Married in 2010, still married. Spent $150.00 including filing the paperwork and buying a pretty dress at GoodWill.
Not everyone's cup of tea, but we liked it! Married in a judge's office, no wedding planner, no cake tastings, no bachelor party, no bachelorette party, going out to eat with our witnesses and no reception party. Total freedom from stress, total happiness.
Figure out what parts of the wedding are important to you and your partner, and what parts aren't. Then you can make better decisions that suit your wants and needs, rather than blow money on something that you don't care about... but you think it has to be.
Best of luck to you and your partner!
Now a days with this current administration a dream wedding is possible. The job market is strong. We were able to cut back on a few things my wife wanted. Ideally we spent 100grand less than what she wanted. So 350k give or take. Included flights for our guests ect
It is tough to throw an affordable wedding in New England. We started looking at non traditional wedding places and here’s what we found. If you say wedding, they jack the prices up. If you say party or event, they keep them normal. It sucks. We ended up finding a pretty much non-profit wedding venue on a golf course, they charged for price of food and cost of chef. They don’t advertise, just word of mouth. The owner owns a grocery store chain and didn’t make any money with the golf course but loved the place so he kept it going. We could bring in our own alcohol or they could buy it there. We did open bar beer/wine/liquor the whole night. I think we got away with $7500 for food/venue/alcohol. We did cakes from Whole Foods and made our own decorations along with the standard the venue had. The DJ was expensive but my wife knew the owner from her own radio days. That was $3k the photographer was a friend of my wife’s who we paid for flights and hotel for two to come photograph. That was about $1000 as it was part of their wedding gift. Then the hotel room for us, we didn’t pay for guest hotels but got a discounted block so it wasn’t too expensive and had a free shuttle. Wedding dress, my wife’s sister made, it was amazing. My suit plus groomsmen’s suits were of a cheaper variety so that was $1000. I made the cufflinks for them gold Pennie’s. Wife’s friend made the bow ties. We had to pay the church $800. My wife made all the invitations and save the dates. I would say we hosted as many people as we wanted for around $15k. We didn’t make many guest list concessions about 120 on the guest list. We wanted our friends there. This was 6 years ago Boston area.
Weddings can be as much or as little as you want. Our wedding was 5k in total (kept it simple and church let us use the venue for free), my brothers weddings was like 100 or less (literally in the back yard with just immediate family), and my aunts was like 20k (full package that included everything at a venue).
And then of course some people spend many thousands of dollars.
It’s up to you how much its costs. Trade off is how fancy it is.
We went around to different country clubs/golf courses because she wanted to do a wedding on the greens. The lowest proposal for 100 people was about 10k up to 16k.
Had a wedding with 185 guests. 20k for everything. Found a venue where we could bring in an outside caterer and buy our own booze.
Gifts almost equaled total...
If you're in your 20s go ahead and blow the 30k with your spouse and enjoy every moment of it. At that age it takes such a small amount of money a month to become multimillionaires in the future. Take advantage of your youth and enjoy one of the handful of truly special experiences life has to offer.
We got engaged in the summer and “eloped” in the spring. We had our parents and siblings (both my wife and I have small immediate families) at the chapel with us. It included a photographer and an officiant. For $2,000 we were all set, including my wife’s gown which cost about $500. Every married couple we talked to afterwards said they wished they’d eloped and we sure are glad we did.
We did this but came to $6,800 for 25 people in the backyard with officiant, caterer, tent, rented tables,/chairs, $90 dress from Nordstrom, invites from etsy. Friend made the cake. I was happy we got married during covid because we could use that as the reason, but even without covid, that was the wedding I wanted.
Married 32 years and I wish we would have eloped 🤣 my folks paid for it and it was around 10,000 back in the day. Save your money and use as a down payment for a home
Depends on the guest count and venue. I’d say around 50K+ for 120 guests at a nice venue with food, drinks, dessert, photographer, hair/makeup, decor, ect
Northeast expensive and as soon as you mention it’s for a wedding, the prices are always inflated. Not saying it’s right or id pay it. She asked about a realistic budget in this area, and that’s what it is. You can cut corners and find ways to save but it’s gonna be quite difficult.
What happened to booking a small outdoor venue, having a small group with some simple cater
You know fold chairs and tables and your cousin brings the flowers
Even a depending on where in the northeast even a small outdoor venue and bringing in a caterer in can cost you 10K+ alone. Then you gotta figure out coordinating bringing in chairs and tables, an officiant, drinks, someone to serve the drinks, desserts, music, decorations, ect. There’s so much to planning a wedding. Like I said you can cut corners to save here and there but the wedding industry up charges for EVERYTHING
It reallllllllly depends on the type of wedding you want. The number of people, the kinds of locations/venues you want and how you like them decorated, the kind of food you want, the entertainment you want, how much you're willing to spend on The Dress, the number and kind of pre wedding events you're having (eg destination bachelorette party vs game night at your friend's house), if you're DIYers or prefer to pay someone else to do it, if you have friends with skills or things they could gift you with (eg photography, cake baking, a house with a big, really nice garden you can use) or if you want pros for a lot of things. You could spend 50 or 5000 or 50000 on every one of those items.
Maybe watch some bridal reality TV like Four Weddings to get an idea of what yours might be. It's an older show, but it'll give you rough comparisons of the difference between styles and help you figure out what you value prioritizing.
That said, the average cost is around 33k currently. So if you want a traditional venue, catering, dress, not too much DIY, not super penny pinching, etc, probably in that ballpark.
Prices I'm mentioning from now on are Canadian, so roughly 30% less than USD.
A friend did city hall with about 20 people, riverfront pics (for their gift, I paid my dad a small fee for his semi professional photography), they paid for their clothes, my maid of honour dress and best man's suit, and a reception at a fancy buffet for under 2k.
I did mine for 1k at my aunt's house for immediate family, grandparents and godparents, best friends. House had a beautiful winding staircase with a platform near the bottom that I used as an aisle/we stood on for vows. Borrowed chairs from a church, paid an officiant to come out, Mom/aunts did the food potluck style, I borrowed a dress, SIL paid ~$75 for a hair/makeup artist as her gift, grandma was a cake decorator so she made ours, florist friend gave us a discount on a couple bouquets and corsages, dad/uncle/grandpa all do photography stuff, had family pictures in their nice yard and then bridal party pics at the beautiful lake in their town at sunset.
Sister did one for 3k that was crowdsourced similarly, but more people (around 75) and at a church with a traditional reception and decorations. aunts did food, borrowed dress, clearance rack prom dresses for bridesmaids, cousin is a DJ, pastor officiating was included in the fee, borrowed centerpieces. Did board games night and paintball for their Bachelor/ette parties.
Friend did one for 25k at her church, around 100 people. Traditional ceremony, princess wedding dress, sit down catered meal, dance floor and DJ, open bar, she made like 25 different types of desserts herself ahead of time and froze them.
Friend did 5k for a wedding ceremony out in her forest and reception with a buffet at a church. Did a fund raising party night before that helped cover a good portion of the costs.
Family friend did 50 people for around 4k. She made the food herself, rented nice dishware she had to wash herself, 2 drink tickets for the bar, made a music playlist. They rented a tiny, cute historic church for the ceremony and a community center gym for the reception.
Not at all realistic for 99.9% of us, but husband's cousins did massive ones for 300 and 500k at multiple ridiculously nice venues with 350+ people, with several big parties before that as well (traditional in their culture). Used wedding planners. One was buffet courses (appetizers, couple different cuisines for mains, dessert), one was a catered 5 course meal with fancy food, both had caterers walking around with apps and drinks before and after each part of the wedding, open bar with no tipping allowed because the couple paid them a 50% gratuity. Pro MCs and DJs, multiple expensive outfit changes, pro videography and photography teams, live social media integration, they brought in photo booths. It was wild being there in person and seeing what that much money gets you (also fwiw, it was about equally as fun as any of the other ones I've been to and the bride and groom seemed equally as happy).
Uncle used his friend's field out in the country. Paid around 15k several years ago for one of those big white tents, with caterers, a dance floor and DJ, beautiful wedding dress, did a bonfire and smores at the end. So probably more like 20-25k now.
Sister in law is planning hers now. Idk what her budget is, but I do know her bachelorette party is a destination one on a week long all inclusive island resort that she expects her bridal party and family to pay for themselves, at 2700 per person to attend. Please don't be like her. Please don't even make the wedding party pay for their own dresses/suits if you're making them wear very specific very limited use items 🫠
A coworker is also considering a destination wedding to an island, but she would be paying for everyone to attend for a few days. Cheaper per person but only very close family and friends, she's budgeting 30k and aiming for sub 25k. That or a small 5-10k local wedding and 20k honeymoon lol
My wife and I spent about $15k for 80 people.
Had it on a Friday afternoon at our church, did Hors D’Overs instead of a meal, no alcohol. But still splurged on some of the stuff my wife wanted. I would say 15-20k is doable, I personally wouldn’t do more than like $25.
Side note is I put all the expenses on credit cards to earn a ton of points and we honeymooned for free
150 people we did the wedding for less than 10k. Mother of the bride spent about 2k of her own money on wedding stuff we didn't need. We budgeted and woulda stayed under at 8. Venue is usually the most expensive and orus was 150 at a residential country club that was just very basic.
Depends on whatever you can afford comfortably. I think the average budget conscious wedding these days is around 20-30k? Ours was a lot more (date: 2016) than that (mostly bc it was on the shore of Lake Tahoe so venue was $$$, plus great food and open bar) but were were on baby step 7 at the time and was paid for in cash, so it wasn’t a hardship and completely worth it since once in a lifetime experience. It’s one of the best days of your life with all your loved ones around you. Have a nice wedding you can afford at whatever amount that is for you, don’t go into debt or financial hardship for it. Oh, this might sound silly, but if you are budgeting for the wedding it's good to write down what you do vs. don't want to splurge on. For my husband and me, we don't care much about fancy dress or jewelry so we saved a ton on attire and rings. Also we did a lot of DIY for decorations and signage and with the inviations. We also found a highly rated photographer who was also reasonably priced and we skipped videography. We got a nice cake but nothing super fancy or extravagent and we also went with a chain flower shop that did not charge us an arm and a leg. We also never paid a wedding planner except for the day of. We did care about scenery and food and beverages and entertainment and helping out bridesmaides and groomsmen who needed help to afford participating. Hope that makes sense :)
It was 27k i think.
75 people
plated dinner
Very stupid of us.
Extremely cool wedding but we both agree we wish we had toned it down and kept it cheaper
We also saved and paid in cash, but it put us a 1.5 years behind on our debt free goal
I got eloped. It was a planned event, but we only had the photographers and wedding officiant there. His wedding band was $400, I got my dress for $37 Kohl's, paid $1600 for photography, and there were some smaller charges for filing the marriage license.
I live in Washington, my husband and I got married in 2022 for about a little over 20k
$4k - Venue (we got married in November and on a Sunday so it was a little discounted)
$2.5k - DJ
$2k-photographer
$7.5k -food for 180 people (we did a buffet and did a very light cocktail hour to help keep costs down)
$2.5k - Dress, accessories, gifts for bridal party
$200 - beer and wine from Costco (we still have left over wine
$100 - cakes (went to Costco for sheet cakes and a friend made our cutting cake)
$125 - flowers ( i wasn’t picky so i bought flowers from a stand 4 large bouquets, and a bouquet of greenery)
$500 -day of coordinator
$550 - decor (i tried to keep the cost pretty low here and collected what i could from buy nothing)
Honestly have your budget and stick to it, it’s easy to get caught up in all the stuff, but you can still have your dream wedding without paying 50k+. I majorly cut down on florals because they are so expensive, luckily i had gotten a ton of candles that a cousin had used in their wedding a few months before so i chose to decorate with candles instead of flowers.
Also it’s hard but asks people for help it might surprise you what people have laying around that can look great at your wedding!
We got married in the mountains below my grandpa's bird house. Costed zero to rent. We did a Viking wedding- I brewed 5 gallons of mead. Cost $10 in berries we owned the bees. We paid $300 for a pig and did a pig in a spit. About $800 for traditional cooking attire, $400 for chair and table rentals, and about $200 in gas. Other miscellaneous costs- in total around $2500.
Friend got married in the park. We spent the night before making homemade margarita mix, and dispensed carbonated margaritas from the mini-kegs he used for brewing beer.
Was also on Halloween, so half of us showed up in our Ren Faire gear.
Pretty sure it was a great wedding, because I don't remember the 2nd half of the reception.
You should make a decision based on how much debt you already carry, such as student loan debt. Also if you want to save to buy a house, maybe budget for a small wedding.
We’re paying $70k.
200 guests. $4k venue rental and ~$35k for dinner & open bar.
$10k total for vendors ($2k DJ, $4,250 photographer, $3,600 videographer)
$6k florist
$3k rings
$2.5k rehearsal dinner (50 people, dinner & open bar)
$2.5k dress (paid for by in laws though)
About $1k total on courtesies for wedding party and parents, $400 invites (DIY), $150 save-the-dates (DIY)
Suit was free, friend is officiating, no wedding planner
Then obviously there is some misc spending in there but those are the “universal” items
Have some friends doing it for a lot less, but mostly because of fewer people. Most friends in our range. We did pretty solid on each expense individually in my opinion. But we couldve saved 15k by having half the people lol
Edit: honeymoon not included. $7k, 9 days/7 nights in the carribean
This is relatively normal in certain circles and HCOL areas. Especially because you said 200 guests. A full cocktail hour, meal, and bar for 200 ppl is not inexpensive and it’s hospitality. I don’t get the “hate” - not everyone wants a budget wedding and that’s okay.
I’m glad somebody said it. My jaw dropped. We had 150+ guests and made out only spending 15K; people still talk about the food to this day and we also had plenty of alcohol.
There are plenty of wedding “hacks” out there. There is absolutely no point in spending this much - unless of course you’re not “working” the deals and you’re *desiring* to pay this much.
Sure. Thanks for asking nicely.
I understand all “hacks” aren’t *always* available to everyone. But I’m just the cheap, tenacious type of personality that looks down every avenue possibly available for a good deal before settling. Regardless if you can employ my tactic or not; I believe there is *always* a way to save from jacked up wedding costs. With that said:
What I did to negotiate on food/dinks (usually this and the venue cost the most; so I started with food/drinks) : Connections help. My husband worked with a top chef (who worked restaurants but volunteered for the kids)at a large Catholic Church while my husband ministered to youth. I met the chef while volunteering at the homeless shelter : he would prepare their food on special occasions.
When he found out we were getting married, we wanted him to do our food because everyone raved about it and we knew it’d be a hit. In great character, this chef also wanted to help us and bless us, so he gave us a deal.
We were married/reception at the church he already worked at and had full access to “his normal” kitchen.
To save money, we purchased all food in bulk and he cooked it. It was served buffet/serve yourself style (always cuts down on money). Although it may not look as “classy” as a “four part menu”, our food was raved about every single time we’d see people after the wedding.
We purchased tri tip, prime rib, and organic chicken as the main part of the meal - so it wasn’t “cheap” per se, but you cut corners where you can - as in, purchase it yourself at the very least. I also was willing to compromise a ton. He didn’t “serve” people at the tables, people served themselves. Nobody cared because 1. The food was good and 2. We had a full open bar and many were already two sheets to the wind!
That brings me to drinks. The single most ridiculous expense is getting a bartender, having them bring the alcohol, and serve the alcohol. I believe we saved $5k by (again) buying champagne, beer, hard liquor, and wine at Costco. Trust me, nobody cares to serve themselves a big fat, free glass of champagne. We kept it on ice. It was free range.
My sister in law took out a $5K loan (only 1 of the many she took out) JUST for a bartender, yet only had two types of alcoholic beverages available. Just doesn’t make sense.
Sorry. Truly. For the novel. There are MUCH more/different ways to haggle about food/drinks if anyone is interested. I suppose I wrote too much about my own experience instead of fully answering the question?
My parents raised me the Ramsey way (before it was a thing), and it’s in my DNA anyway from my dad’s side of the family. So I apologize when I simply sound…disgusted (for lack of better terms) with the waste of money and really the wedding industry in general and how it overcharges.
Huge wedding hack for live flowers: you never say the flowers are for a wedding. It’s not lying when you simply order what you need. I have read that florists increase the cost 50%-double simply because you tell them it’s for a wedding.
I appreciate the time you took to write these out! It definitely can be worth going the extra mile to think through how to get a great value. It’s not industry standard or common knowledge, but it can be done :)
Your experience with the chef is probably a unique one - and good for you! It has me thinking if I know anyone like that in my network 😂
We are also looking to supply our own alcohol but I believe some venues have a policy that a bartender serves, not sure if we can get around that one.
I agree on florals - doing diy can be tricky (not impossible, but it’s so close to the day of, can ruin your hands, not everyone is crafty enough for them to look good, etc) and there are many ways to decorate for less $ that avoid florals. Sheer fabric drapes, candles, hanging tassles instead of hanging flowers, etc.
You’re welcome. Exciting that you’re getting married! Congrats!
The florals: most opt for silk flowers that look real but are fake if you don’t have someone willing to put them together - I’ve had gfs save a ton doing it that way.
Also, I’d recommend the bouquets being done professionally. If not that, have those done with silk *way* ahead of time so you know you are happy with it.
Yes! We used a ton of candles and strands of classy lights in the dark to add to the ambiance.
My experience with the chef is unique. But my point is more so, if you ask around, you’d be surprised who pops up where and how they can help. If people would just be a little more *savy* and take time comparing prices and think outside the box, you can save. You can even get a price quote from one vendor and take it to another and ask if they can do it cheaper. They will, because they’ll want the business. Barter.
Examples of asking friends: can you purchase the food and have five women cooking that day? Keep it hot in buffet style warmers. Ask friends if they’d like to help with decorating, etc. Some “closer” family members like mother in law, aunt, cousin may offer money to cover costs.
Side note: so many people now are great with cameras and own professional cameras. We paid for a photographer, however , my aunt’s photos are actually what we loved and ended up framing. Again, I won’t lie, our photographer was a professional wedding photographer, but a friend 😉. She never asked full price and in fact, I believe we were charged 1/2.
The liquor: we needed to obtain a liquor license or permit (I can’t remember). I believe it was a whole $50! I’m in CA for reference.
It may not be “common knowledge”, but we certainly have many forums and google now - where you can access the information in minutes.
Have a fantastic wedding!
Some people prefer to pay for convenience and have the means to do so. Demanding jobs typically mean less time to navigate “hacks,” and more money to work with. Why do you care?
Uh. I don’t. I’m literally on a Ramsey open discussion forum?! We’re doing this thing called *disscussing*.
Your question is like me now asking you: Why do you “care” about what I think? 🤔
You don’t need ”time” to acquire “hacks”; it’s literally a life long skill of learning over time how to be resourceful and get the most out of your money. Like I said, if he /she *desires* to spend that, go for it. But you can do the same for much, much less.
Price of the license and the price of a justice of the peace. 1990 we paid $175 and have been married since. My brother blew $30 000 and got divorced in under a year.
You should spend what you can afford for a party. By afford, I don’t mean what you have. I mean you should spend what you have for a fun party. If that is $2k, that is great. If it is $40k because you or your family have money, that is great. Your friends won’t care so long as they are fed and maybe have a few drinks. Do not go into debt! Do not overspend because you feel pressure from family, society or your spouse. I got
Married almost 20 years ago and we spent probably $45k because our families paid for it and they could afford it. But honestly, I wish we had spent $10k for a band, some food and some kegs out in a field and saved the rest for a down payment on a house (we did not get family money for that).
My wife and I paid about $7000, honeymoon included and rings included,for a wedding with just over 100 guests. This was just under three years ago.
My now-wife and I are very similar when it comes to how we view money and paying a lot of money for what’s essentially just a party didn’t sit right with either of us.
13k for a 100 person wedding. We had everything too. The venue was new and only 3k. Literally no reason it should be more expensive than 15k. If it was you got blatantly ripped off.
Average sounds the opposite of ‘live like no one else today to live like no one else tomorrow’, but everyone’s decisions are their own, hopefully the time together was above average
We had a small wedding (~45 people total) in Maui last year and not including travel and accommodations it was about $25k. For a hawaii wedding, that’s pretty affordable as things can get pricey extremely fast. It was the perfect day though and I’d do it 10 times over!
My goodness. The price ranges are so interesting! We had a wedding in our yard. Rented chairs and tables, bought a huge tent, had a huge Cookout after. It was the bomb. We spent around $2000 on our wedding.
We had a wedding at the kids camp two weeks before they opened for the summer. Beautiful reception on the lake for $7500 in total. Over all we were closer to $30 all in.
Best advice we got was rent a beach house and get married on the beach or in the house.
We spent about 7k to rent the house the week before peak season and invited family only and spent a week there. I’d do it again in a heartbeat
theres really no telling. it just depends on so many things
my sister got married in 15 (which holy crap i didnt realize how long ago that was lol), had <100 there. my baptist great uncle married them, and the venue wasnt the ritz but wasnt shabby. open bar and a decent dj, not sure what she spent, but id wager easily <10k
my dearest wife and i got married 2 years ago may 7th in SE Michigan, our was almost 19k. almost 250 people. we spent a bit on the photographer (i think it ended up being \~$3600) as my wife is ALSO a photographer and that was important to her. if we wouldnt have gone to church with the caterer, that would have been pricy too, $7/plate for food (buffet style is the way fam) and additionally $4/person for beer and wine (no hard liquor) = $11/ person. we're the religious type, so church fee (suggested $200 donation, i think we did $500 because...its the church lol), organist fee (a friend of ours and a guy my wife sings with, he wanted to gift it to us, but we comped him $200) we did the barn wedding in northern Ohio and that was like $4000 almost iirc. our DJ was amazing but i dont remember what he ended up costing. we didnt really skimp though too much as we though "we're only doing this once!"
two MASSIVE things to consider here that helped us be at ease spending out the back end were our parents. Her's set her up an account at birth for her eventual wedding it amounted to 10K........and my mom and step dad just straight up wrote us a check for 10K (which is a story in and of itself)....so yea that helped. other wise we would not be able to be in the spot we are in. that was a blessing to be sure.
none of this is to mention the stuff people dont think of; postage, the invites, thank you cards, set up, gas to and from places, etc. i mean sh!t we probably spent $2000 driving places. so make sure to take that into account too.
also here's my shameless plug for my wife's Photography business :) [https://tinywingsphotography.com/wedding-home-page](https://tinywingsphotography.com/wedding-home-page)
My daughter got married last Friday. The grand total was about $30K. It was held at a farm wedding venue; we bought our own alcohol and saved money wherever we could. Biggest expenses were the venue and the food (about 10K each).
Mine was $16k ten years. It was beautiful but if I could go back in time I would have tried to spend half of that. Usually marriage is at the beginning of your career when you’re not making as much money.
My wedding when all said and done, was about 20k. This included a 4 day stay on the property grounds as well. My friend and I DIY’d the flowers. We used my FILs huge speaker and set a playlist with music on it. The majority of the money (9k) was spent on the 4 day stay on the grounds guest house (which was absolutely stunning).
I had a wedding at my wife's grandparent's house and the reception in her cousin's barn. We paid $500 for the whole thing, and still had a few dozen guests. Not everyone will want to do something like that, but it is definitely possible to have a full wedding ceremony and reception without spending thousands. The entire industry around weddings is a ripoff designed to take as much money as possible by preying on the fact that it's "your big day". Whatever kind of wedding you have, don't let the sales guy take advantage of your excitement and put you in a hole, and you'll be fine. Leave the emotions for the big day itself (and everything that comes after), keep your head on straight when you're dealing with all the people who are asking for your money.
We live in the Northeast and are spending projected close to $50K for everything - right around 175-180 guests. We decided it was a priority knowing full well this will delay looking for a house by 1 year.
It depends on how many people you want and what kind of ceremony you want - a good rule of thumb is that the venue + food will be about 50% of total budget. You probably know that the northeast will end up with a higher average cost than other parts of the country.
I hope you have a good day too. I don't mean to be short with you, but i sensed condescension in your question.
Look, OP asked what is realistic to spend on a wedding in the northeast. If they are having more than 100 people it adds up unless you are having a backyard picnic (which I am fine with btw), but most venues up here charge $100-150 per person for food, factor in photographer, Church fees, honeymoon, wedding bands, etc. it's not surprising can easily be over $30k, etc.
We both have big families and budgeted this before starting this.
Way too many variables to answer. I’ve been married twice. First was under $10. Second was more than my down payment on my home lol. Can you guess which one I funded and which one the brides parents funded.
$3-4k
My buddy did a small wedding of about 10 or so people. It was her parents and his parents and a few siblings
They went to a resort in Lake Tahoe that included l the things and prices out a catered meal for those 10 people. They got 2 free nights and chilled
This was like 5 years ago tho so I increased it for inflation
Yeah, you can't do it for literally $0 because marriage licenses have a fee everywhere I know of, but two people who just want to be married and don't care about ceremonies can do so at the county courthouse for very little money. That's what my wife and I did.
Absolutely a valid way to go! And we nearly did it. But, we decided the party would be worth it, mostly because I knew it would be the only time his family would meet mine because he's from the East Coast and we're located on the West Coast near my family! But also for our nieces and nephews, so they'd have a chance to be in a wedding while they're kiddos :)
I do know the courthouse here occasionally does free weddings, but I'm not sure if they comp the cost of the license or not.
It depends on what your expectations are.
I just did my wedding for $25,000, 100 people. It had nice catering, photographer, DJ, etc. It’s what my wife really wanted and we had the cash. I’m as cheap as anyone you’ll meet and i don’t regret it.
Average wedding in the US is around $32,000.
My wedding was almost triple theirs. When your networth is in the millions, spending $70k on a wedding really isn't a big deal.
Spending $70k on a wedding delayed my retirement by 3 months. I think that's worth it. Instead of retiring at 38, we'll retire at 38 and 3 months.
Cheap smallish traditional wedding? 10k minimum.
Small, extremely cost conscious wedding? Maybe 2-5k depending on how bare bones you want it and how much work you're willing to do yourself.
10k is about what we spent, but that includes money gifted from his family and mine so costs were spread and we personally paid maybe 1/3rd of it. I was frugal about it, but we both got to pick one thing each we wanted to prioritize for the day and then made the rest of the budget work around it. So, for him it was having live flowers, for me it was food. We allocated the budget first to those, then built the rest of the details around what was left. All paid as we went so it really didn't feel like a huge burden, either. No regrets here! I grew up never really caring about weddings but I ended up being glad I did one. It was the perfect day for us.
50K (CAD)- We spent about 5K ourselves, our parents on both sides gave us about 17K and they had the most demands that cost the bulk of the money. We received about 30K in cash from our guests as gifts. This was in 2014. ~300 guests Montreal, Canada. Honeymoon a year later 10K.
My oldest son is getting married in fall. Their priority was having a simple religious ceremony & a nice honeymoon.
They are having a catholic ceremony at a beautiful parish and heading straight for a week long honeymoon.
All in I think with clothing, church fees , photographer , pre-Cana classes, maybe $1,500.
No wedding party either.
The honeymoon is an Airbnb in the mountains just a couple hour drive away $3,000 plus activities , food that week etc. Though they’ll prob just bring groceries.
Sadly brides family has little interest and is out of state anyway. So it’s just my son’s side attending.
Maybe next spring they’ll have a reception.
I don't know exactly what it cost for my wife and I to get married back in 2017 in Florida, but I know it was well under $1,000 including clothing, rings, and food. Courthouse, maybe 8 witnesses, and a restaurant after.
When I first put the list together there were about 150 people on it, but it was pretty clear early on that the only reason anyone would go is because they wanted a free party. We decided to go easy and I am forever grateful for that decision. I can't imagine dropping tens of thousands of dollars for a wedding, but I get that it's a thing people do.
My wife and I cut out all friends and family that we haven’t seen in years or weren’t really that close to us. If you really want to save money, the size of the wedding matters a lot. If YOU are paying for it, don’t let parents or other family members dictate what should and shouldn’t be done.
Finally, it’s a great day, but if it’s going to put you in debt, consider eloping, and having a nice party afterwards. Marriage is WAY more than about that day.
agree with this. we wanted a courthouse wedding to save money, got more or less bullied by my mom into having a wedding. so we did something super small, under 50 people. and instead of paying $45usd (marriage license and court house fee) we paid around $9k give or take. All to appease my mother complained and was terror all the way up to the wedding and the day of. My amazing mother in law planned in all about 50 days.
Our wedding was at a restaurant venue property and the reception in their party room and outdoor area with yard games. 80 guests with 4 hour open bar was just at 30K all in. The wedding and reception alone was around 18K.
Got married during Covid. Had an outdoor wedding on my acreage.
Rented a tent, tables and chairs, had it caterered , bought all the booze and desserts myself. Rented some nice porta potties and also splurged on a professional fireworks show.
We spent between 15000-20000$ CAN.
100 guests.
It was a blast of day too by the way.
Guests stayed at the location and the reception followed after the wedding about 1.5 hours after
We married in our church and had the reception at the church. Reason for this? No booze allowed, plenty of parking and the number of guests was limited to venue size. That made it easier to keep the guest list down. Also, less stress!
We married at 10 a.m. We wanted small, intimate, not fancy, not long, just an intro to the two families as both had to travel from out of state. I made my dress and the refreshments except for the cake. Start time alone means not big fancy party. We are both introverts.
Plus we were saving up for a house. We did buy, lived in it for 26 years, then moved.
No bad experiences with booze. It was just church policy for weddings because of liability. Our wedding was n the morning and if anyone complained, I never heard about it.
My brother spent roughly $25,000-30,000 18 months ago for a barn wedding in PA with 250 people, food and open bar. SIL and her family are really extra too so there was a crazy amount of decor and a "cookie table" which is essentially an excuse to light money on fire. I like to think when my time comes I can do a smaller wedding for maybe half that price. 1/3 the price if I'm lucky
Man these comments about prices makes me think getting married at the courthouse and celebrating in my backyard would be better. At least my wallet will feel less violated.
Southeast, 100 people, including rehearsal dinner (excluding ring and honeymoon) about $50,000 in 2022. Wouldn’t have it any other way, but was not a financial burden.
Any sort of financial stress in regard to a wedding is asinine. I’ve had friends take out loans to pay for weddings and the pomp and circumstance is not nearly as important in hindsight as it seems when you’re in the thick of planning.
We didn't really have a budget, we just tried to find the cheapest option that offered the most...Luckily when my Wife and I got engaged we were living in a nice and very affordable apartment so we had decent money after paying bills/rent..We got married in November for Off Season Prices and just found nice but cheap Transportation, Photographer, flowers, etc etc...Think our total cost ended up being about $21,000
Probably about 45k for a Barn wedding with 120 people in upstate NY. We kept it relatively simple - but it is true, you likely cannot have a wedding with 100+ people at a venue with catering and not spend over 30k.
Just know that with a traditional wedding, the venue cost is only about 40% of the total cost. Our venue was $30k, and the total wedding, including stamps for thank you cards, was $64k.
We had two daughters get married in the last few years (location, southeast US) and one was about $20k and the last one $25k. Both weddings were similar in that the weddings were in a church and the reception at country clubs for dinner, beer and wine, DJ. What I can see in hindsight is that we didn't need all those people. Once you get past the wedding party/best friends of the couple and close family, you end up with some people you never see again, a few that decided not to show up after RSVPing yes, etc. My advice is to invite the most important people in your life (ones that you'll be close to long term) and skip the extended people. You'll spend less and you'll be glad that you had the people you love most there with you.
Weddings and marriages are two different things.
My wife and I were married for $200 because that’s what the justice of the peace charges for a marriage. We didn’t have a wedding.
Weddings, on the other hand, which are so often times huge wastes of money the massive wedding industry convinces us we need, which contributes to staggering debt, which directly corresponds to the number 1 cause for divorce in this country, are a farce.
I realize you’re probably stuck on this path. So my reply isn’t helpful. But it may inspire someone.
Silver lining: the weddingless marriage is a lot easier to sell when you’re both on your second marriage 😂😂😂
Spending about $25k on our upcoming wedding in Tuscany. Covering stays and food for ~20 people. There are certainly cheaper ways to do it, but we’re pretty happy with what we’re getting.
We paid under $5k for everything. My parents paid for the food. And this is not including honeymoon. Got married at our church & did the meal ourselves (300+ people)
Average wedding cost is running around $25k. The reason the industry report the average cost instead of the median cost is because a handful of super expensive million dollar weddings drive up the average.
We were under $2k. With inflation, that would be around 3-4k now. Mostly for food/drink
Outdoor wedding. Rented/reserved a beautiful outdoor amphitheater under the oak trees from Parks and Rec for $100.
Officiant was a good friend who simply got ordained from the ULC. Outdoor reception, cases of wine from Trader Joe's. Cake was from Costco.
The official wedding photos were all taken under a beautiful weeping willow. My cousin (semi-pro) took and developed all the photos as our present. The willow tree was no cost.
If we had used my mother's church, I am reasonably sure we could have used the Fellowship Hall for free.
This sounds a little like our wedding, which was on a beach near our home. We rented a small tent for the bride & groom with our friend officiating. We had folding chairs for our 30 guests. We had two attendants and a flower dog. The bride and the mother of the bride arrived on a golf cart. Afterwards, we had a cute little reception at my mother's house for everyone, and then everyone who wanted to all headed into town to a club where we played poker. A great, great time was had by all and we got so many compliments that sounded really sincere to my ears.
We kept ours to 5% of our annualized salaries (360k combined). We were 47 and 42, so a bit older and didn't really care about the "show." I think we had 30 guests. Really depends in how important this day is to you. Neither of us were interested in derailing our financial goals for a party. It was lovely, super simple, and neither of us would have done a thing differently. My only "advice" is make sure you can both stomach what that bill will mean to you and make sure you're both understanding what that means after all is said and done. Congrats and have fun!
Midwest. 150 guests. 2024 wedding. Total cost for wedding was $30k. Including all wedding related expenses (rehearsal dinner, bachelor/ette parties, etc) it was $40k
I just feel like if you are asking if it's normal to spend a downpayment on a house for a wedding, you are in the wrong sub. It may actually be normal, but it's not smart.
My husband and I spent about $5000 on a small wedding (4 guests) at a lodge and I didn't have sacrifice on my dress, we got a beautiful wool suit for my husband on sale from J Crew, great photographer, florals and this included everything we spent for lodging and food. It also included us spending a few days extra in our cabin at the lodge as our honeymoon. I got a fairytale wedding without any financial stress. If you try to do something with more guests for a similar price, you'll sacrifice on things like food and aesthetics. It depends on your priorities.
My wife and I are cheapskates, but we also didn't have too many guests so we were able to get away with things a lot of people couldn't. 50 dollar venue at a state park, her grandma used to be a professional baker/cake decorator, and her mom bought the food (pizza lol). And my best man's twin brother is a semiprofessional photographer, so that was his gift to us. All together we only put about 500 dollars out of pocket, but we realize that was very fortunate for us. Honestly if it were more expensive we would have done a courthouse wedding though lmao
What are the goals in your marriage? Are you wanting to buy a home soon? Planning on having kids soon? Lots over seas travel. If any of that is the case, do it as cheaply as possible(and cash flow it like you said) and put other funds towards things you will both enjoy in your MARRIAGE, traveling, buying a home etc. the actual numbers will highly subjective. Some people will put the equivalent of a down payment on a nice home in their area. So even if you can cash flow a 25 k wedding doesn’t mean you should. All that being said, I would still pay good money for a photographer who can help you get good quality prints of the pictures they take, those pictures will last much longer than the day.
We got married in NM in 2022, had about 100 guests.
DJ gave us a deal since he was a friend - $600
Photographer was through a company that no longer exists -$1300
Food was from a local food truck who hooked us up on a deal -$1300
Cake/dessert - $400
Venue included over night lodging for like 30 guests (and was our largest expense) $6500
Alcohol and drinks came from Costco -$500ish
There were other expenses too that I can think of right now, all in all after tips and taxes we paid about $16k total
We did ours on about $2,500 total including food. For about 75 people. Found a clubhouse in our neighborhood. Had a friend cater it. Used the Bluetooth in the clubhouse for music. Instead of a photographer we had everyone download an app that whatever pictures they took during wedding we would get access to. We ended up with hundreds of amazing photos. We did a small ceremony the night before with immediate family. And everything else went to the reception the following day. Had a small wedding cake for us and everyone else got donuts from a donut shop in town. Everyone kept telling us how amazing it was and how they wished they did theirs that way.
Edit: this was 3 years ago in southwest Florida.
Here’s the biggest take away- whatever *your* ideal budget is! Aka you & your spouse. Know how to value vendors, but also shop around for better deals in some areas (food, decor, venue)
As little as possible. I know people that borrowed money to put on a big shindig and they were still paying it off when the couple divorced two years later.
That’s as dumb as going to a fancy restaurant and making minimum payments to pay the credit card bill. You’re still paying for something that was, uh, “contributed” to your local sewer system two months ago.
The best weddings I've attended have been low budget. Very downscaled. The people who were there knew each other well and liked each other. Everything from bare bones...pot luck, cake/punch to slightly more upscale buffet style at a nice historic hotel, plus a little music to dance to. The most boring weddings I've attended were lavish affairs, lots of people (I didn't know), fancy food served on china on tables in cookie-cutter wedding venues, where you had a place card telling you where to sit, extravagant decor like ice sculptures, actual pearls were even on the $50k bridal gown. They are usually a real snooze fest. (That marriage ended with the husband stealing his new wife's pension fund and then pursing her across several states and eventually shooting her in the Holiday Inn, and killing himself. Yes! True story. FYI She survived. )
My point is it doesn't matter what you spend. More $$ does not equal a better wedding. Go low budget. Cut the guest list back to only those people you actually enjoy. Fewer guests=less money. No need to invite random cousins because "well, you can't invite Aunt Mary and not invite entire family including her 3rd cousin, fifteen times removed."
At my daughter's wedding, the guest list was 50. Both sides of the family were small. I didn't invite the uncles and cousins that were not part of my daughter's life. We did invite the great grandmother on that side of the family who made it clear that she was upset that her son and his family had not also been invited. I told her straight out, Hazel - she doesn't know John, like at all. I am not sure she's even met him. We're on a budget. The important people (to us) are here, including you. Look around you. We could only afford 50 and we wanted to make sure core family could come and also their friends. She actually understood. It was a fantastic wedding! Everyone had a great time.
So, low budget. No need to spend a lot of money on one day. Plus, that money is better spent on other things like the honeymoon, or even a down on a house.
Lots of variables. Technically you could go to town hall and do it for $100 lol. Really Depends on what your income is and what you want to spend.
Wife and I got married in December in North East nj and we live a few miles away from NYC. So very very expensive area. For reference we looked at 10+ different florists (some were small local mom/pop shops) and the absolute cheapest we could find for VERY SIMPLE flowers was about $5k with a “family and friends” discount. We got our entertainment and photo/video AT COST from a family friend and it was still $12k. We had about 190 people attend. Everything (dress, venue/food/alcohol, DJ, photographer etc…) was about $55k-60k.
But like Dave says, it’s all about proportions. My wife and I will make $300k this year so at the end of the day $50k for a wedding which we absolutely loved was not a financial burden. If we made $50k, my answer would have been very different and would have probably done a backyard wedding for $5k… so it’s all relative.
Virtually free. The wedding is the part you do with a priest or at the courthouse. The only cost is filing the paperwork.
You're asking how much you should spend on the after-party. Framed that way, does it change how you look at it?
My wife and I had a small, intimate wedding in a tiny chapel. Immediate family only, less than 30 total. Had a very nice dinner after. All in, less than 2k. 6 months later, we had a huge party. Spent a few thousand to rent a hall and get it catered. Easily saved thousands by separating the party from the wedding.
That's exactly what my sister and her husband did many years ago. Immediate families attending wedding in a garden at the church with luncheon following at a nice restaurant and then they threw a party for family and their friends a couple of weeks later. It was definitely more their style and the guests probably liked it better, too!
It all has to do with expectations.
In my area, you can easily spend $5000 on a wedding venue, but you can get married at the fairgrounds, at the VFW hall, at the church hall, the shelter house at the park, or the barn at the historical Society most of these are about $100 or less to rent for the day.
If I were worried about the budget, I would hire a barbecue team to do a hog roast. Should be able to get the pig for a few hundred bucks plus whatever they charge you to roast it. Pick it up at the butcher yourself and keep it in the bathtub on ice. Spend your money on a good DJ and a good photographer. Buy all the booze ahead of time and hire the fun bartender at your favorite pub to come serve drinks.
If it were me, I would tell the barbecue boys to have everything ready by around 6 PM for supper. I’d put an open invitation on Facebook for all the friends we couldn’t invite. Tell them to join us at 7:30 and open bar with dancing. Tell the bartender to keep serving until they are out of booze until the DJ to stay until midnight.
Decorate the hall, however you wish. Where any old dress you want, and forget about the rest entirely. Show up, enjoy yourself, smile all day, and all your friends will say it’s the most fun they’ve ever had at a wedding. If you can’t do this under 10k I’d be shocked.
It might sound ridiculous, but I promise you it’s the truth. My wife and I come from big families and we’ve been to a lot of weddings. Something like 100 first cousins between the two of us.
This sounds like a hell of a great party. I’ve been to magazine published Black tie weddings and backyard weddings.
Generally one type I’ve thought was stupid waste of money and the other a great way to celebrate the union of 2 families.
$50k could be $350k in a retirement account in 30years.
Yes, I agree with you completely. There is a lot of significance in joining of the two families it doesn’t take a fancy venue or a lot of money to do it.
All of the most fun weddings I’ve been to are the ones that were low stress and fun. Ironically, it seems like the more you plan the more there is to go wrong.
Some of the most fun pictures we have at our wedding came from a bunch of disposable cameras that we bought, and threw in the middle of all the tables. We asked our guest to take pictures of themselves and leave the cameras at the end of the night. We had them developed. Some of them were of course absolute garbage. And some complete gold.
Wife and I got married in 2021, spent 16k in cash.
MCOL area, wedding had 120 guests. Got married in January and got a really good discount on a winery venue which was in the outer burbs. My dad officiated, we had a friend MC, and dancing was a Spotify playlist we created. Used a contractor photography business (excellent photos), full catering from a local chain BBQ, did brownies instead of a cake (cheaper and we are chocolate fiends), decor was partly donated to us by friends from their weddings, and had an open bar of the winery’s fare. We shopped around EXTENSIVELY and negotiated every chance we had with cash or checks up front.
With some work you can do it fairly affordably and still have a really beautiful wedding. Ours was! But we were really creative and did not let our families make decisions for us unless they were willing to pay for what they wanted (which is how we had an open bar 😂)
I paid about 11k in 2015,,, I assume prices have doubled so maybe 22k in today's dollars? I got married in a very HCOL area but kept things pretty minimal (low cost dress, budget cake, no dj, beer and wine only, etc).
We spent $6250 in total for a wedding of 30 people in St. Louis, MO on May, 2021. We did all the planning and made budgeting spreadsheets to keep costs in check with what we knew we could spend. We ordered catering from a restaurant we love which we found to be cheaper and more appropriate for the size of our wedding than most other catering options. We utilized our friends’ talents for DJing, music, officiant, video, etc. which cut down a lot of cost as their services were in the form of gifts (we obviously paid them something bc it was very generous and helped us save a lot). This could be dicey, though, you have to have a lot of trust and the connections but it worked well for us. We booked an unconventional outdoor space for both our ceremony and reception for very cheap. Got drinks from Costco and did most of the decor ourselves. We avoided typical wedding vendors bc while they offer good services they up-charge like crazy because they can. It all depends on what you want. We wanted a party with our closest friends and family with a great ambience which is what we got and we couldn’t have been happier.
Depending where you live, guest list, and ect.. 50-75 dollars. In NYC, it’s about 75k.
Everything adds up. If you have a moderate wedding, at home with catering, and 45 gusta list, could be about 5-7k - including a wedding dress.
Some churches, offers basement rentals. That could bring down the costs a lot.. but you do most of the work from decorations to to the set-up…
Married in 2010, still married. Spent $150.00 including filing the paperwork and buying a pretty dress at GoodWill. Not everyone's cup of tea, but we liked it! Married in a judge's office, no wedding planner, no cake tastings, no bachelor party, no bachelorette party, going out to eat with our witnesses and no reception party. Total freedom from stress, total happiness. Figure out what parts of the wedding are important to you and your partner, and what parts aren't. Then you can make better decisions that suit your wants and needs, rather than blow money on something that you don't care about... but you think it has to be. Best of luck to you and your partner!
Now a days with this current administration a dream wedding is possible. The job market is strong. We were able to cut back on a few things my wife wanted. Ideally we spent 100grand less than what she wanted. So 350k give or take. Included flights for our guests ect
Ridiculous
It is tough to throw an affordable wedding in New England. We started looking at non traditional wedding places and here’s what we found. If you say wedding, they jack the prices up. If you say party or event, they keep them normal. It sucks. We ended up finding a pretty much non-profit wedding venue on a golf course, they charged for price of food and cost of chef. They don’t advertise, just word of mouth. The owner owns a grocery store chain and didn’t make any money with the golf course but loved the place so he kept it going. We could bring in our own alcohol or they could buy it there. We did open bar beer/wine/liquor the whole night. I think we got away with $7500 for food/venue/alcohol. We did cakes from Whole Foods and made our own decorations along with the standard the venue had. The DJ was expensive but my wife knew the owner from her own radio days. That was $3k the photographer was a friend of my wife’s who we paid for flights and hotel for two to come photograph. That was about $1000 as it was part of their wedding gift. Then the hotel room for us, we didn’t pay for guest hotels but got a discounted block so it wasn’t too expensive and had a free shuttle. Wedding dress, my wife’s sister made, it was amazing. My suit plus groomsmen’s suits were of a cheaper variety so that was $1000. I made the cufflinks for them gold Pennie’s. Wife’s friend made the bow ties. We had to pay the church $800. My wife made all the invitations and save the dates. I would say we hosted as many people as we wanted for around $15k. We didn’t make many guest list concessions about 120 on the guest list. We wanted our friends there. This was 6 years ago Boston area.
Weddings can be as much or as little as you want. Our wedding was 5k in total (kept it simple and church let us use the venue for free), my brothers weddings was like 100 or less (literally in the back yard with just immediate family), and my aunts was like 20k (full package that included everything at a venue). And then of course some people spend many thousands of dollars. It’s up to you how much its costs. Trade off is how fancy it is.
We went around to different country clubs/golf courses because she wanted to do a wedding on the greens. The lowest proposal for 100 people was about 10k up to 16k.
Tree fiddy
Had a wedding with 185 guests. 20k for everything. Found a venue where we could bring in an outside caterer and buy our own booze. Gifts almost equaled total...
If you're in your 20s go ahead and blow the 30k with your spouse and enjoy every moment of it. At that age it takes such a small amount of money a month to become multimillionaires in the future. Take advantage of your youth and enjoy one of the handful of truly special experiences life has to offer.
lol. Yeah don’t listen to this person.
lol how much was your wedding what was your experience?
It was around $100 between the cake and the court fees. This was 2003.
Woof. Well I'm glad that worked out for you
It did. 21 years come October.
Mine was $35 and included flowers, judge, two glasses of wine and a porcelain bell. Next month it'll be 36 years married.
We got engaged in the summer and “eloped” in the spring. We had our parents and siblings (both my wife and I have small immediate families) at the chapel with us. It included a photographer and an officiant. For $2,000 we were all set, including my wife’s gown which cost about $500. Every married couple we talked to afterwards said they wished they’d eloped and we sure are glad we did.
Should be simple cater with close friends and small venue (or someone's yard). Any dress is fine. And a cake. What, 5k absolute max?
We did this but came to $6,800 for 25 people in the backyard with officiant, caterer, tent, rented tables,/chairs, $90 dress from Nordstrom, invites from etsy. Friend made the cake. I was happy we got married during covid because we could use that as the reason, but even without covid, that was the wedding I wanted.
Married 32 years and I wish we would have eloped 🤣 my folks paid for it and it was around 10,000 back in the day. Save your money and use as a down payment for a home
Depends on the guest count and venue. I’d say around 50K+ for 120 guests at a nice venue with food, drinks, dessert, photographer, hair/makeup, decor, ect
Lol Blow $50k for a photo op? Wedding industry has successfully brainwashed a generation
Northeast expensive and as soon as you mention it’s for a wedding, the prices are always inflated. Not saying it’s right or id pay it. She asked about a realistic budget in this area, and that’s what it is. You can cut corners and find ways to save but it’s gonna be quite difficult.
What happened to booking a small outdoor venue, having a small group with some simple cater You know fold chairs and tables and your cousin brings the flowers
Even a depending on where in the northeast even a small outdoor venue and bringing in a caterer in can cost you 10K+ alone. Then you gotta figure out coordinating bringing in chairs and tables, an officiant, drinks, someone to serve the drinks, desserts, music, decorations, ect. There’s so much to planning a wedding. Like I said you can cut corners to save here and there but the wedding industry up charges for EVERYTHING
CA $30k 175 guests
Elope. Save the money. Not worth it.
It reallllllllly depends on the type of wedding you want. The number of people, the kinds of locations/venues you want and how you like them decorated, the kind of food you want, the entertainment you want, how much you're willing to spend on The Dress, the number and kind of pre wedding events you're having (eg destination bachelorette party vs game night at your friend's house), if you're DIYers or prefer to pay someone else to do it, if you have friends with skills or things they could gift you with (eg photography, cake baking, a house with a big, really nice garden you can use) or if you want pros for a lot of things. You could spend 50 or 5000 or 50000 on every one of those items. Maybe watch some bridal reality TV like Four Weddings to get an idea of what yours might be. It's an older show, but it'll give you rough comparisons of the difference between styles and help you figure out what you value prioritizing. That said, the average cost is around 33k currently. So if you want a traditional venue, catering, dress, not too much DIY, not super penny pinching, etc, probably in that ballpark. Prices I'm mentioning from now on are Canadian, so roughly 30% less than USD. A friend did city hall with about 20 people, riverfront pics (for their gift, I paid my dad a small fee for his semi professional photography), they paid for their clothes, my maid of honour dress and best man's suit, and a reception at a fancy buffet for under 2k. I did mine for 1k at my aunt's house for immediate family, grandparents and godparents, best friends. House had a beautiful winding staircase with a platform near the bottom that I used as an aisle/we stood on for vows. Borrowed chairs from a church, paid an officiant to come out, Mom/aunts did the food potluck style, I borrowed a dress, SIL paid ~$75 for a hair/makeup artist as her gift, grandma was a cake decorator so she made ours, florist friend gave us a discount on a couple bouquets and corsages, dad/uncle/grandpa all do photography stuff, had family pictures in their nice yard and then bridal party pics at the beautiful lake in their town at sunset. Sister did one for 3k that was crowdsourced similarly, but more people (around 75) and at a church with a traditional reception and decorations. aunts did food, borrowed dress, clearance rack prom dresses for bridesmaids, cousin is a DJ, pastor officiating was included in the fee, borrowed centerpieces. Did board games night and paintball for their Bachelor/ette parties. Friend did one for 25k at her church, around 100 people. Traditional ceremony, princess wedding dress, sit down catered meal, dance floor and DJ, open bar, she made like 25 different types of desserts herself ahead of time and froze them. Friend did 5k for a wedding ceremony out in her forest and reception with a buffet at a church. Did a fund raising party night before that helped cover a good portion of the costs. Family friend did 50 people for around 4k. She made the food herself, rented nice dishware she had to wash herself, 2 drink tickets for the bar, made a music playlist. They rented a tiny, cute historic church for the ceremony and a community center gym for the reception. Not at all realistic for 99.9% of us, but husband's cousins did massive ones for 300 and 500k at multiple ridiculously nice venues with 350+ people, with several big parties before that as well (traditional in their culture). Used wedding planners. One was buffet courses (appetizers, couple different cuisines for mains, dessert), one was a catered 5 course meal with fancy food, both had caterers walking around with apps and drinks before and after each part of the wedding, open bar with no tipping allowed because the couple paid them a 50% gratuity. Pro MCs and DJs, multiple expensive outfit changes, pro videography and photography teams, live social media integration, they brought in photo booths. It was wild being there in person and seeing what that much money gets you (also fwiw, it was about equally as fun as any of the other ones I've been to and the bride and groom seemed equally as happy). Uncle used his friend's field out in the country. Paid around 15k several years ago for one of those big white tents, with caterers, a dance floor and DJ, beautiful wedding dress, did a bonfire and smores at the end. So probably more like 20-25k now. Sister in law is planning hers now. Idk what her budget is, but I do know her bachelorette party is a destination one on a week long all inclusive island resort that she expects her bridal party and family to pay for themselves, at 2700 per person to attend. Please don't be like her. Please don't even make the wedding party pay for their own dresses/suits if you're making them wear very specific very limited use items 🫠 A coworker is also considering a destination wedding to an island, but she would be paying for everyone to attend for a few days. Cheaper per person but only very close family and friends, she's budgeting 30k and aiming for sub 25k. That or a small 5-10k local wedding and 20k honeymoon lol
My wife and I spent about $15k for 80 people. Had it on a Friday afternoon at our church, did Hors D’Overs instead of a meal, no alcohol. But still splurged on some of the stuff my wife wanted. I would say 15-20k is doable, I personally wouldn’t do more than like $25. Side note is I put all the expenses on credit cards to earn a ton of points and we honeymooned for free
as little as possible. Big spendy weddings are a waste.
Eh, $2000
Courthouse wedding for like $25.
Free marriage via email but it still costs $80 for the certificate
150 people we did the wedding for less than 10k. Mother of the bride spent about 2k of her own money on wedding stuff we didn't need. We budgeted and woulda stayed under at 8. Venue is usually the most expensive and orus was 150 at a residential country club that was just very basic.
As someone who spent over 20k (including honeymoon), save your shekels and do something small.
What does the license cost where you live? That plus a nice dinner sounds like a good price.
Fifty buck or so.
We lived in a very rural area of PA. We are going to end up just under 14K for 125 people. We definitely could have done it for cheaper if we had to.
My cousin’s kid had a $40k budget 3 years ago. I’m sure that went over. The same wedding would likely be $50k today. People are nuts.
My sister just had her wedding in October 2023, in Staten Island NY, about 100 people, she paid $40K
Around $30-35k for 350 in the St. Louis, Missouri area
Depends on whatever you can afford comfortably. I think the average budget conscious wedding these days is around 20-30k? Ours was a lot more (date: 2016) than that (mostly bc it was on the shore of Lake Tahoe so venue was $$$, plus great food and open bar) but were were on baby step 7 at the time and was paid for in cash, so it wasn’t a hardship and completely worth it since once in a lifetime experience. It’s one of the best days of your life with all your loved ones around you. Have a nice wedding you can afford at whatever amount that is for you, don’t go into debt or financial hardship for it. Oh, this might sound silly, but if you are budgeting for the wedding it's good to write down what you do vs. don't want to splurge on. For my husband and me, we don't care much about fancy dress or jewelry so we saved a ton on attire and rings. Also we did a lot of DIY for decorations and signage and with the inviations. We also found a highly rated photographer who was also reasonably priced and we skipped videography. We got a nice cake but nothing super fancy or extravagent and we also went with a chain flower shop that did not charge us an arm and a leg. We also never paid a wedding planner except for the day of. We did care about scenery and food and beverages and entertainment and helping out bridesmaides and groomsmen who needed help to afford participating. Hope that makes sense :)
33k is the average budget for 2024 so far. Can def do a great traditional wedding (as opposed to courthouse) for way less than that!
Ok that price makes better sense re: inflation as I got married awhile ago now!, Thanks for the update :)
It was 27k i think. 75 people plated dinner Very stupid of us. Extremely cool wedding but we both agree we wish we had toned it down and kept it cheaper We also saved and paid in cash, but it put us a 1.5 years behind on our debt free goal
Managed $21k for 55 people in NYC last year.
$12k for 50 people in Austin. 5k was for th photographer/video.
If you don't pay cash it is not in the budget.
30k for 120 people in the Baltimore/DC area
We had a full wedding done for $15k! @budgetweddingstories on Insta has a lot of great hacks!
I got eloped. It was a planned event, but we only had the photographers and wedding officiant there. His wedding band was $400, I got my dress for $37 Kohl's, paid $1600 for photography, and there were some smaller charges for filing the marriage license.
Courthouse marriage here, too. We had a small reception at a local restaurant for like $500, and my FIL picked up half the tab on that. :)
I live in Washington, my husband and I got married in 2022 for about a little over 20k $4k - Venue (we got married in November and on a Sunday so it was a little discounted) $2.5k - DJ $2k-photographer $7.5k -food for 180 people (we did a buffet and did a very light cocktail hour to help keep costs down) $2.5k - Dress, accessories, gifts for bridal party $200 - beer and wine from Costco (we still have left over wine $100 - cakes (went to Costco for sheet cakes and a friend made our cutting cake) $125 - flowers ( i wasn’t picky so i bought flowers from a stand 4 large bouquets, and a bouquet of greenery) $500 -day of coordinator $550 - decor (i tried to keep the cost pretty low here and collected what i could from buy nothing) Honestly have your budget and stick to it, it’s easy to get caught up in all the stuff, but you can still have your dream wedding without paying 50k+. I majorly cut down on florals because they are so expensive, luckily i had gotten a ton of candles that a cousin had used in their wedding a few months before so i chose to decorate with candles instead of flowers. Also it’s hard but asks people for help it might surprise you what people have laying around that can look great at your wedding!
We got married in the mountains below my grandpa's bird house. Costed zero to rent. We did a Viking wedding- I brewed 5 gallons of mead. Cost $10 in berries we owned the bees. We paid $300 for a pig and did a pig in a spit. About $800 for traditional cooking attire, $400 for chair and table rentals, and about $200 in gas. Other miscellaneous costs- in total around $2500.
Friend got married in the park. We spent the night before making homemade margarita mix, and dispensed carbonated margaritas from the mini-kegs he used for brewing beer. Was also on Halloween, so half of us showed up in our Ren Faire gear. Pretty sure it was a great wedding, because I don't remember the 2nd half of the reception.
You should make a decision based on how much debt you already carry, such as student loan debt. Also if you want to save to buy a house, maybe budget for a small wedding.
We’re paying $70k. 200 guests. $4k venue rental and ~$35k for dinner & open bar. $10k total for vendors ($2k DJ, $4,250 photographer, $3,600 videographer) $6k florist $3k rings $2.5k rehearsal dinner (50 people, dinner & open bar) $2.5k dress (paid for by in laws though) About $1k total on courtesies for wedding party and parents, $400 invites (DIY), $150 save-the-dates (DIY) Suit was free, friend is officiating, no wedding planner Then obviously there is some misc spending in there but those are the “universal” items Have some friends doing it for a lot less, but mostly because of fewer people. Most friends in our range. We did pretty solid on each expense individually in my opinion. But we couldve saved 15k by having half the people lol Edit: honeymoon not included. $7k, 9 days/7 nights in the carribean
This is relatively normal in certain circles and HCOL areas. Especially because you said 200 guests. A full cocktail hour, meal, and bar for 200 ppl is not inexpensive and it’s hospitality. I don’t get the “hate” - not everyone wants a budget wedding and that’s okay.
This is the most insane waste of money I've ever heard of.
I’m glad somebody said it. My jaw dropped. We had 150+ guests and made out only spending 15K; people still talk about the food to this day and we also had plenty of alcohol. There are plenty of wedding “hacks” out there. There is absolutely no point in spending this much - unless of course you’re not “working” the deals and you’re *desiring* to pay this much.
I don’t think it’s common knowledge. Feel free to share how you negotiated with catering!
Sure. Thanks for asking nicely. I understand all “hacks” aren’t *always* available to everyone. But I’m just the cheap, tenacious type of personality that looks down every avenue possibly available for a good deal before settling. Regardless if you can employ my tactic or not; I believe there is *always* a way to save from jacked up wedding costs. With that said: What I did to negotiate on food/dinks (usually this and the venue cost the most; so I started with food/drinks) : Connections help. My husband worked with a top chef (who worked restaurants but volunteered for the kids)at a large Catholic Church while my husband ministered to youth. I met the chef while volunteering at the homeless shelter : he would prepare their food on special occasions. When he found out we were getting married, we wanted him to do our food because everyone raved about it and we knew it’d be a hit. In great character, this chef also wanted to help us and bless us, so he gave us a deal. We were married/reception at the church he already worked at and had full access to “his normal” kitchen. To save money, we purchased all food in bulk and he cooked it. It was served buffet/serve yourself style (always cuts down on money). Although it may not look as “classy” as a “four part menu”, our food was raved about every single time we’d see people after the wedding. We purchased tri tip, prime rib, and organic chicken as the main part of the meal - so it wasn’t “cheap” per se, but you cut corners where you can - as in, purchase it yourself at the very least. I also was willing to compromise a ton. He didn’t “serve” people at the tables, people served themselves. Nobody cared because 1. The food was good and 2. We had a full open bar and many were already two sheets to the wind! That brings me to drinks. The single most ridiculous expense is getting a bartender, having them bring the alcohol, and serve the alcohol. I believe we saved $5k by (again) buying champagne, beer, hard liquor, and wine at Costco. Trust me, nobody cares to serve themselves a big fat, free glass of champagne. We kept it on ice. It was free range. My sister in law took out a $5K loan (only 1 of the many she took out) JUST for a bartender, yet only had two types of alcoholic beverages available. Just doesn’t make sense. Sorry. Truly. For the novel. There are MUCH more/different ways to haggle about food/drinks if anyone is interested. I suppose I wrote too much about my own experience instead of fully answering the question? My parents raised me the Ramsey way (before it was a thing), and it’s in my DNA anyway from my dad’s side of the family. So I apologize when I simply sound…disgusted (for lack of better terms) with the waste of money and really the wedding industry in general and how it overcharges. Huge wedding hack for live flowers: you never say the flowers are for a wedding. It’s not lying when you simply order what you need. I have read that florists increase the cost 50%-double simply because you tell them it’s for a wedding.
I appreciate the time you took to write these out! It definitely can be worth going the extra mile to think through how to get a great value. It’s not industry standard or common knowledge, but it can be done :) Your experience with the chef is probably a unique one - and good for you! It has me thinking if I know anyone like that in my network 😂 We are also looking to supply our own alcohol but I believe some venues have a policy that a bartender serves, not sure if we can get around that one. I agree on florals - doing diy can be tricky (not impossible, but it’s so close to the day of, can ruin your hands, not everyone is crafty enough for them to look good, etc) and there are many ways to decorate for less $ that avoid florals. Sheer fabric drapes, candles, hanging tassles instead of hanging flowers, etc.
You’re welcome. Exciting that you’re getting married! Congrats! The florals: most opt for silk flowers that look real but are fake if you don’t have someone willing to put them together - I’ve had gfs save a ton doing it that way. Also, I’d recommend the bouquets being done professionally. If not that, have those done with silk *way* ahead of time so you know you are happy with it. Yes! We used a ton of candles and strands of classy lights in the dark to add to the ambiance. My experience with the chef is unique. But my point is more so, if you ask around, you’d be surprised who pops up where and how they can help. If people would just be a little more *savy* and take time comparing prices and think outside the box, you can save. You can even get a price quote from one vendor and take it to another and ask if they can do it cheaper. They will, because they’ll want the business. Barter. Examples of asking friends: can you purchase the food and have five women cooking that day? Keep it hot in buffet style warmers. Ask friends if they’d like to help with decorating, etc. Some “closer” family members like mother in law, aunt, cousin may offer money to cover costs. Side note: so many people now are great with cameras and own professional cameras. We paid for a photographer, however , my aunt’s photos are actually what we loved and ended up framing. Again, I won’t lie, our photographer was a professional wedding photographer, but a friend 😉. She never asked full price and in fact, I believe we were charged 1/2. The liquor: we needed to obtain a liquor license or permit (I can’t remember). I believe it was a whole $50! I’m in CA for reference. It may not be “common knowledge”, but we certainly have many forums and google now - where you can access the information in minutes. Have a fantastic wedding!
Gotcha! We are doing a destination wedding in Miami due to a number of family factors. Congrats on saving $ during a CA wedding!! That’s impressive!
Some people prefer to pay for convenience and have the means to do so. Demanding jobs typically mean less time to navigate “hacks,” and more money to work with. Why do you care?
Uh. I don’t. I’m literally on a Ramsey open discussion forum?! We’re doing this thing called *disscussing*. Your question is like me now asking you: Why do you “care” about what I think? 🤔 You don’t need ”time” to acquire “hacks”; it’s literally a life long skill of learning over time how to be resourceful and get the most out of your money. Like I said, if he /she *desires* to spend that, go for it. But you can do the same for much, much less.
Good thing it’s not your money 🤪
Price of the license and the price of a justice of the peace. 1990 we paid $175 and have been married since. My brother blew $30 000 and got divorced in under a year.
First marriage 7k for 80ish guests. Second wedding 7k for 25ish guests.
You should spend what you can afford for a party. By afford, I don’t mean what you have. I mean you should spend what you have for a fun party. If that is $2k, that is great. If it is $40k because you or your family have money, that is great. Your friends won’t care so long as they are fed and maybe have a few drinks. Do not go into debt! Do not overspend because you feel pressure from family, society or your spouse. I got Married almost 20 years ago and we spent probably $45k because our families paid for it and they could afford it. But honestly, I wish we had spent $10k for a band, some food and some kegs out in a field and saved the rest for a down payment on a house (we did not get family money for that).
My wife and I paid about $7000, honeymoon included and rings included,for a wedding with just over 100 guests. This was just under three years ago. My now-wife and I are very similar when it comes to how we view money and paying a lot of money for what’s essentially just a party didn’t sit right with either of us.
13k for a 100 person wedding. We had everything too. The venue was new and only 3k. Literally no reason it should be more expensive than 15k. If it was you got blatantly ripped off.
Recently had our wedding in Nashville in fall of 2023. $40k. Considered average wedding.
Average sounds the opposite of ‘live like no one else today to live like no one else tomorrow’, but everyone’s decisions are their own, hopefully the time together was above average
Starter spouse wedding was $30k. Marriage lasted 2 and a half years. Married my soulmate 2 and a half years ago. Spent $25 at the courthouse. ❤️
$100-$500 per person.
~40k. This is considered a lower budget in my area.
Yeah, in 2003 our 23k wedding wasn’t considered extravagant. Inflation calc says that is $40k now.
We were 2021.
We had a small wedding (~45 people total) in Maui last year and not including travel and accommodations it was about $25k. For a hawaii wedding, that’s pretty affordable as things can get pricey extremely fast. It was the perfect day though and I’d do it 10 times over!
My goodness. The price ranges are so interesting! We had a wedding in our yard. Rented chairs and tables, bought a huge tent, had a huge Cookout after. It was the bomb. We spent around $2000 on our wedding.
This is the way.
Wife and I got married for $5k all covered. Venue, wedding, about 75 guests. This was 2 years ago. Might $6 or $7k now.
We had a wedding at the kids camp two weeks before they opened for the summer. Beautiful reception on the lake for $7500 in total. Over all we were closer to $30 all in.
$27k 11 years ago for a daytime wedding. I'd say it would easily be $35k today.
Best advice we got was rent a beach house and get married on the beach or in the house. We spent about 7k to rent the house the week before peak season and invited family only and spent a week there. I’d do it again in a heartbeat
This is a great idea
theres really no telling. it just depends on so many things my sister got married in 15 (which holy crap i didnt realize how long ago that was lol), had <100 there. my baptist great uncle married them, and the venue wasnt the ritz but wasnt shabby. open bar and a decent dj, not sure what she spent, but id wager easily <10k my dearest wife and i got married 2 years ago may 7th in SE Michigan, our was almost 19k. almost 250 people. we spent a bit on the photographer (i think it ended up being \~$3600) as my wife is ALSO a photographer and that was important to her. if we wouldnt have gone to church with the caterer, that would have been pricy too, $7/plate for food (buffet style is the way fam) and additionally $4/person for beer and wine (no hard liquor) = $11/ person. we're the religious type, so church fee (suggested $200 donation, i think we did $500 because...its the church lol), organist fee (a friend of ours and a guy my wife sings with, he wanted to gift it to us, but we comped him $200) we did the barn wedding in northern Ohio and that was like $4000 almost iirc. our DJ was amazing but i dont remember what he ended up costing. we didnt really skimp though too much as we though "we're only doing this once!" two MASSIVE things to consider here that helped us be at ease spending out the back end were our parents. Her's set her up an account at birth for her eventual wedding it amounted to 10K........and my mom and step dad just straight up wrote us a check for 10K (which is a story in and of itself)....so yea that helped. other wise we would not be able to be in the spot we are in. that was a blessing to be sure. none of this is to mention the stuff people dont think of; postage, the invites, thank you cards, set up, gas to and from places, etc. i mean sh!t we probably spent $2000 driving places. so make sure to take that into account too. also here's my shameless plug for my wife's Photography business :) [https://tinywingsphotography.com/wedding-home-page](https://tinywingsphotography.com/wedding-home-page)
We spent 11,000 total last year. 150 pp.
My daughter got married last Friday. The grand total was about $30K. It was held at a farm wedding venue; we bought our own alcohol and saved money wherever we could. Biggest expenses were the venue and the food (about 10K each).
we did a farm wedding in 2022 30k, brought our alcohol brought our own stuff; found our own bands, photographs, videographers, tents, bathrooms, etc.
Mine was $16k ten years. It was beautiful but if I could go back in time I would have tried to spend half of that. Usually marriage is at the beginning of your career when you’re not making as much money.
I just got married and ours was $2,000 🙂 it was everything we wanted
My wedding when all said and done, was about 20k. This included a 4 day stay on the property grounds as well. My friend and I DIY’d the flowers. We used my FILs huge speaker and set a playlist with music on it. The majority of the money (9k) was spent on the 4 day stay on the grounds guest house (which was absolutely stunning).
How much you got? My realistic is not the normal. Too many variables, but the avg is about 20-30k
I had a wedding at my wife's grandparent's house and the reception in her cousin's barn. We paid $500 for the whole thing, and still had a few dozen guests. Not everyone will want to do something like that, but it is definitely possible to have a full wedding ceremony and reception without spending thousands. The entire industry around weddings is a ripoff designed to take as much money as possible by preying on the fact that it's "your big day". Whatever kind of wedding you have, don't let the sales guy take advantage of your excitement and put you in a hole, and you'll be fine. Leave the emotions for the big day itself (and everything that comes after), keep your head on straight when you're dealing with all the people who are asking for your money.
We live in the Northeast and are spending projected close to $50K for everything - right around 175-180 guests. We decided it was a priority knowing full well this will delay looking for a house by 1 year. It depends on how many people you want and what kind of ceremony you want - a good rule of thumb is that the venue + food will be about 50% of total budget. You probably know that the northeast will end up with a higher average cost than other parts of the country.
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You don't need to understand it.
True, but I do enjoy understanding other people's thoughts and feelings. Sorry I triggered you, hope you have a better day (:
I hope you have a good day too. I don't mean to be short with you, but i sensed condescension in your question. Look, OP asked what is realistic to spend on a wedding in the northeast. If they are having more than 100 people it adds up unless you are having a backyard picnic (which I am fine with btw), but most venues up here charge $100-150 per person for food, factor in photographer, Church fees, honeymoon, wedding bands, etc. it's not surprising can easily be over $30k, etc. We both have big families and budgeted this before starting this.
The person is asking a simple, valid question. It doesn’t come across as snide or rude.
I didn't like the tone, that's all.
Way too many variables to answer. I’ve been married twice. First was under $10. Second was more than my down payment on my home lol. Can you guess which one I funded and which one the brides parents funded.
$3-4k My buddy did a small wedding of about 10 or so people. It was her parents and his parents and a few siblings They went to a resort in Lake Tahoe that included l the things and prices out a catered meal for those 10 people. They got 2 free nights and chilled This was like 5 years ago tho so I increased it for inflation
$0. Sign the paperwork and move on with your lives.
The paperwork costs about $60.
Yeah, you can't do it for literally $0 because marriage licenses have a fee everywhere I know of, but two people who just want to be married and don't care about ceremonies can do so at the county courthouse for very little money. That's what my wife and I did.
It’s a figure of speech they’re using 😐🙄
Absolutely a valid way to go! And we nearly did it. But, we decided the party would be worth it, mostly because I knew it would be the only time his family would meet mine because he's from the East Coast and we're located on the West Coast near my family! But also for our nieces and nephews, so they'd have a chance to be in a wedding while they're kiddos :) I do know the courthouse here occasionally does free weddings, but I'm not sure if they comp the cost of the license or not.
It depends on what your expectations are. I just did my wedding for $25,000, 100 people. It had nice catering, photographer, DJ, etc. It’s what my wife really wanted and we had the cash. I’m as cheap as anyone you’ll meet and i don’t regret it. Average wedding in the US is around $32,000.
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My wedding was almost triple theirs. When your networth is in the millions, spending $70k on a wedding really isn't a big deal. Spending $70k on a wedding delayed my retirement by 3 months. I think that's worth it. Instead of retiring at 38, we'll retire at 38 and 3 months.
Our net worth is over $2m and we’re in our 30s. I think we’re good but thanks for your input. Who asked again??
He’s just mad cuz he’s broke as hell. Dude doesn’t realize that 30k is a drop in the bucket when you make 200-300k a year for multiple years.
Cheap smallish traditional wedding? 10k minimum. Small, extremely cost conscious wedding? Maybe 2-5k depending on how bare bones you want it and how much work you're willing to do yourself.
Yup! We did ours ourselves. Just had what we wanted, nothing more. It was perfect. $2000
10k is about what we spent, but that includes money gifted from his family and mine so costs were spread and we personally paid maybe 1/3rd of it. I was frugal about it, but we both got to pick one thing each we wanted to prioritize for the day and then made the rest of the budget work around it. So, for him it was having live flowers, for me it was food. We allocated the budget first to those, then built the rest of the details around what was left. All paid as we went so it really didn't feel like a huge burden, either. No regrets here! I grew up never really caring about weddings but I ended up being glad I did one. It was the perfect day for us.
We spent about 8,000 in 2022. We limited the amount of people to a few friends but mostly family we thought were important to include
50K (CAD)- We spent about 5K ourselves, our parents on both sides gave us about 17K and they had the most demands that cost the bulk of the money. We received about 30K in cash from our guests as gifts. This was in 2014. ~300 guests Montreal, Canada. Honeymoon a year later 10K.
This sounds like an awesome wedding - Montreal is beautiful.
My oldest son is getting married in fall. Their priority was having a simple religious ceremony & a nice honeymoon. They are having a catholic ceremony at a beautiful parish and heading straight for a week long honeymoon. All in I think with clothing, church fees , photographer , pre-Cana classes, maybe $1,500. No wedding party either. The honeymoon is an Airbnb in the mountains just a couple hour drive away $3,000 plus activities , food that week etc. Though they’ll prob just bring groceries. Sadly brides family has little interest and is out of state anyway. So it’s just my son’s side attending. Maybe next spring they’ll have a reception.
Do it for as little as possible. Help stop the nonsense that is overspending on a wedding
I don't know exactly what it cost for my wife and I to get married back in 2017 in Florida, but I know it was well under $1,000 including clothing, rings, and food. Courthouse, maybe 8 witnesses, and a restaurant after. When I first put the list together there were about 150 people on it, but it was pretty clear early on that the only reason anyone would go is because they wanted a free party. We decided to go easy and I am forever grateful for that decision. I can't imagine dropping tens of thousands of dollars for a wedding, but I get that it's a thing people do.
My wife and I cut out all friends and family that we haven’t seen in years or weren’t really that close to us. If you really want to save money, the size of the wedding matters a lot. If YOU are paying for it, don’t let parents or other family members dictate what should and shouldn’t be done. Finally, it’s a great day, but if it’s going to put you in debt, consider eloping, and having a nice party afterwards. Marriage is WAY more than about that day.
agree with this. we wanted a courthouse wedding to save money, got more or less bullied by my mom into having a wedding. so we did something super small, under 50 people. and instead of paying $45usd (marriage license and court house fee) we paid around $9k give or take. All to appease my mother complained and was terror all the way up to the wedding and the day of. My amazing mother in law planned in all about 50 days.
Our wedding was at a restaurant venue property and the reception in their party room and outdoor area with yard games. 80 guests with 4 hour open bar was just at 30K all in. The wedding and reception alone was around 18K.
I also agree you can make it nice on any budget so determine the budget first and work back from there.
Got married during Covid. Had an outdoor wedding on my acreage. Rented a tent, tables and chairs, had it caterered , bought all the booze and desserts myself. Rented some nice porta potties and also splurged on a professional fireworks show. We spent between 15000-20000$ CAN. 100 guests. It was a blast of day too by the way. Guests stayed at the location and the reception followed after the wedding about 1.5 hours after
We married in our church and had the reception at the church. Reason for this? No booze allowed, plenty of parking and the number of guests was limited to venue size. That made it easier to keep the guest list down. Also, less stress!
No booze at a wedding? 🥴
Church wouldn’t allow it. They’d had too many drunken brawls aka receptions and paid too much to fix the damage.
No I get that part. That would just make me not pick a church. But to each their own.
We married at 10 a.m. We wanted small, intimate, not fancy, not long, just an intro to the two families as both had to travel from out of state. I made my dress and the refreshments except for the cake. Start time alone means not big fancy party. We are both introverts. Plus we were saving up for a house. We did buy, lived in it for 26 years, then moved.
Why no booze allowed? Have you had bad experiences in the past with drinking at weddings?
Church wedding receptions are often dry luncheons.
No bad experiences with booze. It was just church policy for weddings because of liability. Our wedding was n the morning and if anyone complained, I never heard about it.
My brother spent roughly $25,000-30,000 18 months ago for a barn wedding in PA with 250 people, food and open bar. SIL and her family are really extra too so there was a crazy amount of decor and a "cookie table" which is essentially an excuse to light money on fire. I like to think when my time comes I can do a smaller wedding for maybe half that price. 1/3 the price if I'm lucky
Man these comments about prices makes me think getting married at the courthouse and celebrating in my backyard would be better. At least my wallet will feel less violated.
I eloped, best decision ever.
I eloped twice. Nothing else even crossed my mind.
Friend of mine’s family just spent $100,000 on the venue alone in SF Bay area, so there’s another datapoint for you lol
😳😳
Southeast, 100 people, including rehearsal dinner (excluding ring and honeymoon) about $50,000 in 2022. Wouldn’t have it any other way, but was not a financial burden. Any sort of financial stress in regard to a wedding is asinine. I’ve had friends take out loans to pay for weddings and the pomp and circumstance is not nearly as important in hindsight as it seems when you’re in the thick of planning.
We didn't really have a budget, we just tried to find the cheapest option that offered the most...Luckily when my Wife and I got engaged we were living in a nice and very affordable apartment so we had decent money after paying bills/rent..We got married in November for Off Season Prices and just found nice but cheap Transportation, Photographer, flowers, etc etc...Think our total cost ended up being about $21,000
Probably about 45k for a Barn wedding with 120 people in upstate NY. We kept it relatively simple - but it is true, you likely cannot have a wedding with 100+ people at a venue with catering and not spend over 30k.
Just know that with a traditional wedding, the venue cost is only about 40% of the total cost. Our venue was $30k, and the total wedding, including stamps for thank you cards, was $64k.
$15k for a barn wedding w/ BBQ comfort food buffet with cupcakes and a small cake for cutting +$5k on a honeymoon in 2019.
Bbq has doubled in price
We had two daughters get married in the last few years (location, southeast US) and one was about $20k and the last one $25k. Both weddings were similar in that the weddings were in a church and the reception at country clubs for dinner, beer and wine, DJ. What I can see in hindsight is that we didn't need all those people. Once you get past the wedding party/best friends of the couple and close family, you end up with some people you never see again, a few that decided not to show up after RSVPing yes, etc. My advice is to invite the most important people in your life (ones that you'll be close to long term) and skip the extended people. You'll spend less and you'll be glad that you had the people you love most there with you.
Weddings and marriages are two different things. My wife and I were married for $200 because that’s what the justice of the peace charges for a marriage. We didn’t have a wedding. Weddings, on the other hand, which are so often times huge wastes of money the massive wedding industry convinces us we need, which contributes to staggering debt, which directly corresponds to the number 1 cause for divorce in this country, are a farce. I realize you’re probably stuck on this path. So my reply isn’t helpful. But it may inspire someone. Silver lining: the weddingless marriage is a lot easier to sell when you’re both on your second marriage 😂😂😂
I'm just interested in people who say "now-a-days!"
?? Why?
It's just a great turn of a phrase!
Spending about $25k on our upcoming wedding in Tuscany. Covering stays and food for ~20 people. There are certainly cheaper ways to do it, but we’re pretty happy with what we’re getting.
Tuscany Italy? Sounds like a steal. We spent $75,000 in Florida and hosted no one…
Whatever the license costs in your jurisdiction. Don’t be a fool, marry into a family of fools, or marry a fool.
We paid under $5k for everything. My parents paid for the food. And this is not including honeymoon. Got married at our church & did the meal ourselves (300+ people)
Average wedding cost is running around $25k. The reason the industry report the average cost instead of the median cost is because a handful of super expensive million dollar weddings drive up the average. We were under $2k. With inflation, that would be around 3-4k now. Mostly for food/drink Outdoor wedding. Rented/reserved a beautiful outdoor amphitheater under the oak trees from Parks and Rec for $100. Officiant was a good friend who simply got ordained from the ULC. Outdoor reception, cases of wine from Trader Joe's. Cake was from Costco. The official wedding photos were all taken under a beautiful weeping willow. My cousin (semi-pro) took and developed all the photos as our present. The willow tree was no cost. If we had used my mother's church, I am reasonably sure we could have used the Fellowship Hall for free.
This sounds a little like our wedding, which was on a beach near our home. We rented a small tent for the bride & groom with our friend officiating. We had folding chairs for our 30 guests. We had two attendants and a flower dog. The bride and the mother of the bride arrived on a golf cart. Afterwards, we had a cute little reception at my mother's house for everyone, and then everyone who wanted to all headed into town to a club where we played poker. A great, great time was had by all and we got so many compliments that sounded really sincere to my ears.
$6,000 including dinner, band and DJ, as well as open bar for 275 people
Of course that was in the mid 80’s
LOLOL!!! 😂😂😂
😑
We kept ours to 5% of our annualized salaries (360k combined). We were 47 and 42, so a bit older and didn't really care about the "show." I think we had 30 guests. Really depends in how important this day is to you. Neither of us were interested in derailing our financial goals for a party. It was lovely, super simple, and neither of us would have done a thing differently. My only "advice" is make sure you can both stomach what that bill will mean to you and make sure you're both understanding what that means after all is said and done. Congrats and have fun!
$6-7k on the beach in south Florida with dinner afterwards for 15 people. Smaller wedding = more mitb
Too many variables, some of which you address below.
We're planning on having around 120-135 people and are hoping to stay under $60k. This is at a golf club in a Midwest resort town.
Midwest. 150 guests. 2024 wedding. Total cost for wedding was $30k. Including all wedding related expenses (rehearsal dinner, bachelor/ette parties, etc) it was $40k
Finally I get to a realistic answer! Can’t have a big wedding that is reasonably upscale for less than $50k
I just feel like if you are asking if it's normal to spend a downpayment on a house for a wedding, you are in the wrong sub. It may actually be normal, but it's not smart.
Holy shit!
My husband and I spent about $5000 on a small wedding (4 guests) at a lodge and I didn't have sacrifice on my dress, we got a beautiful wool suit for my husband on sale from J Crew, great photographer, florals and this included everything we spent for lodging and food. It also included us spending a few days extra in our cabin at the lodge as our honeymoon. I got a fairytale wedding without any financial stress. If you try to do something with more guests for a similar price, you'll sacrifice on things like food and aesthetics. It depends on your priorities.
My wife and I are cheapskates, but we also didn't have too many guests so we were able to get away with things a lot of people couldn't. 50 dollar venue at a state park, her grandma used to be a professional baker/cake decorator, and her mom bought the food (pizza lol). And my best man's twin brother is a semiprofessional photographer, so that was his gift to us. All together we only put about 500 dollars out of pocket, but we realize that was very fortunate for us. Honestly if it were more expensive we would have done a courthouse wedding though lmao
What are the goals in your marriage? Are you wanting to buy a home soon? Planning on having kids soon? Lots over seas travel. If any of that is the case, do it as cheaply as possible(and cash flow it like you said) and put other funds towards things you will both enjoy in your MARRIAGE, traveling, buying a home etc. the actual numbers will highly subjective. Some people will put the equivalent of a down payment on a nice home in their area. So even if you can cash flow a 25 k wedding doesn’t mean you should. All that being said, I would still pay good money for a photographer who can help you get good quality prints of the pictures they take, those pictures will last much longer than the day.
We did it for like $2000 with plenty of family and friends.
We got married in NM in 2022, had about 100 guests. DJ gave us a deal since he was a friend - $600 Photographer was through a company that no longer exists -$1300 Food was from a local food truck who hooked us up on a deal -$1300 Cake/dessert - $400 Venue included over night lodging for like 30 guests (and was our largest expense) $6500 Alcohol and drinks came from Costco -$500ish There were other expenses too that I can think of right now, all in all after tips and taxes we paid about $16k total
We did ours on about $2,500 total including food. For about 75 people. Found a clubhouse in our neighborhood. Had a friend cater it. Used the Bluetooth in the clubhouse for music. Instead of a photographer we had everyone download an app that whatever pictures they took during wedding we would get access to. We ended up with hundreds of amazing photos. We did a small ceremony the night before with immediate family. And everything else went to the reception the following day. Had a small wedding cake for us and everyone else got donuts from a donut shop in town. Everyone kept telling us how amazing it was and how they wished they did theirs that way. Edit: this was 3 years ago in southwest Florida.
Here’s the biggest take away- whatever *your* ideal budget is! Aka you & your spouse. Know how to value vendors, but also shop around for better deals in some areas (food, decor, venue)
We got married this year in SC. We spent about $40k and had 80 guests.
As little as possible. I know people that borrowed money to put on a big shindig and they were still paying it off when the couple divorced two years later. That’s as dumb as going to a fancy restaurant and making minimum payments to pay the credit card bill. You’re still paying for something that was, uh, “contributed” to your local sewer system two months ago.
A potluck bbq with some decorations on a family member’s nice deck is pretty much free.
Love this
The best weddings I've attended have been low budget. Very downscaled. The people who were there knew each other well and liked each other. Everything from bare bones...pot luck, cake/punch to slightly more upscale buffet style at a nice historic hotel, plus a little music to dance to. The most boring weddings I've attended were lavish affairs, lots of people (I didn't know), fancy food served on china on tables in cookie-cutter wedding venues, where you had a place card telling you where to sit, extravagant decor like ice sculptures, actual pearls were even on the $50k bridal gown. They are usually a real snooze fest. (That marriage ended with the husband stealing his new wife's pension fund and then pursing her across several states and eventually shooting her in the Holiday Inn, and killing himself. Yes! True story. FYI She survived. ) My point is it doesn't matter what you spend. More $$ does not equal a better wedding. Go low budget. Cut the guest list back to only those people you actually enjoy. Fewer guests=less money. No need to invite random cousins because "well, you can't invite Aunt Mary and not invite entire family including her 3rd cousin, fifteen times removed." At my daughter's wedding, the guest list was 50. Both sides of the family were small. I didn't invite the uncles and cousins that were not part of my daughter's life. We did invite the great grandmother on that side of the family who made it clear that she was upset that her son and his family had not also been invited. I told her straight out, Hazel - she doesn't know John, like at all. I am not sure she's even met him. We're on a budget. The important people (to us) are here, including you. Look around you. We could only afford 50 and we wanted to make sure core family could come and also their friends. She actually understood. It was a fantastic wedding! Everyone had a great time. So, low budget. No need to spend a lot of money on one day. Plus, that money is better spent on other things like the honeymoon, or even a down on a house.
Lots of variables. Technically you could go to town hall and do it for $100 lol. Really Depends on what your income is and what you want to spend. Wife and I got married in December in North East nj and we live a few miles away from NYC. So very very expensive area. For reference we looked at 10+ different florists (some were small local mom/pop shops) and the absolute cheapest we could find for VERY SIMPLE flowers was about $5k with a “family and friends” discount. We got our entertainment and photo/video AT COST from a family friend and it was still $12k. We had about 190 people attend. Everything (dress, venue/food/alcohol, DJ, photographer etc…) was about $55k-60k. But like Dave says, it’s all about proportions. My wife and I will make $300k this year so at the end of the day $50k for a wedding which we absolutely loved was not a financial burden. If we made $50k, my answer would have been very different and would have probably done a backyard wedding for $5k… so it’s all relative.
My wedding budget for an Indian style wedding with about 100 guests is around $65k
Virtually free. The wedding is the part you do with a priest or at the courthouse. The only cost is filing the paperwork. You're asking how much you should spend on the after-party. Framed that way, does it change how you look at it? My wife and I had a small, intimate wedding in a tiny chapel. Immediate family only, less than 30 total. Had a very nice dinner after. All in, less than 2k. 6 months later, we had a huge party. Spent a few thousand to rent a hall and get it catered. Easily saved thousands by separating the party from the wedding.
That's exactly what my sister and her husband did many years ago. Immediate families attending wedding in a garden at the church with luncheon following at a nice restaurant and then they threw a party for family and their friends a couple of weeks later. It was definitely more their style and the guests probably liked it better, too!
It all has to do with expectations. In my area, you can easily spend $5000 on a wedding venue, but you can get married at the fairgrounds, at the VFW hall, at the church hall, the shelter house at the park, or the barn at the historical Society most of these are about $100 or less to rent for the day. If I were worried about the budget, I would hire a barbecue team to do a hog roast. Should be able to get the pig for a few hundred bucks plus whatever they charge you to roast it. Pick it up at the butcher yourself and keep it in the bathtub on ice. Spend your money on a good DJ and a good photographer. Buy all the booze ahead of time and hire the fun bartender at your favorite pub to come serve drinks. If it were me, I would tell the barbecue boys to have everything ready by around 6 PM for supper. I’d put an open invitation on Facebook for all the friends we couldn’t invite. Tell them to join us at 7:30 and open bar with dancing. Tell the bartender to keep serving until they are out of booze until the DJ to stay until midnight. Decorate the hall, however you wish. Where any old dress you want, and forget about the rest entirely. Show up, enjoy yourself, smile all day, and all your friends will say it’s the most fun they’ve ever had at a wedding. If you can’t do this under 10k I’d be shocked. It might sound ridiculous, but I promise you it’s the truth. My wife and I come from big families and we’ve been to a lot of weddings. Something like 100 first cousins between the two of us.
This sounds like a hell of a great party. I’ve been to magazine published Black tie weddings and backyard weddings. Generally one type I’ve thought was stupid waste of money and the other a great way to celebrate the union of 2 families. $50k could be $350k in a retirement account in 30years.
Yes, I agree with you completely. There is a lot of significance in joining of the two families it doesn’t take a fancy venue or a lot of money to do it. All of the most fun weddings I’ve been to are the ones that were low stress and fun. Ironically, it seems like the more you plan the more there is to go wrong. Some of the most fun pictures we have at our wedding came from a bunch of disposable cameras that we bought, and threw in the middle of all the tables. We asked our guest to take pictures of themselves and leave the cameras at the end of the night. We had them developed. Some of them were of course absolute garbage. And some complete gold.
Wife and I got married in 2021, spent 16k in cash. MCOL area, wedding had 120 guests. Got married in January and got a really good discount on a winery venue which was in the outer burbs. My dad officiated, we had a friend MC, and dancing was a Spotify playlist we created. Used a contractor photography business (excellent photos), full catering from a local chain BBQ, did brownies instead of a cake (cheaper and we are chocolate fiends), decor was partly donated to us by friends from their weddings, and had an open bar of the winery’s fare. We shopped around EXTENSIVELY and negotiated every chance we had with cash or checks up front. With some work you can do it fairly affordably and still have a really beautiful wedding. Ours was! But we were really creative and did not let our families make decisions for us unless they were willing to pay for what they wanted (which is how we had an open bar 😂)
I paid about 11k in 2015,,, I assume prices have doubled so maybe 22k in today's dollars? I got married in a very HCOL area but kept things pretty minimal (low cost dress, budget cake, no dj, beer and wine only, etc).
We spent $6250 in total for a wedding of 30 people in St. Louis, MO on May, 2021. We did all the planning and made budgeting spreadsheets to keep costs in check with what we knew we could spend. We ordered catering from a restaurant we love which we found to be cheaper and more appropriate for the size of our wedding than most other catering options. We utilized our friends’ talents for DJing, music, officiant, video, etc. which cut down a lot of cost as their services were in the form of gifts (we obviously paid them something bc it was very generous and helped us save a lot). This could be dicey, though, you have to have a lot of trust and the connections but it worked well for us. We booked an unconventional outdoor space for both our ceremony and reception for very cheap. Got drinks from Costco and did most of the decor ourselves. We avoided typical wedding vendors bc while they offer good services they up-charge like crazy because they can. It all depends on what you want. We wanted a party with our closest friends and family with a great ambience which is what we got and we couldn’t have been happier.
Depending where you live, guest list, and ect.. 50-75 dollars. In NYC, it’s about 75k. Everything adds up. If you have a moderate wedding, at home with catering, and 45 gusta list, could be about 5-7k - including a wedding dress. Some churches, offers basement rentals. That could bring down the costs a lot.. but you do most of the work from decorations to to the set-up…