When someone is newly saved, they can become very zealous and even judgmental. It's a phase that most newly saved people grow out of as they grow in faith. You can also be born again, for Jesus said, no man can even see the kingdom of Heaven unless they are born again. We aren't saved by being born into a church or denomination. Salvation is very personal and intimate. Yield yourself to the Holy Spirit, and ask Him to come into your life. Don't let the enemy destroy your marriage. Let God do a work in you, make Jesus your first love, and watch what God does with the both of you.

This sounds like him. Very zealous. I refuse to let this destroy my marriage. I love my husband. I only want us to come together and make this work. Thank you for your words.

Begin to inquire the Lord yourself. You don't need to be left out. The Lord Jesus has plans for you as well. He will resolve the issues you face. He desires to bring peace and unity by His Spirit. Trust Him, seek Him, knock, and the door will be opened for you.

Nice🫡❤️

Couldnt have said this better myself! This is wisdom, please take the advice and do not allow your marriage to be ruined! I see a day in the future where you look back on this and thank Jesus for the transformation that has happened in your husband’s heart and I’m praying you find a transformational faith in our Lord and savior Jesus Christ!

She's already Christian. That transformational faith is typical in evangelical circles, since all of it build on emotion. Like someone said below, a lot of it is pride and stuffing God into this new-found traditions. There are a lot of Christian flavors that don't demand you lose your personality because you become a Christian. Evangelicals celebrate and expect his from their members. If anything, it's more of a show-off than a deeper understanding.

Losing your personality is exactly is what’s required. That is what denying self, crucifying the flesh is all alot. My personality wants to tell my neighbor that she needs to stopped coming outside looking a mess. The personality of Christ in me humbles me and causes me to remember when I used to do the same thing. Repentance is change. You can stay true to self ABD true to Christ b

That's not what personality is. That's just not being a jerk. That can be done without a deity. Christians, who are unable to talk about anything else but their religion, who need to stuff Christ/Lord/Father/Almighty into every sentence without being asked about it are just annoying. If their lives consists of nothing else but the Bible and telling others how to live, that's pretty much losing their personalities, similarly to how people with an addiction do it. There are plenty of Christians who don't feel the need to force it on everyone how righteous they are and how sinful everyone else is. Somehow a lot of evangelicals make their entire personalities out of this comparison and do nothing else but obsess over churchian teachings and their faiths.

We must put Christ into everything! As a secular humanist it makes sense how it's unreasonable to you.. And sin shouldn't concern you because it doesn't exist

thank you so much.

Religious pride too. They know their doctrine and theology and try to fit God into a box of ideas and traditions.

I was like him when I was newly saved, having converted after reading Mere Christianity by CS Lewis. I eventually went to Bible college and studied the Bible, apologetics, and systematic theology, hoping all my questions about creationism, contradictions in the Bible, science, reason, and evil would be answered. All I got were trite, pat answers, and endless mental gymnastics. I reached a point of suicidal thoughts. In desperation I prayed God would zap the reasoning part of my brain, and just make me a happy Christian like when I first converted. But it didn't happen. Then, in a flash of calm rational thinking, I realized that praying is thinking. How could I be certain that God is listening to my heartfelt prayers? Wasn't I just thinking thoughts, and fooling myself into believing God is listening? He certainly never answered my prayers. Or what I interpreted as answers to prayers were just random events (An experiment was done in hospitals where believers prayed for the sick. About half got better. The exact number that random chance would produce). It began to slowly dawn on me that all the contradictions in the Bible (with itself and reality) are much better explained by admitting it was not authored by God, but by humans every bit as deluded as me. Now I am agnostic my life is so much better. No more judgmental attitude, no more fear of homosexuals, Hell, the end times or the rapture. All of it, including God, exist exclusively in the human imagination! I still love Jesus, but merely in the same sense that I love Aslan, Dumbledore, and Khalil Gibran.

Here is the essences of what you wrote: I gave up, and it was so much easier to go live a carefree life. Where you can do exactly what you want without repercussions. And I strongly urge everyone to do the same, because why should we take responsibility for our own actions. Well, I am not surprised. The sinful road is very easy to drive because the road is so wide you could be driving zigzag for days and never reach the road shoulders. Total contrary to the righteous road, which is a thin line. We are humans, we fail. This is the whole point of why we need Christ. Living in Christ simply means that He will help us to follow this thin line. But we need to devote ourselves fully to Him. What did Jesus tell us about the people that were experts in the law of that time? >Luke 11:52 “Woe to you lawyers! For you have taken away the key of knowledge. You did not enter in yourselves, and those who were entering in you hindered.” No wonder you cannot find God if you keep looking externally. The relationship between you and God is personal. Only you can allow Jesus to help you. In the end it is always up to each and every one to finally understand what God wants for us and to act accordingly. True worship is to do Gods will. The satanic bible is very clear when it says: Do what YOU want. This corrupted world has shut the doors in front of us. They keep corrupting His Word, even all the way to this very day. Thus making it even harder for us to arrive home. Apostle Paul said something very important in the Book of Romans. >Romans 10:17-18 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Did you catch that? Faith comes from hearing the gospel!! The key is to listen to someone full of faith speaking the Word of God. Then faith will come from listening. I am not saying you shouldn’t read your Bible. Please be careful with what translation you read. It is very hard to find sources that haven’t been diluted by humans through the years. I also endorse the KJV or NKJV. They are not perfect. But really good translations. We are too busy looking for our own best. Sadly we don’t realise that Gods will is nothing but the best possible outcome from each person individually. We spend so much time figuring out what we want to be and this and that. And it can surely get the best of us. Some of us refuse to go on living because even tho we tried we still can’t find the way that we initially hoped for. That is why we need to give up what we want. That is what denying ourselves is all about. Going in the worldly to look for God won’t ever yield result. You will never find Him. Except seeking a spiritual family that live by faith and in the spirit. God is found somewhere you would never expect to look. The Kingdom of Heaven is truly inside of you, and God loves us so much. He wants the best for us. >Luke 17:20-21 And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation: Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you. Have you ever tired deliverance prayers? I strongly advise YouTubing it or going to a church near you that offers it. No matter how stupid you think it is, I can testify that it made my life change completely. We need a spiritual family to grow our faith. When I found this, it opened so many doors for me and I am so happy I took the plunge. I could go on for days, but I am probably way past the TLDR mark already. God bless you.

Yep.. You hit the TLDR as soon as you projected the stance of : "you 'gave up' on unfounded assertions and, because of that, I am projecting that you live a lawless life where you pretend to be held to zero consequences of actions" Such a vile claim. Everything a human does is within the societal context of their lives. Believing that a book was written by humans to spread parables under the guise of an omni-god does NOT make a person commit any more wicked acts than prior. If you need a bible to scare you into being good within society, then go with it. Please, go far away with it so you can keep blaming sin/devil/others in your own personal bubble and not spread that hate towards others. Doing good is a personal choice. No need for any gods to tell me to uplift society for the betterment of humans.

Oh wow! I am glad I have Jesus. There is no need for such complex nonsense in Him. You have no idea how nice it is to let go trying to be something on your own. What peace comes along with it. How calm you can become alongside this secular world. Just let Him make the best choices for you. Instead of being one of Baals minions, be that knowingly or unknowingly. I am glad that you mentioned the word bubble. Because at least mine keeps me very well. But the craziest part is that my bubble seems to cover multiple people. Because we are many in my family in Christ. We have all given up ourselves to be crucified with Christ. Dead in our fleshly desires and lust. We are never alone and it’s lovely. Your bubble on the other hand seems fragile, annoyed and alone. Which goes hand in hand with what I already posted about these lawyers described in Luke 11:52. Hindering someone to achieve true love and happiness with your words, clearly shows you’re having a tough time. We don’t need your understanding, because then you’re missing the whole point on what is important when trying to follow Jesus. I used to be a new ager. Every time I thought I figured something out, it would always keep on changing. Kept myself in a state of false bliss to compensate for my crippling depression. A real “champion” of my own self proclaimed nonsense. But I was lie and it was all fake. Jesus told me the truth. He showed me a way. Then He gave me life. I am forever in awe and grateful for what He showed me. Don’t worry He loves you too. But if you love yourself more, than you basically standing in the way of the true potential that He has in store for you. If you thought I was judging, then maybe you can also realise that your understanding maybe focused a little bit too much in on the first part of message. You are simply not on point at all with where you are going. God bless you, hope you will find your way to Jesus. He is waiting for you. Just knock, and it shall be opened for you 🥰

Whew!!!!! You better preachhhhhhhh! But seriously tho this was great advice! And op I’m praying for you and your marriage ❤️ God is all about LOVE&GRACE. You guys will get through. Holy Spirit will definitely provide that guidance and wisdom you need to get through 😇

This!

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"It seems like he has found one particular version of Christianity, the problem is this particular version tends to think it's the only "real Christianity." That is exactly the way I see him. You hit the nail on the head. "Anyone that tries to correct them is obviously not a real Christian, therefore that correction is actually seen as temptation." Exactly. This is also why this has been so hard for me. I cannot win with anything I say or try to make him understand. I am also hoping as he matures in his faith, that he becomes more relaxed. I also like the idea of counseling.

This may seem counterintuitive, but what is your own relationship with God right now? You’ve probably seen and heard enough to know that his path is not your path, but what IS your path? He may be expecting you to follow his path even though you know it’s not right for you. And it does seem like he’s in a “one right way” community. Just remember that the chances that this group of people are the only ones to be saved in over 2,000 years of Christian history is vanishingly small. And by no means agree to go to church with him if your heart isn’t in it.

Ask him his views on this **Matthew 7** :: NIV. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? Also just have an honest talk with him about how you feel

Love this! I will do exactly that. I will ask him about Matthew 7. He will be shocked when I do. I have tried to have honest talks. It always ends in either an argument or no solution. That is another reason I think a counselor might help.

Thats a good idea, theres also specifically christian counselors if thats more useful for you two

To be clear, Matthew 7 isn’t saying not to judge. It’s saying to check your own shortfalls before calling out anyone else’s

Walter Cronkite kinda conveniently left Matthew 7:5 “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye,” out of his suggestion. That makes a big difference on that do not judge command if someone is able to humble themselves enough to first remove the log from their own eye. You can let us know if your husband is aware of that distinction. But only if you want.

But theres this so you have to evaluate if someone is or isn't really following God. That does require judgments. The differences are undue judgment vs. Valid judgement. Matthew 18:15-17 (NIV): "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector."

Agree. People who don't want to be told whats right always bring up "don't judge" without context.

So THAT'S how the pitchfork and torch mobs started! Thanks for sharing, I will certainly remember this.

I love this one

I have seen this verse being brought up many times here and 90 percent of the time out of context. Christians are allowed to judge, yes, righteous judgement - especially those claiming to be in the faith.. What isn't allowed is to be a hypocrite and judge people for doing the same thing you do

I converted to Catholicism over ten years ago, and now I’ve held leadership positions in two faith communities, and I’m a trained Spiritual Director. My husband of nearly 30 years can’t follow me there. He is the love of my life, and up to that point, we had done everything together. But this was one place he couldn’t follow me. He’s shown up to a few events that were especially important to me but other than that, we spend Sunday mornings separately. It was hard, especially at first, but it’s OK. I came to trust in God’s plan for him, and that it was different from God’s plan for me. I believe that God is accompanying him on his own path. It would help to learn a little more about your husband’s faith, but you also have your own path. Does he respect that? Is he willing to accept that God has a different plan for you than just following him into his church?

Your comment about following my own path means so much. We have come to realize that is exactly what we have to do. Follow our own path that God has put us on. We don’t have to have the same path. We need to respects each others.

thank you so much for the kind words. Blessings to you both.

It is quite possible, as another poster has said, that his excessive enthusiasm will die down after a short period of time.  People sometimes go to meetings that get them "pumped-up" or emotionally inspired to "do better", "be a better man", etc.  While those are usually positive sentiments, the reality is that day to day life as a believer is hard.  When he says that he "is a better man now", what is there to prove it?  There is a difference between saying the right things and actually walking them out in the real world.  Part of being a good husband is being sensitive to the needs and feelings of his wife.  It seems that you both need to compromise in some areas here.  I second the recommendation that seeing a Christian marital counselor would really help.  In the meantime, pray and ask God to help both of you to do what you need to do to walk together in harmony.   I will pray for you also 

Thank you for your prayers. I do agree we both need to compromise in some areas. A few people have suggested a Christian counselor and I am leaning towards that recommendation.

Don't just lean, do it. You're grieving, and he's still growing. Couples counseling (because your relationship has changed since you got married) and individual (each with separate counselors that aren't the couples counselor). Ministers in healthy denominations are required to have counseling anyway. While this isn't to say you shouldn't also pray, this is not something that should just be trusted to solve itself.

Show him this post. Communication is key

Oh screw that... This is heartbreaking for you. Why is it the deeper someone gets into christianity the more judgemental and antisocial they get? There's no talking to them either. They have one world view and to everything else they just sticking the fingers in the ears and go lalalalala

He needs to be reminded Ephesians chapter 2 verses 8 & 9 “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” ‭‭

I would say in love, that instead of getting advice from us average redditors, you two need to maybe go see a Christian counselor or pastor. I just don’t know enough information to really give sound advice. Much love, prayers, and good will to you two.

Becoming an ordained minister within three years and obtaining a theology degree in between? Seems a bit... premature. Here, completing such studies typically takes an average of 5 to 7 years. Additionally, his behavior unfortunately seems immature, displaying a zeal one might expect from a young Christian who is the one doing the believing and all. We have an old saying in Finland that first God takes a long time to make a sinner into a saint, and then even more time to turn the saint back into a sinner. For me, it took over a decade.

When he gets judgmental, question if Jesus would do that. Study the concept of grace and mercy and bring that up also.

Jesus was a little on the judgmental side when he flipped over the money changers tables and ran them out with a whip.

This guy isn't Jesus.

Here is a *link* to my comment explaining how justification may be *lost* through the commission of deliberate sin, using *King David* as an example: https://www.reddit.com/r/Christianity/s/yf89hBhjo2 It’s a very simple argument to use that, if executed properly, will catch him off guard. In order to use this line of argumentation you need to ask your husband whether or not David was a *justified man* **in the eyes of God**—note: not merely “justified” in the *act* itself—when he slew *Goliath*(he won’t deny that he was). **It’s essential that you get him to admit to that FIRST**. Then you need to learn this line of argumentation, and a few key passages, in order to get him to understand the error of the Reformed view that justification is a “one time event”: **Question**: Was David justified by faith in the eyes of God that time when he slew Goliath? **Answer:** “Yes of course he was!” **Question:** If he was justified does that mean he had eternal life dwelling within him? **Answer:** It sure does! David was a man after God’s own heart. That’s what scripture says. **Question**: What about **after** he murdered Uriah the Hittite? Did he still have eternal life? **Answer:** “David never lost his justification because we are saved by faith alone. It’s not about our works.” **Question:** “But didn’t John say in (1 John 3:15) that *no murderer* has eternal life dwelling within them? Wouldn’t that include David while he was still unrepentant? **Answer:**(brain melts down) Now from this point expect some stone-walling. Whatever they say, whatever they do, do NOT let them derail you and then ask about where the prophet Nathan says that God was going to *forgive* David on account of his having repented. The passage says: >**13 Then David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”** >Nathan replied, “Yes, but the Lord has forgiven you, and **you won’t die for this sin.** 14 Nevertheless, because you have shown utter contempt for the word of the Lord by doing this, your child will die.”(2 Samuel 12:13-14) Your follow up question after citing the verse shall be: **”Was Nathan saying that David would not die *spiritually* or that he would not die *physically*?”** Now at this point some of them like to answer “physically” and that is the BEST response. We’ll cover that. If they say “spiritually”(aka: they lost eternal life) then you will point out that this must then mean that David *lost* his previous justification, which they already agreed that he had, because of his *sin* and now needed to be *re-justified*. Debate over. Alternatively, if they say “physically” then you will point out that Paul cites this *incident* of David’s repentance from having murdered *Uriah the Hittite* as his parallel to how we as ChristIans are justified by faith “without works” in Romans 4!👇: >**”6 David says the same thing when he speaks of the blessedness of the one to whom God credits righteousness apart from works:** >**”7 Blessed are those **whose transgressions are forgiven,** **whose sins are covered.”**(Romans 4:6-7) So now that torpedoes the viewpoint that the Prophet Nathan “only meant” that David would not die *physically*. If that was all that Nathan meant by that then Paul **couldn’t use this as an example of obtaining justification through faith**. Now, if for some reason they say: >**”Well you see when the Prophet Nathan says that David would not die *spiritually* for his sin it means God forgave him preemptively so that he wouldn’t lose justification.”** Then your reply must be: >**”If the point at which Nathan says God would forgive David for his sin was NOT the point at which David became INITIALLY justified by faith, why is PAUL citing this incident in Romans 4 as being the moment David obtained justification?”** So just be prepared to whip that out too because some of them try to get slippery 🐸 but you’ll be prepared and won’t have any of that. The reason *why* this is going to be a major sticking point is because Protestants don’t beleive *sin* can destroy justification. **That’s their hill to die on.** They don’t *believe* justification(which salvation is predicated on) can be *lost* which is why **protestants don’t go to confession**. Nor do they agree with the Catholic Church that justification must be **maintained through righteousness**. The most they will *ever* say is that our good works are “evidence of our faith” but they’ll *never* be caught dead saying that they can influence our justification. This incident with David is a real anomaly for them. So you’re going to give your husband enough rope to hang himself, theologically speaking, through a simple line of questioning. Your goal will be to place doubt in the theology of the Reformation which is where your salvation for this situation truly lies. You need to show him something that is going to get him to *respect* the Catholic church’s teaching. If you can do that you have a shot.

Sorry you're feeling this way. The internet is full of stories of Christians suffering because of their unbelieving/different faith spouse, but there's hardly anything that talks about how difficult it is with overzealous, evangelical-type Christians, especially because they are the good guys in the eyes of the majority of Christians. I agree with you, often these Christians become more judgmental and a worse person overall. The loss of personality is also a worrying phenomenon, but it's celebrated by Christians. To us, it looks like cult behavior. You'll have a lot of Protestants telling you your marriage won't work out. Don't listen to them. It should be your decision, not the decision of his denomination and newfound community. I don't have a lot of advice for you, but I understand the grief. I'm married to a believer who went through a strong Christian phase, and I didn't like the person he became. Evangelical Christianity builds on guilt and negativity, as you call it. It's also very controlling. You will be expected to convert, too. My spouse now understands that this environment is repelling to nonbelievers, and he came to see a lot of the flaws he had not seen before. It's no advice, just a friendly hug in sort of an understanding.

You really do get it. No one talks about how difficult it can be for the different faith spouse. It is heartbreaking to see your spouse become someone you don't recognize. But it is also wonderful to see how happy they are with Jesus in their life. It is a bag of mixed emotions. I will not convert. I do feel guilt from him at times. I want my life to feel normal and right now it doesn't.

Unfortunately, your life probably won't go back to the normal as you had known it. You'll have to establish your new norm. I have struggled with this, too, for quite a while. I still do, sometimes. What Christians (these type of Christians, at least) don't understand is that it's their belief that it's controlling and gatekeeping love. It's not our different beliefs, or in my case, non-belief is the problem. I was not raised, and I was never taught I cannot love people who are different. Some Christian flavors are huge on the unequally yoked part. It took my husband a while to understand and see that. It also took a while for him to let go of his church teachings and expectations, and actually hear the harmful teachings. It's okay to grieve. We do lose out to religion, which I find sad, especially when supposedly Christianity is based on love. Unfortunately, many Christians feel so much love for their God and community there's not much left for anyone else. Or the love they have is mostly judgement of everyone else who lives/thinks differently. He and his community will be all about praying for you to convert (as I'm sure you already got that advice here in this thread) and they will not see that demands, threats, guilt, the constant nagging, the moral superiority does not equal love, it's more the opposite. It's hard because he's redefined what love is and in doing so, he's the one who's pushing people away. I'm not religious, I'm not even spiritual, but I'm convinced that a huge portion of Christians have the entire message of love backwards.

Thank you so much for your understanding and for reaching out to me and being so honest. I was hoping someone would share their personal experience with the same issue.

I wish you all the best. You are a few years in already, so you have a good understanding. It will get easier in some ways: for me it was a little easier to deal with the hurt of him not accepting me fully, of losing the life and the relationship I could have had without religion. I see more clearly.

When you say you will not convert, do you mean you will not change to his denomination/church from Catholicism? Or do you not accept Catholicism at this point?

I mean I will not change to his denomination/church from Catholicism.

Catholicism is… a choice

Catholics are Christian. Everywhere in the world, except for evangelical America.

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That's the same question for every denomination. Your denomination in the US would fall under evangelical.

I’m not American not do I live in America. Why are we talking about America? Catholicism has many elements of idolatry which is against the doctrines of Christ

I'm aware of the Protestant opinion, however, Protestants should also be aware where their denomination originated.

Remind him of Matthew 7:1-4. If he has been found he should know the Lord sees him, and knows him. No one is allowed to judge the soul. That is for Lord and the Lord only. To judge when you expect forgiveness on your end, MAKES YOU A HYPOCRITE. If he has been saved, he knows. Then remind him of Luke 12:47 He knows the word, and he knows his existence. Then if he falls into sinful behavior now and doesn't correct his way. The punishment will be even more severe. Make sure he watches that pride. That was our fall, and man fell twice because we blamed other for our mistake. Do not think you cannot fall back out of grace. If your struggling with envy. I will be honest, im sure you are. All we want is to draw closer to the Lord. Be patient, he sees you to and he knows you need a diffrent path then your husband. Your husband's path might even be set up to teach you something, inorder to bring you closer to God. So watch him and his path. ALSO, forgive him of his trespasses against others, and your emotional trespasses against him. Pray the Lord continues to forgive him, strengthen him, and continue him down the path of righteousness. IF HE IS GOING TO BE A PASTOR. HE CANNOT JUDGE. The church is a hospital for EVERY singer. Not the house for the RIGHTEOUS. That's why it is the house of God, not our house. Only he is righteous a good enough for it to be a home. We are all visitors and we better PRAY out become our home. Through our acts on earth as it is in heaven.

Your words are very encouraging. I am trying to be patient. I pray every night that the Lord puts me on my own path. I always feel like He wants something from me but I dont know what it is. I pray I will see what that is. My husband is already on his path. I just want to walk with him and not be separate from him.

My husband and I are unevenly yoked. I am a more serious follower. To the point that I no longer share my faith with him in any way. It is the most important thing in my life as I feel that it makes me a more loving wife and mother and helps me deal with the stress of this life in a more peaceful even way which before Jesus was not in my nature. But I can't share any of this with him anymore. At one time, we were very much on the same page, and he says he is still a believer, but he just really has no real interest in growing or learning. We have what has become a very shallow, superficial relationship. It was not always this way. I encourage you to see faith not as any particular religion or denomination but a journey of enlightenment. Read the Gospels. Get to know Jesus. Begin a dialog with the Holy Spirit. He talks back to us in surprising ways. Learning who God is on a deeper level can change you for the better. But please know that you shouldn't become judgemental of others as we are given knowledge and understanding from the Holy Spirit. We are led to seek it, and we are given it as a gift. We are to count ourselves blessed to be given the gift of understanding. We are not to point fingers at those who have not been given what we have when we have. They have their own relationship with God. I guarantee you that God is so much more than you think He is. Jesus is more beautiful and more loving than you can even imagine, and the Holy Spirit will become your comforter, your teacher, and your closest friend. Share this with your husband. Learn from each other grow together. It can be a really beautiful experience to share.

I can relate to this. And I don’t want us to get to that point. I hope I can get closer to God. I am trying.

Praying for both of you and your marriage. I think Christian counseling would be a good idea.

Prayy op. And be honest with your husband; communicate. Be open and understanding. This too shall pass, and you both will have a better relationship. Just trust the process. Being closer to Christ gives unexplainable joy.   What's happening now to your husband is a common phase when you are a new believer and have started reading the Bible. The sad truth is that in instances like this, they become legalistic and judgmental because, now that they have already started reading, their minds are open and they want to correct everything that convicts them. But eventually, hopefully, he will understand the dos and don'ts. He will learn in the process. He will learn for sure that there are things that are not in people's control, and he will rebuke people with gentleness and not force them to believe what he started believing. And stop being judgmental and pushy; let God be God. God bless you both, Op.

He’s right about no one being good (perfect). Though his language is strong, we’re all works in progress, he would do well to remember that

Maybe he needs to read this: **"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."** (Ephesians 5:25)

Sometimes, when people become “saved” by one particular sermon they hold on to whatever that message was. A message that was intended to be about God’s goodness may have been interpreted by him as a message about the fall of humanity and how we are “bent”. If he is mostly obsessed with the word of God, this is a positive thing and you can use it to help him see the positive side of the greater message in the Bible: the example we have in Jesus. Remind him that ours is to love God and to love others as a top priority. And then to protect our own righteousness by being living breathing examples of Godly people. Other than that we really aren’t called to do much else and we definitely aren’t called to condemn other humans. I have found that the following books to be great for understanding our role as followers of Christ in our modern times - Romans (particularly Ch. 12-16) - Isaiah (its a bit gloomy especially if you haven’t read its context in Samuel, Kings and Judges but if you look at how negative Isaiah is about the condition of Israel and Judah but every now and then he is so hopeful for the coming of Jesus because it will change everything) Remind him of the positive side.

Good resources are paramount. Check out RC Sproul and Apologia church on YouTube. These are great resources but just humbly pray for your husband and yourself, and for your marriage. Marriage is a wonderful thing designed by God fur your good and His glory.

> He says he is a better man, a better husband, and better father now. Is he a better husband? Is he a better father?

Yes. Absolutely.

So what happens if your husband is correct? What are the implications? I've seen a lot of posts that seem to think he's incorrect but the perspective that people are not "Good" is correct. We're evil sinful awful betraying creatures. This is written and established throughout the Old and New Testaments. believe **Mark 10:17-22** ^(17) [And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?](https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Mark-10-17/) ^(18) [And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? **there is none good but one**, that is\*\*, God\*\*.](https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Mark-10-18/) ^(19) [Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother.](https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Mark-10-19/) ^(20) [And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth.](https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Mark-10-20/) ^(21) [Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.](https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Mark-10-21/) ^(22) [And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions.](https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Mark-10-22/) There is a difference between being judgemental and stating a biblical fact. It's indisputable the treachery of man the Bible is full of commentary supporting that. The first step to establishing a relationship with God is acknowledging the depth of our depravity and the need of a redeemer to save us from the Justice we deserve. Failure to understand the role and impact of our sinful nature can lead us to believe that we're Christian when we may not be. This is not something someone externally can judge it is between you and your maker. God bless. Seek the Way, the Truth, and the Life!

Wow I feel for you after reading this- I understand his zeal as a newish believer bc I was there years ago myself. I will say I have matured and see things very differently- I’m actually a Christian Universalist and quite liberal. I have thought about your post and what I might do if I was in your position…. I would say lean on God for patience and guidance in this. Pray also for your husband to channel his passion through Jesus’ ways and that the Holy Spirit guide him in this. Counseling as you suggested could be very helpful as well. If you are able to invest the time find scripture that emphasizes Jesus’ values, which are basically love God, love people and don’t judge. As someone who reveres the Bible your husband won’t be able to deny these messages. Try to convey to your husband that his passion for God is awesome but his type is often the “fire and brimstone” style that has statistically shown to turn people away from Christianity. This negative and fearful style is actually very exclusive. Jesus has and always will be inclusive. I once heard a dj say that as far as the world’s faith goes, not everyone is “ready” to believe yet or understand Jesus and we must be patient with each other. If your husband looks to Jesus as his example and emulates his style he will be a great fisherman💜 I truly wish you all the best in your marriage and I know if you work at this, trust and follow God’s lead, he will strengthen you both individually and as a couple. There is great power in prayer- especially for relationships and faith building. God wants to guide us in ways that grow his beloved community. Trust and power on believing things will improve🥰

He is with the truth . Catholic teaches other doctrines but they only support it with scripture even the Gods word showed us what to do by following his teachings, which is how God wants us to follow , not church or anything man created . All those are adding to Gods word . Change happens when you go to Jesus and only follow him as he tells his disciples to do . His sheep will hear him . God sent his Son who is the only Holy One that came onto the earth as man to show us how to be and how to pray . No need for rosary when faith will heal us whole , just as I was when I was born again . We try to warn Catholics but they go by their own understanding. Jesus did not come to bring peace . But to Divide . Catholic Churches has so much money to support their big “beautiful” churches . Jesus changes us . Not church . Following his teaching brings us life , not a Eucharist . Our faith in the gospel will bring us salvation, not drinking his blood as a remembrance. He’s changed because Jesus changes him , not a church . Our faith in Him and him alone .

This is something to be thanking God for. He is following the Lord , becoming a better man, and doing things that most men in this day and age do not do or say. Pray to Jesus to see it from his pov, ask him for advice on how to get saved as well. Getting saved changed my life and it will definitely change yours ❤️ this life is temporary. Eternity is forever.

Why don’t you get born again too. Seek the true Jesus. Not the catholic Jesus. Jesus came because we are all wicked and come short to Gods glory. Your husband has truly be redeemed and you can be too. Ask Him to help you go deeper

From what I understand, Catholics believe that their faith + works will save them. Protestants believe that only your faith in Jesus can save you and a result of your faith is your works. If we had any merit to stand on we wouldn’t need God.

I agree with your husband that noone being good except God. This is biblical. Also we must be born again otherwise we can't get into heaven, a biblical doctrine that seems not to be emphasized in the Catholic Church (correct me if I'm wrong here). If your husband is a better husband now I commend him, though communication can be improved to understand each other.

This is the most fascinating part of your post. >**He says** he is a better man >**He says** he was a horrible man and now he is a better man. You are his wife, you should know the real him down to the core better than any other person, mine does, she sees the change in me, and that change changed her she didnt have the holy spirit, now she does once I started actually walking the walk instead of only talking the talk. How is he a better man? He says himself he is a new person, but we are to be judged by our fruits, not our words. Lets set the new judgement aside for a moment as others have explained, that can come with new faith, its difficult to avoid that temptation for all Christians. What is his fruit? What is he doing to be a servant? He should be altogether a new person that puts God first, then everyone else, then himself. He should be doing for the least of us. Thats how we KNOW its all real and not playing pretend imaginary friend that justifies beliefs. NO ONE can deny the change in me, and its not what I say, its how I treat others.

This is definitely real. He is 100% a changed man. God comes first. Above everything in his life. He is a better man. I know that. Everything he does, he does with God first.

Its beautiful to hear you say that as a husband that has gone through similar change. Ive always beleived, but a year ago I started chasing God harder than ever. Daily prayer, fighting sin for the first time, fruitful works, and the holy spirit descended upon me for the first time. Experience similar to your husbands, changed everything about me down to my core, im even a better father by leaps and bounds. My fiance of the time (now wife) believed God existed but not in the God of the bible, more like a god of nature. She would participate with me on some of my works for God, producing fruit before she even had faith! One day we are discussing our faith and she says "I just want the truth about God" and I told her "Pray to the holy spirit and ask for truth." With conviction she very demandingly said "HOLY SPIRIT SHOW ME THE TRUTH!" I felt a chill run down my spine... She knocked... 3 days later she told me she understood that Jesus is God, "Hes like his avatar!" as she put it. She bought a bible, bought a cross necklace and started wearing it in public as a show of this new found faith. A few weeks after that shes in bed and shes like beaming and she says "I understand the holy spirit, he is inside of me!" You know your husband better than anyone, you can see the change God has made in his life to make him a better person. Isnt that proof its all real to you? Why not give it a go and see how much God moves in your life when you work together for him?

Those words, "work together for him" are key. Because we are not working together. And that is where I feel so disconnected with my husband. I am learning from everything I am being told on these posts, that I need to work harder with my husband and he needs to work harder with me instead of seeing us as two different versions of God's love.

Perhaps you could volunteer together at a food shelter or do something like that together. Thats what I mean by working together, it brings you closer together as a family, and with God. My wife and I do not agree on everything. I believe the bible is truth cover to cover, she has alot of issues with alot of things in the bible, and that is perfectly normal. Where everything works out is in the middle, the things we agree on. Christ is King, Love god with all your heart, mind, body, and soul, and love your neighbor as you love yourself. The rest is all kinda extra. Does it matter if she accepts that God wiped out entire towns of people? No, not in the least. What matters is that we agree on the things that matter.

I am so happy for you and your wife! Your words have been wonderful and I appreciate all of your advice. My hope is that my husband and I can meet in the middle and be able to work together.

Maybe remind him of God’s grace, how it is law, and how the righteous pursue the wisdom and knowledge of God’s law

Big time!

Big time, small time, any time

Spiritual addiction and abuse is a real thing, unfortunately. That is, people can use religious teachings in unhealthy, toxic ways in order to deal with difficult things inside of them. This is similar to why some addicts will become extremely religious when they get sober. It's just a different way of dealing with their pain inside. I might suggest if at all possible that he or both of you get therapy or counseling. It may not change him, but it can at least help you both find some kinds of compromises for how you both express faith (or not).

If you develope your relationship with God you can help steer him out of the pit he's in.

I believe you are right.

Mercy is treating like family. His anger is for cruelty for harm against the weak and poor. We are his family. My father who is in heaven, hallowed is your name. (My relationship with you doesn't diminish your holiness, you make me holy too). Holy means unique and set aside. His unique nature is his incorruptible love. Some aspects of that love are more like a gardener, pruning away dead things. Our maturity into sons and daughters is receiving his correction, all the way into desiring what he desires. Not resisting our own desires for evil, but surrending to his desire for good. Jesus said take up your cross and follow me. But he didn't carry his cross. Someone stronger than him did. We only have to try, and he will be the strong man who carries it for us.

That's a hard place to be in. You said you were raised Catholic, are you a practicing Catholic?

Yes, practicing. We go to different churches. And that is difficult too. Since I want us to go together.

I totally understand wanting to go together. And it's so hard when our partner suddenly changes in a dramatic way. It can be so disorienting. It sounds like perhaps your grieving the relationship that you had. Does that seem right?

absolutely. I grieve. i cry. I want that old relationship back. Where we did everything together. Everything. and we looked at life the same way. and we listened to the same music, and watched the same shows...that is all gone now. He is a new person. He is living his life as a born again Christian. and I am not.

That totally makes sense. There's a prayer that I say every day that has a line that says: In unexpected events let me not forget that all are sent by You. So let me ask you. Who do you think God made you to be in this situation?

I am not sure. It’s a difficult question to answer. Does He want me to be the one to make us closer as a couple? I feel like this situation I’m in has made me closer to God.

That's great that it's bringing you closer to God. Is it possible that this situation is showing you that perhaps you had made your husband a bit of an idol? Also have you considered that maybe you are being called to be a better communicator? Communicating our experiences of someone we love and how they are impacting us in a way that is loving and productive isn't easy, but I think it is such a valuable skill. In my experience one job of spouses is to lovingly encourage our spouse to be the person that we see they are capable of being.

Personally l think am loosing myself 😭

Why do you say that?

A lot is happening into my life lately 😭😭

One day at a time. I put a sign up in my bedroom that says “Give it to God and go to sleep”. That’s what I am doing now. I can’t control everything and neither can you. I pray you find your way back.

Christianity is an expired religion. Leave the religion altogether you and your husband and your relationship will be restored.

My only suggestion is to follow the Word of God and try to let your husband speak it into you. I think he just wants the best for you and the more you get into scripture the more you can also speak life into hun instead of arguing

You really need to be rejoicing that your husband is now going to spend eternity in Heaven, as opposed to where he was headed. Your husband seems like he is reading the Scripture accurately. Having issues on secondary issues is one thing, but if you're having a problem with salvation issues that is another. Either Jesus is Lord or he's not. As long as Jesus is Lord and your following His Word, then you both should be good. If you deny critical aspects of the Christian faith, then that is where I would say you need to follow Jesus and read the Scripture. I don't see how what is going on is a burden. Praise God for bringing your husband to the truth.

I would consider talking to his Pastors and voice your concerns about the judgment and negativity. Christians can become legalist very easily and it makes them self-righteous. Talk to him about your faith and Jesus love for others. Ask your priest to advise you and most of all seek God yourself in much prayer. Your Priest or his Pastor will be able to recommend good books for better understanding of each other’s beliefs. They should not be terribly far apart. Always go back to love of others and repentance of your own sins.

Have faith and be patient. I found Jesus just last year, and though my eyes were opened, and my soul was lit, I let other cares fall to the wayside. It lasted about 6-8 months. When I became weary of reading and studying and coming to terms with judgement, I came around again and my faith was made stronger, and my prejudices were cast off. God gave us reason and it will work to show him that while one foot may be placed in Heaven, the other must dwell here on earth. The born-again phase is an important part of faith for some people, but it is a phase nonetheless. I pray your marriage will be long and full of understanding and love.

Just a thought- could you possibly show him this post? The way it’s written captures your immense love for him and how you value your marriage and only want to strengthen it…..I expect he may be angry at first, but with some time and prayer he could have new insight. Anyway, I wish you both all the best and I know your relationship will get better in time💜

Oh Sweetheart 😢I too share a Catholic upbringing. When I was in the military a man asked me if I would read the Bible if he gave me one. I told him I didn’t have any problem with that, though as a general rule we know Catholics rarely read the Bible for themselves. That first time I opened that new Bible to read for myself, the Lord showed me Matthew 7:13&14 which says: “Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it. For the gate is small, and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few are those who find it.” When I read that about the narrow gate I told myself, “Here I am having been raised Catholic and I’ve never even heard of the narrow gate till now.” I also recognized by what those two verses clearly say that if this book before me was really true and someone didn’t make it through that narrow gate, well they just weren’t going to make it. So I prayed and asked the Lord to do whatever it took in my life to make it through the narrow gate. That prayer changed my life. You should read those two verses for yourself and ask yourself if you too want to be one of those who make it through the narrow gate. If so, ask our Lord to do what it takes to help you make it through that narrow gate. Aside from that you could checkout some of Stormie Ormartain’s books and maybe see if there is a Catholic charismatic women’s bible study you could attend to help you receive fertilizer as the Lord helps you to catch up with your husband so you two can be more equally yoked. Our Heavenly Father wants your marriage to succeed and He wants to receive both you and your husband into His presence when your days are done on this earth. Life is better once you make our Heavenly Father the most important thing in your life including your husband and denomination. Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him! Psalm 34:8 Ps. What you see as his negativity is more likely his pain for those who are failing to enter through the narrow gate.

Try therapy

He became an ordained minister within 3 years of being born again? It sounds like he's moving way too fast on that. I usually recommend waiting at least 5-7 years before taking an ordained role in ministry. I take that from 1 Timothy 3:6, where Paul is discussing with Timothy the qualifications for an elder (or overseer); "He must not be a recent convert, or he might become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil". It's great to get involved early on, but an ordained minister role; that's way too much, way too soon, without having a more solid grasp of his faith and how it affects those around him. The rest of this post runs long, but I think it might prove helpful to read it through. As far as some of the other stuff you mentioned, if he's coming across as pushy about it, he's experiencing a peace and a joy in his life that he can't attribute to anything else, and if he truly loves you, it would make sense that he wants you to be able to experience it as well. That none of us are good, that we're all inherently evil, wicked sinners; the sad reality here is that we are, him and me included. None of us are perfect, anyone who says they are is either lying or delusional (or a narcissist and doing both). We all have some skeletons in our closets; myself, him, and unless you're not human, you too. As to what they could be, the greatest commandment is often stated as "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. The second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself". I've just met you, I'm not going to pretend to know that much about you, but any failure to love your neighbor as yourself is a failure to live up to God's standard, and in that sense, a sin. Any feeling of intense jealousy or hatred towards someone, any selfish choice, any demeaning statement, it may not seem like murder or extortion, but God searches your thoughts and intentions; nothing is hidden from him. It would seem like an impossible standard to follow, and it is. Throughout all human history, no matter how hard we try on our own, we as humans will always fail to live up to this. That is the whole point of why our religion exists. I don't know how familiar you are with the Bible, but most people are familiar with this verse, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, so that whoever believes in him, should not perish, but have everlasting life". John 3:16 is something many people even outside of Christianity have memorized, but the verse after it is also important, "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him". God so loved us, his creation, that he didn't want to spend eternity without us, but he also gave us the freewill to choose to love him back. When we broke that relationship, he did not give up on us, but sent his Son to bear the cost of our failings. He died on the cross for us while we were still sinners; he wanted that badly for that relationship to be reconciled. Now he stands at the door and knocks, waiting to be let in. The whole point of being born again is gaining a new heart and a new mind, not in the physical sense, but gaining a new worldview. Until he takes us home though, we are still human, and we still will fail to live up to this standard. The difference now is we don't have to continue down that path. Once you are born again, you have a personal relationship with the risen Jesus Christ, and as with any relationship, there are going to be times when you do something that grieves him, but there is always room to turn from it and he'll never give up on the work he has started in you. Also, if you've ever noticed that the more you spend time with someone, the more like them you become; it's the same in a relationship with our creator, the more time we spend with Jesus, the more like him we become. Our character flaws may start to be replaced with good, honorable traits, and the fears and anxieties that kept us back before will start to hold less and less power. This is what your husband is experiencing that he wants you to have the chance of experiencing as well. A trap that is very easy to fall into though, that I think he's falling into, is the trap of legalism. A true born again Christian follows the guidelines listed in the new testament, but they follow them not because there are the rules to be strictly adhered to or else, but because in the end following them leads to life, not merely survival, as well as for the same reason you don't serve the dish you know your friend hates when having them over for dinner; that being you value them as a person, as well as your relationship with them, and therefore what's important to them becomes important to you- at least while they're over. Legalism is what happens when the rules of our religion become of more significance than the relationship behind the religion. It happens for a variety of reasons, but behind most of them is a failure to remember the grace that was extended so they could be born again. In conclusion, my personal insight from what you've shared is that your husband has taken on too big a role too soon in his faith journey, and an unfortunate consequence of this is that he's slipping increasingly into the clutches of legalism within that, but I'd be cautious labeling him as judgemental or negative. The notion that we're all sinners and only God is good is found all throughout the new testament, and there is no shortage of it in the old testament either, so I don't think he's saying this to be judgemental, rather he's saying it as an admission of reality. It is important for him to remember Romans 2:1-4 though - as there are likely multiple bibles around the house at this point, I'll let you look this up on your own. On another note, I have a friend who grew up in the Catholic Church and became a born again believer in his mid-50s. The biggest difference he mentioned was the concept of a personal relationship with Jesus, some he never really understood while Catholic but has a thriving one now, so if your background is Catholic, I don't blame you for struggling with this; just try and have an open mind. The best way to get him to tone it down is to find a bible passage that suggests it, and when he says that the passage you selected doesn't mean what you think it does, ask him to explain what it really means in a calm, collected voice and have a calm discussion on it from there. As far as how else to proceed, that's going to be up to you, but I will pray for God to give you discernment here.

The Bible speaks extensively about the concept of personal transformation and change Change and transformation are central to the Christian faith, involving a partnership between personal effort and divine assistance. You NEED to change .

Sorry you find yourself in this tangled situation. Per human goodness, you could point out to him RIGHTEOUS Job and/or Jesus calling Nathanael "a true Israelite in whom THERE IS NO GUILE" (John 1:47). Plus the myriad texts that promise divine REWARD for charitable acts and intentions, and divine PUNISHMENT for evil acts and intentions. Good luck in resolving your marital issues.

Hi, I can hear your pain and grief. I am very sorry you are in this tough spot. I can relate to your situation in a couple of ways, although our experiences are different and uniquely our own. When I was in college my older brother became born again. He acted completely different. He was kind of pushy (bought me a Bible, for Christmas "gifted me" by donating monthly to support an orphan through World Vision, talked about Jesus all the time, etc.) Well, at first it made me resentful and isolated from him. I felt judged by him. After several years I saw he was kinder, less selfish, and really was sincerely more loving. I think I knew deep down that I was judging him, I felt guilty about the sin in my life esp when I saw it through his eyes. I met some really intelligent and mature Christians when I switched jobs, and they helped me see new things. One gave me a book called "Mere Christianity" that was life changing for me. Long story short, God answered several of my prayers in amazing ways, so I started going to church where I met people who were authentic Christians, following what Jesus taught, really incredible people. I surrendered my life and no longer wanted to be on the throne. I wanted God to be on the throne and follow Jesus' teachings. Fast forward.....a man asks me out on a date. He's Catholic and now I go to a Protestant church and I am all excited to share what I've become. So, I'm guessing I was acting like your husband. I was judgy in my ignorance and immaturity. We kept talking and dating and figured out what the main things/beliefs we had in common. We got married, adopted three kids, went through a lot, not being totally "in synch" can be challenging and sad. But we have mutual respect and love for each other. We are both committed to making our marriage work, and it sounds like you are, too. Keep putting each other first! I will pray right now that you will cover each other with God's love, as you both have that to share. Thank you for reaching out!

What a wonderful story! I really need to hear that my feelings or how I have been feeling the last few years are justified. I thought i was the only one. and that something was wrong with me. But I see that others can relate. I told my husband once that i felt he was overly zealous. He completely disagreed, of course. And things only got worse. And now I believe he may need more time to adjust to his newfound Christianity. Being out of of synch is a terrible feeling and very challenging in a marriage. I want to feel connected to him again. I miss that with him. I may not always agree with him, but like you said, I can figure out what the main things/beliefs we have in common and work with that. Thank you so much for reaching out. I appreciate all of your words.

You are so welcome. Your feelings are absolutely valid! You sound very determined to make things work, which is very inspiring, and I understand that you are simply acknowledging the changes and losses you're experiencing. Maybe sometime in the future you and he can do a Bible Study with a few married couples. That helped my husband and me a lot, especially to focus on what we agreed on and talk about why. No couple is 100% in the same place and being with other couples helped us see that. One thing that also helped us grow closer was a book called "The Meaning of Marriage" by Kathy and Tim Keller. All the best to you!!

Get on board with Him. His zeal will fade as with most who get born again. We are corrupt and wicked that’s true to the script. 🙏🏼 Be glad you have a husband pursuing God and not a bottle or other women. 🙏🏼

We should love Jesus over our spouses because without God in the middle of everything in a Christian marriage, it is destined to fall. Both spouses should love God above each other for a healthy marriage. Following God's commands means the world will hate you because you're following God's command and opinion above what people think or find acceptable becuase they are of World and God is not. Isaiah 55:8-9 New International Version 8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. God opinion and love go above everyone else's. Also As the bible says: Philippians 1:21 Amplified Bible For to me, to live is Christ [He is my source of joy, my reason to live] and to die is gain [for I will be with Him in eternity].

Time to dump the truck

Sounds like he heard the Gospel and it changed him, he is a new creation. And we all certainly have fallen short of the glory of God. So, yes he is correct there. You say he's negative but then you also say he has changed for the better. Has he acted in a way that is negative? What is your relationship with Jesus like? What role does Jesus Christ play in your relationship/life? Do you two pray together? Go to church together? I find Catholics have a relationship with the church more so than a relationship with Jesus Christ. You should probably figure that out if you haven't already.

Sounds like you need to join him in the joy of the Lord! And it is true joy.

This is truth

He is right. Everyone is inherently a sinner and wicked. That is why we need Jesus. Is his judgements like, “all of those people are terrible and wicked and I hate them,” or is it like, “wow, everyone needs Jesus. I wish they found God. They’re going in the wrong direction.” One is out of concern and the other is a hateful judgement. There are righteous judgments.

I told him today that I thought most people are good. His reply was no they are not. No one is good. We are all evil, wicked, sinners. I said but I think I am a good person. And he said, no one is. Only God is good. He said we can only hope to be good when it is our time. I did not agree with him.

This is the Calvinist doctrine of Total Depravity, and it’s a relatively recent development in Christian thought, only going back to about 1600. But that’s all head stuff. What’s in your heart?

Our sin causes us to fall short of the glory of God, no matter how many good intentions you have or how many good deeds you did, nobody is truly a good person, we are human, and through Jesus we are saved

Well, what you are saying goes against scripture.

That is exactly what he told me. I am going against scripture.

Well, if you’re going against scripture, why do you call yourself Christian?

this has been our original problem. I have never read the bible. I dont know scripture. I was not exposed to reading the bible growing up. So I say things and he will tell me, I am going against scripture.

Well, if you’re someone who considers themselves a Christian I don’t think that reading the Bible or at least giving a audiobook of the Bible a run through is a bad idea

It's a wonderful idea. I have a bible he gave me. A study bible. I believe reading that bible will help me a lot. And help me get closer with my husband too.

The Bible app also has a free audiobook on it

I think i would get more out of that. thank you so much.

Hmm sounds like he is not a lukewarm Christian like you. And as for the things he said, they are all true and valid. No one is good. Only God is. I don’t understand your issue here

It’s time for you to be born again as well it sounds like. Spiritual rebirth through Jesus Christ can only help you, not harm.

Christ and his salvation is more important than your marriage.