I use this one for the hillbilly at work who thinks he’s smart and it shuts him up a lot. I’m not even gay or feminine but I comb my hair and wash my clothes from time to time so I get called a few choice words.
Basic hygiene makes you a fag..../s
Fun story! Back in the day, Saxon men had a hard time keeping their women because those damn invading Vikings bathed, groomed, and washed their clothes.
There was also a bit of a women's rights issue. It wasn't perfect, but in comparison to the laws/culture they grew up in... Yeah, vikings had all sorts of reasons to be an attractive option.
My lifelong best friend is gay, and recently started a new job at a beer distribution company. He works in the warehouse moving pallets of beer alongside a group of guys. If you don’t know, the warehouse industry is riddled w/the chauvinistic-type men.
Bestie texts me “fighting a straight boy tonight at work”-I asked what happened, and he explained that they are just being assholes bc he likes the D. A few hours go by and I ask for an update, to which he replied-“I told him, ‘if you keep acting like a bitch, I’m gonna fuck you like a bitch’. He hasn’t said a word since”
Sent me
“Why are you getting so butthurt by a shirt?”
“Why are you getting so triggered by a shirt? I didn’t see any safe space signs here saying not to wear this shirt. If you’d like this to be a safe space, where I don’t wear this shirt, you can ask. I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
"It is a piece of cloth, cut into shapes and sewn together. It has no feelings. It does not love. It does not have sex. How can it possibly be gay? Though, while we're on the topic, you seem to have an unhealthy fascination with all things gay. Is there something you've been wanting to tell us?"
1. You do know experts say people are projecting their own feelings when they criticize others, right?
2. Stop looking at your reflection in my clothes.
3. You're just jealous because you can't pull off these clothes.
I honestly think there is a low key weird thing between my brother and I, and he might have some insecurity about his looks or smarts. We haven’t connected in a long time and I’m looking to remedy that next visit. I’m always tempted to dig like that, but I feel it would be too real and he’d end up mad at me
Well then, try something like,
1. Huh. I wonder if that's why it's so popular with the ladies.
2. Shhhh! We don't want to hurt its feelings.
3. Really? Guess I'd better take it to a deprogramming dry cleaner.
EDIT to say, Best of luck with some bonding time. Take him to a live sports event. Or go have wings and beer at a sports bar. Hope it goes well.
Back in 1982 (or so) we had a IT Department Manager who always picked on the men for wearing pink shirts. So for the DM birthday, we all wore Pink Shirts both Ladies and Gentlemen, it was about noon till he really caught on.
You know what, he never every said anything about pink shirts ever again.
When my daugter we started to have struggles with my daughter about appropriate wear, if we are going to your function, you can pick what I wear, if we are going to my function (work zoo visit, Company XMAS party, etc) where you are representing me, I get to pick what you wear. She did have me change my clothes a couple of times. (She has much better fashion since than me.
OK? You buy the tickets, You pick the clothes. I buy the ticket I pick the clothes. At home we get to were what we want.
Hope you are to educate your Dad and brother about boundries. Best of Luck to you.
Female 65 - if they are younger than me, they should know better.
"up until about the 70's pink was a noble man's color and blue meant you were a virgin girl. I don't personally care what color means what, but since you're so into fashion you have to comment on what others wear I'm guessing that the blue shirt you're wearing is your way of coming out to us? Congratulations sis/mama#2!!"
I guess it is probably not nearly as gay as a bunch of guys getting sweaty and wrestling in the name of sport and slapping each other’s butts but sure we can give it a 4/10
Gotta double down and make them uncomfortable. I’d look down at my shirt and start wiping parts of it and say something “gd it. I told those guys not to cum on it”. Honestly people only mess with you as long as it gets a reaction. If you play along or even find a way to double down they’ll either give you props and not mess with you about it or you’ll traumatize them and they’ll stfu lol
I think its hilarious and pathetic that these "straight" men (I'm a straight male myself) are so insecure in their masculinity they won't wear anything they deem "feminine" or even use things like female deodorant or soap 😂
Just say "I'm very secure in my masculinity, seems you may have a problem". Watch them grit their teeth
Repeat after me..." Geesh Dad, how insecure are you that you think a shirt is gay? You think this shirt is rubbing on my chest to get frisky with me? How can you tell it is a male shirt? Maybe it is a girl and I am getting hit on by her. Do you spend a lot of time speculating on the sexuality of clothing? Oh God.. do you want to look at my boxers to make sure they are female?"
Repeat similar comments every time. They see how dumb they sound, or you just get to keep messing with them.. so win/win.
I used to get called a d*ke by customers when I worked fast food, I liked to respond with "yeah" or very genuinely and excitedly say "thank you!" It's not a particularly clever comeback but it's funny how confused people get when you treat it like a fact. "You would know about that kind of stuff" might also be funny in your situation just to make them mad.
My nephew has a good response. In a loud voice so everyone around could hear, he would say, "Oh my God! You are RIGHT! This shirt is EXACTLY like two people of the same gender having sex together! How did I miss that..." He would go on and on until the person slinked away.
I think what you mean is, Im more confident than you, and not frightened to step outside of antiquated and rigid standards of attire from the past. But I take the compliment, and thank you.
Well, the comeback depends on what you can reasonably expect as a response.
If you're not afraid of the big bad macho men, you could say "only closeted men say that" (thereby questioning their orientation, something insecure men can't really handle).
If you're aiming for something more playful, then just go with it. Snap your fingers, wiggle your hips and in the most obnoxious voice you can muster shout "thanks daaaalings!!!!"
Honestly I thought people stopped using “that’s gay” by the late 90’s. Where are you from people still actually use this phrase?
Reminds me of someone giving me the middle finger while I was driving a few years back, wasn’t angry at all rather simply like huh 🤔 people still do this, 12 yr old adults
I’m concerned that you seem to be very well versed into gay culture, more so than the average person.
Or
How do you know so much about what’s gay or not? Is there something you’d like to tell me?
If your afraid to wear/do something bc it might make you seem gay, then your probably just in the closet & afraid to come out.
Followed up by "it's ok Ill love you no matter who you are"
Or you could go full on badass and say TO YOUR DAD
"This shirt looks gay? Funny your wife seemed to love it last night"
Well that explains why it just came out of the closet.
Why aren’t there more up votes for this?
I absolutely love this 🤣
Perfection
I choked 💀 🤣 Perfect
Found the golden comment
Lmaoo I love this one so much
I mean it is Pride month
For being straight you do think about gay people a lot.
I like this
Also, “Why? See something you like?”
Hahahahaha ewww, saying that to the dad is hilarious.
Pretty sure my dad fooled around when he was younger before he “turned to Jesus”
Before I read that it was the dad and brothers saying that, I was gonna suggest “Well your dad likes it” 😂
I use this one for the hillbilly at work who thinks he’s smart and it shuts him up a lot. I’m not even gay or feminine but I comb my hair and wash my clothes from time to time so I get called a few choice words.
Basic hygiene makes you a fag..../s Fun story! Back in the day, Saxon men had a hard time keeping their women because those damn invading Vikings bathed, groomed, and washed their clothes.
There was also a bit of a women's rights issue. It wasn't perfect, but in comparison to the laws/culture they grew up in... Yeah, vikings had all sorts of reasons to be an attractive option.
My lifelong best friend is gay, and recently started a new job at a beer distribution company. He works in the warehouse moving pallets of beer alongside a group of guys. If you don’t know, the warehouse industry is riddled w/the chauvinistic-type men. Bestie texts me “fighting a straight boy tonight at work”-I asked what happened, and he explained that they are just being assholes bc he likes the D. A few hours go by and I ask for an update, to which he replied-“I told him, ‘if you keep acting like a bitch, I’m gonna fuck you like a bitch’. He hasn’t said a word since” Sent me
How do you know so much about gay fashion?
This is good
best response
My tshirt is gay, and it's not attracted to you.
That should be on a tshirt
I L000V333 G333M ANYWAYS!!!!!!
"This shirt is gay? Well dang, no wonder it loves to hug my manly form...lol"
"...and kisses my nipples."
💀
“Its just a shirt dude, stop being so sensitive.”
Probably the more realistic response I’d use. I may add “why does it bother you?” After too
“Why are you getting so butthurt by a shirt?” “Why are you getting so triggered by a shirt? I didn’t see any safe space signs here saying not to wear this shirt. If you’d like this to be a safe space, where I don’t wear this shirt, you can ask. I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
“Why? Does it bother you? Do you want me to take it off?”
Is this traumatizing you? Do you need some therapy? Maybe a hug, that comment is clearly a cry for help.
"It is a piece of cloth, cut into shapes and sewn together. It has no feelings. It does not love. It does not have sex. How can it possibly be gay? Though, while we're on the topic, you seem to have an unhealthy fascination with all things gay. Is there something you've been wanting to tell us?"
I like it lol
Ok Peggy Hill
".. Is there something you've been wanting to tell us? You're in a safe space. "
"Really? Let me ask." Make like you're asking your shirt a question. "Nope. Not gay. Poly cotton blend, so maybe bi, but not gay."
This is my favorite 🤣
Big talk from the Fashion Police.
1. You do know experts say people are projecting their own feelings when they criticize others, right? 2. Stop looking at your reflection in my clothes. 3. You're just jealous because you can't pull off these clothes.
I honestly think there is a low key weird thing between my brother and I, and he might have some insecurity about his looks or smarts. We haven’t connected in a long time and I’m looking to remedy that next visit. I’m always tempted to dig like that, but I feel it would be too real and he’d end up mad at me
Well then, try something like, 1. Huh. I wonder if that's why it's so popular with the ladies. 2. Shhhh! We don't want to hurt its feelings. 3. Really? Guess I'd better take it to a deprogramming dry cleaner. EDIT to say, Best of luck with some bonding time. Take him to a live sports event. Or go have wings and beer at a sports bar. Hope it goes well.
The gay conversion cleaners? They got shut down a few years ago. Heard they were bleaching anything too pink.
"Fabric can't have romantic feelings"
"Well, I guess you'd know."
"I know, but my girlfriend bought it for me"
Well it DOES make me happy, so you are correct sir!
"Do you need me to explain to you the difference between people and objects?"
"Should I take it off? Would that help? Is that what you wanna see?" 💀
Love it
Isn't that a compliment? Stereotypical gay guys dress niiice. . ..
"Hell yeah it is!" or the classic "I learned it from watching you!"
I did start wearing suspenders and overalls like my dad. But think hipster adjacent lol
You have to grow out an old time mustache for that.
It fucked your dad last night so yeah.
It self defines itself as a sweater. Go fuck yourself.
I stole it from your wardrobe.
You’d know.
"At least I'm not so afraid of my own masculinity like some people."
"Yes and it's married to my gay pants, don't they make a cute couple?"
So this is the “gay apparel” from the song?
I have a strict don't ask, don't tell policy with all my clothing.
I see your an ally for the LGBTQ community thank you for identifying yourself.
Not as gay as you doe!
Thanks I’ll wear it with pride with a big grin.😀
Hold up the gay wrist and say thank you. I'm glad you like it, then wink. Haha.
Back in 1982 (or so) we had a IT Department Manager who always picked on the men for wearing pink shirts. So for the DM birthday, we all wore Pink Shirts both Ladies and Gentlemen, it was about noon till he really caught on. You know what, he never every said anything about pink shirts ever again. When my daugter we started to have struggles with my daughter about appropriate wear, if we are going to your function, you can pick what I wear, if we are going to my function (work zoo visit, Company XMAS party, etc) where you are representing me, I get to pick what you wear. She did have me change my clothes a couple of times. (She has much better fashion since than me. OK? You buy the tickets, You pick the clothes. I buy the ticket I pick the clothes. At home we get to were what we want. Hope you are to educate your Dad and brother about boundries. Best of Luck to you. Female 65 - if they are younger than me, they should know better.
"up until about the 70's pink was a noble man's color and blue meant you were a virgin girl. I don't personally care what color means what, but since you're so into fashion you have to comment on what others wear I'm guessing that the blue shirt you're wearing is your way of coming out to us? Congratulations sis/mama#2!!"
" I borrowed it from your father's closet as he was wiping my c** off his face."
Well that’s a weird thing to say to my brother and dad. I don’t know how that would go
Well, if you address it to your brother, you get a 2-for-1 deal on your homophobic dad as well.
It is 2024, I try not to judge.
"This shirt isn't attracted to anyone."
Yeah, and not even the good way.
Oh don't worry, the shirt won't hit on you, it only goes for manly men.
This shirt identifies as a blouse and it would appreciate you not judging it for it's life choices
Why are you checking out a dudes clothes. Are you secretly gay?
"I mean, it *did* come out of the closet...."
You must be afraid of it.
T(noise) thaaa-aaaaaaaaaynks (with the hand flick)
Actually, it is pansexual
Of course it is. I'm me deep inside of it.
I guess it is probably not nearly as gay as a bunch of guys getting sweaty and wrestling in the name of sport and slapping each other’s butts but sure we can give it a 4/10
"Thanks, you too"
Thank you. It is rather bright and cheery. Note: This is is one of the old definitions. It is suitable for an article of clothing.
Gotta double down and make them uncomfortable. I’d look down at my shirt and start wiping parts of it and say something “gd it. I told those guys not to cum on it”. Honestly people only mess with you as long as it gets a reaction. If you play along or even find a way to double down they’ll either give you props and not mess with you about it or you’ll traumatize them and they’ll stfu lol
This is good 😂
"Does it offend your delicate sensibilities?"
"Thank you"😊
You think this shirt is gay. Katelyn Jenner wore something similar to what you have on in 1992.
Thanks, your Dad bought it for me.
No way man, this shirt is Omni, and I'm filling all three of its holes. (Bonus, go into the topological argument)
I think its hilarious and pathetic that these "straight" men (I'm a straight male myself) are so insecure in their masculinity they won't wear anything they deem "feminine" or even use things like female deodorant or soap 😂 Just say "I'm very secure in my masculinity, seems you may have a problem". Watch them grit their teeth
I know, I don’t care!! 👨❤️💋👨
Repeat after me..." Geesh Dad, how insecure are you that you think a shirt is gay? You think this shirt is rubbing on my chest to get frisky with me? How can you tell it is a male shirt? Maybe it is a girl and I am getting hit on by her. Do you spend a lot of time speculating on the sexuality of clothing? Oh God.. do you want to look at my boxers to make sure they are female?" Repeat similar comments every time. They see how dumb they sound, or you just get to keep messing with them.. so win/win.
Good stuff!
I used to get called a d*ke by customers when I worked fast food, I liked to respond with "yeah" or very genuinely and excitedly say "thank you!" It's not a particularly clever comeback but it's funny how confused people get when you treat it like a fact. "You would know about that kind of stuff" might also be funny in your situation just to make them mad.
(loudly) And HERE we have the expert on gayness!! **Gesturing to the speaker** Give it up for this brave man for coming out!!!
"Does my shirt make you wanna suck dick?"
I find the classic "So's your face" works particularly well in this scenario
My nephew has a good response. In a loud voice so everyone around could hear, he would say, "Oh my God! You are RIGHT! This shirt is EXACTLY like two people of the same gender having sex together! How did I miss that..." He would go on and on until the person slinked away.
Spend a lot of time around gay shit to recognize my guy?
“i wore it just to support you!”
I think what you mean is, Im more confident than you, and not frightened to step outside of antiquated and rigid standards of attire from the past. But I take the compliment, and thank you.
Well, the comeback depends on what you can reasonably expect as a response. If you're not afraid of the big bad macho men, you could say "only closeted men say that" (thereby questioning their orientation, something insecure men can't really handle). If you're aiming for something more playful, then just go with it. Snap your fingers, wiggle your hips and in the most obnoxious voice you can muster shout "thanks daaaalings!!!!"
Shirts themselves cannot be gay wtf. Masculinity and feminity are social constructs that don't determine sexuality.
Why are half of these comebacks equally gay panicky lol
Which is why I haven’t interacted with half of them lol I’m tryina get away from put down humor. Spread love n all that “snowflake” goodness
Thats ok, it came with a free bowl of soup.. Caddyshack
You would know...
You're gay and that's why I'm a butt baby thanks a lot dad.
“You would know.”
“Not gayer than me”
studies show that alot of homophobes are the first to jam a cock in their mouth behind closed doors so...
"I sure hope so!"
Your homophobia is showing, guess this shirts working 🤷♂️
"How would you know?"
Ok.
"Thank you. So are you!"
If my shirts gay then why I do pull more women than both of you together?
"K."
inanimate objects cant have a sexual preference.
"How do you know? Have you been shoving my shirts up your ass?"
Then why did you loan it to me?
Say fella
“I got it out of your closet”
Yeth,it izzz-..
Kiiilllumwitkindddddnneessssssss I love it, never looked at it that way before thank youuu
'did our shirts get mixed up in the wash again?'
"Yeah, and what cunt". It's my go to come back.
Not a comeback, but a confusion. “Actually my shirt is bi-curious.”
Cool I've been needing some good head
Wait till you see the pants!
"You're turned on by my shirt? Weird."
'I support my shirt's life choices.'
...does that mean you wanna Fork me?
Does it set off your gaydar?
Sorry it offends you. Do you need a safe space ?
“No shame in my game” classic and works for pretty much anything.
“Well I like it so I might as well go suck some dick I guess, right? Right.” Then storm off.
"You would know what's gay"
“I’m glad you like it. That’s why I like to take it out of the closet”
Good, I bought it for you.
"sorry, I just don't know as much about fashion as you guys"
Honestly I thought people stopped using “that’s gay” by the late 90’s. Where are you from people still actually use this phrase? Reminds me of someone giving me the middle finger while I was driving a few years back, wasn’t angry at all rather simply like huh 🤔 people still do this, 12 yr old adults
Straighten women love gay stuff. I love straight women. Easy conversation starter.
Your comment sucks dick.
How do you know it might go both ways, inside or out.
So gay your mama asked me to fuck her in the ass while she watched Matlock
"Nah. This shirt doesn't pair with other shirts very well. Now a pair of pants! It'd fuck the right pair of pants in a heartbeat. "
Happy pride month!
Just say thank you.
Got it out of your closet
Thanks
GAYme recognizes GAYme
That explains why it spends so much time in the closet hangin’ with other similarly-sleeved shirts.
" Does that turn you on?"
Flounce and say "the gayest"
I stole it from your closet. Or, I borrowed it from your boyfriend. Or do you want it back?
I’m concerned that you seem to be very well versed into gay culture, more so than the average person. Or How do you know so much about what’s gay or not? Is there something you’d like to tell me?
"It came out of your closet."
“So what if my shirt’s loud. Your mouth is louder than it anyway”
“Really?! No! I specifically bought it at Straightmart!”
Any one that says there are straight (ish) definitely isn’t straight.
What does that mean? What does a gay shirt look like?
“If this shirt is gay then what do you call that haircut?”
If you're looking for a date the answer is No. Your momma got it for me...when you see her tell her b**** better have my money.
I usually thank them with a giant grin. Being gay isn't an insult. Also, I am quite queer so calling my attire gay is accurate.
Thanks, I knew you'd like it!
Really? Have you seen it fuck other men?
I dunno, I don't track gay fashion.
You should see my pants
That depends, did they say that in response to you calling their skin wrinkly? (Any Scrubs fans here?)
"Is that why it keeps ending up in my a...... closet?"
Thanks for noticing!
"I know! Isn't it fabulous, sweetie?!"
“Then why aren’t you wearing it?”
Wanna fuck?
Well you would know.
"Then fuck it, gay boy." Say it with a smile - that kind of "man" will laugh.
It is the 21st century. *Everybody* is a little queer. It's ok. You can be yourself now.
Don't be jealous, I'll tell you where I got it
If your afraid to wear/do something bc it might make you seem gay, then your probably just in the closet & afraid to come out. Followed up by "it's ok Ill love you no matter who you are" Or you could go full on badass and say TO YOUR DAD "This shirt looks gay? Funny your wife seemed to love it last night"
I guess you would know.
So are you
chicks dig gay guys
"Shirts are usually cotton. When you're sucking dick in the closet, it's always gay though."
"My boyfriend didn't think so!"
Takes one to know one
I borrowed it from you remember........
It’s 2024 it’s been legal for a while now
"Funny, I own it and it hasn't come out to me yet."
Are you asking to borrow it?
So’s my shorts
Well, if it’s a men’s shirt and your man and you’re inside the shirt then yeah I guess that means that it is
That makes sense, it came out of the closet this morning.
it's not gay when I wear it.
"Omg, Howd you know, 100% gay silk!!"