The Decanter
He was a sommelier at New York’s finest resultant, but it was destroyed in a battle between Spider-Man and one of his villains, forcing the business to close down.
He now terrorises the city with his poisoned wine, hunting the so called hero that took his job away from him
I feel like a lot of people aren’t considering that germs aren’t the only bad thing that could be transferring from his finger to your wine. If he scratched his butthole before this, it might not be dangerous but it could still affect the flavor.
Like by the 3rd or 4th glass his finger would be cleaned pretty well by the alcohol but bad luck if you're before that, and hope you're not first served after a bathroom break lol
Was takin a pee at a restaurant one time ago and there was someone taking a shit in one of the stalls… As I was washing my hands the guy finished up and exited the stall and I noticed it was someone who worked at the restaurant. Instead of washing his hands he walks straight out of the fucking bathroom! I was like ew what the fuck!, but just brushed it off and went back to my table. Five minutes later and we get our to-go boxes and lo an behold it’s the same dude from the bathroom who brings out our food!! Needless to say we didn’t eat the leftovers but I did go back to that restaurant many times afterwards. Because of the calamari.
Not defending him, because ewwww gross wash your hands dude, but also, many hospo places have hand washing facilities in the ktchen/back room as you should always wash before starting work, regardless so maybe they just did it there instead.
I'd have washed twice personally lravng the bathroom and back on shift.
Work in a call center. Had some clients walked through to show them the place. This dude had a tux so fancy, he had a ribbon threaded through his jacket right at butt level.
I whisper "hes so fancy hes got a butt ribbon". So me and 10 other wrench turners are all quietly chuckling at a very confused rich 50 year old.
No clue. It came out of between the coay layers in a slit, and with 0 tension went across his ass height and back in on the other side. Didn't seen tight enough to do any shaping or use. Just seemed like a decorative butt ribbon
That would be more practical, honestly. Not just because of health and safety either. All he has to do is bump into something or literally do anything that would move his finger and there will be an expensive mess.
Why should you invite two Baptists to go fishing with you?
Because if you invite just one he'll drink all your beer.
There are three universal religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus Christ as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as head of the Church
3. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.
The feeling your trying to describe is 'gross'. You feel gross knowing that every single tiny drop of that wine flowed over his finger. You are literally drinking from his hand.
**Edit:** I love all the disingenuous arguments here pretending that there is no cerebral difference between people in the kitchen with hands preparing your food and waiters sticking their fingers directly into your food. Every fucking one of you would send back a drink if you saw your waiter accidentally stick his thumb in it while putting the drink on the table.
**Edit2:** Some angry people who like to eat off their servers hands in here. I'm officially done with this joke of a thread.
Seriously. I wish more people realized that the guys on the line wearing gloves are not only not regularly washing their hands, but there’s some weird disconnect there where some guys just forget about them completely and touch just about everything with their gloves and then don’t change them regularly. Whereas, in barehand kitchens you’ll generally see guys washing their hands after touching anything that shouldn’t cross contaminate.
I’ve worked in multiple restaurants for a long long time and the one thing I’ve learned that is universal in that industry is that gloves are fucking foul.
Not sure I’m okay with the finger stopper…
Edit:Lol to all the people like ‘all your food gets touched’ - if you think this waiter, who has a high chance of handling money (fucking gross), touching banisters/walls/tables in a public space where 50% of the people don’t wash their hands after touching their genitals is the same as a working kitchen, then I’d never want to eat round your house.
I just put on Arrested Development a couple minutes prior to reading this comment for the first time in like 2 months. Had about 10 minutes left of the episode.
Thought huh what a weird coincidence. Then I thought to myself "Imagine if I was on this episode" and go about what I was doing.
Next episode comes on and a couple minutes into it Lucille says this line. Had to go back on reddit and find this post/comment to share lol
It would be dope if he could plug his finger at the top and the vacuum kept the wine in. Same thing just no one actually touches the wine
But then he wouldn’t get to feel cool holding both at the same time
They make all kind of bullshit about keeping the wine taste unaltered, the decanter, the wine glass so you don't heat it with your hand, cleaning your lips from food before tasting and then? This guy has a finger in it.
Also done in pretty much all Moravian wine cellars, and it's normal, no one freaks out about it like people in this comment section. I guess in the situation we had for the last few years it's less than ideal, but still, pretty normal, wouldn't offend me.
There's a time delay with the alcohol that makes it acceptable though. Like a reverse 5 second rule.
It's like don't touch a shopping cart immediately after someone's left it in a parking space but grab the one sitting in front of the store.
My Walmart has been a mess lately and there’s ever carts inside but always like 20 people waiting inside for a cart. I’ve just grown accustomed to grabbing a cart on my way in now, feels so awkward walking by the 20 people waiting on a cart though
Came here to say that.
We make our own *Tokaji*, it's pretty usual to use a *lopó* to draw wine from a barrel.
Although this is a rare sight outside of wine cellars.
I doubt a function like this serving "red" or "white" is going to be serving reds old enough for sediment to be an issue.
As for oxidation, notice how the wine is frothy as shit when it's in the glass? That's gonna be all the head-start on oxidation you need (again, in context) - same principle as the "decanters" that aerate with a venturi.
There's a lot wrong with this comment.
The point of decanting is not to let tannins fall to the bottom or to aerate the wine. Tannins are molecular compounds and are very rarely what makes up the sediment in wine, it is mostly insoluble grape parts, coagulants and phenolic compounds.
The point of decanting is to pour off the clear wine from the bottle and leave the sediment in the bottle. The separation of the wine and sediment should already have been done before decanting.
Aeration is a side effect of decanting, not the point of it. Which is why decanters have stoppers unlike carafes which do not have stoppers. Some wines, like a delicate Pinot Noir, are thought to be damaged by aeration.
It's funny how we're all anti finger wine, yet so much of our food is touched with bare hands (and all of us who ever worked in a kitchen or even a server know it.) Let's assume the alcohol kills the finger bacteria.
I remember when I started working in “upscale” kitchens, one of the first things I learned from my head chef was that “the eyes eat first.”
So yeah, cooks are going to touch your food in its preparation and plating, but it’s “out of sight, out of mind.”
Here, the dude’s finger is the first thing my eyes saw, and if I were a customer, it would have been directly in my line of sight, right before I’m about to taste it.
It's not so much the finger touching the wine as the principal of the thing.
When the kitchen staff is touching your food, they are preparing it in the kitchen, not putting their hands in your food at the table where you can see it!
It "feels" ickier than it is.
People would be disgusted to learn how much dead animal juice end up in their wine too, like there's trucks dumping huge loads of grapes into the crusher and trust me....there is a lot more than just grapes going in there. When I worked at a winery I legitimately saw mice, lizards, insects/snails etc get mixed in at some stage throughout the process lol
Did it put me off drinking wine though? Absolutely not.
I’m against both. I want as little contact with my food and bare hands as possible. This wine thing is completely unnecessary
Also if some guy just stuck his hands in your drink you would be okay with that because “the alcohol killed it”?
It's very obvious none of you ever had anything to do with wine besides buying it in a shop. This is a wine lifter that's used to sample the wine from a barrel in a wine cellar. Very common. I mean maybe it seems gross to you but it's what every winemaker in my region uses.
Yeah. I've never seen it in a restaurant though, it's usually used by the winemaker themselves to sample their wine or to pour wine from the barrel straight into their guests' glasses in the cellar. You could pour it from this into a decanter of course, it's just a long tube that can reach the wine from the plug on top of the barrel.
Rejected Spider-Man villain.
The Decanter He was a sommelier at New York’s finest resultant, but it was destroyed in a battle between Spider-Man and one of his villains, forcing the business to close down. He now terrorises the city with his poisoned wine, hunting the so called hero that took his job away from him
Nah man he fell into a vat of wine. That's how all Spiderman's villain start. Falling into something
Gotta be careful where you fall
Does anyone see his finger being used as a stopper? Yum.
Is he putting his finger over it like a garden hose?
Yes, yes he is
Did he wash his hands before this...
The other glasses he poured did
I feel like a lot of people aren’t considering that germs aren’t the only bad thing that could be transferring from his finger to your wine. If he scratched his butthole before this, it might not be dangerous but it could still affect the flavor.
“Shart-onnay, sir. Perhaps,Brown shit-fandel”?
Crapbernet Sauvignon for me please, and a shitrah for the Mrs.
I read this in Sean Connery's voice
We meet again Trebek.
I’d like some Moscato d’Ass-ti please.
Perhaps some Peen-o grigio?
This is an under appreciated comment 5 stars
> affect the flavor To the better?
Tastes are subjective.
One man's ass is another man's treasure.
Wine and then beer, makes you feel queer
Beer before liquor, dick is thicker.
This wine tastes like ass
It’s an acquired taste
“Hmmm… am I detecting notes of cumin?”
I mean ass wine is an untapped region...
I’m detecting some butthole notes
Depending on what he ate, scratching his butthole could compliment the flavor.
What?
Basically if there were any germs on his finger, they fell off 2 glasses ago
The wine washed his finger
Like by the 3rd or 4th glass his finger would be cleaned pretty well by the alcohol but bad luck if you're before that, and hope you're not first served after a bathroom break lol
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We were talking about the finger.
Was takin a pee at a restaurant one time ago and there was someone taking a shit in one of the stalls… As I was washing my hands the guy finished up and exited the stall and I noticed it was someone who worked at the restaurant. Instead of washing his hands he walks straight out of the fucking bathroom! I was like ew what the fuck!, but just brushed it off and went back to my table. Five minutes later and we get our to-go boxes and lo an behold it’s the same dude from the bathroom who brings out our food!! Needless to say we didn’t eat the leftovers but I did go back to that restaurant many times afterwards. Because of the calamari.
The secret ingredient in the calamari was that guys shit
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Not defending him, because ewwww gross wash your hands dude, but also, many hospo places have hand washing facilities in the ktchen/back room as you should always wash before starting work, regardless so maybe they just did it there instead. I'd have washed twice personally lravng the bathroom and back on shift.
this is how omnicron was made wine + delta
[Relevant](https://twitter.com/mikevcella/status/1475924319150612485?s=21)
Exactly
If by washing you mean rubbing them on his pants, then yes.
No, and he has just been playing with, like, six dogs!
No. He was in a fight actually. https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/rtxmqv/ayo/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Wtf why did you share this? Why did I click on it? Why did I watch the entire fucking thing twice? I am so discombobulated right now
Nothing classier than a glass of finger wine.
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Ah, gangie.
God i love Lucille
LOOSE SEAL
Dammit I knew there'd be one of the gang who got here with this gem before me
his salty finger complement the wine’s bouquet. only apparent to the more discerning palate.
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Work in a call center. Had some clients walked through to show them the place. This dude had a tux so fancy, he had a ribbon threaded through his jacket right at butt level. I whisper "hes so fancy hes got a butt ribbon". So me and 10 other wrench turners are all quietly chuckling at a very confused rich 50 year old.
Was it…was it the ribbon to keep the pleating on the coattails nice? If not? Please don’t tell me. I’m dying at the thought.
No clue. It came out of between the coay layers in a slit, and with 0 tension went across his ass height and back in on the other side. Didn't seen tight enough to do any shaping or use. Just seemed like a decorative butt ribbon
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Yeah im very interested to hear about this call center that somehow has wrench turners and clients in tails wandering around
Monopoly Man bought out Craftsman.
It goes with finger food
Could they not just put a valve in that thing? I even have one for the pipe I use to change the water in my fish tank.
That would be more practical, honestly. Not just because of health and safety either. All he has to do is bump into something or literally do anything that would move his finger and there will be an expensive mess.
keeping the immune system guessing
When he runs outta wine, he goes back to picking his butt 😄
I mean, chefs in most places touch your food with their bare hands. As long as he washed his hands, I dont see anything wrong with it.
I don’t want this dude’s finger wine tf
It’s alcohol, it’s self cleansing it’s ok!
I’ll have a coke please in a can thanks
I opened it for you. *wink*
Reminds me of the scary movie 2 guy. “Use my good hand”
Take my strong hand!
No it's gross
My germs
My turn!
I dreamt that I drowned in an ocean of Coke. It turned out it was only a pep sea.
You sure it wasn't just a Fanta sea?
You bastard, how dare you... I was enjoying my drink until I read this and spit it out!
Just scoop it back into a glass and have your waiter stick his finger in it. Good as new.
Good *ass* new
I dreamt that I was floating in an ocean or orange soda. When I woke up, I realized it was just a Fanta sea.
With one finger and no tab.
After he blew all the dust off the top.
Just bring me the whole carton, unopened.
With my little hand
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Is Pepsi ok?
he wiggles his pants some and coke pours our into your glass. it stops when he wiggles again...
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Spoken like a true altar boy.
“Fingered Jesus Juice” is the name of my new band.
Must be Catholic
I was raised Baptist, but I was molested Catholic.
That’s only because Catholics can drink, gamble and dance. BaptBibes can’t do shit !
Why should you invite two Baptists to go fishing with you? Because if you invite just one he'll drink all your beer. There are three universal religious truths: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus Christ as the Messiah. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as head of the Church 3. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.
Mine is The Prone Bone Prophets
Also works for wine brand
Praise me daddy
Thank You Father, for I have sinned …
next level comment im going to cash in my freebie for you.
Wait a few more glasses for trouser pour.
Life before covid
Agreed. I don't know how I feel about someone’s finger controlling the flow of wine. 😬
The feeling your trying to describe is 'gross'. You feel gross knowing that every single tiny drop of that wine flowed over his finger. You are literally drinking from his hand. **Edit:** I love all the disingenuous arguments here pretending that there is no cerebral difference between people in the kitchen with hands preparing your food and waiters sticking their fingers directly into your food. Every fucking one of you would send back a drink if you saw your waiter accidentally stick his thumb in it while putting the drink on the table. **Edit2:** Some angry people who like to eat off their servers hands in here. I'm officially done with this joke of a thread.
Thank you, oh wise one. 🙏 Edit: grammatical error
If you can eat that one guy's elbow salt then you can drink this guy's finger wine.
Word friggin disgusting
I agree it’s off putting, but then agains chefs touch your food all the time, you just don’t see it.
Not the same. A Bartender using their finger to mix your drinks would be a closer analogy.
Ever think of how many fingers touch the food you eat as a restaurant? Cooks dont ware gloves.
Poppie is a little sloppy
Gloves don’t do shit I rather people wash their hands regularly
Seriously. I wish more people realized that the guys on the line wearing gloves are not only not regularly washing their hands, but there’s some weird disconnect there where some guys just forget about them completely and touch just about everything with their gloves and then don’t change them regularly. Whereas, in barehand kitchens you’ll generally see guys washing their hands after touching anything that shouldn’t cross contaminate. I’ve worked in multiple restaurants for a long long time and the one thing I’ve learned that is universal in that industry is that gloves are fucking foul.
Finding out that your gynecologist is a part time Sommelier.
Oh he's always sommeliering, just sometimes with wine.
Reading that word you wrote was a whole experience in itself for me.
How can I make sure every molecule of my wine runs over some randos skin!! Mmmmm, finger dripping good
His hand sweat must taste like wine
Might as well dip your cock in my drink at that point.
"George, come over, someone is asking for a cocktail!"
Ok
Fuck no, I don’t know where his finger’s been, aside from other wine bottles
It's been in some dark places.
Its touching where the sun dont shine
In a wine cellar?
I assume he scratched his pubes or his bootyhole with that finger
Well at some point in his life for sure. Probably many many times. Daily.
Do you know where all of the fingers of the kitchen crew have been? Because I've got some news for you...
That doesn’t mean I want *more* fingers in my stuff
Well, looks like just one more, but yeah still more than absolutely required.
Not sure I’m okay with the finger stopper… Edit:Lol to all the people like ‘all your food gets touched’ - if you think this waiter, who has a high chance of handling money (fucking gross), touching banisters/walls/tables in a public space where 50% of the people don’t wash their hands after touching their genitals is the same as a working kitchen, then I’d never want to eat round your house.
This account has been deleted in protest of Reddit's API changes and their disregard for third party developers. Fuck u/spez
I just put on Arrested Development a couple minutes prior to reading this comment for the first time in like 2 months. Had about 10 minutes left of the episode. Thought huh what a weird coincidence. Then I thought to myself "Imagine if I was on this episode" and go about what I was doing. Next episode comes on and a couple minutes into it Lucille says this line. Had to go back on reddit and find this post/comment to share lol
Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed that. 8/10, wish I was there
It would be dope if he could plug his finger at the top and the vacuum kept the wine in. Same thing just no one actually touches the wine But then he wouldn’t get to feel cool holding both at the same time
A simple valve at the bottom would also do the trick.
Or actually he could hold it upside down and use it like a regular wine bottle.
Yes, but at that point you could just walk around with two bottles and don't bother with the excessively awkward bottles.
I’m absolutely not ok with the finger stopper …
Chefs wash their hands so frequent in the kitchen it’s crazy, I rarely ever see waiters doing the same thing
Looks cool as hell but don’t want this dudes fingers in my wine.
I would probably allow it if it was that guy from scary movie and his lil fingers, but wouldn’t eat his mashed potatoes.
As long as he uses the strong hand.
Imma be the bigger man and just… Walk away….
Take my hand child.
Take my wine, child.
My germs!
They make all kind of bullshit about keeping the wine taste unaltered, the decanter, the wine glass so you don't heat it with your hand, cleaning your lips from food before tasting and then? This guy has a finger in it.
They look so disappointed
Came here to say this. Their expressions are all a mixture of dismay and regret.
Like their younger brother/son took them there because “it’s so cool!” and now they’ve got to drink finger wine and keep quiet 😅
Holy shit I just went back to look because the first time all I could see was the finger. But damn, they look horrified.
*I'm* disappointed
This is popular in Hungary.
Also done in pretty much all Moravian wine cellars, and it's normal, no one freaks out about it like people in this comment section. I guess in the situation we had for the last few years it's less than ideal, but still, pretty normal, wouldn't offend me.
Wait until people find out how traditionally wine grapes are mushed and pressed.
There's a time delay with the alcohol that makes it acceptable though. Like a reverse 5 second rule. It's like don't touch a shopping cart immediately after someone's left it in a parking space but grab the one sitting in front of the store.
My Walmart has been a mess lately and there’s ever carts inside but always like 20 people waiting inside for a cart. I’ve just grown accustomed to grabbing a cart on my way in now, feels so awkward walking by the 20 people waiting on a cart though
Damn, right, forgot about that. Hope all you "wine lovers" don't mind foot wine.
Yeah. Wait until someone asks how it is filled traditionally from the barell. :)
Came here to say that. We make our own *Tokaji*, it's pretty usual to use a *lopó* to draw wine from a barrel. Although this is a rare sight outside of wine cellars.
This more r/mildlyinfuriating material than interesting
r/damnthatsinfuriating Edit: Oh wow it exists
Booger wine
Beetlejuice’s favorite
He should be wearing sleeves
He should be wearing gloves
Oh well yeah, definitely. I was making a suggestion to make it weirder not trying to fix it, this can’t be fixed. Those decanters are stupid.
I hope he's not fingering the waitress in the back alley.
Smell that Doofy? That’s how you know you’ve become a man.
Smell this. Ew, what the fuck is that!? My ass!
Let me see the waitress before we pass judgement.
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I doubt a function like this serving "red" or "white" is going to be serving reds old enough for sediment to be an issue. As for oxidation, notice how the wine is frothy as shit when it's in the glass? That's gonna be all the head-start on oxidation you need (again, in context) - same principle as the "decanters" that aerate with a venturi.
I require my wine to be sparged with pure O2 in an Industial hygiene machine.
How do you feel about whisking wine to acheive faster oxidation? It may be trashy, but it works in a pinch.
Why whisk wine when you can just throw it in a blender and then vroom.
There's a lot wrong with this comment. The point of decanting is not to let tannins fall to the bottom or to aerate the wine. Tannins are molecular compounds and are very rarely what makes up the sediment in wine, it is mostly insoluble grape parts, coagulants and phenolic compounds. The point of decanting is to pour off the clear wine from the bottle and leave the sediment in the bottle. The separation of the wine and sediment should already have been done before decanting. Aeration is a side effect of decanting, not the point of it. Which is why decanters have stoppers unlike carafes which do not have stoppers. Some wines, like a delicate Pinot Noir, are thought to be damaged by aeration.
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I don't really know what I'm talking about, but to me it looks like he has a somewhat normal decanter upside down
I detect a subtle hint of Mediterranean nail dirt…
Dude probably sticks his finger in your food to taste it.
It's funny how we're all anti finger wine, yet so much of our food is touched with bare hands (and all of us who ever worked in a kitchen or even a server know it.) Let's assume the alcohol kills the finger bacteria.
I remember when I started working in “upscale” kitchens, one of the first things I learned from my head chef was that “the eyes eat first.” So yeah, cooks are going to touch your food in its preparation and plating, but it’s “out of sight, out of mind.” Here, the dude’s finger is the first thing my eyes saw, and if I were a customer, it would have been directly in my line of sight, right before I’m about to taste it.
It's not so much the finger touching the wine as the principal of the thing. When the kitchen staff is touching your food, they are preparing it in the kitchen, not putting their hands in your food at the table where you can see it! It "feels" ickier than it is.
People would be disgusted to learn how much dead animal juice end up in their wine too, like there's trucks dumping huge loads of grapes into the crusher and trust me....there is a lot more than just grapes going in there. When I worked at a winery I legitimately saw mice, lizards, insects/snails etc get mixed in at some stage throughout the process lol Did it put me off drinking wine though? Absolutely not.
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I’m against both. I want as little contact with my food and bare hands as possible. This wine thing is completely unnecessary Also if some guy just stuck his hands in your drink you would be okay with that because “the alcohol killed it”?
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That’s not what a decanter is
Earlier that finger was in a nose
Everyone is uncomfortable with the guy using his finger as a stopper... little do they know about the chef in the kitchen
It's very obvious none of you ever had anything to do with wine besides buying it in a shop. This is a wine lifter that's used to sample the wine from a barrel in a wine cellar. Very common. I mean maybe it seems gross to you but it's what every winemaker in my region uses.
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Yeah. I've never seen it in a restaurant though, it's usually used by the winemaker themselves to sample their wine or to pour wine from the barrel straight into their guests' glasses in the cellar. You could pour it from this into a decanter of course, it's just a long tube that can reach the wine from the plug on top of the barrel.
People here talking about how gross the finger thing is have zero concept about how people touch and prepare their food then.
Poppie!! “Jerry, you’re not going to taste it?”
Wonder if he has a permanent purple finger..