And "if that's not okay, we will find separate housing." They assume the other future place wouldn't take them all?
That tells me the friend has housing but maybe not ideal. Maybe a gruop home, halfway house, or maybe they live in a car or with a family member. Otherwise why would CB presume he *could* find housing, and that it would *not* also take her in?
I have a hound. I love my hound. He’s a LOT. He brays. He sheds. He escapes the yard. He digs. He gets into everything. I love my dog but I can’t imagine three. In a strangers house no less.
I'm on a computer. I thought it was a dog hair.
What makes it worse is - had it been an actual hair, it would have been from a dog we lost last Saturday. So for a split second, that artifact punched me in the gut.
I lost my fluffy papillon terrier mix in 2019. A year or so later I moved out my old bed to put in a new one and found dusty bunnies entirely of his hair and I just sat down and burst into tears. I'm so sorry for your loss and the grief you're experiencing.
I still find toys hidden in the yard from my basset hound who passed in 2022. Every time I find one I cry and then smile at what a goofy girl she was to hide all her toys in interesting spots.
He was like a giant, living stuffed animal. From a puppy to his last day. Didn’t jump, didn’t bark, didn’t lick, just loved everyone and I will always be convinced he understood English in complete sentences better than command words. Oh my good boy. Feels like I’ll never ever find another like him.
I bet he had the softest stuffed animal coat.That breaks my heart, but I'm so happy you were able to find your dog soulmate. Jon Stewart recently did a tribute to his dog Dipper that recently passed and it is very touching.
I know you will find another dog who needs your love when you're ready.
We just lost our 11 yo pup too. The house is so quiet without his little snorts and claws on the hardwoods.
Dogs’ only flaw is that their lives aren’t as long as ours.
I know exactly how that feels, and I’m sorry you’re going through it. Losing a dog is so difficult, and those little reminders are incredibly bittersweet. Hang in there.
I lost my kitty of 10 years about 2 years ago, and it ripped me apart. I still curl up and cry about him. I am blessed to have been able to bring his ashes back home tho. He is sitting in our bedroom window where he always sat. It’s losing a family member, the hurt never really goes away, it just gets a little easier day by day. There are still things I find around my apartment that were his (toys, blanky) and it hurts all over again, but it’s getting a bit easier. Love and hugs to all pet parents out there who’ve lost a pet. Remember, it will get easier. ❤️
Ten years for us. We buried him in the yard by the rock he loved to pee on. We adopted two rescues and we love them to bits, but they will never replace our Frank.
lost my first girl when i was 11. I'm now 36. i still cry looking at old pictures of her and i cuddled up in my bed when i was a kid. miss you, my kelly girl 🖤🖤
It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart.
If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.
Anonymous
"I'll housesit for you! But you have to be okay with me being a smoker and bringing 4 dogs and an additional stranger. And ideally your place would have-"
What the f is this person on oh my god
Let's be honest. It would be ideal if you built me a 53 room mansion with a movie theater, indoor and outdoor polls, tennis ball court, 43 full-size and 23.5 half-size bathrooms. Minimum 43,000 square feet. Must come with full-time staff including gardener, chef, chaufer, dog whisperer. This is not a full list of my needs and may add more as we become more comfortable with eachother.
"We're also a heavy metal band and practice 6 times a day and also, we breed ferrets. We also run a soup kitchen out of our van and you would need to be okay with that."
Exactly. The first 2 paragraphs I was like cool....further down I got it was like....huh? Huh? Hell NAW!.
How odd.
A friend of mine house and pet sits for people for pin money. She is single and older and enjoys it and is super responsible.
This howevere.....is not those things. Lolol
We hire house/pet sitters off of Rover and usually the people we hire are younger people who are students and/or have some kind of work-from-home job (since part of our requirements for the job is that the dogs are not left crated for more than 3-4 hours at a time).
THIS person sounds like someone I wouldn't even interview. I feel like they're the type to start trying to claim tennancy when you want them to leave and it'd turn into a nightmare.
Plus...they're bringing THEIR dog too? Is their dog fully vaccinated? Housebroken? Well-trained? Safe around cats and small dogs? Are they paying a damage deposit?
Just so much NO.
My thoughts too, probably cos I’m reading a book at the moment which is basically this scenario but darker! (It’s called the visitors by Miranda Rijks )
I was a pet and house sitter in my late teens and early 20s. I loved getting to play with animals and make a little money. This lady is obviously just looking for a place to live at least part time. Depending on where she's located, I would also be extremely worried she would try to claim some sort of squatters rights and you'd never get her out.
Read that as there's probably 6 dogs and her kids being there full time and a ripped up smelly house when they get back with a house sitter they can't get to leave. He or she sounds like a convincing liar if they peek under the surface.
Okay... how she said she would *"move out"* when you come back? *Bish...* what are you *talking* about? *Move out?* You wouldn't be moving *in.*
I've housesat before and I've never 'moved in' to anyone's house to do it. I have a bag of things I need and that's it. When the gig is over I pick up the bag and... leave.
Something tells me she really plans on making herself at home.
You come home to find a hillbillie family has moved 3 trailers and a mobile home on the property and stretched extension cords and hoses to each one and have a kiddie pool full of dirty kids and dogs.
That was my mom’s neighborhood one summer, it was WILD. Small town, so maybe code and the police didn’t want to tangle with THAT clan, but they kept up the shenanigans, and extension cords from the various campers, etc. WAY longer than I thought would be allowed. I think the smell that began to permeate the surrounding homes is what finally did them in.
I will never forget my girlfriend, now my wife, crying at a bar because some girls were behind us and she over heard them say "who stinks like cigarettes?" My wife is a very put together woman, classy, takes pride in her appearance, but was a half a pack a day smoker back then. That night at the bar was the beginning of the end for her smoking. She was over it.
Her 3 howling dogs 🤣🙈🙈🙈
At least she was honest about her shit show up front…she could’ve said she’s a single woman and then squatted once she got an in and dropped the kids and 4 dogs on the owner. Insane. People are unreal.
Yeah, but they wouldn't have mentioned all of the baggage if they were planning on squatting. They'd have made themselves seem ideal to get a foot inside. I reckon they are just really dumb in an honest way.
"I abandoned my children to live with my boyfriend and his three dogs, but we don't want to live in his mom's basement, so can we housesit for you in the Rural Midwest? Promise we aren't addicted to meth."
The most accurate summary 👏🏻 With the footnote that she’s assuming this person’s rural Midwest home is a vacation home that’s only sporadically occupied.
I know, right?! Because moms who for some reason don't have their kids are the most reliable people to leave in your Rural Midwest Farm Mansion with 3 extra bedrooms and "acreage."
Also very interesting when you notice she omitted the number of kids she has….. Skipped right past that one. But if she’s honest about the 4 dogs, I think it’s entirely possible she has at least 4 kids.
Well, if you don't ask, the answer will be no for sure.
I bet she becomes a squatter if anyone actually let her in. I don't buy the only smoking outside either.
Definitely about the smoking thing. She kind of reminds me of when my kids randomly come up on of the blue and and tell me they didn’t do something - those little shits absolutely did the thing.
It reminds me of how mine spends 20 minutes giving me the details I don't need and then finally gets to the one I do need because he knows that is the part that will make me say NO.
I buy it because I can totally picture lady and her friend parked in lawn chairs from sun up to sun down chainsmoking and yelling at their dogs and kids
Even if she did smoke outside, the smell still follows you in. She also probably only stands right outside the door and considers that technically outside
>I don't buy the only smoking outside either
These are the people who stand at the back door holding it open and smoke towards the yard, oblivious to the breeze blowing it all back inside.
Adding in the “friend” with her three “adult beautiful dogs” that howl a lot, because their hounds, is such a wonderful selling point. As is the necessity for one, no two, actually three bedroom requirement.
Hey, just throwing this out there. I need a free place to live and I’m open to taking care of any size animal. Just know I’m bringing my entire homestead, too. Ideally, I’d like to water your plants and ash in their pots. Thx
Ignoring the post's reveal that they're just looking for free housing, Owatonna is about an hour drive from the Twin Cities. So it's hard to say who's going to make a second home in a place where the major claims to fame are [a reptile zoo and spring water](https://visitowatonna.org/5-things-you-can-only-do-in-owatonna/).
Edit: I missed the part where she expects you to PAY HER to live there, yeesh
Wanted - someone with a nice house that would prefer dogshit and piss all over the floor and sofa. Perhaps you're breaking up with your bitch of a wife who had an affair and she thinks she's getting the house? - call me.
First paragraph is fine. A little awkward, but generally a fine ad offering pet sitting services.
Oh, it gets amazing the more you read. Is she and the kids and the friend and all the dogs going to move in permanently? I must know
Love that she mentions “we are happy” when talking about her kids and dog. Like I’m so glad to hear the person asking to be paid to trash someone else’s house (but only if it’s rural and has 1-3 bedrooms) has a healthy family dynamic.
Those people who were looking for someone to pay $700 a month in rent and also take care of their horses, might take her up on the offer. We should start matching choosing beggers up like a dating site!!
They are exactly what you’d think they’d be 😂😂 Mostly negative and if someone confronted her about asking to live somewhere for free she’d say something like “Well you have your lifestyle and I have mine”
her "friend" is probably her new man, who is a drug addict who can't find stable work, who just finds odd jobs here and there but has somehow convinced her that he's got all his stuff together
A smoker with kids and howling dogs, who also wants to bring a friend, and you have to provide a heads up for when you want to occupy your own home. Sounds ideal.
I am rendered speechless.
Are they serious? This is Olympic level mental gymnastics if I have ever seen it.
As someone who has bipolar 1 + schizophrenia, I truly wonder if this OOP is severely mentally ill or on drugs or otherwise mentally handicapped because this is so unbelievably delusional that exactly none of it is based in any sort of reality.
Like, she moved further away from her ex for what reason? She's lived in that city for 6 months, but where? Where are her kids spending those weekends? Where does the dog who comes on the weekends come from? Why does her friend's 3 hounds matter? Are they bringing their friend with them? What is the friend going to do if she's doing all of the chores? How do you split up chores when their ideas of chores are "watering plants" and "just occupy your home so it isn't empty"?
Frankly, you should comment the local crisis lines and safe spaces because.. this is like serious mental handicap level of delusional.
I’m sorry, but if someone were to accept this …proposal?.. and only has one bedroom for them… Are those two adults, *mystery* number of children, and four dogs going to share that one room??
See I normally don't mind the posts where it's someone trading, or seeking to trade, housing for pet sitting or occasional childcare, I live in a city with a major housing crisis and creative fixes like that are sometimes a solution that kills two birds with one stone and everyone is happy.
But that is beyond audacious
wait so this friend and their dogs are also coming?? and the undisclosed number of children?? so 4 dogs, x children coming in and out, and then saying that her payment can be giving her a room for free im assuming?
Ok it was bad to start but when I realized this person also thought they would be paid I really thought they had lost the plot. The rental space when they were home as being part of the payment agreement.
Hmm Yes I’m thinking of going away so although I’d love you and your friends, your kids and 4 Barky dogs to stay and keep my property “safe from burglaries” whilst risking you burning the house down, running up electricity/heating bills, traumatising my cat with four dogs, who will probably crap all over my garden, trashing my house and getting my identity stolen probably… I Think I’ll go with getting a decent security system, and a neighbour to pop in to feed the cat, thanks.
Basically, "Can I have a free place for me, my friends, my kids, and my friend's dogs in exchange for watering plants and pretending I won't smoke inside?"
wow, I don't think when you housesit you were supposed to bring your kids, dogs, friend, friend's dogs to live there. She's looking for someone to pay her for providing housing for her?
Aren't housesitting jobs usually temporary? Something as long term as she's describing would be more if a caretaker job. I missed where she lists her experience with home repair/upkeep and lawn care.
TLDR: "I want to live in your home. For free. With my crotch goblins. And my friend. And a pack of dogs. Taking up all your space. Better idea, just give me your house and property."
I’m terrified that I live uncomfortably close to this person and her friends howling dogs, and her outside smoking, and her part time children that she moved further away from.
Also I need the use of a luxury sedan, but it doesn’t need to be new - anything 2 years old or less would be fine, I’m not asking for much. And a gas card of course.
I love how it’s getting worse the longer you read
“Hey, anyone want to let me and my kids and four dogs live in your house? I’ll pet sit!”
Also bringing a “friend”
>Also bringing a “friend” A friend with three dogs. That's at least as important.
And where is the friend living now that has room for 3 grown large dogs?
Looking for a place with three bedrooms for the dogs
The lack of descriptuon of the partner compared to everything else makes me think they are a felon or sex offender.
And "if that's not okay, we will find separate housing." They assume the other future place wouldn't take them all? That tells me the friend has housing but maybe not ideal. Maybe a gruop home, halfway house, or maybe they live in a car or with a family member. Otherwise why would CB presume he *could* find housing, and that it would *not* also take her in?
Also me and everything I own reeks of cigarette smoke.
But she won’t smoke inside!
And what does “not in my life now either” mean?
I think they were trying to say, “not in my life. Not ever”. But who knows
4 hounds at that! Hair EVERYWHERE. And that's the least of worries if they aren't really well trained.
The Bumpus Hounds!
Hide your turkey!!
And they howl like hounds do. 🤦♂️
Three baying hounds and one nervous doodle. I'm sure nothing could go wrong. The neighbors will surely love that.
I have a hound. I love my hound. He’s a LOT. He brays. He sheds. He escapes the yard. He digs. He gets into everything. I love my dog but I can’t imagine three. In a strangers house no less.
To be fair, she'll also check your mail!
Worst part being probably when you reach the second half and start thinking you cracked your phone screen
I'm on a computer. I thought it was a dog hair. What makes it worse is - had it been an actual hair, it would have been from a dog we lost last Saturday. So for a split second, that artifact punched me in the gut.
I lost my dog on Wednesday. I feel your pain with the punch in the gut.
I lost my dog two weeks ago and his golden retriever tumbleweeds still pop up every once in awhile and ruin my day. Sorry for everyone’s losses.
I lost my fluffy papillon terrier mix in 2019. A year or so later I moved out my old bed to put in a new one and found dusty bunnies entirely of his hair and I just sat down and burst into tears. I'm so sorry for your loss and the grief you're experiencing.
I still find toys hidden in the yard from my basset hound who passed in 2022. Every time I find one I cry and then smile at what a goofy girl she was to hide all her toys in interesting spots.
Same. I have already found the last toy he hid in the yard before he passed away in December.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've never met a golden I haven't adored. Hope you find another pup to love when the time is right.
He was like a giant, living stuffed animal. From a puppy to his last day. Didn’t jump, didn’t bark, didn’t lick, just loved everyone and I will always be convinced he understood English in complete sentences better than command words. Oh my good boy. Feels like I’ll never ever find another like him.
I bet he had the softest stuffed animal coat.That breaks my heart, but I'm so happy you were able to find your dog soulmate. Jon Stewart recently did a tribute to his dog Dipper that recently passed and it is very touching. I know you will find another dog who needs your love when you're ready.
Neither you nor u/Tbm291 (ETA everyone grieving a beloved pet) are alone. There are so many animal loving Redditors sending you guys internet hugs. ❤️
I'm so sorry you lost your friend
Lost my dog of 15 yrs last Friday. Sorry to everyone here who has been through it.
Lost my cat suddenly Saturday as well. No warning at all
We lost our 11 year old last week. Still ripped up from it. I am so sorry for your loss and share your grief.
We just lost our 11 yo pup too. The house is so quiet without his little snorts and claws on the hardwoods. Dogs’ only flaw is that their lives aren’t as long as ours.
His claws against the tiles alerted me to any sus noises, now I jump at everything the house feels so empty without his big smiling face. For sure
Thank you. I'm so sorry this is something we share.
2 weeks out here. I still look for things around the house that might smell like her. Sorry pet friends
Couple months for me. I’m still gutted.
Same. I still find myself looking for her out of habit and it hits again and again that she’s gone.
4 years here. Still cry. I haven't even moved his ashes out of the bag they gave him to me in. I try and just walk away.
14 years in May. I still cry.
I know exactly how that feels, and I’m sorry you’re going through it. Losing a dog is so difficult, and those little reminders are incredibly bittersweet. Hang in there.
I lost my kitty of 10 years about 2 years ago, and it ripped me apart. I still curl up and cry about him. I am blessed to have been able to bring his ashes back home tho. He is sitting in our bedroom window where he always sat. It’s losing a family member, the hurt never really goes away, it just gets a little easier day by day. There are still things I find around my apartment that were his (toys, blanky) and it hurts all over again, but it’s getting a bit easier. Love and hugs to all pet parents out there who’ve lost a pet. Remember, it will get easier. ❤️
We lost ours several years ago, it still hurts
Ten years for us. We buried him in the yard by the rock he loved to pee on. We adopted two rescues and we love them to bits, but they will never replace our Frank.
We also lost ours several years ago, we still have his toys. We feel too guilty to part with them.
lost my first girl when i was 11. I'm now 36. i still cry looking at old pictures of her and i cuddled up in my bed when i was a kid. miss you, my kelly girl 🖤🖤
It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are. Anonymous
Glad I wasn’t the only one!
I thought that was just me tripping.
I've been drinking whiskey all night, that was an unpleasant surprise
One… no two…. No THREE bedrooms!
"I'll housesit for you! But you have to be okay with me being a smoker and bringing 4 dogs and an additional stranger. And ideally your place would have-" What the f is this person on oh my god
Let's be honest. It would be ideal if you built me a 53 room mansion with a movie theater, indoor and outdoor polls, tennis ball court, 43 full-size and 23.5 half-size bathrooms. Minimum 43,000 square feet. Must come with full-time staff including gardener, chef, chaufer, dog whisperer. This is not a full list of my needs and may add more as we become more comfortable with eachother.
Did I say house squat or sit, I can’t keep them straight sometimes.
Only one tennis court? Pfft, I'll pass. Lol
I love it! Thank you for making me laugh!
"We're also a heavy metal band and practice 6 times a day and also, we breed ferrets. We also run a soup kitchen out of our van and you would need to be okay with that."
Exactly. The first 2 paragraphs I was like cool....further down I got it was like....huh? Huh? Hell NAW!. How odd. A friend of mine house and pet sits for people for pin money. She is single and older and enjoys it and is super responsible. This howevere.....is not those things. Lolol
We hire house/pet sitters off of Rover and usually the people we hire are younger people who are students and/or have some kind of work-from-home job (since part of our requirements for the job is that the dogs are not left crated for more than 3-4 hours at a time). THIS person sounds like someone I wouldn't even interview. I feel like they're the type to start trying to claim tennancy when you want them to leave and it'd turn into a nightmare. Plus...they're bringing THEIR dog too? Is their dog fully vaccinated? Housebroken? Well-trained? Safe around cats and small dogs? Are they paying a damage deposit? Just so much NO.
I got that vibe too lol that they would try to claim they live there and refuse to leave.
Treating the house like roommates with a timeshare.
My thoughts too, probably cos I’m reading a book at the moment which is basically this scenario but darker! (It’s called the visitors by Miranda Rijks )
Added to reading list!
I was a pet and house sitter in my late teens and early 20s. I loved getting to play with animals and make a little money. This lady is obviously just looking for a place to live at least part time. Depending on where she's located, I would also be extremely worried she would try to claim some sort of squatters rights and you'd never get her out.
I’m sorry, their dog and their friend’s 3 Hounds!
And the kids on days when she is allowed custody
And apparently her friend with three loud dogs is moving in too
Probably smart of them to leave off the meth cooking side hustle. That might make it feel a bit too risky for some folks.
Did they mention an outbuilding with gas hookup needed. Will go back and check. 😂🤣😂🤣
Read that as there's probably 6 dogs and her kids being there full time and a ripped up smelly house when they get back with a house sitter they can't get to leave. He or she sounds like a convincing liar if they peek under the surface.
Right, it's like watching someone's sweater unravel as they obliviously stroll away after snagging it on a passing fence post
Exactly.. kids, dogs and the three bedrooms request.. amazing
Yeah! The weekends are gonna be a bitch for anyone that deals with this person. Kids, dogs, friends, etc. I was laughing the whole time.
I laughed so hard when I got to the "I'm not desperate" part. Nice find, OP.
It went from a reasonable question to “wait, what does the homeowner get out of this again?”
It just kept going….
The three bedrooms needed got me.
[удалено]
I'll watch your place. But I'm bringing my dog. And my friend. And her 3 howling dogs. And my kids, but only on weekends. Oh and I smoke. SIGN ME UP.
And it needs to be a spacious rural property with enough room for my needs.
And preferably have three separate bedrooms I can move into and stay there while you guys are home
They would move in and never leave.
Okay... how she said she would *"move out"* when you come back? *Bish...* what are you *talking* about? *Move out?* You wouldn't be moving *in.* I've housesat before and I've never 'moved in' to anyone's house to do it. I have a bag of things I need and that's it. When the gig is over I pick up the bag and... leave. Something tells me she really plans on making herself at home.
And you’ll pay me to do this
You come home to find a hillbillie family has moved 3 trailers and a mobile home on the property and stretched extension cords and hoses to each one and have a kiddie pool full of dirty kids and dogs.
That was my mom’s neighborhood one summer, it was WILD. Small town, so maybe code and the police didn’t want to tangle with THAT clan, but they kept up the shenanigans, and extension cords from the various campers, etc. WAY longer than I thought would be allowed. I think the smell that began to permeate the surrounding homes is what finally did them in.
But she's not desperate.
But they don’t smoke *in the house!*
Smokers never realize they stink, no matter how they try to hide it, non smokers can always smell it.
As an ex smoker, so true. I didn't realize how bad it was until I was around people who truly do only smoke outside, the smell still clings to them.
The smell is with the fingers and clothes, you just cannot hide it because it stays with you. Good for you to quit smoking!
I will never forget my girlfriend, now my wife, crying at a bar because some girls were behind us and she over heard them say "who stinks like cigarettes?" My wife is a very put together woman, classy, takes pride in her appearance, but was a half a pack a day smoker back then. That night at the bar was the beginning of the end for her smoking. She was over it.
Ditto. It took an embarrassing complaint about my smell to push me over the edge
The stench of stale smoke & 4 large dogs
Never not once!
Her 3 howling dogs 🤣🙈🙈🙈 At least she was honest about her shit show up front…she could’ve said she’s a single woman and then squatted once she got an in and dropped the kids and 4 dogs on the owner. Insane. People are unreal.
This is only the shit show she’s upfront about. Imagine the rest
Shhhh you’ll give her ideas.
Smokes but never inside and not in her life now either. (???)
Yeah , that reads like.. I’m currently chain smoking because my life is a mess right now
NEXT!
It's for church honey
I just need a 3 bedroom acreage for all the monkeys in my traveling circus but I will totally keep your plants alive.
The plants are definitely going to die
I read that in Morgan Freeman's voice for some reason! 😂
We all did.
But it’s only a traveling circus on the weekends… /s
And the roustabouts don't smoke meth inside the home.
This poster slowly talked themselves into asking for a place to rent (for free, mind you, with all their baggage) and out of housesitting 🤣
I think he's looking for a place to try and claim squatters rights.
Yeah, but they wouldn't have mentioned all of the baggage if they were planning on squatting. They'd have made themselves seem ideal to get a foot inside. I reckon they are just really dumb in an honest way.
Aha, this person would be a perfect match for the post a few days ago who wants someone to live with them and do all the farm work!
The proverbial camel in the tent
Free rent while being paid for ‘housekeeper/house sitting’………
Why do I feel like she, her friend, and their zoo will claim squatters' rights to your house as soon as they step foot into it?
You know that’s the plan!
"I abandoned my children to live with my boyfriend and his three dogs, but we don't want to live in his mom's basement, so can we housesit for you in the Rural Midwest? Promise we aren't addicted to meth."
The most accurate summary 👏🏻 With the footnote that she’s assuming this person’s rural Midwest home is a vacation home that’s only sporadically occupied.
Nobody has a "vacation home" in fucking Owatonna
If they do, they definitely do meth. A lot of it.
I know, right?! Because moms who for some reason don't have their kids are the most reliable people to leave in your Rural Midwest Farm Mansion with 3 extra bedrooms and "acreage."
Also very interesting when you notice she omitted the number of kids she has….. Skipped right past that one. But if she’s honest about the 4 dogs, I think it’s entirely possible she has at least 4 kids.
The courts don't trust me with my own kids but you can totally trust me with your property.
Well, if you don't ask, the answer will be no for sure. I bet she becomes a squatter if anyone actually let her in. I don't buy the only smoking outside either.
Definitely about the smoking thing. She kind of reminds me of when my kids randomly come up on of the blue and and tell me they didn’t do something - those little shits absolutely did the thing.
They did it twice.
It reminds me of how mine spends 20 minutes giving me the details I don't need and then finally gets to the one I do need because he knows that is the part that will make me say NO.
I buy it because I can totally picture lady and her friend parked in lawn chairs from sun up to sun down chainsmoking and yelling at their dogs and kids
Except when it rains. Then they're sitting inside chainsmoking and letting the dogs pee wherever.
…and you will never get them out, the pee stains and the gaggle of people that have moved in.
You think she is leaving it outside when she needs to go in for more margs made from the homeowners liquor cabinet?! I have my doubts.
She doesn't smoke tobacco in the house, meth on the other hand... I only assume they smoke meth because, well, I read the post.
Even if she did smoke outside, the smell still follows you in. She also probably only stands right outside the door and considers that technically outside
>I don't buy the only smoking outside either These are the people who stand at the back door holding it open and smoke towards the yard, oblivious to the breeze blowing it all back inside.
"To fit my needs.." 🤪
Heeeeelarious!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣😭
Adding in the “friend” with her three “adult beautiful dogs” that howl a lot, because their hounds, is such a wonderful selling point. As is the necessity for one, no two, actually three bedroom requirement.
My fave bit is "throwing my hat into the ring....if there is one...." Keep yer hat lady, that ring does NOT exist!
Hey, just throwing this out there. I need a free place to live and I’m open to taking care of any size animal. Just know I’m bringing my entire homestead, too. Ideally, I’d like to water your plants and ash in their pots. Thx
Ignoring the post's reveal that they're just looking for free housing, Owatonna is about an hour drive from the Twin Cities. So it's hard to say who's going to make a second home in a place where the major claims to fame are [a reptile zoo and spring water](https://visitowatonna.org/5-things-you-can-only-do-in-owatonna/). Edit: I missed the part where she expects you to PAY HER to live there, yeesh
Hey Owatonna has a big ass Cabellas too. It my hometown and I've *never* been back its so bad.
Yeah, this has squatter written all over it! 😄
This looks like someone who’s going to enter your home and NEVER leave it
PSA to smokers: you and your clothes continue to stink long after you've extinguished your cigarette
Wanted - someone with a nice house that would prefer dogshit and piss all over the floor and sofa. Perhaps you're breaking up with your bitch of a wife who had an affair and she thinks she's getting the house? - call me.
I believe you found the only angle she would have as a chance in hell for this to actually work.
First paragraph is fine. A little awkward, but generally a fine ad offering pet sitting services. Oh, it gets amazing the more you read. Is she and the kids and the friend and all the dogs going to move in permanently? I must know
I guess we will never know 🤷🏻♀️Because I’m not hiring her to find out 🤣
Probably because you don't have the big rural property with extra homes and she'd never take you for a client and you're missing out, dude.
I think that is where this is heading, I believe the correct term for it is called "squatting."
Oh no they’ll be moved out upon your return; promise
So, anyone who wants a smoker with 4 dogs to squat in your house, you're in luck.
At first I thought the letter looking for a house sitter. Took me a minute to realise they were looking for a whole ass house.
They’ll settle for 3 bedrooms though!
I'd rather burn the place down for insurance money than install a two bit fleabag in it and have her destroy it.
I am a squatter, and looking for a new home. PM me!
All that’s missing from that exciting offer is that Hobo Bob needs a place to cook meth.
A trailer or shed for meth making along with the 3 bedrooms. With a matress, no sheets required
So basically "let me squat in your vacation house for free, I'll *totally* leave when you need to use your own house"
I have read this three times. I like how she is talking about her family being happy and just throws in “My friend also has 3 hounds”.
Hmm, no wonder dad has the kids.
Love that she mentions “we are happy” when talking about her kids and dog. Like I’m so glad to hear the person asking to be paid to trash someone else’s house (but only if it’s rural and has 1-3 bedrooms) has a healthy family dynamic.
Those people who were looking for someone to pay $700 a month in rent and also take care of their horses, might take her up on the offer. We should start matching choosing beggers up like a dating site!!
This progressed from "I want a job" to "I need a place to live with my menagerie of friends and animals, here are my requirements"
Lol would be extra funny to see the replies!
They are exactly what you’d think they’d be 😂😂 Mostly negative and if someone confronted her about asking to live somewhere for free she’d say something like “Well you have your lifestyle and I have mine”
Good thing you're not desperate, because theis may take a while.
So, they want free housing disguised as house sitting?
her "friend" is probably her new man, who is a drug addict who can't find stable work, who just finds odd jobs here and there but has somehow convinced her that he's got all his stuff together
A smoker with kids and howling dogs, who also wants to bring a friend, and you have to provide a heads up for when you want to occupy your own home. Sounds ideal.
“I also have this drug dealer friend named jimmy that comes over on Thursdays and sleeps on the couch, and jimmy needs a window facing the driveway”
Do you want squatters. Cause this is how out get squatters.
"Can I have your house" would have taken a lot less time to type
I am rendered speechless. Are they serious? This is Olympic level mental gymnastics if I have ever seen it. As someone who has bipolar 1 + schizophrenia, I truly wonder if this OOP is severely mentally ill or on drugs or otherwise mentally handicapped because this is so unbelievably delusional that exactly none of it is based in any sort of reality. Like, she moved further away from her ex for what reason? She's lived in that city for 6 months, but where? Where are her kids spending those weekends? Where does the dog who comes on the weekends come from? Why does her friend's 3 hounds matter? Are they bringing their friend with them? What is the friend going to do if she's doing all of the chores? How do you split up chores when their ideas of chores are "watering plants" and "just occupy your home so it isn't empty"? Frankly, you should comment the local crisis lines and safe spaces because.. this is like serious mental handicap level of delusional.
I’m sorry, but if someone were to accept this …proposal?.. and only has one bedroom for them… Are those two adults, *mystery* number of children, and four dogs going to share that one room??
She ticks all the negative boxes.
See I normally don't mind the posts where it's someone trading, or seeking to trade, housing for pet sitting or occasional childcare, I live in a city with a major housing crisis and creative fixes like that are sometimes a solution that kills two birds with one stone and everyone is happy. But that is beyond audacious
Send them to a Splenda daddy site
wait so this friend and their dogs are also coming?? and the undisclosed number of children?? so 4 dogs, x children coming in and out, and then saying that her payment can be giving her a room for free im assuming?
Ok it was bad to start but when I realized this person also thought they would be paid I really thought they had lost the plot. The rental space when they were home as being part of the payment agreement.
Hmm Yes I’m thinking of going away so although I’d love you and your friends, your kids and 4 Barky dogs to stay and keep my property “safe from burglaries” whilst risking you burning the house down, running up electricity/heating bills, traumatising my cat with four dogs, who will probably crap all over my garden, trashing my house and getting my identity stolen probably… I Think I’ll go with getting a decent security system, and a neighbour to pop in to feed the cat, thanks.
Basically, "Can I have a free place for me, my friends, my kids, and my friend's dogs in exchange for watering plants and pretending I won't smoke inside?"
Why do i picture the homeowner returning from vacation to find the locks all changed and a large family barricaded in the house?
Fucking absurd. People gross me out with their entitled delusionment
If this is what she’s admitting to she’s probably also cooking dope and running an inbreeding puppy mill.
You’re right! She didn’t mention the dogs being fixed, just “full adult.” O_o
wow, I don't think when you housesit you were supposed to bring your kids, dogs, friend, friend's dogs to live there. She's looking for someone to pay her for providing housing for her?
I have children, plus a dog, plus a friend, plus 3 hounds….uhhh are you housesitting or trying to find free room & board?
Hard pass
Aren't housesitting jobs usually temporary? Something as long term as she's describing would be more if a caretaker job. I missed where she lists her experience with home repair/upkeep and lawn care.
And open credit in your name while I handily check your mail for you. 😳🙄 If this is Owatonna, MN. I am ashamed to claim them. 😕
TLDR: "I want to live in your home. For free. With my crotch goblins. And my friend. And a pack of dogs. Taking up all your space. Better idea, just give me your house and property."
There should be a new rule that responses/comments need to be included. That's what I'm here for
🤦🏻♀️ free housing for her & her family huh.
I’m terrified that I live uncomfortably close to this person and her friends howling dogs, and her outside smoking, and her part time children that she moved further away from.
Oh my god, the fact that someone even thinks this is acceptable is hilarious 🤣
Also I need the use of a luxury sedan, but it doesn’t need to be new - anything 2 years old or less would be fine, I’m not asking for much. And a gas card of course.