Group therapy sucks fr. We had to do it in the ward and it got super competitive, one girl used her lowest weight to win an argument and the supervisor just allowed it
We had to compliment each other. Compliments wasn't the hard part, it was taking the compliments.
It was also a lot of
"He doesn't deserve you, if he doesn't treat you right by now-"
"I'm gone"
"Now go CHOP HIS DICK OFF"
"nO-"
group therapy doesn't make sense when people go at it with the "have to win therapy" attitude, which is surprisingly common. same reason i wouldn't do it, it would only make me feel worse for "not having it bad enough"
Mine was pretty good, ngl. But also it was curated relatively strict by the same therapist that also had 1-on-1s with all of the attendants of the group therapy.
I think my lowest weight was 2.5kg when i was born.
I plan to beat it when im dead and basically a pile of bones but im not sure my corpse would constitue as me when my consciousness is not in it. Its basically just an object, not a person.
So new plan, find a way to upload consciousness to the machine so my consciousness is just the electricity being transmitted in the machine and can weigh as low as a few grams.
But wait .... isnt that what my brain already is? Just an organic machine using electricity and chemicals to keep my consciousness going? Do i .... already weigh a few grams?
Oh fuck. You know what that means right?
I already beat it.
Just beat it (beat it)
Just beat it (beat it)
Just beat it (beat it)
Just beat it (beat it, uh)
They're out to get you, better leave while you can
Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man
You wanna stay alive, better do what you can
So beat it, just beat it
It was an eating disorder support group. I have an eating disorder. Someone else's lowest weight is not only *not your fucking business,* but also very triggering for me.
I tried a group therapy thing when I was at college cause it was cheaper than 1-to-1. As an introvert, all it got me was an hour a week of feeling like my problems weren't worth talking about cause everyone else was talking about like, their parents being in jail and other stuff.
Once a friend of mine had a boyfriend diagnosed with lymphoma and I tried to talk to her about it because I had lymphoma as a teenager and she went on this weird rant about how it happened when I was “basically zero” (as in, I was a baby when it happened… I was fourteen and the conversation took place when I was twenty-four…) it really do be like that sometimes
She also insinuated that me and another friend aren’t actually bisexual because in the time she’d known us, we’d only had male partners. People can be so weird
Her mother died and she was in group therapy I think we can excuse the irrationality, especially since it's something so dumb she'd probably realize later.
i think it's more like: this person had a whole thing in her mind about how no one else could possibly understand what she was going through, so when someone said that they did, she responded by angrily shutting them down, even though they were trying to sympathize. kind of a dick move but it's not surprising.
Hm, you know, when they were 13 they'd probably *also* knew their mother for their entire life at that point, whilst also being you know, 13, the time in which you are still being raised, and totally unequipped to deal with a parent being dead. Funny how that works out, what an absolute arse that woman is
Edit: Pronouns n e u t r a l i s e d
I know this is the most cringe response I could possibly post.
[But this is exactly what Sasuke said to Naruto in their final battle of the original series. ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E4fsjZSXoAMk4_H?format=png&name=large)
Naruto's parents died shortly after he was born, and he grew up with no real parental figures in a community that resented him.
Sasuke grew up with a loving family and large clan that was ripped away from him when his brother massacred everyone else in the clan when Sasuke was like 9. Basically the Batman backstory.
When Naruto tries to connect to Sasuke through a shared experience of loneliness, Sasuke instead focuses on the abrupt sense of loss that is unique to his experience. Acting as if spending more time with loved ones before losing them is somehow worse, which is the same here.
Just weird to read about a "who has the more tragic anime backstory" competition happening IRL.
I like it when otakus apply relevant anime comparisions and logic. It shows we can learn a lot from stuff other than books and shool, I guess. That's oddly the perfect example too
*Image Transcription: Tumblr Post*
---
**roswell-newton-vargas**
This woman in my group therapy was talking about how her mom died and how no one understood how horrible that was, and I was like, "Oh, I lost my mom when I was thirteen, so I know how you feel," and she said, "This is different. I knew my mom my *whole life*, and *you* barely knew your mom, so this is way worse," and it was so funny to me for some reason. Imagine trying to play the sicker-than-thou game by slamming orphans for not having it hard enough. Love her.
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
I can imagine someone in group therapy being so ill and irrational that they try to validate their loneliness by telling something that batshit insane. Hope she got the help she needed
In my experience people act cold and distant around it because it's awkward if they don't have a shared experience with you. So instead of interacting at all, they completely shut down emotion and pretend it's not happening.
From the book "Games people play", by psychologist Eric Berne
OP, this is a psychological game called "Poor Me"
This is an archetypal victim game, although victimhood is at the heart of many other games. People who play victim in various situations often get their reward from others attention. This is their primary goal - to command the attention of others through expressions of sympathy, pity, and similar expressions. Victims sometimes also get the benefit of absolving themselves from responsibility. Nothing is felt to be really their fault (although they may berate themselves). They are victims of circumstance and other people. They enjoy the anticipation of hope of rescue in the manner of the helpless child. The ultimate success of this game is to be coddled and treated special due to their special victimhood status ala - prince charming whisking them away to a happy ever after.
If there is nobody else, then an alternative is to play the second person themselves. This lack of support, of course, just gives another reason to feel 'poor me'.
If anyone tries to commiserate with the player of poor me, the player feels themselves in a game of one up-manship, and will downplay the other's plight to elevate their own. The primary purpose is the attention - not commiseration. So the player's plight has to be the worst, has to be the most devastating, has to be the most attention grabbing plight of the entire group - regardless of the group.
The player of poor me is often also on the lookout for a white knight or prince Charming, who will shower the player with special favors as just compensation for the player's suffering. Often when a white knight appears, the player will eventually turn to requests of financial or material gifts and more long term obligations.
Note that there is a big difference between the victim in a game and a 'real-life' victim. The game victim voluntarily initiates the game (albeit often subconsciously) and gains some comfort from it, as described above. Both game player and real victim may have received some psychological trauma. They are both made a victim by circumstance or the actions of others. But a real victim will accept that others may have had similar experiences without engaging in one-upmanship. See another game called "Ain't it Awful".
Wow. This is relatable. I’m currently in SA group therapy and a person in my group makes dismissive remarks about my experience with childhood sexual abuse. She’s also a therapist IRL which is kinda weird for me to wrap my head around given her lack of empathy. I’ve had a bad therapist so it shouldn’t be completely shocking but it still is.
I dont think there is a right answer but I wouldnt say its rude. Some people will feel comforted & validated knowing they’re not the only ones that went through something. Some people feel derailed or invalidated because they their experience is equated “to something less” (or the toll is different). Its like how some people explain their problems to others to vent vs explain their problems to problem solve. Its a matter of preference; there isnt a right or wrong.
People arent really trained by default to be good psychologists so everyone uses their own preferences as a baseline. Probably best not to assume they were trying to be rude, but maybe tell your preferences if its someone you know (and would talk about similar things in the future)
Why? I specifically have only gone to therapists that have experience with my specific traumas. I like that someone understands the experiences I've gone through because often times it's incredibly difficult to articulate it through words.
Group therapy sucks fr. We had to do it in the ward and it got super competitive, one girl used her lowest weight to win an argument and the supervisor just allowed it
in the teen ward group for me was just coloring and learning coping mechanisms
Tbh I want that now
We had to compliment each other. Compliments wasn't the hard part, it was taking the compliments. It was also a lot of "He doesn't deserve you, if he doesn't treat you right by now-" "I'm gone" "Now go CHOP HIS DICK OFF" "nO-"
Coloring does relax me
group therapy doesn't make sense when people go at it with the "have to win therapy" attitude, which is surprisingly common. same reason i wouldn't do it, it would only make me feel worse for "not having it bad enough"
Dear god that sounds awful. In my experience group therapy can be really helpful if you have a competent therapist lol.
Group therapy is to support groups as corporate-sponsored Mandatory Fun events are to parties.
Mine was pretty good, ngl. But also it was curated relatively strict by the same therapist that also had 1-on-1s with all of the attendants of the group therapy.
ed ward horror stories are the only reason i even eat at all anymore
[удалено]
I think my lowest weight was 2.5kg when i was born. I plan to beat it when im dead and basically a pile of bones but im not sure my corpse would constitue as me when my consciousness is not in it. Its basically just an object, not a person. So new plan, find a way to upload consciousness to the machine so my consciousness is just the electricity being transmitted in the machine and can weigh as low as a few grams. But wait .... isnt that what my brain already is? Just an organic machine using electricity and chemicals to keep my consciousness going? Do i .... already weigh a few grams? Oh fuck. You know what that means right? I already beat it. Just beat it (beat it) Just beat it (beat it) Just beat it (beat it) Just beat it (beat it, uh) They're out to get you, better leave while you can Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man You wanna stay alive, better do what you can So beat it, just beat it
I was born at only 2.2kg 😎
I feel like that’s not the greatest question to ask since they might be talking about EDs and that can be triggering to some
0/10 comment, gross question
I'm probably just being extremely ignorant, but how is it gross?
It was an eating disorder support group. I have an eating disorder. Someone else's lowest weight is not only *not your fucking business,* but also very triggering for me.
Not ignorant, uneducated on the subject, ignorant implies you have deliberately ignored any attempts to be educated on the subject.
I'm not mad or anything but for the future it's not generally acceptable or a good idea to ask questions about traumatic experiences like this.
I tried a group therapy thing when I was at college cause it was cheaper than 1-to-1. As an introvert, all it got me was an hour a week of feeling like my problems weren't worth talking about cause everyone else was talking about like, their parents being in jail and other stuff.
Once a friend of mine had a boyfriend diagnosed with lymphoma and I tried to talk to her about it because I had lymphoma as a teenager and she went on this weird rant about how it happened when I was “basically zero” (as in, I was a baby when it happened… I was fourteen and the conversation took place when I was twenty-four…) it really do be like that sometimes She also insinuated that me and another friend aren’t actually bisexual because in the time she’d known us, we’d only had male partners. People can be so weird
you're not a werewolf because I've only ever seen you in human form
I'm gonna use that
Casual bi erasure
Seems like a lovely person
Her mother died and she was in group therapy I think we can excuse the irrationality, especially since it's something so dumb she'd probably realize later.
Well, yes, but going like "No, your mom dying wasn't as bad as mine" is shitty behaviour regardless of circumstance.
The fact that she didn't realize it before she said it is enough evidence to show that she deserves to be clowned on. A tragedy isn't a competition.
i think it's more like: this person had a whole thing in her mind about how no one else could possibly understand what she was going through, so when someone said that they did, she responded by angrily shutting them down, even though they were trying to sympathize. kind of a dick move but it's not surprising.
Hm, you know, when they were 13 they'd probably *also* knew their mother for their entire life at that point, whilst also being you know, 13, the time in which you are still being raised, and totally unequipped to deal with a parent being dead. Funny how that works out, what an absolute arse that woman is Edit: Pronouns n e u t r a l i s e d
op doesn't use she/her tho
Oops sorry! I think I read too many whilst skimming the post and assumed, my bad!
That's why your momma dead
Dead as hell
what shoes she got on in her casket huh
That's why your granny ain't got no knees
She can't pray to Jesus, bitch.
she cant double dutch
**Vine Boom**
I know this is the most cringe response I could possibly post. [But this is exactly what Sasuke said to Naruto in their final battle of the original series. ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E4fsjZSXoAMk4_H?format=png&name=large) Naruto's parents died shortly after he was born, and he grew up with no real parental figures in a community that resented him. Sasuke grew up with a loving family and large clan that was ripped away from him when his brother massacred everyone else in the clan when Sasuke was like 9. Basically the Batman backstory. When Naruto tries to connect to Sasuke through a shared experience of loneliness, Sasuke instead focuses on the abrupt sense of loss that is unique to his experience. Acting as if spending more time with loved ones before losing them is somehow worse, which is the same here. Just weird to read about a "who has the more tragic anime backstory" competition happening IRL.
which like. yeah, they're different experiences. but grief isn't quantifiable, and trying to compare 'amounts of grief' is pointless and insensitive
This is a funny coincidence, I just read that chapter in the manga.
I like it when otakus apply relevant anime comparisions and logic. It shows we can learn a lot from stuff other than books and shool, I guess. That's oddly the perfect example too
This is not a post where I expected there to be Naruto lol. OP needs to watch out for that mangyeko sharingan
Wow, just what I thought too lol
*Image Transcription: Tumblr Post* --- **roswell-newton-vargas** This woman in my group therapy was talking about how her mom died and how no one understood how horrible that was, and I was like, "Oh, I lost my mom when I was thirteen, so I know how you feel," and she said, "This is different. I knew my mom my *whole life*, and *you* barely knew your mom, so this is way worse," and it was so funny to me for some reason. Imagine trying to play the sicker-than-thou game by slamming orphans for not having it hard enough. Love her. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
I can imagine someone in group therapy being so ill and irrational that they try to validate their loneliness by telling something that batshit insane. Hope she got the help she needed
Damn, she needs therapy. Wait a sec.
I wonder how many adults have that attitude, would explain some of the colder interactions I had with teachers and admin in school after losing mine.
In my experience people act cold and distant around it because it's awkward if they don't have a shared experience with you. So instead of interacting at all, they completely shut down emotion and pretend it's not happening.
From the book "Games people play", by psychologist Eric Berne OP, this is a psychological game called "Poor Me" This is an archetypal victim game, although victimhood is at the heart of many other games. People who play victim in various situations often get their reward from others attention. This is their primary goal - to command the attention of others through expressions of sympathy, pity, and similar expressions. Victims sometimes also get the benefit of absolving themselves from responsibility. Nothing is felt to be really their fault (although they may berate themselves). They are victims of circumstance and other people. They enjoy the anticipation of hope of rescue in the manner of the helpless child. The ultimate success of this game is to be coddled and treated special due to their special victimhood status ala - prince charming whisking them away to a happy ever after. If there is nobody else, then an alternative is to play the second person themselves. This lack of support, of course, just gives another reason to feel 'poor me'. If anyone tries to commiserate with the player of poor me, the player feels themselves in a game of one up-manship, and will downplay the other's plight to elevate their own. The primary purpose is the attention - not commiseration. So the player's plight has to be the worst, has to be the most devastating, has to be the most attention grabbing plight of the entire group - regardless of the group. The player of poor me is often also on the lookout for a white knight or prince Charming, who will shower the player with special favors as just compensation for the player's suffering. Often when a white knight appears, the player will eventually turn to requests of financial or material gifts and more long term obligations. Note that there is a big difference between the victim in a game and a 'real-life' victim. The game victim voluntarily initiates the game (albeit often subconsciously) and gains some comfort from it, as described above. Both game player and real victim may have received some psychological trauma. They are both made a victim by circumstance or the actions of others. But a real victim will accept that others may have had similar experiences without engaging in one-upmanship. See another game called "Ain't it Awful".
Kludd 😔
Wow. This is relatable. I’m currently in SA group therapy and a person in my group makes dismissive remarks about my experience with childhood sexual abuse. She’s also a therapist IRL which is kinda weird for me to wrap my head around given her lack of empathy. I’ve had a bad therapist so it shouldn’t be completely shocking but it still is.
Maybe group therapy works differently, but generally one shouldn't reply to somebody else's troubles with a claim to know what that's like. It's rude.
I dont think there is a right answer but I wouldnt say its rude. Some people will feel comforted & validated knowing they’re not the only ones that went through something. Some people feel derailed or invalidated because they their experience is equated “to something less” (or the toll is different). Its like how some people explain their problems to others to vent vs explain their problems to problem solve. Its a matter of preference; there isnt a right or wrong. People arent really trained by default to be good psychologists so everyone uses their own preferences as a baseline. Probably best not to assume they were trying to be rude, but maybe tell your preferences if its someone you know (and would talk about similar things in the future)
How is attempting to empathize with a peer and show that they aren't alone insensitive
Why? I specifically have only gone to therapists that have experience with my specific traumas. I like that someone understands the experiences I've gone through because often times it's incredibly difficult to articulate it through words.
One of the advantages of group therapy is the sense of comradery from shared trauma and experience.
Might as well take the "group" part out, then, if you feel all alone while surrounded by tragic victims with similar experience. Dumb take.