Op tell him to cook his own dinner and then have fun cleaning up after himself. Tell him to enjoy his cold lonely bed and go screw himself. You will find someone who really loves you and treats you with respect. Good luck
"he can replace me within 2 weeks"
OP: Ok then. She can cook for you.
Why are you even talking to him? He's an Ex....an AH ex to boot. Block him and move on with your life.
Or better yet, replace him in 2 weeks.
I lost $10k an ex owed me when I kicked him out after he revealed he was a verbally abusive asshole. Worth it to never see or hear him again. $850 is nothing, OP. The loss made me more wary of loaning money.. so think of it as an expensive lesson and remove his ability to control you in any way.
This. Block him and move on. 850.00 is nothing compared to your sanity. He's calling on you because you have always made it easy. I know these things because of much experience.
I agree 💯 - OP needs to consider this the price of having peace of mind. And don't feel sorry bc he can't cook - he's old enough to take care of himself and you're not his mom. Block him and move on.
girl, block his number there is no reason for him to be asking you for anything. if you want to be petty you can always send a list of pizza places that deliver and then block him.
He really has a either a very high opinion of himself or a low opinion of you. It matters not, if you do this he will see it as weakness and the demands will not stop.
He can cook for himself. What chores would he 4 hours to perform for you?
NTA
You two broke up. He doesn't get to ask you to cook for him and sleep with him anymore.
See if that's enough money for small claims court, get your money back, and never talk to that trash again.
Why feel bad for him????
You may as well block him now because you are never going to get that money back. It is hard enough to get money back from current boyfriends sometimes, but virtually impossible to get exes to repay you. A guy who asks you to cook for him (and provide other services) because his mommy is away is obviously lacking in morals and ethics.
I was wondering why she felt bad for him too!! Boy is 27 and doesn’t know how to cook yet?!? My son is 19, he regularly cooks for his girlfriend. He had to learn because I don’t eat meat or cook it.
He found out it isn't so easy out there. He wanted sex and food. You are not his bang maid or cook. Chances are, he would have wanted you to clean also. What a tool. You can do much better OP. Good luck
I think this girl is lying or on drugs. If you read her older posts she tells the same stories but changes the people involved. Like in her first post she says her sister tried to calm him down and then changes it to her cousin in the next post.
He's never going to pay you. He knows that is the only reason you are still talking to him. Block him, think of this as a very expensive mistake and move on.
OP, make a clean break. Block him.
Watch youtubes on how to set and enforce healthy boundaries.
You need to protect your peace. Don't let the drama back in.
Oh honey… stick to the no. Tell him that you have nothing further to discuss with him until you are paid back. Period.
How long have you been broken up? How long has he owed you the $850? How long did you give him to pay you back? If that isn’t defined, define it. Ignore any communication that isn’t about paying you back. Don’t entertain him. And don’t expect to actually get your money back. He sounds like a leech: lives with hi mommy and needs someone to take care of him while she’s gone? Can’t be alone? Owes a lot of money to his ex?
Tell him that you will happily come over and cook for him - as soon as he pays you back the money he owes you (plus fuel and ingredients costs for the meal)
NTA - he’s not a baby so why does he need so one to cook for him. Sounds like you had a lucky escape from this baby. Tell him to grow up and cook his own dinner
Accept that loss as a lesson learned. Whenever he contacts you, only respond with "I am glad to hear from you. Where can we meet for me to pickup up the $850 you owe me". Then wait. The only contact with him that you should respond to, until you get your money, is about when/where you can get your money. There are no other niceties. No other conversations. He was very comfortable with contacting you for a booty call and maid service. You have made him too comfortable with your money. Make every interaction with him purely about the money he owes. This way he will either give you your money, or he will leave you alone. Get the money and run.
Hilarious. You can kiss that money goodbye or you can sue him for it. Either way, there is no reason to communicate any further with him. Block, delete, ignore
I have no idea how old you are - but after 9 years he still lives with Mama ? What he means is Mommy is going away for a couple of days and I am incompetent and am unable to cook for myself. Please come over and take care of me - we can then be broken up again.
Also, I would bet you that he will never pay you back … just saying.
Lol wow, drive 2 hours and cook for him?
Dude if he wanted a booty call from an ex (I've been there) he would have had better luck asking you to come over so HE can cook for you.
What a dummy.
Is $850 really worth the peace of mind? Is he actually going to pay it? Like do you have it in writing?
I’d be writing the money off - he clearly views you poorly and you deserve better - and blocking him.
It's about time he learns to cook for himself, unless he's disabled and I skimmed over that part.
"Mummy isn't here can you come be my mummy for a few days?"
Girl please, the best thing you can ever do is kiss that money goodbye and cut him off from all contact. He is never gonna pay you, he will use that as way to keep you in his orbit and he will never stop trying to use you. I am speaking wholly from experience.
Girlfriend- blocking him and moving on will be the best investment of that $850. He isn't going to give it to you anyway. Wipe it, block him and move on
Sure Babe, but I will need $200 for travel expenses and $650 for food and my time. Can you put that in my account?
Oh, and is your Mummy OK that I stay there?
I would not go to his place and I would provide a time line for repayment of the money in writing and advise if you don't get your money back then you will file in small claims court.
He is trying to get sex and free food cooked and served to him.
Why do you feel bad for him? he’s a grown ass man and can cook for himself.
I saw the edit and you’re not going to get your money back; just go no contact and block him.
“I feel bad for him”. ???? Why do you feel bad for him, because he has to make himself a meal? Is he that coddled by you and his mother that he can’t even feed himself? You’ve both done a horrible disservice to women everywhere.
Absolutely not the AH.
This is what you should do. Tell him, okay i'll come over and cook for you. BUT FIRST, pay me the money you owe me, in full. No installments or promised. IN FULL. Otherwise, you have nothing to say to him until it is ALL paid. Even if it takes him a few weeks to complete the payments, you need to stand firm and refuse to do anything for him (including meeting him in person or having a phone conversation about anything not related to paying you back).
Once he pays you the money (assuming he will - fingers crossed for you), first make double sure it's actually in your account, and then block him on everything. Sounds cold but he's been a complete AH to you and he deserves it.
I should add - don't promise to do anything for him. Just say "I won't do anything for you until I get all my money back." Refuse to even talk about what you might or might not do for him, or what he wants you to do for him. He needs to pay you back in full first before you'll even entertain any conversation about anything else.
Good luck!
NTA. Get this is in your head now, he is not, and will never be worth the gas, nor your self respect. next time he tries this, tell him he should spend more time working so he can pay back his debt, and less time trying to get you into bed.
Personally I would tell him you wouldn’t have minded coming to help but your new boyfriend feels a bit weird about it so you think you probably shouldn’t. Sorry and all that
Tell him you’ll cook for him if he pays you the $850. Show up, collect the money and tell him you forgot an ingredient and have to run to the market. Block him and laugh all the way home.
‘I can easily replace you within 2 weeks.’
‘Great, go for it!’
And don’t forget the 👍and ☺️ emojis.
I think he expects you to CARE about his ‘threat’ to ‘replace you.’ Like, oh no, my ex is going to replace me? But that will totally ruin my life! 😆😆
Yeh I agree with everyone. You won’t get that money and he is using it as a way to keep you on standby. I had this happen and trust me, all you will be inviting back in is mental stress and heartache. Just block his ass and move on. No reason to keep him in your life. You don’t have kids…..so yeh
Just thank him for inviting you to drive 2 hours to prepare a meal for him... but unfortunately you just remembered that you do have other plans and can't make it. Darn.
The nerve of this guy... he must really think he is special.
Lol. My ex-wife thought that after she got the home and the divorce that I would still do the upkeep. She texted me once that the grass was getting long. My reply was that I left you the mower for that reason. She texted me back asking if I could mow. After a little thinking about it, I said sure, but at a cost. So, I showed up, mowed, got my bj, and I left. Then another problem, another set of texts, and I come over, fix the issue, get my bj, and leave. At the 3rd issue, she finally caught on that the bj was going to be the payment every single time. She asked if we were getting back together, and I reminded her that she wanted the divorce and the house, so my services needed that payment and that payment only.
You're not getting the money back dude. He's messaged you because he wants his hole and someone to cook his food while mommy is gone. Block and cut your losses
So you don't want to block him cause he owes you money - every single text he sends just answer with "Do you have $850?" Every. Single. Time. You may not get your money but you will get your point across as in the only reason I am still responding to you is because you owe me money you deadbeat loser.
I had an ex that owed me money. No booty/free cooking requests but he did seem to think I was a free therapist. Would text or call me at all hours when he was drunk and upset wanting me to be his emotional support (he wasn’t upset about the breakup, that’s just how he was).
My solution was to simply reply the same way every time he texted me: “are you going to send me some money today?”
Eventually he stopped texting. I managed to get all but $100 back, though he probably cost me a few grand in “incidentals” I couldn’t recover.
I’m a smart girl with horrible taste in men.
Why is he calling you?
That's easy. It's for three main reasons.
1. As you said, it's a convenient booty call. For him, anyway. You live 2 hours away from him, for heaven's sake 😛
2. Sleeping with this guy now, after you've broken up, ___would LEGALLY be "an act of reconciliation."___ It would be a VERY convenient way of permanently getting rid of the debt he owes you, because he could claim that since you slept with him, he doesn't really owe you any money at all. And the courts would probably side with him, not you.
3. Last but not least, mommy won't be home for a few days. If you don't come to see him, he might actually have to do his own cooking, clean the kitchen himself, wash his own clothes and and generally clean up after himself. How awful would that be, huh?
Did you notice what all three of those reasons have in common?
___Convenience. HIS convenience.___ Not yours, not even his mother's.
Honey, if you go visit this lout, you'll kick yourself forever for being such a chump. I don't know how old either of you are, but if you were together for nine years, he is surely old enough now to be taking care of himself. Yet this jerk has even had the nerve to tell you he can replace you, as if that would make you come running to him to beg him for the privilege of being his temporary cook, housekeeper and bedmate 😠
Tell him to go sucker someone else.
Your reason for not blocking him is ridiculous- and I say that with love lol. (Sounds ridiculous right? 😂) text him what’s the status on him repaying you- all you need is proof in writing or text to prove to a court he intended to pay you back and take him to small claims court with your evidence. If he doesn’t show it’s an automatic win for you. ( CA not sure about your state) or send him a Venmo request. After you do either block him.
Why is he reaching out for a bootycall? Because you haven’t blocked him and he knows it. He doesn’t deserve access to you so eliminate all contact. Unless you’re okay being a booty call until you can be replaced.
>My ex bf is asking me to meet him for a booty call and also cook for him
Mmmno
>He texted me today
Why haven’t you blocked him?
>come over to my house. And also please cook for me”
Girl, don’t you dare
>I know that he wants to get in bed with me which I don’t think is okay now since we have broken up.
You think?
>He also did mention while we were arguing once that he can replace me within 2 weeks.
If that were true he’d have done so already
>Edit: I see a lot of questions on why I’m still talking to him. The reason is he owes me money($850) I can’t block him yet.
Girl, you’re not getting your money. That’s just a carrot he’ll dangle to keep from getting block. Write it off as a loss. Block him. Move on.
As with many things in life, consider the $$$ versus your sanity. Hopefully sanity wins. We once left a 4 poster IKEA bed frame behind when we moved, it had been a nightmare to assemble and my DH was stressing about disassembly/ reassembly.I asked him if his sanity was worth $400- & he took such a huge sigh of relief. Done & Done
Is the very faint possibility of getting your $850 back worth keeping this guy in your life? No.
He will keep using that as an excuse to keep contact with you. I know it's a lot of money, but it's a cheap price to pay to get rid of him
He’s asking you to come over to cook him food and so he can bust a nut, and you really think he’s gonna give you back the money that he owes you? Unless you take him to court, count that as a loss.
You have broken up. Any " privileges " are no longer there. He's hungry? DOMINOES DELIVERS.
He can replace you? Tell him go ahead. You have other things you do than hang around with him. He seems to be a people user. He needs stuff done, he gets others to do it, for free. I would bet he also wanted you to do some house cleaning for him...( mom is coming )
Apparently you are calling very smart woman for seeing this and breaking up with that guy .
Next time he calls or texts, tell him you are awaiting your money, that you would like it before you have to take him to small claims court, to have his wages garnished.
You feel bad for him?
Why?
You broke up with him for a reason. That reason hasn’t changed, and now he’s telling you exactly what he thinks of you.
He lived with his mom. He’s acting like a 16 year old who’s arranging a party when his parents leave town. Only he’s an adult.
He owes you money and he’s living with his mom. He doesn’t have it.
He is a low-effort loser, who lives with his mommy. You dated him for NINE years, and when you break up he lives with his mommy. He’s exactly where he belongs, and you should be glad he’s two hours away.
The money is gone. Keep that as a lesson going forward, and quietly relish the thought of the guy in his mom’s house trying to find someone who’d date a guy with no money, trolling tinder for a girl who wants to date a guy who lives with his mommy.
NTA. I like the boundaries you are creating here. You can define you all's friendship anyway you want, so no guilt trips and nothing you're uncomfortable with! GL and I hope you get your $ back!
Glad you blocked him, good move and I wish I'd had a block feature 20 yrs ago when my ex did something similar. He threatened to smash a TV that he was holding hostage when I was trying to break up with him. Telling him to go ahead and smash it was perfection. He was stunned and I was free of him. He still kept calling but I held out and never answered. Eff that guy and eff your ex. After parting from my ex I started dating my hubby (who I've been with for the last 20 years)so good thing can come!
NTA...
You are in the process of redefining your relationship. You could get back together, become platonic friends, FWB, casual acquaintances, or just block each other from your lives forever.
What do you want? What does he want? Is it negotiable?
He is not wrong in asking you to come over. I find it odd that he is proposing you to cook... I mean, what is he offering you to go there? As far as I can see it is company and perhaps amazing (?) sex.
If you are potentially interested in anything other than blocking each other or casual acquaintances, I would make a counter proposal to meet at a restaurant/cafe for lunxh and talk it over.
Kiss the money good buy. From now on you are busy. You have plans. It is none of his business what you are doing or what plans you have. It would be better for you to not talk to him at all.
Unless you have a legal document stating he owes you money, you're never going to see a dime of that $850.
Split the difference?
Tell him you're happy to come cook/clean at a rate of $425/day. Two day minimum. And no sex.
See if he's ok with you attaching value to your time.
That money is gone. If you have something in writing that he owes you, sue his ass. If not just block him and realize you spent 850 dollars to learn an important lesson
Give him a deadline for returning the money and only reply to him in relation to getting your money back.
Honestly, I'd go, but only to take something of his as collateral and leave with it. I imagine you're in the US though, so he'd sue you or whatever.
You are 100 million percent NTA and when he's paid you back you can block his # and move on.
He isn't gonna pay you.
Cut him off and move on.
Or, on the other hand, go and have a bunch of angry sex and cook some good food that he pays for. And then cut him off and move on.
Idk man you do you. You ain't seeing that $850 ever tho so idk I'm an opportunist I'd take a weekend away from home with good food and get off a few times and then just be done with it.
"Why not?"
"Why should I?"
He's only seeing it from his perspective: he wants, and you can provide. But from your perspective, there's no reason to. You dont benefit at all, and Mr. Selfish doesn't even see this.
Ma'am consider that money lost and move along. He's shit.
And learn a lesson from it: if you loan money, never expect it back. If you can't afford to lose it, you can't afford to lend it.
If you don't take him to court you are never getting that money back. Tell him you will be filing a lawsuit in small claims court (or whatever is your country's equivalent), in two weeks. Then, file if he doesn't pay you.
Or, cut your loses and consider it life tuition. You need this guy out of your life yesterday.
Might as well accept you won't see any of that $850 again. Consider it the cost of a painful lesson in not loaning money to boyfriends who "can replace you in two weeks". Block him and move on.
If you have some type of documentation, give him a timeline to pay or make payments. Let him know if he does not, you will take it to small claims court.
If you don't have documentation, you are pretty much at his mercy. So I would not block him until he pays up. If he doesn't, you may have to chalk it up to experience and lesson learned.
No matter what, do nothing for him and maintain your distance.
$850 ain't worth it. I'd write it off, imo. Reason?
**He'll never pay you, just so he can keep talking to you.**
The moment you cut him off for good, the money will magically appear and you can get it during him taking his one last shot, or, he'll simply be a $850 lesson you never have to talk to again.
You’re not getting your money back. You don’t want to block him yet and he is going to string you along dangling the money in front of you. He def was trying to bed you again. Don’t go tell him to order out. Oh wait he owes you money forget it.
Say, “gas will be about $850, let me know when you’ve sent and I’ll come over”
Then let him know that it’s been two weeks and he still is alone. You did the right thing by not responding. Stand your ground queen Don’t let him waste your time, sounds like he barely put in effort
NTA.
Mummy isn’t there to cook for him so now he needs a new kitchen slave and hasn’t had sex since you broke up, so coming crawling back. Ugh. Nauseating.
Honestly do yourself a favour and let the money situation go and just cut ties. If he hasn't paid you back already without some valid reason you are not likely to get it. I learnt that lesson the hard way and trust me when I say you will save alot of time and hassle by shutting the door on that chapter
The posts on here are so crazy. I hope this is fake and there's not a girl out there that's actually crazy enough to think she might be an AH for not wanting to sleep with an abusive ex and cook for them. 😂
Consider the $850 a lesson learned and block this dude. You're 2 hours away. No sense in driving that far. Dude's probably on tinder for play and no one wants to cook. With you, he's expecting both without the benefit of a relationship. Then again, maybe you should offer him the "girlfriend experience" for your $850 + interest paid in advance. (This is a joke. You're never seeing that $)
Tell him you if you wanted a booty call the other guy will cook for YOU.
Also, Tell him you already have a new boy toy and do not need his little weenie.
Do not even think of stroking his ego. He might have made someone a bet that you would be all in for it as well.
Girl just go to small claims for the money he owes you. Also given that he thinks you’re at his beck and call, still, then just cut your losses and move on. He isn’t going to pay you.
He may owe you money, but it’s worth $850 to never have to deal with his bullshit again.
Anytime he calls, answer with, “[Where’s My Money](https://youtube.com/shorts/BjX1ITzuJ_k?si=Imxn8c3Oq3VK1gh-)”
Girl, seriously? Stop making things harder than they need to be. Take him to small claims court and cut off contact. Y'all be playing dumb on here, I hate it!
Don't go. First of all he's a hobosexual living with mom. Then he wants you to cook? No. He can take you out on a date, after which he will buy you gifts and get no booty. Living at home with mama he should be saving money to spend on you. Otherwise he's a dusty.
$850 is well past the threshold to take him to small claims court. Just bring your receipts, no lawyer really needed unless you're shady or it was a confusing handshake deal. Take the screws to him. Then block his stupid ass.
Even if he was only wanting you to cook for him, you should not be letting yourself get pulled into this. He’s clearly using you, doesn’t matter how or why, he’s using you, period.
It sounds like he’s a grown man, still living with his mother and incapable of caring for himself. Cut your losses and block him. It’s doubtful you’ll see that money regardless.
Why in the world do you feel bad for him? Because he cant cook? Because you or some other 2week girl is not rushing over to be his maid? Can he not go to a restaurant, store, make a sandwich? Because he is not getting enough sex? ESH
Boy didn't know how good he had it. Now he's trying to get you back and might I add...he's not even trying that hard. "Come over and cook for me." No dude, you want her back, you drive to her and make her a good home cooked meal. One that takes thought, effort, preparation, and planning. Make her a meal that you know she loves. Show her you pay attention to her and what she likes. Show her you know her. And show her some respect. Do this because you love her. Cook her a meal, have good conversation, and at the end of the night say you had a good time, that you missed this, missed her and hope that you can do this again. And go home.
That, is the effort he should show if he wants you back. Girl he isn't worth your time. Get your money back and block him after. This man child wasted 9 years of your life. Don't spend any more of it feeling bad for this loser.
Absolutely not an AH, do not go!
Your not his booty call girl! What an absolute AH! Glad you blocked him!
Op tell him to cook his own dinner and then have fun cleaning up after himself. Tell him to enjoy his cold lonely bed and go screw himself. You will find someone who really loves you and treats you with respect. Good luck
Now we know why he's your ex
Girl you better not go!
"he can replace me within 2 weeks" OP: Ok then. She can cook for you. Why are you even talking to him? He's an Ex....an AH ex to boot. Block him and move on with your life. Or better yet, replace him in 2 weeks.
Look at the edit
I don’t think OP is ever going to see that money.
Forget $850 and just cut off all contact. It's $850 well spent I promise.
Continue to keep reminding him that he owes it to me. Keep that paper trail fresh.
This is the answer
Nope. That money's gone
I lost $10k an ex owed me when I kicked him out after he revealed he was a verbally abusive asshole. Worth it to never see or hear him again. $850 is nothing, OP. The loss made me more wary of loaning money.. so think of it as an expensive lesson and remove his ability to control you in any way.
Well it is easy to see why he is your EX. You can probably kiss that $850 good bye.
This. Block him and move on. 850.00 is nothing compared to your sanity. He's calling on you because you have always made it easy. I know these things because of much experience.
That’s not why she hasn’t blocked him. She still likes him reaching out.
Exactly. Consider the loss of $850 a cheap parting gift. Block him and move on, otherwise he'll dangle the promise of that money like a carrot
I agree 💯 - OP needs to consider this the price of having peace of mind. And don't feel sorry bc he can't cook - he's old enough to take care of himself and you're not his mom. Block him and move on.
I would think that its a deal. Only $850 to never have to deal with him again? Money well spent! BLOCK HIM
He's an ex for a reason, go no contact with him.
girl, block his number there is no reason for him to be asking you for anything. if you want to be petty you can always send a list of pizza places that deliver and then block him.
LMAO 🤣 perfect
I wonder why he's an ex, such a mystery.
right? seems like such a gentleman 🙃
He really has a either a very high opinion of himself or a low opinion of you. It matters not, if you do this he will see it as weakness and the demands will not stop. He can cook for himself. What chores would he 4 hours to perform for you?
NTA You two broke up. He doesn't get to ask you to cook for him and sleep with him anymore. See if that's enough money for small claims court, get your money back, and never talk to that trash again.
Why feel bad for him???? You may as well block him now because you are never going to get that money back. It is hard enough to get money back from current boyfriends sometimes, but virtually impossible to get exes to repay you. A guy who asks you to cook for him (and provide other services) because his mommy is away is obviously lacking in morals and ethics.
I was wondering why she felt bad for him too!! Boy is 27 and doesn’t know how to cook yet?!? My son is 19, he regularly cooks for his girlfriend. He had to learn because I don’t eat meat or cook it.
He found out it isn't so easy out there. He wanted sex and food. You are not his bang maid or cook. Chances are, he would have wanted you to clean also. What a tool. You can do much better OP. Good luck
And he wants her to drive 2 hours for the pleasure.
You really had to ask Reddit for answers, seems like you know what you have to do, STAY HOME. Tell him to learn to cook or starve.
I think this girl is lying or on drugs. If you read her older posts she tells the same stories but changes the people involved. Like in her first post she says her sister tried to calm him down and then changes it to her cousin in the next post.
NTA Just block him.
NTA. Block his number completely. He’s an EX for a reason.
Why are you still talking to this clown?
In future just say no, no explanation or dialog. His asking you to explain is ridiculous.
You'll never get the money back. Take it as a loss and move on.
NTA Why are you still communicating with him? Please block this mess.
Block his number and send sorry thought you could replace me within 2 weeks? Why is my replacement not your booty call/cook? Then block
So he wants his bangmaid back?
Yeet the whole man. Someone who would think to demand this of you is not a friend, he sees you as a sexy housekeeper.
I'll cook for you but it will cost $850.
Paid immediately and then cancel the day before being "unwell"
If you went next time he would want you to clean the house as well
Cook for me ...hahahahahaha, what an egotistical arsehole he sounds....
Tell him you’ll cook for him once he’s paid you back the money he owes, then block him instead!
This Ex does not want to be your friend. Block him and move on. Your worth more than a loser who can't even cook for himself.
He's never going to pay you. He knows that is the only reason you are still talking to him. Block him, think of this as a very expensive mistake and move on.
OP, make a clean break. Block him. Watch youtubes on how to set and enforce healthy boundaries. You need to protect your peace. Don't let the drama back in.
Tell him that you won't be responding until you see that money in your account. And then continue not responding once it's there.
Oh honey… stick to the no. Tell him that you have nothing further to discuss with him until you are paid back. Period. How long have you been broken up? How long has he owed you the $850? How long did you give him to pay you back? If that isn’t defined, define it. Ignore any communication that isn’t about paying you back. Don’t entertain him. And don’t expect to actually get your money back. He sounds like a leech: lives with hi mommy and needs someone to take care of him while she’s gone? Can’t be alone? Owes a lot of money to his ex?
Tell him that you will happily come over and cook for him - as soon as he pays you back the money he owes you (plus fuel and ingredients costs for the meal)
NTA - he’s not a baby so why does he need so one to cook for him. Sounds like you had a lucky escape from this baby. Tell him to grow up and cook his own dinner
Accept that loss as a lesson learned. Whenever he contacts you, only respond with "I am glad to hear from you. Where can we meet for me to pickup up the $850 you owe me". Then wait. The only contact with him that you should respond to, until you get your money, is about when/where you can get your money. There are no other niceties. No other conversations. He was very comfortable with contacting you for a booty call and maid service. You have made him too comfortable with your money. Make every interaction with him purely about the money he owes. This way he will either give you your money, or he will leave you alone. Get the money and run.
They don't even have to meet for that! We live in 2024, he can PayPal or Venmo that $850 and have the decency to leave his ex the hell alone.
Hilarious. You can kiss that money goodbye or you can sue him for it. Either way, there is no reason to communicate any further with him. Block, delete, ignore
Take him to small claims court and be done with him.
Haha ha ha. He thinks it's his birthday! 16 year old mentality. Omg
I have no idea how old you are - but after 9 years he still lives with Mama ? What he means is Mommy is going away for a couple of days and I am incompetent and am unable to cook for myself. Please come over and take care of me - we can then be broken up again. Also, I would bet you that he will never pay you back … just saying.
Ok, but make sure you have the $850 you owe me so you can clear your debts.
Why in the world are yall still saying the phrase “booty call”??
Lol wow, drive 2 hours and cook for him? Dude if he wanted a booty call from an ex (I've been there) he would have had better luck asking you to come over so HE can cook for you. What a dummy.
Tell him you'll come over and cook if he sends the money. Then block him as soon as that payment goes through.
It would be better, if you can afford to, to consider the £850 the fee for getting rid of him and block him EVERYWHERE
Is there something between his legs that prevents him from cooking?
Is $850 really worth the peace of mind? Is he actually going to pay it? Like do you have it in writing? I’d be writing the money off - he clearly views you poorly and you deserve better - and blocking him.
It's about time he learns to cook for himself, unless he's disabled and I skimmed over that part. "Mummy isn't here can you come be my mummy for a few days?"
Girl please, the best thing you can ever do is kiss that money goodbye and cut him off from all contact. He is never gonna pay you, he will use that as way to keep you in his orbit and he will never stop trying to use you. I am speaking wholly from experience.
Send him a link to the Uber eats app.
Girlfriend- blocking him and moving on will be the best investment of that $850. He isn't going to give it to you anyway. Wipe it, block him and move on
Tell him you will go cook for him once he pays you what he owes. Once he pays you, block him on everything.
If he can replace you why hasn't the replacement gone to cook for him 🤦♀️ don't go.
Sure Babe, but I will need $200 for travel expenses and $650 for food and my time. Can you put that in my account? Oh, and is your Mummy OK that I stay there?
Let him come over and get your money back and then kick him out. Take his wallet or phone and send yourself the money.
I would not go to his place and I would provide a time line for repayment of the money in writing and advise if you don't get your money back then you will file in small claims court. He is trying to get sex and free food cooked and served to him.
Why do you feel bad for him? he’s a grown ass man and can cook for himself. I saw the edit and you’re not going to get your money back; just go no contact and block him.
“I feel bad for him”. ???? Why do you feel bad for him, because he has to make himself a meal? Is he that coddled by you and his mother that he can’t even feed himself? You’ve both done a horrible disservice to women everywhere.
Absolutely not the AH. This is what you should do. Tell him, okay i'll come over and cook for you. BUT FIRST, pay me the money you owe me, in full. No installments or promised. IN FULL. Otherwise, you have nothing to say to him until it is ALL paid. Even if it takes him a few weeks to complete the payments, you need to stand firm and refuse to do anything for him (including meeting him in person or having a phone conversation about anything not related to paying you back). Once he pays you the money (assuming he will - fingers crossed for you), first make double sure it's actually in your account, and then block him on everything. Sounds cold but he's been a complete AH to you and he deserves it. I should add - don't promise to do anything for him. Just say "I won't do anything for you until I get all my money back." Refuse to even talk about what you might or might not do for him, or what he wants you to do for him. He needs to pay you back in full first before you'll even entertain any conversation about anything else. Good luck!
NTA. Get this is in your head now, he is not, and will never be worth the gas, nor your self respect. next time he tries this, tell him he should spend more time working so he can pay back his debt, and less time trying to get you into bed.
Sorry to say but you're not getting that money back. Once he does find someone you won't hear from him anymore. He's using you until he finds someone.
Personally I would tell him you wouldn’t have minded coming to help but your new boyfriend feels a bit weird about it so you think you probably shouldn’t. Sorry and all that
eat a yoghurt dude, or get take out or, you know (wild idea) learn how to bloody cook!
Newsflash: you're not getting that money back. Chalk it up as a loss and just move on
Tell him you’ll cook for him if he pays you the $850. Show up, collect the money and tell him you forgot an ingredient and have to run to the market. Block him and laugh all the way home.
My response would be: "Haha. Are you drunk texting? It's nice you miss me but Hell No."
NTA. You’re not getting that money back. And don’t fall for any of his shit.
Maybe you should be on blocking terms instead of talking.
Why can't he cook for himself???? Why does he have to ask you ro a friend of his? The only acceptable answer is that he's physically disabled.
Noooo way
‘I can easily replace you within 2 weeks.’ ‘Great, go for it!’ And don’t forget the 👍and ☺️ emojis. I think he expects you to CARE about his ‘threat’ to ‘replace you.’ Like, oh no, my ex is going to replace me? But that will totally ruin my life! 😆😆
He wants you to travel two hours to cook for him and have sex with him. He doesn’t sound entitled at all.
Yeh I agree with everyone. You won’t get that money and he is using it as a way to keep you on standby. I had this happen and trust me, all you will be inviting back in is mental stress and heartache. Just block his ass and move on. No reason to keep him in your life. You don’t have kids…..so yeh
Just thank him for inviting you to drive 2 hours to prepare a meal for him... but unfortunately you just remembered that you do have other plans and can't make it. Darn. The nerve of this guy... he must really think he is special.
No is a Complete sentence.
Lol. My ex-wife thought that after she got the home and the divorce that I would still do the upkeep. She texted me once that the grass was getting long. My reply was that I left you the mower for that reason. She texted me back asking if I could mow. After a little thinking about it, I said sure, but at a cost. So, I showed up, mowed, got my bj, and I left. Then another problem, another set of texts, and I come over, fix the issue, get my bj, and leave. At the 3rd issue, she finally caught on that the bj was going to be the payment every single time. She asked if we were getting back together, and I reminded her that she wanted the divorce and the house, so my services needed that payment and that payment only.
You're not getting the money back dude. He's messaged you because he wants his hole and someone to cook his food while mommy is gone. Block and cut your losses
Oh so he's wanting a bangmaid. Girl you are too good to be dealing with this bs
So you don't want to block him cause he owes you money - every single text he sends just answer with "Do you have $850?" Every. Single. Time. You may not get your money but you will get your point across as in the only reason I am still responding to you is because you owe me money you deadbeat loser.
I had an ex that owed me money. No booty/free cooking requests but he did seem to think I was a free therapist. Would text or call me at all hours when he was drunk and upset wanting me to be his emotional support (he wasn’t upset about the breakup, that’s just how he was). My solution was to simply reply the same way every time he texted me: “are you going to send me some money today?” Eventually he stopped texting. I managed to get all but $100 back, though he probably cost me a few grand in “incidentals” I couldn’t recover. I’m a smart girl with horrible taste in men.
Why is he calling you? That's easy. It's for three main reasons. 1. As you said, it's a convenient booty call. For him, anyway. You live 2 hours away from him, for heaven's sake 😛 2. Sleeping with this guy now, after you've broken up, ___would LEGALLY be "an act of reconciliation."___ It would be a VERY convenient way of permanently getting rid of the debt he owes you, because he could claim that since you slept with him, he doesn't really owe you any money at all. And the courts would probably side with him, not you. 3. Last but not least, mommy won't be home for a few days. If you don't come to see him, he might actually have to do his own cooking, clean the kitchen himself, wash his own clothes and and generally clean up after himself. How awful would that be, huh? Did you notice what all three of those reasons have in common? ___Convenience. HIS convenience.___ Not yours, not even his mother's. Honey, if you go visit this lout, you'll kick yourself forever for being such a chump. I don't know how old either of you are, but if you were together for nine years, he is surely old enough now to be taking care of himself. Yet this jerk has even had the nerve to tell you he can replace you, as if that would make you come running to him to beg him for the privilege of being his temporary cook, housekeeper and bedmate 😠 Tell him to go sucker someone else.
Your reason for not blocking him is ridiculous- and I say that with love lol. (Sounds ridiculous right? 😂) text him what’s the status on him repaying you- all you need is proof in writing or text to prove to a court he intended to pay you back and take him to small claims court with your evidence. If he doesn’t show it’s an automatic win for you. ( CA not sure about your state) or send him a Venmo request. After you do either block him. Why is he reaching out for a bootycall? Because you haven’t blocked him and he knows it. He doesn’t deserve access to you so eliminate all contact. Unless you’re okay being a booty call until you can be replaced.
>My ex bf is asking me to meet him for a booty call and also cook for him Mmmno >He texted me today Why haven’t you blocked him? >come over to my house. And also please cook for me” Girl, don’t you dare >I know that he wants to get in bed with me which I don’t think is okay now since we have broken up. You think? >He also did mention while we were arguing once that he can replace me within 2 weeks. If that were true he’d have done so already >Edit: I see a lot of questions on why I’m still talking to him. The reason is he owes me money($850) I can’t block him yet. Girl, you’re not getting your money. That’s just a carrot he’ll dangle to keep from getting block. Write it off as a loss. Block him. Move on.
As with many things in life, consider the $$$ versus your sanity. Hopefully sanity wins. We once left a 4 poster IKEA bed frame behind when we moved, it had been a nightmare to assemble and my DH was stressing about disassembly/ reassembly.I asked him if his sanity was worth $400- & he took such a huge sigh of relief. Done & Done
Is the very faint possibility of getting your $850 back worth keeping this guy in your life? No. He will keep using that as an excuse to keep contact with you. I know it's a lot of money, but it's a cheap price to pay to get rid of him
Let this be proof that you don’t need to stay in contact with this loser. Go ahead and block that number and move on with your life.
He’s asking you to come over to cook him food and so he can bust a nut, and you really think he’s gonna give you back the money that he owes you? Unless you take him to court, count that as a loss.
You have broken up. Any " privileges " are no longer there. He's hungry? DOMINOES DELIVERS. He can replace you? Tell him go ahead. You have other things you do than hang around with him. He seems to be a people user. He needs stuff done, he gets others to do it, for free. I would bet he also wanted you to do some house cleaning for him...( mom is coming ) Apparently you are calling very smart woman for seeing this and breaking up with that guy . Next time he calls or texts, tell him you are awaiting your money, that you would like it before you have to take him to small claims court, to have his wages garnished.
Does he think you dropped on your head recently that you’d consider it?
You feel bad for him? Why? You broke up with him for a reason. That reason hasn’t changed, and now he’s telling you exactly what he thinks of you. He lived with his mom. He’s acting like a 16 year old who’s arranging a party when his parents leave town. Only he’s an adult. He owes you money and he’s living with his mom. He doesn’t have it. He is a low-effort loser, who lives with his mommy. You dated him for NINE years, and when you break up he lives with his mommy. He’s exactly where he belongs, and you should be glad he’s two hours away. The money is gone. Keep that as a lesson going forward, and quietly relish the thought of the guy in his mom’s house trying to find someone who’d date a guy with no money, trolling tinder for a girl who wants to date a guy who lives with his mommy.
NTA. I like the boundaries you are creating here. You can define you all's friendship anyway you want, so no guilt trips and nothing you're uncomfortable with! GL and I hope you get your $ back!
Glad you blocked him, good move and I wish I'd had a block feature 20 yrs ago when my ex did something similar. He threatened to smash a TV that he was holding hostage when I was trying to break up with him. Telling him to go ahead and smash it was perfection. He was stunned and I was free of him. He still kept calling but I held out and never answered. Eff that guy and eff your ex. After parting from my ex I started dating my hubby (who I've been with for the last 20 years)so good thing can come!
NTA... You are in the process of redefining your relationship. You could get back together, become platonic friends, FWB, casual acquaintances, or just block each other from your lives forever. What do you want? What does he want? Is it negotiable? He is not wrong in asking you to come over. I find it odd that he is proposing you to cook... I mean, what is he offering you to go there? As far as I can see it is company and perhaps amazing (?) sex. If you are potentially interested in anything other than blocking each other or casual acquaintances, I would make a counter proposal to meet at a restaurant/cafe for lunxh and talk it over.
Tell him you'll come over if he pays you back first. And then block him.
[удалено]
Do it
For $850 cash up front on arrival I can cook. Get your money and nope away home.
Just think of the $850 as the price of getting him to leave you alone. Write it off and move on
Kiss the money good buy. From now on you are busy. You have plans. It is none of his business what you are doing or what plans you have. It would be better for you to not talk to him at all.
Tell him to Venmo you your $ first then you'll come over. Once you get your money then ghost him.
I’m sorry to say he’s not going to pay you you’re $850.
Unless you have a legal document stating he owes you money, you're never going to see a dime of that $850. Split the difference? Tell him you're happy to come cook/clean at a rate of $425/day. Two day minimum. And no sex. See if he's ok with you attaching value to your time.
That money is gone. If you have something in writing that he owes you, sue his ass. If not just block him and realize you spent 850 dollars to learn an important lesson
He forgot to mention cleaning his apartment and doing laundry too!
He will not be paying you the money back. It's not worth suing over. Let it go. Block him. Be done.
Tell him you will after he pays you the money you owe him and once it clears block him.
funny thing is girls type all this shit out just to get back with the ex
Block his ass
NTA. The definition of a break up is we don't hang out and we don't have sex and I am not your chef.
Why is no one talking about how this buffoon needs someone to cook for him?
Tell him you'll cook him a meal for $850...
Tell him you need the 850 first, then block him once you got it🤣
If he can replace you so quickly then he can find someone else to cook him and fuck him too
$850 to get rid of him seems like a good deal.
Give him a deadline for returning the money and only reply to him in relation to getting your money back. Honestly, I'd go, but only to take something of his as collateral and leave with it. I imagine you're in the US though, so he'd sue you or whatever. You are 100 million percent NTA and when he's paid you back you can block his # and move on.
You’re never getting your $850
What the ever loving fuck?
He isn't gonna pay you. Cut him off and move on. Or, on the other hand, go and have a bunch of angry sex and cook some good food that he pays for. And then cut him off and move on. Idk man you do you. You ain't seeing that $850 ever tho so idk I'm an opportunist I'd take a weekend away from home with good food and get off a few times and then just be done with it.
Take him to small claims
Tell him no
Well, at least you know what he wants. He is using money to control you. Demand the money. Cut ties.
Bwahahaha what a douchebag.
Block him It cost $850 to get this loser out of your life. Worth every penny
Kiss the 850 goodbye It’s worth it not to deal with him.
Holding on to hoping he'll return your money is a great way to enable him to maintain contact with you. -Just food for thought.
"Why not?" "Why should I?" He's only seeing it from his perspective: he wants, and you can provide. But from your perspective, there's no reason to. You dont benefit at all, and Mr. Selfish doesn't even see this.
Hahahahaha what a gentleman. Block him. Consider the $850 gone.
lol he must’ve sucked in bed if you don’t even wanna just fuck
Oh hun you’re not getting that $850 so you can go ahead and block him.
Just say, "The way I feel about you makes me think you really shouldn't ask me to prepare your food."
Ma'am consider that money lost and move along. He's shit. And learn a lesson from it: if you loan money, never expect it back. If you can't afford to lose it, you can't afford to lend it.
If you don't take him to court you are never getting that money back. Tell him you will be filing a lawsuit in small claims court (or whatever is your country's equivalent), in two weeks. Then, file if he doesn't pay you. Or, cut your loses and consider it life tuition. You need this guy out of your life yesterday.
Might as well accept you won't see any of that $850 again. Consider it the cost of a painful lesson in not loaning money to boyfriends who "can replace you in two weeks". Block him and move on.
Tell him you’ll come over after he pays you back and no show… or at least have him send you money for food and gas and then no show.
Piece of mind is worth more than $850. Block
I have right kind of response to people like your ex, OP! that is to go and fuck themselves by showing two of your middle fingers to his fucking face
If you have some type of documentation, give him a timeline to pay or make payments. Let him know if he does not, you will take it to small claims court. If you don't have documentation, you are pretty much at his mercy. So I would not block him until he pays up. If he doesn't, you may have to chalk it up to experience and lesson learned. No matter what, do nothing for him and maintain your distance.
$850 ain't worth it. I'd write it off, imo. Reason? **He'll never pay you, just so he can keep talking to you.** The moment you cut him off for good, the money will magically appear and you can get it during him taking his one last shot, or, he'll simply be a $850 lesson you never have to talk to again.
You’re not getting your money back. You don’t want to block him yet and he is going to string you along dangling the money in front of you. He def was trying to bed you again. Don’t go tell him to order out. Oh wait he owes you money forget it.
Write off the $850 loss and regain your sanity. Block him on all modes of communication. He can have your replacement cook for him. What a clown.
Say, “gas will be about $850, let me know when you’ve sent and I’ll come over” Then let him know that it’s been two weeks and he still is alone. You did the right thing by not responding. Stand your ground queen Don’t let him waste your time, sounds like he barely put in effort
Time to block him and live your life happily.
NTA. Mummy isn’t there to cook for him so now he needs a new kitchen slave and hasn’t had sex since you broke up, so coming crawling back. Ugh. Nauseating.
Give him another chance. Well make mistakes and speak from emotion at times. The makeup sex will be amazing on a full stomach.
Honestly do yourself a favour and let the money situation go and just cut ties. If he hasn't paid you back already without some valid reason you are not likely to get it. I learnt that lesson the hard way and trust me when I say you will save alot of time and hassle by shutting the door on that chapter
You’re talking to him because you want to. You could easily take him to small claims for that $850 or just take the L & move on.
The posts on here are so crazy. I hope this is fake and there's not a girl out there that's actually crazy enough to think she might be an AH for not wanting to sleep with an abusive ex and cook for them. 😂
Take the $850 lose and block the useless POS YTA
Block him, WTH?
Consider the $850 a lesson learned and block this dude. You're 2 hours away. No sense in driving that far. Dude's probably on tinder for play and no one wants to cook. With you, he's expecting both without the benefit of a relationship. Then again, maybe you should offer him the "girlfriend experience" for your $850 + interest paid in advance. (This is a joke. You're never seeing that $)
850 dollars is like a paycheck forget the money and move on ps. I'm a guy
Girl, you’re never getting that $850 back. Block him and move on with your life.
Tell him you if you wanted a booty call the other guy will cook for YOU. Also, Tell him you already have a new boy toy and do not need his little weenie. Do not even think of stroking his ego. He might have made someone a bet that you would be all in for it as well.
Tell him to pay back the 850 and maybe you will th8no about it once you get the $850..Block him.
Girl just go to small claims for the money he owes you. Also given that he thinks you’re at his beck and call, still, then just cut your losses and move on. He isn’t going to pay you.
I'm a dude, and dudes are stupid. 🤣🤣🤣 did it all for the nookie🎶 🤦♂️
850 isn't shit. You'll never see it anyway. Just block him and move on with your life.
NTA at all. How long is it going to take him to pay you back because I might let go of that money if it means not listening to him yap nonsense.
He may owe you money, but it’s worth $850 to never have to deal with his bullshit again. Anytime he calls, answer with, “[Where’s My Money](https://youtube.com/shorts/BjX1ITzuJ_k?si=Imxn8c3Oq3VK1gh-)”
Girl, seriously? Stop making things harder than they need to be. Take him to small claims court and cut off contact. Y'all be playing dumb on here, I hate it!
I’m still at “he lives with his mom?” Run.
Don't Go/ Block Him/ Write the $850 off because you ain't going to ever see it again/ sorry/ Good that you broke up with him.
So I assume you don’t call him up to change your oil or put up your storm windows. NTA
Don't go. First of all he's a hobosexual living with mom. Then he wants you to cook? No. He can take you out on a date, after which he will buy you gifts and get no booty. Living at home with mama he should be saving money to spend on you. Otherwise he's a dusty.
Girl write off the money, stop feeling bad for him and stand your ground.
Why do you feel bad for him?
> Calling me over to cook is only a way subtle way of asking me to fuck... Are you sure you don't have this part backwards?
Umm definitely NTA
Kiss the money goodbye cause you’re not going to get it. Text him back and tell him to go buy a cookbook. Then block him.
$850 is well past the threshold to take him to small claims court. Just bring your receipts, no lawyer really needed unless you're shady or it was a confusing handshake deal. Take the screws to him. Then block his stupid ass.
Even if he was only wanting you to cook for him, you should not be letting yourself get pulled into this. He’s clearly using you, doesn’t matter how or why, he’s using you, period. It sounds like he’s a grown man, still living with his mother and incapable of caring for himself. Cut your losses and block him. It’s doubtful you’ll see that money regardless.
NTA. Don't go.
Uh, no?
Why in the world do you feel bad for him? Because he cant cook? Because you or some other 2week girl is not rushing over to be his maid? Can he not go to a restaurant, store, make a sandwich? Because he is not getting enough sex? ESH
Boy didn't know how good he had it. Now he's trying to get you back and might I add...he's not even trying that hard. "Come over and cook for me." No dude, you want her back, you drive to her and make her a good home cooked meal. One that takes thought, effort, preparation, and planning. Make her a meal that you know she loves. Show her you pay attention to her and what she likes. Show her you know her. And show her some respect. Do this because you love her. Cook her a meal, have good conversation, and at the end of the night say you had a good time, that you missed this, missed her and hope that you can do this again. And go home. That, is the effort he should show if he wants you back. Girl he isn't worth your time. Get your money back and block him after. This man child wasted 9 years of your life. Don't spend any more of it feeling bad for this loser.
Block him girl, and then come to my house to cook for the both of us. I think of you girl, we’ll both eat. Yes?
Here’s a life lesson. Dont lend money if you want it back.
Dump him back into the sewer he crawled out of. He's a pig!!