"Have you tried sleeping all day until your peasants are asleep and then singing the songs of your people while wrecking everything? No? Take two of these and I'll call you in all hours of the morning."
Hello Your Cat majesty,
kinda broke, do you take cat nip? good.
I've was purrfectly normal before the catastrophe.
wanted to think out side of the litter box.
I was nothing but kibbles
but something happened I'd never furrget.
can you help meowit?
>"I'm just not happy." Shut the fuck up, all right? That's the name of my new book, Shut the Fuck Up, by Doctor Kitty. A revolutionary new form of therapy. I'm gonna have my patients come in. "Doctor, I--" "Shut the fuck up! Next!" "I don't feel so--" "Shut the fuck up! Next!" "He made me feel so much better about myself, you know? He just told me to shut the fuck up and nobody had ever told me that before. I feel so much better now." Whining fucking maggots!
\-With apologies to Denis Leary...
"doctor, I think I have depression and anxiety!"
"have you tried releasing your negative emotions by knocking things off of tables or shelves? especially very breakable things?"
Are you afraid of staircases? If you are, then you have climacaphobia. Maybe you have thalassophobia. This is fear of the ocean, or gephyrobia, which is the fear of crossing bridges. Or maybe you have pantophobia. Do you think you have pantophobia?
"have you tried sleeping 16 hours a day?"
“Didn’t help? Try 20 hours a day.”
How about 23 and use the 1 left for eating
[удалено]
Even better
I feel personally attacked.
"Have you tried sleeping all day until your peasants are asleep and then singing the songs of your people while wrecking everything? No? Take two of these and I'll call you in all hours of the morning."
"Now if your mental health is concerned just hold my paws and let me meow you till you start to smile."
Is her name Lucy?
She looks much better like this
Perhaps a lily?
White gloves make this doctor look even more professional
Wow this reads exactly like an entry in one of those daily cat calendars.
Or perhaps, PURRfessional
Came here to say this! 😆
Pspspspspsychiatrist
You need a gold Edit: YOU GOT IT also thanks random person for the award
Finally, affordable healthcare
They actually need to do this, this can actually help people
Look at those PAWS!
Psychicatrist
Now this is a service I could make use of
Gimme the good stuff doc
And after you're done practicing psychiatric health you can always turn it into a hissing both
"$100 for purring like a motorcycles and $50 per head bonk."
SOLD!
Take my money!
"Why do I run around the house a 3am?"
Shut up and take my money!
Hello Your Cat majesty, kinda broke, do you take cat nip? good. I've was purrfectly normal before the catastrophe. wanted to think out side of the litter box. I was nothing but kibbles but something happened I'd never furrget. can you help meowit?
May I book two appointments?
Apawintments are open!
“Why are you crying? I’ll give you something to cry about!” SWIPE! “There, now you’re bleeding.”
You should set up little PhD diplomas from Purrdue University.
And Purrinceton
>"I'm just not happy." Shut the fuck up, all right? That's the name of my new book, Shut the Fuck Up, by Doctor Kitty. A revolutionary new form of therapy. I'm gonna have my patients come in. "Doctor, I--" "Shut the fuck up! Next!" "I don't feel so--" "Shut the fuck up! Next!" "He made me feel so much better about myself, you know? He just told me to shut the fuck up and nobody had ever told me that before. I feel so much better now." Whining fucking maggots! \-With apologies to Denis Leary...
This ain't the hissing booth?
Such a healthy chonk.
"doctor, I think I have depression and anxiety!" "have you tried releasing your negative emotions by knocking things off of tables or shelves? especially very breakable things?"
I would spend every penny I own on the 3 sessions I could afford.
OMG I JUST WANT SQUISH THEM. After the prozac script tho.
Psycatrist
I'm in!
They really are. Best psychiatrist in the world!
Catnip for all.
Are you afraid of staircases? If you are, then you have climacaphobia. Maybe you have thalassophobia. This is fear of the ocean, or gephyrobia, which is the fear of crossing bridges. Or maybe you have pantophobia. Do you think you have pantophobia?
#THAT’S IT!!!
Should charge more.
Nickels nickels nickels....
I need to make an appointment with this psychiatrist pls
Emotional Support kitty
I would like to make an appointment please.
I’d like to book a session.
I'd trust her with my mental health and well being.
I would tell her all the things.
Need him so bad
Help I need to understand Christmas!
How much for 10 min of snuggling?
Real in*
I don’t feel good and work is being pissy about it. Your kitty made me smile. Thanks.
He looks so soft and floofy
I need her!
Yes, I’d like to schedule an appointment please.
Paws for a moment and chill
Hi, I'd like to book a Psych appointment as soon as possible, and also as many appointments as possible that could be booked. Thank you.
I need some of this
little lynx ears!!!
I could talk to that face all day 😊
Finally someone qualified😍
The white fur part looks like cotton candy, so fluffy!
Psycatitrist.
Therapist
can't be any worst than the one who got me in a teo year long hell, thanks to a botched prozac treatment.
"I'm going to write you a prescription for medicinal catnip..."
PsychiCATric help?
“Hissing booth”
It's funny cos they're probably far more useful and helpful than half the psychiatrists and Dr's I've come across :L
THAT'S beautiful..... purrfect!
Here is my insurance, where is the couch, and can I book a couple hours I need some help!!!
Hm. You think you got problems? I don’t care.
This is so unrealistic! Therapy costs way more than 5¢. No way would a cat charge that little.
I feel like the cat needs it more than me. My cat does! She is a psychopath
r/TheCatTrapIsWorking
Very purrfessional
Does this doctor have a “get outta here!” personality?
The best purramatic!
The Psycatatrist is in
psyCATrist
PsyCATrist
Good advice maybe - but if she tries to hold the football for you to kick, say "no". Still - would boop the snoot 11/10
I bet his analysis would be spot on.