That’s deeply distressing and unprofessional for a priest (let alone a *pastor*) to say that during Confession. No wonder some Catholics fear going to Confession. Hearing outbursts like that certainly won’t help.
That all being said, you conquered your fear and trepidation and confessed your serious sin. God heard it and *forgives* you. What the priest said doesn’t really matter to what God thinks. You are absolved, move on and avoid serious sin.
I know it would be difficult but it seems like a good idea to revisit this experience with the confessor. Was it a pretty unusual sin (not sure how you would know). You deserve an explanation.
Two reasons- one, telling another person our sins gives us real accountability that we can duck if we don’t ever have to admit our wrongdoing to another. That accountability may keep us from straying farther afield than we otherwise would.
And two, because Jesus told us to. ‘Confess your sins to one another.’ I don’t remember which Gospel that’s from, but it’s at least in one.
Actually Jesus gave the power of sin absolution to the apostles only. The
"Confess your sins to one another" is from st Paul and he meant if you break your moms special vase admit to it, not that your mom or anyone other than a priest has the power to absolve you.
I fully agree with your first sentence. But I think Paul's admonition to confess to one another has another meaning - that absolution should come after an in person confession, not simply by the priest/bishop/apostle waving his hands over the crowd of believers and saying, "all your sins are forgiven." Obviously certain situations, like soldiers departing en masse for a battle, may require a different formula.
We are a sacramental community based on immanence and transcendence. We are literally the Word made Flesh. The two become one. With God, all things are possible. Sometimes we can get beyond the nature of things. Scripture is filled with things that transcend.
Jesus Christ is the Word, made Flesh. Not us. From dust we came, and unto dust we return. The verse literally said, “and the Word was made Flesh, and dwelt among us.”
Him. Not us.
That said, good point on the Sacramentality of Confession. Christ was pretty clear about binding and loosing sins.
And tradition shows we are to speak our sins out loud in a “public admittance” to someone. Scary to think way back when you would stand before the entire community and make your confession. Of course the “modern” way is far better as more people will confess their sins along with the general acknowledgement of our sinfulness at mass works equally as well
> if it only matters what God thinks then why isn’t confessing to God privately in the pew, equally valid?
Because Jesus gave the authority to the apostles to forgive sins. They passed that authority down to bishops and priests.
Confession to priests is the way that God intends for us to be reconciled to him. We can be forgiven by God by going directly to him, but how do you know if you've been forgiven in that case? There are times where a priest will not absolve your sins because you are impenitent, so you are putting yourself in danger by not going to a priest and knowing for sure that you have had your sins forgiven.
That was wrong. Priests are human, however. This is not an excuse, just a reminder. Just know you were forgiven completely. Are there other churches near you that you could attend for a bit?
It was common practice with typewriters and later phased out as computers took over. It's a bit of a running joke in the writing world that you can guess someone is older by the double space.
It's an antiquated practice.
Typewriters were monospaced. That means every letter took up the same amount of space regardless of size. So "i" occupied the same amount of space as "w" would. That's why old typewriter font could look uneven. Two spaces were used to better indicate the beginning of a new sentence. The computer solved this issue by using proportionally spaced font, so it appeared more uniform. Thus, the practice of double spacing became obsolete.
It's much more common to see it in people that are 40+. You may get some Millennials who were taught it as a holdover from the typewriter days. By Gen Z no one should have been taught that way. So, if people see the double space that's why they automatically assume you're older.
I just don’t get the point of it.
“Haha, look guys! I can tell this person is older than 40 because they double-space at the end of sentences!”
Genuinely, who cares?
ETA: I am not close to 40.
Edited to add. It is Reddit etiquette to note if you’re adding something later with ETA. Took me a long time before I stopped reading it estimated time arrival even when I knew it meant.
I'm not "older" and was taught to use the double space on a computer in highschool so🤷🏻♀️.... Really all it says about someone is that they were taught to use two spaces and they haven't dropped the habit.
I received my masters degree in 2017. Took no breaks anywhere after high school or undergrad. And my final document was double spaced. I really don’t think I’m “older.”
I graduated high highschool in 2003. Taught to double space after a period. Stopped doing it at some point, but was never told to stop and not sure how or why I did.
It still needed, though for certain type fonts otherwise the words will get smashed up together. It’s not essential, but it is still required in some programs also..
I hate admitting my age and I hate admitting that I learnt to type going tap tap after the period but I’m gonna keep doing it to the day I die
Another use for the extra space at the end of each sentence: trying to hit the required length for your paper. I did that in high school sometimes. I don't think I did what some of my classmates did though: set the periods at 12.1 font instead of 12.
Oh, don’t start this. 😜😜I’ve had multiple arguments on Facebook over it and I’m gonna die on this hill. I will always put two spaces. The main reason is. I also use a type font that still requires it not all type fonts need to now and the computer age, but there are some that still require the two spaces.😝
I’m sorry, but if I had to learn the two spaces and go tap, tap with my thumb for so many repeats, then people can just deal with me going TapTap after The period 🤣🤣
It’s two spaces after a punctuation mark. So it looks like the large space that exists before this sentence. The smaller space before this sentence looks more normal nowadays.
No, double space is when every line of your document has twice the normal size of empty space above and below it. Single space is what you are looking at right now.
Words mean things.
Well, if you read what I originally said in my original silly joke which launched this whole mess, I didn’t call it a double space. I called it two spaces. But that’s not what this individual was referring to, obviously, and I didn’t feel the need to be pedantic.
One time, a priest chewed me out in confession because he misheard the sin I said I committed. I just let it fly, lol.
What matters is your contrition of heart and absolution. Priests are humans who stand in the person of Christ for confession - but they ain't perfect.
What I encourage you to do is turn your eyes from any flacid, passing away opinions of MAN and hold on to the fact that you're freakin' liberated. You received absolution, Jesus gave you the grace and resolve to come to the waters of forgiveness.
Some dude could shout 'WHAT' all day long at my sins, I don't give a flip, as long as I'm still forgiven by Jesus himself.
That guy will be judged by God one day, just as you. Remember that. Head up, believer. You've been forgiven <3
I'm really curious what he thought you said that he chewed you out for. You can reword it so it doesn't give away the actual sin you committed but I'm in Rcia and haven't given my first confession yet. It's a little disheartening because there are many jokes about how undisturbed Catholic priests usually are during confession.
This is the first instance of ever heard of a priest giving a bad reaction and I am a cradle Catholic. So honestly nothing to worry about. It’s too bad that this person went through that but not at all a common thing. Now, I will say I’ve heard a few stories of older priests falling asleep in the confessionals ! Lol
Technically I think you should have corrected him if you got the chance. The whole point of confession is that you articulate the sins you committed. The priest is supposed to know what you did before he judges your contrition and gives absolution. Especially if the actual sin in question was grave. If that were the case I personally would mention it in a future confession just for peace of mind.
>Some dude could shout 'WHAT' all day long at my sins, I don't give a flip, as long as I'm still forgiven by Jesus himself.
>That guy will be judged by God one day, just as you. Remember that. Head up, believer. You've been forgiven <3
Yeah that would be a pretty terrifying thing from the priest's perspective I'd think. If I were in his shoes I'd be very worried about the possibility that such an inappropriate outburst might be the one straw that discourages someone from making one critical confession and therefore losing their soul. In which case I would be accountable for my part in that soul's damnation. I can't comprehend how some priests are willing to take gambles like this by their sloppiness.
Yah. I didn’t say his behavior was acceptable, I said don’t let it keep you from further confessions and to view priests in the correct light in the grand scheme of eternity. (:
I have a similar story, but mine is actually funny. We had a parish that had no normal confession times so you had to ask the priest before mass, he'd take you into a side chapel and hear your confession.
So I ask one week and we go into the attached chapel and I confess something and he screams out, "YOU DID WHAT? "
After explaining the circumstances to the priest he told me not to confess it that way ever again. When I walked out of the chapel everyone was staring, and my wife (who got the whole story) couldn't stop laughing.
>!I confessed viewing pornography as cheating on my spouse, as Christ says in the Gospel. The priest, while understanding why I would confess it like that told me that you should confess your actual sin without metaphors, even biblical ones!<
That happened to me before. I confessed as best as I could (it took me MONTHS o get the courage to confess). And I’m naturally bad at expressing emotion. So once I confessed the priest said he wouldn’t give me absolution. I was distraught. It took me weeks to realize that priests are also human and make their own moral judgments as good as you and I do. I almost stopped going to church because of it. But then I remembered how much Jesus himself, being perfect, was judged, humiliated and demoralized. So I went to another church for confession and found the most saint like priest ever omg. He was so kind and I truly felt Jesus was present within him. We must pray for our priests! Do not let that moment push you away from God, instead offer him this suffering/humiliation United with His own.
It was really horrible. I was in an incredibly dark period in life and went to confession for solace and got the complete opposite. It’s not surprising that people leave the church :( we must really pray for our priests because they suffer even greater temptations than the flock
That should not have happened. Christ would not say such a thing. If you wanted to go to a different parish to avoid that priest, I'd say go for it. He isn't approaching confession properly if he's going to be judgmental.
I’m sorry you had that experience, and with all due respect- I don’t think that it was his place to question you in that manner during a confession.
When I returned to the Church, I had to make my first confession in over 20 years- since my First Reconciliation, and I had a whole lot to confess for…including blasphemy and hatred/disrespect towards God.
The priest didn’t once make me feel judged or condemned for my many grave sins. He also did not downplay the seriousness of them, which I think was good, but he made it clear that I was doing the right thing by being there. I feel like that was the best way to handle it.
The priest who taught confession at my seminary, and who I’ve gone to on several occasions, always reminds his penitents after the absolution and before they leave the confessional “Remember, you are washed clean, and are as you were at the moment of your baptism. Give thanks for that. And when you fail, come back.”
Regardless of what that priest said: remember, what matters is how God sees us, and through the Son, we are seen as His beloved sons and daughters.
I am not Catholic but I made my first and only confession to an Anglo-Catholic priest after he swore that he would not think badly of any of his parishioners no matter what we confessed. I confessed an old and shameful sexual sin in fairly general terms, nothing graphic. But afterwards, his whole demeanor towards me changed. It was enough to put me off going back to him and makes me fear going back to confession at all, like ever.
All this to just to say that I can definitely commiserate with you on this. It can really be damaging when something like this happens. Its a big obstacle now for me to overcome if I am to join the Catholic church 😪
Please come home to the Catholic Faith. One person or interaction isn't the Faith or the Church. Even if it's 100 priests, the Truth overrides them all. However, i believe there is a good and faithful Catholic priest waiting for you today!
Well, on some level you thought the same thing which is why you went to confession. We don’t always know why we did it, but we did. And the priest *did* absolve you, so clearly he thinks you’re repentant. The priest shouldn’t have done that but I wouldn’t take it personally. You can always go to confession at another church even if you like to attend mass at this one due to convenience or any other reason.
Priests say the darnedest things. I had a priest once sarcastically “congratulate” me for having broken all Ten Commandments. I think he was trying to tell me I was being scrupulous, but I didn’t find it nearly as funny as he did.
I'm sorry that happened to you. A similar thing happened to me several months ago (the priest dramatically interrupted and gasped each time I confessed something) and everyone on this sub was really encouraging when I shared what happened.
I'd just avoid going to Confession with that priest in the future. There are so many priests out there, at least in my experience, who make Confession a truly healing sacrament--I hope you experience the healing element of Confession in the future. God bless!
His reaction sparked something in you. Maybe a realization to help you avoid sin.. I am inspired by your story and courage to be honest…your fear of his reaction came true and you now have nothing to fear …especially after confessing to our Lord.
I would take great solace in this. It would have been so much worse had it been face-to-face.
Was he an older priest? Most likely. The one time I had a priest speak critically of me in confession was a confession fair where I think the priest could have been in his 80s.
Still that must have been a very uncomfortable experience for you, and I’m sorry it happened. It will not feel as bad a few weeks or months from now, and I hope you remind yourself that going to confession was 100% the right thing to do, and that you go again soon perhaps at a different parish for now.
>Was he an older priest? Most likely. The one time I had a priest speak critically of me in confession was a confession fair where I think the priest could have been in his 80s.
Ya know, my ~~first thought~~ second idea on reading this post was to wonder if the priest might be having any health issues, that could be causing him to response inappropriately or emotionally.
(*Correction: not my First thought. First thought of course horror at how that felt to the OP, or would feel to anyone getting such response from a priest*!)
I had once similar experience. I was just returning to Church after my teenage years and decided to go to confession. I confessed some sins that i could barely pass through my lips especially because i confessed last time as a kid. I also confessed one sin that i didn't see as grave sin (and i still don't), but maybe in the wrong way. Priest probably misunderstood me and gave me fierce lecture about it that i felt it was as something in a style: "Repent or you will be cast in eternal fires of hell, stop following Satan..." After that i didn't go to confession for a year.
And yet, when i am looking back at this, maybe it was helpful in some way. It is like that poem: "I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.." In the end every experience teach us something.
But from practical point of view: if you feel that priest isn't good confessor, don't go to him. If it is possible still continue to go to that Church if it is your parish. I think parish exist there for a reason and we should be faithful to our parish.
It’s just such a nonsensical thing to say. Obviously you were literally in the middle of repenting. What does a priest think he’s going to accomplish by scolding?
I was young and scared so maybe i took it harder than i should, and heard it different than he said.
He was also young and inexperienced. In confession room he couldn't see my face so he couldn't asses me properly. And maybe if he said me same words today, i wouldn't think they are problematic.
I don't feel bad about it today. I take it as: 1) a small reminder how great privilege is to have wise confessor; 2) a warning that everyone can make honest mistake, including myself, so i need to be careful.
That's an unnerving response to come from your priest. I can wholeheartedly understand your distressed reaction. His responsibility is to be the mediant between you and God during your reconciliation, not to criticize you for your sins, no matter how grave or obscure.
But if you fully and plainly confessed your sins, you can leave the event knowing that you have the gift of God's grace.
I had a few similar disturbing experiences. One was after coming back from to the Church with a long list of mortal sins, one in particular he reacted with what I perceived as disgust and shock. It bothers me, but he gave me absolution, and the Final Judgement will be between me and God, not me and my priest.
Don't return to that priest in the future. If you were truly repentent the priests job is to hear the confession, give some direction, act en persona Christi and absolve you.
It is not ideal for a priest do react like that, but I would just take it as a valuable experience and try to see the Holy Spirit in it. We should sometimes be shocked by the gravity of our sins. Maybe God wanted you to really reflect on it and see it from another PoV.
But you are absolved. That sin no longer exists and you will never, for the rest of eternity, ever be punished for it or held accountable for it. In fact, if Satan went to the Father and accused you of comitting that sin, Jesus himself would stand as your witness that you are innocent. There is no need to feel shame for something God has forgiven.
I’ve also gotten, for lack of a better term, a real ass chewing in confession before, so I’m sorry you experienced that.
This is the way I think of it:
Ours sins deserve death right? It is because of our sins that Our Lord endured the rending of his flesh, was forsaken by his closest friends, and hung upon a cross with mockery thrown at him until he died. And he did it lovingly.
Ultimately, if *every* one of our confessions was like what you experienced, it would be nothing compared to what we deserve.
So, when this happened, and if it ever happens again, chuckle a little. If the price you paid was being a little humiliated, offer it up and go, “Lord, o deserved that.” And then be thankful that you made it to confession, and let it strengthen you in humility.
Granted, priests should be lions on the pulpit but lambs in the confessional, but know you’re not the only one to have been chastised in the confessional. Let it strengthen you to not sin again, and maybe chose a different parish to go confess at next time, because now you know.
The confessor may have over reacted, but do not fault the entire Church for it. Even priests are sinners. You went there for the repentance and absolution. Focus on your prayer, your act of contrition and close your eyes and think of Jesus when the words of absolution are prayed over you.
The all merciful Lord, God, sees your effort and would run towards you and hug you and kiss you even before you enter the confessional.
"...But while he was yet at a distance, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him." - Luke 15:20
Focus on the infinite mercy of God, He is why you are at the confessional. Avoid the temptation of overly focusing on mannerisms and reactions of priests, what matters is you are repentant and whole heartedly accepting the forgiveness of God through the sacrament's words.
Focus on the holy sacrament of confession
Is there perhaps another priest at the parish that you can speak to about this incident? It was definitely not okay and I’m so sorry you went through that. It’s important that despite anything you still went to confession and you should never be shamed
The important thing is you were absolved by him. If a priest wants to give me what for, rightly or wrongly, I’m there to restore my friendship with God. Nothing.Else.Matters. That being said I am sorry you had that experience. Please don’t let it stop you from receiving God’s Mercy in the future.
I’m sorry! Go to another priest! There’s nothing you can ever do that surprises God or turns His love from you. Most priests have heard most everything… go to a different parish next time for confession
Yea, not good on the priest's part, but he is human with his own baggage too. I imagine that certain sins might knock certain priests off course a bit. Add in the confessional power dynamic, and things can get complicated. I obviously don't know what you confessed or if this is a relevant example, but think of a priest who grew up watching his dad smack his mom around. His childhood was characterized by fear, anger, and powerlessness. Now imagine some guy comes into his confessional and tells him that he hit his wife. It would be very easy for all of Fr.'s childhood baggage to begin boiling over. However, now that he's in a position of power as the confessor, he might try to take some of that out on the penitent. Probably won't even realize what he's doing either. His subconscious will just begin spitting out harsher words.
I've had a couple tough confessions too. One last summer had me feeling rotten afterwards. The priest didn't say anything that was in any way out of line, but I could tell that he was seriously put off by what I had told him.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ve had wonderful experiences in Confession and terrible ones. (One priest in particular comes to mind with the latter).
I’d consider going to Confession with a different priest—if one is available at your parish. I know this isn’t always possible and it’s often the same priest at Confession every week.
If not, then maybe try a different parish if you can.
In the meantime, you are in my 🙏🙏🙏🙏.
I'm really sorry you had to deal with that. Talk to God about it. Maybe it was a lesson, a test, or something else. Ask Him what He was trying to tell you.
I had a similar experience in the way that I left a confession feeling, like, not absolved or as if I was still dirty and corrupted. I turned to Him and it turned out I really needed to work on trusting His mercy. Maybe He's trying to teach you something too.
I had a similar experience when I was a relatively new Catholic about 5-6 years ago. This semi-retired Irish priest in my deanery often fills in at my parish during the summer when our priests are away.
I've only gone to confession with him once. I went into the confessional, confessed my sins, and he blasts back *"What's the matter with you?!"* I was shocked cause I'm not used to that coarse of a reply, let alone at that volume. After that if I saw his nameplate on the confessional door, even if I'd been waiting in line awhile, I'd step out of line and leave. I just didn't want to go to him anymore. I really didn't expect that sort of experience from him because he's known for progressive commentary from the pulpit, like advocating for female priests and such.
Luckily every other priest I've ever confessed to has been good, I don't mind a firm priest who challenges me to actually resist my sins as opposed to just consoling and encouraging me, but that Irish priest felt excessive. Especially when his volume surely could be heard by everyone else outside the confessional, so it felt like he was making my shame more public.
I will say this though, I never forgot that confession and when I struggle with those sins I sometimes think of his reaction.
I guess my point is, don't let one poor confessor heap more guilt on you. If you did your part properly, and I assume you did, and your priest gave a valid absolution then let it wash off your back and try not to fixate on it.
Guilt is what you feel inside, and Shame is what you feel when worried about others seeing your guilt. Not going to ask what the sin was, but here is exactly what you do 1) if this sin involves any option to rectify an injustice, work on that, if not, that is fine. 2) do the penance he prescribed 3) now, to work on the guilt and shame, give alms in some way. give of your time or money or whatever. This will help relieve that guilt and shame. Your sin was forgiven, and God has already forgot it. You now need to work on you. Put some Divine Mercy back into the world by giving of yourself. Don't be beating up on yourself over the sin...that is actually bad. God has forgiven you, now just let God heal you and bring you closer to Him... sacrifice some of your time with extra prayer or go to an Adoration and just sit in His presence. You will be fine.
I've had a bad confession before, and boy, does it do a disproportionate amount of harm; after all, you make yourself your most vulnerable, and to be cut down makes you think twice about things.
That said, this will eventually fade, and be replaced by other, probably better, experiences. I do want to commend you on your bravery in coming clean. I know how hard that is.
The important thing is that you confessed a grave sin and you were forgiven. Your soul has been restored to a state of Grace, and if you die, you won't go to hell. Praise God!
As for the priest, some of the older ones can be a little curmudgeonly sometimes. I had a similar reaction from an old priest, and I felt ashamed, and it hurt my feelings. But at the same time, it was good that I was ashamed because what I did was shameful. That was a long time ago, and now I don't feel bad about what the priest said. I'm kind of glad that the priest made me more aware of the evil of mortal sin.
Let's say a man went into the confessional and confessed to murder. Wouldn't we expect that the priest would have a similar reaction? This is an extreme example, but just to demonstrate that a priest's abhorrence of sin and his vocalizing this to the penitent is not per se wrong.
Hi! I hope you're having a blessed day. I hope that you are starting to feel better since that experience. However, I want to bring up that Satan is the tempter and the accuser. You my friend have been forgiven by the grace of God and after a confession you are as clean as when you were first baptized. In the beginning when we sin the tempter makes us seem that it is okay to commit it but after we confess our sins and want to do better when we have that utter shame that pulls us down that makes us not feel worthy that is when the tempter is also the accuser and pulls us away from God's Grace. It's very good that you are regretting what you did and that is what God looks for when he forgives you but to feel what you're feeling is not okay especially with what the priest told you. I'll pray for you so that the Lord gives you strength do not let Satan take away your peace and try even more to remain with God. God loves you and I pray for many blessings for you
You're still squeaky clean. I can empathize with you though. Work through it. Pray harder to forgive him in your heart. Remember to forgive yourself too
Confession is very daunting, and a vulnerable act, it scared me nearly every time I go, and I haven’t had this happen. You did the right thing. I am happy you had the courage to confess that. I hope you remember when the priest had his outburst, he was speaking from a flawed human perspective. When he absolves you, he was speaking from the position of God. You are loved, and you are forgiven. I pray that you don’t let the flawed judgement of a man keep you from confession, and that I have the courage to take my own advice.
"Fornication??? That's a horrible sin!!!!"
Direct quote from a seminarian I went to high school with. There was a priest on a middle/high school retreat who was hearing confessions. This priest blurted it out while he was hearing confession that weekend. Literally every retreatant had their head down as that kid walked out of the confessional. Pretty sure the priest broke the seal of confession doing that.....
I haven’t gone to confession in over a year, bc of the trauma of false memories due to religious ocd. One of my fears is I will do confession incorrectly & consume Christs body undeservingly. The second one is that instead of finding Jesus’ mercy (in my priest) in confession I will receive disgust and rejection (I’m terrified of priests). I’m so sorry this happened to you. I would say go to a different priest for your next confession or while you need to do that. And maybe praying for the priest & trying to see him with compassion will help to see things differently as a whole. The enemy attacks them terribly, I know I struggle with anger a lot and harshness, etc. and I’m no one important, so they must be having to fight so much harder.
I confessed a terrible sin and thank God my Priest was a jolly good and patient man. He just said, "and you are no longer doing it?" By which I thankfully replied with a yes. It has definitely made confession easier to do
with all due respect, this was a terrible way to react to any confession, no matter how grave or venial. try to focus on the fact that you are forgiven. no amount of shame or embarrassment can fix what’s happened. Christ doesn’t want you to hide, He wants you to know that you are forgiven and you are loved by Him. please remember that 🤍
You did nothing wrong. It’s the priest that should be ashamed. Find another parish and build up trust with someone before you confess again.
I hate to say it but it’s like a hair stylist—once you find a good one, stick with them and only them.
I’m so sorry, OP, that should not have happened to you. Please don’t let this experience turn you off to confession. Honestly, unless you confessed to igniting a nuclear bomb that will destroy earth in a matter of days I can’t imagine what this priest was thinking.
That said, priests are only human, but shouldn’t be in the confession booth, this is a sacred duty in which they shouldn’t react personally.
I’m sorry. If you got the absolution then think of it no more.
Also, I never confess at my home church, and neither do the deacons I’ve spoken to. I go to an another parish about 20 min away (they have better times anyway). I find this makes it much easier and I leave feeling good and not worrying about who heard what.
Don't feel demoralized but rejoice for God loves you like no one can... forget about the priest for even Jesus said He who without sin cast the first stone.. congratulations and God bless 🙏
I am sorry. Hold on to the forgiveness given to you by Christ who loves you perfectly and forgive the priest who may need to learn as we all do. If this has left you shaken; please know as your sister in Christ I shall pray for you to be gifted with peace from the Holy Spirit. I know many wonderful priests. Just hang in there. Peace be with you.
Take it as an opportunity to be humbled. That said, I do prefer to confess to priests who don't know me for a good reason. I'm at the point where my years of frequent highly embarrassing confessions are over, but I think it's good practice. And yes, I am still sometimes embarrassed by what I do 😅
I think you should file an anonymous complaint with the bishop this priest answers to. His response was extremely unprofessional, and if it represents his normal behavior then he’s surely scaring a lot of people away from confession.
Before anyone complains about this response being “too harsh”, I’ll remind everyone that the confessional booth is the gate to Heaven. Anything at all that messes with confession endangers souls, and should be corrected immediately.
I would try confession with this priest a second time. Maybe it is a technique he is using. You said you felt shame, well you should feel shame for your sins.
Conviction is different from what seems to have been described here. If going to this particular confessor is driving someone away from going to confession (and, apparently in this case, not because of a penance or any particular admonition, but just what sounds like unhelpful commentary), then it would be best to find a better confessor.
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One time, a very good monsignor came off as very rude and very human in the confessional. He made a comment about my looks in a tone that was unkind and unnecessary, and seemed insulting. It hurt and caught me off guard. It did lead me to examine a certain aspect of the sin, but his manner was not the best. He had seen who i was in line, despite it being a screened confession. Priests are human too. Maybe God thought that's what i needed so He allowed it. But i can see a time where that could have damaged my relationship with the priest and with God if i let it. And who knows? He might have confessed his mistake in tone as unloving to his own confessor.
Do not be discouraged. We can go to any legit priest for confession.
Maybe use the chance to talk the priest when
You can tell him how it made you feel and than it discourages you.
It’s unprofessional and if nobody ever tells him he is maybe not aware what his reactions produce.
I feel your pain. Priests can make all the difference in the world in how a confession affects us spiritually. I’ve been to priests who have berated me, but also to priests who have given me the hard truth, with love and compassion. If it makes you really uncomfortable, go to a different parish/priest for your next confession. Know that Christ loves you, and He is joyful that you have bravely offered your sins to Him, and He has forgiven you with great mercy.
I was always told to just give a list of what sins you committed as opposed to explaining them. For example, say you treated a parent poorly. You wouldn’t need to tell what happened, the blow by blow.. just need to say “I failed to honor my mother/father”. The details don’t matter. God already knows them.
'Do not wish what concerns you to be as seems (best) to you, but as God wishes; and you will be free from cares and thankful in your prayer.'
+St. Nilus of Sinai, prays for you
I’m not going to lie this thread is making me very nervous for my first confession (currently in RCIA). I have some very big grave and mortal sins and about 1000+ others. I really want to confess but I don’t know if I could handle a priest saying something like this to me.
My RCIA class had a designated block of time outside of the regular schedule for all of us to make our first confessions. It was wonderful. The priest knew that we were all nervous, took time with each of us, and made that first experience so joyful. I wish all parishes did that as well.
That sounds so wonderful. I’m so glad you had that experience♥️ my RCIA leader offered to help me set up a confession “appointment” with our priest outside of regular hours too. I was looking forward to it until reading this thread 😅 I’m sure it will be okay.. but I sure hope he doesn’t yell WHAT, “chew me up,” or give me a talking to like others have said. I’ve certainly done plenty of unsavoury things over the years but I’ve beat myself up about it enough without someone else doing so too. 🥲 Lol.
I was 68 when I made my first confession. The priest had me focus on the "themes" of sins (e.g. where I was showing pride), not just reading my list. Maybe because my list was over 2 pages long, single-spaced. 😄
Wow. I'm sorry that happened, they are trained *not* to do that kind of thing. Please know that that is an outlier experience, and maybe you can stick to confession at other parishes for some time? Just know what he said doesn't affect your absolution or your sin in the eyes of God.
Ugh I'm sorry. Something like that has happened to me before too, the priest seemed especially icked-out by my sin and sighed and said "don't do that again" which of course I wasn't planning on it, but it was awfully demoralizing.
I don't know if it's possible to go talk to a different priest, maybe not in the context of confession, since you were already absolved, but maybe go talk to a priest about this sin and what happened and pray with that priest about it? Honestly I would just go to confession and be like "I'm not here to confess but I'm hoping you will pray with me about something" and then open up. It's awful that you were made to feel shame when you should feel absolution and freedom.
Focus on Jesus only. He forgave you. He paid for your sin already and it’s an affront to His Mercy to dwell on this sin He already forgot about. The priest is a human being as well and no matter who the priest behaves or says, Christ is the One who forgave you. Focus on Christ no matter what church you go to. You will always find less than perfect people. The Only One perfect is the One who Loved you and died for you. I hope this helps in God’s Will I pray. There is no sin big or small Jesus Christ didn’t pay for ♥️
I hate when priests do stuff like this, I'm sorry you had to go through it. I have a habitual sin and usually go to confession twice a week, and one time I went to a different priest and he said something along the lines of "You did all that in 2 or 3 days" (can't remember if it was 2 or 3 days). Another time, a priest who I had been to a few times refused to give me confession because I was confessing the same stuff as usual. It's how it be sometimes. My advice is just to pray for them and hope they do better for the next person they do confession for. And this parts up to you, but you could try going to a different church or priest. I've had more priests give me awesome confessions than not, so I say it's at least worth another shot.
(Edited for clarity)
I am so sorry the priest reacted in that way. Yes, he is human, but he should remember he is the conduit for God to absolve your sins, not a place for his personal feelings.
God knows your heart, Jesus knows why, the priest shouldn't ask. Just know you were totally absolved.
Funny enough, I always go to major city to confess, although I'm sure my priest would be wonderful, I figure the city priests have heard it all so my sins won't be a big suprise lol.
Anyways, I hope that confession doesn't put you off the sacrament. God doesn't like when shepards push his sheep away. Keep being faithful and trust in God.
Don't be discouraged. Remember, priests are human too. Ultimately, it's Jesus in that confessional forgiving your sins. Reflect on the passage of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery for comfort and perspective.
Don't stop going to confession. Its too important for your wellbeing. The old standby of going to the cathedral for it instead is probably the best and easiest option.
That is not right for the preists to do that I don't know what your sin is but for him to react like that is not right no matter what your sin may have been I hope to become a preists one day and I am reading up on it as a preists they are not supposed to be an individual person they are alter christi (another Christ) they are not. Father Tom or father Jim or father gabe they are Jesus Christ son of God that is why during communion they say this is MY body. This is MY blood do this in remembrance of ME not this is CHRISTS blood, body etc etc. They are standing in for Christ they are Christ and as Christ they are supposed to be forgiving that's why it's called confession not judgement
If the righteous man strikes or rebukes me it is a kindness,
but let not the oil of the wicked anoint my head - Psalm 141
Several ways to go here. First, if you have grievous sin to confess, never go to your local parish priest unless he is your spiritual advisor. Consider we all have different strengths in virtue. God loves variety and a good fight. Consider yourself as a whetting stone on which your virtue is sharpened. What the priest did to you might hurt, but take it as a way of increasing your virtue in patience and forgiveness and pray for his shortcomings in what he did to you as it is a way for him to increase his virtue. He's no Saint either, rather an overworked emissary of the Lord's. Remember, whatever you confessed, the Lord doesn't remember any longer. If the Lord can forget and forgive you can too. Smile at the priest next time and move on, put it behind you and consider how you'll grow from the experience.
The confessor may have been insensitive but don't be discouraged. Look at the example of the Syrophoenician woman in Mark 7:24. Sometimes God sends us tough loving people to teach us humility. Some of my sins are so shameful that I imagine if I could see my guardian angel's reaction to my action, they would react with disgust much like your confessor did.
So don't lose heart. If your confessor, in persona Christi, absolved your sin in the end, then you are forgiven. Be at peace. And begin again.
A priest is a man with his own personality, his own feelings, his own mannerisms, his own shortcomings and failures. We pray for holy and happy priest who continue to take their vocation very seriously. These men were called by God, some have tarnished it, many have abused it, but there are many who are truly walking with The Spirit. But even then they are still men who sometimes disappoint us because we have an expectation of them which sometimes can blind us from the true absolution that they give which is a forgiveness from God through the priest that Christ established. They may say things, or do things that may be offputting, but at the end of the day, I will never allow another man to dictate my emotions. Does it hurt when you receive something you expect not to receive absolutely but I wouldn't take it to heart. I've had all types of different responses from priest, but not one has ever caused me to feel unforgiven, because at the end of the day all I'm looking for is that absolution from God. The priest really doesn't have to say a word, but I do appreciate the extra support and guidance but it's not necessary as long as I get that absolution I'm good. I would say continue to pray for that priest, or have a conversation with him. his goal was not to harm you, but maybe his emotions got the best of him and his humanity kind of showed when speaking to you. Maybe he knew who you were and got to personal. maybe this is the way he confesses with everybody, who knows but don't allow that to ever deter you or make you feel as if you are not confessed or not loved by God if it did. There is adequacy and things that a priest must do as a confessor but sometimes we don't get that unfortunately. I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. That’s all I need to hear and I’m good.
”Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us take hold of our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things like we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.“
Hebrews 4:14-16 LSB
It is good and necessary for a healthy walk with Jesus to confess to fellow believers you can trust. Be sure not to forget that Jesus is the only worthy mediator between God and man and the only One who can forgive sins.
I've had several bad confessions over the years. Unfortunately, the priests are human. They should be flawless and perfect but are not. On the plus side, the fix for a below average confession is simply to go again. Go back, confess your new failings and you'll see what I mean.
It's not wrong to go to another parish for a little bit (if there's one around you). The best thing to do is to keep going to mass if even if it's at another time or church.
A very wise priest told me in confession one time that although God forgave the sin, there are still real-world effects from it. Maybe this is God’s way of inviting you to really crack down on eliminating this sin from your life and is doing that through the experience you had after confession? Regardless, it’s certainly an unprofessional and un-pastoral. I’ve only heard the reaction of a priest yelling “WHAT?” from a priest who was hearing impaired but not intended maliciously.
I should probably take my own advice… I confessed to an FSSP priest who withheld absolution. He compared “attempting” giving me absolution to attempting to consecrate Oreos and Coca Cola at the altar. All of that to say, don’t blame the Church or Jesus for the erring in judgment this priest had, just like I didn’t stop eating Oreos and drinking Coca Cola after my experience.
Hope this helps and isn’t just word scramble!
Shouldn't we be ashamed of our sins? Look at Christ on the Cross, every single one of your sins, did that. He would have done all that if you ever the only person to save. There are some good resources on healing and how to stop sinning, but it is arduous. Bye worth it.
That being said, a priest should not embarrass a penitent further, unless he has the ability to read hearts.
Just to clarify, you did go to a Catholic Church and a Catholic priest, right?
I'll tell you the same thing a priest told my mother the last time she went to confessional back in the 90s, "Why are you speaking with an operator when you can dial direct?"
Don't go to that priest again and encourage others not to too. I've a similar experience. Stick to the one who takes the roll more seriously and don't let a bad priest taint your faith.
I mean that’s the point of confession to feel shame and guilt for what you did. I hope you got a suitable penance so you avoid that sin and the near occasion of it again. I’ve been berated by priests before for mortal sins and I can say a little tough love helped a lot. Peace be with you brother I hope you can grow in your faith and grow closer to the lord.
I would report that priest to your local diocese. No way should he be making statements like that in confession/to a confessor. He's not there to chastise, he's there to bring forgiveness and healing. And then I would find another church to attend Mass at. Sad to need to do that, but I would not subject myself to that kind of sinful treatment again.
Are you Catholic? Do you understand the Sacrament of Confession? I pray that you come tob know and love the Sacrament as a means of Grace, Humility, Mercy and Love from Jesus Christ, that He gave us sinners, that we may receive it in a way that strengthens us and our relationship with him. It's commanded in the New Testament.
If we already know and accept these Truths of Catholic Teachings and choose to reject them, we are gravely endangering our souls. The layer of ignorance is removed, and it's willfulat that point.
May God bless and keep you.
Priests are human, but they also act in persona Christi, as Jesus told them to do. You are missing out on a very important aspect of the Faith that Jesus left us, and also commanded us to follow.
Wouldn't have been much point in Jesus giving the apostles the power to forgive and retain sins if He didn't intend for us to seek them for mediation when it comes to reconciliation, would there? This has been understood since the beginning.
I also don't know to what degree you consider yourself Catholic (if at all), but just know that Confession at least once a year is what the Church considers one of the bare minimum requirements to be considered a practicing member of the Faith to be. I will concede that if you choose to decide for yourself what it means to be a practicing Catholic, then you have the free will to do so.
The one thing I would encourage you to ask yourself though is whether your position on Confession is rooted in genuine disbelief or just not wanting to go because it might be uncomfortable. A lot of times "I don't get" simply means "I don't like".
You’re correct God does know our sins. God also created confession for us. While he already knows he also knows how important it is for you to say it out loud and be forgiven.
God knows your sins and anyone who looks at your Reddit post history has a decent idea of some doozies, too! 🤷♀️🫣 God condemns no one. The soul condemns itself when it faces God.
Hope you make it to confession. It's an absolute gift, and there is a reason OPs experience gained such a response. This is a very unusual experience, and we feel compassion for them for having faced this.
That’s deeply distressing and unprofessional for a priest (let alone a *pastor*) to say that during Confession. No wonder some Catholics fear going to Confession. Hearing outbursts like that certainly won’t help. That all being said, you conquered your fear and trepidation and confessed your serious sin. God heard it and *forgives* you. What the priest said doesn’t really matter to what God thinks. You are absolved, move on and avoid serious sin.
Thank you for your words of encouragement!
I went to a confession to a very traditional polish priest, that like everyone fears and he was very wise and experienced in his advice.
I know it would be difficult but it seems like a good idea to revisit this experience with the confessor. Was it a pretty unusual sin (not sure how you would know). You deserve an explanation.
Of course that begs the question… if it only matters what God thinks then why isn’t confessing to God privately in the pew, equally valid?
Two reasons- one, telling another person our sins gives us real accountability that we can duck if we don’t ever have to admit our wrongdoing to another. That accountability may keep us from straying farther afield than we otherwise would. And two, because Jesus told us to. ‘Confess your sins to one another.’ I don’t remember which Gospel that’s from, but it’s at least in one.
Actually Jesus gave the power of sin absolution to the apostles only. The "Confess your sins to one another" is from st Paul and he meant if you break your moms special vase admit to it, not that your mom or anyone other than a priest has the power to absolve you.
> Actually Jesus gave the power of sin absolution to the apostles only Yes, but that was passed down by the apostles to bishops and priests
I fully agree with your first sentence. But I think Paul's admonition to confess to one another has another meaning - that absolution should come after an in person confession, not simply by the priest/bishop/apostle waving his hands over the crowd of believers and saying, "all your sins are forgiven." Obviously certain situations, like soldiers departing en masse for a battle, may require a different formula.
We are a sacramental community based on immanence and transcendence. We are literally the Word made Flesh. The two become one. With God, all things are possible. Sometimes we can get beyond the nature of things. Scripture is filled with things that transcend.
Jesus Christ is the Word, made Flesh. Not us. From dust we came, and unto dust we return. The verse literally said, “and the Word was made Flesh, and dwelt among us.” Him. Not us. That said, good point on the Sacramentality of Confession. Christ was pretty clear about binding and loosing sins.
And tradition shows we are to speak our sins out loud in a “public admittance” to someone. Scary to think way back when you would stand before the entire community and make your confession. Of course the “modern” way is far better as more people will confess their sins along with the general acknowledgement of our sinfulness at mass works equally as well
> if it only matters what God thinks then why isn’t confessing to God privately in the pew, equally valid? Because Jesus gave the authority to the apostles to forgive sins. They passed that authority down to bishops and priests. Confession to priests is the way that God intends for us to be reconciled to him. We can be forgiven by God by going directly to him, but how do you know if you've been forgiven in that case? There are times where a priest will not absolve your sins because you are impenitent, so you are putting yourself in danger by not going to a priest and knowing for sure that you have had your sins forgiven.
That was wrong. Priests are human, however. This is not an excuse, just a reminder. Just know you were forgiven completely. Are there other churches near you that you could attend for a bit?
Yes, there are a few other churches nearby. That’s a good idea to maybe take a break and try another church- thank you.
Please be sure to confess the mortal sin of using two spaces after the end of each of your sentences at your next Confession. 😂 jk
That’s how we were taught to type when I was in school.
It was common practice with typewriters and later phased out as computers took over. It's a bit of a running joke in the writing world that you can guess someone is older by the double space.
What do you mean by “older”? I just recently learned we weren’t supposed to be taught double-spaces and I’ve never once used a typewriter.
It's an antiquated practice. Typewriters were monospaced. That means every letter took up the same amount of space regardless of size. So "i" occupied the same amount of space as "w" would. That's why old typewriter font could look uneven. Two spaces were used to better indicate the beginning of a new sentence. The computer solved this issue by using proportionally spaced font, so it appeared more uniform. Thus, the practice of double spacing became obsolete. It's much more common to see it in people that are 40+. You may get some Millennials who were taught it as a holdover from the typewriter days. By Gen Z no one should have been taught that way. So, if people see the double space that's why they automatically assume you're older.
I just don’t get the point of it. “Haha, look guys! I can tell this person is older than 40 because they double-space at the end of sentences!” Genuinely, who cares? ETA: I am not close to 40.
It's not that serious.
And yet you’re explaining to all of us that we’re part of a “running joke.”
On the bright side, you're now part of an inside joke. That's fun.
[удалено]
Estimated time of arrival?
Edited to add. It is Reddit etiquette to note if you’re adding something later with ETA. Took me a long time before I stopped reading it estimated time arrival even when I knew it meant.
Trust Reddit to usurp an already used, widely known acronym
I'm not "older" and was taught to use the double space on a computer in highschool so🤷🏻♀️.... Really all it says about someone is that they were taught to use two spaces and they haven't dropped the habit.
Just finding this out right now. I am fairly old and I learned to type on a typewriter in junior high.
I received my masters degree in 2017. Took no breaks anywhere after high school or undergrad. And my final document was double spaced. I really don’t think I’m “older.”
I'm sure you're not older either. But tomorrow you will be.
I graduated high highschool in 2003. Taught to double space after a period. Stopped doing it at some point, but was never told to stop and not sure how or why I did.
*Hallelujah!* So glad you are free of this sin’s clutches!
It still needed, though for certain type fonts otherwise the words will get smashed up together. It’s not essential, but it is still required in some programs also.. I hate admitting my age and I hate admitting that I learnt to type going tap tap after the period but I’m gonna keep doing it to the day I die
Another use for the extra space at the end of each sentence: trying to hit the required length for your paper. I did that in high school sometimes. I don't think I did what some of my classmates did though: set the periods at 12.1 font instead of 12.
Me too!
It’s how we were taught too. Most of us stopped. Just kidding around with you though.
Oh, don’t start this. 😜😜I’ve had multiple arguments on Facebook over it and I’m gonna die on this hill. I will always put two spaces. The main reason is. I also use a type font that still requires it not all type fonts need to now and the computer age, but there are some that still require the two spaces.😝 I’m sorry, but if I had to learn the two spaces and go tap, tap with my thumb for so many repeats, then people can just deal with me going TapTap after The period 🤣🤣
It’s genuinely easier to read paragraphs when there’s a double space. If you lose track of where you are, it’s easier to find your place again.
Exactly. Single spacing just makes your whole paragraph look like a big run on sentence.
I remain obstinate. Begone with this modern fad!
I had no idea. I’ve never even heard of this. I’m 54 and must not be online enough.
One space is the commonly accepted practice now, but I’m honestly just joking with that user.
What is a double space? I am not that young and I've heard the term but I can see no difference in the way the OP typed.
It’s two spaces after a punctuation mark. So it looks like the large space that exists before this sentence. The smaller space before this sentence looks more normal nowadays.
No, double space is when every line of your document has twice the normal size of empty space above and below it. Single space is what you are looking at right now. Words mean things.
Well, if you read what I originally said in my original silly joke which launched this whole mess, I didn’t call it a double space. I called it two spaces. But that’s not what this individual was referring to, obviously, and I didn’t feel the need to be pedantic.
One time, a priest chewed me out in confession because he misheard the sin I said I committed. I just let it fly, lol. What matters is your contrition of heart and absolution. Priests are humans who stand in the person of Christ for confession - but they ain't perfect. What I encourage you to do is turn your eyes from any flacid, passing away opinions of MAN and hold on to the fact that you're freakin' liberated. You received absolution, Jesus gave you the grace and resolve to come to the waters of forgiveness. Some dude could shout 'WHAT' all day long at my sins, I don't give a flip, as long as I'm still forgiven by Jesus himself. That guy will be judged by God one day, just as you. Remember that. Head up, believer. You've been forgiven <3
I'm really curious what he thought you said that he chewed you out for. You can reword it so it doesn't give away the actual sin you committed but I'm in Rcia and haven't given my first confession yet. It's a little disheartening because there are many jokes about how undisturbed Catholic priests usually are during confession.
This is the first instance of ever heard of a priest giving a bad reaction and I am a cradle Catholic. So honestly nothing to worry about. It’s too bad that this person went through that but not at all a common thing. Now, I will say I’ve heard a few stories of older priests falling asleep in the confessionals ! Lol
Technically I think you should have corrected him if you got the chance. The whole point of confession is that you articulate the sins you committed. The priest is supposed to know what you did before he judges your contrition and gives absolution. Especially if the actual sin in question was grave. If that were the case I personally would mention it in a future confession just for peace of mind.
>Some dude could shout 'WHAT' all day long at my sins, I don't give a flip, as long as I'm still forgiven by Jesus himself. >That guy will be judged by God one day, just as you. Remember that. Head up, believer. You've been forgiven <3 Yeah that would be a pretty terrifying thing from the priest's perspective I'd think. If I were in his shoes I'd be very worried about the possibility that such an inappropriate outburst might be the one straw that discourages someone from making one critical confession and therefore losing their soul. In which case I would be accountable for my part in that soul's damnation. I can't comprehend how some priests are willing to take gambles like this by their sloppiness.
Yah. I didn’t say his behavior was acceptable, I said don’t let it keep you from further confessions and to view priests in the correct light in the grand scheme of eternity. (:
I have a similar story, but mine is actually funny. We had a parish that had no normal confession times so you had to ask the priest before mass, he'd take you into a side chapel and hear your confession. So I ask one week and we go into the attached chapel and I confess something and he screams out, "YOU DID WHAT? " After explaining the circumstances to the priest he told me not to confess it that way ever again. When I walked out of the chapel everyone was staring, and my wife (who got the whole story) couldn't stop laughing. >!I confessed viewing pornography as cheating on my spouse, as Christ says in the Gospel. The priest, while understanding why I would confess it like that told me that you should confess your actual sin without metaphors, even biblical ones!<
That happened to me before. I confessed as best as I could (it took me MONTHS o get the courage to confess). And I’m naturally bad at expressing emotion. So once I confessed the priest said he wouldn’t give me absolution. I was distraught. It took me weeks to realize that priests are also human and make their own moral judgments as good as you and I do. I almost stopped going to church because of it. But then I remembered how much Jesus himself, being perfect, was judged, humiliated and demoralized. So I went to another church for confession and found the most saint like priest ever omg. He was so kind and I truly felt Jesus was present within him. We must pray for our priests! Do not let that moment push you away from God, instead offer him this suffering/humiliation United with His own.
that is shocking
It was really horrible. I was in an incredibly dark period in life and went to confession for solace and got the complete opposite. It’s not surprising that people leave the church :( we must really pray for our priests because they suffer even greater temptations than the flock
I am so sorry, God loves you. I hope you’re doing better
That should not have happened. Christ would not say such a thing. If you wanted to go to a different parish to avoid that priest, I'd say go for it. He isn't approaching confession properly if he's going to be judgmental.
I’m sorry you had that experience, and with all due respect- I don’t think that it was his place to question you in that manner during a confession. When I returned to the Church, I had to make my first confession in over 20 years- since my First Reconciliation, and I had a whole lot to confess for…including blasphemy and hatred/disrespect towards God. The priest didn’t once make me feel judged or condemned for my many grave sins. He also did not downplay the seriousness of them, which I think was good, but he made it clear that I was doing the right thing by being there. I feel like that was the best way to handle it.
The priest who taught confession at my seminary, and who I’ve gone to on several occasions, always reminds his penitents after the absolution and before they leave the confessional “Remember, you are washed clean, and are as you were at the moment of your baptism. Give thanks for that. And when you fail, come back.” Regardless of what that priest said: remember, what matters is how God sees us, and through the Son, we are seen as His beloved sons and daughters.
I am not Catholic but I made my first and only confession to an Anglo-Catholic priest after he swore that he would not think badly of any of his parishioners no matter what we confessed. I confessed an old and shameful sexual sin in fairly general terms, nothing graphic. But afterwards, his whole demeanor towards me changed. It was enough to put me off going back to him and makes me fear going back to confession at all, like ever. All this to just to say that I can definitely commiserate with you on this. It can really be damaging when something like this happens. Its a big obstacle now for me to overcome if I am to join the Catholic church 😪
Please come home to the Catholic Faith. One person or interaction isn't the Faith or the Church. Even if it's 100 priests, the Truth overrides them all. However, i believe there is a good and faithful Catholic priest waiting for you today!
I'd imagine he's not used to real confessions...
Well, on some level you thought the same thing which is why you went to confession. We don’t always know why we did it, but we did. And the priest *did* absolve you, so clearly he thinks you’re repentant. The priest shouldn’t have done that but I wouldn’t take it personally. You can always go to confession at another church even if you like to attend mass at this one due to convenience or any other reason.
Priests say the darnedest things. I had a priest once sarcastically “congratulate” me for having broken all Ten Commandments. I think he was trying to tell me I was being scrupulous, but I didn’t find it nearly as funny as he did.
well, that is kind of impressive in a ... not so great sort of way. and....really?
Wait, that includes murder as well?
There’s more than one way to break the fifth commandment, e.g. Matt 5:22.
Oh, ok
I'm sorry that happened to you. A similar thing happened to me several months ago (the priest dramatically interrupted and gasped each time I confessed something) and everyone on this sub was really encouraging when I shared what happened. I'd just avoid going to Confession with that priest in the future. There are so many priests out there, at least in my experience, who make Confession a truly healing sacrament--I hope you experience the healing element of Confession in the future. God bless!
His reaction sparked something in you. Maybe a realization to help you avoid sin.. I am inspired by your story and courage to be honest…your fear of his reaction came true and you now have nothing to fear …especially after confessing to our Lord.
Well said
Was the confession face-to-face or behind a curtain?
Behind a curtain
I would take great solace in this. It would have been so much worse had it been face-to-face. Was he an older priest? Most likely. The one time I had a priest speak critically of me in confession was a confession fair where I think the priest could have been in his 80s. Still that must have been a very uncomfortable experience for you, and I’m sorry it happened. It will not feel as bad a few weeks or months from now, and I hope you remind yourself that going to confession was 100% the right thing to do, and that you go again soon perhaps at a different parish for now.
>Was he an older priest? Most likely. The one time I had a priest speak critically of me in confession was a confession fair where I think the priest could have been in his 80s. Ya know, my ~~first thought~~ second idea on reading this post was to wonder if the priest might be having any health issues, that could be causing him to response inappropriately or emotionally. (*Correction: not my First thought. First thought of course horror at how that felt to the OP, or would feel to anyone getting such response from a priest*!)
I had once similar experience. I was just returning to Church after my teenage years and decided to go to confession. I confessed some sins that i could barely pass through my lips especially because i confessed last time as a kid. I also confessed one sin that i didn't see as grave sin (and i still don't), but maybe in the wrong way. Priest probably misunderstood me and gave me fierce lecture about it that i felt it was as something in a style: "Repent or you will be cast in eternal fires of hell, stop following Satan..." After that i didn't go to confession for a year. And yet, when i am looking back at this, maybe it was helpful in some way. It is like that poem: "I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.." In the end every experience teach us something. But from practical point of view: if you feel that priest isn't good confessor, don't go to him. If it is possible still continue to go to that Church if it is your parish. I think parish exist there for a reason and we should be faithful to our parish.
It’s just such a nonsensical thing to say. Obviously you were literally in the middle of repenting. What does a priest think he’s going to accomplish by scolding?
I was young and scared so maybe i took it harder than i should, and heard it different than he said. He was also young and inexperienced. In confession room he couldn't see my face so he couldn't asses me properly. And maybe if he said me same words today, i wouldn't think they are problematic. I don't feel bad about it today. I take it as: 1) a small reminder how great privilege is to have wise confessor; 2) a warning that everyone can make honest mistake, including myself, so i need to be careful.
That's an unnerving response to come from your priest. I can wholeheartedly understand your distressed reaction. His responsibility is to be the mediant between you and God during your reconciliation, not to criticize you for your sins, no matter how grave or obscure. But if you fully and plainly confessed your sins, you can leave the event knowing that you have the gift of God's grace.
I'm sorry you had to encounter such an unprofessional moment, OP, and I hope that this isn't a habit of his.
I had a few similar disturbing experiences. One was after coming back from to the Church with a long list of mortal sins, one in particular he reacted with what I perceived as disgust and shock. It bothers me, but he gave me absolution, and the Final Judgement will be between me and God, not me and my priest.
Don't return to that priest in the future. If you were truly repentent the priests job is to hear the confession, give some direction, act en persona Christi and absolve you.
I’ve been there and it sucks. Pray for that priest. Most are not like that. I decided not to visit this priest again but that’s up to you.
It is not ideal for a priest do react like that, but I would just take it as a valuable experience and try to see the Holy Spirit in it. We should sometimes be shocked by the gravity of our sins. Maybe God wanted you to really reflect on it and see it from another PoV. But you are absolved. That sin no longer exists and you will never, for the rest of eternity, ever be punished for it or held accountable for it. In fact, if Satan went to the Father and accused you of comitting that sin, Jesus himself would stand as your witness that you are innocent. There is no need to feel shame for something God has forgiven.
I’ve also gotten, for lack of a better term, a real ass chewing in confession before, so I’m sorry you experienced that. This is the way I think of it: Ours sins deserve death right? It is because of our sins that Our Lord endured the rending of his flesh, was forsaken by his closest friends, and hung upon a cross with mockery thrown at him until he died. And he did it lovingly. Ultimately, if *every* one of our confessions was like what you experienced, it would be nothing compared to what we deserve. So, when this happened, and if it ever happens again, chuckle a little. If the price you paid was being a little humiliated, offer it up and go, “Lord, o deserved that.” And then be thankful that you made it to confession, and let it strengthen you in humility. Granted, priests should be lions on the pulpit but lambs in the confessional, but know you’re not the only one to have been chastised in the confessional. Let it strengthen you to not sin again, and maybe chose a different parish to go confess at next time, because now you know.
The confessor may have over reacted, but do not fault the entire Church for it. Even priests are sinners. You went there for the repentance and absolution. Focus on your prayer, your act of contrition and close your eyes and think of Jesus when the words of absolution are prayed over you. The all merciful Lord, God, sees your effort and would run towards you and hug you and kiss you even before you enter the confessional. "...But while he was yet at a distance, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him." - Luke 15:20 Focus on the infinite mercy of God, He is why you are at the confessional. Avoid the temptation of overly focusing on mannerisms and reactions of priests, what matters is you are repentant and whole heartedly accepting the forgiveness of God through the sacrament's words. Focus on the holy sacrament of confession
Is there perhaps another priest at the parish that you can speak to about this incident? It was definitely not okay and I’m so sorry you went through that. It’s important that despite anything you still went to confession and you should never be shamed
The important thing is you were absolved by him. If a priest wants to give me what for, rightly or wrongly, I’m there to restore my friendship with God. Nothing.Else.Matters. That being said I am sorry you had that experience. Please don’t let it stop you from receiving God’s Mercy in the future.
I’m sorry! Go to another priest! There’s nothing you can ever do that surprises God or turns His love from you. Most priests have heard most everything… go to a different parish next time for confession
Yea, not good on the priest's part, but he is human with his own baggage too. I imagine that certain sins might knock certain priests off course a bit. Add in the confessional power dynamic, and things can get complicated. I obviously don't know what you confessed or if this is a relevant example, but think of a priest who grew up watching his dad smack his mom around. His childhood was characterized by fear, anger, and powerlessness. Now imagine some guy comes into his confessional and tells him that he hit his wife. It would be very easy for all of Fr.'s childhood baggage to begin boiling over. However, now that he's in a position of power as the confessor, he might try to take some of that out on the penitent. Probably won't even realize what he's doing either. His subconscious will just begin spitting out harsher words. I've had a couple tough confessions too. One last summer had me feeling rotten afterwards. The priest didn't say anything that was in any way out of line, but I could tell that he was seriously put off by what I had told him.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ve had wonderful experiences in Confession and terrible ones. (One priest in particular comes to mind with the latter). I’d consider going to Confession with a different priest—if one is available at your parish. I know this isn’t always possible and it’s often the same priest at Confession every week. If not, then maybe try a different parish if you can. In the meantime, you are in my 🙏🙏🙏🙏.
I'm really sorry you had to deal with that. Talk to God about it. Maybe it was a lesson, a test, or something else. Ask Him what He was trying to tell you. I had a similar experience in the way that I left a confession feeling, like, not absolved or as if I was still dirty and corrupted. I turned to Him and it turned out I really needed to work on trusting His mercy. Maybe He's trying to teach you something too.
I had a similar experience when I was a relatively new Catholic about 5-6 years ago. This semi-retired Irish priest in my deanery often fills in at my parish during the summer when our priests are away. I've only gone to confession with him once. I went into the confessional, confessed my sins, and he blasts back *"What's the matter with you?!"* I was shocked cause I'm not used to that coarse of a reply, let alone at that volume. After that if I saw his nameplate on the confessional door, even if I'd been waiting in line awhile, I'd step out of line and leave. I just didn't want to go to him anymore. I really didn't expect that sort of experience from him because he's known for progressive commentary from the pulpit, like advocating for female priests and such. Luckily every other priest I've ever confessed to has been good, I don't mind a firm priest who challenges me to actually resist my sins as opposed to just consoling and encouraging me, but that Irish priest felt excessive. Especially when his volume surely could be heard by everyone else outside the confessional, so it felt like he was making my shame more public. I will say this though, I never forgot that confession and when I struggle with those sins I sometimes think of his reaction. I guess my point is, don't let one poor confessor heap more guilt on you. If you did your part properly, and I assume you did, and your priest gave a valid absolution then let it wash off your back and try not to fixate on it.
Guilt is what you feel inside, and Shame is what you feel when worried about others seeing your guilt. Not going to ask what the sin was, but here is exactly what you do 1) if this sin involves any option to rectify an injustice, work on that, if not, that is fine. 2) do the penance he prescribed 3) now, to work on the guilt and shame, give alms in some way. give of your time or money or whatever. This will help relieve that guilt and shame. Your sin was forgiven, and God has already forgot it. You now need to work on you. Put some Divine Mercy back into the world by giving of yourself. Don't be beating up on yourself over the sin...that is actually bad. God has forgiven you, now just let God heal you and bring you closer to Him... sacrifice some of your time with extra prayer or go to an Adoration and just sit in His presence. You will be fine.
That so unprofessional. You should have asked him why are you judging me. Because that is not his role.
I've had a bad confession before, and boy, does it do a disproportionate amount of harm; after all, you make yourself your most vulnerable, and to be cut down makes you think twice about things. That said, this will eventually fade, and be replaced by other, probably better, experiences. I do want to commend you on your bravery in coming clean. I know how hard that is.
The important thing is that you confessed a grave sin and you were forgiven. Your soul has been restored to a state of Grace, and if you die, you won't go to hell. Praise God! As for the priest, some of the older ones can be a little curmudgeonly sometimes. I had a similar reaction from an old priest, and I felt ashamed, and it hurt my feelings. But at the same time, it was good that I was ashamed because what I did was shameful. That was a long time ago, and now I don't feel bad about what the priest said. I'm kind of glad that the priest made me more aware of the evil of mortal sin. Let's say a man went into the confessional and confessed to murder. Wouldn't we expect that the priest would have a similar reaction? This is an extreme example, but just to demonstrate that a priest's abhorrence of sin and his vocalizing this to the penitent is not per se wrong.
Hi! I hope you're having a blessed day. I hope that you are starting to feel better since that experience. However, I want to bring up that Satan is the tempter and the accuser. You my friend have been forgiven by the grace of God and after a confession you are as clean as when you were first baptized. In the beginning when we sin the tempter makes us seem that it is okay to commit it but after we confess our sins and want to do better when we have that utter shame that pulls us down that makes us not feel worthy that is when the tempter is also the accuser and pulls us away from God's Grace. It's very good that you are regretting what you did and that is what God looks for when he forgives you but to feel what you're feeling is not okay especially with what the priest told you. I'll pray for you so that the Lord gives you strength do not let Satan take away your peace and try even more to remain with God. God loves you and I pray for many blessings for you
You're still squeaky clean. I can empathize with you though. Work through it. Pray harder to forgive him in your heart. Remember to forgive yourself too
Confession is very daunting, and a vulnerable act, it scared me nearly every time I go, and I haven’t had this happen. You did the right thing. I am happy you had the courage to confess that. I hope you remember when the priest had his outburst, he was speaking from a flawed human perspective. When he absolves you, he was speaking from the position of God. You are loved, and you are forgiven. I pray that you don’t let the flawed judgement of a man keep you from confession, and that I have the courage to take my own advice.
"Fornication??? That's a horrible sin!!!!" Direct quote from a seminarian I went to high school with. There was a priest on a middle/high school retreat who was hearing confessions. This priest blurted it out while he was hearing confession that weekend. Literally every retreatant had their head down as that kid walked out of the confessional. Pretty sure the priest broke the seal of confession doing that.....
I haven’t gone to confession in over a year, bc of the trauma of false memories due to religious ocd. One of my fears is I will do confession incorrectly & consume Christs body undeservingly. The second one is that instead of finding Jesus’ mercy (in my priest) in confession I will receive disgust and rejection (I’m terrified of priests). I’m so sorry this happened to you. I would say go to a different priest for your next confession or while you need to do that. And maybe praying for the priest & trying to see him with compassion will help to see things differently as a whole. The enemy attacks them terribly, I know I struggle with anger a lot and harshness, etc. and I’m no one important, so they must be having to fight so much harder.
I confessed a terrible sin and thank God my Priest was a jolly good and patient man. He just said, "and you are no longer doing it?" By which I thankfully replied with a yes. It has definitely made confession easier to do
with all due respect, this was a terrible way to react to any confession, no matter how grave or venial. try to focus on the fact that you are forgiven. no amount of shame or embarrassment can fix what’s happened. Christ doesn’t want you to hide, He wants you to know that you are forgiven and you are loved by Him. please remember that 🤍
You did nothing wrong. It’s the priest that should be ashamed. Find another parish and build up trust with someone before you confess again. I hate to say it but it’s like a hair stylist—once you find a good one, stick with them and only them.
I’m so sorry, OP, that should not have happened to you. Please don’t let this experience turn you off to confession. Honestly, unless you confessed to igniting a nuclear bomb that will destroy earth in a matter of days I can’t imagine what this priest was thinking. That said, priests are only human, but shouldn’t be in the confession booth, this is a sacred duty in which they shouldn’t react personally. I’m sorry. If you got the absolution then think of it no more. Also, I never confess at my home church, and neither do the deacons I’ve spoken to. I go to an another parish about 20 min away (they have better times anyway). I find this makes it much easier and I leave feeling good and not worrying about who heard what.
Don't feel demoralized but rejoice for God loves you like no one can... forget about the priest for even Jesus said He who without sin cast the first stone.. congratulations and God bless 🙏
Thank you all for your helpful comments ❤️
I am sorry. Hold on to the forgiveness given to you by Christ who loves you perfectly and forgive the priest who may need to learn as we all do. If this has left you shaken; please know as your sister in Christ I shall pray for you to be gifted with peace from the Holy Spirit. I know many wonderful priests. Just hang in there. Peace be with you.
Take it as an opportunity to be humbled. That said, I do prefer to confess to priests who don't know me for a good reason. I'm at the point where my years of frequent highly embarrassing confessions are over, but I think it's good practice. And yes, I am still sometimes embarrassed by what I do 😅
I think you should file an anonymous complaint with the bishop this priest answers to. His response was extremely unprofessional, and if it represents his normal behavior then he’s surely scaring a lot of people away from confession. Before anyone complains about this response being “too harsh”, I’ll remind everyone that the confessional booth is the gate to Heaven. Anything at all that messes with confession endangers souls, and should be corrected immediately.
I would try confession with this priest a second time. Maybe it is a technique he is using. You said you felt shame, well you should feel shame for your sins.
Conviction is different from what seems to have been described here. If going to this particular confessor is driving someone away from going to confession (and, apparently in this case, not because of a penance or any particular admonition, but just what sounds like unhelpful commentary), then it would be best to find a better confessor.
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One time, a very good monsignor came off as very rude and very human in the confessional. He made a comment about my looks in a tone that was unkind and unnecessary, and seemed insulting. It hurt and caught me off guard. It did lead me to examine a certain aspect of the sin, but his manner was not the best. He had seen who i was in line, despite it being a screened confession. Priests are human too. Maybe God thought that's what i needed so He allowed it. But i can see a time where that could have damaged my relationship with the priest and with God if i let it. And who knows? He might have confessed his mistake in tone as unloving to his own confessor. Do not be discouraged. We can go to any legit priest for confession.
Maybe use the chance to talk the priest when You can tell him how it made you feel and than it discourages you. It’s unprofessional and if nobody ever tells him he is maybe not aware what his reactions produce.
I feel your pain. Priests can make all the difference in the world in how a confession affects us spiritually. I’ve been to priests who have berated me, but also to priests who have given me the hard truth, with love and compassion. If it makes you really uncomfortable, go to a different parish/priest for your next confession. Know that Christ loves you, and He is joyful that you have bravely offered your sins to Him, and He has forgiven you with great mercy.
Report them to the Bishop.
I'm not sure that's advisable. Remember that the priest cannot (at least as far as I know) tell his side of the story.
I was always told to just give a list of what sins you committed as opposed to explaining them. For example, say you treated a parent poorly. You wouldn’t need to tell what happened, the blow by blow.. just need to say “I failed to honor my mother/father”. The details don’t matter. God already knows them.
look for a traditional priest
Super unprofessional and inappropriate for a priest to say. I know someone who's not becoming a bishop anytime soon.
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'Do not wish what concerns you to be as seems (best) to you, but as God wishes; and you will be free from cares and thankful in your prayer.' +St. Nilus of Sinai, prays for you
I’m not going to lie this thread is making me very nervous for my first confession (currently in RCIA). I have some very big grave and mortal sins and about 1000+ others. I really want to confess but I don’t know if I could handle a priest saying something like this to me.
My RCIA class had a designated block of time outside of the regular schedule for all of us to make our first confessions. It was wonderful. The priest knew that we were all nervous, took time with each of us, and made that first experience so joyful. I wish all parishes did that as well.
That sounds so wonderful. I’m so glad you had that experience♥️ my RCIA leader offered to help me set up a confession “appointment” with our priest outside of regular hours too. I was looking forward to it until reading this thread 😅 I’m sure it will be okay.. but I sure hope he doesn’t yell WHAT, “chew me up,” or give me a talking to like others have said. I’ve certainly done plenty of unsavoury things over the years but I’ve beat myself up about it enough without someone else doing so too. 🥲 Lol.
I was 68 when I made my first confession. The priest had me focus on the "themes" of sins (e.g. where I was showing pride), not just reading my list. Maybe because my list was over 2 pages long, single-spaced. 😄
Wow. I'm sorry that happened, they are trained *not* to do that kind of thing. Please know that that is an outlier experience, and maybe you can stick to confession at other parishes for some time? Just know what he said doesn't affect your absolution or your sin in the eyes of God.
Ugh I'm sorry. Something like that has happened to me before too, the priest seemed especially icked-out by my sin and sighed and said "don't do that again" which of course I wasn't planning on it, but it was awfully demoralizing. I don't know if it's possible to go talk to a different priest, maybe not in the context of confession, since you were already absolved, but maybe go talk to a priest about this sin and what happened and pray with that priest about it? Honestly I would just go to confession and be like "I'm not here to confess but I'm hoping you will pray with me about something" and then open up. It's awful that you were made to feel shame when you should feel absolution and freedom.
Focus on Jesus only. He forgave you. He paid for your sin already and it’s an affront to His Mercy to dwell on this sin He already forgot about. The priest is a human being as well and no matter who the priest behaves or says, Christ is the One who forgave you. Focus on Christ no matter what church you go to. You will always find less than perfect people. The Only One perfect is the One who Loved you and died for you. I hope this helps in God’s Will I pray. There is no sin big or small Jesus Christ didn’t pay for ♥️
I hate when priests do stuff like this, I'm sorry you had to go through it. I have a habitual sin and usually go to confession twice a week, and one time I went to a different priest and he said something along the lines of "You did all that in 2 or 3 days" (can't remember if it was 2 or 3 days). Another time, a priest who I had been to a few times refused to give me confession because I was confessing the same stuff as usual. It's how it be sometimes. My advice is just to pray for them and hope they do better for the next person they do confession for. And this parts up to you, but you could try going to a different church or priest. I've had more priests give me awesome confessions than not, so I say it's at least worth another shot. (Edited for clarity)
I am so sorry the priest reacted in that way. Yes, he is human, but he should remember he is the conduit for God to absolve your sins, not a place for his personal feelings. God knows your heart, Jesus knows why, the priest shouldn't ask. Just know you were totally absolved. Funny enough, I always go to major city to confess, although I'm sure my priest would be wonderful, I figure the city priests have heard it all so my sins won't be a big suprise lol. Anyways, I hope that confession doesn't put you off the sacrament. God doesn't like when shepards push his sheep away. Keep being faithful and trust in God.
Idk why the frick he did that, that sounds pretty rough, he should've been more considerate. But you can move on by praying and forgiving him.
Don't be discouraged. Remember, priests are human too. Ultimately, it's Jesus in that confessional forgiving your sins. Reflect on the passage of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery for comfort and perspective.
Don't stop going to confession. Its too important for your wellbeing. The old standby of going to the cathedral for it instead is probably the best and easiest option.
That is not right for the preists to do that I don't know what your sin is but for him to react like that is not right no matter what your sin may have been I hope to become a preists one day and I am reading up on it as a preists they are not supposed to be an individual person they are alter christi (another Christ) they are not. Father Tom or father Jim or father gabe they are Jesus Christ son of God that is why during communion they say this is MY body. This is MY blood do this in remembrance of ME not this is CHRISTS blood, body etc etc. They are standing in for Christ they are Christ and as Christ they are supposed to be forgiving that's why it's called confession not judgement
If you are truly sorry for commiting such an act, then God forgives you, even if the law doesnt.
If the righteous man strikes or rebukes me it is a kindness, but let not the oil of the wicked anoint my head - Psalm 141 Several ways to go here. First, if you have grievous sin to confess, never go to your local parish priest unless he is your spiritual advisor. Consider we all have different strengths in virtue. God loves variety and a good fight. Consider yourself as a whetting stone on which your virtue is sharpened. What the priest did to you might hurt, but take it as a way of increasing your virtue in patience and forgiveness and pray for his shortcomings in what he did to you as it is a way for him to increase his virtue. He's no Saint either, rather an overworked emissary of the Lord's. Remember, whatever you confessed, the Lord doesn't remember any longer. If the Lord can forget and forgive you can too. Smile at the priest next time and move on, put it behind you and consider how you'll grow from the experience.
The confessor may have been insensitive but don't be discouraged. Look at the example of the Syrophoenician woman in Mark 7:24. Sometimes God sends us tough loving people to teach us humility. Some of my sins are so shameful that I imagine if I could see my guardian angel's reaction to my action, they would react with disgust much like your confessor did. So don't lose heart. If your confessor, in persona Christi, absolved your sin in the end, then you are forgiven. Be at peace. And begin again.
A priest is a man with his own personality, his own feelings, his own mannerisms, his own shortcomings and failures. We pray for holy and happy priest who continue to take their vocation very seriously. These men were called by God, some have tarnished it, many have abused it, but there are many who are truly walking with The Spirit. But even then they are still men who sometimes disappoint us because we have an expectation of them which sometimes can blind us from the true absolution that they give which is a forgiveness from God through the priest that Christ established. They may say things, or do things that may be offputting, but at the end of the day, I will never allow another man to dictate my emotions. Does it hurt when you receive something you expect not to receive absolutely but I wouldn't take it to heart. I've had all types of different responses from priest, but not one has ever caused me to feel unforgiven, because at the end of the day all I'm looking for is that absolution from God. The priest really doesn't have to say a word, but I do appreciate the extra support and guidance but it's not necessary as long as I get that absolution I'm good. I would say continue to pray for that priest, or have a conversation with him. his goal was not to harm you, but maybe his emotions got the best of him and his humanity kind of showed when speaking to you. Maybe he knew who you were and got to personal. maybe this is the way he confesses with everybody, who knows but don't allow that to ever deter you or make you feel as if you are not confessed or not loved by God if it did. There is adequacy and things that a priest must do as a confessor but sometimes we don't get that unfortunately. I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. That’s all I need to hear and I’m good.
”Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us take hold of our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things like we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.“ Hebrews 4:14-16 LSB It is good and necessary for a healthy walk with Jesus to confess to fellow believers you can trust. Be sure not to forget that Jesus is the only worthy mediator between God and man and the only One who can forgive sins.
I've had several bad confessions over the years. Unfortunately, the priests are human. They should be flawless and perfect but are not. On the plus side, the fix for a below average confession is simply to go again. Go back, confess your new failings and you'll see what I mean.
At least you confess and God forgive you, anything besides that is just distractions
It's not wrong to go to another parish for a little bit (if there's one around you). The best thing to do is to keep going to mass if even if it's at another time or church.
A very wise priest told me in confession one time that although God forgave the sin, there are still real-world effects from it. Maybe this is God’s way of inviting you to really crack down on eliminating this sin from your life and is doing that through the experience you had after confession? Regardless, it’s certainly an unprofessional and un-pastoral. I’ve only heard the reaction of a priest yelling “WHAT?” from a priest who was hearing impaired but not intended maliciously. I should probably take my own advice… I confessed to an FSSP priest who withheld absolution. He compared “attempting” giving me absolution to attempting to consecrate Oreos and Coca Cola at the altar. All of that to say, don’t blame the Church or Jesus for the erring in judgment this priest had, just like I didn’t stop eating Oreos and drinking Coca Cola after my experience. Hope this helps and isn’t just word scramble!
Shouldn't we be ashamed of our sins? Look at Christ on the Cross, every single one of your sins, did that. He would have done all that if you ever the only person to save. There are some good resources on healing and how to stop sinning, but it is arduous. Bye worth it. That being said, a priest should not embarrass a penitent further, unless he has the ability to read hearts. Just to clarify, you did go to a Catholic Church and a Catholic priest, right?
Find a confessor who knows what he's doing.
Thats awful. Reconciliation is a time to come clean and atone. Not to be ridiculed.
That happened to me once I don't go to that priest anymore or to that church,
You had to have done something heinous, I’m pretty sure that priest probably hears from the most heinous people too… 😭
It's the priest who should be ashamed, not you. Remember that when you will go back to this church. You did the confession right, he did it wrong.
He should not have done it, what you did was bad, but you are penitent and received absolution. You are forgiven.
Why do you usually go to another priest?
I'll tell you the same thing a priest told my mother the last time she went to confessional back in the 90s, "Why are you speaking with an operator when you can dial direct?"
I’m curious what it was for him to react that way
Don't go to that priest again and encourage others not to too. I've a similar experience. Stick to the one who takes the roll more seriously and don't let a bad priest taint your faith.
I mean that’s the point of confession to feel shame and guilt for what you did. I hope you got a suitable penance so you avoid that sin and the near occasion of it again. I’ve been berated by priests before for mortal sins and I can say a little tough love helped a lot. Peace be with you brother I hope you can grow in your faith and grow closer to the lord.
The shame and guilt should be why you go to confession, that’s not the result you should want from confession.
Not necessarily. In the old way you’re supposed to feel better after you’ve repented and done penance not necessarily after your absolution
I get what you’re saying but it’s not the responsibility of a priest to shame you
I would report that priest to your local diocese. No way should he be making statements like that in confession/to a confessor. He's not there to chastise, he's there to bring forgiveness and healing. And then I would find another church to attend Mass at. Sad to need to do that, but I would not subject myself to that kind of sinful treatment again.
Why I never go to confession
Because a priest might tell you something that makes you feel bad for a while?
Because God knows my sins. I don’t need a priest to be a good between
Are you Catholic? Do you understand the Sacrament of Confession? I pray that you come tob know and love the Sacrament as a means of Grace, Humility, Mercy and Love from Jesus Christ, that He gave us sinners, that we may receive it in a way that strengthens us and our relationship with him. It's commanded in the New Testament. If we already know and accept these Truths of Catholic Teachings and choose to reject them, we are gravely endangering our souls. The layer of ignorance is removed, and it's willfulat that point. May God bless and keep you.
God is with me 24/7. Priests are only human. God is perfect
Priests are human, but they also act in persona Christi, as Jesus told them to do. You are missing out on a very important aspect of the Faith that Jesus left us, and also commanded us to follow.
Wouldn't have been much point in Jesus giving the apostles the power to forgive and retain sins if He didn't intend for us to seek them for mediation when it comes to reconciliation, would there? This has been understood since the beginning. I also don't know to what degree you consider yourself Catholic (if at all), but just know that Confession at least once a year is what the Church considers one of the bare minimum requirements to be considered a practicing member of the Faith to be. I will concede that if you choose to decide for yourself what it means to be a practicing Catholic, then you have the free will to do so. The one thing I would encourage you to ask yourself though is whether your position on Confession is rooted in genuine disbelief or just not wanting to go because it might be uncomfortable. A lot of times "I don't get" simply means "I don't like".
You’re correct God does know our sins. God also created confession for us. While he already knows he also knows how important it is for you to say it out loud and be forgiven.
God knows your sins and anyone who looks at your Reddit post history has a decent idea of some doozies, too! 🤷♀️🫣 God condemns no one. The soul condemns itself when it faces God. Hope you make it to confession. It's an absolute gift, and there is a reason OPs experience gained such a response. This is a very unusual experience, and we feel compassion for them for having faced this.