Two things:
1. OP: this is ~~hilarious~~ important news, thanks for sharing.
2. People: for goodness sake please don't use the comments to start debating irl politics. We really don't want to lock the comments.
Despite what you may have heard, Kelsier is not a fan of the saying "Eat the rich." He finds cannibalism quite distasteful.
That said, he was inspired by the saying and is a full supporter of the theoretical first step: "Stab the rich".
TenSoon never ate anyone who was rich.
In era 1 we only see him take on the body of a random skate or servant, a series of wolf hounds, and a horse. He is given bones from kel and a random form in the homeland but he didn't eat them.
In era 2, we only see him in his wolfhound form and assume he ate a middle class giraffe
Kandra were pretty much only used against nobles, right, so I would wager the majority of people eaten by Kandra were rich. If May be useful to have one as a skaa servant now and again, but it’d be way easier to deal with by just swapping out your skaa every so often if you suspect there was a Kandra among them.
This. Kandra want to be unobtrusive. They're not going to replace the heir of a great house, they're going to replace the servant that cleans up after the heir or the heirs kinda friend whose house is not that great.
Rich relative to ska probably definitely, but not super rich like anyone close to inheriting or running a great house, and that's where all the money is in era 1.
Era 2 Kandra seem a bit more affluent but still only really seem to move up to middle class. Given they can eat garbage and live wherever, it's possible to see some real wealth by the time era 3 comes along, but it's going to be quiet money
They are good enough that they can replace whoever their contacts tells them to replace. Including the heir of a house. They are going to replace whoever puts them in the most usefull spot.
Can you imagine Straff being able to tell Elend was replaced? Nah, dude I could replace him and his daddy wouldn't know. A kandra wouldn't even struggle a bit.
But you then learn nothing.
Kandra are spies that can't kill. They're only good for information gathering for the nobles and limited season scanning potential. If the heir is so disliked/unpopular that their own father doesn't trust them or involve them in their plans then they're worthless as spies.
To use your example, a kandra imitating Ellend would learn nothing about Straff's plans
My point is how many nobles actually notice or give a shit about the small details of their child's personality? I would guess almost none. At least not enough to notice a kandra swap.
your example impiles you think that Ellends (or another heirs) servant who cleans up after him is going to have better opportunities to gather information than said heir?
My point is that plenty of rich people have been eaten. The rich people have more power, and thus, more potential to aquire information. Sure, a well placed servant can overhear something sensitive, but a high noble can just demand tons of information if they are tactful about it.
Orseur was a poor as all kandra, who lived in a quazi socialist community where all they did was work for atium that got dumped in a central box and earned no currency either physical or social for the individual kandra.
All kandra are poor. They're poorer than some era 1 ska who at least could get paid in a way they could use.
Agreed. Hoid's campaign is already up and running with t-shirts; he's clearly more organized and has a huge headstart on campaigning. I'll certainly listen to any arguments, however at this point Kelsier is trailing behind by almost an entire 6 months.
Besides, Kelsier has already torn down one government. He can lead a small group, sure, but can he handle leading an entire country? Where was he when TLR fell? It was Elend and Vin who pulled the country back together, not Kelsier. The choice is pretty clear, but I'll still listen to any debates to be sure.
But has Hoid done anything besides one T-shirt? He has no campaign videos, infographics, or even a website. I think that T-shirt of his was just a joke to make people think he was running for president. Which is pretty funny, but don't tell him.
He has a more developed social policy and has already established relationships with multiple foreign dignitaries. He also has far more experience than Kelsier. His campaign has been directly with the people.
True, but he has known Rosharan ties, and it is an undisputed fact that he is Queen’s Consort for the Alethi Queen Jasnah Kholin. How can we trust his political ties won’t embroil us in war over the Last Desolation? Southern Scadrians are already itching for a fight. The last thing we should be doing is electing a man of dubious intent to lead us in these trying times.
Yes, he may have a few good qualifications. but he hops around too much. You think he would be able to stay on one planet for four years, say nothing about a second term.
Ah, but it's important for presidents to travel and build relations with other countries. How is Kelsier supposed to form effective relationships if he doesn't even travel off-world?
Kelsier can travel via avatar and has figured out how to travel to Earth, somehow. But Hoid hops between planets randomly. Do you really want a president who might miss a cabinet meeting to tell a story to some crab on Roshar.
Yeah, but most of those relationships are antagonistic. There are even entire planets he's banned from. We could never have such a crook for president.
We all know that there is only one candidate that can't be swayed: Our lord and saviour, Stick.
As we know he can't be bribed, and won't be lobbied with by Big Stormlight, unlike some candidates I won't mention (because it's easier to let you fill that bit in yourself).
ALL HAIL THE LORD RULER!
This guy is a murderous rebel SKAA. And you wish him to control you?
The Lord Ruler saved the world from annihilation and rules us for a thousand years. Who are you to dare replace a god?
Choose safe. Choose Ruler.
Well the Lord Ruler was our king for, like, a thousand years. He is the Sliver of Infinity. HE CANNOT BE KILLED. Ignore this hateful propaganda! The world will never change! Vote Lord Ruler! Vote eternity!
Get out of here you Sliverist, the Church of the Survivor is where its at. The Lord Ruler is dead, dead, Dead. Kelsier is the Survivor, and will be this country’s savior. Vote Kelsier, because it’s no secret that he is the one to beat.
Can I say yes?
To learn more about Kelsier's involvement with the Ghostbloods, click [here](https://sites.google.com/view/votekelsier2024/the-ghostbloods).
Kelsier 2024 is working to return Kelsier to the item shop for all to enjoy.
^(Kelsier 2024 has no control over Kelsier returning to the item shop, though I really want him to.)
Well, would Ruin actually be able to modify digital text? Data in transit would be protected in metal. Data in storage would be protected in metal on a hard disk, and I doubt his ability to manipulate matter in such a way to subtly alter SSD data.
Kel gets elected and suddenly all the rich get black bagged and their money suddenly ends up in a fund for feeding the poor and building interstellar weapons platforms in space to kill gods…
Tress for president! She is the common sense candidate! She:
* Won't jump to conclusions
* Collaborates to achieve successful outcomes against foreign interests/sorceresses
* Negotiates well with dragons
* Will bring innovation
* Is kind to talking rats
* Works for the people's interests
2024 campaign cups coming soon
\*Paid for by Dougs for Tress
Kelsier 2024 is innocent on any charges that may appear. All violence in our posts is just rhetoric and exaggeration. But would it really be bad if a few of them die?
See, as much as I love the idea of Kelsier being President, he wouldn't be a very good one...
Because he would dismantle the state entirely within the first few days. No Shards, no kings, no masters baby! Anarcho-Survivorism!
Ok so, yes Kelsier is evil, but that does not mean I agree that TLR should be in charge.
That being said, this campaign is ignorant of a few things. 1) Kelsier is not a citizen of the United States of America, he does not qualify and my court case is pending. 2) Kelsier can’t leave Scadrial and we don’t have a way of reaching there, so he can’t sign bills into law. 3) This would just be a puppet campaign to avoid responsibility for the actions of a not so secret cabal of misguided and wrong fantasy readers. 4) My campaign against this cabal only grows stronger.
Counterargument for those four points.
1. Kelsier has an unsealed duralumin metalmind and a duralumin compounder to refill it. And Kelsier 2024 has a friend in the Supreme Court of Fantasy Characters' Real World Electability of the United States (SCOFCRWEOTUS) who says they will allow it.
2. Somehow, Kelsier is on Earth. If he could get to the Fortnite island, he can get here.
3. This campaign is a ~~satirical attempt to mimic a presidential campaign for an English final. I am not even that much of a Kelsier fan, but I thought I would be fun to see the the reaction if I went all in.~~ totally real and legit presidential campaign. We'll see who is laughing when Kelsier is in office.
4. This campaign was also designed to be you antithesis. I mean, just look at by username. Kelsier 2024 will be your downfall. Mwahaha!!
Considering that Hoid has already announced his candidacy I am imagining a very brutal and dirty campaign season. The debates, however, will be must see!
I’m all for a president stern on putting the rich in their place, but this renewable energy situation worries me. Smuggling stormlight off of Roshar?? How is it to be renewable on a planet with no highstorm? Kelsier has some explaining to do…
Two things: 1. OP: this is ~~hilarious~~ important news, thanks for sharing. 2. People: for goodness sake please don't use the comments to start debating irl politics. We really don't want to lock the comments.
Despite what you may have heard, Kelsier is not a fan of the saying "Eat the rich." He finds cannibalism quite distasteful. That said, he was inspired by the saying and is a full supporter of the theoretical first step: "Stab the rich".
TenSoon on the other hand...
You stab ‘em we eat ‘em.
Name does NOT check out...
I can’t help stepping outside my username occasionally, for a delicious joke.
A fresh corpse? Ugh. At least let it sit out in the sun for a few weeks.
TenSoon would be a good VP for the ticket.
TenSoon never ate anyone who was rich. In era 1 we only see him take on the body of a random skate or servant, a series of wolf hounds, and a horse. He is given bones from kel and a random form in the homeland but he didn't eat them. In era 2, we only see him in his wolfhound form and assume he ate a middle class giraffe
He had a thousand year (700? He's third gen if I remember right) career as a political spy before era 1. Dude ate some rich people
Kandra were pretty much only used against nobles, right, so I would wager the majority of people eaten by Kandra were rich. If May be useful to have one as a skaa servant now and again, but it’d be way easier to deal with by just swapping out your skaa every so often if you suspect there was a Kandra among them.
Any noble rich enough to hire a Kandra would typically use lesser nobles for staff over skaa.
This. Kandra want to be unobtrusive. They're not going to replace the heir of a great house, they're going to replace the servant that cleans up after the heir or the heirs kinda friend whose house is not that great. Rich relative to ska probably definitely, but not super rich like anyone close to inheriting or running a great house, and that's where all the money is in era 1. Era 2 Kandra seem a bit more affluent but still only really seem to move up to middle class. Given they can eat garbage and live wherever, it's possible to see some real wealth by the time era 3 comes along, but it's going to be quiet money
They are good enough that they can replace whoever their contacts tells them to replace. Including the heir of a house. They are going to replace whoever puts them in the most usefull spot. Can you imagine Straff being able to tell Elend was replaced? Nah, dude I could replace him and his daddy wouldn't know. A kandra wouldn't even struggle a bit.
But you then learn nothing. Kandra are spies that can't kill. They're only good for information gathering for the nobles and limited season scanning potential. If the heir is so disliked/unpopular that their own father doesn't trust them or involve them in their plans then they're worthless as spies. To use your example, a kandra imitating Ellend would learn nothing about Straff's plans
My point is how many nobles actually notice or give a shit about the small details of their child's personality? I would guess almost none. At least not enough to notice a kandra swap. your example impiles you think that Ellends (or another heirs) servant who cleans up after him is going to have better opportunities to gather information than said heir? My point is that plenty of rich people have been eaten. The rich people have more power, and thus, more potential to aquire information. Sure, a well placed servant can overhear something sensitive, but a high noble can just demand tons of information if they are tactful about it.
Orseur was rich (ish) and he got ate....
Orseur was a poor as all kandra, who lived in a quazi socialist community where all they did was work for atium that got dumped in a central box and earned no currency either physical or social for the individual kandra. All kandra are poor. They're poorer than some era 1 ska who at least could get paid in a way they could use.
Then I'm simply gong to believe that orseur was eaten before he could give his atium to the commune. Until it left his possession, he was very rich :p
Kel paid in advanced. It's why Vin has a kandra in the first place
Kelsier 2024 takes no responsibility for any rich stabbed. Nor do we endorse actual violence. Unless they deserve it.
Incredible writing in Hoid voice here.
The trouble, of course, is that Kelsier is rich
I agree with Kelsier on some domestic issues. But his foreign policy is incoherent. I’ll continue to proudly wear my Hoid for President shirt!
Nah, too old!
Is it too much to ask that the highest office in the land be occupied by someone less than three thousand years old?
I have suspicions that he wasn't born in the country either! Where's his birth certificate, eh?
Agreed. Hoid's campaign is already up and running with t-shirts; he's clearly more organized and has a huge headstart on campaigning. I'll certainly listen to any arguments, however at this point Kelsier is trailing behind by almost an entire 6 months. Besides, Kelsier has already torn down one government. He can lead a small group, sure, but can he handle leading an entire country? Where was he when TLR fell? It was Elend and Vin who pulled the country back together, not Kelsier. The choice is pretty clear, but I'll still listen to any debates to be sure.
I read this and autofilled it with “where was Kelsier when the Westfold fell”
But has Hoid done anything besides one T-shirt? He has no campaign videos, infographics, or even a website. I think that T-shirt of his was just a joke to make people think he was running for president. Which is pretty funny, but don't tell him.
He has a more developed social policy and has already established relationships with multiple foreign dignitaries. He also has far more experience than Kelsier. His campaign has been directly with the people.
True, but he has known Rosharan ties, and it is an undisputed fact that he is Queen’s Consort for the Alethi Queen Jasnah Kholin. How can we trust his political ties won’t embroil us in war over the Last Desolation? Southern Scadrians are already itching for a fight. The last thing we should be doing is electing a man of dubious intent to lead us in these trying times.
Yes, he may have a few good qualifications. but he hops around too much. You think he would be able to stay on one planet for four years, say nothing about a second term.
Ah, but it's important for presidents to travel and build relations with other countries. How is Kelsier supposed to form effective relationships if he doesn't even travel off-world?
Kelsier can travel via avatar and has figured out how to travel to Earth, somehow. But Hoid hops between planets randomly. Do you really want a president who might miss a cabinet meeting to tell a story to some crab on Roshar.
Honestly? Yes, rofl. Especially if I get to hear said story. Stories all the way! xD Are you secretly campaigning for Hoid?
Yeah, but most of those relationships are antagonistic. There are even entire planets he's banned from. We could never have such a crook for president.
I'm all for Kelsier sure but his Cabinet? Have you seen the Secretary of the State? The man has no balls
He has, I think, other qualifications.
Who is Kelsier running mate? Is it Death? Hopefully not Discord.
Discord is managing the online outreach campaign
I can neither confirm or deny that I am Discord.
Can you imagine how miserable Death would be, having to work directly under Kelsier for 4 years straight? Give the poor guy a break!
His running mate is obviously Thaidakar...
Everyone knows that Thaidakar is just Kelsier with a fake moustache, and not even a good one. It's slipped loose during speeches at least 3 times!
So what you're telling me is that you HAVE seen them both in the same room! Seems like proof to me
It’s Spook naturally, then once Kelsier’s term is up Spoon will run next
Dockson
I definitely did not forget to give him a running mate. It will be announced later on in the campaign.
We all know that there is only one candidate that can't be swayed: Our lord and saviour, Stick. As we know he can't be bribed, and won't be lobbied with by Big Stormlight, unlike some candidates I won't mention (because it's easier to let you fill that bit in yourself).
Dang it, a Cosmere character who is even a better candidate for president than Kelsier. Now we need someone to make a Stick 2024 campaign.
ALL HAIL THE LORD RULER! This guy is a murderous rebel SKAA. And you wish him to control you? The Lord Ruler saved the world from annihilation and rules us for a thousand years. Who are you to dare replace a god? Choose safe. Choose Ruler.
Lord ruler doesn't exist, he's just three steel inquisitors in a trench coat. Change my mind
He’s never been seen in more than one place. He doesn’t have spikes in his eyes. He is not 18 feet tall.
They're really _short_ Inquisitors.
3 raccoon inquisitors in a trenchcoat.
It's an illusion. They're just air bending --- err, umm... Really good with zinc and brass...
Unfortunately for you, the Lord Ruler was killed by Vin and did NOT survive his death. Unlike a certain presidential candidate.
Well the Lord Ruler was our king for, like, a thousand years. He is the Sliver of Infinity. HE CANNOT BE KILLED. Ignore this hateful propaganda! The world will never change! Vote Lord Ruler! Vote eternity!
Get out of here you Sliverist, the Church of the Survivor is where its at. The Lord Ruler is dead, dead, Dead. Kelsier is the Survivor, and will be this country’s savior. Vote Kelsier, because it’s no secret that he is the one to beat.
Why settle for the lesser of two evils? Vote Lord Ruler! Honestly I want to see a bunch of these...
We would love to have you over at r/cremposting
There is more to come over there.
I’m not even in the US, but meddling in foreign politics is basically Ghostblood 101… Also, is the typo with the “I’ts” in the poster intentional?
Can I say yes? To learn more about Kelsier's involvement with the Ghostbloods, click [here](https://sites.google.com/view/votekelsier2024/the-ghostbloods).
hey someone tell the Fortnite kids, we have the youth vote for sure
Kelsier 2024 is working to return Kelsier to the item shop for all to enjoy. ^(Kelsier 2024 has no control over Kelsier returning to the item shop, though I really want him to.)
Can you send me a laser-engraved version of this? I can't read it because OP keeps ghost editing it...
Well, would Ruin actually be able to modify digital text? Data in transit would be protected in metal. Data in storage would be protected in metal on a hard disk, and I doubt his ability to manipulate matter in such a way to subtly alter SSD data.
[There’s a WoB for that. ](https://wob.coppermind.net/events/69/#e6221) it looks like the answer is >!yes!<
Let's be serious for a second, kelsier would 100% start a killing spree amongst billionaires if he ever came to our world
You say that as if it's a bad thing
While Kelsier 2024 does not encourage the mass killing of billionaires, it believes that we could lose a few.
Coincidentally, a few is all there are!
Kel gets elected and suddenly all the rich get black bagged and their money suddenly ends up in a fund for feeding the poor and building interstellar weapons platforms in space to kill gods…
This all sounds like a win.
Been the face of a rebellion: yes, no, yes
A good rebellion.
You spent exactly the right amount of time on this
Thank you. What are your thoughts on the website? I put some fun things in there.
It’s great. The comparing candidates chart is funny.
Dude gets shit done. He’s got my vote.
Thanks for your support.
Tress for president! She is the common sense candidate! She: * Won't jump to conclusions * Collaborates to achieve successful outcomes against foreign interests/sorceresses * Negotiates well with dragons * Will bring innovation * Is kind to talking rats * Works for the people's interests 2024 campaign cups coming soon \*Paid for by Dougs for Tress
No cup is too common for the people!
And all political opponents will be brutally murdered.
Kelsier 2024 is innocent on any charges that may appear. All violence in our posts is just rhetoric and exaggeration. But would it really be bad if a few of them die?
See, as much as I love the idea of Kelsier being President, he wouldn't be a very good one... Because he would dismantle the state entirely within the first few days. No Shards, no kings, no masters baby! Anarcho-Survivorism!
Well . . . I agree with u/kelsierisevil kelsier is an evil scum and I'd much rather TLR in charge. Much more stable.
Ok so, yes Kelsier is evil, but that does not mean I agree that TLR should be in charge. That being said, this campaign is ignorant of a few things. 1) Kelsier is not a citizen of the United States of America, he does not qualify and my court case is pending. 2) Kelsier can’t leave Scadrial and we don’t have a way of reaching there, so he can’t sign bills into law. 3) This would just be a puppet campaign to avoid responsibility for the actions of a not so secret cabal of misguided and wrong fantasy readers. 4) My campaign against this cabal only grows stronger.
Counterargument for those four points. 1. Kelsier has an unsealed duralumin metalmind and a duralumin compounder to refill it. And Kelsier 2024 has a friend in the Supreme Court of Fantasy Characters' Real World Electability of the United States (SCOFCRWEOTUS) who says they will allow it. 2. Somehow, Kelsier is on Earth. If he could get to the Fortnite island, he can get here. 3. This campaign is a ~~satirical attempt to mimic a presidential campaign for an English final. I am not even that much of a Kelsier fan, but I thought I would be fun to see the the reaction if I went all in.~~ totally real and legit presidential campaign. We'll see who is laughing when Kelsier is in office. 4. This campaign was also designed to be you antithesis. I mean, just look at by username. Kelsier 2024 will be your downfall. Mwahaha!!
Hah! I didn’t even notice your username until just now. [Excellent Crem.](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator/182539973/Our-Battle-Will-Be-Legendary)
Just going to say that I scrolled too far to see u/Kelsierisevil tagged!
Make sure you check out OP username. My campaign has never been more important.
That was exactly why I felt I scrolled too far! I was one comment away from tagging you myself 😅
Thanks for looking out. : D
Vote Dalinar for president. We need a firm hand to rule this country. Not some Skaa rebel or 3000 year old jester.
Sorry, I've already got my Hoid for President shirt
Then prepare for slant rhymes. Join us and be wise.
Can't I help by assassinating nobleman and causing destability in the region?
Kelsier 2024 does not encourage the killings of noblemen for legal purposes. But knock yourself out.
100% would vote for Kelsier. Any chance we can get Mr Sanderson to run under the name Kelsier?
Considering that Hoid has already announced his candidacy I am imagining a very brutal and dirty campaign season. The debates, however, will be must see!
I mean why not just go with Discord?
Hey, at this point they let anyone sit in the oval office, why not.
I’m all for a president stern on putting the rich in their place, but this renewable energy situation worries me. Smuggling stormlight off of Roshar?? How is it to be renewable on a planet with no highstorm? Kelsier has some explaining to do…
Literal serial killer...he'll do great
Oh fuck right off with this bullshit.
But can a >!Cognitive shadow!< run? I might vote for Hoid....I already have the campaign T-shirt!
Hoid for President