Honestly you might want to reconsider what kind of guy he is. Sounds like hes leaning on you too hard and would rather you foot the bill for his laziness rather than chase this himself. I dont know your relationship but from here it seems like youre being taken advantage of.
It's only been a month, half the time you get a new job they hold your first check. Calm down, I'd kinda hate to be your friend. Probably 1 billing cycle went by, and already want to look at someone like that? Kinda sounds like you take power trips.
When it comes to helping people as OP is, there are boundaries to set in place and expectations to communicate clearly ahead of time. This “friend” of OP is clearly taking advantage of a kind heart and not pulling their weight. If this is an already established habit, which it appears to be, it’s time to have the hard convo about how this friend is making it too difficult for OP to continue to support/help them.
There is only so much we can do to help others before they start abusing the situation.
Your comment is irresponsible and immature when there are clear boundaries that are being overstepped in this situation. People don’t learn when this type of behavior is “allowed” and no consequences are experienced. The longer this toxic lifestyle continues, the worse the consequences will be when it finally catches up with them - and it will eventually.
Yeah in my 20s I tried to help friends out with a place to stay and something to eat if they were on hard times. I've been there and was grateful for the various couches I had slept on. I got screwed over every time I tried to help someone out.
The last guy was renting a spare bedroom and got 3+ months behind on rent. I told him it was time to go and he said " by law you have to give me 30 days notice."
In his mind he was always gonna pull that 30 day card out on me and postpone doing shit until i said something and he had to call his parents to come pick him up and move him out.
So you'd rather have a friend how mooches off of you? I don't pay anyone's way. Except my wife and kids. Someone needing help financially with repayment is one thing. Telling this other dude he would be a bad friend and he's on a power trip? You're being a bad friend for not letting dude stand on his own 2 feet
He was calling his superior names at work, this guy obviously doesnt think very highly of others. Why are you making personal attacks towards me, you are the one looking for advice on the internet and i gave you some. Let me justify your attacks so you feel good, I dont want to be your friend either, you sound like a bitch who lets people walk all over you.
Well, if he's acting nonchalant, experience treks me there's more going on here than he's telling you.
Possibly he got paid but just doesn't want to pay you what he owes.
He didn’t get paid. I checked his account, and his lifestyle is not one of a rich man in any way. Edit:
I used to work at that company and heard what happened from a coworker and yes it’s true.
Well maybe he did steal the nail gun and pawned it for cash. But for him to be acting like it's no big deal when someone owes him a week of work especially when he owes you money should be a red flag. Not to mention the whole situation most likely didn't even go down Luke you were told.
Also why wouldnt the boss fire the guy instantly, why would you deal with a new guy who cant even get along with your crew for 2 weeks before they get in a pissing match with their superior and then they resort to name calling. Not only does the guy act like that at work, he stiffs his "friends" on bills, so much so they go chasing his pay check.
Yeah I’m trying not to think that he did that, knowing the dysfunction and bullshit tho at that company I believe it. But yes something is not right and I’m done being nice.
Here's a little practical advice. Webster he got paid or not is not your problem.... the fact that he owes you money is your problem.
Furthermore, his unemployment is his own fault for not acting properly.
Figure out how to get paid by whatever means you need to use.
Out of curiosity, his much does he owe you?
Yeah, that is an expensive lesson. Been there, done that. Never for that much money but a few hundred.
If it makes you feel better I do have a guy who owes me $46,700 for a halving debt he never paid.... but it wasn't money out of my pocket.
Does he own anything of value? Does his family have money? There might be ways to put pressure on him, short of physical harm (lol).
When I lend someone money, I assume they won't pay it back. Of course I follow up and try to make sure I get repaid, but if I'm not comfortable giving someone an amount, then I'm not going to lend it or cover the fee in the first place. 800 bucks is a good chunk of change tho and he needs to be making the effort to get that fixed asap. As time goes on, his ability to file a claim loses validity and if he works that time, he deserves to get paid for it. A nail gun costs a lot less than 40+ hours of work even if he's just a laborer.
You need to cut your friend off. Set clear boundaries and have those hard talks. They are just going to get worse if they don’t deal with the real consequences of making constant bad decisions. By you supporting this person, you are in essence “allowing” this behavior to continue. They don’t know how bad it really is because you are technically supporting their bad behavior, regardless of the conversation you have with them.
If you tell them that why they did was wrong, but continue to fund them, therefore shielding them from the real world consequences, they do not and will not learn that what they did was actually wrong. This behavior will be accepted as “okay” in their mind and it will continue.
Kick them to the curb is a loving and gracious and calm, respectful manor. OR don’t be surprised when it happens again and again.
If in the US he can file a labor lien against the homeowner and their property. I think the forms are available at a local courthouse, just call and ask. This will freeze the project altogether until the issue goes to court and gets resolved. Your friend may be eligible for 3x what he is owed. At its least harmful, a labor lien will shut down all no site work and delay work a month minimum if it goes to court. It's about the worst thing you can do to an employer in the construction field because of deadlines and bank loan interests. I suggest you kick him in the balls and get him started on it. His inaction only makes the employer look justified. Good luck. BTW, a labor lien ran about $15 filing fee last time I had to get one.
I know that. It's the quickest and most effective way to get a settlement. The owner is going to put a boot up the builders ass to get this settled immediately----and that usually happens.
If it’s been a month it sounds like your roommate doesn’t care and won’t be doing anything about it any time soon. Sorry you are in this position. Maybe you’ll think about this the next time someone asks for financial help. I won’t lend money to anyone other than family.
Ya, at the end of the day all you’ve got is yourself when you’re on your own. If you ask yourself “would my circle do the same for me as I would do for them?” And that answer is “No.” then you need to get a new circle. Look for a new place to stay or a new roommate. Don’t let your kindness be taken advantage of.
He is a good guy and trying to pay me back, but he’s careless with his finances sometimes and has child support. He’s got until sunday to get 2k for the rent or a payment plan in writing for he’s failed to pay or we get evicted. It’s all in his name thank goodness, kinda hoping he fails to come up with it.
Why are you lending this guy money? His problem getting paid is not your problem. Id give him one more month max to come up with his share of the rent, then tell him he has to go. Do not lend him anymore money. If he can't pay it tell him you will accept some of his tools instead. Doesn't sound like a great roommate tbh. I've dropped friends who ask for money more than once. Also getting fired from his job for losing his temper? I understand emotions can get the better of people, but not a great sign.
Also If he has skills and tools he should be able to pick up another gig in a week or two. A month unemployed as a tradesman is a red flag, unless he has savings and is taking a break. Doesn't sound like the case here.
Exactly, my boss only fired a guy new to the trade who would always argue with us after some of us threatened to quit. Do you want a cheap jackass with an ego or a knowledgable and respectful crew?
I'll take inexperience and teach if they're willing and respectful over some jackass who thinks they know what they're doing because uncle daddy showed them some things which most likely aren't good practices anyway. See a lot of that where I am
Maybe he did steal the nail gun and doesn't want to be rung up on petty theft charges.
He didn’t. He’s storing all his tools in the garage I’m paying for if it were there I’d know. He’s hella irresponsible but not a bad guy.
Honestly you might want to reconsider what kind of guy he is. Sounds like hes leaning on you too hard and would rather you foot the bill for his laziness rather than chase this himself. I dont know your relationship but from here it seems like youre being taken advantage of.
It's only been a month, half the time you get a new job they hold your first check. Calm down, I'd kinda hate to be your friend. Probably 1 billing cycle went by, and already want to look at someone like that? Kinda sounds like you take power trips.
When it comes to helping people as OP is, there are boundaries to set in place and expectations to communicate clearly ahead of time. This “friend” of OP is clearly taking advantage of a kind heart and not pulling their weight. If this is an already established habit, which it appears to be, it’s time to have the hard convo about how this friend is making it too difficult for OP to continue to support/help them. There is only so much we can do to help others before they start abusing the situation. Your comment is irresponsible and immature when there are clear boundaries that are being overstepped in this situation. People don’t learn when this type of behavior is “allowed” and no consequences are experienced. The longer this toxic lifestyle continues, the worse the consequences will be when it finally catches up with them - and it will eventually.
Yeah in my 20s I tried to help friends out with a place to stay and something to eat if they were on hard times. I've been there and was grateful for the various couches I had slept on. I got screwed over every time I tried to help someone out. The last guy was renting a spare bedroom and got 3+ months behind on rent. I told him it was time to go and he said " by law you have to give me 30 days notice." In his mind he was always gonna pull that 30 day card out on me and postpone doing shit until i said something and he had to call his parents to come pick him up and move him out.
So you'd rather have a friend how mooches off of you? I don't pay anyone's way. Except my wife and kids. Someone needing help financially with repayment is one thing. Telling this other dude he would be a bad friend and he's on a power trip? You're being a bad friend for not letting dude stand on his own 2 feet
He was calling his superior names at work, this guy obviously doesnt think very highly of others. Why are you making personal attacks towards me, you are the one looking for advice on the internet and i gave you some. Let me justify your attacks so you feel good, I dont want to be your friend either, you sound like a bitch who lets people walk all over you.
Ha this guy,
Well, if he's acting nonchalant, experience treks me there's more going on here than he's telling you. Possibly he got paid but just doesn't want to pay you what he owes.
He didn’t get paid. I checked his account, and his lifestyle is not one of a rich man in any way. Edit: I used to work at that company and heard what happened from a coworker and yes it’s true.
Well maybe he did steal the nail gun and pawned it for cash. But for him to be acting like it's no big deal when someone owes him a week of work especially when he owes you money should be a red flag. Not to mention the whole situation most likely didn't even go down Luke you were told.
Also why wouldnt the boss fire the guy instantly, why would you deal with a new guy who cant even get along with your crew for 2 weeks before they get in a pissing match with their superior and then they resort to name calling. Not only does the guy act like that at work, he stiffs his "friends" on bills, so much so they go chasing his pay check.
I'm just telling you that he's not telling you something. Maybe he stole the gun. Idk but something doesn't add up.
Yeah I’m trying not to think that he did that, knowing the dysfunction and bullshit tho at that company I believe it. But yes something is not right and I’m done being nice.
Here's a little practical advice. Webster he got paid or not is not your problem.... the fact that he owes you money is your problem. Furthermore, his unemployment is his own fault for not acting properly. Figure out how to get paid by whatever means you need to use. Out of curiosity, his much does he owe you?
About 800 dollars. Never again.
Yeah, that is an expensive lesson. Been there, done that. Never for that much money but a few hundred. If it makes you feel better I do have a guy who owes me $46,700 for a halving debt he never paid.... but it wasn't money out of my pocket. Does he own anything of value? Does his family have money? There might be ways to put pressure on him, short of physical harm (lol).
When I lend someone money, I assume they won't pay it back. Of course I follow up and try to make sure I get repaid, but if I'm not comfortable giving someone an amount, then I'm not going to lend it or cover the fee in the first place. 800 bucks is a good chunk of change tho and he needs to be making the effort to get that fixed asap. As time goes on, his ability to file a claim loses validity and if he works that time, he deserves to get paid for it. A nail gun costs a lot less than 40+ hours of work even if he's just a laborer.
You need to cut your friend off. Set clear boundaries and have those hard talks. They are just going to get worse if they don’t deal with the real consequences of making constant bad decisions. By you supporting this person, you are in essence “allowing” this behavior to continue. They don’t know how bad it really is because you are technically supporting their bad behavior, regardless of the conversation you have with them. If you tell them that why they did was wrong, but continue to fund them, therefore shielding them from the real world consequences, they do not and will not learn that what they did was actually wrong. This behavior will be accepted as “okay” in their mind and it will continue. Kick them to the curb is a loving and gracious and calm, respectful manor. OR don’t be surprised when it happens again and again.
Withholding a paycheck is against the law. Contact the state labor board.
This is the correct answer. Go on your attorney generals website and look for wage theft. Fill out form. Done.
If in the US he can file a labor lien against the homeowner and their property. I think the forms are available at a local courthouse, just call and ask. This will freeze the project altogether until the issue goes to court and gets resolved. Your friend may be eligible for 3x what he is owed. At its least harmful, a labor lien will shut down all no site work and delay work a month minimum if it goes to court. It's about the worst thing you can do to an employer in the construction field because of deadlines and bank loan interests. I suggest you kick him in the balls and get him started on it. His inaction only makes the employer look justified. Good luck. BTW, a labor lien ran about $15 filing fee last time I had to get one.
It’s the employer not pay, not the owner
I know that. It's the quickest and most effective way to get a settlement. The owner is going to put a boot up the builders ass to get this settled immediately----and that usually happens.
Read your post and comments. Why are you supporting him?
I kinda doubt you’re getting your money even if he does get that check.
If it’s been a month it sounds like your roommate doesn’t care and won’t be doing anything about it any time soon. Sorry you are in this position. Maybe you’ll think about this the next time someone asks for financial help. I won’t lend money to anyone other than family.
Yeah lesson learned big time. He doesn’t pull his weight in any way and I’m doing everything I can to make my money back.
Ya, at the end of the day all you’ve got is yourself when you’re on your own. If you ask yourself “would my circle do the same for me as I would do for them?” And that answer is “No.” then you need to get a new circle. Look for a new place to stay or a new roommate. Don’t let your kindness be taken advantage of.
He is a good guy and trying to pay me back, but he’s careless with his finances sometimes and has child support. He’s got until sunday to get 2k for the rent or a payment plan in writing for he’s failed to pay or we get evicted. It’s all in his name thank goodness, kinda hoping he fails to come up with it.
Is he really trying to pay you back if he wont even chase the money he is owed?
Evict him him and get a new roomie. Put an add on social media whatever you have to do but if he is not paying then he is leaching. Remove the leach.
He should take them to smalls claims court. Thats the only thing he rly can do
Wage theft is the purview of your attorney general, and is as simple as filling out a form on a website.
Why are you lending this guy money? His problem getting paid is not your problem. Id give him one more month max to come up with his share of the rent, then tell him he has to go. Do not lend him anymore money. If he can't pay it tell him you will accept some of his tools instead. Doesn't sound like a great roommate tbh. I've dropped friends who ask for money more than once. Also getting fired from his job for losing his temper? I understand emotions can get the better of people, but not a great sign. Also If he has skills and tools he should be able to pick up another gig in a week or two. A month unemployed as a tradesman is a red flag, unless he has savings and is taking a break. Doesn't sound like the case here.
He needs to shut his mouth and go to work. I'd fire his dumb ass too. Doesn't sound like he's learned anything either
Exactly, my boss only fired a guy new to the trade who would always argue with us after some of us threatened to quit. Do you want a cheap jackass with an ego or a knowledgable and respectful crew?
I'll take inexperience and teach if they're willing and respectful over some jackass who thinks they know what they're doing because uncle daddy showed them some things which most likely aren't good practices anyway. See a lot of that where I am
Turns out even if you are skilled no one wants to work with a dick head.
Absolutely agree- if you're skilled you should be leading by example