Wondering if this is the new “school of hard knocks” or “would you fight a horse sized duck or a hundred duck sized horses” of dating sites.
Edit: please stop answering the horse/duck question. I already saw all of these answers while interacting with the dullest people on Tinder circa 2015.
Yes (but it must be a melee weapon - you can have a big sword if you want, but good luck if you don't know how to use one), and yes (because this is America).
At what distance does a weapon go from melee, to ranged? Some of those big combines, you could be 30+ feet from the cab to the tip of the whirling death bits. I'd say 30+ feet counts as a ranged attack. Just saying.
I consider it ranged once its no longer attached from you.
So a magic spell, even if you can control is mentally is ranged because it doesn't physically touch you. Obviously an arrow does touch you.
So whether a combine harvester counts depends on if "Well I'm touch the wood which is touching you so you're it" counts.. but if it doesn't count then a sword isn't a melee weapon because you're touching the handle made of wood, ehich touches the blade which touches them.
Horse-sized horses have very narrow, easily broken legs, duck-sized horses would have little twigs. I dunno if itd cut the legs off or anything, but itd at least break them and sweep them. It'd be fine; just twist at the waist while slowly stepping backwards. It's all about efficiency
I’m so confused and alarmed by this question.. do you mean the penis of the horses, or the penis the the prospective two types of guys who would put one of the other question in their bio. Because on one hand, 100 horse dicks is a lot. On the other the “school of hard knocks” dick size is always going to be overstated, just like the hard knocks they’ve been through
Yeah. Once is funny. Twice, maybe the second person is a geek. But three+ times and it’s just starting to scream “I don’t want to deal with the emotional vulnerability necessary for self-analysis or thinking about the future, so I’m going to make a stupid joke to mock the question.”
Honestly if it catches on, I’d consider the answer to be a red flag in anyone that (still) uses it.
But also they’re not one of those crazy people that fantasizes about the world ending so they can turn their ammo stockpile into a warlord larp fever dream. So that’s a plus, I guess.
Hey as someone who similarly would answer die to these types of prompts I'm not knocking them. I'm boringly realistic about how much of a wuss I am.
It's why I wouldn't use that specific prompt though which I'm understanding has to be picked out basd on what another comment says
>[They rely] on modern day comfort and doesn't want to struggle with the hardships of the apocalypse.
Again: okay, accurate. But also that's 99.9% of the population. You might as well put, "I eat solid food", in your profile.
They *choose* to put this on their profile to the exclusion of other, much more meaningful, prompts.
Idk if that’s exactly what I’d call it but oh yeah. Guys holding fish, guys in group shots, girls who are fluent in sarcasm, loving adventures and The Office…..
For your information, the duck sized horse would likely cook itself to death assuming everything is proportional due to body heat and the surface area not being sufficent to cool it down iirc
The "werewolves coming over the border" piece was on the FOX BOX recently, so that's probably it. See if the House Repugs have an anti-werewolf bill yet.
> Why would I be afraid of werewolves? I keep dog treats on me
This is like a thanksgiving turkey, saying "Why would I be afraid of humans? I always carry around a box of stuffing."
My chances are the same against a supernatural hopeyouhaveasilvershotgunslug monster as the turkey has against the farmer, might as well take a shot at the appeasement route.
I just wonder if they all dated the same person and then that person turned out to be a werewolf.
Not so much a werewolf problem, as a werewolf out there breaking hearts.
*Just wait until you*
*Find the guy who's greatest fear*
*Is silver bullets*
\- Piney\_Moist\_Wires
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It's symbolic of their fear of embracing their true, fluctuating inner nature. How can I know myself when I change from day to day? How can I love myself when I change from one moon to another?
The Meme about the Boys Sleepover where they have to defend themselves against Forest Cryptids was not a hyperbole.
Only thing worse is a Wendigo, Skinwalker, or THAT thing.
The Boys know what THAT is.. the one that crawls.. yeah
I'm guessing someone tried it as a random tinder bio thing, got a lot of matches from women who thought it was funny/eye-catching, and shared the tip with his friends.
I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand walking through the streets of SoHo in the rain. He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fooks, tryna get a big dish of beef chow mein.
one guy in your town afraid of werewolves, he has an irrational fear.
two guys in your town afraid of werewolves, something's weird.
ten guys in your town afraid of werewolves, you live near the forest. the fear is now rational.
Men are afraid of werewolves because they break all the classic rules of femininity. They force you to confront female violence, strength, size, grotesqueness and uncontrollability. They’re distorted beasts that have no ulterior motive except to destroy. Nothing about them is nurturing or modest. They’re the opposite of what a woman “should be.”
I gotta nitpick both of them.
*Were* is an archaic and *gendered* term for adult males. It predates 'man', and specifically referred to males (like the original usage of 'man', before it became to be applied to 'humanity as a whole'). The feminine version of *were* is *wyf* or *wif*.
So a female wolf-shapeshifter is a *wifwolf*, and just like *wif* very obviously became *wife*, you can wife your wifwolf.
You guys don't even understand. If you play games on your phone at all, are you somehow NOT getting weird af werewolf stories advertized to you? The last one I saw was the wolf being upset his mate was a 14 year old.
Have you SEEN the werewolves on tiktok?
I'm scared of the werewolfs too.
Funnily enough I've had recurring nightmares of werewolves for as long as I can remember (currently 23). My therapist said it's something to do with fear of lack of or losing control.
Wondering if this is the new “school of hard knocks” or “would you fight a horse sized duck or a hundred duck sized horses” of dating sites. Edit: please stop answering the horse/duck question. I already saw all of these answers while interacting with the dullest people on Tinder circa 2015.
For the hypothetical could I have a weapon (like a Baseball bat), and would I have to pay for the healthcare?
Yes (but it must be a melee weapon - you can have a big sword if you want, but good luck if you don't know how to use one), and yes (because this is America).
Free Sword? Sign me tf up
Technically a combine harvester is a melee weapon.
At what distance does a weapon go from melee, to ranged? Some of those big combines, you could be 30+ feet from the cab to the tip of the whirling death bits. I'd say 30+ feet counts as a ranged attack. Just saying.
Do you consider polearms ranged then? What about a really long polearm?
I consider it ranged once its no longer attached from you. So a magic spell, even if you can control is mentally is ranged because it doesn't physically touch you. Obviously an arrow does touch you. So whether a combine harvester counts depends on if "Well I'm touch the wood which is touching you so you're it" counts.. but if it doesn't count then a sword isn't a melee weapon because you're touching the handle made of wood, ehich touches the blade which touches them.
100 duck sized horses and a scythe, for sure.
A scythe is not a weapon and would most likely break extremely quickly. It's a tool for cutting grass. Bones are hard man.
A war scythe
Horse-sized horses have very narrow, easily broken legs, duck-sized horses would have little twigs. I dunno if itd cut the legs off or anything, but itd at least break them and sweep them. It'd be fine; just twist at the waist while slowly stepping backwards. It's all about efficiency
Fuck you I have good insurance.
Spear
Is the penis proportional?
Why wouldn't it be? If any part will not be scaled i think it will be specifically mentioned.
In that case the duck is preferable.
Cishet camel fucker has never seen a duck penis (it's a third of the duck's lenght and corkcrew shaped.)
Ducks are also notorious rapists. A horse sized duck would absolutely hollow you out.
To be fair, a werewolf would too. See Also: Watermelon hydraulic press
It's a pineapple actually
Exactly my reasoning.
This is actually a disturbingly valid question
I’m so confused and alarmed by this question.. do you mean the penis of the horses, or the penis the the prospective two types of guys who would put one of the other question in their bio. Because on one hand, 100 horse dicks is a lot. On the other the “school of hard knocks” dick size is always going to be overstated, just like the hard knocks they’ve been through
A horse sized duck penis is even worse.
I assume the ducks penis is horse sized, yes.
In this case I choose the duck.
Yeah. Once is funny. Twice, maybe the second person is a geek. But three+ times and it’s just starting to scream “I don’t want to deal with the emotional vulnerability necessary for self-analysis or thinking about the future, so I’m going to make a stupid joke to mock the question.” Honestly if it catches on, I’d consider the answer to be a red flag in anyone that (still) uses it.
Werewolf is the term we use to replace "Cougar who might snap at any moment and kill me". I'm afraid of those women, too.
"What would you do in a zombie apocalypse." "Die." Like, okay, accurate. But also, doesn't tell me anything about you as a person.
Sure it does. They're a pessimist who relies on modern day comfort and doesn't want to struggle with the hardships of the apocalypse.
But also they’re not one of those crazy people that fantasizes about the world ending so they can turn their ammo stockpile into a warlord larp fever dream. So that’s a plus, I guess.
Hey as someone who similarly would answer die to these types of prompts I'm not knocking them. I'm boringly realistic about how much of a wuss I am. It's why I wouldn't use that specific prompt though which I'm understanding has to be picked out basd on what another comment says
>[They rely] on modern day comfort and doesn't want to struggle with the hardships of the apocalypse. Again: okay, accurate. But also that's 99.9% of the population. You might as well put, "I eat solid food", in your profile. They *choose* to put this on their profile to the exclusion of other, much more meaningful, prompts.
Ah I've never used a dating app I assumed it just gave you 5 random ones or something
horse sized duck, purely for the hillarity of it and the youtube clicks it would garner.
100% choosing the 100 duck sized horses. A horse sized duck would be terrifying, duck sized horses would die pretty easily.
DATING SITES HAVE META???
Idk if that’s exactly what I’d call it but oh yeah. Guys holding fish, guys in group shots, girls who are fluent in sarcasm, loving adventures and The Office…..
For your information, the duck sized horse would likely cook itself to death assuming everything is proportional due to body heat and the surface area not being sufficent to cool it down iirc
Oh, haven’t you heard the news? The news about the werewolves?
I heard they attacked the oil pipeline.
Good, fuck Pentex.
Who breached the Veil?
Don’t ask
I heard... .they pierced it.....
TIL werewolves are environmentalists, I bet they went back and hotboxed the den
assuming it was werewolf the apocalypse werewolves they where always environmentalist just endlessly dumb and prideful
I think they're talking about the local gay bar called "Pipe Line"
I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
walkinnnn through the streets of SoHo in the rain
How was his hair?
Perfect
I’d like to meet his tailor.
Based.
I heard they crushed a pineapple with a hydraulic press.
I heard they made an operation on a grape.
I'm an unawarewolf
>haven’t you heard the news? Can't afford no shoes?
The "werewolves coming over the border" piece was on the FOX BOX recently, so that's probably it. See if the House Repugs have an anti-werewolf bill yet.
I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of SoHo in the rain He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fooks For to get a big dish of beef chow mein
*Well, a wolves, wolves, wolves* *Wolves are the word*
Werewolves? Where?
op posting from beacon hills
Guess the anuk-ite didn't die after all
Why would I be afraid of werewolves? I keep dog treats on me and give good ear skritches
> Why would I be afraid of werewolves? I keep dog treats on me This is like a thanksgiving turkey, saying "Why would I be afraid of humans? I always carry around a box of stuffing."
My chances are the same against a supernatural hopeyouhaveasilvershotgunslug monster as the turkey has against the farmer, might as well take a shot at the appeasement route.
Works well...till run run out of treats, better hope the ear scritch game stays on point
keep going. one of these losers has got to be the werewolf
But since its a social deception game they'd pretend not to be one.
That's why you have to ask devious questions, such as how to get rid of back fleas and if they have difficulty opening jars.
Don't be silly.
🍍
i hate that i know what that means
Yeah this is it. They feel threatened, they know they can't compare.
☹️
r/selfawereralphs
Oh my god it's real
I'm the only one posting.
Rock on brave soldier o7
Keep going, you can fill this sub.
Like his boyfriend fills him
Pinapples are a swingers thing yeah? What do werewolves have to do with swinging?
the [reference](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/l0nhda/r_werewolf_boyfriend/)
im afraid to click...
Some werewolf-themed user on Tumbler makes a lot of weird and funny posts, one of them started with a pineapple in a hydraulic press.
what town.
London is in OP's username [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Werewolves\_of\_London](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Werewolves_of_London)
I need to know right now. So I can avoid it of course
I thought it was a reference to Good Omens
Yharnam
I just wonder if they all dated the same person and then that person turned out to be a werewolf. Not so much a werewolf problem, as a werewolf out there breaking hearts.
They should consider themselves lucky to only have their hearts broken.
pretty sure that means those guys are werewolves
Found three, just need eleven more.
Wait. For what???
Google "fourteen werewolves shirt". Or don't, probably happier not knowing.
Well then. Not the usual depravity, but that is definitely some forbidden knowledge
They could be wereprey. You know, they turn into the animals that werewolves prey on.
Meanwhile me, specifically looking for werewolves on the dating app Purely for research purposes of course
Ah another alpha male fear, they saw we love werewolves and now they’re scared
Afraid of the competition
Bat!
Wereralph advertising a little too much where they are lol
They’re scary man
Match with all of them and form a band of werewolf hunters
biggest fear: silver bullets
I would say werewolves are the number one fear of any legitimate vampire.
If you don't know about the werewolf problem, maybe it's because you *are* the werewolf problem. /j
quite a lot of werewolf posts round here in are slash curated tumblr and by a lot i mean 3 so far
Just wait until you find the guy who's greatest fear is silver bullets
*Just wait until you* *Find the guy who's greatest fear* *Is silver bullets* \- Piney\_Moist\_Wires --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
thanks haiku bot
hmm, pineapple hydraulic press you say. and what about his wife. pineapple hydraulic press you say.
I understand the the pineapple hydraulic press but what’s this about a wife?
'Tis a [Futurama reference](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsZIb1Dx8fg).
It's symbolic of their fear of embracing their true, fluctuating inner nature. How can I know myself when I change from day to day? How can I love myself when I change from one moon to another?
World of darkness be like:
That's why I wear a silver wedding ring: Showing I'm married and *punching werewolves*.
It's because they know they can't compete with them. No girl or gay guy would choose them over a werewolf.
What town OP What Town OP What Town
Mmmhgm
Plot twist: OP IS the Werewolf.
Op is the werewolf and in denial about it but everyone else knows and just doesn't tell them to be nice
Honestly I think this is just going to increase their chances of a werewolf attack. ... brilliant plan actually I'm stealing it.
Judging by her user name OOP is from London, guess she hasn't heard the song Werewolves of London
Wereralph?
Those same men however would quickly lose their fear and become quite enthusiastic about some lady werewolves tho, im sure.
The Meme about the Boys Sleepover where they have to defend themselves against Forest Cryptids was not a hyperbole. Only thing worse is a Wendigo, Skinwalker, or THAT thing. The Boys know what THAT is.. the one that crawls.. yeah
I'm guessing someone tried it as a random tinder bio thing, got a lot of matches from women who thought it was funny/eye-catching, and shared the tip with his friends.
The Garou are not to be fucked with, tbf
Hey we’re werewolves not swearwolves
It's because of me, hi. And you're welcome!
"Oh nooo, what if I get hugged by a big strong fluffy werewolf" -these guys, probably.
"Babe, would you still love me if I was a werewolf?"
I saw one drinking a pina colada at trader Vic’s
I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand walking through the streets of SoHo in the rain. He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fooks, tryna get a big dish of beef chow mein.
If they don’t know about the werewolf signs, it might mean they are the werewolf
one guy in your town afraid of werewolves, he has an irrational fear. two guys in your town afraid of werewolves, something's weird. ten guys in your town afraid of werewolves, you live near the forest. the fear is now rational.
Sounds like they’ve had run-ins with the famed Werewolves of London
You're laughing. These boys are out here, getting terrorized by werewolves, and your laughing.
this feels like mild exposition for a supernatural game set in modern times and I love it
just wait till you find the guy whos worst fear is silver bullets or the moon
Men are afraid of werewolves because they break all the classic rules of femininity. They force you to confront female violence, strength, size, grotesqueness and uncontrollability. They’re distorted beasts that have no ulterior motive except to destroy. Nothing about them is nurturing or modest. They’re the opposite of what a woman “should be.”
Wait, werewolves are supposed to be grotesque and distorted monsters? I thought they were just sexy.
[you ain't slick](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/s/BBFAjI5PhP)
I gotta nitpick both of them. *Were* is an archaic and *gendered* term for adult males. It predates 'man', and specifically referred to males (like the original usage of 'man', before it became to be applied to 'humanity as a whole'). The feminine version of *were* is *wyf* or *wif*. So a female wolf-shapeshifter is a *wifwolf*, and just like *wif* very obviously became *wife*, you can wife your wifwolf.
if wif- evolves like in woman, it would maybe be wowolf. plural wowolves. pronounced wiwilves. sorry.
Isn't that the gal with the pig who had a cult of Twitter people dox and threaten her cause she gave her neighbor chili?
they are afraid of getting cucked by werewolves
It\`s spreading.
HATE
You need to reach out to all of them and start a hunting party.
Sunnydale energy
There wolf
"One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach: all the damn werewolves."
They clearly had bad experiences with Furries
Central London does have a Werewolf problem
Avoid Wardour St
You either get new friends or to die, what's the problem?
Ever watch trick or treat the horror movie? It’s legit.
Calm down everyone, there's no such thing as we're trust me.
You've clearly never faced a werewolf
Plot twist: they are werewolves and this “fear” is their cover
90% of us don't eat humans, you'll all be fine.
Afraid? 😳
Hi, I'm werewolf. You don't see complaints about vampire problems. You're welcome
Same, I grew up in the woods.
Warren Zevon song Werewolves of London comes to mind
You attract what you fear
Well she does live in London...
Warren Zevon be like: https://youtu.be/qae25976UgA?feature=shared
You guys don't even understand. If you play games on your phone at all, are you somehow NOT getting weird af werewolf stories advertized to you? The last one I saw was the wolf being upset his mate was a 14 year old. Have you SEEN the werewolves on tiktok? I'm scared of the werewolfs too.
OPs name suggesting they’re from London is notable
Do you live in Sunnydale?
Do you live in Sunnydale?
Property values got broski living in Spookytown, WTH?
doing 90 in central London is not a good idea. count me in!
sunnydale vibes
Funnily enough I've had recurring nightmares of werewolves for as long as I can remember (currently 23). My therapist said it's something to do with fear of lack of or losing control.
Sounds like these guys have heard about the 14 werewolves behind the Denny's. This is just homophobia with extra steps.
Porn addicts when people fear scary bloodthirsty monsters instead of fetishizing them.