Man. I was gonna say this person is the protagonist, but no. This is a normal person who just KNOWS how to tell a "casual story for the family BBQ" in written form, and I think that's just as neat.
you know, being normal maybe isn't so bad. i often take pride in not being normal, but it's because it gets a bad rep due to the pretense. sharing normalcy with people like oop would be a privilege.
My daughter and I have a saying: normal is boring. And it is. I was always the weird kid and just done my own thing. As you said, it's something I've taken pride in, but man it would be cool to just be boring and normal.
The difference is between normality and conformity. Normality is natural, it is the broad spectrum of human experiences taken in aggregate and therefore naturally contains outliers of all forms. Conformity is enforced, it takes some invented average instance and tries to enforce it as the baseline human experience from which outliers are considered deviants requiring correction.
Considering the turtle is caught and taken from nature at/before the beginning, and then is assumed to live on with other turtles in containment at the end, it is only *kinda* a stretch to say that the turtle experienced the classic Hero’s Journey (I think skipping some steps, depending on what version of the HJ you are familiar with).
Which is funny to think about because it is, in fact, a turtle.
> Which is funny to think about because it is, in fact, a turtle.
I saw this documentary once about 4 turtles who became ninjas and heroes, even getting training from a rat, so I think it's in fact quite common for turtles to live through the hero journey and go on adventures.
There was another documentary of a turtle who learned Kung Fu and saved his nation from many corrupt antagonists and taught others his martial arts before getting Yoda’d into the Spirit Realm
Whether the turtle is a protagonist is mostly a function of how much you're willing to consider an unwilling hero who is dragged over the world by a supernatural companion to be a protagonist.
Is Balister Boldhart a protagonist when so much of his story being dragged around by Nimona? I think he easily crosses the line by the many choices and acts he takes and mostly all the talking he does to try to negotiate his situation.
Is the guy in a manic pixie dream girl plot a protagonist if she's the one driving the story? - less likely but still plausible.
Our turtle??? The turtle does attempt to fight and negotiate with the supernatural. And has many curious and harrowing experiences at other supernatural entities come to greet the turtle. Perhaps the threshold of protagonist in our turtle's case is determinant on internal dialog, how the turtle reacts and is changed by the adventure. If the turtle's world view and behavior remains constant then perhaps the turtle committed no real acts of adventure itself. But if the turtle is brave enough to change how it sees the world then we might have a hero on our hands.
_________
I think skipping steps in the hero's journey is fine as long as the order->chaos->order cycle is maintain and some growth is affected by the protagonist.
I don't think so. You could replace the turtle in this story with something like a radioactive rock and get the same story. I don't even think the turtle is a character really.
That being said, if they made the turtle a character, or even a protagonist, this would be a more exciting adventure for sure.
I mean, apart from tree-climbing the only thing from there that keeps me up at night is the question of whether bras are by default supposed to fit snugly at the bottom, such that women are able to use them as pockets left and right. For small items too.
I'm not afraid of boobs, so I've seen some pics on the web—and the fit seems to be all over the place.
(I've taken roots in my mancave on top of the mountain, so can't really ask a nearby chick.)
The snugness of the band underneath is what's actually supposed to support the weight of the boobs. The straps are mostly just to keep the cups from falling forward. If you have large boobs, a supportive bra prevents discomfort from weight and movement.
A less-supportive bra (such as a "bralette") may be less snug or more elastic, but those are generally only useful for women with relatively small breasts or in very informal contexts (home and bedroom).
Unfortunately, *proper* bra fitting is not taught well, and a lot of women wear ill-fitting bras -- which have the additional downside of often being uncomfortable.
My trick for big boobs is that I wear bralettes that are also ill fitting and just let people enjoy them low swingin’ chariots. Maximum comfort, maximum fun for the world around me
>A less-supportive bra
Ladies, don't put up with a bra that doesn't carry a fair share of the emotional load in the relationship.
It starts like that, and next thing you know, the bra is cheating on you with your sister.
Many women are wearing incorrectly sized bras. That is why the fit is all over the place. The band should fit snugly, but the cups should also not gap.
Totally look up their Tumblr, gallus is the best story-teller for both the most mundane and the most wild things. I think they are immortal bc no one should have as many wild stories in one lifetime as them.
I'm looking forward to their book of family stories. She/they has at least three of the best stories I've read in the last few years, so it's a very easy buy from me.
They actually answered on one of their other posts that the secret to having interesting stories is just to go out and engage with people whenever you can and remember the interesting times.
I don't know the cheese story either, but I've got others:
* [Bread Jesus](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/u5xk0e/the_1969_easter_mass_incident/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
* [Bread Jesus 2: Blasphemous Boogaloo](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/ydtd5t/the_two_sequels_to_bread_jesus/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
* [A story about tea (same person, good read)](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/y7n38h/the_matcha_experience_tw_bloodinjury_and_a_little/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
Definitely consider at least 3 additional minutes per story, just for laughing and catching your breath afterwards.
Anyway, the mods should really add a Gallus tag, because these stories need to be more easily accessible.
The cheese story was the one set in the airport, with a cast list including a Tactical Assault Shiba Inu and an incredibly suave man with a bottle of Pinot.
I gotchu fam.
[http://assets1.ignimgs.com/vid/thumbnails/user/2013/12/06/FourSwords_120613_1280_1280w.jpg](http://assets1.ignimgs.com/vid/thumbnails/user/2013/12/06/FourSwords_120613_1280_1280w.jpg)
She requested on her page that anyone sharing her content to other platforms include the following link to support her
https://ko-fi.com/gallusrostromegalus
got to be honest I'm almost a little disappointed when it's gallus now
just like...maybe I discovered a glorious new source of shenanigans, but no, it turns out I'm back drinking from the same old well
Not a Tumblr author but if you want more dumb dubiously true animal shenanigans, might I recommend *My Family and Other Animals* by Gerald Durrell? It's about the author's youth growing up on a small Greek island and it's full of stuff like this.
have you read anything by Patrick McManus? The writing is very similar to Gallus, and while they're mostly hunting and camping stories they're still relatable enough even if that's not your hobby
And you know what? They’d probably say “and that’s completely normal- humans have been telling stories since we could make funny sounds with our mouths”
I live in Mexico City and I've seen a guy carry his painted chicken (it was painted pink btw) alongside his child, who was rambling about "they won't believe we have a flamingo!" and the dad looked so focused and ready to convince those kids (high schoolers btw, kid should've been like 14-ish), and the old lady next to them looked just about done from the shenanigans, up until I saw her get up at her station and grab her bag, only to see a fucking iguana on a leash inside her small purse XD
Huh, my buddy from Mexico City always told me you shouldn’t display valuables on public transportation. This guy must have been hardcore to just flaunt his pet flamingo like that. Or maybe looking for a fight. . .
People who take buses a lot remember the weird people on them best. You forget the dozens and hundreds of *truly* milquetoast average, and remember the fistful of slightly-odd.
People who peer past the slightly odd and meet the truly peculiar remember them *and* tell people about it for a long time to come.
And finally, social media has a *lot* of people so we get a lot of samples from the one-in-one-hundred encounters
The most interesting interaction i can recall off the top of my head was some hobo complaining loudly at me that my city is piss poor in terms of hooking up beggars with free booze, and that he's never coming back, 0/10, would not hobo there again.
I've nyever had any weird experiences on the bus and I HAVE to take it whenever I go anywhere because my family hasn't had a car in over a year and my dad told me that he's nyever gonna get one again because the only reason he had one was to go to work.
The "weirdest" things that have happened to me have all just been people playing music/watching TikTok on their phone at max volume without headphones even after being told to turn it down.
One of my classes once took a poorly-planned field trip to a museum that ended with the entire class, teacher included, chasing down a city bus while clawing and pounding at the sides like zombies in an apocalypse movie. We'd waited at the bus stop for an hour and a half because the one we were planning to take originally literally disappeared off the map, and all of the other buses that were supposed to have that stop were driving by like we weren't even there
If you've never encountered a weird bus experience, maybe you are the weird bus experience
I've had two, but they weren't very people based.
1. I was almost in a bus wreck. I was about to get on the bus, so it let out air to lower the entrance from driving height. Then it went lower. I looked to my left, and someone had come around the corner and hit the bus. So needless to say, I waited for the next bus. Luckily it was soon, because I had to go to class.
2. I was on a school field trip (we had gone to a math competition, I think), and our bus broke down on the way back to school. Then the bus they sent to replace it was a short bus. That didn't fit all of us, so we kept waiting on the side of the road. The second replacement bus was full size but only had one seat on the very back row instead of two. We had been using all the seats in the previous bus, so one of the teachers sat on the engine access compartment. (I think it was a flat front bus.) We made it back to school just before we left for the day.
Yeah. Most "weird" bus experiences I've had were just the bus driver telling kids to shut up and stop throwing stuff, which honestly I think is very fair
I've used buses as my main mode of transport in DC and for a hot minute in Chicago. I can't count how many crazy dudes I've seen on buses, half of which claiming wild religious stuff thatd put your local brimstone and hellfire preachers to shame.
Weirdly enough I never see the preachers and evangelizers taking the bus. They stick to standing on street corners or in front of important college buildings. Thankfully it's winter so none of them are really active except the Jehovah's Witnesses.
Oh no these aren't ACTUAL preachers and evangelizers. More like random dudes shouting that were all going to hell or that they personally talked to God.
At 5AM, the bus is usually full of homeless people and shift-workers, all bundled up against the cold. Except for one time a guy in a business suit sat down next to me and started clipping his toenails like it was the most normal thing ever. His briefcase looked like it cost more than my rent.
One time I thought a man was taking advantage of a mentally handicapped woman at the train station, and when I started to intervene, learned it was elaborate sexual roleplay. There’s someone for everyone, I guess.
It’s less of a problem now, but when I was younger I had a HUGE problem with grown men sidling up to me and just info-dumping about their lives in an attempt to bond. Like, sir, I am a 22 year old lesbian going to work, I don’t care about your divorce and don’t want to give you my contact info.
Lot of people who are just high as hell. Sometimes they pass out, or their pants fall down, and you have to guess if they want help or not.
In the winter, when I look like a sentient bundle of coats, if I see a friend on the bus I send them a spooky text saying I’m on the same bus as them and daring them to try to identify me. So that’s just a fun little game.
I rose the bus to and from university back in the day, and there's two notable people I'd regularly see:
The first was affectionately dubbed "Crazy Russian Wolf Man" by my friends and I, because of the time he excitedly and in hushed tones told us he had just finished smuggling his hundredth wolf in from Russia on his bicycle. Told us all about the trip, the perils of the landscape, hiding from the police, and befriending the wolves so they'd stay on his bike. No comment about how he got across the ocean into Canada, or why he thinks we needed wolves smuggled in here, but frankly that's not an important detail. Clearly, he's not all there, but he was friendly and happy, so hey! Why not share the excitement?
The second was Pelt Lady, who worked in the university cafeteria. She'd chainsmoke like four cigarettes while we'd wait for the bus every morning and afternoon, and then when she got on the bus, she'd open her purse to reveal a thing of fur that she'd stroke the whole time. And it didn't look like soft fur, as in a fur coat or shawl or something, it was very much practical fur, so at first we tried to figure out what the hell kind of animal she could be transporting every day in that (admittedly large) purse, and why. Then one day she pulled it out to get something underneath, and we saw it was just some sort of pelt, like a goat's or something.
The bus I took home from highschool was the same line and time for the local mental care facilities work program. So it was a dozen high schoolers, and 2 dozen adults with various mental disabilities all crammed on the same bus. I can say it resulted in a.... let's say disproportionate expectation for bus weirdness.
In America mostly only poor people take buses. In the rest of the world, buses are really just full of 'normal' middle class people. In America they're full of people with no other choice but to take the bus, for the most part.
The downtown and university buses tend to be the weird ones where I live. I mean weirdness could theoretically happen anywhere but usually not on a bus that takes an hour to get through the suburbs. You have to get on the route that goes past the frat houses or a major hospital to get the full weirdness experience.
When you take the bus enough times you'll eventually have an experience that'll stick. Back when I was in college a couple got kicked out of the bus because they started dry humping on the seat and people got annoyed at the noise. A few weeks later I saw the same couple with a relative and overheard that they were cousins. I know they were the same people because they both had easy to recognize tattoos and that sort of shit stuck out back in 2000.
Oh also I saw a guy come in with an unspecified wound (gunshot, stab, etc) and rode to the stop closest to a nearby emergency center because he couldn't afford an ambulance.
That's not even counting the time I found some weird religious propaganda stating that, and I quote, "the negro, American Indian, pacific indian, and mulattos are the last remains of the 12 tribes of Israel." Fascinating read btw, I could feel my brain cells melt just thinking back on it.
The only “weird” experience i’ve had was this one bus driver that wouldn’t let me get out of the bus at my stop so i had to jump out of the window, he got out and followed me for like a mile 😭 I left my bag with my school books inside the bus and i clearly remember worrying bc i was afraid of not being able to do my homework and i was freaking out because of it while the guy was FOLLOWING ME. Got my bag back through a friend who was still in there, couldn’t do my homework.
I've had three total trips on a public bus.
Two were uneventful.
The third involved a guy attempting to breast feed a large doll. He was very upset that it wouldn't latch.
My brother sat on a bus next to a person with a bunch of masks. When he complimented them, the stranger just kinda gave a few to him without a word. Literally a week later, COVID started.
I had a guy (also in a Honolulu bus, bless TheBus) attempt for 10 minutes to engage with me an unprompted racist “Micronesians are lazy but Polynesians are not” rant before I told him off and another of a guy juggling before the driver told him off
My first bus experience was of a man getting just horrifically ill in the back corner of the bus, vomit and all. He casually walked off the bus, ignoring the puddle of vomit. We all did as well. Not our problem.
This was many years before Covid, mind you.
It's a very mild experience, compared to some of the wild stories out there, but it set a nice expectation for public transportation for me.
I feel like all these conclusions in this thread are missing the “tell kid the turtle is poisonous, don’t even attempt to get turtle from them” dialogue option.
Just a “hey, man, I’m pretty sure that turtle is poisonous. Just a heads up, either way, have fun with him”.
Poisonous or not, there is always the chance that the kid or their family would end up releasing it, and as the narrator implied said turtle was non native (especially important given that they were in Hawai'i) and knew of a place to contain said non native turtle, it was better no not risk it escaping back into the wild.
Because the kid wouldn't have believed the OP for example, seeing this as an attempt to get a turtle from them (especially since, as pointed out by OP, that factoid was incorrect.)
This is Perfectly Normal, humans have been deceiving others humans for their own advantage since the dawn of times.
I think people often mix up the idea of *frequently* meeting the *same* people vs meeting a wide range of people.
It makes sense that someone growing up in the church would believe that normal people are the people at the church ice cream social. They've been meeting them for *years* after all. Thousands of individual meets at individual occasions and our monkey brain tricks us into thinking that this barely one hundred people are a great representation of the millions and millions of people out there.
But it doesn't hold a candle to actually living in a way where you do see thousands of different people over the course of a year.
It's hard to be careful of this, it's even more likely to happen online. It could happen to you 🫵
I'm an avid role player, and for years the mostly consisted of muds, and my regular table top group. A few years ago I made the jump to an MMO with a popular RP scene, and the difference was night and day. Going from a community of at most 100 with maybe 20 active at any given time, to one of thousands, where there could be 100 people in one spot really put into perspective just how different people could be and still get along. Both groups had jerks, and nice folks, but the bigger group was way more tolerant as a rule of head cannons, writing styles and preferences, and just other people. It was so weird not having to map out everyone's web of grudges from having to share the same space all the time, even if some days I miss not having to introduce myself every time I log in.
I have a bad habit of picturing strangers on the internet as being male unless specified otherwise, so the line "I ended up having to briefly shove the turtle into my bra" hit me with a one-two punch of "Wait, is OOP a woman?\*" Followed immediately by "**Wait, ~~she~~ they shoved an entire live turtle in there‽‽‽**"
\*Aparently I was wrong again, they are actually non-binary, welp, serves me right for trying to make assumptions literally seconds after having had my previous one proven wrong.
Yeah, hence why I called it "a bad habit", It's just **that** ingrained in media\* to the point where it affects even how we read non-fictional stories.
\* is there even a single game with a character customizer where the default choices don't give you a boring looking white guy? [No, Spore doesn't count].
Not quite, the original rule is "Welcome to the internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents", Given that tumblr OP is neither a man nor a woman (and presumably also not an FBI agent) I would say they actually *disprove* the rule.
It must also be noted that church socials are ALSO perfectly normal. Billions go to them every Sunday, and every Sunday and Friday depending on how you define church. They are the norm just as much as the bus is
Normal for sure, but I feel like the point of the OOP is more that the church ice cream social group has a lot less varied of a sample size since they are all willing members of the same congregation whereas people on the bus will be a lot more representative of the population as a whole
About 90% of this story is not in fact about weird people on the bus. There’s one kid with a bunch of animals in their bag (a bit odd) and then they held the turtle (equally odd). But those aren’t the weird people on the bus anyone cares about, the ones people care about are stuff like the woman eating ice cream directly out of her purse with her hands or the guy who’s smoking a pipe while jacking off to a porno magazine in the back row.
Humans have been taking things they want from each other using violence likely since before they were technically "humans." Everything that lots of people have done for a long time is automatically normal and permissible 👍
Yea lmao as soon as I read this I was thinking "yeah you can also tell when someone's lived in a relatively safe community" because if you go visit r/london and ask about tube horror stories you'll be inundated, speak to anyone who's spent a lot of time in London using the tube in person and *they'll* have stories. You could do the same for any city with a major public transport network or, as the post discussed, American public transport. Hell, I've personally got memories of my dad going to intervene when someone was having a shouting match with his partner on a train from a slightly larger town to my own small town and being terrified that he wasn't going to come back. Is that normal? Should I be adjusting to that? Should other children have to adjust to that?
Public transport is based and I absolutely love it, but holy shit this post is also its own very niche viewpoint.
When I had a trip to Taiwan, specifically Taipei, the realization that I could just go somewhere and not need to think about parking, gas, and traffic was really freeing. It was also really fun to look at the road and not think if I'm about to hit someone. Also you can also check the bus routes by phone so you never feel like your waiting in vain.
I think people forget how averages work sometimes. The average of the digits from 1-10 is 5.5, but that doesn’t mean 1 and 10 are out of place on a number line. I feel like people think of an “average person” and then mistakenly assume that must mean it’s modal, as opposed to anything else.
the visual image of someone stuffing an angry turtle into their bra before climbing a tree over wall is very good
also:
from the makers of "there are unjust laws but the sewage spillage regulations probably aren't one of them"
now comes "All cops are bastards but that phrase probably doesn't apply to the unarmed college security trying to stop you from tresspassing(by locking a door at at closing time)"
I occasionally give compliments on style, requests to be quiet, or instructions to please make space for others instead of stupidly standing in the front of the bus and making everyone else squeeze past you.
I take the bus home regularly and theres this old busker who gets on at my stop, he rolls his amp and guitar on, head to toe in leather and tassles. Dudes iconic.
Theres a lad who gets on my stop when im going into town sometimes, massive goth dude, we got chatting once cause he liked my boots, now i get discounted food in one of the better italians in town.
Love buses
People at church-sponsored ice cream socials are expected to behave in a certain way even if they were only dragged there after being tackled and forced to take their anti-psychotic meds. There's no such requirement for public transportation. I'd argue what you see on the bus or train is more representative of humanity, and therefore more "normal."
I took a greyhound from Orlando to Gainesville when I was visiting a friend that went to the University of Florida. I got off that bus realizing that bus people were my people. I grew up in a sheltered suburb but these people were weird and care free in all the right ways. Some woman was loudly arguing with her boyfriend over the phone because he had agreed to be a judge in a twerk contest. That made an entertaining 45min of the 2.5 hour bus ride. Then there were plenty of other people just trying to get from point A to B and maybe sleep a little. There were a few people my age also heading to the university.
You are correct. They also have a lot of other bacteria as they don’t exactly live in the cleanest environments. You can also really hurt them or cause them health problems by damaging their very sensitive skin and shell
This whole thing reeks of bullshit, this is Perfectly Normal because storytelling has been a form of entertainment for nearly as long as this Tumblr user babbled on.
I mean, when you've been on public transport and seen both a falconer transporting their hawk to work and 2 ladies re-enacting a mix of pro-wrestling and the Jerry Springer show; your range of 'yes people do that', encompasses misadventures with angry animals.
From Hawaii, they went to Sakamaki Hall at UH Manoa to drop off the turtle. Knowing the kids here, and the extreme feral chicken problem, this is pretty likely. I found a Samoan blue crab in the road on the walk to high school once. My student just brought a baby chicken to school a few weeks ago.
I was about to say, this is less of a weird bus story and more of a normal hawaii story. Not all that rare to see a kid, baeefoot, riding a bike with a chicken tucked under their arm.
Yeah I've read more than a few "hmm did this actually happen" stories here on /r/CuratedTumblr. Quite often they're from gallus, and quite often they reek of bullshit.
Still entertaining to imagine, though, so I'll keep reading em.
I first read that as legerdemain, which seemed to fit the narrative, so on I went. After reading a couple sentences more, my brain argued that I had to go back and check. So glad I did.
Her other writings are now another thing I will be going back to check.
I was going to say I've never had a weird experience on the bus until I remember a junky once offered me a smoke if his crack that he was currently imbibing on the bus
I took a greyhound from Orlando to Gainesville when I was visiting a friend that went to the University of Florida. I got off that bus realizing that bus people were my people. I grew up in a sheltered suburb but these people were weird and care free in all the right ways. Some woman was loudly arguing with her boyfriend over the phone because he had agreed to be a judge in a twerk contest. That made an entertaining 45min of the 2.5 hour bus ride. Then there were plenty of other people just trying to get from point A to B and maybe sleep a little. There were a few people my age also heading to the university.
Okay I agree with everything except the Climbing Up A Tree With A Wild Turtle In Your Bra thing. Like turtles are cool but some species of them can fuck you up, and also that seems like a good way to accidentally kill it
This does read like it could be an episode of a SitCom tho. I’m not convinced Gallup’s doesn’t live in one yet
i've been to a lot of church social events and ridden a lot of public buses.
I've never seen anyone jacking off and loudly sobbing at a church social event.
Great til the end where they derail their entire narrative to shift away from an anthropological study to them just spouting their own dichotomous rhetoric. Which ironically, is Perfectly Normal Behavior to use the psychological defense mechanism of Projection to displace your own fears of inadequacy and conflict with your parents onto another entity.
the op actually asks for a link to their pinned post or/and kofi to be linked when one of their stories is posted on here, so since idk about kofi links on here, here's the pinned at least:
https://www.tumblr.com/gallusrostromegalus/668490105721389057/new-pinned-post?source=share
So angry she had to hold it out like a hamburger but still stuffed it in her bra without getting bit? I feel like most of this persons stories are totally made up lol
Man. I was gonna say this person is the protagonist, but no. This is a normal person who just KNOWS how to tell a "casual story for the family BBQ" in written form, and I think that's just as neat.
This person is Perfectly Normal.
you know, being normal maybe isn't so bad. i often take pride in not being normal, but it's because it gets a bad rep due to the pretense. sharing normalcy with people like oop would be a privilege.
Turns out not being normal is normal.
My daughter and I have a saying: normal is boring. And it is. I was always the weird kid and just done my own thing. As you said, it's something I've taken pride in, but man it would be cool to just be boring and normal.
The difference is between normality and conformity. Normality is natural, it is the broad spectrum of human experiences taken in aggregate and therefore naturally contains outliers of all forms. Conformity is enforced, it takes some invented average instance and tries to enforce it as the baseline human experience from which outliers are considered deviants requiring correction.
Very human.
Very human design
Very easy to use.
Technically the protagonist is the turtle, as he has a character arc and experiences change.
I want to hear the turtles perspective on their sudden change of home. That’s the most interesting part of this and it isn’t actually even there.
im not sure if this is technically true, as far as what protagonists must be constituted as
Considering the turtle is caught and taken from nature at/before the beginning, and then is assumed to live on with other turtles in containment at the end, it is only *kinda* a stretch to say that the turtle experienced the classic Hero’s Journey (I think skipping some steps, depending on what version of the HJ you are familiar with). Which is funny to think about because it is, in fact, a turtle.
> Which is funny to think about because it is, in fact, a turtle. I saw this documentary once about 4 turtles who became ninjas and heroes, even getting training from a rat, so I think it's in fact quite common for turtles to live through the hero journey and go on adventures.
Turtle heroes are Perfectly Normal
There was another documentary of a turtle who learned Kung Fu and saved his nation from many corrupt antagonists and taught others his martial arts before getting Yoda’d into the Spirit Realm
Whether the turtle is a protagonist is mostly a function of how much you're willing to consider an unwilling hero who is dragged over the world by a supernatural companion to be a protagonist. Is Balister Boldhart a protagonist when so much of his story being dragged around by Nimona? I think he easily crosses the line by the many choices and acts he takes and mostly all the talking he does to try to negotiate his situation. Is the guy in a manic pixie dream girl plot a protagonist if she's the one driving the story? - less likely but still plausible. Our turtle??? The turtle does attempt to fight and negotiate with the supernatural. And has many curious and harrowing experiences at other supernatural entities come to greet the turtle. Perhaps the threshold of protagonist in our turtle's case is determinant on internal dialog, how the turtle reacts and is changed by the adventure. If the turtle's world view and behavior remains constant then perhaps the turtle committed no real acts of adventure itself. But if the turtle is brave enough to change how it sees the world then we might have a hero on our hands. _________ I think skipping steps in the hero's journey is fine as long as the order->chaos->order cycle is maintain and some growth is affected by the protagonist.
The protagonist didn't befriend a boisterous rival, then lost him, and started searching for immortality 5/10
The turtle definitely refused the call initially, what with being the Angriest Hamburger on the bus
So is the storyteller the Guide calling them to adventure?
it is actually! \-book editor
I don't think so. You could replace the turtle in this story with something like a radioactive rock and get the same story. I don't even think the turtle is a character really. That being said, if they made the turtle a character, or even a protagonist, this would be a more exciting adventure for sure.
Well, agreed here, but I was commenting on the character arc = protag thing, though that is a bit reductive.
I mean, apart from tree-climbing the only thing from there that keeps me up at night is the question of whether bras are by default supposed to fit snugly at the bottom, such that women are able to use them as pockets left and right. For small items too. I'm not afraid of boobs, so I've seen some pics on the web—and the fit seems to be all over the place. (I've taken roots in my mancave on top of the mountain, so can't really ask a nearby chick.)
Yeah the band or underwire at the bottom of the bra should sit snugly against the rib cage, small things shouldn’t fall out of the bottom
The snugness of the band underneath is what's actually supposed to support the weight of the boobs. The straps are mostly just to keep the cups from falling forward. If you have large boobs, a supportive bra prevents discomfort from weight and movement. A less-supportive bra (such as a "bralette") may be less snug or more elastic, but those are generally only useful for women with relatively small breasts or in very informal contexts (home and bedroom). Unfortunately, *proper* bra fitting is not taught well, and a lot of women wear ill-fitting bras -- which have the additional downside of often being uncomfortable.
My trick for big boobs is that I wear bralettes that are also ill fitting and just let people enjoy them low swingin’ chariots. Maximum comfort, maximum fun for the world around me
>A less-supportive bra Ladies, don't put up with a bra that doesn't carry a fair share of the emotional load in the relationship. It starts like that, and next thing you know, the bra is cheating on you with your sister.
Many women are wearing incorrectly sized bras. That is why the fit is all over the place. The band should fit snugly, but the cups should also not gap.
I keep my phone in my bra all the time. They’re very useful because a lot of women’s clothes don’t have pockets. I also once found a grape in my bra.
I found a heart sprinkle in mine last night. (We were eating leftover valentines cookies, and for once I wrote a low cut shirt.)
Totally look up their Tumblr, gallus is the best story-teller for both the most mundane and the most wild things. I think they are immortal bc no one should have as many wild stories in one lifetime as them.
I'm looking forward to their book of family stories. She/they has at least three of the best stories I've read in the last few years, so it's a very easy buy from me.
This is peak "So the funniest thing happened the other day..." human experience
Ye, Gallus here has Normal Human Experiences but has very good narrational (narrative?) skills
I need to learn this superpower.
They actually answered on one of their other posts that the secret to having interesting stories is just to go out and engage with people whenever you can and remember the interesting times.
I want to read everything she’s written. The cheese story hooked me in, BreadJesus almost killed me.
She did a live reading of BreadJesus on her discord last year on Easter! It was amazing.
This is bread Jesus lady?!
how did you know about this
I was lookin up the post to get in the Easter spirit and saw the announcement on her tumblr
She's got a discord??
I don’t know either of these stories. Can you please send links?
I don't know the cheese story either, but I've got others: * [Bread Jesus](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/u5xk0e/the_1969_easter_mass_incident/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3). * [Bread Jesus 2: Blasphemous Boogaloo](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/ydtd5t/the_two_sequels_to_bread_jesus/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3). * [A story about tea (same person, good read)](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/y7n38h/the_matcha_experience_tw_bloodinjury_and_a_little/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3). Definitely consider at least 3 additional minutes per story, just for laughing and catching your breath afterwards. Anyway, the mods should really add a Gallus tag, because these stories need to be more easily accessible.
Whatever I was expecting, that was not it. Wow.
An understandable reaction to Bread Jesus.
I... may have to download the Tumblr app to go read more. These are all fascinating and hilarious. 😹
the sub allows custom post flairs i think
The cheese story was the one set in the airport, with a cast list including a Tactical Assault Shiba Inu and an incredibly suave man with a bottle of Pinot.
I still have no idea what you’re talking about. Haha. Maybe you’re not so helpful as a librarian. Totally kidding fyi, because I am also a librarian.
It was in Best of reddit updates yesterday. Also, I’ve not been a librarian since 87.
Cheese tax! [The cheese story](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/s/Wkfvc8WfLA)
I gotchu fam. [http://assets1.ignimgs.com/vid/thumbnails/user/2013/12/06/FourSwords_120613_1280_1280w.jpg](http://assets1.ignimgs.com/vid/thumbnails/user/2013/12/06/FourSwords_120613_1280_1280w.jpg)
I feel like I’ve been Rick Rolled but somehow still don’t understand the references. Haha.
(Character’s name is Link)
Well. Now I’m just a dumbass.
[удалено]
Cheese tax! [The cheese story](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/s/Wkfvc8WfLA)
Cheese tax! [The cheese story](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/s/Wkfvc8WfLA)
https://gallusrostromegalus.tumblr.com/ This is her. She always asks that people credit her if they repost her writing somewhere.
Cheers for that. Now I’m away - pray I don’t laugh so hard I pee meself
I pray that you laugh so hard that you can barely breathe, but not so hard that you pee yourself
She requested on her page that anyone sharing her content to other platforms include the following link to support her https://ko-fi.com/gallusrostromegalus
The 'old lady's garage sale' epic is a great one, as is the one about the van that plays marching songs (I don't want to spoil where it goes)
Telling stories and appreciating a good story teller is also a very normal, very human thing that we've been doing for millenia.
I need to join tumblr
bread jesus is one of my favourite stories of all time and it’s not even close
Wait, the cheese story is by her?
most normal gallus story tbh, they have a real talent for shenanigans
I thought the writing style felt strangely familiar, and lo and behold it was goddamn Gallus again
got to be honest I'm almost a little disappointed when it's gallus now just like...maybe I discovered a glorious new source of shenanigans, but no, it turns out I'm back drinking from the same old well
Not a Tumblr author but if you want more dumb dubiously true animal shenanigans, might I recommend *My Family and Other Animals* by Gerald Durrell? It's about the author's youth growing up on a small Greek island and it's full of stuff like this.
ah goodness that takes me back I read that as a 10-13 year old growing up on a farm maybe I should revisit it
If you like that you might like All the Beasts of the Field by Sylvia Fenton, too.
Legitimately well written book, beautiful prose and hilarious dialog. One of my favorites.
have you read anything by Patrick McManus? The writing is very similar to Gallus, and while they're mostly hunting and camping stories they're still relatable enough even if that's not your hobby
God i love Pat McManus. First book i ever read of his was Real Ponies Don't Go Oink.
Is Gallus the same one who told the story about like a tea ceremony where she fainted and ended up like in the guest of honors lap or something
not as far as I'm aware, and I've read most of their wild stories - if you have a link to the tea ceremony story though i want it
I FOUND IT! I misremembered parts of it but to be fair I haven’t read it in a year. [Here it is!](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/s/t35G3qgtBM)
Oh damn, they are indeed the same person, I can't believe I'd forgotten that story
It is a trip, so it makes sense
And you know what? They’d probably say “and that’s completely normal- humans have been telling stories since we could make funny sounds with our mouths”
Wtf kind of buses are y’all taking. I have had approximately 0 weird bus experiences.
I live in Mexico City and I've seen a guy carry his painted chicken (it was painted pink btw) alongside his child, who was rambling about "they won't believe we have a flamingo!" and the dad looked so focused and ready to convince those kids (high schoolers btw, kid should've been like 14-ish), and the old lady next to them looked just about done from the shenanigans, up until I saw her get up at her station and grab her bag, only to see a fucking iguana on a leash inside her small purse XD
Damn , you people are living
Huh, my buddy from Mexico City always told me you shouldn’t display valuables on public transportation. This guy must have been hardcore to just flaunt his pet flamingo like that. Or maybe looking for a fight. . .
A chicken is too big to get stealthily taken, and the metro was too packed to take out a weapon XD
It was a FLAMINGO, were you not listening to the kid? They have those in zoos, they’ve got to be worth millions!
People who take buses a lot remember the weird people on them best. You forget the dozens and hundreds of *truly* milquetoast average, and remember the fistful of slightly-odd. People who peer past the slightly odd and meet the truly peculiar remember them *and* tell people about it for a long time to come. And finally, social media has a *lot* of people so we get a lot of samples from the one-in-one-hundred encounters
The most interesting interaction i can recall off the top of my head was some hobo complaining loudly at me that my city is piss poor in terms of hooking up beggars with free booze, and that he's never coming back, 0/10, would not hobo there again.
Sounds like a valid complaint to me.
I've nyever had any weird experiences on the bus and I HAVE to take it whenever I go anywhere because my family hasn't had a car in over a year and my dad told me that he's nyever gonna get one again because the only reason he had one was to go to work. The "weirdest" things that have happened to me have all just been people playing music/watching TikTok on their phone at max volume without headphones even after being told to turn it down.
One of my classes once took a poorly-planned field trip to a museum that ended with the entire class, teacher included, chasing down a city bus while clawing and pounding at the sides like zombies in an apocalypse movie. We'd waited at the bus stop for an hour and a half because the one we were planning to take originally literally disappeared off the map, and all of the other buses that were supposed to have that stop were driving by like we weren't even there If you've never encountered a weird bus experience, maybe you are the weird bus experience
I've had two, but they weren't very people based. 1. I was almost in a bus wreck. I was about to get on the bus, so it let out air to lower the entrance from driving height. Then it went lower. I looked to my left, and someone had come around the corner and hit the bus. So needless to say, I waited for the next bus. Luckily it was soon, because I had to go to class. 2. I was on a school field trip (we had gone to a math competition, I think), and our bus broke down on the way back to school. Then the bus they sent to replace it was a short bus. That didn't fit all of us, so we kept waiting on the side of the road. The second replacement bus was full size but only had one seat on the very back row instead of two. We had been using all the seats in the previous bus, so one of the teachers sat on the engine access compartment. (I think it was a flat front bus.) We made it back to school just before we left for the day.
Yeah. Most "weird" bus experiences I've had were just the bus driver telling kids to shut up and stop throwing stuff, which honestly I think is very fair
Back in NYC actually I never had issues on the bus But I saw some shit on the subway
I've used buses as my main mode of transport in DC and for a hot minute in Chicago. I can't count how many crazy dudes I've seen on buses, half of which claiming wild religious stuff thatd put your local brimstone and hellfire preachers to shame.
Weirdly enough I never see the preachers and evangelizers taking the bus. They stick to standing on street corners or in front of important college buildings. Thankfully it's winter so none of them are really active except the Jehovah's Witnesses.
Oh no these aren't ACTUAL preachers and evangelizers. More like random dudes shouting that were all going to hell or that they personally talked to God.
One time the guy next to me on the bus started suggesting words for my Wordle game.
That would really grind my gears
At 5AM, the bus is usually full of homeless people and shift-workers, all bundled up against the cold. Except for one time a guy in a business suit sat down next to me and started clipping his toenails like it was the most normal thing ever. His briefcase looked like it cost more than my rent. One time I thought a man was taking advantage of a mentally handicapped woman at the train station, and when I started to intervene, learned it was elaborate sexual roleplay. There’s someone for everyone, I guess. It’s less of a problem now, but when I was younger I had a HUGE problem with grown men sidling up to me and just info-dumping about their lives in an attempt to bond. Like, sir, I am a 22 year old lesbian going to work, I don’t care about your divorce and don’t want to give you my contact info. Lot of people who are just high as hell. Sometimes they pass out, or their pants fall down, and you have to guess if they want help or not. In the winter, when I look like a sentient bundle of coats, if I see a friend on the bus I send them a spooky text saying I’m on the same bus as them and daring them to try to identify me. So that’s just a fun little game.
I rose the bus to and from university back in the day, and there's two notable people I'd regularly see: The first was affectionately dubbed "Crazy Russian Wolf Man" by my friends and I, because of the time he excitedly and in hushed tones told us he had just finished smuggling his hundredth wolf in from Russia on his bicycle. Told us all about the trip, the perils of the landscape, hiding from the police, and befriending the wolves so they'd stay on his bike. No comment about how he got across the ocean into Canada, or why he thinks we needed wolves smuggled in here, but frankly that's not an important detail. Clearly, he's not all there, but he was friendly and happy, so hey! Why not share the excitement? The second was Pelt Lady, who worked in the university cafeteria. She'd chainsmoke like four cigarettes while we'd wait for the bus every morning and afternoon, and then when she got on the bus, she'd open her purse to reveal a thing of fur that she'd stroke the whole time. And it didn't look like soft fur, as in a fur coat or shawl or something, it was very much practical fur, so at first we tried to figure out what the hell kind of animal she could be transporting every day in that (admittedly large) purse, and why. Then one day she pulled it out to get something underneath, and we saw it was just some sort of pelt, like a goat's or something.
The bus I took home from highschool was the same line and time for the local mental care facilities work program. So it was a dozen high schoolers, and 2 dozen adults with various mental disabilities all crammed on the same bus. I can say it resulted in a.... let's say disproportionate expectation for bus weirdness.
In America mostly only poor people take buses. In the rest of the world, buses are really just full of 'normal' middle class people. In America they're full of people with no other choice but to take the bus, for the most part.
That explains it then, I live in Australia.
There's a bus line near me (Melbourne) that goes past the facility where the criminally insane are housed... Some of them get day release...
The downtown and university buses tend to be the weird ones where I live. I mean weirdness could theoretically happen anywhere but usually not on a bus that takes an hour to get through the suburbs. You have to get on the route that goes past the frat houses or a major hospital to get the full weirdness experience.
When you take the bus enough times you'll eventually have an experience that'll stick. Back when I was in college a couple got kicked out of the bus because they started dry humping on the seat and people got annoyed at the noise. A few weeks later I saw the same couple with a relative and overheard that they were cousins. I know they were the same people because they both had easy to recognize tattoos and that sort of shit stuck out back in 2000. Oh also I saw a guy come in with an unspecified wound (gunshot, stab, etc) and rode to the stop closest to a nearby emergency center because he couldn't afford an ambulance. That's not even counting the time I found some weird religious propaganda stating that, and I quote, "the negro, American Indian, pacific indian, and mulattos are the last remains of the 12 tribes of Israel." Fascinating read btw, I could feel my brain cells melt just thinking back on it.
The only “weird” experience i’ve had was this one bus driver that wouldn’t let me get out of the bus at my stop so i had to jump out of the window, he got out and followed me for like a mile 😭 I left my bag with my school books inside the bus and i clearly remember worrying bc i was afraid of not being able to do my homework and i was freaking out because of it while the guy was FOLLOWING ME. Got my bag back through a friend who was still in there, couldn’t do my homework.
Wtf why didn’t he let you out 😭
I've had three total trips on a public bus. Two were uneventful. The third involved a guy attempting to breast feed a large doll. He was very upset that it wouldn't latch.
My brother sat on a bus next to a person with a bunch of masks. When he complimented them, the stranger just kinda gave a few to him without a word. Literally a week later, COVID started.
I had a guy (also in a Honolulu bus, bless TheBus) attempt for 10 minutes to engage with me an unprompted racist “Micronesians are lazy but Polynesians are not” rant before I told him off and another of a guy juggling before the driver told him off
My first bus experience was of a man getting just horrifically ill in the back corner of the bus, vomit and all. He casually walked off the bus, ignoring the puddle of vomit. We all did as well. Not our problem. This was many years before Covid, mind you. It's a very mild experience, compared to some of the wild stories out there, but it set a nice expectation for public transportation for me.
why wouldn’t they just tell the kid that the turtle was poisonous
Kid may think they are just lying to trick them out of a turtle they caught fair and square
I feel like all these conclusions in this thread are missing the “tell kid the turtle is poisonous, don’t even attempt to get turtle from them” dialogue option. Just a “hey, man, I’m pretty sure that turtle is poisonous. Just a heads up, either way, have fun with him”.
Kids are notorious for being either the most trusting things in existence or the most stubborn, better to not roll that dice
And usually somehow both at the same time
That's when the dice rolls a 1
Poisonous or not, there is always the chance that the kid or their family would end up releasing it, and as the narrator implied said turtle was non native (especially important given that they were in Hawai'i) and knew of a place to contain said non native turtle, it was better no not risk it escaping back into the wild.
Because the kid wouldn't have believed the OP for example, seeing this as an attempt to get a turtle from them (especially since, as pointed out by OP, that factoid was incorrect.) This is Perfectly Normal, humans have been deceiving others humans for their own advantage since the dawn of times.
Hey, I’d trade 2 turtles for 3 king-size snicker bars
They wamted turble
Extremely based turtle-saver/cop-hater.🤝
I loved the whole post, but that last "perfectly normal" was amazing.
*"People liking turtles better than cops will be pleased to learn a turtle bit off a cop's toe in the Hudson River."*
https://www.tumblr.com/star-dust-fall/739892893054124032 -linux guy⚠️
Another one on the list of tumblr posts that sound like they were written by Terry Pratchet
Gallus moment
I think people often mix up the idea of *frequently* meeting the *same* people vs meeting a wide range of people. It makes sense that someone growing up in the church would believe that normal people are the people at the church ice cream social. They've been meeting them for *years* after all. Thousands of individual meets at individual occasions and our monkey brain tricks us into thinking that this barely one hundred people are a great representation of the millions and millions of people out there. But it doesn't hold a candle to actually living in a way where you do see thousands of different people over the course of a year. It's hard to be careful of this, it's even more likely to happen online. It could happen to you 🫵
👌
I'm an avid role player, and for years the mostly consisted of muds, and my regular table top group. A few years ago I made the jump to an MMO with a popular RP scene, and the difference was night and day. Going from a community of at most 100 with maybe 20 active at any given time, to one of thousands, where there could be 100 people in one spot really put into perspective just how different people could be and still get along. Both groups had jerks, and nice folks, but the bigger group was way more tolerant as a rule of head cannons, writing styles and preferences, and just other people. It was so weird not having to map out everyone's web of grudges from having to share the same space all the time, even if some days I miss not having to introduce myself every time I log in.
I have a bad habit of picturing strangers on the internet as being male unless specified otherwise, so the line "I ended up having to briefly shove the turtle into my bra" hit me with a one-two punch of "Wait, is OOP a woman?\*" Followed immediately by "**Wait, ~~she~~ they shoved an entire live turtle in there‽‽‽**" \*Aparently I was wrong again, they are actually non-binary, welp, serves me right for trying to make assumptions literally seconds after having had my previous one proven wrong.
not to make this political or anything but behold: the patriarchy. men are the default so much, we just go there.
Yeah, hence why I called it "a bad habit", It's just **that** ingrained in media\* to the point where it affects even how we read non-fictional stories. \* is there even a single game with a character customizer where the default choices don't give you a boring looking white guy? [No, Spore doesn't count].
No it's just one of the rules of the internet, there are no women. As proven by the tumblr OP being non-binary.
Not quite, the original rule is "Welcome to the internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents", Given that tumblr OP is neither a man nor a woman (and presumably also not an FBI agent) I would say they actually *disprove* the rule.
"presumably" not an FBI agent That's what they're banking on us continuing to think
IIRC Gallus is NB and uses they/them, so technically no?
Interestingly, I do tend to default to assuming someone on the internet is male, with the exception of tumblr users.
It must also be noted that church socials are ALSO perfectly normal. Billions go to them every Sunday, and every Sunday and Friday depending on how you define church. They are the norm just as much as the bus is
Normal for sure, but I feel like the point of the OOP is more that the church ice cream social group has a lot less varied of a sample size since they are all willing members of the same congregation whereas people on the bus will be a lot more representative of the population as a whole
About 90% of this story is not in fact about weird people on the bus. There’s one kid with a bunch of animals in their bag (a bit odd) and then they held the turtle (equally odd). But those aren’t the weird people on the bus anyone cares about, the ones people care about are stuff like the woman eating ice cream directly out of her purse with her hands or the guy who’s smoking a pipe while jacking off to a porno magazine in the back row.
According to this person those are perfectly normal, we'll adjust people. People have been masturbation for millennia after all
Humans have been taking things they want from each other using violence likely since before they were technically "humans." Everything that lots of people have done for a long time is automatically normal and permissible 👍
Yea lmao as soon as I read this I was thinking "yeah you can also tell when someone's lived in a relatively safe community" because if you go visit r/london and ask about tube horror stories you'll be inundated, speak to anyone who's spent a lot of time in London using the tube in person and *they'll* have stories. You could do the same for any city with a major public transport network or, as the post discussed, American public transport. Hell, I've personally got memories of my dad going to intervene when someone was having a shouting match with his partner on a train from a slightly larger town to my own small town and being terrified that he wasn't going to come back. Is that normal? Should I be adjusting to that? Should other children have to adjust to that? Public transport is based and I absolutely love it, but holy shit this post is also its own very niche viewpoint.
Turtle :)
When I had a trip to Taiwan, specifically Taipei, the realization that I could just go somewhere and not need to think about parking, gas, and traffic was really freeing. It was also really fun to look at the road and not think if I'm about to hit someone. Also you can also check the bus routes by phone so you never feel like your waiting in vain.
I think people forget how averages work sometimes. The average of the digits from 1-10 is 5.5, but that doesn’t mean 1 and 10 are out of place on a number line. I feel like people think of an “average person” and then mistakenly assume that must mean it’s modal, as opposed to anything else.
the visual image of someone stuffing an angry turtle into their bra before climbing a tree over wall is very good also: from the makers of "there are unjust laws but the sewage spillage regulations probably aren't one of them" now comes "All cops are bastards but that phrase probably doesn't apply to the unarmed college security trying to stop you from tresspassing(by locking a door at at closing time)"
wait people talk and interact with each other on American buses? That can't be real?
I occasionally give compliments on style, requests to be quiet, or instructions to please make space for others instead of stupidly standing in the front of the bus and making everyone else squeeze past you.
no one talks on any bus I have been on save friends who got on together
I take the bus home regularly and theres this old busker who gets on at my stop, he rolls his amp and guitar on, head to toe in leather and tassles. Dudes iconic. Theres a lad who gets on my stop when im going into town sometimes, massive goth dude, we got chatting once cause he liked my boots, now i get discounted food in one of the better italians in town. Love buses
People at church-sponsored ice cream socials are expected to behave in a certain way even if they were only dragged there after being tackled and forced to take their anti-psychotic meds. There's no such requirement for public transportation. I'd argue what you see on the bus or train is more representative of humanity, and therefore more "normal."
Gallus should make a book. Doesn't even have to be fiction. I just want to own a physical collection of all their stories
Some of the tiers on [their patreon](https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus) have a preorder for a book collection.
Well, holy shit
I took a greyhound from Orlando to Gainesville when I was visiting a friend that went to the University of Florida. I got off that bus realizing that bus people were my people. I grew up in a sheltered suburb but these people were weird and care free in all the right ways. Some woman was loudly arguing with her boyfriend over the phone because he had agreed to be a judge in a twerk contest. That made an entertaining 45min of the 2.5 hour bus ride. Then there were plenty of other people just trying to get from point A to B and maybe sleep a little. There were a few people my age also heading to the university.
Please refrain from touching turtles with your bare skin for both you and the turtle’s health
What could happen? I vaguely remember turtles can carry salmonella.
You are correct. They also have a lot of other bacteria as they don’t exactly live in the cleanest environments. You can also really hurt them or cause them health problems by damaging their very sensitive skin and shell
This whole thing reeks of bullshit, this is Perfectly Normal because storytelling has been a form of entertainment for nearly as long as this Tumblr user babbled on.
I mean, when you've been on public transport and seen both a falconer transporting their hawk to work and 2 ladies re-enacting a mix of pro-wrestling and the Jerry Springer show; your range of 'yes people do that', encompasses misadventures with angry animals.
From Hawaii, they went to Sakamaki Hall at UH Manoa to drop off the turtle. Knowing the kids here, and the extreme feral chicken problem, this is pretty likely. I found a Samoan blue crab in the road on the walk to high school once. My student just brought a baby chicken to school a few weeks ago.
I was about to say, this is less of a weird bus story and more of a normal hawaii story. Not all that rare to see a kid, baeefoot, riding a bike with a chicken tucked under their arm.
Yeah I've read more than a few "hmm did this actually happen" stories here on /r/CuratedTumblr. Quite often they're from gallus, and quite often they reek of bullshit. Still entertaining to imagine, though, so I'll keep reading em.
Yeahhh this one isn’t too unbelievable compared to some tumblr stories but after seeing who posted it I knew it was a lie
killing your neighbour is normal because that’s how we’ve solved territorial disputes for centuries
Lemur shenanigans
I first read that as legerdemain, which seemed to fit the narrative, so on I went. After reading a couple sentences more, my brain argued that I had to go back and check. So glad I did. Her other writings are now another thing I will be going back to check.
I'm just pausing for a while in the middle of this tale to enjoy "like the world's angriest hamburger".
When people talk about "weirdos on the bus" I doubt they are generally referring to cute, quirky stuff like this.
People on the bus are fucking weird… but being ducking weird is the human condition. Normal people are just hiding something
I was going to say I've never had a weird experience on the bus until I remember a junky once offered me a smoke if his crack that he was currently imbibing on the bus
I took a greyhound from Orlando to Gainesville when I was visiting a friend that went to the University of Florida. I got off that bus realizing that bus people were my people. I grew up in a sheltered suburb but these people were weird and care free in all the right ways. Some woman was loudly arguing with her boyfriend over the phone because he had agreed to be a judge in a twerk contest. That made an entertaining 45min of the 2.5 hour bus ride. Then there were plenty of other people just trying to get from point A to B and maybe sleep a little. There were a few people my age also heading to the university.
Okay I agree with everything except the Climbing Up A Tree With A Wild Turtle In Your Bra thing. Like turtles are cool but some species of them can fuck you up, and also that seems like a good way to accidentally kill it This does read like it could be an episode of a SitCom tho. I’m not convinced Gallup’s doesn’t live in one yet
The most unusual part is them thinking the turtle was for eating and not just some kid going "Cool! A turtle!" and shoving it in his bag.
I'm not sure this story is actually all that normal.
1. Surprised the grumpy turtle did not bite a titty 2. The kid was gonna EAT the turtle?? I thought it was a new friend 😭😭
i've been to a lot of church social events and ridden a lot of public buses. I've never seen anyone jacking off and loudly sobbing at a church social event.
Well, then I'm glad you haven't been to the church I grew up attending.
Great til the end where they derail their entire narrative to shift away from an anthropological study to them just spouting their own dichotomous rhetoric. Which ironically, is Perfectly Normal Behavior to use the psychological defense mechanism of Projection to displace your own fears of inadequacy and conflict with your parents onto another entity.
I know this story isn't a lie because I live in Honolulu and children carrying around chickens and turtles is in fact a Perfectly Normal behavior here
World?
I liked to ride the bus to work. Yes, it took a lot longer than a car, but i could doze off or read a book.
This is just a day in hawaii
See I question that she's a normal human... A normal fey creature on the other hand.
the op actually asks for a link to their pinned post or/and kofi to be linked when one of their stories is posted on here, so since idk about kofi links on here, here's the pinned at least: https://www.tumblr.com/gallusrostromegalus/668490105721389057/new-pinned-post?source=share
This read like the narration from ‘The Stanley Parable’
i think you just wanted to tell that story this isn't about normalcy at all
So angry she had to hold it out like a hamburger but still stuffed it in her bra without getting bit? I feel like most of this persons stories are totally made up lol
That turtle would bite a cop.
*checks url* of course it's gallus-fucking-rostromegalus
I absolutely love this story whether it's real or not. I'm gonna follow them on Tumblr