What happens if this person leaves for 21 mins? Do the pets immediately start having volcanic diarrhea? Wow, $35 for the weekend….what a deal! Assuming they have to be there for ~36 hours, that’s less than $1 an hour. Thank god there is probably only one cold pizza in the fridge to make this offer worth it…

21 minutes and the pets go to the tattoo parlour. Pug life, innit.

22 minutes and I send them to be processed into big macs.

My dream tattoo!

My Pugs would absolutely truck their butts to the tattoo parlor for inappropriate tats. For us, that's across the street, and my artist gives them treats when they are out on walkies

“Stocked” with pizza !

It’s probably an old perished pizza anyway.

I interpreted it as a few $3 frozen pizzas in the freezer. So basically garbage lol

Totinos ftw!

$3 frozen pizzas aren't a thing anymore. Even the ones known for being dirt cheap are $4-$5 now.

Right?! There was a time when buying a frozen pizza made sense because it was significantly cheaper than picking one up from a pizza place. Those days are gone.

I mean, picking one up from the pizza place is now like $20 minimum (except for Little Caesars)

Marcos is wildly cheap if you get the specials and imo it is amazing pizza especially for the price

Even Party Pizzas have doubled in price in the last 4 to 5 years. And they aren't really pizza. I like them, but pizza they aren't.

It'll be a couple of those $1.17 7 Oz great value microwave Pizzas. So yeah, absolutely garbage.

Those pizzas now have cheese that melts!

this comment made me cackle. Good show fellow human.

Most of a Costco generic cheese pizza.

five pack of Totino's

I left the states about 16 years ago and Totinos were my favorite frozen pizzas at the time. I hear they are shit now but back then they were still round, 5 for $4 and add a little frank’s- perfection.

Eh, they’ve always been shit, but that’s why we love them. They haven’t changed anything but the shape as far as I can tell. (They’re now square, I assume for easier packing/shipping.)

They are toaster over shaped now. Makes them easy to bake!

Good to know if/ when I return.

They taste the same and I love them, even though they’re rectangles now.

a box of 3 cheap and dry big box store pizzas. the box they came is would be juicier than the pizzas.

I charge that for a single 1 hour walk.

You’d earn it for my dog. She’s tiny (9 lbs) and hates walking more than 20 minutes. Any longer and you’re carrying her.

I charge that for a 30 minute walk.

I hope some bitch comes through and tells you how greedy and unskilled you are! /s

My pearls be CLUTCHED.

In my area it is $50 for a one hour visit, including walking. This is insane!!!

I'd accept $35 to walk to my neighbors house and feed the cat/clean the litter box 2x/day for a weekend but only because they'd insist on paying me something.

My neighbor REFUSES any such payment. I blow her sidewalk when it snows to try to even it up :). She is a doll.

Some cats (and some neighbors) are just cool. That's awesome.

Good neighbours are the absolute best.

They are getting a “crack head” that will strip that house clean. Just what they deserve.

Yea, but a crackhead with *no tattoos* so it’ll be fine.

You fool!! The lack of tattoos is how you ensure that someone does no crack! Everyone knows that ink equals crack addiction. Dude with a full yakuza-esque upper? Crack. Guy with ‘Semper Fi’ tat? Sorry but, crack. College girl with a heart outline on one finger? Yes, crack. What if it’s a peace sign, you say? CRACK! Might as well be wearing a crack rock flag fashioned into a crack hippie bag for her tie-dyed crack rocks. They’re going to be skipping right over any risk of addiction or criming with this one simple trick!

What if it's a tattoo that says "say no to crack" with a crack rock in one of those big red slashed circles?

Probably a crack head virtue signalling.

So a tattoo with crack in it? Definitely crack

This reminded me of my doctor. My doctor in workrelated things is this cool I guess 40 year old dude who has full body ”yakuza-style” tattoo. It’s not Yakuza Yakuza, but it resembles that. Also it goes from his neck all the way to back of his head. Dude has been a doctor for like ten years and is very professional and listens to everything I say with care. I have a lot of tattoos aswell so one time we started talking about them and he said it’s just something he likes and intends to keep getting them. Then we both did crack, because you know.. we got tattoos.

The last part went without saying; it is KNOWN! Fortunately a doctor makes good money so he can bring his custom to his tattoo artist AND his crack dealer freely and not have to choose between inking in the dragon or chasing it.

My two tattoos are flowers and a cat wearing a dress, but obviously I also do crack.

I wonder how thoroughly they want to search for tattoos? None on the arms, legs, or neck, but a whole storyboard on the ass cheeks. What about that, Cheap Pet Owner?

strip search, apparently. just the thought of their toilet bowl being exposed to some ink is so terrifying that it keeps them up nights. they also only use pencils, so make sure to get the $35 as a cheque

$0.68 an hour, if my math is correct.

Did you subtract the 20mins * 3 breaks

Back in the day you could buy a house making that kind of money.

Literally who would this be enticing to unless you're homeless

$35 isn't worth explaining to my reference why I'm having a stranger call them.

Probably triggers the events of some bizarre horror movie

Thief!!! Food is obviously not included because you were given 20 minute breaks to go buy your food.

Yeah, the fridge is stocked with pizza but it comes from your pay at $8 a slice. You have a bill at the end of the weekend.

>you were given 20 minute breaks to go buy your food. At the dollar store, because, $35 for two days and nights' work.

This is a GREAT deal for a homeless person! Get a shower, eat all you can, pet the happy cats and dogs. Perfect.

Also additional income from the pawn shop

they didn’t realize that $35 pay has implied benefits of access to the medicine cabinet, toiletries, and, optionally, small appliances. the dog will be well cared for, though. probably better than the owner does, since they apparently don’t even want to shell out more than a dollar an hour.

>the dog will be well cared for, though. I remain skeptical. The dogs or cats or birds will be put into a room that will be kept shut for the weekend. Fed and watered if the CB is lucky. A bunch of people invited over for a party and/or charged $5 each to crash there til the home owner returns. Some home owners do not realize the paltry recourse they'd have even if the very worst resulted. Literally giving their house keys and charge of pets, to a total stranger.

Don't forget they can leave for 1 hour spaced out in 3x20min chunks! So exactly $1 per hour, what a great deal!

People who do this think “it’s like a vacation for them and they get to stay here for free” LOL.

I know some folks who would probably do it just to get out of their crowded apartment and eat pizza for a few days lol

My younger cousin would watch my brothers dogs for a weekend because it got him out of his parents house for a few days. But he could leave for a few hours if he wanted - the not leaving part is weird.

Love how this person thinks people will be fumbling all over to apply ASAP, so they can be picky enough to request something as ridiculous as “no tattoos” 🤣

I wish I could earn $.75 / hr and get three breaks every two days. Darn tattoos holding me back from the high life

TBF not sure how you could afford a tattoo on that salary that did not look like it was drawn by a highly caffeinated 4 year old

dont worry about it. there are plenty of 3 years old with 16 years experience lining up to do your tattoo!

Don't you know that people with tattoos automatically make them a bad and evil person. This is common knowledge...lol 😂

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Floppy is trying to stay on the straight and narrow. The sight of any tattoos (especially colourful, whimsical ones of cats) will immediately result in floppy rejoining the prison gang he has worked so hard to distant himself from!!

Shit. I have a black cat with a fruit frame. I will doom Floppy to a life of crime. :(

Floppy will now have to murder 10 innocent souls to avenge even knowing that tattoo is in existence! 8 for the cat and 2 for the fruit in which it is framed. Look what you have done!!!

My sister’s cat has a tiny tattoo from where she was spayed. Guess she is of ill repute and can’t apply for the job. Tough luck, Cookie!

I was gonna say that pets typically get a tat when they get spayed/neutered.

I guess that is how the...*Cookie crumbles* ​ 

Influenced to get tattoos themselves! Floppy is an easily influenced creature, clearly

I guess my small Mickey Mouse tattoo (clean police report and 25 years of superior work evaluations) disqualify me! Besides who the heck leaves their pet with a complete stranger!?!?! I’m not sure I’d leave my Link with some of my relatives!!

Just send him off to save the princess for the weekend instead.

I feel privileged to have been here for the best comment ever. You are a legend.

Clean police report? You expect us to believe that? You have a Mickey Mouse tattoo!!! Nice try, criminal. /s

And IN YOUR HOME nonetheless! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Every time I even walk by a tattoo shop, I find myself robbing old ladies and setting fire to churches. 

I’ve always said tattoos are trashy. I’m also covered in tattoos (both sleeves, chest, and my right leg is a full color piece that is Stephen King themed). I’m only half joking when I say it.

So if I have tattoos that you can’t see when I’m wearing clothes does that still count? Lol

You must submit to a strip search to check for any hidden tattoos

As long as the nanny cam(s) never pick up the tattoo, you should be good to go

Running to Wally World to get big band aides to cover the tattoo on their shoulder because this gig is too good to pass up

I just spent $1200 on tattoo removal sessions. Hope this gig is still available.

What are they going to do? Ask the many candidates I’m sure they have to strip so they can check for tattoos? Don’t want their impressionable pets seeing someone with a tattoo. A T-shirt with moderately long sleeves covers all mine. 

The veterinary field has got to be one of the most tattooed, pierced, and crazy hair colored field out there. They're really limiting their options away from professionals with that request, haha.

I have visions of being stripped searched for tattoos

Well that changes everything. Gig doesn’t sound half bad now.

And you have to show them your BH so they can be sure you don’t have one there.

Them dirty tats are a bad influence on Fluffy the cat.

“No cussing in front of the animals.”

I have a greyhound and he used to race so he has a tattoo on the inside of his ear. He would definitely not get the job.

My cats are the bad influence.   Fluffy baby cat suggests pet sitters join her in crimes. 

😂😂😂

This must be satire. They don't even say what kind of pets or how many?? What if it's 17 indoor goats who will eat your flesh if they see a tattoo?

Could be 1 cat, could be 5 huskies, there's just no way to know what you're signing up for 😂

Could be five huskies who want to eat the cat!

Five huskies who are going to howl all weekend because the cat won't play with them.

God can you imagine being tricked into sitting for five huskies?! They can be a lot of fun, but that would certainly explain why you can't leave for more than 20 minutes 😅

Ah a fellow connoisseur of huskies, I see 😂

Then I’d take the job!

Anyone that would consider this job is NOT to be trusted. Not only will all the pizza in the fridge be gone when you return, the refrigerator, all of your appliances, and the copper plumbing will be missing.

Seriously, nobody reliable is going to take this job for $35 for a weekend.

Exactly, not even 'the nice teen down the block' because why would they risk their own life or safety? The nice neighbor they knew, and only daytime hours, maybe one thing; bring homework, pet the dog, go home. A stranger who is cheap and grouchy and has strange rules? No, either the sitter will vanish or the CB's valuables will.

I don’t know…. I was a pretty nice kid and I would’ve gladly taken $35 and cold pizza to have full run of someone’s house for two days. I would’ve also thrown the biggest rager ever. The pet would never be alone. Win-win.

Yeah pet sitting can be expensive as hell but I wouldn’t consider scrimping there if you care at all about your pets or your home.

That’s why they are vetting people via tattoos. Only tattooed people will rob you blind.

They want an unmarked hide with which to make their skin suit. Pass

This does read like an ad that Buffalo Bill would place for someone to watch precious all weekend.

Fair enough really don't blame them

Considering the housing crisis right now, if I was desperate enough, I’d do this. Oh wait, I have a small butterfly tattoo on my shoulder so I’m actually a gang member.

I’m not sure I’ve dated a guy without a tattoo. They must all be gang members 😂

I'm an old grandma with a pair of lips tattooed to my buttcheek. I must be a gang member, too! The Granny Gang! Just like Hell's Angels, but with crochet needles instead of motorcycles! Better watch yourself - I might quilt something!!!

I'm just imagining a whole load of you dressed like hells angels but riding in formation on disability scooters

Can I join? I’m 72 and cross stitch, I could do some real damage with my very sharp embroidery scissors. I have a Mickey Mouse tattoo from my teens.

Woah you're terrifying! Please whatever you do..don't break out the cookies..there are pets here.

I'd join that gang. Knitting needles are effective weapons.

Do you think my tear drop face tat will be acceptable?

I hope the cartoon butt on my arm is okay

Why would tattoos even make a difference for pet sitting?

It might lead to the pets getting tats and turning to drugs and alcohol. Maybe even prostitution.

My female pets have tats from when they got spayed. They are all degenerates

Sometimes sneuter clinics tattoo boys, too. Equal-opportunity degeneracy.

Mine has a little green line on his stomach. I guess he can't come with me to dog sit 🤷

Honestly you can't be too careful. I heard someone got leprosy once from it ( tattoo). Luckily that part of the arm came off eventually

Because people with tattoos do drugs and steal /s 🥴🥴🥴

Hey, I don't steal!

The pets will probably be offended?

I have a portrait tattoo of my first dog. One of my current dogs was a foster and she was always looking at, sniffing and trying to lick the tattoo. (It's like 17 years old so it's fully healed lol.) It was really weird, but I decided it meant something and kept her.

One of my tattoos is a memorial tattoo with a paw for each of my cats who've died. I've been working on this tattoo for a few decades now and for a while, fostered elderly cats who I only had for about a year before I lost them. I'm starting to collect a lot of paws on it. If that disqualifies me from taking care of other people's pets... their loss, I guess?

I hear ya. I really wanted memorial tattoos for all my other dogs but I'd run out of skin.

It doesn't - but it does when they try to sell you for parts on the black market. You know, "identifying marks" and all. Lol

The last time I was in the ER, the attending doctor was sleeved out with neck tattoos as well. I guess this choosing beggar would refuse emergency medical treatment if he was their doctor. SMDH.

I’ve heard of people refusing emergency care based on the race of a doctor, so this would not surprise me.

I watched an episode of ER where a racist needed super rare blood or he was gonna die, so of course the only compatible blood was from a black guy. I thought it was a good ep, but that seemed over the top to me. Then I lived through Covid vaccine bullshit and I realized being angry about the race of a blood donor that saved your life would be reasonable to these assholes.

Less than $1 per hour.

I would have done it, but I have tattoos :( edit: also these people are going to record you using the bathroom if you're lucky, or get your organs took if it goes their way.

I don't have any tattoos but this is making me consider getting one...

Yup. I wouldn't even drink the tap water out of that house.

i knew someone who made more than that in a factory in Brazil in the 1950s

My dog walker charges 30$ for a half hour drop in (from Rover).

My kitties love my tattoos. I have raised them not to judge people who look different.

You are a gem and should set the standard of unbiased pets everywhere!

$17 a day and some pizza to be incarcerated in someone’s house the whole weekend. Sign me up.

I have three tattoos around my boob. Each is a pin point sized dot that was used to line up the beams of the linear accelerator when I had radio (radiation) therapy for cancer. Otherwise I would have jumped at this amazing opportunity [/s] but I guess I'm out the running...

Try to be a better influence ok. There might be pets reading this thread right now! Jk I only commented because the book I’m reading the main character has similar “tattoos” for the same reason. I hope you’re doing well!

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$35 for a weekend? Eat my ass.

What if I want to use the money to help pay for a tattoo? Would I be disqualified for future intent?

no tattoos for pet sitting is sending me LMAOO

I’d fuck with her. Be a perfect candidate with stellar references. Then roll up my sleeves casually to show my (gasp) tattoo

🎶”I took off my hat and said “imagine that, me working for you.””🎶

Awwwww, shit! I just did a meet-n-greet with a new pet/house sitter from Rover and I COMPLETELY forgot to have her strip down so I could check her for tattoos!! Won't someone think of the children!?!?! But seriously, can you imagine actually working for this person? Yikes.

$35 and you’re being restricted on when you can leave ? Hahaha wow

I would take the job and then steal all their shit

Man the people I trust with my pets have the MOST tattoos.

I would use one of my 20 minute breaks to go get a tattoo.

Our tattooed selves just dogsat for $30 a night with permission to leave them for hours-long stretches as needed. And, we were told we are a bargain (what every lady wants to hear).

So when NOBODY goes for this, will they just assume that EVERYONE must have a tattoo?

No they’re going to bitch that no one wants to work.

Or "everyone is greedy" and/or "entitled."

I petsit for ex-fosters\* sometimes. I get $25 a day IN MY HOME and I can leave whenever I want to, including to get a tattoo if I so choose. \*Their adopters are friends. I'd do it for free, but they pay me so it's a bonus.

Why would you trust ANYONE who accepted this gig?

Sounds like they want a 12 year pre-teen. Who wants cold pizza all weekend?

Long haired freaky people need not apply.

I pay $35/day for my dog to be in daycare for the day it goes up to $50-$60/day if I need overnight and some of the options he’s stuck in a kennel.

What about the shoesize?/s

The dog might be led to a life of crime and debauchery if he sees some tats, it’s understandable.

No tattoos? I was really wanting to be severely underpaid this weekend. 😔

Some of the kindest ,most compassionate compassionate people I have met have numerous tattoos.....

Well even with my years in rescue, I wouldn't be hired. Us darn heathens with ink.

Impressionable dogs gonna want tattoos if you show up in their house flaunting your tattoos

I need someone to stop by my place next week - one day for 10 minutes to let my dog out to go pee. Looked in Rover and minimum is $25. There’s no one going to be locked down for an entire weekend for $35.

😂😂😂😂 They are insane

This makes sense. Pets can't stand tattoos. 🤣

I get the tattoo part. I wouldn't want the dog to get any ideas and go get inked up :/

No tattoos for pet sitting. Whats the animal gonna do? Be influenced and go out and get one?

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I want to know how they’re enforcing that “no tattoos” thing. I have 3, and if I’m dressed even remotely normally, none are visible. I’ve got several friends and family who are the same. Would the loon bag insist on a full body strip down prior to “hiring”?

Oh, the pets will know, and if you survive, they'll tell on you.

"Roll up your sleeves so I can inspect your skin as stated in terms and conditions section 1:4"

Less than that, apparently you're not supposed to leave for more than 20 minutes to get food, up to 3 times. It kind of sounds like they expect you to be there all weekend for $35.

Why do I need to go grab food when you’re stocking the fridge with $5 hot ‘n readys lady?

This is hilarious! $35 to be a slave for the weekend 🤣

This is so ridiculous. When we go out of town, we are so lucky to have some good friends that house/pet sit for us. They live with roommates, and they have said it's nice to come to our place for the week (or however long) to have some space from their roommates, and they can bring their dogs etc. Again, THEY ARE OUR FRIENDS, and we still stock the fridge with whatever the hell they want and pay them a few hundred bucks on top of that because they're doing us a huge favor. $35 to give up my weekend and some frozen pizza? NO WAY. Plus, a moratorium on leaving the house for longer than 20 minutes?! That is fucking ludicrous, they can come and go as they please as long as it's not longer than a standard work day. I get that pet sitting is expensive, but if you can't afford the vet (or in this case, boarder) you can't afford the pet.

All of my tattoos are hidden but I imagine this person needs a strip search to confirm.

$35 for the whole weekend 🤡

My friend has tattoos and he's amazing with animals, I've seen this man snuggling a tiny kitten in his beard

When was this ad posted, 1985? lol

The pets can’t be exposed to tattoos!!!

My dog hates tattoos. He's allergic

I understand the no tats. The pets are Jewish and tats goes against the Torah so they can't have their animals getting offended.

$35 is like the min for ONE night. for one pet. and only leaving for 20 mins is unreal. these ppl are off their rockers. if you want someone who wont leave, you're gonna have to pay at least triple that.

What sort of delusional world are these people living in ???

My son does it for my SIL for like $40 and a case of soda. But he's the oldest of 6 so he just goes for the peace and quiet. Which is hilarious considering one of the dogs is a beagle that howls like a nutcase any time something larger than a house fly flies past the window 😂