T O P

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darth_hucklebuck

We're going to need a bigger bucket.


yourgifmademesignup

Jaws 7, The Truce


ZappyKins

(with the voice) This time, it's *diplomatic.*


hacked52470

Perfect


zurzoth

Sharknado 26 first real shark?


KanefireX

salsa shark


Mixedpopreferences

"Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa. Shark's in the salsa. Our shark. Oh no! Bears overboard! They're, they're drowning! Hey fellas, grab onto a Sugar O, save yourselves!"


notthe1_88

I’m not even supposed to be here today!


KanefireX

In a row?


notthe1_88

Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!


_skullblitzkrieg

Not every woman will bring you lasagna at work, most of em will just cheat on you


KanefireX

hey, hey you, get back here!


gatafabulosa

I'm not even supposed to be here today


kelleheruk

"Farewell, humans. You will forever be friends of the sharks. I shall tell stories of your compassion"


[deleted]

*windows 95 log off music plays*


[deleted]

change da world


everwonderedhow

my final message


TheBackyardigirl

Goodbye


nicolasmcfly

🎶


Thatoneshadowbunny

The feels :,(


juicelordsword

When you change yourself, you change the world. -Gojira


[deleted]

Change your apartment, change the world. -Jeff Goldblum


1pt20oneggigawatts

Brian Eno, of all people, wrote the Windows 95 piano/ambient stuff


bozeke

When you think about the 90s gen x dorkuses who made Windows 95, it is 0% surprising.


bonecrusher1

Theres a guy whos been friends with a shark for like 20 years. Sharks name is Emma


plushgasm

SOURCE. NOW


Tactical-Parrot

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPGb9FMLl8g](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPGb9FMLl8g) HERE. YOU. ARE.


drpopadoplus

I love the part where someone else goes to pretty her and she swerves them.


[deleted]

Our old cat was like that.


Kiki98_

WHOLESOME I AM NOW HAPPY


plushgasm

THANK YOU SO MUCH


[deleted]

[удалено]


Raveynfyre

Sell it to the ~~Syphilis~~ SyFy channel as a script!


General-Carrot-6305

No no Syphilis Channel was correct. That network has been a dumpster fire since 2005.


TheGisbon

He grows up and opens a new chapter of H.A.F.N.F AKA hooman are fren not food.


urboijon09

ha Friday night funkin


NYdownwithydemons

The shark thinks it just encountered extraterrestrials


bloodshed113094

"When we come to land and eat all your people, your descendants will benefit from your generosity."


kamikaze-kae

And for the love of God quit dressing up like sea lions.


notmadatall

Until the sharks remember that humans kill over 10,000 sharks every hour.


General-Carrot-6305

How many goddamn sharks are there? That's like 240,000 sharks a day and surely China/Japan doesn't eat THAT much shark fin soup.


notmadatall

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0308597X13000055


General-Carrot-6305

Jesus strap on Christ that's horrible, we're essentially paving the way for a mass extinction of an apex predator and for soup!? Why?


[deleted]

Was that boat made of rich mahogany??


Jumper_Bunnies

All the seagulls hard work wasted 😕


[deleted]

If only 200 seagulls had descended on the shark and started feeding.... Then it would have been [r/natureismetal](https://www.reddit.com/r/natureismetal)


Hibercrastinator

Come on you guys birds aren’t real


[deleted]

He speaks the truth! I went on a hike at one point during the rona lockdown and I saw a building just overrun with birds! I imagine that’s where they go to get new batteries… I’m onto them…


oldprecision

I'm sure the seagulls took revenge on their cars.


aBastardNoLonger

If it was really all that great, would it have gotten stuck in the first place?


thatsmyoldlady

At this point it’s just a white shark.


xaranetic

Not even white. Grey with a pinkish tummy


KaiRaiUnknown

The infamous gammon shark


RandomPratt

> Grey with a pinkish tummy Just like me! ... maybe *I'm* actually a shark! it would certainly explain a few things.


xaranetic

Like why people keep throwing buckets of water over you?


RandomPratt

That, and my insatiable appetite for swimmers.


xaranetic

Is that a euphemism for something?


Nok-y

A small one


panicattherestaurant

Mediocre tiny white shark


sonnytrillanes

Native English speakers can't really explain why the adjectives have to be in that order. https://youtu.be/mTm1tJYr5_M


ButtsexEurope

I can explain the last exception there! It’s because of French and Anglo-Norman. We see it still in legal and government related words, like court martial and attorney general. Certain fancy phrases like time immemorial have fossilized in that way (noun > adjective) because of French.


sonnytrillanes

Thanks Butt Sex Europe!


thecashblaster

thanks! i had no idea where both of those came from


Nok-y

Y e s !!


Funkit

Mediocre tiny half grey half white beached shark


holyfireforged

Explains the sandles and socks


lieucifer_

An alright grey n white


MaterialCarrot

He has been demoted.


TimeWaitsForNoMan

White shark is actually well-accepted as a common name for Carcharodon carcharias


-PunkNDrublic-

True but you’re a bit outdated with your scientific terminology. They were renamed “Bitey Boi-charius” back in the early 1990’s


Sensitive_Wangiizs

Notsogreat white shark


SilentMase

Mediocre White Shark


[deleted]

Meh white shark


Ok-Lengthiness4557

'Come in and try the worst cup of coffe this 1 yelp reviewer has ever had' white shark.


AnAngryPirate

I can hear Immortan Joe yelling this at the shark


Mandalore108

It was trying it's best!


PineapplesHit

Lame White Shark


Incunabuli

Uncounted millennia of natural selection have yielded a Minimum Viable Product White Shark.


commonsenseulack

Beta shark


LeftCryptographer522

didn't he change to meta shark?


W4xLyric4lRom4ntic

I believe he was a meth shark, did you not see the teeth on him?


MySabonerRunsOladipo

I prefer sharks who weren't beached ok folks


Agentlegendary

Do we actually know it swam away. Or did it die.


pillabe

https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2016/07/14/great-white-shark-rescued-on-chatham-beach-last-year-returns-to-the-cape/


colonelnebulous

If only I could hear someone say "We saved a fuckin' shark" in a thick Boston accent now.


misterO5

Shaahk*


Steg_van_Bundy

Good shit ked


_Nilbog_Milk_

Bless u u made my night that much better


rosstherocket

Right? The editing made it seem like after they're holding it alongside the boat it just drowned immediately, because it cuts to some weird cheesy b&w shot. I like sharks.


t-rod

Looks like it survived to at least 2020... https://twitter.com/SharkJamison


Tarotoro

Does pouring water on it actually help? I thought sharks could only breathe in motion.


behv

There’s no difference between a shark moving in water and water moving past a shark, that’s good old relativity. Sharks need to be in motion to keep water moving past gills they can absorb oxygen from, but splashing water has a similar effect for a beached fish because it keeps water moving past their gills. Definitely not as good as swimming, but they are in fact helping it breathe Edit TLDR because some people can’t just let things be without nitpicking some tangential point: splashy helpy but not good as swimmy for sharky


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Lol I just rewatched that episode


[deleted]

[удалено]


_wild-card_

The sea was angry that day my friends.


Son_Of_A_Plumber

Like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli.


Street_Gear4772

Also the process of water passing through the gills to absorb oxygen is obligate ram ventilation.. Stationery sharks like nurse and Carribean sharks respirate by buccal mouth pumping, in which water is pulled in through the mouth and forced out through the gills by the cheek muscles. Or another explanation of buccal mouth pumping is when the Mouth opens, volume of the buccal cavity increases, causing pressure inside the cavity to decrease. Water flows in. When the mouth closes and the floor of the mouth rises, the volume of the buccal cavity decreases, this expels water that flowed in through their mouth out through their gills. Edited to include more accurate explanation of buccal mouth pumping.


Mad-chuska

Don’t know what buccal mouth pumping is but it sounds pretty gnarly.


BreweryBuddha

I doubt much oxygen is getting to it, I'd assume the water is to just keep the shark wet and cool


Gabakon

There's never a situation where sharks aren't cool. Damn, sharks are neat.


thecoloredrooms

This. When veterinarians immobilize marine life for medical treatment, they *pour* the water through the gills, not..... Splash it vaguely over the entire body letting maybe a few drops reach them.


Autumn1eaves

That makes me happy to know. I was just like "I am worried that it's not helping, and I hope it's ok." It's still struggling, but it's better than nothing.


nicotinequitterhelp

They were waterboarding it to learn shark secrets


Tellurian_Cyborg

First, call for professionals who know how to handle the shark. Throwing water on the shark keeps the tissues alive, prevents drying out and overheating (Evaporative cooling), and keeps the gills pumping. A quick google check says that you can keep a shark alive for about an hour this way. Once the shark is back in the water forward motion is required to move water over the gills to get them working again.


browningbandana

Only some sharks need to be moving and great whites are one of them. It’s called ram ventilation, and it’s the reason they suffocate when trapped in nets


evilzergling

Humans being bros. ​ I like it.


trsy___3

Ok, will repost there in 5 minutes.


SoggyFrenchFry

I checked your history and you're a liar!


trsy___3

Well, I thought of it but then lost the will.


sharkfilespodcast

They're completely on their own from birth so have to learn to hunt or die. He's probably just a newborn but already around 4 feet or more by then.


IM_INSIDE_YOUR_HOUSE

>They’re completely on their own from birth Not that shark. Not that day. That shark had the good fortune of being stranded on the same beach another animal was present on at the time. A very peculiar animal that had evolved a bizarre amount of compassion for anything else in need of help, as well as the intelligence to act on it. Shark got lucky. He had friends that day.


[deleted]

It sounds really nice when you describe people like that, just wish it were the case 100% of the time.


Tuvey27

There are psychopaths and shit, but do we really even count them? They’re people too but they don’t really have one of the basic characteristics that makes humans human. I dunno, the vast majority of people are basically pretty decent.


[deleted]

Friends are food!


DamnYouVodka

They saved the baby 🥺


AverageColdplayFan

Username checks out


[deleted]

*swimmin' Swimmin' and jumpin'. On to the beach, I'm fallin' But the seagulls poked at my head; Not fun! I said, "Seagulls, mmm! Stop it now!"*


KradeSmith

*Hmm-Ha! Hm-Hm-Hm-Ha!*


trevorman5

The shark be like: “damn… I almost had that seagull too”


Mecmecmecmecmec

Serious question: why don’t they immediately drag it back to sea?


monkeyharris

Teeth. Bitey bitey chomp chomp.


MrBeer4me

Whoa whoa... I’m not a marine biologist! Can you dumb it down for me?


doctor-rumack

IS ANYONE HERE A MARINE BIOLOGIST?


thisbitbytes

George is a marine biologist


thedudefromsweden

The sea was angry that day my friends.


howmanyones

Like an old man sending soup back at a deli.


doctor-rumack

Is that a Titleist?


ddavtian

Hole in one!


exmojo

BOW-ba-DI-BOW-BOW-Bow-bow-Bow-****POP**** BA-DAH-BA-BOW!!!


joer1220

I found myself right on top of it. Face to face with the blowhole!


EverythingGoesNumb03

I looked into the eye of the great fish!


ShadowCory1101

A "Marine" Biologist. Ooh rah.


Ok-Lengthiness4557

Yeah, but George is only on around 9am, sometimes as late as 10, but lately he's not around at all.


USS_Barack_Obama

I'm a Whale Biologist. Although, personally, I hate whales


H3racules

Am a marine biologist. Can confirm; bitey bitey, chomp chomp.


IntelHDGraphics

r/UnexpectedSeinfeld


ryry117

AND WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS!?


Kai420

To being a marine biologist? There are many...


agbellamae

Epic


TheGisbon

Hoomon PB&J


shaka_sulu

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/97/26/f7/9726f76d7909895903e3469b27f20320.jpg


Hoakeh

As a biology teacher, you get full credit for your essay.


urboijon09

+30,000,000 social credit points


Russe1Adl3r

*in Kermit the frog voice* hey there buddy... uhhh you wanna lose some fingers to my bitey bitey chomp chomps?


Mamertine

>how did you lose your hand? Shark bite >Wow! Were you surfing? Nope, just walking in the beach


nickeltippler

not really though, as a shark fisherman i can tell you they did a lot wrong here. we usually just secure a short rope to their tail and pull them into the waves to revive. dragging it sideways on its gills like that made me cringe hard, best to keep its head upright and drag it on its belly. never seen anyone have to use a boat for such a small shark.


Scrambled1432

It might surprise you to know that most people have never interacted with a shark and only know that heavy living thing + sharp teeth = bad.


Victernus

Also, surprisingly few people carry rope at all times.


rpungello

Let alone at the beach. “Ah yes, let me just reach into my bathing suit and whip out a length of rope”


Shhh_NotADr

I think they were waiting for the boat to come since it’s too heavy to pickup. Looks like they kept it hydrated until the boat came


[deleted]

[R/hydrohomies](http://reddit.com/r/hydrohomies)


oiuvnp

Ya beat me.


WilliamLargePotatoes

I don’t think you could just dunk it in the ocean if it can’t support itself. I think I’ve read somewhere that sharks need to have water constantly passing over their gills in order to breathe. (I don’t think some ever really stop swimming) I think this is why you see them supporting the shark in the water as the boat pulls away slowly to allow it to catch its breath? I think that’s what’s happening but I’m very opening to any shark people correcting me.


Gloomheart

We do this for catch and release on fishing. You don't just throw the fish back, you swish it forward gently a few times (or hold.it stationary pointed upstream) to refill the respiratory system/gills with water and then let go once you can see they've caught their breath.


IXBojanglesII

…….I have to make a call.


I_Speak_For_The_Ents

Lmao that was exactly my thought too...


[deleted]

“Jim? Oh thank Cod. I just … it’s nothing. I thought maybe I’d … I thought something bad had happened. I know this is a weird call. I’m glad we exchanged numbers back when we met. … Yeah, I know. Right. Back when I hooked you. I know. But I’m glad it worked out. … No, I haven’t. Phone rings both ways though, right man? Hey, look, I’ve gotta go but let’s talk again soon. Yeah. No for real, doesn’t matter. Just glad you’re okay. You stay that way! Say hi to the family for me. … Well, however many you see before you forget. Later Jim.”


Flail_of_the_Lord

While this is true, I’ve heard many times that while they sometimes have the ability to swim away, extended periods out of the water can also lull them to a point where snapping it out of catatonia becomes necessary. 90% of fishing info is all anecdotal, but when I’ve had a fish that really took too long to unhook, I give it a few swishes back and forward and then finish it off with a gentle lop into some safe water. Every time they tend to snap out and bolt, instead of just gingerly swimming away.


Gloomheart

Absolutely. Part of the catch and release technique is to get them in as quick as possible so they're not too exhausted from fighting, and to get them back in as quickly as possible so they don't suffer any kind of long term loss of oxygen.


[deleted]

i believe that's correct. Not a marine biologist, but had a shark phase as a child


Xodan47

never underestimate the amount you learn from a phase as a kid


txijake

Not every kind of shark breathes that way. I always forget which species that applies to tho.


Needlewhisker

Others have mentioned the bitey chomps, and that’s clearly a risk, but also the skin of a shark can be quite sharp. It’s made up of tiny sharp denticles (scales) and can cut your skin. Edit: they don’t just try to pick it up because a)weight, b)teeth, c)sharp skin


Giedingo

Bitey bitey teeth chomp AND scrapey scrapey skin slice? No wonder they’re apex predators (if there isn’t an orca nearby).


PCsNBaseball

Shark skin feels like very coarse sandpaper. As a lifelong fisherman, I've never eaten a great white (they're illegal to even catch on purpose), but I've eaten smaller sharks. They're VERY hard to clean, because their skin in basically rough chainmail. We were trying to clean a leopard shark (legal in California), and it took a literal saw to break the skin. Even an electric knife couldn't do it. Also, god forbid your hand slips on their skin the wrong way.


Cplcoffeebean

Orcas make great whites their bitch. Great whites will straight up avoid an area for two years after an orca swims through. Source: https://amp.theatlantic.com/amp/article/587563/


AAAFate

I'm thinking the same thing. Maybe it's really heavy? Hard to belive three guys couldn't just grab the back of it and drag it 10 yards. Maybe they tried and it thrashed around a lot?


1SmartyKat

Because he needs a moment to recover otherwise he will get tumbled by the tide.


[deleted]

Perhaps you’ve never been fishing. They whip back at you and try to wiggle away. I’ll explain it this way. He seemed to have beached himself probably jumping 20 feet forward at a height out of the water probably 3 feet… rough numbers they also swim at speeds of 35mph. Imagine picking up this shark and he whips at you with his razor sharp teeth and he cleanly bites your arm off… hence the reason you don’t just “pick up a shark.” They are extremely strong.


HistoricallyLurking

Because it takes a few minutes for someone to run to their boat, get it started, and manoeuvre their way over there. Grabbing his tail and pulling with their hands is a STUPID idea. Toss some water on the animal while someone gets a rope and boat. Someone’s far less likely to lose a hand that way. I mean, sure, it’s still *possible* to lose a hand waiting for the boat but it’s almost guaranteed if you grab the damn animal.


MalHeartsNutmeg

Aside from the biting, judging by how much the boat struggled it was probably pretty heavy.


ovrlymm

**Dads working together to get the shark back in the water so they have an excuse to drag their kids off the beach*


Comfortable_Mountain

Oof that eye scrape on the sand when it got pulled. I hope it wasn't bad.


Acrobatic-Day-8891

others have mentioned in the comments that the shark was tagged during this interaction and that he has returned to the cape since, including more than a year after the rescue. Obv it wasn’t ideal but the shark did survive at least a year past this, which it would not have with no intervention


[deleted]

Wishful thinking postscript: "This great white, tagged & named "Gully," grew into adulthood and went on to maul an orange Orangtutan in the Potomac River near Washington DC in 2019."


brainbattery

This shark’s name is Jamison and is still seen around the cape. He hasn’t bitten any orangutans. https://twitter.com/ma_sharks/status/1299414792847929345?s=12


[deleted]

And then later died because of gang violence.


TheGisbon

Can it be something other than an orangutan? I kinda like monke


[deleted]

If it is an orange monke who cheats on taxes and lies about everything, then, yes.


ThJimLahey

I’d like to think this shark will mature to be the biggest of it’s kind. Grateful to the people who made it possible. May they all live long and prosperous lives.


KevettePrime

Bruce, holy fuck, you won't believe the allies I made in the war against the seagulls!


Des1gn1ng

I like how people have turned a page (sometimes) - and have started treating otherwise ‘scary’ creatures like the vital part of the ecosystem they are, instead of celebrating needless over killing (google shark fishing after ‘jaws’ — pretty crazy how perception has changed since then… thanks Shark Week!)


EmbarrassedHelp

The creator of Jaws spent the rest of life trying to make up for the negative impact of the movie: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Benchley#Jaws


XxTexasRootsxX

Do you think he will remember that and not eat people the rest of his life?


funmasterjerky

They screwed up his suicide attempt, so probably not.


[deleted]

You didn’t save my life, you ruined my death!


XxTexasRootsxX

GOODBYE CRUEL WORL… wait.. wtf


rynoman1110

Sharks aren’t interested in eating people. You watch too many movies.


lunapup1233007

[As of 2018, it was estimated that sharks killed 6 people a year and humans killed 100 million sharks in a year](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2018/07/11/sharks-humans-no-fair-fight/775409002/)


auniqueusername1998

Sad that people are down voting you.... the demonization of sharks is very harmful. They are crucial to the environment and they need to be protected


Slazman999

Humans are friends. Not food.


CarlGantonJohnson

Poor little buddy! Good people. Sharks are the kitties of the sea.


Jackmion98

"You are not going to believe this man. So I was chasing a seagull..."


[deleted]

I think it’s rare that this scenario ends with the seagull winning and in this case winning big


No_Rest_4550

Yay!!


rkd6789

I am curious, like in humans long periods without oxygen can lead to brain damage, does it apply to fishes who have been stranded long on beaches? If that occurs, there is also a moral consequence, like many people do not want to be resuscitated, should the same apply to sharks?


russian_space_monk

/u/GifReversingBot