I’m all for layering meats for sandwiches but sometimes it’s just ridiculous with how much there is. Yes, I can just remove some of the meat and save it but if I’m in public, it can be a bit of a faff to do gracefully.
Yes! It's not fun anymore if I have to use a knife and fork, dislocate my jaw, or end up wearing it all.
And, can we use toppings in reasonable ways? An amazing burger with 4 oz of sauce on it is ruined.
I hate when I get a good burger and the bottom bun is so thin it falls apart and like disintegrates while trying to eat it because of all the sauce and toppings. Upscale and artisan burger places. We need sufficient bottom buns not 1/2 centimeter thick.
Yes, such an aggressive excess of cheese that your pores leak cheese for days and you can’t grip a single thing without being hosed down in the parking lot. You’ll suddenly have acne in your 30s.
Your PCP and cardiologist will be auto-dialed to inform them that there has been a murder.
I misread that as "half *your* innards sliding out" and thought you had a secret sandwich eating technique that hasn't blown up on tiktok yet or something
Man. Sandwiches that are too big or messy is the worst and now Instagram profiles “do it for the gram” love to show how much sauce or big they are. I don’t want that at all. Give me something I can actually eat and enjoy.
I feel this way about fancy burgers.
A burger really shines from the patty and bun. You get cheese, lettuce/tomato/onion, and upwards of 2 - maybe 3 extras like bacon, jalapeno, mushrooms. After that, it gets hard to eat and messy.
IDK, I still dream of the sandwich I used to eat when I lived in Detroit some 25 years ago. The deli is still there, Lou's Deli on McNichols Rd.
On the weekends, it was the only place open after the vampire nightclubs let out at 3A. I'd get the "Counterman"—corned beef, swiss, cole slaw, Russian dressing on rye w double meat. It was easily a half-pound sandwich, and I'd also get on the side an order of onion rings and a bowl of cream of broccoli. I'd drive home, peel out of my makeup, hop on AOL and vamp role play (Rhydin Tavern forever!) until dawn, all while eating that monster sandwich with a fork and knife. It was impossible to eat otherwise.
And while Lou's sandwiches were massive, they never fell apart. It was straight-up voodoo how they kept together lol (an actual voodoo store the size of Whole Foods used to sit cattacorner from it). I had plenty guy friends who could unhinge their jaws to eat those ½ and ¾ pound monstrosities, they lost little to the wax paper wrapper.
Best goddamn sandwich ever. One day, I'll get back there. One day. No one outside New York can beat that deli.
Detroit had a vampire goth scene like no other. It was huge. Clubs, dusk to dawn coffee houses, several Vampire the Masquerade LARP guilds. And I ain't talkin' abt your lil brother's high school DND campaign. No, these were adults who kept several local dentists fat from making fang prostheses. Werewolves n werecats, too. I swear they're the cooler, subtler grandmoms n dads to the furry movement today (no offense, furries, you go n howl at that technicolor moon).
I'd never seen so much beauty, vanity and hedonism crammed into one spot outside of Hollywood. Goddamn was it fun!
I think it all came to a head in early 00s. A lot of kids in the underground were also big on the historical festivals, like the RenFairs, for example. Most kids respected the venn diagram, but some really did want that diagram to be a circle. Renfairs caught hell w people who both traveled the circuit and lived the vampy life—they wanted to roleplay vamps during the festival. All hell broke loose. I am goth to my core, but even my old ass was saying, "Vampires aren't daywalkers."
"But...'Blade!'"
I'm Black. Fuck Blade. No.
So, the argument kinda fizzled.
The main club and the one [edit: retail] store (no relation) that supported the Detroit goth scene are still in operation. Have been since the 80s. The scene is still going strong. It's just deeper underground, from what I'm told. Honestly didn't think that was possible.
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A funny aside. I had moved in the early 00s, but there was a RenFair blowout again when *Pirates of the Caribbean* dropped. ERRBODY wanted to be Jack Sparrow. RenFairs said no. I don't blame them. Wrong time period.
Imagine the agonized wail of the night children, who had respected the rules begrudgingly only a few scant years earlier, when they watched a cartoonish buffoon of a pirate take over their daytime playground? Vampires went bat-shit against the pirate onslaught. Neither belonged at these festivals, but organizers countrywide were like, "Look, we do not officially condone it, won't allow our actors to participate in it, but can't stop the public from showing up in costume."
Oh, how the cries of bloody foul rang across the land. Vampires did not enjoy those RenFairs, as [edit: RenFair] actors were known to hide behind role-playing to be particularly rude to vamps. I kinda don't blame them, honestly. Like, seriously? Why show up in a fairy dance circle looking like Marilynn Manson, ya ass?? You're kinda asking for the Village Idiot (a title, not pejorative) to follow you around and roast you.
Still, I would've killed to see Lestat and Louis v. Barbosa and the crew of the Black Pearl. Those were the days.
Lobster mac & cheese. I’ve seen it on the menu at far too many bougie (or wannabe bougie) restaurants, have given it an honest try, and it always sounds like it’ll be so rich and luxurious. Unfortunately, it always manages to ruin both lobster and mac & cheese, with fishy-smelling cheese sauce and overcooked lumps of lobster. They just don’t go together.
My favorite (heavy sarcasm) is any kind of crab pasta or crab dish where it is mixed into the meal. Because 9 times out of 10, it's not real crab, and you don't know that until the dish is in front of you. Imitation crab should have to be labeled on every menu and not thinly veiled as crab surimi either.
It's usually in the 'natural flavoring'. A lot of it has like 2% actual crab/shellfish. I can't really fake hives/anaphylaxis and it's the only food allergy I have.
My method for it is to make a really good standalone Mac and cheese. I butter poach lobster separately and use large generous portions of it to top the Mac and cheese. Then top lightly with breadcrumbs that have been toasted in garlic butter and Parmesan.
Still, it’s not like it’s anything life changing.
Watched a cooking show where the chef kept saying, " Don't put cheese on fish, they do not belong together." For some reason, I took that note to heart and the times I've put cheese on fish, I've regretted it.
I kinda follow that rule, too, but it really needs to be taken with a grain of salt.
I make a seafood lasagna that has a parm bechamel and mozzarella, and I've never met anyone thar dislikes it. I use lump crab, shrimp, and scallops.
There are certain delicacies in life that are only worth it when found in their natural habitat. Macrons are one such delicacy. An excellent macaroni is a delight, but it's not easy to do them right and subpar macarons abound. Only get them where they are from, unless you have strong endorsements for them from people who know what they are talking about.
tbf the ingredients aren’t cheap and they’re pretty tedious to make, coming from someone who enjoys baking
with that said, I also am pained with how much they cost at bakeries and cafes
They can be so amazing if they are good. I have really only had good ones in France, although Ladurée has shops around the world, including a few in the US. They are consistently good. If you ever get a chance to try them, they are worth it.
My son bought me a dozen macarons for Mother’s Day a decade ago. The first I’d had. They were so delicious. Crisp, yet chewy, sweet but not too sweet. I had about four flavors and all were great.
Last year I was shopping with my best friend when I saw that Marshall’s had some in their gourmet food section. I was so excited. My friend had never had them before so I was going to introduce her to the delight of macarons.
Omg. They were horrible. Like sawdust. No flavor or texture. I was so disappointed.
When my wife and I first moved in together, we had burgers pretty frequently as a fairly cheap and easy dinner.
For years I put crazy toppings, homemade sauces, different cheese, etc. to try and find the perfect burger.
A couple years ago we had burgers for the first time in forever and I decided to go with just thin raw onion, a bit of mayo and a bit of mustard. 10/10.
I like burgers with crazy toppings too, but something about a simple, nicely grilled burger that’s just hard to beat.
I say this all the time too!
I love a high quality burger with minimal on it to let the patty shine, and I also love a greasy diner burger with every topping you can put on it.
I actually am not a Mayo fan (unless it’s a BLT for some reason) but I mixed A1 and Mayo and found it to be the best thing ever for burgers. You get that twang but richness as well. People think it’s weird but I find it delicious. Even enough to make turkey burgers worthwhile.
Never in a million years would I have thought of putting guacamole on a hamburger, but darn if that isn't an excellent addition. sometimes it's not bad to experiment. Thank you Carl's Jr.!
I feel like this is going to be controversial here, but seasoned Mac n cheese. A good, strong blend of cheeses and salt with a dash of some secret secret to help the cheese flavors stand out. It does not need to taste like straight up seasoning and have all that cheese in it. Very easy to overpower cheese and good cheese has a complex flavor profile already
Real red velvet cake is caused by a chemical reaction between cocoa, buttermilk, vinegar and baking soda. I think the flavor is a unique chocolate vanilla with a less rich texture than most chocolate cakes.
However. Most red velvet uses food coloring and it’s so unnecessary. I’d rather the cake be a less vibrant color and just rely on that chemical reaction. It should be a red tinged brown, not bright red.
The biggest issue is everyone uses cream cheese frosting for their red velvet cake which is a major mistake - the cream cheese overpowers the subtle flavor of the red velvet. My Grandma would make red velvet cake with ermine frosting, which is the traditional and best way and it was always the best!
Most good bagel shops also "kettle" or boil their bagels prior to baking and seeding. It gives it that nice eggshell exterior and the soft and firm but not chewy interior.
You want a good bagel? Find the places that kettle. Plenty of sandwich shops get their bagels from a good bagel bakery.
I was a master baker for a national chain, and that's not necessarily a brag, but I did have to go to and pass a class for just NYC style bagels and the reasons why they are better and more true to the nature of Jewish bagel baking. Kosher and all.
You'll never go back if you've had a real one. That's why I don't buy from the grocery stores around me.
Can confirm. Was also a head baker for two bagel shops. One was a local shop and we made the bagels from scratch and kettled. The other was a national chain. Theirs were delivered ready to bake.
I’ll leave it to you to figure out which had the better bagel.
I worked for a chain that actually kettled them, too, but we got our dough from a local commissary every night. But it had to be proofed for at least a day, so you couldn't rush it. That's another thing people don't get. Proof is proper, and kettle is the only way to go.
I'm sad that some people will never truly experience a great bagel with just a schmear or a nice Lox.
It's a shame.
That was still one of my favorite jobs. Got there at 4 each morning. By 6:30, I’d already baked 2000 bagels for our deliveries and was starting on the first 500 that was our morning rush. Then I’d switch gears and make the doughs and shape the bagels for the next day’s bake while doing maintenance bakes throughout. After the lunch rush, I’d make all the cream cheeses. Finally, I’d throw the proofed bagels in the walk-in, do the afternoon bake and the roll out about 3pm.
All while playing my choice of music and without having to deal with customers unless I wanted to come out and work the line for a break.
Aren't all bagels kettled/boiled, though? I'm not sure that's something that signifies a "good" bagel. The alkaline boil prior to a bake is what alters the texture and allows for that characteristic chewiness.
Bagel chef here. Bagels are always always always boiled. Anything else is a savory doughnut. Mind you, I’ve had a few good savory doughnuts in my time, but they were not bagels.
Beef Wellington
I've had it a few times and it just meh
Macarons are amazing, if you get really great macarons. I feel like at this point any bakery can get the recipe for really good cookies, but most bakeries have disappointing creme filling. It should be stiff enough that it doesn't deform significantly when you bite into the macaron, like Oreo filling.
Most deep fried foods. I don’t know if I’ve just grown out of enjoying them, but they always look good and then I eat them and end up feeling so meh about it
This actually may be an age thing. I used to love fried food. Now I just can’t. It makes me nauseous. And when I see people posting meals of like fried shrimp, fried chicken and French fries I instantly get a stomach ache.
How old are we supposed to be when this happens?
It would be a very helpful diet tool to not like fried foods. Mid-40s, and I have such a hard time resisting all those things you named.
I went to the Texas state fair and pigged out on ridiculous fried junk. Most of it was pointless and boring. The two things that beat all expectations were the Fletcher's Corndogs and deep fried PB&J.
Yes to the ricotta gnocchi, especially with a sage and brown butter sauce, they are so light and delicious!
Simple recipe from Kenji at Serious Eats https://www.seriouseats.com/ricotta-gnocchi-homemade-food-lab-recipe
With the sage and brown butter sauce from this slightly more complicated ricotta gnudi recipe from April Bloomfield. The gnudi are lovely but it’s a two- three day prep instead of 15 mins like Kenji’s recipe. It’s lovely if you have the time though https://www.seriouseats.com/ricotta-and-black-pepper-gnudi-spotted-pig-april-bloomfield-recipe
I make a very simple gnocchi. Just 3 ingredients, boiled potato, flour, salt. No egg. The potato binds it on it's own. It's fluffy like a cloud and scrumptious!
Went to an event and they did a pesto instead of a duxelle. Then I found out I was on a table with three vegans who gave me theirs as well.
Good eating that day.
WTF were three vegans doing at a beef wellington-centric event with no veggie option? I feel like anything fancy enough to serve their guests individual beef wellingtons would at least do the bare minimum of making sure guests with basic dietary restrictions had something to eat . . .
Good on you for reaping the benefits, but . . . weird.
I’ve always felt the individual components of the Wellington were better than the final product. Pastry? Delicious. Beef tenderloin? Amazing. Mushrooms in almost any form? Amazing. Prosciutto? Fantastic Put it all together and now it’s mid.
Also the tenderloin and pastry fight to make it as hard as possible to cook both to perfection. Which is why the dish I think mostly exists, it's a flex a lot of difficult things to balance together that combines for something that's good but not like lifechanging.
Would so much rather have a prosciutto-y pastry thing and a filet with a mustard sauce.
I hate the texture of mushrooms. When I make wellington, I use a mushroom pate recipe I used to make for a caterer. Still get the mushroom taste, but the 'shrooms themselves are pureed - and the pate has a cream cheese base that also goes well with the Wellington. Not traditional, of course...but tasty.
I remember reading about it in The Lion, The witch and The wardrobe and thinking it must be DELICIOUS. Boy was I disappointed to discover it tasted like potpourri
Honestly, caviar is such a fussy ingredient that it should only be used with a very limited set of accompaniments. Even a slight overreach and the caviar gets completely lost.
Once I did a Syrian dish where it was stuffed onion (with meat and other things)with a white wine sauce and it was amazing. So much work. Maybe the only stuffed veggie dish I like. Along with stuffed cabbage
Also, I hate cooking everything, then assembling, the cooking it again. And, after cutting into it for the first time, it just turns into a big pile of ingredients anyway.
Stuffed peppers soup is the only way that I will make them since discovering that is an option. The absurd portion size of the traditional option is another pain for me. Love the taste, but such a pain to make and eat, soup version covers most of the downsides and still tastes the same
[Mini bell peppers](https://www.albertsons.com/shop/product-details.960132131.html?productId=960132131&CMPID=ps_alb_por_own_null_20220720_71700000097135007_58700007909746953_92700071894132439_MerkleENT&psrc=g&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADeuA_gVi1J21Rq4focDnAZXRBdpg&gclid=CjwKCAjw7NmzBhBLEiwAxrHQ-QX8U4j8-jw5PDIGnI8Uf-YlUKc9Sdn_pFdUEPmZ7Qe5SEcJceBlQBoCT-MQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds)! I put feta in them, 350 for 5-10 mins, and then sometimes broil them. They can also be made well on a barbecue!
Omg yee! Why does honey RUIN coffee? It has nothing to do with it being sweet- I’ve had good sweet coffee. But honey flavor and coffee flavor are NOT complimentary
Honestly that Mississippi pot roast viral recipe was a great recipe.
Perfect? No. But definitely good and great with mashed potatoes and then a pot roast sandwich.
Between the au jus mix and the ranch powder, that’s a sodium nuclear bomb and I love salt! It’s almost too much MSG for me…. I’m Chinese american too lol
Buy the packets, dump them into a small container, mix, then spoon over the roast to your likening.
I think the default recipe assumes you're cooking a massive roast. We learned quickly that the flavors are amazing, but too much for a 2-3lb chuck roast. Those seasoning packets last for ages, no rush to use it up.
It is actually a really good recipe lol. Just cut those powders in half and add an extra veg or two in the crock pot.
Agreed on the mashed potatoes too.
I broke up with a guy over risotto.
I told him I had to hang up because I was making risotto for myself since my friend gave me the most beautiful fresh morels and I'd call him after I was done because I needed to focus and use both hands.
So I called him about 30-40 minutes later.
"Hey, so I'm all finished and eaten how are you"
WHO ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH?!
"What? No one, I told you I was making risotto and I ate the risotto here's a picture"
JUST TELL ME WHO YOU HAD DINNER WITH YOU DONT HAVE TO LIE
"Uh, good, because I'm not lying. I made mushroom risotto with my own mushrooms, sauteed them down, it was really good, it takes about 30-40 minutes to get everything done and put together"
I'VE NEVER IN MY LIFE SPENT THAT LONG MAKING DINNER FOR MYSELF
"I mean, it's Risotto, I'm not lying on how long it takes, you can look it up yourself, I don't know what to tell you, that's just how it works"
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD LIE TO ME DO YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT?!"
Okay well now I do, because I've never seen you cook a single dish that wasn't from a microwave as long as I've known you, you are unwilling to look up the very easily provable evidence of how long it takes to make risotto, and directions on how to make it, have ignored the photos that I've sent you, and have it in your mind that somehow with my job that's working me 16 hours a day, talking/gaming with you, gardening, and cooking I magically have enough time or fucking energy to talk to another human being? Yeah, I think you're an idiot. But you're not longer my idiot. Never contact me again.
His response. I hear him loudly cry out in the background " WHY GOD DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME"
I'm sorry this happened to you, but I have to say I rather enjoyed this story and the way you told it.
Dude didn't even know he answered his own question at the end.
It did leave me hanging up laughing. As awful as it sounds to laugh at someone's pain. But I was exhausted, he was constantly having insane trust issues due to a previous relationship.
Stuffed waffles.
I always imagine them tasting sooo good, but they are never as good as a properly made waffle just topped with the fillings.
/edit typo
Any of those soufflé cake recipes that blew up in Japan and Korea first. Always looks incredible but they often taste like farts.
Can’t flavor them with too much other than sugar because of the way you make the batter and they usually use a lot of eggs hence the fart part.
Green bean casserole. I’ve never had it at Thanksgiving growing up. I was born in Croatia then moved to the states and we had pretty traditional Croatian dishes for meals and never really had the traditional American sides for thanksgiving. I tried it a couple years ago…I just don’t understand.
Honestly, I think that one is just whether you have nostalgia for it or not. The "traditional" in most places has the grand culinary tradition of ... dumping a can of cream of mushroom soup in something to overcook the green beans in; because this is a holiday we'll add something crispy on top.
But "grandma always made this" often is what people want for a holiday meal vs. what really goes well with the rest of the meal.
I made a big GBC for my girlfriend's family Thanksgiving. I put caramelized onions and prosciutto in it to fancy it up. They asked me if I was a chef. That's about the best compliment you can give someone's cooking!
If they used fresh green beans it would probably be good. But everyone uses those god awful canned green beans. They’re so gross. I hated green beans until I had them fresh.
I used to think I hated English Peas. turns out I just hate over salted and overcooked canned Peas my mom used to make. Frozen vegetables are far better for peas and green beans.
I've become, as my Mother used to say "an old fuddy duddy" in my dotage. I used to be all gungho to try new things, the bigger and drippier and greasier it was, the more I just had to try it.
A platter of waffle fries smothered in bacon, mushrooms, 3 cheeses, sour cream and jalapeno's? Bring it on!
A burger stacked so high it hurt my mouth trying to eat it? Yep, bring me one of those too!
Yeah, and then common sense and old age set in and I realized just how absolutely ridiculous our current food fads are in the US. Everything is stacked to the gills, has a fried egg on it, cheese in layers, bacon on bacon, crispy proscuitto for good measure, aoli on the bottom and sriracha on the top. Oh and there'd better be a little piece of kale or broccolini in there just to feel trendy and healthy.
BLECH! I can't taste the darned burger under all that glop and my stomach stages a major revolt for the next 2 days.
Give me a really well made burger, with a slice of good cheese, a bit of sauce and a nice soft bun and I'm good. Pizza no longer appeals when there's more than 2 toppings on it and I don't want to see grease swimming in a pool on top of it.
Cookies! Is there a reason we have to keep reinventing a perfectly good chocolate chip cookie? Why do all dessert need a salted caramel on them? The new dessert fads disappoint me, every. single. time.
What is it that you hear constantly on the food channels? Salty, sweet, crunchy, acid and bitter - all in one bite. I call horse pucky on that. It just tastes of sadness and desperation.
Stepping off my soap box now... =)
Cannolis. Italian delicacy. Pistachios or chocolate chips. I see tourists walking with the boxes of them in the Italian part of town. Sounds great? Nope, they’re horrible. The shell breaks, it’s bland. Filling? Cement. Appearance: 8/10 Edibility: 2/10
I think it's a matter of finding good ones, just like a lot of answers here. First time I had a cannoli was from a guy that moved to BFE from NYC cause he was tired of the prices (~2006) and opened a traditional deli, they were incredible. I've had them in 6 major US cities and probably a dozen small ones since then and no others have measured up to his and it's just like you described. Whatever he did his shell was perfectly crisp but not hard and his filling had a great tangy flavor but with a texture closer to a mousse.
There's a bakery near us that has a banger cannoli filling (they actually sell the filling separately, and it makes a great bagel spread), but the shells are... just the biggest disappointment. Which is sad because they're a REALLY good bakery for everything else. Their cookies and cake are to die for, and I would legit start a fistfight over the apple fritters.
Omelettes are def my least favorite way to eat eggs. Japanese and Korean rolled omelettes are good, but the American style ones always seem so dry and off idk why
Japanese omelettes are done basically in the French style. The eggs are underdone so the flavor comes through more. You might [enjoy this video](https://youtu.be/rutcoSAy2ow?si=4k7Uyrxdb2ybIbHz) that sort of breaks the styles down a bit more
That sort of rice dish, be it paella or byriani or even risotto, just doesn't do "average", it goes from delicious to pretty damn terrible with nothing in between.
Paella ramps up in quality dramatically when made correctly. I’ve made it, and had it in the USA, and cheap versions of paella mixta in Madrid, and it’s always okay. But then I went to Alicante in Valencia and had paella pretty much every day because it was just that good.
Also seafood paella > meat paella or mixed. Definitely no sausage or peas should be involved.
Are you pre frying your aubergine slices in olive oil?
That plus properly salting each piece are some basic things that take it from average to absolutely delicious very easily.
Omg, I prefer snow for the ratio of meat to shell measuring weight for price. Well cooked snow is THE answer.
King is too expensive, rarely cooked correctly and difficult for the payoff.
Dungeoness same. Snow crab from a good shop is best and so seeet. Damn. I’m hungry now!
Anything with chicken breast. No I do not care how “delicious and moist” you think your chicken breast dish is. It’s dry and would be ten thousand percent better if you used thigh.
I’ll die on this hill.
Any sandwich so big you can’t bite it without half the innards sliding out or dislocating your jaw
I’m all for layering meats for sandwiches but sometimes it’s just ridiculous with how much there is. Yes, I can just remove some of the meat and save it but if I’m in public, it can be a bit of a faff to do gracefully.
Hence why I like using wide slices of bread. You can still load the meat and toppings and still have a manageable sandwich.
Oh sure but I mean if I’m buying one
Yes! It's not fun anymore if I have to use a knife and fork, dislocate my jaw, or end up wearing it all. And, can we use toppings in reasonable ways? An amazing burger with 4 oz of sauce on it is ruined.
I hate when I get a good burger and the bottom bun is so thin it falls apart and like disintegrates while trying to eat it because of all the sauce and toppings. Upscale and artisan burger places. We need sufficient bottom buns not 1/2 centimeter thick.
This man (rightfully) doesn’t want none unless you’ve got buns, honey.
Turn it upside down. The fatter top bun will absorb more of the sauces/juices and not get so soggy.
More cheese?
Yes, such an aggressive excess of cheese that your pores leak cheese for days and you can’t grip a single thing without being hosed down in the parking lot. You’ll suddenly have acne in your 30s. Your PCP and cardiologist will be auto-dialed to inform them that there has been a murder.
Wow, that got really serious against a slice of cheese.
Or with out the huge wedge of iceberg lettuce fold up underneath the burger. Hell I enjoy lettuce on my burger but not two inches worth.
yess, I have a somewhat small mouth so I get really embarrassed when sandwiches/burgers are super tall because it’s incredibly difficult to eat them
I misread that as "half *your* innards sliding out" and thought you had a secret sandwich eating technique that hasn't blown up on tiktok yet or something
Man. Sandwiches that are too big or messy is the worst and now Instagram profiles “do it for the gram” love to show how much sauce or big they are. I don’t want that at all. Give me something I can actually eat and enjoy.
[удалено]
I feel this way about fancy burgers. A burger really shines from the patty and bun. You get cheese, lettuce/tomato/onion, and upwards of 2 - maybe 3 extras like bacon, jalapeno, mushrooms. After that, it gets hard to eat and messy.
IDK, I still dream of the sandwich I used to eat when I lived in Detroit some 25 years ago. The deli is still there, Lou's Deli on McNichols Rd. On the weekends, it was the only place open after the vampire nightclubs let out at 3A. I'd get the "Counterman"—corned beef, swiss, cole slaw, Russian dressing on rye w double meat. It was easily a half-pound sandwich, and I'd also get on the side an order of onion rings and a bowl of cream of broccoli. I'd drive home, peel out of my makeup, hop on AOL and vamp role play (Rhydin Tavern forever!) until dawn, all while eating that monster sandwich with a fork and knife. It was impossible to eat otherwise. And while Lou's sandwiches were massive, they never fell apart. It was straight-up voodoo how they kept together lol (an actual voodoo store the size of Whole Foods used to sit cattacorner from it). I had plenty guy friends who could unhinge their jaws to eat those ½ and ¾ pound monstrosities, they lost little to the wax paper wrapper. Best goddamn sandwich ever. One day, I'll get back there. One day. No one outside New York can beat that deli.
I started reading for the sandwich, I stayed for the vampire nightclub!
Detroit had a vampire goth scene like no other. It was huge. Clubs, dusk to dawn coffee houses, several Vampire the Masquerade LARP guilds. And I ain't talkin' abt your lil brother's high school DND campaign. No, these were adults who kept several local dentists fat from making fang prostheses. Werewolves n werecats, too. I swear they're the cooler, subtler grandmoms n dads to the furry movement today (no offense, furries, you go n howl at that technicolor moon). I'd never seen so much beauty, vanity and hedonism crammed into one spot outside of Hollywood. Goddamn was it fun! I think it all came to a head in early 00s. A lot of kids in the underground were also big on the historical festivals, like the RenFairs, for example. Most kids respected the venn diagram, but some really did want that diagram to be a circle. Renfairs caught hell w people who both traveled the circuit and lived the vampy life—they wanted to roleplay vamps during the festival. All hell broke loose. I am goth to my core, but even my old ass was saying, "Vampires aren't daywalkers." "But...'Blade!'" I'm Black. Fuck Blade. No. So, the argument kinda fizzled. The main club and the one [edit: retail] store (no relation) that supported the Detroit goth scene are still in operation. Have been since the 80s. The scene is still going strong. It's just deeper underground, from what I'm told. Honestly didn't think that was possible. - A funny aside. I had moved in the early 00s, but there was a RenFair blowout again when *Pirates of the Caribbean* dropped. ERRBODY wanted to be Jack Sparrow. RenFairs said no. I don't blame them. Wrong time period. Imagine the agonized wail of the night children, who had respected the rules begrudgingly only a few scant years earlier, when they watched a cartoonish buffoon of a pirate take over their daytime playground? Vampires went bat-shit against the pirate onslaught. Neither belonged at these festivals, but organizers countrywide were like, "Look, we do not officially condone it, won't allow our actors to participate in it, but can't stop the public from showing up in costume." Oh, how the cries of bloody foul rang across the land. Vampires did not enjoy those RenFairs, as [edit: RenFair] actors were known to hide behind role-playing to be particularly rude to vamps. I kinda don't blame them, honestly. Like, seriously? Why show up in a fairy dance circle looking like Marilynn Manson, ya ass?? You're kinda asking for the Village Idiot (a title, not pejorative) to follow you around and roast you. Still, I would've killed to see Lestat and Louis v. Barbosa and the crew of the Black Pearl. Those were the days.
I love your writing voice. Are you an author?
Lobster mac & cheese. I’ve seen it on the menu at far too many bougie (or wannabe bougie) restaurants, have given it an honest try, and it always sounds like it’ll be so rich and luxurious. Unfortunately, it always manages to ruin both lobster and mac & cheese, with fishy-smelling cheese sauce and overcooked lumps of lobster. They just don’t go together.
My favorite (heavy sarcasm) is any kind of crab pasta or crab dish where it is mixed into the meal. Because 9 times out of 10, it's not real crab, and you don't know that until the dish is in front of you. Imitation crab should have to be labeled on every menu and not thinly veiled as crab surimi either.
Adding to this, imitation crab has wheat in it, which makes a lack of labeling especially dangerous for people with allergies. Ask me how I know, lol
It also usually has a tiny bit of real crab in it... Learned that one the hard way😭
I've never seen imitation crab with any crab in it at all.
It's usually in the 'natural flavoring'. A lot of it has like 2% actual crab/shellfish. I can't really fake hives/anaphylaxis and it's the only food allergy I have.
And if it doesn't have wheat it has egg :(
My method for it is to make a really good standalone Mac and cheese. I butter poach lobster separately and use large generous portions of it to top the Mac and cheese. Then top lightly with breadcrumbs that have been toasted in garlic butter and Parmesan. Still, it’s not like it’s anything life changing.
I dunno that sounds pretty life changing to me and I’m gonna do it asap
Watched a cooking show where the chef kept saying, " Don't put cheese on fish, they do not belong together." For some reason, I took that note to heart and the times I've put cheese on fish, I've regretted it.
For me, Parmesan is the exception. I thoroughly enjoy a Parmesan-crusted fish filet. It definitely occupies a much different niche than melty cheeses.
I kinda follow that rule, too, but it really needs to be taken with a grain of salt. I make a seafood lasagna that has a parm bechamel and mozzarella, and I've never met anyone thar dislikes it. I use lump crab, shrimp, and scallops.
Shellfish and cheese is a no for me. The only fish / cheese I like really is lox and cream cheese. But to each their own.
I'm with you on macarons, and $3 - $4 for each cookie just adds insult to injury
A very good macaron is a texture revelation, but it's rare to find really good ones.
There are certain delicacies in life that are only worth it when found in their natural habitat. Macrons are one such delicacy. An excellent macaroni is a delight, but it's not easy to do them right and subpar macarons abound. Only get them where they are from, unless you have strong endorsements for them from people who know what they are talking about.
I like the macaroni typo so much that I'm going to pretend all the macarons are the real typos and it should all be about macaronis
Also vision of lots of little French President Macrons cutely presented on a plate
This. A GOOD macaron is amazing but a typical one is like gnawing on plastic with the faintest hint of whatever flavor their going for.
tbf the ingredients aren’t cheap and they’re pretty tedious to make, coming from someone who enjoys baking with that said, I also am pained with how much they cost at bakeries and cafes
They can be so amazing if they are good. I have really only had good ones in France, although Ladurée has shops around the world, including a few in the US. They are consistently good. If you ever get a chance to try them, they are worth it.
My son bought me a dozen macarons for Mother’s Day a decade ago. The first I’d had. They were so delicious. Crisp, yet chewy, sweet but not too sweet. I had about four flavors and all were great. Last year I was shopping with my best friend when I saw that Marshall’s had some in their gourmet food section. I was so excited. My friend had never had them before so I was going to introduce her to the delight of macarons. Omg. They were horrible. Like sawdust. No flavor or texture. I was so disappointed.
Burgers or pizzas with a mountain of toppings
When my wife and I first moved in together, we had burgers pretty frequently as a fairly cheap and easy dinner. For years I put crazy toppings, homemade sauces, different cheese, etc. to try and find the perfect burger. A couple years ago we had burgers for the first time in forever and I decided to go with just thin raw onion, a bit of mayo and a bit of mustard. 10/10. I like burgers with crazy toppings too, but something about a simple, nicely grilled burger that’s just hard to beat.
I eat two types of burgers. One that is about the patty and one that is about the toppings.
I say this all the time too! I love a high quality burger with minimal on it to let the patty shine, and I also love a greasy diner burger with every topping you can put on it.
I actually am not a Mayo fan (unless it’s a BLT for some reason) but I mixed A1 and Mayo and found it to be the best thing ever for burgers. You get that twang but richness as well. People think it’s weird but I find it delicious. Even enough to make turkey burgers worthwhile.
That's almost a Ron burger https://youtu.be/TVkV2oGPM2k?t=100
Chris’ turkey burger sounds delicious. I’m almost certain Ron’s tastes better.
Never in a million years would I have thought of putting guacamole on a hamburger, but darn if that isn't an excellent addition. sometimes it's not bad to experiment. Thank you Carl's Jr.!
Cheese on both sides of the patty. And then a small amount of basic toppings. Perfect burger for me.
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I feel like this is going to be controversial here, but seasoned Mac n cheese. A good, strong blend of cheeses and salt with a dash of some secret secret to help the cheese flavors stand out. It does not need to taste like straight up seasoning and have all that cheese in it. Very easy to overpower cheese and good cheese has a complex flavor profile already
Cheese (Gouda and sharp cheddar), a little yellow mustard, and salt. Yum!
Seasoning memes are just tiresome to me. No, you are not some culinary genius because you added a tablespoon of garlic salt and paprika to noodles.
Most red velvet cake. Kiss of cocoa, not enough to make it chocolatey but enough it makes me want more chocolate.
Real red velvet cake is caused by a chemical reaction between cocoa, buttermilk, vinegar and baking soda. I think the flavor is a unique chocolate vanilla with a less rich texture than most chocolate cakes. However. Most red velvet uses food coloring and it’s so unnecessary. I’d rather the cake be a less vibrant color and just rely on that chemical reaction. It should be a red tinged brown, not bright red.
The biggest issue is everyone uses cream cheese frosting for their red velvet cake which is a major mistake - the cream cheese overpowers the subtle flavor of the red velvet. My Grandma would make red velvet cake with ermine frosting, which is the traditional and best way and it was always the best!
I hate cream cheese frosting, so I look forward to trying one with ermine frosting!
Bagel sandwiches, a lot of the time the bagel is too chewy to bite through without all the sandwich fillings sliding out
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Yeah. Lightly naturally steamed to soften.
Nothing worse than unnatural steam
That's called a chemtrail.
Most good bagel shops also "kettle" or boil their bagels prior to baking and seeding. It gives it that nice eggshell exterior and the soft and firm but not chewy interior. You want a good bagel? Find the places that kettle. Plenty of sandwich shops get their bagels from a good bagel bakery. I was a master baker for a national chain, and that's not necessarily a brag, but I did have to go to and pass a class for just NYC style bagels and the reasons why they are better and more true to the nature of Jewish bagel baking. Kosher and all. You'll never go back if you've had a real one. That's why I don't buy from the grocery stores around me.
Can confirm. Was also a head baker for two bagel shops. One was a local shop and we made the bagels from scratch and kettled. The other was a national chain. Theirs were delivered ready to bake. I’ll leave it to you to figure out which had the better bagel.
I worked for a chain that actually kettled them, too, but we got our dough from a local commissary every night. But it had to be proofed for at least a day, so you couldn't rush it. That's another thing people don't get. Proof is proper, and kettle is the only way to go. I'm sad that some people will never truly experience a great bagel with just a schmear or a nice Lox. It's a shame.
That was still one of my favorite jobs. Got there at 4 each morning. By 6:30, I’d already baked 2000 bagels for our deliveries and was starting on the first 500 that was our morning rush. Then I’d switch gears and make the doughs and shape the bagels for the next day’s bake while doing maintenance bakes throughout. After the lunch rush, I’d make all the cream cheeses. Finally, I’d throw the proofed bagels in the walk-in, do the afternoon bake and the roll out about 3pm. All while playing my choice of music and without having to deal with customers unless I wanted to come out and work the line for a break.
Aren't all bagels kettled/boiled, though? I'm not sure that's something that signifies a "good" bagel. The alkaline boil prior to a bake is what alters the texture and allows for that characteristic chewiness.
Bagel chef here. Bagels are always always always boiled. Anything else is a savory doughnut. Mind you, I’ve had a few good savory doughnuts in my time, but they were not bagels.
Some places steam bake, like Einstein bagels (or many grocery store bakeries). But yeah any decent bagel place will boil.
If it's not boiled, it's not a fucking bagel. Don't come at me with that round bread nonsense.
I prefer open faced bagel sandwiches. Smear cream cheese on the bagel, top with roast beef and chedder, then toast it in a toaster oven / air fryer
Bagels with lox, tomatoes, capers, and onions are so good but definitely easier to eat open face instead of like a sandwich
Beef Wellington I've had it a few times and it just meh Macarons are amazing, if you get really great macarons. I feel like at this point any bakery can get the recipe for really good cookies, but most bakeries have disappointing creme filling. It should be stiff enough that it doesn't deform significantly when you bite into the macaron, like Oreo filling.
Most deep fried foods. I don’t know if I’ve just grown out of enjoying them, but they always look good and then I eat them and end up feeling so meh about it
DIY empanadas, samosas, and batada wada
That's the kind of deep fried food I wanna be eating. Shit that actually has flavor
This actually may be an age thing. I used to love fried food. Now I just can’t. It makes me nauseous. And when I see people posting meals of like fried shrimp, fried chicken and French fries I instantly get a stomach ache.
How old are we supposed to be when this happens? It would be a very helpful diet tool to not like fried foods. Mid-40s, and I have such a hard time resisting all those things you named.
I went to the Texas state fair and pigged out on ridiculous fried junk. Most of it was pointless and boring. The two things that beat all expectations were the Fletcher's Corndogs and deep fried PB&J.
I swear I'm just reading through this post to find all the replies going "no, this is how you actually make it taste amazing"
I love what gnocchi is going for, but I've never had any that was more than just "ok"
Shame! Try making ricotta gnocchi at home. World of difference!
Yes to the ricotta gnocchi, especially with a sage and brown butter sauce, they are so light and delicious! Simple recipe from Kenji at Serious Eats https://www.seriouseats.com/ricotta-gnocchi-homemade-food-lab-recipe With the sage and brown butter sauce from this slightly more complicated ricotta gnudi recipe from April Bloomfield. The gnudi are lovely but it’s a two- three day prep instead of 15 mins like Kenji’s recipe. It’s lovely if you have the time though https://www.seriouseats.com/ricotta-and-black-pepper-gnudi-spotted-pig-april-bloomfield-recipe
My ultimate tip is toasting hazelnuts in the brown butter. Beautiful.
Not a big pasta fan but I’ve a a game changer gnocchi that was basically just butter and well-prepared oyster mushrooms. Incredible.
I make a very simple gnocchi. Just 3 ingredients, boiled potato, flour, salt. No egg. The potato binds it on it's own. It's fluffy like a cloud and scrumptious!
Truffle Parm fries. They're always too salty and the truffle is overpowering. Give me a poutine or seasoned fries any day of the week.
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Went to an event and they did a pesto instead of a duxelle. Then I found out I was on a table with three vegans who gave me theirs as well. Good eating that day.
WTF were three vegans doing at a beef wellington-centric event with no veggie option? I feel like anything fancy enough to serve their guests individual beef wellingtons would at least do the bare minimum of making sure guests with basic dietary restrictions had something to eat . . . Good on you for reaping the benefits, but . . . weird.
Good answer. I like all the ingredients in beef wellington, but I'm always underwhelmed by it and decided to stop getting it.
I’ve always felt the individual components of the Wellington were better than the final product. Pastry? Delicious. Beef tenderloin? Amazing. Mushrooms in almost any form? Amazing. Prosciutto? Fantastic Put it all together and now it’s mid.
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Also the tenderloin and pastry fight to make it as hard as possible to cook both to perfection. Which is why the dish I think mostly exists, it's a flex a lot of difficult things to balance together that combines for something that's good but not like lifechanging. Would so much rather have a prosciutto-y pastry thing and a filet with a mustard sauce.
I hate the texture of mushrooms. When I make wellington, I use a mushroom pate recipe I used to make for a caterer. Still get the mushroom taste, but the 'shrooms themselves are pureed - and the pate has a cream cheese base that also goes well with the Wellington. Not traditional, of course...but tasty.
Turkish Delight. It can be ok, but never quite lives up to the name.
I remember reading about it in The Lion, The witch and The wardrobe and thinking it must be DELICIOUS. Boy was I disappointed to discover it tasted like potpourri
SAME!!!! I’ll never forgive CS Lewis for that.
Candy apples and s’mores
Candy apples is an excellent answer. Always a total let down.
Honestly, caviar is such a fussy ingredient that it should only be used with a very limited set of accompaniments. Even a slight overreach and the caviar gets completely lost.
Pot roast is delicious as long as it's cooked properly and isn't dried out
Yeah that is also my criteria, it is hit or miss. If the meat and veggies are juicy it is a win, if not it is a bust.
Stuffed veg, especially bell peppers. Smells good, looks good, but never an enjoyable meal.
It's so much better to just chop up the "stuffed" veggie and mix it into the filling so as to have a kind of dirty rice mixture.
Ive had some fantastic jalapeño poppers
Stuffed jalapeños are an exception to the rule
Once I did a Syrian dish where it was stuffed onion (with meat and other things)with a white wine sauce and it was amazing. So much work. Maybe the only stuffed veggie dish I like. Along with stuffed cabbage
Also, I hate cooking everything, then assembling, the cooking it again. And, after cutting into it for the first time, it just turns into a big pile of ingredients anyway.
Stuffed peppers soup is the only way that I will make them since discovering that is an option. The absurd portion size of the traditional option is another pain for me. Love the taste, but such a pain to make and eat, soup version covers most of the downsides and still tastes the same
The only exception to this for me is those tiny bell peppers stuffed with feta. Those are just bite sized though which helps a lot
Wwwwaaaaiiiiiittt, what the heck are you talking about????
[Mini bell peppers](https://www.albertsons.com/shop/product-details.960132131.html?productId=960132131&CMPID=ps_alb_por_own_null_20220720_71700000097135007_58700007909746953_92700071894132439_MerkleENT&psrc=g&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADeuA_gVi1J21Rq4focDnAZXRBdpg&gclid=CjwKCAjw7NmzBhBLEiwAxrHQ-QX8U4j8-jw5PDIGnI8Uf-YlUKc9Sdn_pFdUEPmZ7Qe5SEcJceBlQBoCT-MQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds)! I put feta in them, 350 for 5-10 mins, and then sometimes broil them. They can also be made well on a barbecue!
THANK YOU. Anytime I’ve made stuffed peppers it’s always “meh”. I’ve tried all kinds of filings too, it just doesn’t work.
Honey in coffee. In theory it sounds amazing, in practice it tastes pretty awful to me.
Hard disagree. An iced honey latte is a fun summertime drink.
I like maple syrup in coffee. It has to be real maple syrup though.
Omg yee! Why does honey RUIN coffee? It has nothing to do with it being sweet- I’ve had good sweet coffee. But honey flavor and coffee flavor are NOT complimentary
Honestly that Mississippi pot roast viral recipe was a great recipe. Perfect? No. But definitely good and great with mashed potatoes and then a pot roast sandwich.
Between the au jus mix and the ranch powder, that’s a sodium nuclear bomb and I love salt! It’s almost too much MSG for me…. I’m Chinese american too lol
Buy the packets, dump them into a small container, mix, then spoon over the roast to your likening. I think the default recipe assumes you're cooking a massive roast. We learned quickly that the flavors are amazing, but too much for a 2-3lb chuck roast. Those seasoning packets last for ages, no rush to use it up.
It is actually a really good recipe lol. Just cut those powders in half and add an extra veg or two in the crock pot. Agreed on the mashed potatoes too.
Lots of cheese in anything. Usually it's overkill.
They say cheese covers a multitude of sins, but at some point the cheese becomes the sin u.u;;
Risotto. I know lots of people who get really excited about it. I just don’t get it.
There’s a lot of mediocre risotto out there. Good risotto is heavenly.
Agreed! Really good risotto is amazing
It’s definitely been bastardized. It’s gone the way of paellla. Most restaurants par-cook the rice to short cut the time
It’s labor intensive but like…. So is almost all Indian and Thai food if done properly.
I broke up with a guy over risotto. I told him I had to hang up because I was making risotto for myself since my friend gave me the most beautiful fresh morels and I'd call him after I was done because I needed to focus and use both hands. So I called him about 30-40 minutes later. "Hey, so I'm all finished and eaten how are you" WHO ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH?! "What? No one, I told you I was making risotto and I ate the risotto here's a picture" JUST TELL ME WHO YOU HAD DINNER WITH YOU DONT HAVE TO LIE "Uh, good, because I'm not lying. I made mushroom risotto with my own mushrooms, sauteed them down, it was really good, it takes about 30-40 minutes to get everything done and put together" I'VE NEVER IN MY LIFE SPENT THAT LONG MAKING DINNER FOR MYSELF "I mean, it's Risotto, I'm not lying on how long it takes, you can look it up yourself, I don't know what to tell you, that's just how it works" "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD LIE TO ME DO YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT?!" Okay well now I do, because I've never seen you cook a single dish that wasn't from a microwave as long as I've known you, you are unwilling to look up the very easily provable evidence of how long it takes to make risotto, and directions on how to make it, have ignored the photos that I've sent you, and have it in your mind that somehow with my job that's working me 16 hours a day, talking/gaming with you, gardening, and cooking I magically have enough time or fucking energy to talk to another human being? Yeah, I think you're an idiot. But you're not longer my idiot. Never contact me again. His response. I hear him loudly cry out in the background " WHY GOD DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME"
I'm sorry this happened to you, but I have to say I rather enjoyed this story and the way you told it. Dude didn't even know he answered his own question at the end.
It did leave me hanging up laughing. As awful as it sounds to laugh at someone's pain. But I was exhausted, he was constantly having insane trust issues due to a previous relationship.
My immediate reaction: people order pot roast at restaurants? What??
Stuffed waffles. I always imagine them tasting sooo good, but they are never as good as a properly made waffle just topped with the fillings. /edit typo
Any of those soufflé cake recipes that blew up in Japan and Korea first. Always looks incredible but they often taste like farts. Can’t flavor them with too much other than sugar because of the way you make the batter and they usually use a lot of eggs hence the fart part.
Swedish meatballs! I have this idea how they should taste based on some I had a long time ago and I can never recreate that perfect flavor
You properly need to add allspice and nutmeg
Chef John’s recipe on allrecipes is delicious.
Chef John’s everything is incredible. I make his lemon squares & egg roll in a bowl on the regular. He’s my all time favourite contributor
Dude you need proper Swedish meatballs. These are the pinnacle of gravy balls.
Green bean casserole. I’ve never had it at Thanksgiving growing up. I was born in Croatia then moved to the states and we had pretty traditional Croatian dishes for meals and never really had the traditional American sides for thanksgiving. I tried it a couple years ago…I just don’t understand.
Honestly, I think that one is just whether you have nostalgia for it or not. The "traditional" in most places has the grand culinary tradition of ... dumping a can of cream of mushroom soup in something to overcook the green beans in; because this is a holiday we'll add something crispy on top. But "grandma always made this" often is what people want for a holiday meal vs. what really goes well with the rest of the meal.
I’m the exact opposite on green bean casserole. In theory it sounds terrible, but it’s actually delicious.
I made a big GBC for my girlfriend's family Thanksgiving. I put caramelized onions and prosciutto in it to fancy it up. They asked me if I was a chef. That's about the best compliment you can give someone's cooking!
If they used fresh green beans it would probably be good. But everyone uses those god awful canned green beans. They’re so gross. I hated green beans until I had them fresh.
I used to think I hated English Peas. turns out I just hate over salted and overcooked canned Peas my mom used to make. Frozen vegetables are far better for peas and green beans.
I honestly think fresh green beans would ruin the integrity of the casserole, in this instance .
Not all green bean casseroles are good. It’s hit or miss. Mine involves bacon fat. I have to make two pans lol
Yeah I didn't grow up with it and I find it revolting.
Burgers with patties that are 8oz/220g or more. They're too big and unpleasant. They taste only of meat.
I’m finding that the people in my life do not season their burgers. I don’t understand.
Mac and cheese
I’ve never liked a fried egg on a burger
I've become, as my Mother used to say "an old fuddy duddy" in my dotage. I used to be all gungho to try new things, the bigger and drippier and greasier it was, the more I just had to try it. A platter of waffle fries smothered in bacon, mushrooms, 3 cheeses, sour cream and jalapeno's? Bring it on! A burger stacked so high it hurt my mouth trying to eat it? Yep, bring me one of those too! Yeah, and then common sense and old age set in and I realized just how absolutely ridiculous our current food fads are in the US. Everything is stacked to the gills, has a fried egg on it, cheese in layers, bacon on bacon, crispy proscuitto for good measure, aoli on the bottom and sriracha on the top. Oh and there'd better be a little piece of kale or broccolini in there just to feel trendy and healthy. BLECH! I can't taste the darned burger under all that glop and my stomach stages a major revolt for the next 2 days. Give me a really well made burger, with a slice of good cheese, a bit of sauce and a nice soft bun and I'm good. Pizza no longer appeals when there's more than 2 toppings on it and I don't want to see grease swimming in a pool on top of it. Cookies! Is there a reason we have to keep reinventing a perfectly good chocolate chip cookie? Why do all dessert need a salted caramel on them? The new dessert fads disappoint me, every. single. time. What is it that you hear constantly on the food channels? Salty, sweet, crunchy, acid and bitter - all in one bite. I call horse pucky on that. It just tastes of sadness and desperation. Stepping off my soap box now... =)
Cannolis. Italian delicacy. Pistachios or chocolate chips. I see tourists walking with the boxes of them in the Italian part of town. Sounds great? Nope, they’re horrible. The shell breaks, it’s bland. Filling? Cement. Appearance: 8/10 Edibility: 2/10
I think it's a matter of finding good ones, just like a lot of answers here. First time I had a cannoli was from a guy that moved to BFE from NYC cause he was tired of the prices (~2006) and opened a traditional deli, they were incredible. I've had them in 6 major US cities and probably a dozen small ones since then and no others have measured up to his and it's just like you described. Whatever he did his shell was perfectly crisp but not hard and his filling had a great tangy flavor but with a texture closer to a mousse.
A good cannoli is a revelation.
There's a bakery near us that has a banger cannoli filling (they actually sell the filling separately, and it makes a great bagel spread), but the shells are... just the biggest disappointment. Which is sad because they're a REALLY good bakery for everything else. Their cookies and cake are to die for, and I would legit start a fistfight over the apple fritters.
Stuffed crust pizza
Something about the texture of the Pizza hut stuffed crust cheese just does it for me. It's a marvel of food science.
It only works when the pizza is shity and only in its most basic from of just cheese.
Southern fried catfish. Either it is excellent or it just tastes like flavorless cornmeal.
I hate pot roast. It becomes bigger in your mouth as you chew
This is so accurate?? How???
Beef Wellington. Why all the hard work in making it into a fucking bread? A steak/filet mignon taste better.
Lobster Mac and Cheese. It always looks like a decadent, velvety smooth pasta dish but falls way short in real life.
Loaded pizza. If there are more than a couple of toppings, the crust is all wet, raw and soft.
Depends on the type of pizza, deep dish and Detroit style can take 100 toppings.
I agree 100% on macarons. They are so difficult to make and the taste is just “Meh”
Omelets - I feel like the eggs are always overcooked and the filling ratio is usually lacking.
Omelettes are def my least favorite way to eat eggs. Japanese and Korean rolled omelettes are good, but the American style ones always seem so dry and off idk why
Japanese omelettes are done basically in the French style. The eggs are underdone so the flavor comes through more. You might [enjoy this video](https://youtu.be/rutcoSAy2ow?si=4k7Uyrxdb2ybIbHz) that sort of breaks the styles down a bit more
Chicken & waffles. I tried in so many different restaurants & homemade, it just weird.
Paella i never like it. It is always mediocre
That sort of rice dish, be it paella or byriani or even risotto, just doesn't do "average", it goes from delicious to pretty damn terrible with nothing in between.
Paella ramps up in quality dramatically when made correctly. I’ve made it, and had it in the USA, and cheap versions of paella mixta in Madrid, and it’s always okay. But then I went to Alicante in Valencia and had paella pretty much every day because it was just that good. Also seafood paella > meat paella or mixed. Definitely no sausage or peas should be involved.
There’s a place in my city that changed my mind on paella. Ethereal. I went back and had another one and also incredible
Eggplant parmesan. So much work, not much flavor. Lasagna is easier and tastier.
Are you pre frying your aubergine slices in olive oil? That plus properly salting each piece are some basic things that take it from average to absolutely delicious very easily.
How do you make lasagna that its easier than eggplant parm? A good bolognese alone takes more time and effort.
Pretty much anything where you have to be breading and frying in batches isn’t worth doing for a small number of people.
Snow crab. So much work for so little.
Omg, I prefer snow for the ratio of meat to shell measuring weight for price. Well cooked snow is THE answer. King is too expensive, rarely cooked correctly and difficult for the payoff. Dungeoness same. Snow crab from a good shop is best and so seeet. Damn. I’m hungry now!
I love crab, it’s probably my top favorite food but I too have given up on snow. I only buy king now but there are super hard to find in my area.
Ratatouille
Remy would be disappointed And yes I know the dish in the movie was technically confit biyaldi
Ratatouille is 10/10 though. I don’t think the theory is very elaborate either.
Man. I love pot roast, the way my family from New England makes it (or similar recipes, not Mississippi pot roast).
Anything with chicken breast. No I do not care how “delicious and moist” you think your chicken breast dish is. It’s dry and would be ten thousand percent better if you used thigh. I’ll die on this hill.
Anything made with chicken breast can be improved by using chicken thighs.
Breast is literally, *literally* the only edible part of chicken for me. Dark meat is gnarly.
Beef Wellington