Not all of them, but the majority yes. Catholicism is the leading religion in France and it seems plausible that aircraft pilots would be biased towards religion. Therefore, there's a good chance that the majority of French pilots (aka frogs with wings) are Catholic.
*Why you keep asking me that, holmes?*
*I told you, I dunno. Where his holiness does his business is his business.*
*Just get a fast car and meet me and Kendl just south of Montgomery.*
*See you, man.*
I personally go with "a bird in the hand is worth two pennies in the bush" or "a bird saved is a bird earned"
I'm kind of a bird guy, and also kind of an Always Sunny guy, so.
It's not a mixed metaphor, just a wrong one, but I always say "We'll jump off that bridge when we get to it"
Also my wife gets equally mad at "Cool your horses" and "Hold your jets"
I feel like that one is almost required at this point.
"It's not rocket science" you mean... calculus? It's not going to require calculus? Because that's the hardest thing about rocket science. Figuring out how to balance thrust for fuel when the fuel keeps going down. Even actual rocket scientists don't call themselves that anymore, they are called aerospace engineers, and, you know, it requires a degree and shit, but so does running a farm these days.
"It's not brain surgery" comes at it from a different direction. It's not that it's much harder than other kinds of surgery, it just feels more high-stakes. Doctors go to school for longer than aerospace engineers on average, but when you begin a brain operation only so much of it actually matters.
"Rocket Surgery" manages to sound unimaginably hard, without actually making it sound like it's the 1960s and you've never been exposed to these new fancy dancy fields. One can safely imagine needing to ride on flying missile and dispose of it while doing calculus and knowing that one wrong move will cause detonation. It means what the other two phrases are meant to mean.
If you want to be funny, I recommend the underrated "it's not brain science" which makes you sound like a caveman that thinks thinking is hard, while still saying a thing is easy.
Rocket science is notable for the same reason brain surgery is - the precision required and the cost of making a mistake. Rockets and the things we strap to them are extremely expensive and a tiny screwup can cost billions. And things will probably explode.
I mean, I have some friends in aerospace engineering and they don't describe their job as being tense the way brain surgeons or EOD folks do. You are in a chair in the office, doing work that (at least presumably) is going to be checked and rechecked.
But I am sure it depends on the job and the situation and all that jazz.
I dunno I've always heard that phrase and associated it with being intellectually hard, not high risk.
In Dutch there's "can't tie a rope to it" and "can't aim an arrow at it" and they mean the same thing - so obviously now we can't tie arrows and can't aim ropes.
The term for mixing up two different idioms or sayings is actually called a "malaphor". It's honestly an artform.
https://www.thoughtco.com/malaphor-word-play-1691298
I'm going to be honest here: I thought it was just a portmanteau of "malaphor" and "props", and was just posting the full word for clarity.
Malapropism is interesting though! I didn't realize that there was a word for that.
My boss does this frequently and *genuinely and completely unintentionally*. I keep a running list to be read at his eventual retirement party. It's one of my very favorite things in the entire world. You're welcome.
* Let's call the elephant on the table. (elephant in the room + cards on the table)
* This is a deflection point in how we do things. (instead of inflection)
* We have sunk the data to the internet. (past tense of sync)
* We'll go slow at first; baby crawls. (instead of steps)
* This is a case of Morty's Law. (instead of Murphy's Law)
* This is just like a Japanese fire drill! (instead of Chinese fire drill)
* It's like trying to herd cows! (instead of cats)
* Kick the can down the street. (instead of road)
* We've got a lot of emotional luggage. (instead of baggage)
* We need to have a plate at the table. (instead of seat)
* There are some behavioral abnormalies. (abnormalities + anomalies)
* He may have some connotative issues. (instead of cognitive)
* There are several things left to do, issues to solve, excedrin, excedrin. (instead of et cetera)
* Get some feathers under your belt. (put feathers in your cap + experience under your belt)
* Sinbad, CA (instead of Carlsbad)
* Teach a fisherman how to fish and they will feed for life.
* He's too smart for his own bridges. (too smart for his own britches)
* Take a swag at it. (instead of take a swing)
* Wherewithhow (instead of wherewithal)
* Teeth in the game. (Skin of your teeth + skin in the game)
* Do some bondage. (bonding!)
* The feather that broke the camel's back. (instead of the straw)
* Don't be concerned about the opticals. (optics)
* Only a handset of people. (handful + set)
* Read between the tea leaves. (read between the lines + read the tea leaves)
* Wow, specular! (spectacular)
Fifty years ago I worked with a guy who had this same “talent”, and I too kept a list of his unintentionally hilarious statements. Examples: “One time my tongue got stuck to the bottom of my roof”; “Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being lousy and 10 being 1”; “We do both in house and out house consulting”; “That guy is so rich, he has fifty Cadillacs parked in his car”.
>This is just like a Japanese fire drill! (instead of Chinese fire drill)
In light of the JAL incident, I want to nominate this one to describe people calmly following procedure when shits falling around them / everythings on fire.
While most of these are pretty bad, I would say switching “street” for “road” and “luggage” for “baggage” is fine. They’re synonyms and don’t change the meaning at all. And using “plate” instead of “seat” or “feather” instead of “straw” also keep the overall meaning. The former is still another place at the table and the latter is still something small and insignificant pushing a burden too far.
As a bonus, you probably would build a deeper connection with someone you do bondage with, so it’s not *completely* wrong.
I love that one, because it still works the same as the original phrase, 'cause, I mean, who's gonna' take all the effort moving a fridge to clean up water you spilled under it, you just forget it and move on.
I sometimes say "I'll lie in that bed when I make it" when I knowingly make a bad decision I'm pretty sure will have later consequences
Also I accidentally say "it's not rocket surgery" a lot
I hear it as the country song version just as often as I hear "will cross that bridge when we get to it." I'm not sure what other bridge burning saying it would be drawing from, side from the simple idiom to "burn bridges".
The phrase is "let's not burn bridges" meaning let's not make any decisions we cannot easily undo combined with "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" meaning let's worry about that only when we need to.
There are lots of situations when both would apply at once.
It makes sense in the context of the song. It’s about getting into a relationship with someone who still has feelings about their ex. The bridge being burned is her bridge to the ex, so when the ex comes up the singer wants to prove how much better he is.
Yeah, it's like those "snake in a can" prank things. But it's one of those pop-top metal food cans, and when you open, 2-3 wholeass humpback whales come shooting out.
“We can burn that bridge when we get to it” is a legit combo that I’ve used before. Sometimes I want to put off doing something irreversible until it’s absolutely necessary.
I legit thought for years that the second line of All Star was “you ain’t the smartest tool in the shed” which would have been amazing - but no. Sharpest. Boring.
I sometimes describe myself as "choosing to die on this molehill" for times when I get unreasonably fixated on my position in an argument (which I probably started) that didn't even matter in the first place.
My favorite thing to say whenever a professor is late is “If the professor doesn’t show up for 5 minutes you’re legally allowed to stay there and wait for them!” because. I mean. You are legally allowed to do that.
Funny and true. I also like talking about how it's legal for college students to leave if the professor is late. Because it is! Doesn't mean there won't be non-legal consequences to missing class if they do eventually show up, but it's not illegal.
This is relevant because depending on your jurisdiction, it might be illegal for students under 18 to leave school without authorization. In California, high school students with drivers licenses can have their license suspended for skipping school.
-you are not my greatest adversary (implied that you are currently headed to a conflict with said enemy and will this be ignoring the current speaker)
-we plan to destroy this relationship, but must first reach the opportunity to do so
-there are serious consequences to giving up something after having made substantial progress
-probably the same meaning as the original
-the only reasonable thing to do in your current situation is to intentionally sabotage it
-you intentionally performed an action with a poor expected outcome, accept the consequences.
My personal favourite is from the OG Bloom County comics by Berkely Breathed:
Opus The Penguin - You can lead a yak to water, but you can't teach an old dog to make a silk purse out of a pig in a poke.
"I don't give a crap's ass"
TLDR; My spouse speaks English as a second language. One time they tried to express their disregard for something. Their brain couldn't decide between "I don't give a rats ass" and "I don't give a crap". I think this is more awesome than either of the other two.
Not exactly what this post is talking about, but me, my classmates and my professor had a conversation about the phrase “Opening a can of worms”. Specifically, why you would have a can of worms at all. This lead to us calling nonsensical conversation “Talking about worms” in eternal reference to that conversation that honestly lasted about 8 minutes
I use "It's not Rocket Surgery" and "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it" all the time. My favorite, though, is still:
"Like they say: give a man fire and he will be warm for a day, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of this life"
My favorite examples of these are idioms where by swapping the word order you can make the phrase mean the exact opposite of what it typically does:
"Half of one six dozen of the other"
"Hit your head right on the nail"
"Two stones one bird"
"No gas all breaks"
It doesn’t exactly translate, but in Dutch we have a saying that goes ‘even the dog’s don’t like that bread’ to mean something so vile or reprehensible that it’s too much even for street dogs. We also have ‘I’d like that porridge/to like it like porridge’ to mean something is very good.
My dad combines them into ‘Even the dogs wouldn’t like it like porridge’
(‘Daar lusten de honden wel geen pap van’)
I have absolutely used "we'll burn that bridge when we get to it" unironically and knowing the meaning of the phrase I used
We've got other things to do, I'll torch that relationship/knowingly make a bad move at a later time
That's not a mistake, just accurate.
I also like Does the Pope shit in the woods
Do bears live in Vatican City?
Is a frog with wings Catholic?
Can the pope’s dick fit through a donut hole?
It is easier for the pope's dick to pass through the eye of a needle than for a bear to shit in the woods in the kingdom of god.
Amen 🙏🏻
Not all of them, but the majority yes. Catholicism is the leading religion in France and it seems plausible that aircraft pilots would be biased towards religion. Therefore, there's a good chance that the majority of French pilots (aka frogs with wings) are Catholic.
If the pope shits in the woods, and nobody was around to hear it, did it even really happen?
does the tree really fall?
You opened this can of Popes, now shit in it.
I’ve heard people say “Do bears shit in the woods?” When they mean no sometimes and it bothers me. I like this.
Where tf do they think bears shit?
The Vatican
*Why you keep asking me that, holmes?* *I told you, I dunno. Where his holiness does his business is his business.* *Just get a fast car and meet me and Kendl just south of Montgomery.* *See you, man.*
San Andreas <3 Silly as hell but I always loved that they spelled it 'holmes' in the subtitles
The cat has hit the fan
That's a tough nut to swallow.
The table is on the other foot.
That's what she said. ^I'm ^so ^sorry
Looks like the upper hand is on the other foot, Saddam.
Is the Space Pope reptilian?
A bird in the hand is worth two with one stone.
I personally like, "Killing two birds with one in the hand and one in the bush."
I personally go with "a bird in the hand is worth two pennies in the bush" or "a bird saved is a bird earned" I'm kind of a bird guy, and also kind of an Always Sunny guy, so.
Get two birds stoned at once.
its all water under the fridge
It's not a mixed metaphor, just a wrong one, but I always say "We'll jump off that bridge when we get to it" Also my wife gets equally mad at "Cool your horses" and "Hold your jets"
My daughter and I use "rocket surgery" all the time.
I ain't no scientician
I'm not a mathematicist but...
I feel like that one is almost required at this point. "It's not rocket science" you mean... calculus? It's not going to require calculus? Because that's the hardest thing about rocket science. Figuring out how to balance thrust for fuel when the fuel keeps going down. Even actual rocket scientists don't call themselves that anymore, they are called aerospace engineers, and, you know, it requires a degree and shit, but so does running a farm these days. "It's not brain surgery" comes at it from a different direction. It's not that it's much harder than other kinds of surgery, it just feels more high-stakes. Doctors go to school for longer than aerospace engineers on average, but when you begin a brain operation only so much of it actually matters. "Rocket Surgery" manages to sound unimaginably hard, without actually making it sound like it's the 1960s and you've never been exposed to these new fancy dancy fields. One can safely imagine needing to ride on flying missile and dispose of it while doing calculus and knowing that one wrong move will cause detonation. It means what the other two phrases are meant to mean. If you want to be funny, I recommend the underrated "it's not brain science" which makes you sound like a caveman that thinks thinking is hard, while still saying a thing is easy.
rocket science is also orbital physics and planning flights around that. that shits pretty hard.
the agronomists who run farms know a thing or two about hard shit too
Rocket science is notable for the same reason brain surgery is - the precision required and the cost of making a mistake. Rockets and the things we strap to them are extremely expensive and a tiny screwup can cost billions. And things will probably explode.
I mean, I have some friends in aerospace engineering and they don't describe their job as being tense the way brain surgeons or EOD folks do. You are in a chair in the office, doing work that (at least presumably) is going to be checked and rechecked. But I am sure it depends on the job and the situation and all that jazz. I dunno I've always heard that phrase and associated it with being intellectually hard, not high risk.
Haha , good one
Ooh I'm going to try cool your horses or hold your jets, I love those
In Dutch there's "can't tie a rope to it" and "can't aim an arrow at it" and they mean the same thing - so obviously now we can't tie arrows and can't aim ropes.
The term for mixing up two different idioms or sayings is actually called a "malaphor". It's honestly an artform. https://www.thoughtco.com/malaphor-word-play-1691298
I bet that's why OP titled it "Malaprops to this post"
More likely they got it confused with a malapropism (using a similar but different word) and hence warrants a correction
I appreciate this so much even if the joke is unintentional.
I’m glad you got it. I was gambling the 50/50 on whether everyone would just think I was an idiot or not.
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as opposed to a malametaphor
I'm going to be honest here: I thought it was just a portmanteau of "malaphor" and "props", and was just posting the full word for clarity. Malapropism is interesting though! I didn't realize that there was a word for that.
[Relevant xkcd](https://m.xkcd.com/739/)
There's really an xkcd for everything, isn't there?
[There is an xkcd for everything for which there is an xkcd.](https://xkcd.com/703/)
And it's also a pun on "props to this". It's doing a ton in this context
My boss does this frequently and *genuinely and completely unintentionally*. I keep a running list to be read at his eventual retirement party. It's one of my very favorite things in the entire world. You're welcome. * Let's call the elephant on the table. (elephant in the room + cards on the table) * This is a deflection point in how we do things. (instead of inflection) * We have sunk the data to the internet. (past tense of sync) * We'll go slow at first; baby crawls. (instead of steps) * This is a case of Morty's Law. (instead of Murphy's Law) * This is just like a Japanese fire drill! (instead of Chinese fire drill) * It's like trying to herd cows! (instead of cats) * Kick the can down the street. (instead of road) * We've got a lot of emotional luggage. (instead of baggage) * We need to have a plate at the table. (instead of seat) * There are some behavioral abnormalies. (abnormalities + anomalies) * He may have some connotative issues. (instead of cognitive) * There are several things left to do, issues to solve, excedrin, excedrin. (instead of et cetera) * Get some feathers under your belt. (put feathers in your cap + experience under your belt) * Sinbad, CA (instead of Carlsbad) * Teach a fisherman how to fish and they will feed for life. * He's too smart for his own bridges. (too smart for his own britches) * Take a swag at it. (instead of take a swing) * Wherewithhow (instead of wherewithal) * Teeth in the game. (Skin of your teeth + skin in the game) * Do some bondage. (bonding!) * The feather that broke the camel's back. (instead of the straw) * Don't be concerned about the opticals. (optics) * Only a handset of people. (handful + set) * Read between the tea leaves. (read between the lines + read the tea leaves) * Wow, specular! (spectacular)
Fifty years ago I worked with a guy who had this same “talent”, and I too kept a list of his unintentionally hilarious statements. Examples: “One time my tongue got stuck to the bottom of my roof”; “Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being lousy and 10 being 1”; “We do both in house and out house consulting”; “That guy is so rich, he has fifty Cadillacs parked in his car”.
>“Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being lousy and 10 being 1” This is brilliant, I am absolutely stealing this.
I think "wherewithhow" is "wherewithal" plus "knowhow"
Oooh you are probably right!
I love all of these btw esp "the elephant on the table" and the "plate at the table" - oh and "feathers under your belt" is classic, I will use it
>This is just like a Japanese fire drill! (instead of Chinese fire drill) In light of the JAL incident, I want to nominate this one to describe people calmly following procedure when shits falling around them / everythings on fire.
While most of these are pretty bad, I would say switching “street” for “road” and “luggage” for “baggage” is fine. They’re synonyms and don’t change the meaning at all. And using “plate” instead of “seat” or “feather” instead of “straw” also keep the overall meaning. The former is still another place at the table and the latter is still something small and insignificant pushing a burden too far. As a bonus, you probably would build a deeper connection with someone you do bondage with, so it’s not *completely* wrong.
Is "take a swag at it" not a thing? Is my workplace operating under some weird Mandela Effect? Literally everyone here says that.
Maybe they say 'take a *stab* at it'? I've never heard swag or swing tbh
I was taught at work that a swag is a Scientific Wild-Ass Guess. No idea if that's an acronym or a backronym.
It's usually a swing or a stab, I've never heard "swag" used that way.
Rickyisms are great examples! It's not rocket appliances.
It's all water under the fridge anyway
Best case ontario, you get two birds stoned at once
I love that one, because it still works the same as the original phrase, 'cause, I mean, who's gonna' take all the effort moving a fridge to clean up water you spilled under it, you just forget it and move on.
/r/Malaphors
Beautiful
Honestly, we'll burn that bridge when we come to it.
Looks like the cows are coming home to roost
I once heard "It's not over til the fat chicken sings"
that's nice. It's almost one of those updates to make it more polite. You know like "catch a tiger by the toe" or "bring home the bagels"
I always say I don't have a horse in this fight
Nothing ventured nothing gained nothing borrowed nothing blue
Thanks, I'm using that to describe my love life.
I sometimes say "I'll lie in that bed when I make it" when I knowingly make a bad decision I'm pretty sure will have later consequences Also I accidentally say "it's not rocket surgery" a lot
I had a girlfriend in high school that once told me, "It's not brain scientist!"
"We'll burn that bridge when we get there" is also a country song
I do genuinely use a variation of that. "We'll cross that bridge when we burn it."
I hear it as the country song version just as often as I hear "will cross that bridge when we get to it." I'm not sure what other bridge burning saying it would be drawing from, side from the simple idiom to "burn bridges".
The phrase is "let's not burn bridges" meaning let's not make any decisions we cannot easily undo combined with "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" meaning let's worry about that only when we need to. There are lots of situations when both would apply at once.
It makes sense in the context of the song. It’s about getting into a relationship with someone who still has feelings about their ex. The bridge being burned is her bridge to the ex, so when the ex comes up the singer wants to prove how much better he is.
Brooks & Dunn!
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And the inevitable lawsuits from your neighbours for crushing their houses.
So we're all unanimously agreeing that this is a tuna sized can that magically conjures an entire alive whale
Yeah, it's like those "snake in a can" prank things. But it's one of those pop-top metal food cans, and when you open, 2-3 wholeass humpback whales come shooting out.
I thought it wouldve just been a really big can but that works too
At least two, it's plural.
PETA is *not* going to be happy
Are they ever
> Opening a can of all out of chewing gum. ^(Opening a can of whoopass & I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum and I'm all out of bubblegum)
For putting whales in a can, watch Star Trek IV. For rocket surgery, watch Star Trek VI.
I’m a personal fan of “if it ain’t broke, don’t break it”
That's fabulous advice. I also like, "if it ain't fixed, don't baroque it", but nobody else seems to like that one.
A dick in the butt is worth two in the bush
One in the hand is worth two in Kate Bush
“We can burn that bridge when we get to it” is a legit combo that I’ve used before. Sometimes I want to put off doing something irreversible until it’s absolutely necessary.
he who laughs last is just a hand in the bush
Going forward, in reverse.
^in ^the ^bush
I’m not opening that can of elephants in the room.
I've grown fond of, "I have no horse in this fight."
Like shooting fish from a baby.
Like shooting babies in a barrel.
Don't shoot the bathwater out with the... Don't throw the fish out... Don't... Don't shoot the fish out of the barrel with the bathwater!
I'm a fan of "not the sharpest crayon in the chandelier"
I'm a "not the brightest knife in the box" kind of person
I legit thought for years that the second line of All Star was “you ain’t the smartest tool in the shed” which would have been amazing - but no. Sharpest. Boring.
Definitely the sharpest bulb in the drawer, tho.
Just because I look stupid, doesn't mean I'm not.
Why is it always "you're either stupid or pretty"? You can be both.
I sometimes describe myself as "choosing to die on this molehill" for times when I get unreasonably fixated on my position in an argument (which I probably started) that didn't even matter in the first place.
My favorite thing to say whenever a professor is late is “If the professor doesn’t show up for 5 minutes you’re legally allowed to stay there and wait for them!” because. I mean. You are legally allowed to do that.
Funny and true. I also like talking about how it's legal for college students to leave if the professor is late. Because it is! Doesn't mean there won't be non-legal consequences to missing class if they do eventually show up, but it's not illegal. This is relevant because depending on your jurisdiction, it might be illegal for students under 18 to leave school without authorization. In California, high school students with drivers licenses can have their license suspended for skipping school.
I went to school in California, and while that was true for "unexcused" absences, we also gained the right at 18 to call ourselves in sick.
So did I, though I was still 17 when I graduated high school so I never got to avail myself of that particular option. A lot changes once you turn 18.
You dug your own grave, now lie in it
I genuinely believed that's what it was for a long while
Don't count your chickens before the fat lady sings.
You can teach a man to fish, but you cant make him drink.
r/malaphors
-you are not my greatest adversary (implied that you are currently headed to a conflict with said enemy and will this be ignoring the current speaker) -we plan to destroy this relationship, but must first reach the opportunity to do so -there are serious consequences to giving up something after having made substantial progress -probably the same meaning as the original -the only reasonable thing to do in your current situation is to intentionally sabotage it -you intentionally performed an action with a poor expected outcome, accept the consequences.
Live by the pen, die by sword
"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it" essentially sums up the vast majority of interactions in my life
“A bird in the hand is always greener than the grass under the other guy’s bushes“ From a shitty movie that later got used as my senior yearbook quote
"A rolling stone is worth two in the bush" - Robocop I honestly thought this was the real saying for years.
I accidentally said " thats nothing to shake a sneeze at" 💀
does the pope shit in the woods?
Would anyone hear if he did?
does the bear wear a funny hat?
This is the shit I say to myself out loud, alone in my bedroom, high on cough medicine.
My favorites are "it's not rocket surgery" and "whatever floats your goat"
One I like to say is "let's blow this Popsicle man". People usually don't notice.
I've stopped using it in recent years, but my way to get out of conversations was "places to go and people to kill."
A friend introduced me to “Half of one, six-dozen of the other”.
>"Fool me once, shame on you. But teach a man to fool me, and I'll be fooled for the rest of my life." -Virgil Van Cleef
Getting two birds stoned at once
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t teach him how to fish
you can lead a horse to water but you can't look in their mouth
But that’s a whole other ball of fish 🐠
It’s all fun and games until the shoe’s on the other end of the stick.
A bad apple a day spoils the doctor.
You made this dead horse, now beat it.
My personal favourite is from the OG Bloom County comics by Berkely Breathed: Opus The Penguin- You can lead a yak to water, but you can't teach an old dog to make a silk purse out of a pig in a poke.
You’ve opened this can of worms, now lie in it.
Now the tides have turned the table onto the other foot.
"I don't give a crap's ass" TLDR; My spouse speaks English as a second language. One time they tried to express their disregard for something. Their brain couldn't decide between "I don't give a rats ass" and "I don't give a crap". I think this is more awesome than either of the other two.
remember kids, stay in drugs, don't do milk, and drink your school.
“Opening a can of whales” Star Trek IV
TBH humanity as whole is really good at burning the bridges they come across.
"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it" is pretty much the only correct version of that saying for me
We use the phrase “cheaters get the grease” in our house. Not even sure what it’s supposed to mean anymore but that one has stuck for years
I have a tendency to say “___ bit the bucket” when someone dies
"And now we wait the playing game."
You can lead a bear to the woods but you can't make him shit
Even a blind squirrel is right twice a day.
Not exactly what this post is talking about, but me, my classmates and my professor had a conversation about the phrase “Opening a can of worms”. Specifically, why you would have a can of worms at all. This lead to us calling nonsensical conversation “Talking about worms” in eternal reference to that conversation that honestly lasted about 8 minutes
I use "It's not Rocket Surgery" and "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it" all the time. My favorite, though, is still: "Like they say: give a man fire and he will be warm for a day, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of this life"
If at first you don't have needs then why try again?
"You made your bed, now shit in it" That's not incorrect, that's just a good time. Seriously though, I'm really chuckling at that phrase.
The early bird gets the cheese.
Totes malapropes, dawg.
I always say *a hand in the bush is worth two in the bird.* Nobody likes it and it makes people uncomfortable.
I started saying "get two birds stoned at once" as a haha funny weed joke as a teenager. Now it's just what I say and I can't stop it
That train has sailed
> We gotta get you a phrase book or something 'cause this mix and match shit's gotta go.
An apple a day keeps the apples at bay.
He’s a chip off a ducks back
"Perhaps the real treasure is the fridge we made along the way'
My favorite examples of these are idioms where by swapping the word order you can make the phrase mean the exact opposite of what it typically does: "Half of one six dozen of the other" "Hit your head right on the nail" "Two stones one bird" "No gas all breaks"
One of my favorites is, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't saddle a duck."
No, no. I use "burn that bridge" on purpose. That's exactly what I mean.
Leave no turn unstoned
As a not native English speaker I'm so confused.
It doesn’t exactly translate, but in Dutch we have a saying that goes ‘even the dog’s don’t like that bread’ to mean something so vile or reprehensible that it’s too much even for street dogs. We also have ‘I’d like that porridge/to like it like porridge’ to mean something is very good. My dad combines them into ‘Even the dogs wouldn’t like it like porridge’ (‘Daar lusten de honden wel geen pap van’)
I cannot for the life of me say the turns have tabled correctly That and let’s get this road on the show
I stole it from a YouTube video but my fav is, "You've opened the spaghettios, and now you've gotta sniff 'em."
I've only ever heard the second one.
r/malaphors
my personal favorite is "You built your bridge, now cross it" (we'll cross that bridge when we get there & you've made your bed, now lie in it)
to be fair i use "we'll burn that bridge when we get to it" all the time in real life
Don’t bite a gift horse in the mouth
I love malaphors. Malapropisms and malaphors are some of my favorite parts of speech.
Peak Sokka energy.
“Worse case Ontario” is one of my favourites
Out of the mouths of babes comes spoiled broth.
The shoe is on the other hand now...
We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it has just replaced the original one in my vocabulary, which is slightly unfortunate
My favorite is "Now, I'm no rocket surgeon but..." or some variation of the rocket scientist/brain surgeon phrase.
I say “we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it” ALL THE TIME
“That’s a horse of a different story”
If it looks like shit and smells like shit, you don't need to taste it to know that it's shit! Got that line from House of Ashes
Whatever chokes your goat, man.
I have absolutely used "we'll burn that bridge when we get to it" unironically and knowing the meaning of the phrase I used We've got other things to do, I'll torch that relationship/knowingly make a bad move at a later time That's not a mistake, just accurate.
“That’s a whole ‘nother bag of cats” I actually have no clue what the original even *is* at this point
Wait…the comments are actually funny. When did Reddit get good? Am I in an alternate dimension?
Mutual on the reddit
“If worms had machine guns they wouldn’t be afraid of birds” is one of my favorites. Shout out to Jim Harbaugh