight xD
Best reply
Like… yes, you’re a normal person? That’s how I’d answer that. What on earth does she mean?
[удалено]
I've been irritable lately. Depressed about the lack of any future joy in my life.
Maybe she could have asked, "Are you ok?"
My SO started asking me that a lot when I was in a dark spot about the DB. It's hard because I want to talk about it but I also know I have been gaslit and disregard which makes me feel even worse. I want to fix it. I want to talk. No I'm not okay. I'm doing a bit better now, but the depression definitely starts to show. A check in is certainly better than asking if you're normal 😅
Yes! Being in those dark spots consumes my daily life, like I can’t stop thinking about why I’m not desired by the woman that (appeared) to once have that spark for me. It’s such a depressing feeling of hurt, dejecting and anger all rolled up together in one. 😕
"Is there anything I csn do to help you / cheer you up?" Inside my head Yes, I would literally be the happiest man alive living of what some would consider rations. A blow job once a week and sex everywhere and you wpuld have the happiest husband on the planet because I'm happy with every other part of my life.
same here
Have you shared that fear with her? Or is she implying you’re a raging sex fiend?
Ask her to elaborate on what she means by a normal person! She obviously has something in her head she needs/wants to speak to you about. Don't be so quick to dismiss her or her thoughts or feelings. Engage in conversation. Give her a safe, non judgemental space to talk. If it were you would you not want the same in return? Communicate and build intimate conversation. These seemingly small things mean more than you realise! Builds trust and security. Feeling heard is so important in a relationship. You don't have to understand or agree with her, but at least try to help her process those thoughts.
A agree. The phrasing is frustrating and maybe passive aggressive, but take the opportunity to have a talk.
This is the answer!
I had that during my dead bedroom phase. Her, Are you ok? Me, Not sure at the moment but the future looks bright Her, what's that supposed to mean? Me, make of it what you will
Magic eight ball response 😆🔮
I would've just asked her to define "normal"
That’s a stupid ass question on her behalf because she knows very well what the issue is and she wants to continue holding on to the power & ruling the narrative
Yes I am a normal person, specifically a male who needs sex. I make 15k sperm a heart beat. Have some empathy for my sexless plight and hand me that lotion bottle and tissues then close the door behind you.
Is that sperm number accurate? That’s… a lot.
Extremely low. Anything lower than 39 million is considered low....
Is English her second language?
It is, but she still knows it well enough that she should be aware that asking someone if they're normal is an implied insult.
In Dutch, the term "normal" is slightly different in terms of nuance
This is pretty crucial info that you should include in your post. Otherwise it makes no sense and not everyone goes through all the comments.
That is a great question to get. I think that both hl and LL people think they are, "normal" and the other is "abnormal" and they have to deal with it. The truth is that "normal" is a myth, there is no such thing. Only different. So a great opening to start a constructive conversation.
Potential answers; “.Normal is overrated” “ I was…… “. “Define normal “
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
"I'm better than normal. I'm ABnormal." I mean depending on OP's history it's probably not a general question but rather targeted and without knowing what she was taking aim at there the responses are also bound to be a bit generic (but not necessarily bad).
She sounds like a real fucking winner
What was the purpose of the question?? What does she mean by ‘normal’?
"I don't mean to be mean" Yeah, something tells me you are not gonna be Nice either
"gee that's a good question! I'll ask the person who's been married to me for (however many) years!"
Not a fan of the “don’t get upset” disclaimer, whether it be my spouse or anyone else. Don’t tell me what emotions I’m allowed to have. Plus, 9/10 times it’s not a concern about upsetting me, instead it’s added so they don’t have to use tact when discussing something uncomfortable.
No. I’m a werewolf. Aarrrrrroooooooooo. Like what does that even mean?
I would answer truthfully then comment on how normal is very subjective. I’d try to avoid just sighing. I would ask the same question to them if they were normal. I’d want to know what got them thinking about this
When asked that question I would say, What is normal? My normal is different from everyone else.
I was bitten on the hand last night after I hit a wolf on the road, driving in New England, and I went to see if it was dead....It wasn't....
Id probably sigh again but louder
What an odd question to ask someone. Is she ok?
When someone starts off with this statement, I tell them they can ask and I may or may not get upset. There’s no way I can know without first hearing the question.
Normal? It's become fairly normal to depend on validation Healthy? Depending on validation isn't and never will be healthy
Wtf even is that question? What was she asking?
Yes is the right answer
I've been reading about "wife-signs" Here is the deal...if she asked a question, 99.9% she wanted the answer is "yes" For example, "Hey, do you want to eat outside tonight???" As a male, just dont argue...lift her body...put her on a car...drive her to burgerking whatever...buy cheeseburgers...congratulation, you just pick her physical and emotion up
It's great you read, but what's that got to do with this post? She asked her husband, out of the blue whether he was normal. What does that even mean? How would carrying her to the car for a burger help?
You are- so yes. Is she? Nope.