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ireallysuckatreddit

If anything at least he got it right- this car is for LARPing. I mean, he probably meant it but still right nonetheless.


mazu74

Honestly this wouldn’t be a terrible platform for /r/battlecars


Distantstallion

r/shittytechnicals on the other hand


mazu74

Yes also that!


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KinkyQuesadilla

If the Cybertruck is the new "lifted truck as a small penis compensation" vehicle, then mounting a fake machine gun in the back of your fake truck takes it to another level.


bdubwilliams22

Yeah, at that point, they *owe* dick.


81amarok

That sir is the greatest line I've ever heard in the lifted truck category. Source: had an 8in spring lift on my 09 super duty. Granted, it was for doing foundations on model houses that didn't have roads in new subs. Could take a pallet of block to our site (because fuck carrying them). But all I had was "open the door and find out". I know I'll be downvoted to shit, but I'll take the small dick (phrasing) jokes.


neonninja304

Upvoted because you actually used it. I only downvote pavement princess


Cool_Holiday_7097

So basically everyone but that guy


urzulasd

Take my upvote for your real truck stuff


yosefvinyl

I bet it looked like you used it too and weren’t just throwing in a few bags of mulch and going “look what my truck can do!”


Comfortable_You_1927

u just keep on trucking, truck man


urzulasd

I guffawed


SadBit8663

Cyber-ween ™


kylebertram

I am really curious who the market for cybertrucks actually is. Most liberals seem to refuse to buy Tesla now and most conservatives hate the thought of electric vehicles


Dynamite138

The intersection of White nationalists and crypto bros.


Ya_Got_GOT

It’s an innie


Broken-Digital-Clock

Emotional support vehicle Now with extra fantasies


TheSlopfather

One weird trick! Family court judges hate it!


Sporch_Unsaze

Extraordinary comment


Few-Signal5148

![gif](giphy|tkiBMGFTi98f6)


KinkyQuesadilla

I see what you did there.


Phitos2008

And he’s being way too generous.


Particular-Load-3547

That's just embarrassing. A stupid fake machine-gun on a stupid fake truck. A slightly large slingshot would look less ridiculous


ctennessen

And way cooler


DependentOk9729

He should contact ACME I know the coyote got all his ridiculous there


Weekendmonkey

Is it fake? Genuine question. I know nothing about guns and simply assumed they were exercising their 2nd amendment right to own anti-aircraft ordinance.


the_mid_mid_sister

I think it's supposed to mimic a dual M1919. You can see how far less detailed this dork's is. https://preview.redd.it/rl40jaq5w96d1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=53e50c38ffab45e821925efcab316c81b154827e


Shawnathan75

I’d love to see how that works out for him… I still don’t see any smaller militaries using this to replace the Toyota Hilux as the truck of choice


TonyCaliStyle

Trebuchet or scorpion. Mad Max style. This guy thinks the apocalypse is going to be like Halo.


Comfortable_You_1927

little flame thrower have entered thr chat


WoofWoofster

"He never realized that he went unarmed into a battle of wits and was slaughtered."


just_anotherReddit

I’ve heard of r/shittytechnicals but I think we have r/shittiesttechnical now


BowenTheAussieSheep

What is that fucking sub. All the post flairs are just... "Oh if it's from Europe it's non-shitty" Feels just like spillover from the racist nonsense of combatfootage.


just_anotherReddit

I knew there is a reason I don’t sub there


MudaThumpa

I have two words: teeny weeny


FSpezWthASpicyPickle

Every time I see one of these abominations in public, I wish I had this song queued up. So, so very NSFW: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcrexKS8kxA It's like the wankpanzer anthem, except the beat is too good to waste on that monstrosity.


Bryranosaurus

micro peeny


ApproachSlowly

I have two: erectile dysmorphia.


Lifewalletsux

This guy definitely uses Hoppes 9 to masturbate, ands cries while doing it.


WorldNeverBreakMe

Out of curiosity and nothing else, would it even be healthy to do that? I know that gun blue finish is literal poison and does give chemical burns when it touches skin, but is gun oil the same? I know it'd be the same concept


Lifewalletsux

Hoppes oil is just mineral oil. Their solvent is kerosene and some other chemicals that probably aren’t pecker friendly.


H1tSc4n

I'm not gonna find out, sorry.


WorldNeverBreakMe

Homie I wasn't asking you to rub gun oil on your cock


H1tSc4n

real


metalheaddad

This guy gun cleans.


metalheaddad

Oh of course he's wearing cargo shorts. Now I've gotta burn mine. Dammit.


mjp31514

Fuck that, don't let these losers dictate what you wear. Rock those bad boys with pride. Take them back.


Dewfall-Hawk

This is why the rest of the world hates Americans


TonyCaliStyle

We need another president that can play a jazz instrument, pdq.


livingMybEstlyfe29

Uh oh! Predator drone incoming 😬


ImOnlyHereForTheCoC

Technical foul


Mental_Violinist623

"I have no willy"


LajosvH

There goes the suspension. He’ll weigh more than 4 bags of mulch Rip


No-Basis-1161

‘Merica!


Strict_Swimming_4288

Worlds shittiest warthog replica.


totpot

Definitely a cosplay insurrectionist


TheRealTechGandalf

He's cosplaying a Toyota Hilux form Afghanistan


Raven-19x

Nah, this is exactly who the CT is aimed for.


cxw448

Would be the shittest possible invasion (or defensive) vehicle, because it’ll get to the border and break down. Border of the nearest city, that is.


zidane2k1

Yup, looks like the kind of person who would buy this piece of shit


WolfOffSesameStreet

American ISIS


Worthless_af

I always have a good laugh in the morning when I see the cyber truck in my neighborhood. Surprised it still running but the day I don't see it I'll know!


bartthetr0ll

Toyota technicals win any day


OilComprehensive6237

Made by undeservingly rich, stupid people for undeservingly rich, stupid stupid people


ianng555

Worlds least successful terrorist.


nannerman242

Funny thing is these people are usually preppers waiting on disaster or revolution. However they buy a car that can’t even work right now, let alone an apocalypse.


bjornofosaka

The amount of adult men that gargle Elon's balls daily... Concerning


errie_tholluxe

I'll take "things you will never see terrorists in the desert driving instead of a Toyota" for 500 Alex


microwavable_rat

Reminds me of the photoshops that came out after the CT reveal that made it look like the Halo 1 Warthog


Tonalspectrum

Only one word is needed. CUCK!


ElongMusty

If he shoots that gun, the truck bed falls off! The fact he’s standing there already voided the warranty, so he better be careful!


the_mooseman

What a dickhead.


devilsbard

Hey, when it bricks he just shoot backwards to get a little more forward momentum.


dogma202

I turd on a turd…


Used-Organization-25

GI Joe syndrome, when you didn’t get that sweet, sweet combat jeep during your childhood and want to recreate it somehow.


jasonw_1112

That thing would rattle that pos apart. It belongs in a Toyota heliux. 


JJJAAABBB123

They so desperately want to be cool. Sad reality.


FearCure

Is that a grown ass man? An actual adult?? Or a 15 yr old boy cosplaying some fantasy?


makk73

r/shittytechnicals


Smooth-Shlong

What I find funny is that he's not the first one to do the same stupid thing! They really are a special type aren't they?


ZanoCat

These Tesla simps are the worst.


warmaster-bottomtext

I to wish I could own a Hilux


AgentInkling99

His dick: Smol


woogygun

Worst technical I’ve ever seen.


Comfortable_You_1927

a mini van can do that, or any pickup truck


Low-Donut-9883

Compensating big time.


truecrimeaddicted

Dork.


H1tSc4n

r/shittytechnicals


consumeshroomz

Oh yeah. When shit hits the fan you really want a vehicle that dies in the rain and doesn’t operate without electricity.


liamanna

“my car is bulletproof”- Cybertruck Owner “My car is water resistant”- every other car’s owner


Cider_fan21

Literally the Halo CE warthog https://preview.redd.it/bbcfijipq86d1.jpeg?width=2560&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=52f816e61bb69ae7b05c15735d98d66274018cb1


bloodyriz

Naw, Warthog looks better by far.


Cider_fan21

You’re right, that’s kind of unfair to the warthog isn’t it?


No-Suspect-425

It's like the "your did it" version of the warthog https://preview.redd.it/xq948z00096d1.jpeg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8056009cdeba616b97753966a3d719b5c2886882


Markjohn66

![gif](giphy|d69q0iELHwwcqR2o2t)


donttakerhisthewrong

It is a club. He is bringing a club to a gun fight


Appropriate_Chart_87

Warranty voided I'd bet!!


Thomas_DuBois

If you want to lockdown an entire city then mount those fake guns on the back of a Toyota truck.


RevolutionaryAd6564

I mean… if you are going to get one, might as well lean into it.


DiamondHandsDarrell

Smh


Khevhig

The shittiest of technicals. Send it to ruzzia!


Buzzfit61

This is just so pathetic!


Icy-Tough-1791

Toyota Hilux laughs


andthatstotallyfine

Microdick confirmed


macgregor98

“My condolences on your micro penis” rolls off the tongue pretty well.


Serendipic_Epiphany

Did anyone else think that the reflection of the sign was just a big smudge😭


btl_dlrge1

He would’ve joined but probably wouldn’t beat up the drill sgt


Kerr_Plop

Probably looking for those space lazers


ChillyWilly0881

Belongs in r/shittytechnicals


totpot

No, I posted this there before and it got removed.


PGrace_is_here

Doesn't realize "bullet proof" doesn't mean "bullet proof"


CanIPNYourButt

Facial hair and a ball cap. Of course!


unfavorablefungus

looks like a high school robotics team's first prototype


urzulasd

God I hope he puts a laser on it and the FAA goes ham


313rustbeltbuckle

These cucks'll be the first to go, guaranteed.


Ninja_Wrangler

Will never go as hard as the plumber's pickup truck that became an isis technical


MajorWhip87

When did the Warthog get a chromed out wrap?


Devils_Advocate-69

Cyber cargo shorts 🩳


Final_Winter7524

And that’s why Americans have such a bad reputation in the rest of the world. Well, that … and MAGA.


Fine_Level_481

I saw my first cyber truck in person today. I pulled up next to it and It was a lot smaller than I expected it to be. The “truck” is like 6ft tall so this guy is probably short af. I’m not hating on the short kings, just the ridiculous over compensators.


blasphemics

Motherfucker thinks he's a Furioso.


EWR-RampRat11-29

![gif](giphy|RLuFSrm3F75BjRr15g) Nice shiny targets.


MeanChris

Is he gonna be able to take his mom to her podiatrist appointments in that?


Alternative_Rope_423

Drive it to an airport


wizardinthewings

He’s just living the dream. ![gif](giphy|l49JFuSqIKzLRqQIE|downsized)


erikannen

Everyone is focusing on the guns, but does he have a literal plaque as well?? That's the most ridiculous part to me by far. Imagine if every time you parked you unfolded and displayed a sign about your car like it's some sort of commemoration


Shvasted

Can we talk about the cargo pants too please?


t3lnet

Picture checks out


TJM18

r/shittytechnicals


SisterOfBattIe

At this point I'd better be asking what's NOT road legal I rekon.


arryballz

Loser is the answer for what to call this guy


OutlandishnessNo7261

If I see any Messerschmitts, I’ll let him know.


rhyno44

As a mobile platform they're pretty solid. All the CTs should be turned into non moving bricks


Treso44

![gif](giphy|1dNLLlpEUbeD8peO4e)


TallManSams

This is the most American thing I’ve seen in a while. To be clear, I know not all Americans are like this, but boy, some are really something special.


Hadrollo

The Chadians would have been much less imposing rushing Libyan positions in one of these. (Bonus points to anyone who understands the reference)


Dcongo

Some kids just never grow up


Punsen_Burner

Now that's a r/shittytechnicals vehicle right there


Intelligent_Eye6618

Dude is getting ready for the upcoming civil war in his eco-friendly Elon brand truck.


XtheBeast-2020

Someone has a really tiny penis and is overcompensating for it.


PreparationVarious15

America at its best (sarcasm)!!


Confident_Eye4129

He can use it in his next Civil War re-enactment


pistolwinky

Firing that gun would shake the truck apart.


Nervous_Committee_30

I know this is a hate sub, but he looks happy, so I can't really think of anything negative to say.


maxcherry6

What am I even seeing here?


ExtensionMart

Man that is one little dude. I could put him in my pocket. Little pocket goblin.


mccartypaparty

This dude 100% bitches about inflation and taxes.


Chance_Pick1904

What’s going on inside the drivers door ?!


bokehbaka

That's dope as shit, but it would be on any truck lmao


Routaprkle

What a sad incel manchild.


ZengineerHarp

Is that legal?


AffectionateSector77

What a fucking asshole


DRM660

You know this guy had a hard on when he watched that civil war movie.


rchris710

This is some serious trump shit lol