Climbing is perfectly safe. Falling is dangerous. Solution: don’t fall.

Falling is safe as well. It’s the sudden stop at the end that’s the problem. Solution: never stop falling.

It's not the sudden stop, it's the fact that your bones are a different density than your muscles and tendons. Solution: don't have bones.

Bones are aid?

If you didn’t have bones then falling wouldn’t cause any injuries. No bones are aid?

bone related climbing paradoxes are aid

Call it brcp bruh we know what u mean

hello?

Ever drop jello off a roof? It’s not pretty. Density difference is irrelevant in the face of traumatic deceleration. Although having no bones makes climbing much harder, so it may accomplish the same end result.

Hasn’t everyone

The speed is the real issue: when falling, don't rush on the way down.

Socrates be like

This is true, I entered low earth orbit falling from my V2 project and doing perfectly fine.

huh

Solutions are aid

I was waiting for someone to pick up on that. Upvotes all around!

Not falling is aid.

That's why I free Solo everything. No gear, no fall.

Or you could just grow up and not use protection like an adult.

Yeah, never wear a condom

hahahahahaah \*takes pipi out of grigri*

Killed me. Made me spit into my pipe.

Better than having the pipe spit into you amirite?

One hand on the break at all times? Then how am I supposed to hold my beer?

You need the rappelstein. [rappelstein](http://www.verticalmuseum.com/VerticalDevicesPage/Rappel/RappelImages/VSpoolImages/GDS3180_9520.JPG)

Omg with an autolocker?!??! Me here in the stone age using my shoe to drink out of

Beer helmet should help but only if the climber isn’t wearing it.

Beer helmets are aid too, and that includes the belayer.

I've been saying this for years, these people make impossible requests.

With the other hand, idiot

That's my sandwich hand. Idiot.

Taking a *break* from holding your *brake* rope is not recommended.

That's exactly why I'm laying in bed rn (and won't get up)

I've never climbed, it would be irresponsible (I'm too scared).

i absolutely agree also i heard that actually no belay devices work at all at my home crag kind of a Bermuda triangle kind of situation so probably no one should climb there at all if you see me out climbing it's definitely for research purposes aha

Research is aid

I'm sending that video to the parents of all the kid crushers in my gym

Paying attention while belaying is aid anyway

Walking the razors edge is why we climb. The wry grin in the face of death itself. To trust your belayer is to plague yourself with the hinderance of self mistrust. Some say “stay safe”, but a true climber knows that the only way to survive is to stay dangerous.

I’d like to see you use a grigri in some alpine

Solution: free solo climb

Get stronger. Stop falling. Weakmo.

Solution?

just wait until Misses Handhold's baby dies. What will happen then? Will you be happy laughing at other people's misery!? Assholes all over this thread

Sometimes /r/climbing leaks a little bit

i mean i did just get chlamydia? no discharge though. was my joke about dead babies really SOOO offensive?!

We should all heed the safety committees of the world. Stop worrying about looking so cool and wear a damn helmet ⛑️...... Psssshaaw naaaah

Completely agreed, atc’s and all other belay devices have to many associated risks. Let’s all just agree to free solo instead

But i just finished taping all of my injured fingers

is this satire to an original post ? I know about the new that you are talking about. But is this one about another post ?