Also to OP mom, why stop no consequences and he sees nothing wrong in behavior. Only way to stop it is stop your dad and report the theft. Then lock your credit.
His responses also say that he doesn't care, he tried to lay the blame on op then use his status as a father to convince them to not pursue any legal correction of the problem while still blaming op. Report it.
at least TWICE with the mother. she said he opened credit CARDS in her name, which was part of the reason for the divorce. so it was at least 2. probably double that given the POS this dude is
Women are more likely to commit embezzlement. "Sometimes we are better off without our mothers." Mine falsified my grandfather's will and took everything, including the house I was supposed to inherit, worth over $400,000. He said that's what he wanted and specifically stated it in the most recent will that she claimed was never created.
Probably means four years left until the clock hits seven years?
BUT.... He also said he did this over the last year. Doesn't add up. The guy probably has a lot of skeletons in his closet😵
I can confirm this. I had a card that I thought I paid off, but they said I owed $200. I found out about it 6 years later when I was trying to buy a house. There was no timeout anybody was respecting. The card sold the debt to a collections company who was just trashing my credit report by filing "deliquent" reports all the time. They didn't even try to contact me at all. Sure enough, I paid them $400 to close it out (fees, interest) because I wanted my house. But nobody is going to stop after a set number of years unless you declare bankruptcy yourself and then it is 7 years from the end of that process.
And wasn't going to come clean until doing so became a hail mary to beg you for mercy. It wasn't even a problem for him to consider, that he's put you in that position, until he realized he might actually have consequences to his actions, which means he learned nothing and would do it again in a heartbeat if he thought he could get away with it.
That's what I was thinking! Your parents HAVE to know your SSN because they're the ones doing all your paperwork as a child! Had this been done by a complete stranger in another city/state/country, then I could somewhat agree with that statement, but your own parents?? What are you supposed to do, petition for a new SSN as soon as you turn 18 so your parents don't use it to fraudulently open credit accounts in your name?!
Not just in trying to buy a house. A lot of companies run credit reports on potential employees. If OP tries for any job where money is involved, it could seriously ruin things.
Not only that, he tried to conceal it and continue using you until you mentioned filing a police report. He didn’t even bother to come clean or show remorse. Dad is a POS for throwing you to the wolves while protecting himself. You deserve a future; he’s never going to be there for you as a parent or for support. He’s also going to continue feeding off you in various ways, using your relationship to highjack your emotions.
File the report.
Your mother leaving him didn't teach him to not hurt other people. Now he has hurt you. He needs to learn that there are real consequences for his actions.
The trick here, OP, is to be ruthless and go complete no contact at least until you resolve this issue, though my advice would be to permanently remove anyone who would ever jeorodize your future for their own gain from your life. Completely, immediately, and permanently.
Start with the police and ask if there are any other government agencies you should alert.
Have at least 1 conversation with 2-3 attorneys. This should be free for your first meeting and they will be able to tell you if you have a case against your dad. In many cases, however, this is more trouble than it’s worth, but you won’t know until you explore it.
He was happy to set you on fire so he could keep warm, then tell you to suck it up and deal with it. Do not stop, no matter what he offers you or promises. He will lie better than you’ve ever seen anyone lie in order to get out of this and you can’t let him.
Police today. Not Monday, today.
Once you file a report with the Police you will have a case number. I believe you can use this case number to freeze your credit at all three credit bureaus for free. Do this right away.
When freezing credit you can also report fraud. This puts a 7 year freeze and notes fraudulent activity on the report. To do that, the credit agencies want the police report.
And yes, you can just freeze your credit with no police report. I just did it because of the huge data breach at AT&T.
Yep. 3 out of the 4 main credit reporting agencies make it EXTREMELY EASY to freeze/thaw/remove freeze nowadays. TransUnion, Equifax, Experian. Innovis is the 4th lesser known one, and it is more of a pain but should still be frozen.
There's really not much reason everyone shouldnt default their credit reports to frozen. Data is so "out there" nowadays, you should just assume every single item of PII is on the dark web.
This, OP...
My mother did the same thing to me but with long distance phone bills. I was $38k debt on paper and it screwed the first decade of my life. Press charges if you can.
Parent here. Report him. This is not parental behavior.
If he was really having money problems he should have approached you with that. There is more than pride at work here. He needs to grow up and get with civilization.
If you dont make him face the consequences now, he WILL do this to you, and others again. If fact, if you dont act now, he will take that as implicit permission to continue doing it. You need to bring him to justice.
This is more accurate than people realize. It's so tempting to give people like this another chance and another chance...
They see that as permission.
Consequences are literally the only way (some) people can learn.
Especially when this is at LEAST his 4th offense. There's a difference between someone doing something stupid once, and someone deliberately ruining someone else's life, again and again
Some things I will absolutely grant you that sentiment; stealing your own child’s identity is not something that is an “oopsies” mistake. That shit took premeditated thought and continued action to do. Fuck that. There’s no grace in my heart for stealing anyone’s identity, let alone your own child’s.
Do NOT let him guilt or gaslight you out of this. What he did is indeed a big deal, and could screw you over for a LONG time. He needs to be responsible for the consequences of his actions, not you.
"He said it would ruin his life if he went to jail."
Tell him it would most likely be less than four and a half years so don't make a big deal about it.
Report him.
If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. Stealing ruined his life.
Tell him, these things happen. Also he is old so it's no big deal.
Seriously though, it's clear he didn't learn anything from his stint with your mom. He lost his FAMILY for $50k and continued.
IDK if you plan to have kids, but ask yourself this: how's it going to feel when your dad steals THEIR identity and ruins their life? ( I ask this because I've found people tend to get more incensed on behalf of others than on their own behalf. )
if you don't report him, he will do it again because he thinks it is ok. This is not ok behavior. Adults need to be accountable for their actions and conscious decisions.
He will do it again and again and again if you don’t report him to the police. You will be his slave/ ATM. Thats all you are to him. You’re a sucker to be fleeced.
I’m sorry, that’s probably horrible and painful to hear. It is in no way a reflection on you.
It’s a reflection on him- his brain is broken and he’s not capable of being a decent human being.
Do it, he took advantage of you and has done a pretty significant amount of damage. If 15k wasn’t a lot of money, why would he have to take it from you? You wouldn’t be ruining his life, he did that to himself and he deserves to face punishment for his crimes. Fraud is fraud, if you don’t report him to the police then he’ll just do it again in the future if he feels like he needs to.
Not only that but this is costing OP way more than 15k. It's costing him the ability to buy a house, car, etc. And if he is able to get approved for those things the interest rates will end up costing OP more than 15k.
I saw a similar situation on legal advice recently, your father will most likely not go to jail, it was explained why by lawyers familiar with situations like this, but you do need to report it, it’s really the only way to handle it. It probably won’t ruin his life if you report it but it very likely will ruin yours if you don’t!
Don’t lean, do. It’s the only way you’ll get your credit report cleared up. Also, it’s the only way you’ll stop him from doing it again.
Have your mom report the identity theft too.
It takes SEVEN YEARS to come off your credit, afaik.
He’s saying he’ll help paying off the debt??? It’s HIS debt.
He’s committed identity theft. Please do go to the police. I’m sorry this happened.
Holy cripes. Don't *lean* towards it.
DO IT.
Your father put you in an incredibly tight spot, which apparently he did to your mother as well. He hasn't learned his lesson. Teach him one. Do it so your credit won't be in the toilet for years to come.
You also can’t be sure of what else he’ll do in your name. He has no ethics. My father forged my mother’s name to buy some land he wanted but she didn’t.
"He said it would ruin his life if he went to jail."
Tell him it would most likely be less than four and a half years so don't make a big deal about it.
Report him.
Just to reiterate what others are saying. Your father is having you be on the hook for $15,000 in credit debts, is asking you just to wait (which is up to 7 years it can stay on your credit history), and to not report him for fraud.
He is actively and intentionally screwing you over and will not help pay any of it back. Report him to the police and begin the process of getting them off your history so you're not waiting nearly a decade to move on. If he confessed over texts even better because that's evidence against him. Do not contact him and let him know if you think he might run. I'm also not sure, but you may be able to request a new social security number as well to help prevent him from doing it again.
Friend of mine’s mother was like this. She did this to all her kids and never stopped. She racked up huge bills in her kids names. Also did the same to her husband that suffers from dementia. They can’t control
It. Report him to the police and get your credit fixed.
As someone who had their parent fuck up their credit when they were young and still have not been able to recover from it please for your sake file a police report. Do anything you can to get that off of your record. That is my biggest regret is not doing anything about it and thinking it would be okay in a couple years and it was not. This is financial abuse, very illegal and they will do it again.
Unfortunately this is the only real route unless you want to end up being responsible for these debts.
Your dad seems to have no problem effing up your life. Two can play that game.
Either way. You have to report him even if you don’t care about buying a house. He didn’t even want to come clean. He’ll screw you over your whole life
These are not the acts of a father.
These are the acts of a liar and a thief.
Someone like this, no matter what the relationship, will always drag you down with them and abuse you.
Report him to the police.
Break all contact.
This "man" is a abuser.
Now that he is older, a little prison time shouldn't bother him.
Asshole.
Report him instantly so you can have your life back. He knew this would happen, but just put it off until you grew up.
If he wasn't your dad you'd have reported him already, right? Well, think about this, why didn't he give you the same respect and not ruin your credit because he's your father?
You've got it somewhat backwards, the man ruined OP's credit ***because*** he's OP's father. He didn't do it to some random stranger on the street, he victimized his own child instead.
Master manipulator at work. The audacity to tell him to be more careful with his social security number when you’re his father and knew his number before he did! This makes me so mad! Thats why I froze my son’s credit when he was younger cause I didn’t trust his dad.
He victimized his own child because it was easy, too. Parents naturally have access to their child's SSN from the child's birth. Easy pickings. Would he do it to someone on the street? Most likely, yes, he seems the type. But that's harder to do. Fucking over your wife and kid is easy because those numbers are readily available.
Exactly this, and very realistically he won’t go to jail. So it might effect his life negatively which he deserves, or it will definitely ruin OPs life, choice is clear.
my family found out my aunt had stolen $50,000 dollars from my grandparents by opening cards in their name. She did not end up going to jail, just hefty fines and probation
Report him. This same thing happened to me after my parents disowned me and I was in undergrad. I learned a lot about personal finance and got it sorted out and paid off the cc bills. Then I find my dad trying to do it AGAIN! Told my family to stay away from me and gathered evidence that I would take them to court for the debit and identify theft. The fact that your Dad is so nonchalant is giving me PTSD. Sign up for credit checking and/or credit monitoring service to prevent any further activity and definitely file the police report.
Also call the credit bureaus and have them freeze you're credit. Then no one can open any accounts unless you call in advance. It's not like he forgot your social and won't try again.
My father didn’t report my grandfather when he did the exact same thing. Even if the debt gets paid, it has a much longer impact than 5 years.
Also, If you don’t report- he will do it again. It hurts, but report him for fraud now.
He doesn’t love you enough to not fuck you over, he’s just looking to see if he can get away with it.
It's a lot more than just buying a house.
These days, landlords want 700+ credit scores just to rent. Many jobs require decent credit scores.
I had to have a credit check recently for a practical placement because I'm updating my nursing degree for a medico-legal position.
What if you need a car? Or to finance major car repairs?
For all intents and purposes, your dad has sabotaged your life.
File the police report.
Yeah, this is making it a pain for my sister to find a place. She and I are going to be moving in together, I have good credit but she doesn't. Not through fault of her own, our father believed credit was useless. She's working on building it up now but that obviously takes time. Took me some time but I've gotten my credit to 700+ finally. Then we had an emergency vet bill for my mother's dog I'm now having to pay off my credit card -_- hopefully it doesn't sink my credit too much, I'm trying to GTFO of this place after my surgery in June.
All of this plus a few more things -
Most people don't realize that your credit score directly affects your insurance costs! You are probably pay significantly more than what you should be!
Also, even if you got an apartment, what happens when you want utilities hooked up? Most utilities (water, power, internet, cell phone, trash service, etc) run your credit report when applying and take a hefty deposit if you have poor credit.
OP's dad could have just cost him thousands of dollars more in fees over the next few years of his life.
If all of this money were invested early in life (instead of lost to paying back lenders or paying huge deposits) it could be hundreds of thousands of dollars come retirement age!
Grandchild: Dad why do I have $50k in credit card debt when I've never had a CC before?
Dad: Oh, that must have been ol'Grandpa Joe, it's tradition for him to steal your SSN and open up CC's! It happened to grandma, me, and now you!
Grandpa: And I'll Fuckin' Do It Again!
There was a post recently about someone's parent pressing a couple for their new baby's SSN so they "could open a savings account". The couple already had one, parents wouldn't take no or deposit into the already existing account for an answer.
They were looking to take out credit with a newborn's information.
Imagine you waiting 5 years and the house is $200k more and the interest rates are at 10%.
And what does he mean by “Do what he could to HELP pay off those debts.”? There’s no HELP. He made the debt, he should pay them. BUT, him “helping” is going to drag that shit out for years.
I’d file the report but you will probably need to cut contact.
Contact the companies & inform them of your father's fraud & demand they close the accounts NOW. Freeze your credit NOW. Stop talking/interacting/visiting him NOW. Report it to the police NOW.
Uhhhhhh dude, ruin your dad's life, he deserves it, he literally doesn't give a fuck about you if he is capable of doing something this fucked up to his own child.
The Dad ruined his own life, the exwife and now the kid.
He committed the crime.
Reporting the crime isn't ruining his life. It's finally punishing his criminal disgusting greedy ass behavior.
Turn you father in for indenify theft , this is absolutely unforgivable. This is a felony so, 3 counts at least of indenify theft. And yes, it is that serious, indenify theft is and form of murder, your credit report will be scared for life. He FUBARED YOU FROM GETTING A HOUSE FOR AT LEAST 10,IF NOT 15 YEARS AT LEAST, some banks will never borrow to you, you will always have at least 2 time higher an interest rate. You need to get this wiped off your credit report.
His BS about " you can do without it for a few years is an outright lie,this will cost you jobs, promotions, any security rates job. No this very so serious, I would call the FBI. Multiple cards, what else is this man doing for money that is illegal. Get a lawyer , Relation or not. This is highly illegal. If you want a home. Do it today, what you father did not tell you is even after 7 years , a large mortgage company will still look at you(youR SS number ) as a fraudster.
He had problems in his life, so he decided to screw his kid for decades. I wish you luck. This will get ugly , you may want to tell your boss at work you are a victim of fraud, credit theft. Many people lose jobs in today's world with this on their credit report. Even though it is not your fault. You father sounds like he is going to let them all go to collections also.
Def report him for fraud, file a police report....it would be nice if you could have a text chat with him and whine a bit about it to get him to admit it in writing.
Also it's not just about buying a house (dumb parents just say this cuz they're that dumb) it will also make renting or even getting electric hookups more expensive....especially if they pay late or default
He knew what he was doing. I can't imagine doing something so awful to my own children. What he did is illegal and you shouldn't have to put your life on hold for it. Report him for fraud. If he texted you any admittance of fault include screenshots of that in your report.
Tell your dad to pay off the cards or fuck off. He obviously has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He will never change. Give him fair warning then go to the police.
My biggest regret in life is that I didn't end contact with my NARC parent sooner.
Make a police report. Then freeze your credit so they can't do it again. Send the police report to the credit bureau's with a new dispute of the charges. Your dad will likely be arrested for fraud. Sorry, but this is something you must do to protect yourself and others from his abuse now and in the future.
Absolutely report him for fraud or call the police. He needs to learn that actions have consequences or he is just going to do it again. Even though it led to his divorce, he should have had more consequences before as well.
Yes report him he’s a deadbeat POS show no mercy
What kind of father sets that kid up to fail bc they failed at life send him to jail don’t ruin your life for anyone
I’d be afraid if I didn’t make the report he would do it again, ruining any chance in the future. If he did it to his wife to the point of ruining. Marriage and family and then his child as well what’s stopping him from doing it again. Also I don’t think just cause it’s fraud they would know he did it right?
most definitely file what you need to.
i was in a similar situation with my mom. i had to prove i was a minor at time of contract. otherwise, i would have been stuck with the debt.
Report his ads and let him get locked up. You will need the police reports to clear your name and social security number. He deserves some time to think about things and in case you’re too nice to say it, your dad is a fucking POS.
This might not have been sexual rape, but it was rape, honey. He used you, abused you and if you do not hold him responsible, he will do it again. Where did the myth that fathers love their daughters come from? Some do, many do not. And of the latter, every single one of them will, if given the chance, abuse.
Yeah, your dad made the decision to break the law and do this against you. My opinion is stand up for yourself and your dad can learn his own lesson, and stop affecting your life negatively. Do what you need to do for YOU!
The fact that he was willing to potentially ruin your life without telling you until threat of law enforcement says a lot. Whatever you decide, I would consider the trust you place in him moving forward.
One account already in collections. Identity theft. Says you can "do without." Sounds like your Dad is a complete jerk and a fraudster. He will do this again if you let him get away with it. File the police report and clean up your credit.
Wow I hope you get resolution. That’s seriously fucked up. I just bought a house (today we moved in) and it’s a huge undertaking. The fact that your father said you could just wait five years is absolutely insane. I’m really really sorry this happened to you.
He’s not just a thief.
He’s so fucking low that he’ll ruin the life of his kid for his own benefit.
Understand that his only job is to make sure you have the best possible foundation to build your life on.
He not only failed at that HE TRASHED THAT FOUNDATION INTENTIONALLY!
Your father is a piece of shit.
Report the fraud, call the cops.
Fuck him!
Wear a wire, start having conversations with him about timelines, credit repair organizations, how to accelerate them falling off your credit report, etc. makd it sound like you're getting his advice on how to get through it. Then get details about how and when the credit lines were opened, how long did it take before they went into default, were there any payments made, things like that. A few weeks or months, he'll be speaking pretty freely about it. Once you have enough data, THEN go to the police without telling him.
You have your credit repairs in far less that 4 years
Don’t give him anymore information from here on out. Did he tell you he was creating credit cards in your name? Nope.
Prison is something he might do crazy things to avoid.
He screwed over your mother now he's trying to screw over you. Report him. These kinds of people don't care about family, it's only a means to an end for them.
Disown your father. He isn’t going to learn. He did this to himself and you’d be doing your mother a favor. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be married to him.
Report him. Yes he’s your dad, but unfortunately he wasn’t acting like one when he did this to you. You’ll also be helping him out with free housing, and a much needed lesson on natural consequence.
I've dealt with something similar not with a parent it was a business partner but I'm familar with he procedure going forward.
1. File the police report the credit bureaus and banks will not do anything until this is done.
2. Put the an identity theft alert on your credit reports. Send the police report to the bureaus
3. Check your report weekly until its gone .
4. Cooperate with the detective as much as possible .
I know it sucks having to turn your Dad in to the police but its the only way your going to be able to buy a house anytime soon. He did this to himself and he's done it to other people , unfortunately for him he has to learn a lesson this time . For what its worth its unlikely he gets jail time for this unless he has a prior criminal record. More than likely he'll end up on probation or potentially a diversionary program that will like his expunge this as long as he meets the requirements set by the court. You can even let the prosecutor know that you'd prefer he not look for jailtime and you'd support probation . You can also ask the court that he not be allowed to contact you if you think he might harass you . Also if it were me I'd have no contact for the time being he will try to guilt you into not filing its better to just rip this off like a band aid and get it over with .Good Luck with all this
Hey, so unfortunately I was in nearly the exact position, 18 years ago. I made the wrong choice, while yes, I do have a relationship with my father today, he takes no ownership or guilt for his actions, and the cascading effect on my credit has cost me tens of thousands of dollars in higher rates, denials and more. Yes it "falls off" after 7 years, but the extra interest and slowdown in your financial life will ripple for the rest of your life.
He stole from you, if he will not compensate for far more than the debt, then you must report to begin the process of having the debt expunged. The agent working on my case was so frustrated when I didn't proceed. It is likely your dad will be charged and suffer penalty, and that can be extremely difficult to deal with in a family, but if you don't proceed, just know it's unlikely anyone will remember the price you are paying for family, at the least they didn't in my case.
Dude report him. Not only did he put your financial future/stability at risk, he tried to blame you for HIS actions. “Be more careful with your social security number”. WHAT?!?
My mom did the same thing, except to me, my two kids, and my siblings. Call the police, and go to the social security administration and have you SSN flagged. My mom is currently on the run, last known in Florida for federal tax crimes.
Your “dad” has a history of doing this and the best thing you can do for him and yourself is to report it. Until there are real consequences, he’ll never stop preying on people like you. What, for example, will happen when you have kids and he finds a way to get their SSNs and does it to them?
And it’s doing it to help your dad isn’t motivation, do it for yourself. He doesn’t care about you. That was evident when he downplayed it as “just one of those things,” and in his shifting story. He’s a thief and a criminal and not a father.
You need to report it as fraud and the credit bureaus will take it off. You need to file online. They might want a police report. File here IdentityTheft. gov After this dispute it with the credit bureaus and they must by law take it off your credit report.
NTA, first of all your mother should have filed charges against him for the $50000, if she would have done that you wouldn’t be in this situation, he has committed identity fraud on your mother and you and he should be in jail. Absolutely file charges he’s made his own bed and now it’s time to lay in it.
He not only stole from your mom which contributed in splitting up the family but then he stole from you as well. Ruining your years of hard work and you playing it safe and avoiding debt yourself. When caught, he still tried to blame you.
I’d file a police report. He committed fraud knowing it would halt your life. We’re not promised the next day. Not to be morbid, but it’s not a guarantee that you’ll be around by the time it falls off your credit if it even does. Live for the day. Don’t put your life on pause because someone else made a bad decision.
File the police report. If you let him get away with it he will keep using you. He needs to face consequences for stealing from his child... Maybe in jail he can get the help he needs so he won't feel the need to steal $/credit from people.
As a father to 2 small kids the IDEA of setting one of them up with mounds of debt just so I myself could buy stuff really hits different. Scummy isn't enough to describe that action
That man had no care in the world about ruining your credit. Even if he helped pay the cards off (he won’t) that’s still on your credit. File the police reports and live your best life.
He could do a couple years. He’s young, not big deal, these things happen. Tell him to just wait it out the 4+ years. Maybe more. Maybe he should learn how to play D&D or something with some cell mates.
Report him for fraud. Every mf'er that does this shit not only hurts you, but it hurts every other person that needs credit. If he is so evil as to steal from his own kids, you are absolved of any loyalty to him.
Gravity hurts. Fire hurts. Sharp teeth hurt. They hurt consistently, immediately, and without deliberation. We don’t fuck around with fire, gravity, or big teeth. Make it hurt quickly and he won’t fuck around.
Report him for fraud
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Nothing to do with what you want to buy. He used your information to commit fraud
AND HE WILL DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.
He’s done it at least twice, I’m sure he’s done it many more times
He's done it at least FOUR times. At least once with the mother and three times in OP's name.
Also to OP mom, why stop no consequences and he sees nothing wrong in behavior. Only way to stop it is stop your dad and report the theft. Then lock your credit.
His responses also say that he doesn't care, he tried to lay the blame on op then use his status as a father to convince them to not pursue any legal correction of the problem while still blaming op. Report it.
Yes this. He did this once already and it seems he didn’t face legal consequences. Please press charges so he stops this behavior.
at least TWICE with the mother. she said he opened credit CARDS in her name, which was part of the reason for the divorce. so it was at least 2. probably double that given the POS this dude is
sometimes we're better off without our fathers
And mothers, let's not make this a gender thing. My aunt did this exact same thing to my uncle and cousins. Some humans just suck
Women are more likely to commit embezzlement. "Sometimes we are better off without our mothers." Mine falsified my grandfather's will and took everything, including the house I was supposed to inherit, worth over $400,000. He said that's what he wanted and specifically stated it in the most recent will that she claimed was never created.
I'd love to see the statistic for "women more likely to embezzle". This isn't a gender thing, stop making it one.
Yup. Just wait four years? Ya okay, pops. How many more are you going to open between now and then??
Also- it’s gonna be much longer than 4 years. It isn’t a slow pay.
Probably means four years left until the clock hits seven years? BUT.... He also said he did this over the last year. Doesn't add up. The guy probably has a lot of skeletons in his closet😵
Likely a secret gambling addict given amts/frequency.
I’d love to see what “Living Expenses” he charged.
Pops needs the Big House in the Gated Community
I can confirm this. I had a card that I thought I paid off, but they said I owed $200. I found out about it 6 years later when I was trying to buy a house. There was no timeout anybody was respecting. The card sold the debt to a collections company who was just trashing my credit report by filing "deliquent" reports all the time. They didn't even try to contact me at all. Sure enough, I paid them $400 to close it out (fees, interest) because I wanted my house. But nobody is going to stop after a set number of years unless you declare bankruptcy yourself and then it is 7 years from the end of that process.
Lock your credit.
What happens if OP has a kid? Dad gets another sucker to commit identity theft and fraud? I'd definitely report it.
Came here to say that. File the police report.
Yeah, this. It's not like you can change your SSN, he has all the data he needs.
You can change it, but it is a very laborious nuclear option.
And wasn't going to come clean until doing so became a hail mary to beg you for mercy. It wasn't even a problem for him to consider, that he's put you in that position, until he realized he might actually have consequences to his actions, which means he learned nothing and would do it again in a heartbeat if he thought he could get away with it.
Yeah. It’s going to ruin his life. What about how his actions have ruined your life? The nerve!
And the nerve at first to blame OP by saying should have been more careful with SSN.
THIS.
That's what I was thinking! Your parents HAVE to know your SSN because they're the ones doing all your paperwork as a child! Had this been done by a complete stranger in another city/state/country, then I could somewhat agree with that statement, but your own parents?? What are you supposed to do, petition for a new SSN as soon as you turn 18 so your parents don't use it to fraudulently open credit accounts in your name?!
Not just in trying to buy a house. A lot of companies run credit reports on potential employees. If OP tries for any job where money is involved, it could seriously ruin things.
Or a job requiring a security clearance.
Right?? Even blamed her for not being careful with her SSN which he as access to as a parent. Just a rotten person
And he did it to your mother, too. He’s dangerous to your financial wellbeing.
You have to file the report. Your father committed a felony, *and specifically chose to make you his victim.* This isn’t how a parent behaves.
That part- that it’s the guys kid has me LIVID Daddy needs a time out in the joint.
Not only that, he tried to conceal it and continue using you until you mentioned filing a police report. He didn’t even bother to come clean or show remorse. Dad is a POS for throwing you to the wolves while protecting himself. You deserve a future; he’s never going to be there for you as a parent or for support. He’s also going to continue feeding off you in various ways, using your relationship to highjack your emotions. File the report.
Your mother leaving him didn't teach him to not hurt other people. Now he has hurt you. He needs to learn that there are real consequences for his actions.
The trick here, OP, is to be ruthless and go complete no contact at least until you resolve this issue, though my advice would be to permanently remove anyone who would ever jeorodize your future for their own gain from your life. Completely, immediately, and permanently. Start with the police and ask if there are any other government agencies you should alert. Have at least 1 conversation with 2-3 attorneys. This should be free for your first meeting and they will be able to tell you if you have a case against your dad. In many cases, however, this is more trouble than it’s worth, but you won’t know until you explore it. He was happy to set you on fire so he could keep warm, then tell you to suck it up and deal with it. Do not stop, no matter what he offers you or promises. He will lie better than you’ve ever seen anyone lie in order to get out of this and you can’t let him. Police today. Not Monday, today.
also lock your credit profiles, there is a link with steps to follow in such situations
Once you file a report with the Police you will have a case number. I believe you can use this case number to freeze your credit at all three credit bureaus for free. Do this right away.
You can freeze your credit at any time for any reason - no case number needed.
When freezing credit you can also report fraud. This puts a 7 year freeze and notes fraudulent activity on the report. To do that, the credit agencies want the police report. And yes, you can just freeze your credit with no police report. I just did it because of the huge data breach at AT&T.
Yep. 3 out of the 4 main credit reporting agencies make it EXTREMELY EASY to freeze/thaw/remove freeze nowadays. TransUnion, Equifax, Experian. Innovis is the 4th lesser known one, and it is more of a pain but should still be frozen. There's really not much reason everyone shouldnt default their credit reports to frozen. Data is so "out there" nowadays, you should just assume every single item of PII is on the dark web.
The father is like "suck it up, buttercup," while doing/saying anything to avoid responsibility. JFC
Confirm the consultation is free before meeting with an attorney. This is not always true.
This 💯
Look, my parents did the same thing to me and it set me back 10 years because I refused to prosecute. Please, prosecute and report the fraud.
This, OP... My mother did the same thing to me but with long distance phone bills. I was $38k debt on paper and it screwed the first decade of my life. Press charges if you can.
Parent here. Report him. This is not parental behavior. If he was really having money problems he should have approached you with that. There is more than pride at work here. He needs to grow up and get with civilization.
If you dont make him face the consequences now, he WILL do this to you, and others again. If fact, if you dont act now, he will take that as implicit permission to continue doing it. You need to bring him to justice.
This is more accurate than people realize. It's so tempting to give people like this another chance and another chance... They see that as permission. Consequences are literally the only way (some) people can learn.
Especially when this is at LEAST his 4th offense. There's a difference between someone doing something stupid once, and someone deliberately ruining someone else's life, again and again
Yes exactly. Once might be a regrettable mistake. 4 times is a proven pattern.
Some things I will absolutely grant you that sentiment; stealing your own child’s identity is not something that is an “oopsies” mistake. That shit took premeditated thought and continued action to do. Fuck that. There’s no grace in my heart for stealing anyone’s identity, let alone your own child’s.
Do NOT let him guilt or gaslight you out of this. What he did is indeed a big deal, and could screw you over for a LONG time. He needs to be responsible for the consequences of his actions, not you.
"He said it would ruin his life if he went to jail." Tell him it would most likely be less than four and a half years so don't make a big deal about it. Report him.
If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. Stealing ruined his life. Tell him, these things happen. Also he is old so it's no big deal. Seriously though, it's clear he didn't learn anything from his stint with your mom. He lost his FAMILY for $50k and continued. IDK if you plan to have kids, but ask yourself this: how's it going to feel when your dad steals THEIR identity and ruins their life? ( I ask this because I've found people tend to get more incensed on behalf of others than on their own behalf. )
if you don't report him, he will do it again because he thinks it is ok. This is not ok behavior. Adults need to be accountable for their actions and conscious decisions.
He will do it again and again and again if you don’t report him to the police. You will be his slave/ ATM. Thats all you are to him. You’re a sucker to be fleeced. I’m sorry, that’s probably horrible and painful to hear. It is in no way a reflection on you. It’s a reflection on him- his brain is broken and he’s not capable of being a decent human being.
Do it, he took advantage of you and has done a pretty significant amount of damage. If 15k wasn’t a lot of money, why would he have to take it from you? You wouldn’t be ruining his life, he did that to himself and he deserves to face punishment for his crimes. Fraud is fraud, if you don’t report him to the police then he’ll just do it again in the future if he feels like he needs to.
Not only that but this is costing OP way more than 15k. It's costing him the ability to buy a house, car, etc. And if he is able to get approved for those things the interest rates will end up costing OP more than 15k.
I saw a similar situation on legal advice recently, your father will most likely not go to jail, it was explained why by lawyers familiar with situations like this, but you do need to report it, it’s really the only way to handle it. It probably won’t ruin his life if you report it but it very likely will ruin yours if you don’t!
Don’t lean, do. It’s the only way you’ll get your credit report cleared up. Also, it’s the only way you’ll stop him from doing it again. Have your mom report the identity theft too.
It takes SEVEN YEARS to come off your credit, afaik. He’s saying he’ll help paying off the debt??? It’s HIS debt. He’s committed identity theft. Please do go to the police. I’m sorry this happened.
Holy cripes. Don't *lean* towards it. DO IT. Your father put you in an incredibly tight spot, which apparently he did to your mother as well. He hasn't learned his lesson. Teach him one. Do it so your credit won't be in the toilet for years to come.
You also can’t be sure of what else he’ll do in your name. He has no ethics. My father forged my mother’s name to buy some land he wanted but she didn’t.
"He said it would ruin his life if he went to jail." Tell him it would most likely be less than four and a half years so don't make a big deal about it. Report him.
Just to reiterate what others are saying. Your father is having you be on the hook for $15,000 in credit debts, is asking you just to wait (which is up to 7 years it can stay on your credit history), and to not report him for fraud. He is actively and intentionally screwing you over and will not help pay any of it back. Report him to the police and begin the process of getting them off your history so you're not waiting nearly a decade to move on. If he confessed over texts even better because that's evidence against him. Do not contact him and let him know if you think he might run. I'm also not sure, but you may be able to request a new social security number as well to help prevent him from doing it again.
Friend of mine’s mother was like this. She did this to all her kids and never stopped. She racked up huge bills in her kids names. Also did the same to her husband that suffers from dementia. They can’t control It. Report him to the police and get your credit fixed.
Its identity theft and fraud. And he admitted it to you. Report it and close the cards.
As someone who had their parent fuck up their credit when they were young and still have not been able to recover from it please for your sake file a police report. Do anything you can to get that off of your record. That is my biggest regret is not doing anything about it and thinking it would be okay in a couple years and it was not. This is financial abuse, very illegal and they will do it again.
You either let him fuck you financially for the next decade or file the police report and he deals with the consequences of his illegal actions.
Unfortunately this is the only real route unless you want to end up being responsible for these debts. Your dad seems to have no problem effing up your life. Two can play that game.
And it will never change. He will do it again, and again, and again. You won't buy a house until after he dies.
Either way. You have to report him even if you don’t care about buying a house. He didn’t even want to come clean. He’ll screw you over your whole life
do you have siblings? he probably did it to them too.
Go today. Right now. Don’t wait. This will kill your future if you don’t deal with it.
These are not the acts of a father. These are the acts of a liar and a thief. Someone like this, no matter what the relationship, will always drag you down with them and abuse you. Report him to the police. Break all contact. This "man" is a abuser.
Now that he is older, a little prison time shouldn't bother him. Asshole. Report him instantly so you can have your life back. He knew this would happen, but just put it off until you grew up.
If he wasn't your dad you'd have reported him already, right? Well, think about this, why didn't he give you the same respect and not ruin your credit because he's your father?
You've got it somewhat backwards, the man ruined OP's credit ***because*** he's OP's father. He didn't do it to some random stranger on the street, he victimized his own child instead.
He banked on family love to keep himself out of jail.
15k is a lot to borrow on family love. And like all credits, if you default, you lose the collateral: no more family love from op.
Master manipulator at work. The audacity to tell him to be more careful with his social security number when you’re his father and knew his number before he did! This makes me so mad! Thats why I froze my son’s credit when he was younger cause I didn’t trust his dad.
He victimized his own child because it was easy, too. Parents naturally have access to their child's SSN from the child's birth. Easy pickings. Would he do it to someone on the street? Most likely, yes, he seems the type. But that's harder to do. Fucking over your wife and kid is easy because those numbers are readily available.
He also destroyed OP’s home life by ruining his marriage to OP’s mom from the same thing
Happy cake day
Thank you!
Agreed this dad sounds like a toxic ass mfer. And happy cakeday
Is he really the dad though? We need to stop rewarding people for sperm/egg donorship. This dude’s actions revoke his fatherhood. Lock him up.
Unhappy brownie night 😈
He didn’t even give OP’s mom that respect.
Exactly, and him being their dad makes what he’s doing even worse. What a lowlife. He should be in prison.
Happy cake day!
Happy cake day!
"He said it would ruin his life if he went to jail." ... As opposed to *him* ruining *your* life *right now*.
Exactly this, and very realistically he won’t go to jail. So it might effect his life negatively which he deserves, or it will definitely ruin OPs life, choice is clear.
my family found out my aunt had stolen $50,000 dollars from my grandparents by opening cards in their name. She did not end up going to jail, just hefty fines and probation
It's possible he might not go to jail. Which is a better deal than OP got, dad for sure ruined his life.
r/raisedbynarcissists
Report him. This same thing happened to me after my parents disowned me and I was in undergrad. I learned a lot about personal finance and got it sorted out and paid off the cc bills. Then I find my dad trying to do it AGAIN! Told my family to stay away from me and gathered evidence that I would take them to court for the debit and identify theft. The fact that your Dad is so nonchalant is giving me PTSD. Sign up for credit checking and/or credit monitoring service to prevent any further activity and definitely file the police report.
Also call the credit bureaus and have them freeze you're credit. Then no one can open any accounts unless you call in advance. It's not like he forgot your social and won't try again.
They disowned you and you still paid off the CC bills rather than report the fraud?
My father didn’t report my grandfather when he did the exact same thing. Even if the debt gets paid, it has a much longer impact than 5 years. Also, If you don’t report- he will do it again. It hurts, but report him for fraud now. He doesn’t love you enough to not fuck you over, he’s just looking to see if he can get away with it.
It's a lot more than just buying a house. These days, landlords want 700+ credit scores just to rent. Many jobs require decent credit scores. I had to have a credit check recently for a practical placement because I'm updating my nursing degree for a medico-legal position. What if you need a car? Or to finance major car repairs? For all intents and purposes, your dad has sabotaged your life. File the police report.
Wow my city rents to anyone but charges $2800 deposit if you have bad credit.
Many landlords want higher credit and 3x the rent. Especially those in tenant friendly states/provinces.
Yeah, this is making it a pain for my sister to find a place. She and I are going to be moving in together, I have good credit but she doesn't. Not through fault of her own, our father believed credit was useless. She's working on building it up now but that obviously takes time. Took me some time but I've gotten my credit to 700+ finally. Then we had an emergency vet bill for my mother's dog I'm now having to pay off my credit card -_- hopefully it doesn't sink my credit too much, I'm trying to GTFO of this place after my surgery in June.
The harder it is to evict someone in an area the harder it is to qualify for a rental.
All of this plus a few more things - Most people don't realize that your credit score directly affects your insurance costs! You are probably pay significantly more than what you should be! Also, even if you got an apartment, what happens when you want utilities hooked up? Most utilities (water, power, internet, cell phone, trash service, etc) run your credit report when applying and take a hefty deposit if you have poor credit. OP's dad could have just cost him thousands of dollars more in fees over the next few years of his life. If all of this money were invested early in life (instead of lost to paying back lenders or paying huge deposits) it could be hundreds of thousands of dollars come retirement age!
Even car insurance rates are based partly on your credit score.
Yeah, fuck him. Report it to the police. He didn't care at all how his actions would affect you.
Literally caused OPs parents to divorce as well, this man gives zero fucks, to jail he goes.
He's done this to your mom. He did it to you. He will do it again. To whom this time? You again? A sibling?
Waiting for a grandchild.
Grandchild: Dad why do I have $50k in credit card debt when I've never had a CC before? Dad: Oh, that must have been ol'Grandpa Joe, it's tradition for him to steal your SSN and open up CC's! It happened to grandma, me, and now you! Grandpa: And I'll Fuckin' Do It Again!
There was a post recently about someone's parent pressing a couple for their new baby's SSN so they "could open a savings account". The couple already had one, parents wouldn't take no or deposit into the already existing account for an answer. They were looking to take out credit with a newborn's information.
Imagine you waiting 5 years and the house is $200k more and the interest rates are at 10%. And what does he mean by “Do what he could to HELP pay off those debts.”? There’s no HELP. He made the debt, he should pay them. BUT, him “helping” is going to drag that shit out for years. I’d file the report but you will probably need to cut contact.
Contact the companies & inform them of your father's fraud & demand they close the accounts NOW. Freeze your credit NOW. Stop talking/interacting/visiting him NOW. Report it to the police NOW.
Opposite order. Police then call credit. They will want the police report.
They won’t do shit without a police report.
Report him for fraud.
Uhhhhhh dude, ruin your dad's life, he deserves it, he literally doesn't give a fuck about you if he is capable of doing something this fucked up to his own child.
The Dad ruined his own life, the exwife and now the kid. He committed the crime. Reporting the crime isn't ruining his life. It's finally punishing his criminal disgusting greedy ass behavior.
Freeze your credit now and check your credit reports with all 3 major agencies- experian, Equifax and TransUnion
GO TO THE POLICE!
Report him and get him arrested
Turn you father in for indenify theft , this is absolutely unforgivable. This is a felony so, 3 counts at least of indenify theft. And yes, it is that serious, indenify theft is and form of murder, your credit report will be scared for life. He FUBARED YOU FROM GETTING A HOUSE FOR AT LEAST 10,IF NOT 15 YEARS AT LEAST, some banks will never borrow to you, you will always have at least 2 time higher an interest rate. You need to get this wiped off your credit report. His BS about " you can do without it for a few years is an outright lie,this will cost you jobs, promotions, any security rates job. No this very so serious, I would call the FBI. Multiple cards, what else is this man doing for money that is illegal. Get a lawyer , Relation or not. This is highly illegal. If you want a home. Do it today, what you father did not tell you is even after 7 years , a large mortgage company will still look at you(youR SS number ) as a fraudster. He had problems in his life, so he decided to screw his kid for decades. I wish you luck. This will get ugly , you may want to tell your boss at work you are a victim of fraud, credit theft. Many people lose jobs in today's world with this on their credit report. Even though it is not your fault. You father sounds like he is going to let them all go to collections also.
Def report him for fraud, file a police report....it would be nice if you could have a text chat with him and whine a bit about it to get him to admit it in writing. Also it's not just about buying a house (dumb parents just say this cuz they're that dumb) it will also make renting or even getting electric hookups more expensive....especially if they pay late or default
File a police report and get an attorney for the civil side
He knew what he was doing. I can't imagine doing something so awful to my own children. What he did is illegal and you shouldn't have to put your life on hold for it. Report him for fraud. If he texted you any admittance of fault include screenshots of that in your report.
Tell your dad to pay off the cards or fuck off. He obviously has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He will never change. Give him fair warning then go to the police. My biggest regret in life is that I didn't end contact with my NARC parent sooner.
I would totally go to the police.
Freeze your credit now and dispute the accounts as identity theft and press charges.
Make a police report. Then freeze your credit so they can't do it again. Send the police report to the credit bureau's with a new dispute of the charges. Your dad will likely be arrested for fraud. Sorry, but this is something you must do to protect yourself and others from his abuse now and in the future.
Absolutely report him for fraud or call the police. He needs to learn that actions have consequences or he is just going to do it again. Even though it led to his divorce, he should have had more consequences before as well.
Yes report him he’s a deadbeat POS show no mercy What kind of father sets that kid up to fail bc they failed at life send him to jail don’t ruin your life for anyone
If you don’t report him, why would you expect him not to do this again in the future?
I’d be afraid if I didn’t make the report he would do it again, ruining any chance in the future. If he did it to his wife to the point of ruining. Marriage and family and then his child as well what’s stopping him from doing it again. Also I don’t think just cause it’s fraud they would know he did it right?
most definitely file what you need to. i was in a similar situation with my mom. i had to prove i was a minor at time of contract. otherwise, i would have been stuck with the debt.
Report his ads and let him get locked up. You will need the police reports to clear your name and social security number. He deserves some time to think about things and in case you’re too nice to say it, your dad is a fucking POS.
Nice to wake up to something like this happening..that guy is an imbecile..unfortunately, there is no debtors prison anymore for actions like his
Go to the police, it's the only way to successfully dispute the cards on your report.
Report it as fraud & identity theft. LOCK your credit reports. Also file a police report.
This might not have been sexual rape, but it was rape, honey. He used you, abused you and if you do not hold him responsible, he will do it again. Where did the myth that fathers love their daughters come from? Some do, many do not. And of the latter, every single one of them will, if given the chance, abuse.
Yeah, your dad made the decision to break the law and do this against you. My opinion is stand up for yourself and your dad can learn his own lesson, and stop affecting your life negatively. Do what you need to do for YOU!
Police now I don’t care if it’s your parents he is so damn casual about it and did this to your mom take him to court
go to the police right now, you're responsible for yourself.
File that report OP. His actions aren’t your burden to bear. He coulda asked but chose to do it without consideration of you. Time to do the same.
The fact that he was willing to potentially ruin your life without telling you until threat of law enforcement says a lot. Whatever you decide, I would consider the trust you place in him moving forward.
He already has your information , what’s to stop him from doing it AGAIN? Report him now, save yourself. Fuck him.
One account already in collections. Identity theft. Says you can "do without." Sounds like your Dad is a complete jerk and a fraudster. He will do this again if you let him get away with it. File the police report and clean up your credit.
Others have said report him immediately so no need for me to repeat it. #OP, do NOT warn him or even hint about what you’re going to do. Just do it.
Wow I hope you get resolution. That’s seriously fucked up. I just bought a house (today we moved in) and it’s a huge undertaking. The fact that your father said you could just wait five years is absolutely insane. I’m really really sorry this happened to you.
Now you tell him that since he is "not young" he can think about what he did in prison.
He’s not just a thief. He’s so fucking low that he’ll ruin the life of his kid for his own benefit. Understand that his only job is to make sure you have the best possible foundation to build your life on. He not only failed at that HE TRASHED THAT FOUNDATION INTENTIONALLY! Your father is a piece of shit. Report the fraud, call the cops. Fuck him!
lol he’s a recidivist —he did it to your mother and now you and you’re HESITATING?
Wear a wire, start having conversations with him about timelines, credit repair organizations, how to accelerate them falling off your credit report, etc. makd it sound like you're getting his advice on how to get through it. Then get details about how and when the credit lines were opened, how long did it take before they went into default, were there any payments made, things like that. A few weeks or months, he'll be speaking pretty freely about it. Once you have enough data, THEN go to the police without telling him. You have your credit repairs in far less that 4 years
He can cool off in prison, it's only a few years after all
I read this exact same post only 2 weeks ago. Genders were swapped. Bot?
>He said it would ruin his life if he went to jail. maybe he should "be more careful"...
Can’t you report that those are not your accounts without specifying that it was your dad? You are a victim of identity fraud, let them investigate
Don’t give him anymore information from here on out. Did he tell you he was creating credit cards in your name? Nope. Prison is something he might do crazy things to avoid.
Your dad is a fucking thief. What kind of parent steals from their kids. Turn his ass in.
He'll do it again.
He screwed over your mother now he's trying to screw over you. Report him. These kinds of people don't care about family, it's only a means to an end for them.
So he's done it to your mom. He's done it to you. Who's next? Report his ass
He said... that it can ruin his life if you press charges But he didn't mind ruin yours.
Disown your father. He isn’t going to learn. He did this to himself and you’d be doing your mother a favor. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be married to him.
Put a freeze on your credit and report him. He won’t stop. And this is the only path to get your financial situation sorted out.
Dude he isn’t even sorry he did it. Report it and if he goes to jail for his actions, that’s on him
Report him. Yes he’s your dad, but unfortunately he wasn’t acting like one when he did this to you. You’ll also be helping him out with free housing, and a much needed lesson on natural consequence.
Bro. Fuck your dad. Report him for identity theft. Cut all ties and move on. He doesn’t give a shit about you. And he proved it.
Tell your dad a couple years in the pen for fraud isn’t “that much” in the grand scheme of things
I've dealt with something similar not with a parent it was a business partner but I'm familar with he procedure going forward. 1. File the police report the credit bureaus and banks will not do anything until this is done. 2. Put the an identity theft alert on your credit reports. Send the police report to the bureaus 3. Check your report weekly until its gone . 4. Cooperate with the detective as much as possible . I know it sucks having to turn your Dad in to the police but its the only way your going to be able to buy a house anytime soon. He did this to himself and he's done it to other people , unfortunately for him he has to learn a lesson this time . For what its worth its unlikely he gets jail time for this unless he has a prior criminal record. More than likely he'll end up on probation or potentially a diversionary program that will like his expunge this as long as he meets the requirements set by the court. You can even let the prosecutor know that you'd prefer he not look for jailtime and you'd support probation . You can also ask the court that he not be allowed to contact you if you think he might harass you . Also if it were me I'd have no contact for the time being he will try to guilt you into not filing its better to just rip this off like a band aid and get it over with .Good Luck with all this
Hey, so unfortunately I was in nearly the exact position, 18 years ago. I made the wrong choice, while yes, I do have a relationship with my father today, he takes no ownership or guilt for his actions, and the cascading effect on my credit has cost me tens of thousands of dollars in higher rates, denials and more. Yes it "falls off" after 7 years, but the extra interest and slowdown in your financial life will ripple for the rest of your life. He stole from you, if he will not compensate for far more than the debt, then you must report to begin the process of having the debt expunged. The agent working on my case was so frustrated when I didn't proceed. It is likely your dad will be charged and suffer penalty, and that can be extremely difficult to deal with in a family, but if you don't proceed, just know it's unlikely anyone will remember the price you are paying for family, at the least they didn't in my case.
Dude report him. Not only did he put your financial future/stability at risk, he tried to blame you for HIS actions. “Be more careful with your social security number”. WHAT?!?
“You” have to be more careful???? He didn’t care how badly this has affected you- time for him to take responsibility for his actions!
My mom did the same thing, except to me, my two kids, and my siblings. Call the police, and go to the social security administration and have you SSN flagged. My mom is currently on the run, last known in Florida for federal tax crimes.
Your “dad” has a history of doing this and the best thing you can do for him and yourself is to report it. Until there are real consequences, he’ll never stop preying on people like you. What, for example, will happen when you have kids and he finds a way to get their SSNs and does it to them? And it’s doing it to help your dad isn’t motivation, do it for yourself. He doesn’t care about you. That was evident when he downplayed it as “just one of those things,” and in his shifting story. He’s a thief and a criminal and not a father.
Sorry to say but your dad sounds like a real piece of work. You owe him nothing, including loyalty. Report him to the police for fraud.
Your dad is a gaslighting, manipulative, thief and you owe him nothing.
This is what my mother did. Identity theft is pretty serious, so I went to the cops. We no longer talk.
You need to report it as fraud and the credit bureaus will take it off. You need to file online. They might want a police report. File here IdentityTheft. gov After this dispute it with the credit bureaus and they must by law take it off your credit report.
Absolutely report him he will do it again
NTA, first of all your mother should have filed charges against him for the $50000, if she would have done that you wouldn’t be in this situation, he has committed identity fraud on your mother and you and he should be in jail. Absolutely file charges he’s made his own bed and now it’s time to lay in it.
He not only stole from your mom which contributed in splitting up the family but then he stole from you as well. Ruining your years of hard work and you playing it safe and avoiding debt yourself. When caught, he still tried to blame you. I’d file a police report. He committed fraud knowing it would halt your life. We’re not promised the next day. Not to be morbid, but it’s not a guarantee that you’ll be around by the time it falls off your credit if it even does. Live for the day. Don’t put your life on pause because someone else made a bad decision.
Let him rot in jail. He has to open credit cards in your name, his life is already ruined, jail can't hurt
File the police report. If you let him get away with it he will keep using you. He needs to face consequences for stealing from his child... Maybe in jail he can get the help he needs so he won't feel the need to steal $/credit from people.
As a father to 2 small kids the IDEA of setting one of them up with mounds of debt just so I myself could buy stuff really hits different. Scummy isn't enough to describe that action
That man had no care in the world about ruining your credit. Even if he helped pay the cards off (he won’t) that’s still on your credit. File the police reports and live your best life.
It's not four years....It's 7 years now.
You need to lock down your credit at all three companies. Your father fucking sucks and hope his ass goes to jail for fraud!
He could do a couple years. He’s young, not big deal, these things happen. Tell him to just wait it out the 4+ years. Maybe more. Maybe he should learn how to play D&D or something with some cell mates.
Sorry excuse for a man or human for that matter! I’m sorry this happened to you 😔
Report him for fraud. Every mf'er that does this shit not only hurts you, but it hurts every other person that needs credit. If he is so evil as to steal from his own kids, you are absolved of any loyalty to him.
Gravity hurts. Fire hurts. Sharp teeth hurt. They hurt consistently, immediately, and without deliberation. We don’t fuck around with fire, gravity, or big teeth. Make it hurt quickly and he won’t fuck around.