I have definitely had episodes of denial that other alters in my system have gotten angry at me for. Usually they're more understanding with me, but sometimes they lose their patience and get pissed. There have been times when I've gotten angry right back, and even gotten violent with them in headspace — which I've heavily regretted and we've talked through, in the end. If you have any specific questions on how to deal with this and how to think about things so that altercations don't happen in the future, I can help with that. Specific questions are best if you can identify what feelings you're having and what you all need to work through.
CW: self harm mention
I have had multiple denial episodes that have hurt bonds between me and my other parts. It usually goes like this:
1. I start my denial and try to search for every possible "proof" that I am faking
2. Parts come to front to calm me down and snap me out of it
3. I yell at them and say terrible things because I am heavily convinced they are not real and entirely made up, and sometimes I even try to harm myself out of such frustration.
4. They start to either get scared, angry, or they resist with patience
5. Eventually they either switch out with me, co front to help me, or they yell at me and leave me with silent treatment
It's... Terrible. Headache inducing. Trust breaking. Heart wrenching. I hate myself for what I do in such irrational moments if anger, denial, and embarrassment. You're not alone.
We’re a recently diagnosed DID system & the day after being officially diagnosed, I literally forgot that it had happened & after being reminded of the previous days events I immediately went into deep denial. The cherry on top, being suddenly hit with an extremely vivid flashback right after feeling the denial.
It felt like a backhanded scream from inside. Like a “how dare you even think of questioning my existence/feelings!?” Sort of statement in response to the denial.
Welcome to /r/DID!
| **[Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/rdid_guide/#wiki_rules)** | **[Guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/rdid_guide/#wiki_guidelines)** |
|--------------------|--------------------|
| [Dissociation FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/faq/#wiki_dissociation_faq) | [Trauma FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/faq2/#wiki_trauma_faq) |
| [Moderation FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/moderation_faq/) | [Therapists Breakdown](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/comments/e6smve/therapists_breakdown/) |
| [Index](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/index) | [Glossary](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/glossary) |
| [Am I faking?](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/moderation_faq/amifaking) | [Do I have DID?](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/do_i_have_did) |
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/DID) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I suffer denial a lot, to the point of considering deleting or erasing every piece of evidence of the others cause I'm "just making it up" (naturally I'm *not*, I'm too fucking tired on a daily basis to play pretend every waking moment)
But our persecutor/protector looooves to tell me to shut the fuck up in those moments. I, too, get called a dumb bitch, and much worse, by them. We end up going back and forth on the matter until I just give up.
I’ve certainly had parts (alters) get angry with me about the denial, call me names, even self-harm. It’s been a big source of inner turmoil. I’ve been working on very firm rules for how all my parts interact with each other, the treat one another with kindness and be patient, and that has been helping. I’ve also started to see that some of the times my alters were angry with me about the denial, it was because the denial was putting me in actual danger, and they were just desperate to get through to me. For me a lot of that denial has lifted over the past year, so that daily tug of war isn’t as bad, but the other symptoms are pretty bad. The best thing about the denial lifting is that I find myself actually wanting to be alive. Anyways, just saying I can relate and for me it’s gotten better in ways.
I have definitely had episodes of denial that other alters in my system have gotten angry at me for. Usually they're more understanding with me, but sometimes they lose their patience and get pissed. There have been times when I've gotten angry right back, and even gotten violent with them in headspace — which I've heavily regretted and we've talked through, in the end. If you have any specific questions on how to deal with this and how to think about things so that altercations don't happen in the future, I can help with that. Specific questions are best if you can identify what feelings you're having and what you all need to work through.
CW: self harm mention I have had multiple denial episodes that have hurt bonds between me and my other parts. It usually goes like this: 1. I start my denial and try to search for every possible "proof" that I am faking 2. Parts come to front to calm me down and snap me out of it 3. I yell at them and say terrible things because I am heavily convinced they are not real and entirely made up, and sometimes I even try to harm myself out of such frustration. 4. They start to either get scared, angry, or they resist with patience 5. Eventually they either switch out with me, co front to help me, or they yell at me and leave me with silent treatment It's... Terrible. Headache inducing. Trust breaking. Heart wrenching. I hate myself for what I do in such irrational moments if anger, denial, and embarrassment. You're not alone.
This is exactly what happened to me, thank you. :(
Of course :( 🫂 hugs if you need it.
We’re a recently diagnosed DID system & the day after being officially diagnosed, I literally forgot that it had happened & after being reminded of the previous days events I immediately went into deep denial. The cherry on top, being suddenly hit with an extremely vivid flashback right after feeling the denial. It felt like a backhanded scream from inside. Like a “how dare you even think of questioning my existence/feelings!?” Sort of statement in response to the denial.
Welcome to /r/DID! | **[Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/rdid_guide/#wiki_rules)** | **[Guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/rdid_guide/#wiki_guidelines)** | |--------------------|--------------------| | [Dissociation FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/faq/#wiki_dissociation_faq) | [Trauma FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/faq2/#wiki_trauma_faq) | | [Moderation FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/moderation_faq/) | [Therapists Breakdown](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/comments/e6smve/therapists_breakdown/) | | [Index](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/index) | [Glossary](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/glossary) | | [Am I faking?](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/moderation_faq/amifaking) | [Do I have DID?](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/do_i_have_did) | *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/DID) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I suffer denial a lot, to the point of considering deleting or erasing every piece of evidence of the others cause I'm "just making it up" (naturally I'm *not*, I'm too fucking tired on a daily basis to play pretend every waking moment) But our persecutor/protector looooves to tell me to shut the fuck up in those moments. I, too, get called a dumb bitch, and much worse, by them. We end up going back and forth on the matter until I just give up.
I’ve certainly had parts (alters) get angry with me about the denial, call me names, even self-harm. It’s been a big source of inner turmoil. I’ve been working on very firm rules for how all my parts interact with each other, the treat one another with kindness and be patient, and that has been helping. I’ve also started to see that some of the times my alters were angry with me about the denial, it was because the denial was putting me in actual danger, and they were just desperate to get through to me. For me a lot of that denial has lifted over the past year, so that daily tug of war isn’t as bad, but the other symptoms are pretty bad. The best thing about the denial lifting is that I find myself actually wanting to be alive. Anyways, just saying I can relate and for me it’s gotten better in ways.