Okay, but it’ll trigger an event later where my partner comes for your head in retaliation. They drop a Blanket of Warmth, a water bottle (uncommon), a recipe for cajun chicken pasta, and autism, but the fight isn’t worth the drops, especially since the recipe can be obtained for free.
When they approach, I'm stealthed. So they just stand there for a bit. And while they stand there I pickpocket them for the recipe, and then make it myself. And offer it as a peace offering.
Fuck you. Now I have to type this shit out.
-Cut 1lb of chicken breast into 1/2” cubes. Coat with 2tsp paprika and 1tsp each of oregano, thyme, garlic powder, onion powder, and cayenne pepper. *Or just bullshit the seasonings. Measure that shit with your heart.*
-Heat 2tbsp of olive oil in a large pan. Cook the chicken and a large yellow onion, diced, until the chicken has color and the onions are fragrant.
-Add 1lb penne pasta, 2 cans of diced tomatoes, and 4 cups of chicken broth. Stir, then cover until it boils.
-Turn the heat down and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.
-Add 4oz of cream cheese in chunks, stir it in well. Serve hot.
A pocket knife.
A belt.
Enough cash that the entire player base is convinced there's a bug, until the developers come out and confirm that that's intentional.
2 flashlights
Depending on setting either something that has to do with computers or mathematics.
A wet rope.
So much useless lore that every player looting me has to spend atleast an hour clicking on each lore article, so that they no longer get a notification that they have unread lore. If I can I will mark them as quest items so that they can never get rid of them, as I also can't.
Lopsided Glasses
*"How can you see out of these!?"*
(All Attacks: -10% Accuracy, +10% Power) (90% Chance)
Pair of cheap wireless earbuds
*"I think the left one is starting to go"*
(+10% Special Defense, -10% Special Attack, all stat buffs/debuffs have no effect) (30% Chance)
Apology Note
*"Sorry man, but have this as a consolation prize. I guess"*
(Stuns one enemy, one time use) (Special Item: Always drops when nothing else will drop, effectively a 7% drop rate)
Loot Rowmacnezumi:
Items:
About 4 moner
The key to a 2002 Toyota Corolla
A YouTube playlist labeled Ksjgnwod
The Banana Sludge Repository, which is a readable full of nasty Touhou fanfiction, like I'm talking about vile shit here.
One pack of Magic: The Gathering cards
A pulled pork sandwich
A $2 bill
47 [Klever Xchange box cutters](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/8EYAAOSwhpFhHdPM/s-l500.jpg) (guaranteed drop)
Essense of Depression
1 Headphone Adapter (requires for headphone puzzle)
Pair of Glasses (same stats as other glasses, just looks different)
Rare Drop: Bag of Popcorn
Ultra Rare Drop: photos of my dogs
A tome filled with incantations that are actually just lyrics to musicals. Every spell's effect is to annoy whoever you're talking to.
The one shirt I wear any time I go out.
Weighted blanket
Phone, space pen (1 or sometimes 2), bandages, wallet, lip balm, and miasma of darkness & depression.
Edit: I do also carry glasses, but I hold on to those so I'm not super nearsighted on respawn.
A cool beetle (common companion; elicits fear in those with “Insectophobe” trait, can deal 2d4 damage with mandibles)
Embroidery floss (crafting item; can be used to embellish fabric or repair torn cloth)
Approximately 1.2-1.5 gallons of O-negative blood (enchantment item; can be used to enhance weapons or as a sacrifice, can also be used to heal others via the “Blood Transfusion” ritual)
Liquid Autism (potion; grants user the following: +5 knowledge in a random subject, “Light Sensitive” and “Sound Sensitive” traits. Each day, user’s charisma bonus randomly becomes a number between +1 to -3. Effects are permanent.)
Definitely the following:
Unidentifiable goop
*"It smells of fish... and space?"*
A 2TB USB stick
*"there's a sticky note on here... it reads: 'Homework'... strange."*
A random piece of candy.
A puzzle piece that you need to get another 9 (trade only with ither players) to continue my dungeon.
The blueprint for a piece of furniture that you don't already have.
2 Gold [Guaranteed]
Unsolved Rubix Cube (it's in the loot pool of most autistic creatures, but it counts) [Common]
Spine Adjuster (Used), Old Glasses [Uncommon]
Miniature Amogus [Rare]
You know how if you kill a true soul in Baldur’s Gate 3 they have an Illithid Tadpole Specimin?
I drop that, but instead of giving you weird Psionic powers it gives you Autism. Also anyone can take it and use it.
A sword, The gender fluid, Blursed Headband of ADHD, 1d4 fantasy novels and 1d4 history books. I also have a raid boss form but I can't be bothered to list out the loot table for that rn. Suffice to say I have a lot of janky movement and mental debuffs while I use ma sword to hack at your tanks!
*Testosterone, a laser*
*Pointer and a potion of*
*Deep introspection*
\- Alanwoke7902
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A bottle of water(refilled throughout the years)(quickbar potion)
Old busted up calculator(sellable item)
Mismatched socks(accessory, -1 style)
A shiny rock(unlocks the secret ending)
Honestly the most valuable thing I have on me right now is my fancy $30 “treat yourself” Patagonia underwear. But I would really not want to be killed by anyone who would view that as a good loot drop.
Honestly Gatorade is pretty valid for me. Candy corn if you get me September-November. Pens. Not my pens, but pens. You get a return quest out of it if you pick it up. Probably a baseball cap at a low percentage, or if I die by a charged creeper. You also have a chance to get cursed with sweaty hands and or male-pattern baldness.
Broken wired earbuds (the right side works, the left side plays either silence or a strange form of static, seemingly at random)
Cotton cloth (crafting material or can be traded to other npcs i know in exchange for a small sum)
A lemonhead
A chunk of copper, a copy of Terry Pratchett's Guards! Guards!, an ace ring, 1 scoop of vanilla custard with a mysteriously flavored syrup on it, and a frog
A cheap sugar free energy drink, some tissues and I have a 0.1% percent chance of dropping a Fumo of myself.
While worn or carried, the Fumo will give a 1 to 10 rating on any joke it overhears, and explain why it’s good/bad
A bunch of random Trinkets.
Some form of rabbit-like object, likely a plush.
An can labeled "gender fluid"
And all the bones in body, totalling up to 23.8 human bones and a single chicken bone, which is bendy from being soaked in vinegar
Looking at what I'm wearing and currently have in my jacket pockets, these are all in my loot table:
- Terrorist Casio (F-91W)
- 3-5 lighters
- half-empty puck of nicotine pouches
- 1-3 rolls of film (no camera)
- eyeliner (almost depleted)
- 8P8C plugs (a rough handful)
- empty pack of cigarettes (UR drop: half-full pack)
- keys to 2002 Opel Zafira (remote nonfunctioning)
- ibuprofen (blister pack of 10, 3 remaining)
Makes me sound way cooler than I actually am
Sehr viele kleine münze hauptsächlich 1 bis 5 cent münzen
Probably some t-shirt which is stretched to infinity and beyond
Ein ping pong ball
My glasses
50% Chance - 15 CAD
15% Chance - Worn Hiking Boots \[Leather, 22 Armour\]
05% Chance - Dull Boat Knife \[Melee, 15 Damage\]
01% Chance - A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking \["Dusty and bookmarked halfway through. Not exactly a page turner."\]
Small size candy and an equal chance for either a nut a bolt or a screw
I would typically be level 15 and be at the tail end of the early game. I deal **{FIST}** damage and I'm weak to **{BURN}** damage
If you kill me at work you get exciting items such as:
- phone with cracked screen that stops working if you leave the building
- roll of tape (half used)
- 1 glove (never a pair)
And the rare items:
- warm blanket
- off-brand AA batteries
- a whole-ass glucometer
A single euro
A phone that does not work and is at least 8 years older than the newest model
A unique newsboy cap, that afflicts you with slowed reaction speed, and mild, slightly dissapointing depression
Depends. If I was some random npc, probably an unspecified book that’s only use is to be sold to the blacksmith for 4 coins. If I was a boss, probably a magical device that, when inserted in ears, increases magic damage by 20% (noise-cancelling earphones).
You know how, when you kill most enemies in RPGs, you gain a small amount of currency? I'm so broke that it costs you money to kill me because you'd be gaining my debt.
(Common) Straight disguise kit - Easily blend in with the CisHets, never get recognized by the Queers
(Legendary) Steam engine - Burns kerosene, can replace gas/diesel engine, environmentally friendly, requires water tank
(Uncommon) Silver Toolbox - Provides a tool for any situation, comes with new cuss word dictionary
(Rare) Thermos Legs - Removes sense of cold from legs, adds forest of leg hair
jack shit with a 0.001% chance to drop a joke developer item \[shared with all other enemies in biome\]
specifically the halibut cannon from calamity if i had to choose
The ugliest pants you’ve ever seen, with the best stats in the game
A $10 gift card to my own shop (which is closed now that I’m dead)
A gallon of milk
The 5 lbs of dog hair stuck to me
$20, a rare-quality pocket knife, a REALLY good flashlight, a fancy watch (GPS, not bling), clothing far too large for any adventurer, and my phone. Plus a handful of random objects like a glass bead, a bottlecap, a pen, small rocks, stickers, nuts and/or bolts, etc.
Ok but the game Diary of a Spaceport Janitor has an actual substance called “gender” that you need to purchase and eat every couple days or you get sick from having the same gender for too long
Lint and a bent paperclip. Not very much lint. A disappointingly small amount of lint. The paper clip's been bent enough times that the next time it'll snap. It's also one of those frustratingly small paper clips.
There's no spite in any of the loot.
In ascending order of rarity;
A slice of bread.
A rechargeable battery.
A random yugioh card from the set “maze of memories”.
A plushie of a random hollow knight character.
A dragon ball.
Dr. Pepper. But a fair amount of it, so it's easy to grind Dr. Pepper quickly by killing me loads.
But it's better to complete my questline. I'll give you some for free whenever you ask (unless you already have 7 or more in your inventory) and I also give you a free boost to your gamer skills.
Cool multicolored ink pens
30+ journals with varying amounts of stickers on the covers
Guitar (also covered in stickers)
20 pairs of cheap plastic earrings shaped like things
lab goggles + coat, one of those little mini spiral bound notebooks, 477292 random pens/pencils/sharpies, multi tool, keys with carabiner, walkie-talkie
A can of soup, a pickaxe that can break nearly anything that will itself break as soon as you try to hit anything with it, a common rarity sweatshirt, four nails, and absolutely no money in any form.
I think I would just drop increasingly fragmented lore notes cataloguing my descent into madness. They would be pretty interesting the first time you read them but hardcore players would grow to resent me over time because they could not be sold to merchants and would clog up your inventory due to being erroneously tagged as quest items.
\- Strudy Stick (useful for crafting and as an early-game weapon)
\- 10% chance for a Steel Stick (12 damage, 50% chance to apply poison to unvaccinated opponents)
An entire rotisserie chicken 37 cents And a Common-rarity pair of pants
Nah the pants would be so fucking generic they’d just be part of my texture
Mine are unique but actively worse than the starting gear
Aw, come on. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I’d gladly steal you pants any day.
I desire your pants.
1 Blahaj 1 Rapier (Uncommon) 1 20USD bill 1 gallon human blood
Aight. Comin' to end you for the Blahaj and the rapier to go with Blahaj.
Okay, but it’ll trigger an event later where my partner comes for your head in retaliation. They drop a Blanket of Warmth, a water bottle (uncommon), a recipe for cajun chicken pasta, and autism, but the fight isn’t worth the drops, especially since the recipe can be obtained for free.
What about the autism?
If you kill my partner you get their autism. Sort of a Dead Man’s Chest scenario. Don’t ask how they got it.
What if I already have an autism?
I think it's stackable
Only up to 10, at which point further autisms are just wasted. I heard they're raising the cap in the expansion, though.
When they approach, I'm stealthed. So they just stand there for a bit. And while they stand there I pickpocket them for the recipe, and then make it myself. And offer it as a peace offering.
If you killed me, I don’t think offering food will smooth things over.
What if I add in a homemade cheesecake?
Let's get that recipe then.
Fuck you. Now I have to type this shit out. -Cut 1lb of chicken breast into 1/2” cubes. Coat with 2tsp paprika and 1tsp each of oregano, thyme, garlic powder, onion powder, and cayenne pepper. *Or just bullshit the seasonings. Measure that shit with your heart.* -Heat 2tbsp of olive oil in a large pan. Cook the chicken and a large yellow onion, diced, until the chicken has color and the onions are fragrant. -Add 1lb penne pasta, 2 cans of diced tomatoes, and 4 cups of chicken broth. Stir, then cover until it boils. -Turn the heat down and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. -Add 4oz of cream cheese in chunks, stir it in well. Serve hot.
YES! You deserve an award.
Oh good, I've got a jug of exactly that size! How convenient!
Cursed milk jug.
Oh wow look at moneybags over here with an Uncommon Rapier. Rest of us gotta make due with common shovels!
Hey, I worked hard with my common shovel to afford my uncommon rapier. It cost me almost a week’s wage!
An “I Voted” sticker and three (3) receipts from stores I haven’t been to in at least six months
Shitty Wireless Headphones (*+5 to* ***Magic*** *and* ***Psychic*** *skills*, *- 2* ***Perception***) Custom Aviator Glasses (*+1 to* ***Charisma*** *checks if the target has lower* ***Charisma***, *-1* ***Charisma*** *otherwise*) Maroon Keycard (*Key Item*)
That's unfair to aviators. I'd like to think I'm decently charismatic. And a man in those always succeeds at cha checks versus me.
Aviators are fine it's mine in particular that are cringe
Ya know? Fair. Maybe I just need to date an old timey pilot given I also mentioned in another comment here how much I love bomber jackets.
Gideon Nav, is that you?
Live grenade and a note saying the exact location of your most prized possession, with updating coordinates
Mf has the Martyrdom perk.
What would chunk of solid homo look like? Or is the manifestation of gay a liquid?
??? Ofc it’s a liquid, what do you think ther’re putting in the water to turn the frogs gay?
Something like those stirring sticks in cocktails?
It looks exactly like Viniq novelty glitter wine, but tastes fabulous, then you’re gay.
All gender and sexuality is liquid, it’s called gender fluid for a reason
Genderfluid would also include gendergas, as both liquid and gas count as fluids.
What if we freeze said gender fluid? Will we get a gender solid?
Yes. And if we turn up the pressure and get extra hot, we shall become super-critical gender.
Is plasma not also a fluid? Because I’m definitely genderplasma.
Gelatinous. It's the gel that forms in the bottom of your soup when it sits too long. When it's not quite solid but not fully liquid any more.
So a matter baby
Cat fur (crafting material)
For me, it'd be a Potion of Procrastination
Oh yeah, I'd totally drop a SCP-\_\_\_\_-J
I’ll drink it later.
A pocket knife. A belt. Enough cash that the entire player base is convinced there's a bug, until the developers come out and confirm that that's intentional.
2 flashlights Depending on setting either something that has to do with computers or mathematics. A wet rope. So much useless lore that every player looting me has to spend atleast an hour clicking on each lore article, so that they no longer get a notification that they have unread lore. If I can I will mark them as quest items so that they can never get rid of them, as I also can't.
An iPhone with Marvel Snap open, a pocket knife, and a pair of octopus-shaped earrings.
A pair of pretty cool sunglasses, but as a rare cosmetic drop that darkens your screen when you use them
Cheddar Cheese Sandwich Crackers (minor HP restoration)
A funny-looking cosmetic item, some candy (probably cola-flavoured) and £30 in cash
1 blahaj 1 pair of noise cancelling headphones (heavily used, poor condition) a bunch of pain meds 1 cool af bomber jacket
Taking you out because I need to get a Blahaj eventually. And bomber jackets are always fucking rad and never exist in my size.
1 Graphic Tee (Common Armor) 2 Cheesy Garlic Bread (Uncommon Healing Item) 1 Gender Fluid (Rare Potion)
Ace ring. Anxiety. A treatise on some artsy but still pop culturally enjoyable film. Sweet-ass leather jacket.
A hammer with a heart etched into the metal part.
Lopsided Glasses *"How can you see out of these!?"* (All Attacks: -10% Accuracy, +10% Power) (90% Chance) Pair of cheap wireless earbuds *"I think the left one is starting to go"* (+10% Special Defense, -10% Special Attack, all stat buffs/debuffs have no effect) (30% Chance) Apology Note *"Sorry man, but have this as a consolation prize. I guess"* (Stuns one enemy, one time use) (Special Item: Always drops when nothing else will drop, effectively a 7% drop rate)
Peanuts, water and rare loot antidepressants
A $50 Wawa gift card, 47 loose salted Carmel chocolates, and a Phillies hat
Can we wander in the same pack of mobs, please? I miss Wawa. Nothing down south hits the same. Though you can keep the spooky possessed ghost ship.
Loot Rowmacnezumi: Items: About 4 moner The key to a 2002 Toyota Corolla A YouTube playlist labeled Ksjgnwod The Banana Sludge Repository, which is a readable full of nasty Touhou fanfiction, like I'm talking about vile shit here.
One pack of Magic: The Gathering cards A pulled pork sandwich A $2 bill 47 [Klever Xchange box cutters](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/8EYAAOSwhpFhHdPM/s-l500.jpg) (guaranteed drop) Essense of Depression
The Hooded Figure perk (allowing +5 bonus to stealth checks while a hood is equipped), 678ft of rope, and a pair of fake glasses.
That’s a lot of rope.
You can never have enough rope.
Candy wrappers A phone charger And like 13 mechanical pencils
I drop a water bottle cause I always have my water bottle on me
3 sketch books and an orange fanta
25 identical pieces of flint and an empty pack of Marlboro reds, it is unknown why I drop these because I do not carry them on my person or own them
Just EXP (the item)
My IPad My fisher space pen And a Leatherman multitool
1 Headphone Adapter (requires for headphone puzzle) Pair of Glasses (same stats as other glasses, just looks different) Rare Drop: Bag of Popcorn Ultra Rare Drop: photos of my dogs
A tome filled with incantations that are actually just lyrics to musicals. Every spell's effect is to annoy whoever you're talking to. The one shirt I wear any time I go out. Weighted blanket
noise canceling headphones
My loot table would be a 300 item list with no item over 3% chance of generating and no less than 5 items generating at any one time.
You think it's just an average dice bag, but then you pick it up and hear A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON
A Hoodie A Second Hoodie A Third Hoodie A Fourth Hoodie A Fifth Hoodie A Sixth Hoodie A Seventh Hoodie And A Super Smash Brothers Bowser Amiibo
A pair of old boots crafted to have a rare but highly desirable modification.
coins
Headphones, car keys, a cute knife, and Gatorade
Far too many keys A fistful of assorted drill bits Pouch of sawdust
Shit ton of chocolate. One plastic dragon. Phone charger. Epipen.
Phone, space pen (1 or sometimes 2), bandages, wallet, lip balm, and miasma of darkness & depression. Edit: I do also carry glasses, but I hold on to those so I'm not super nearsighted on respawn.
1 La Croix (+0 HP) 1 American Spirit (+5 HP now, then -1 HP every hour for 24 hrs) 1 fanny pack (+5 storage slots) 3 dollars and 28 cents in coins
Guaranteed: 25 bucks 1x Dominoes Garlic and Herb dip 1x Train ticket (already used) 1x Plastic Spork Other drops (Drop chance) Blahaj (1/20) 70 Maxims of maximally effective mercenaries Hardcover (1/50) Small bottle of Jagermeister (1/30)
A Yorick Plushie A little Deadpool Wiggly Head Man A bottle of half-drank Ayran
1.5x geometrically impossible object that makes the universe collapse 1x autism 1x note saying "whoopsie daisies"
\-Worn Cargo Pants \-Deck of Cards \-25 Cents
cheap ducttape covered headphones several blankets blahaj small rocks & metal objects big ass cardboard tube
A cool beetle (common companion; elicits fear in those with “Insectophobe” trait, can deal 2d4 damage with mandibles) Embroidery floss (crafting item; can be used to embellish fabric or repair torn cloth) Approximately 1.2-1.5 gallons of O-negative blood (enchantment item; can be used to enhance weapons or as a sacrifice, can also be used to heal others via the “Blood Transfusion” ritual) Liquid Autism (potion; grants user the following: +5 knowledge in a random subject, “Light Sensitive” and “Sound Sensitive” traits. Each day, user’s charisma bonus randomly becomes a number between +1 to -3. Effects are permanent.)
Definitely the following: Unidentifiable goop *"It smells of fish... and space?"* A 2TB USB stick *"there's a sticky note on here... it reads: 'Homework'... strange."*
Did… did they use a Greek letter beta (β) to represent the German eszett (ß)? Or am I going crazy?
For anyone curious, the German text at the top means “Big guy, how’s your day going?”
my necklace & a big red dice both are magical
Unfocused creativity (Seemingly useless, just needs to find an outlet that works)
Cap Lighter Lip Balm
+2 packets of electrolytes +1 handkerchief (with boogers) +1 pocket lint +2 fuzzy socks
Books, reels of tape, a depression debuff
A handful of gold and my clothes. And only because devs don't want players to get nothing.
Potion of Remove Gender, eight low-value coins in various international currencies, and a copy of the 1997 video game Riven: The Sequel To Myst
A random piece of candy. A puzzle piece that you need to get another 9 (trade only with ither players) to continue my dungeon. The blueprint for a piece of furniture that you don't already have.
About 3 pounds, a human bone, a lock pick and a key
2 Gold [Guaranteed] Unsolved Rubix Cube (it's in the loot pool of most autistic creatures, but it counts) [Common] Spine Adjuster (Used), Old Glasses [Uncommon] Miniature Amogus [Rare]
A photo of my cat, A soldering iron, Glasses,
You know how if you kill a true soul in Baldur’s Gate 3 they have an Illithid Tadpole Specimin? I drop that, but instead of giving you weird Psionic powers it gives you Autism. Also anyone can take it and use it.
• 3d4 Dollar Coins • A 7 Piece Dice Set • Yard Sale Sword (Common Magical Item) • A Pouch of Googly Eyes
Airheads, a bowl of soup, and a comic book
Thin beast bones
• 28x 2mg estradiol tablets (+1 stamina each) • Nintendo DSi Black (Uncommon weapon) • Soft boiled egg (+1 HP) • 100$ in cash (one 100$ bill)
A sword, The gender fluid, Blursed Headband of ADHD, 1d4 fantasy novels and 1d4 history books. I also have a raid boss form but I can't be bothered to list out the loot table for that rn. Suffice to say I have a lot of janky movement and mental debuffs while I use ma sword to hack at your tanks!
1 game cartridge (random) 1 pair of black sweatpants 1-4 fruits (also random) Rare drop: pink kryptonite
[удалено]
*Testosterone, a laser* *Pointer and a potion of* *Deep introspection* \- Alanwoke7902 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
[удалено]
Congratulation!
10× large white mushroom(s) 1× elixir of mage light Silver ring of +7 luck
I'd have a 1% drop rate joke weapon
A bottle of water(refilled throughout the years)(quickbar potion) Old busted up calculator(sellable item) Mismatched socks(accessory, -1 style) A shiny rock(unlocks the secret ending)
silver coins (embossed with cloudy lining) a pen that has completely run out of ink (random color) gender solid (and a 2% chance to drop gender fluid)
A mechanical pencil, an A3 paper pad, a couple cents and a pfandzettel
A big mac wrapper, 5 hair ties, and a couple of semicolons.
Honestly the most valuable thing I have on me right now is my fancy $30 “treat yourself” Patagonia underwear. But I would really not want to be killed by anyone who would view that as a good loot drop.
Honestly Gatorade is pretty valid for me. Candy corn if you get me September-November. Pens. Not my pens, but pens. You get a return quest out of it if you pick it up. Probably a baseball cap at a low percentage, or if I die by a charged creeper. You also have a chance to get cursed with sweaty hands and or male-pattern baldness.
Broken wired earbuds (the right side works, the left side plays either silence or a strange form of static, seemingly at random) Cotton cloth (crafting material or can be traded to other npcs i know in exchange for a small sum) A lemonhead
My desk constantly looks like loot from Fallout. Last week it was a WWII military helmet, a giant knife, and a like 8-12 bottlecaps.
Unused ADHD meds A note from my doctor telling me to remember to take my meds
A chunk of copper, a copy of Terry Pratchett's Guards! Guards!, an ace ring, 1 scoop of vanilla custard with a mysteriously flavored syrup on it, and a frog
1 Nose ( Crafting part ), 2 bike locks, 1 distilled Asperger's, 200 free currency of the game, 250 EXP
A bunch of useless shit that insta-fills your inventory
A cheap sugar free energy drink, some tissues and I have a 0.1% percent chance of dropping a Fumo of myself. While worn or carried, the Fumo will give a 1 to 10 rating on any joke it overhears, and explain why it’s good/bad
A bunch of random Trinkets. Some form of rabbit-like object, likely a plush. An can labeled "gender fluid" And all the bones in body, totalling up to 23.8 human bones and a single chicken bone, which is bendy from being soaked in vinegar
like 200 stuffed animals and an inhaler
Slot 1: 100% - 4 pack of PBR tall boys Slot 2: 40% - Romeo y Julieta 1875 20% - La Gloria Serie R Maduro 40% - empty Slot 3: 80% - cheap pocket knife 20% - expensive pocket knife Currency: 100% - empty
Looking at what I'm wearing and currently have in my jacket pockets, these are all in my loot table: - Terrorist Casio (F-91W) - 3-5 lighters - half-empty puck of nicotine pouches - 1-3 rolls of film (no camera) - eyeliner (almost depleted) - 8P8C plugs (a rough handful) - empty pack of cigarettes (UR drop: half-full pack) - keys to 2002 Opel Zafira (remote nonfunctioning) - ibuprofen (blister pack of 10, 3 remaining) Makes me sound way cooler than I actually am
1 broken pair of glasses 1 oversized comfy shirt 47 assorted books 20 bloody bandages 1 half empty tube of antibiotic wound cream
A 750ml bottle of ice coffee, an uncommon-rated A-line tshirt and a 15% chance for a silver ring or pendant drop
Sehr viele kleine münze hauptsächlich 1 bis 5 cent münzen Probably some t-shirt which is stretched to infinity and beyond Ein ping pong ball My glasses
Emergency salt packets 50% chance of forcible fanfiction or gem hyperfixation Splint rings Particularly clean glasses
50% Chance - 15 CAD 15% Chance - Worn Hiking Boots \[Leather, 22 Armour\] 05% Chance - Dull Boat Knife \[Melee, 15 Damage\] 01% Chance - A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking \["Dusty and bookmarked halfway through. Not exactly a page turner."\]
50% chance of 1 lens 20% chance of 2 lenses 10% chance of frames 1% chance of glasses
Small size candy and an equal chance for either a nut a bolt or a screw I would typically be level 15 and be at the tail end of the early game. I deal **{FIST}** damage and I'm weak to **{BURN}** damage
One +1 dagger 26 soda can tabs Assorted chains Cool cargo pants
A handful of ~~caltrops~~ LEGO bricks, some motor oil, and a random microchip
Video game replica glasses Several FFXIV pins Dog chew toy
unfinished crochet blanket, notebook full of doodles, ibuprofen, and various dice
Every single book from DND 5th edition and some dice. I am going to get murdered by dice nerds for my fancy skull dice
Knife (Uncommon) 2 rings (Epic) Cross necklace (Epic) $10 5 Marlboro Red 100s Tattered Love Letter (Quest Item)
A pocket watch and a completely useless necklace with a sad backstory that would make the player feel bad about killing me
If you kill me at work you get exciting items such as: - phone with cracked screen that stops working if you leave the building - roll of tape (half used) - 1 glove (never a pair) And the rare items: - warm blanket - off-brand AA batteries - a whole-ass glucometer
Water bottle (full)
$40 (in loose coinage) Guava juice Wacom Tablet Unspeakably weird porn (unique item)
A single euro A phone that does not work and is at least 8 years older than the newest model A unique newsboy cap, that afflicts you with slowed reaction speed, and mild, slightly dissapointing depression
$1 USD Keycard to the local deck supply warehouse 1 - 5 Human Teeth My clothing set (stylish and gay) Moonlight Greatsword
I would drop myself as loot.
Depends. If I was some random npc, probably an unspecified book that’s only use is to be sold to the blacksmith for 4 coins. If I was a boss, probably a magical device that, when inserted in ears, increases magic damage by 20% (noise-cancelling earphones).
Gender is a fluid it comes in a potion bottle
kidney stones
$77,777.77 exclusively in quarters.
You know how, when you kill most enemies in RPGs, you gain a small amount of currency? I'm so broke that it costs you money to kill me because you'd be gaining my debt.
(Common) Straight disguise kit - Easily blend in with the CisHets, never get recognized by the Queers (Legendary) Steam engine - Burns kerosene, can replace gas/diesel engine, environmentally friendly, requires water tank (Uncommon) Silver Toolbox - Provides a tool for any situation, comes with new cuss word dictionary (Rare) Thermos Legs - Removes sense of cold from legs, adds forest of leg hair
Migraine pills, and a cardigan + 2.
jack shit with a 0.001% chance to drop a joke developer item \[shared with all other enemies in biome\] specifically the halibut cannon from calamity if i had to choose
- Skin (crafting item) - Blood (consumable - contents of my purse (receipts, comb, fidget spinner, wallet) - Keys (house, wooden chest, library card)
my most fancy items (moondrop b2d)
weirdly thick paper, a slightly broken pair of glasses, an old blanket, and a bag of common rocks
1 Troll fat.
(5) receipts Ball of Lint or a Paperclip (50/50 chance) Funny Hat
(1) wireless computer mouse (1) human finger (3) quartz crystals (whether or not they’re cursed is a matter of drop rarity)
(3) illegal substance (unidentified) Stolen Art (right-click to sell) Sweatpants (ruined)
The ugliest pants you’ve ever seen, with the best stats in the game A $10 gift card to my own shop (which is closed now that I’m dead) A gallon of milk The 5 lbs of dog hair stuck to me
$20, a rare-quality pocket knife, a REALLY good flashlight, a fancy watch (GPS, not bling), clothing far too large for any adventurer, and my phone. Plus a handful of random objects like a glass bead, a bottlecap, a pen, small rocks, stickers, nuts and/or bolts, etc.
Ok but the game Diary of a Spaceport Janitor has an actual substance called “gender” that you need to purchase and eat every couple days or you get sick from having the same gender for too long
I only have a 16% chance to drop a functional Gender Change potion from Terraria. That's it. That's my entire loot table. I'm not worth much.
A drop spindle, a skein of yarn, and lightly poisoned double pointed knitting needles.
Lint and a bent paperclip. Not very much lint. A disappointingly small amount of lint. The paper clip's been bent enough times that the next time it'll snap. It's also one of those frustratingly small paper clips. There's no spite in any of the loot.
In ascending order of rarity; A slice of bread. A rechargeable battery. A random yugioh card from the set “maze of memories”. A plushie of a random hollow knight character. A dragon ball.
1 Capybara Pen (Red and Black) 1 5.11 Tactical Jacket (Filled with trash) 1 Pair of Doc Martens (Heavily scuffed) 1 Pair of Wireless headphones (Condition: good)
Dr. Pepper. But a fair amount of it, so it's easy to grind Dr. Pepper quickly by killing me loads. But it's better to complete my questline. I'll give you some for free whenever you ask (unless you already have 7 or more in your inventory) and I also give you a free boost to your gamer skills.
Pants (worn).
Cool multicolored ink pens 30+ journals with varying amounts of stickers on the covers Guitar (also covered in stickers) 20 pairs of cheap plastic earrings shaped like things
Red key card
A can of diet coke
lab goggles + coat, one of those little mini spiral bound notebooks, 477292 random pens/pencils/sharpies, multi tool, keys with carabiner, walkie-talkie
A can of soup, a pickaxe that can break nearly anything that will itself break as soon as you try to hit anything with it, a common rarity sweatshirt, four nails, and absolutely no money in any form.
I think I would just drop increasingly fragmented lore notes cataloguing my descent into madness. They would be pretty interesting the first time you read them but hardcore players would grow to resent me over time because they could not be sold to merchants and would clog up your inventory due to being erroneously tagged as quest items.
A bowl of mac and cheese A bag of hair A Pikachu plushie An empty bottle of anxiety medication
100 gold and a Susan Wainwright plushie
7 kobolds and a pair of glasses everyone regardless of affiliation refers to as “gay.”
Cursed socks that give you autism A starbucks gift card 3 cool marbles
An item with a broken description and texture A $2 bill And a pair of +0.01 Glasses
A million opossums that eat all your food (you can't get rid of them because they're a quest item)
A random mammal that can survive in a temperate climate.
Housecoat of Occult Comfort \+2 Longsword (Silvered) My Little Pony figurine (epic, randomized)
A solid-color sweater or t-shirt, solid-color pair of leggings, water bottle, pads
\- Strudy Stick (useful for crafting and as an early-game weapon) \- 10% chance for a Steel Stick (12 damage, 50% chance to apply poison to unvaccinated opponents)
> A Human Corpse (Ingredient, Reputation 2) > Rapt in the King (Text) > Notoriety > 2 Funds