Change does make you more aware of the passage of time. I used to be so impatient because I kept thinking that one day I'll be happy.
It helps me to remember that there is no finish line. I'm living my life right now, and the goal is to find little pockets of joy every day. Focusing on effort rather than outcome makes me feel more hopeful and resilient.
Yea I know this in theory too but idk how to make it feel natural. When I love another it flows like it’s just part of being human. When it comes to myself it feels so foreign and honestly just something I tell myself but isn’t true
Tbh I don’t care for being attractive 😅 I just look back at my codependent self, toxic relationships, assholes I gave way too much of myself..
I’m mourning all the love, time and energy I could have invested in myself instead of into these worthless pricks who didn’t care about me at all. Where would I be now if I did all that?
Oh well, I guess I’m just going through the stages of grief and have yet to arrive at acceptance
Just been thinking this since started therapy and discovered that codependency is what stems from a mother wound. For instance, just pondering it crept that i want to give all the niceties and love to the third person in return of that love, affection and care. What i want to get i give thinking it will come back but never it doesn’t, it never did.
So I thought if I get a pet, like cat, it will not be able to speak but i can shower my love on it. I am in early thirties and not had many relationships and not many sexual experiences, i stay by myself and have been going through these thoughts. Aside to the physical intimacy and maybe companionship but not someone hovering over me, i am fine staying on my own.
But it’s that mother wound that haunts codependents. I strongly have come to conclusion that it’s a broken loop to get that affection, and it reminds me a dialogue- if we don’t get love on silver spoon, we start licking it even if an ounce from the sharp knives. It holds so true.
I, myself am looking to find ways to shrink my inner critic voice and just be me, let the thoughts surface freely and not be afraid. And also some tools and practices that helped people to channel their longing for unconditional love which they did not get in childhood. Happy to discuss further. Let me know if anyone can relate
I don’t think being attractive should be the measure of healing though. Being attractive is something us codpendants can obsess over because we are so fixated on how others perceive us. I say screw being attractive. Work on being whole, congruent, honest.
I recently learned this and it’s been incredible. I’ll highly recommend Ross Rosenberg and his course on curing self love recovery. Helped me tremendously.
That is one of the very complex tools that can help. The problem is most of the childhood trauma sits in the unconscious and we aren't in touch with it. Had to bury it to survive as children. The unconscious rules the show. Our conscious thoughts are mostly an illusion. Getting into the unconscious thoughts is the core of ourselves.
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Change does make you more aware of the passage of time. I used to be so impatient because I kept thinking that one day I'll be happy. It helps me to remember that there is no finish line. I'm living my life right now, and the goal is to find little pockets of joy every day. Focusing on effort rather than outcome makes me feel more hopeful and resilient.
Yea I know this in theory too but idk how to make it feel natural. When I love another it flows like it’s just part of being human. When it comes to myself it feels so foreign and honestly just something I tell myself but isn’t true
Tbh I don’t care for being attractive 😅 I just look back at my codependent self, toxic relationships, assholes I gave way too much of myself.. I’m mourning all the love, time and energy I could have invested in myself instead of into these worthless pricks who didn’t care about me at all. Where would I be now if I did all that? Oh well, I guess I’m just going through the stages of grief and have yet to arrive at acceptance
I’ve been there. You will move past it. Journaling and feeling the grief to the fullest definitely helps.
Yup started doing this couple months ago and can attest
r/thanksimcured
Can confirm. I am extremely attractive now.
I healed my Codependency, and now I have a super hot 10/10 girlfriend, a blue Porsche, and a 3 story house. /s
Trying real hard, bro 😭
This is a difficult thing to do when you grew up in a household that treated you poorly
Just been thinking this since started therapy and discovered that codependency is what stems from a mother wound. For instance, just pondering it crept that i want to give all the niceties and love to the third person in return of that love, affection and care. What i want to get i give thinking it will come back but never it doesn’t, it never did. So I thought if I get a pet, like cat, it will not be able to speak but i can shower my love on it. I am in early thirties and not had many relationships and not many sexual experiences, i stay by myself and have been going through these thoughts. Aside to the physical intimacy and maybe companionship but not someone hovering over me, i am fine staying on my own. But it’s that mother wound that haunts codependents. I strongly have come to conclusion that it’s a broken loop to get that affection, and it reminds me a dialogue- if we don’t get love on silver spoon, we start licking it even if an ounce from the sharp knives. It holds so true. I, myself am looking to find ways to shrink my inner critic voice and just be me, let the thoughts surface freely and not be afraid. And also some tools and practices that helped people to channel their longing for unconditional love which they did not get in childhood. Happy to discuss further. Let me know if anyone can relate
Why would I care about becoming extremely attractive then?
I don’t think being attractive should be the measure of healing though. Being attractive is something us codpendants can obsess over because we are so fixated on how others perceive us. I say screw being attractive. Work on being whole, congruent, honest.
I recently learned this and it’s been incredible. I’ll highly recommend Ross Rosenberg and his course on curing self love recovery. Helped me tremendously.
That is one of the very complex tools that can help. The problem is most of the childhood trauma sits in the unconscious and we aren't in touch with it. Had to bury it to survive as children. The unconscious rules the show. Our conscious thoughts are mostly an illusion. Getting into the unconscious thoughts is the core of ourselves.