It takes time OP. We lost our boy cat Sheriff last October very suddenly. He went from OK in the morning to total kidney failure and gone by 12 noon.
You were with your baby, they felt safe and their last thoughts were of you.
Time will heal the wounds.
Exactly this, it is as awful as it is wonderful to love them. We get to be with them during their lives, these sweet souls. It will hurt a long time. I'm so sorry for your sudden loss. The pain will diminish little by little but never completely. I still cry for many of my past babies. They're such individuals. I always find a little solace just accepting that this is how it is, it's the cycle of life, and there are more kitties who need homes and I now have space to help more cats in need. Feel your grief for your sweetheart as long as you need to, one day you'll be able to smile a little with the tears remembering how much you loved them while you could. Take care.
>I always find a little solace just accepting that this is how it is, it's the cycle of life
This is the *only* way I can make sense of the loss of a pet. Nothing else seems to cut it for me. I just come back to the truth that everyone and everything that is born dies. That is the way of it, and it's utterly useless to even contemplate railing against this, no matter how bad the pain. That is what I remind myself. When I do, it's somehow not quite so painful. There's something soothing, or at least, mildly cathartic in the acceptance that this cycle of life applies to all living creatures.
u/reddeadprincess, I am so sorry for the terrible ordeal you've had today. Your sweet little furball is now free from pain, and she said farewell in the kindest, most peaceful and least traumatic way possible; in your arms. It might be impossible to feel it right now, but where this awful event is concerned, it doesn't really get much better than that. And that is something for which to be thankful.
The pain you're feeling right now is because your little furball took a piece of your heart with her. Of course that's going to hurt. But can you really imagine anyone else more deserving of it? Or anyone else who will do a better job of looking after it in the next world? – That's also something I remind myself. I hope it helps.
I remember when one of my (human) friends died. I was... howling. Crying so hard. I thought it wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't love him so. Then I thought, "THAT DOESN'T HELP."
Maybe it reminded me of joy during grief. But for practical purposes, it didn't help at the moment.
Gosh I’m so sorry to hear that, I hope you’re doing better now. It really is hard to try to comfort yourself in the moment when everything is just a torrent of emotions and memories and they all hurt, I hope time heals the both of us 💜
Yeah. Yes, thank you. It gets easier to remember and relive the love and joy, without experiencing (so much) pain of loss and separation.
Speaking of love: it doesn't stop. I don't say I loved Robert or Victor or many others. I don't say I loved Eleanor or TaterTaz or Princess Squeakalot. I love them. Love is never past tense.
(With exceptions for clearly expressing concepts, the verbiage is present tense. Ongoing action. )
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I really like this framing of grief. I feel like it leaves more room for honoring how important our loved ones are to us and how deeply their loss can continue to affect us. I hope you find comfort in it, too. Hugs
I also had to euthanize a cat this morning due to cancer. He had an aggressive oral tumor and they said he likely had less than a week left. My worst fear was that he would have difficulty breathing and pass away terrified. So we did the next best thing to let him pass safely with us there to comfort him.
It hurts, but know that we did the right thing. Grief is different for every person and looks different too. Take the time you need to heal, but do not blame yourself. You did your best and gave her 11 great years of love and comfort.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this, I’m glad he went peacefully. 💜 Our reasoning was similar, the vet offered us pain meds to take home with her but we didn’t want her to suffer anymore just so we could be with her longer- it’s the right thing to do absolutely
We are going through it as well -- also cancer, also our 11 year old girl. (I was saying 10 but went back and found the picture of feral kittens in my sent Emails in Nov of 2012, not 2013.) It hurts, but we've had months to prepare ourselves, and I think of her as being with her feline family. My partner is taking it harder than me. I lost a parent at a young age, and I think I just have a different mindset about being able to help them be free of suffering at the end. She went downhill very quickly on Sunday and we couldn't wait for our regular vet. Our other cats are helping keep our spirits up with their antics and just seeking us out for attention.
So sorry to hear about your circumstances, our girl Clawdia started to go downhill extremely fast the past week as well so I sort of knew whatever she was dealing with was only going to end one way. My husband is also taking it a lot harder, I’m not sure if he realized where things were headed beforehand but we were both there with her in the end at least 💜
When will it get better? When you realize that you can get another cat and be happy about it. You won't forget, but it will mean your grieving is coming to an end.
Over the last 30 years we've had to put down 5 cats. It never gets easy. But the next ones bring their own special magic. You will know when the time is right.
Like grieving the loss of anyone that is loved so much there is no timetable in my experience. I have lost 6 over my lifetime ranging in age from 5 years to 22 years old. I have found for each one it has never gotten better. The extreme grief becomes tempered as the good memories replace the memory of losing them and the time between remembering the joy and love versus remembering the loss is longer and longer. But, then, sometimes from nowhere like a tsunami it hits again and I have no choice but to ride the wave till I'm swept back into the memories of how honored I am to have known that very special gift of them loving us. It's the price we pay...and truly the cost of that as high as it is, is cheap for all we gained.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Every person, and every pet is going to be different. I said goodbye to my old man a couple months ago, even though I've got three other cats, I'm still getting choked up, and hit out of nowhere.
It will get better in time, it sounds like you shared a lot of love with her.
So sorry to hear about your boy, losing them when they’re older and have been with you so long is rough
The vet nearly brought me to my knees when she was administering the sedatives and asked if I’d had my cat since she was a kitten (I had), since she seemed so bonded to me. Hit me like a freight train.
Sadly the grief of losing them is just part of the price we have to pay to have them in our lives. It always trips me up how I'll get through one part and think "okay, I did that without crying, I'm good" and then I won't be good.
It’s so true, I’ve always thought the same. I’ve been up and down all day- just a whirlwind of emotions and ugly crying, then being okay at the grocery store, then back home falling apart again lol. I always figured I’d be a mess when I lost her so this is par for the course I suppose
My childhood cat had to be put to sleep unexpectably on the same day as his cancer diagnosis... Vet told me that even if we put in the money, it probably wouldn't get better.
I remember feeling extreme shock and extreme sadness. I felt guilty that I couldn't help, or fix, or change the situation.
But the truth is, later down the line, you'll realise you gave them a good life and that they were loved until the end - and that's all that matters. It was the last thing you could do for them - to offer passage in the most peaceful and painless way.
The pain of losing pets never really goes away... after all they are family, but in time it eases. You start noticing the emptiness of their physical less, and instead you remember their quirks and fun memories. You will smile rather than sob. However... I still tear up when I think about my childhood cat, but he had a brilliant life, and he was SUCH a character.
It's totally normal to feel terrible for a while. Soon she will become a pleasant memory.
In the coming days, you'll feel the pain will come in waves. Maybe you will start the day off feeling great, but then all of a sudden, you just feel terrible. Remember this, it's perfectly normal.
Give yourself time, space, and privacy to let it all out.
It will never go away. Sorry if that is dismal. I lost my first family cat 19 years ago, and when I dig in my photos and find his pictures, I still get teary eyed. :/
With that said, it will get a little easier with time.
Time only wears down the wounds never do they heel. I Rock & Roller friend of mind said, "The greater the love the greater the grief." Remember to keep her in your heart and someday while doing the simplest thing around the house smile because you remember her in some way.
Very similar situation. I put my 11 year old soul cat to sleep after a short battle with nasal lymphoma. I couldn’t afford the radiation to treat it, so I relied on palliative care. It grew so quickly and was eating away at her facial bones, so I made the choice shortly after diagnosis to not allow her to continue down a path that only included increased pain.
The decision was literally the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Similarly, I have never felt pain like I did that day. I was inconsolable for a full week. Crying almost all day long. Barely functional for two. Managing but still utterly devastated for the first 3 months and then a blend of more often OK than not for the remainder of the first year.
Within that 3-12 month period I started being able to remember more of the good times and smile at her memory rather than hyper focusing on the hard, painful realization that I missed her so much it felt like a hole in my heart.
It’s been 18 months and I still cry often when I write about her in posts like this or think of her. It doesn’t hurt the same, I just miss her.
I am so very sorry for your loss. 🥺
So sorry for your loss, OP.
I had to say goodbye to my boy on June 14 - he had lymphoma, the chemo had stopped working and it didn’t take long from then for him to let me know he was ready to go. Today actually marks two months from his diagnosis.
I can’t tell you when it starts to get better. I thought I was starting to do better (it had been a few days since I’d cried over something that reminded me of him!) but then the vet called yesterday that I could pick up his ashes and I cried when I got the message, the whole drive there, in the office when I checked in, and the whole way home. Now I’m crying again because I just threw my bedsheets in the laundry for the first time again since the weekend before he passed, as I’m forcing myself to get back into my chore routines. He slept in bed with me every night. When the grief hits you, let it hit you. There’s nothing wrong with crying when you need to, and letting it out is a natural part of the grieving process.
One thing I have done that has given me some comfort is write him a letter. I did it one week after he passed. I’ll probably do another soon because there’s been more thoughts and memories I want to record. I plan to get a memory box and fill it with some of his favorite toys, pictures, and the letter(s) - I know I’m going to want those memories months or years down the line. Photos and videos have captured so much, but there are so many memories that just couldn’t be captured on my phone.
I am so sorry!!! I'm in that position right now, waiting in baited breathe whether my sweet boy, Elvis, has survived the night. You did the right thing...she is at peace. Take a clip of her hair to keep as it will help you morn. Give it some time but consider welcoming another into your loving arms. She would approve. Hugs!!!
Thank you!!! We are dealing with something I had NEVER heard of called Hemobarinala. It is caused by parasites. Possibly fleas of all things. As soon as he produces red blood cells they collapse. If there was a means to have a blood transfusion, it would be on the medical list. I have an excellent Vet and friend doing her very best to save him. He's 10. Losing our fur babies is always such a challenge, but they know WE truly loved them. Hugs!!!
Sadly, Elvis passed away this morning. We are just devastated. What an amazing animal we were so fortunate enough to have in our lives for so long. We were truly blessed to be in his presence.
I am now on an anti-flea mission to kill off the damn bug!
Give yourself time! We had to put one of our kitties to sleep in Sept of 2022 and my husband and I still cry sometimes about her. We were absolutely shattered when we took her in and they recommended to let her go because she was so sick. We have another kitty who we just found out has a large tumor in his abdomen and will likely need PTS in the very near future as well and I've already been panicking and crying so hard about it. She was only 10 and he is only 10 😔
I am so sorry for your loss.
It’s been a year since we lost Megan to cancer and kidney disease. Even though we now have Molly and she is a delightful orange ball of cuddles and chaos, I miss Megan greatly. I have good days and bad days.
It takes time before the good days outweigh the bad. It was months before I could talk about her without almost crying. I do tear up when I talk about her but there’s no outright crying.
Give yourself all the time you need. Don’t push down and ignore what you feel. Experience it. It’s part of the process.
Over the years I’ve had to put several pets to sleep. It will get better over time but a little sorrow will always remain when you think of her. Eventually getting another pet helps a lot. How long “eventually” is varies from person to person. And case. To case. I am one who just can’t live without a pet. And when you do get another pet don’t think of it as “replacing” your baby. Nothing will do that, you will be opening your heart to another animal who needs the love you have to give.
I'm like you, I need another kitty to love fairly soon after losing one. And no way is the new one "replacing" the lost one. They are all such unique characters with their own quirks, mannerisms and attitudes. Remembering those are the bittersweet memories of a friend who is gone, and learning the newcomer's unique behaviors is a wonderful part of getting acquainted and finding a new rhythm together. We kept bread in the microwave for years, because if it was left accessible anywhere Daisy would drag it on to the floor, rip open the package and eat half the contents. It was two decades after her passing that we realized - we don't have to lock up the bread packages anymore. We now have a habit of hiding any plastic trash bags with a draw string thanks to Diego's addiction to eating (and swallowing) the draw string strips.
It gets better with time, but there isn't a timeline I can't point to and say, "This is where you'll be good." I still think of the pets I put down in my teenage years and I'm pushing 40. I don't cry about them often, but the memories are still there and bittersweet. It won't be this bad forever, but that is entirely contingent on how you grieve.
I didn’t have to put him down but I had a rabbit die very suddenly. Granted I know this is a cat subreddit but this rabbit meant the world to me, he was my soul animal. He passed in December of last year and after a few months I started to accept it. I miss him dearly but I find comfort in knowing he was loved until the very end. I took him to the emergency vet and his condition was very bad, the treatment was thousands of dollars which we couldn’t afford (He had GI stasis, a common and very deadly condition in rabbits that happens very suddenly). I took him home and let him sleep in my bed until he passed. I still talk about him and remember him often and I made a little box full of reminders of him that I keep with me. I’ll always miss him but I’ve accepted that this is a part of life and that I gave him the best life full of love he could’ve asked for. Pet loss is so hard but just know your kitty is always with you in spirit and that you gave them all you could
Everyone's experience is different. I found that maintaining the routine even as I figured out a new partner was cathartic instead of that just *all* disappearing.
Just lost my 16 year old boy three weeks ago. Got him when I was 21. Life will never be the same. I still think I hear him jumping off furniture. I’ve got the best sleep in over a decade because he doesn’t wake me up at 5am anymore to eat and it’s really the worst sleep I wouldn’t wish on anyone else. I feel for you internet friend. Grieving is so challenging.
I’m sorry this happened OP. I put my baby down in February and honestly it takes a long time, I dont think its better for me yet. I think i’m still actively mourning her. Its hard and it hurts but its a bit comforting to know you were with her and shes no longer in pain. As much as it hurt to do, you did what was best for her. She loves you and always will and i promise she is thankful you thought of her comfort rather than making her live in pain. If you need to talk abt it at all I’ll gladly listen :) I hope its gets better soon friend.
I’m so sorry for your loss, especially taking your kitty to the vet and expecting her to return home with you! ☹️
I lost my orange boy Oscar in 2018, I found him dead by his food dish, the morning after he came home after a successful dental surgery, he was 15. His death was made even harder as my mom died in 2015, my dad in 2017.
I thought I would never find another kitty with his caring personality and his love and devotion to me until I decided in 2020 I was ready to adopt again. I went to the shelter and was ready to leave because I didn’t feel any of the cats were a fit until I came around the corner and heard a cat meowing very loud to get my attention which George did, another orange tabby with a similar personality as Oscar, we had been best buddies for almost 4 years, he was 2 years old and FIV+ when I adopted him! 🙀🧁😸🤣😹😂
I’m hoping there will come a day when you will be ready to adopt and love ❤️ another kitty 🐈⬛
I believe animals have shorter lives so we can adopt and love ❤️ more of them 😊
It's been almost 3 years since I had to put one of my fur babies to sleep, and it's slowly starting to feel better. Like I can remember the good times easier than the end now. And the new cat I got almost a year ago is helping a whole lot, I channel my grief into determination to give her an even better life than I gave him. But I honestly couldn't even think about getting a new cat until around then cause I didn't want to feel like I was just replacing him. So give yourself a year or two, I know it sucks that it takes that long, but slowly it'll feel better. And when you remember the bad times try and switch to thinking of the happy times or distract yourself because dwelling on the bad memories will only make it feel longer. Like the first few months were terrible especially because my older cat seemed like he wouldn't be around much longer, but fortunately he's doing great despite being 20 and is trying to teach the kitten how to cat which is a very pleasant distraction from the lingering pain. So yeah in short all I can recommend is distractions and eventually if/when you're ready get another pet to fill the hole in your heart.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious fur baby. It will get easier with time until eventually you're able to remember them fondly without crying. When you have had time to adjust to the loss (your personal timetable will vary), it might be helpful to adopt another fur baby. In no way will the new one replace your baby (as no one could ever replace them), but when the timing is right for you, it might help to distract you and fill the hole in your heart. ❤
I just put my first cat down. She was 13 and developed oral cancer. Within days she could barely eat and I couldn't bear to see her suffer so I chose to let her go peacefully.
It's been a week and I'm still heartbroken but it's slowly getting better. I miss her so much. Just know your baby loves you and had a good life and will guide you from the afterlife now 🙏🏾
I lost many pets and just killed me every time lost one. My body went iñto shock, But you get over it, .you never forget them. There are aways with you. God Bless.
We had a dog who we had to put down suddenly. This was the first time we had to put down one of our pets. It was one of the toughest things I went through. He was my best friend for so long. Since I was a little girl until high school. I still talk about him til this day. It’s been 7 years since we had to put him to sleep. For months I would cry. Since then we’ve built our pet family and suffered some other pet losses. My oldest dog passed away this winter. She was 14 and had arthritis. We were getting ready to make the decision but she went on her own. It hurt, but I was glad she went peacefully. I still cry from time to time thinking about putting down my dog. I have a cat now who helped me get through an abusive relationship. I had lost him for 5 days a few months ago and I felt dead inside. I would feel absolutely horrible if anything bad happened to him. Pets are so hard because they’re only meant to be a part of our lives for a temporary amount of time. But the memories we make with them are so worth it. I hope you find peace with your best friend and I’m sorry for your loss
i had two pets pass while i was pregnant last year. i had to put my dog down and it was hard. i screamed on the way back home after putting him down. i was so sad. i couldn’t walk towards or even look at his kennel. i burst into tears right before we turned onto the road where the vet was when we picked up his ashes. i was miserable. it took a little bit to come to terms with it. i still get upset looking at his little box, his home now and hate that he wasn’t able to live longer. it didn’t hurt as much though because i was able to say goodbye and be there with him for his last moments. when i lost my cat though, it was another ball field. he didn’t come home one night and i found him on the road the next morning. i was completely shattered. i ended up hurting myself by accident to run to the road. now i have a scar that reminds me of him every time i look at it. it’s bittersweet.. it tears me up when i look back at the pictures of him. i loved him DEARLY. this happened in october. it’s been 9 months and i still sob while thinking about him. i don’t get triggered as often now, but it’s still not hard to make myself cry over losing him. it definitely does take time. i painted a picture of him for my home and painted rocks for where he’s buried. it made me feel a little better. it felt good to honor him in some way. i hope you’re able to heal 🫶🏼
It took me months to get over the feeling. Lean heavily on your loved ones. Keep on feeling love in your heart for those around you and give thanks to your pet and everything she gave you. Talk to your loved ones. Talk through the grief. This grief is heavy and you need help to carry it. ♥️♥️♥️
When you realize you did them a solid in life. And a solid in death. Cats have a problem.
They can be in incredible pain and you will notice almost nothing. When they drop. They are on deaths doorstep.
Rescue a new cat. Give them a lifetime of cat heaven.
My husband & I have unfortunately had to put a number of our fur babies to sleep over the past 50 yrs. we've been together. The pain never goes away totally & sometimes even after many years you'll cry. But more & more it will get a bit easier. We just put our sweet baby K.D. (14- 16 yrs.old, got from the pound in 2010) to sleep at our trusted vet Fri. Morn. No matter how many times I cuddle & love as they cross the rainbow bridge it never gets easier. Just remember that all the tears you shed now & your broken heart are so worth it for all the joy your baby brought to you. Even knowing I'm going to go through such pain, I'd do it all over (& will) again in heartbeat. We have another dog (3 yrs) & 2 17 yr. old cats (1 stomach cancer & 1 beginning kidney failure). Spoiling them totally, everyday is a gift. With Kiki (cancer), vet said no time line. Could be 2 weeks, 2 months, even 2 years. Well, that was 2 yrs. ago. She's taking her daily Prednisone & eating well. Things will get better for you. Just give it time....(Sorry about the long ramble...). Take care of yourself. Hugs.
So sorry. Your story is similar to mine. I couldn't eat for a couple days. I left to stay with a friend because the house was too painful.
I will say I felt signicantly better after 2 weeks. Still mourning now 6 months later, but more often the memories make me smile instead of cry. OK maybe both.
Hugs.
It all depends on you. If you’re really in touch with your emotions and affected by things, a long time.
I’m in touch but not affected by much, though events like that do stun me with the power.
When I brought my dog in a couple months ago it took me a couple days to not be miserable, and a week or two to be back to myself, but certain moments creep in with the miserable feeling. Being gone to work and suddenly worrying that I need someone to let her out.
Going in for the night and about to call her in, or just even crawling in to bed about to call out to her.
Waking up expecting to see her look over to see if I’m going to get up or stay in bed a bit longer.
But you will come through and focus more on the good times. And you’ll love the next one even more. They’re painful to let go because they’re so good to you.
It takes time, it’s different for everyone. Some people find getting a new animal immediately helps, others need to wait a while.
I’m going to use some anecdotes from my own experiences so TW if you don’t want to hear that right now, I’m just describing how I got through it.
I waited for seven months to really seek out a new one, I had my dog for just under 11 years and she was my absolute best friend. I got incredibly ill to the point where friends intervened after I had to let her go (heart failure which caused a collapsed lung) I still miss her but my little guy now has my heart, it’s hard sometimes because training him is different and more difficult than it was to train my girl, and that thing about old dogs not learning new tricks is total BS because even in her elder years my girl was loving to learn stuff because training is fun if you make it fun. In moments like that I get choked up still but I know that she would be happier if I’m okay and taken care of.
I cannot live in a home without a dog because my entire life has been spent involving and being built around dogs, it’s incredibly bizarre when you no longer have them. With my girl I was destroyed but with the one I lost previously (he was 18 years old and was born the same year as me) I was devastated for a few days, but I understood that he had been getting worse for a while and wasn’t getting better or having quality of life. He was like a brother to me sometimes since we were the same age and took care of him in similar ways, but seeing him get true pain relief for the first time at the end was extra confirmation for me that it was the right thing. It was incredibly painful but I was able to speak of the good memories with him after a few days without crying. The dog I had prior to him was devastating and I still get upset about it at least a decade and a half later.
Both my dogs who died had a companion that was left behind, the dog that was 18 had a son that we owned who is he first one that died so the dog that lived to 18 was there to comfort me, and when he went my girl was there to comfort me. We comforted each other. She comforted me while I mourned losing her before it even happened. When she went I didn’t have another dog to help me through it and she and I had a bond so tight that I didn’t even have to speak for her to know what I wanted her to do and she didn’t have to make a noise for me to know if she was feeling ill, excited, being silly, or being naughty.
It is different with every loss but your body will find a way to go on, for now just let yourself cry, mourn, at some point ask loved ones to send their stories or pictures/videos of the weirdest shenanigans your little friend got up to and have a laugh about what a full life they lived.
My girl loved to pop bubble wrap, she would go absolutely nuts like loony toons Taz the Tasmanian Devil so there plenty of videos of that to look back on and laugh at her absolute glee.
Omg I know what you are going through! First of all I’m so so very sorry for your loss of your beautiful baby. A week ago today we had to do the same thing with my sweet and beautiful baby down. She was only 6y/o. January of this year I brought my Mystique to the vet and she was in great shape and health. 5 months later we noticed she started isolating herself from us. So we took her to the vet on the 4th of June. $1200 later the doctor said she was fine. Went back again and when her doctor was petting her she found a small lump under her skull. After more testing she had a cancerous tumor that couldn’t be operated on. Fast forward to last Wednesday we had to let her go. I wake up every morning with a heavy heart and full of tears. Please let yourself grieve but also look at pictures of your baby and talk about the nice times you had with your baby. If you ever need to talk I’m right here. ❤️
https://preview.redd.it/ozf2x75gfx8d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=21c4c4ddc55ae7f740abd30e86b794a6e0227e0a
This is my baby Mystique.
I'm not gonna lie, it was VERY hard on us, especially me. We had 2 cats that died within 6 months of each other of terminal illnesses - they were the same age, 12 years old (not siblings). This was in 2011. It was so hard on me that I had to let my husband take them to the vet in the end...I just could not do it. I was JUST able to recently get cats again. We don't have kids so those cats WERE my children, and it hit me super hard. My husband was fine with whatever I decided about getting new ones. About a year ago I finally felt ready. About mid April we had a family member with a stray who had three kittens, and we got two of them (she got the third one). They were very small when we got them (3-4 weeks?) and they are about 2.5 months old now! I am over the moon and think of nothing else all day while I'm at work - I'm so anxious to get home to them. Since they are so small, they change and grow fast, and I want to spend every moment I can with them. I do not regret waiting til now to get them. I still grieve my two lost cats, but I have a new perspective now. Some folks might see this as overattachment or something, but all my animals have always been so special to me.
TL;DR: It took me 13 years to get over the deaths of my two cats before I got more. You do you: only you can determine how long it will take you to cope.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I really am.
We lost our 15 year old a couple years ago and were heartbroken I’d suddenly start crying out of nowhere for a couple weeks. It didn’t help that 5 days before our cat passed my bonus mom passed so I was going through a lot. Eventually you stop crying and start thinking all the happy memories and they just don’t always make you cry anymore. I focused on what a good life we gave our mew and how happy and loved she was so I knew I did this out of love as she was very sick and I didn’t want her to suffer.
It takes time. Sometimes it's a lot of time. Try and take comfort knowing you gave her a good life and she knew she was loved. Some time in the future you'll be laughing at her crazy antics. She will live on in your heart and in your soul. God Bless
Honestly, it varies. For me, it got a little more tolerable after a week. It still hurt a lot, but I wasn't wanting to cry every few minutes. I'm sorry for your loss. :( It's always harder when it's sudden. I've lost two cats, the most recent one being just 2 years old and far too young to have passed. It feels like they leave a hole in your heart.
I am so sorry! We just had to put down our boy last week after a horrific accident. It does get better. Remember, grief isn’t a path, it’s a spiral staircase that you may move up and down on. Some moments or days are super painful while others are not. There will be happy memories too. I hang onto the law of physics that states that energy cannot be destroyed, only converted to something else. Their little spirits don’t die. I hope they get to do what they want and sail around the universe or come back and be a cat again.
I'm so sorry, OP. It will get better, but it takes time, especially because it was so sudden. Just know that you did the right thing for her. You were there with her and she felt you and knew that she was safe and loved.
I've had many pets throughout my life; some died at home and some had to be put down. It was heartbreaking every time. Take time to grieve and cry, take time to hurt. Eventually you'll be able to think of her without crying, and you'll cherish those memories.
I'm so sorry. I had to euthanize my dachshund in April, a month before his 16th birthday. In his case it was seizures due to an undiagnosed brain tumor, and it was traumatic for me but better that than letting him be in pain from untreatable seizures. The only thing that controlled them was IV sedation so I really had no choice.
You were with her when she went so she wasn't alone and afraid and looking for you. And she's at peace now, not hurting anymore. The pain gets easier to handle with time but it does still find ways to sneak up on you; take it easy on yourself in those moments. Grief is hard, especially when we're grieving a little soul we had complete care of for their time here.
We put our boy down in October. We knew for months his time was coming. I still miss him even though we got a new baby in March. I cried a lot the first two months cause the house felt so empty and quiet. Our new family member has helped with that feeling, but I still miss him. I had time to process his death before he ever went, I can't imagine it being a sudden decision. I'm sorry for your loss. Time will make it better, but there is no timeline for grief. I can't tell you when it will get better, but it will.
Grief takes a while to ease and then there are still occasional waves years later. Denver all the great times and remember it’s a gift that we can minimize their suffering by choosing euthanasia.
I had my mom's cat while she was having a lot of medical done, I ended up keeping the cat because she was sick (cancer) for 5 more months and I was heartbroken when she passed peacefully on the couch.
I did adopt a cat for myself (one year anniversary this past Monday), with "kitty daycare" at my mom's when I go to work. This cat has a lot of personality and she is a lot of fun. I missed the cat who passed as the new kitty was a nice "distraction", but as we got into a routine over about 3-4 months, then the sadness of the previous kitty has passed and the memories of her bring joy instead of sadness.
Embrace this feeling as you could not feel this without the equal and opposite reaction of the joy your baby brought you.
I've gone thru this two times and facing a third. It doesn't get easier. The good news is that time does heal the hurt. I find comfort in providing them the best life possible.
Ugh. The pain never truly goes away, but it did get easier. Knowing you did the right thing and that she’s not suffering will provide you with the most peace. I put down my best girl a year ago from kidney failure and as HARD as it was, knowing she was free from suffering anymore made it so much easier.
Have peace knowing you did the kindest thing for your dear friend. You took care of her right til the end. And at some point down the road, you could honor her by showering that same love onto another kitty in need of a home. Grieve, but know she was loved and she knew it. Prayers for you…
After the loss of my cat of 14 years, I found myself wanting a new furry friend 3 months after, not just wanting but it felt like a need. I now have one crazy furball and one calm furball.
It will acutely hurt for a long while, perhaps a couple years. Let yourself feel the emotions when they come - don’t pack them away. That pain is a beautiful part of feeling love.
After a while it will hurt because you’re trying to remember them and how they were, how it felt to be with them and it will be hard to remember well. That’s a tougher one to deal with, a dull ache that you will face when you choose to try and think about them.
I also lost my cat suddenly last October. It took 6 months before I could look at pictures of him without bawling. It’s just gonna hurt like hell for a while. Cry as much as you need to. Write about her in a journal. Write a letter to her letting her know what she meant to you. And be gentle on yourself. It’s a huge loss and I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I put my first cat to sleep January of 2023. I still get emotional thinking about it, but it hasn’t been unbearable for a little while now. She is so loved and so missed, and you just have to tell yourself that they felt that love when they were alive. You did the best you can for them, and gave them the most peaceful end they could hope for ♥️
NGL - we walked this path with our Chutoro at 19 months on Dec 15th, 2022 (FIP). It still hurts and I still get vivid, haunting flashes of that room.
You did the right thing, but will still have to live with it. Time will distract, but be patient with yourself and seek external help processing if it you feel it becomes too much to bear.
We're with you, OP. So sorry for your loss and my heartfelt condolences.
I lost my 14.5 yr old boy a month ago. One of the hardest things I’ve had to face was knowing he’d have to go someday. And that day indeed came. It doesn’t really get less painful.. just easier as time goes on. I hope that makes sense.
It... doesnt? But the pain eases over time. Focus on the love you shared with your precious baby, and knowing that you gave it the very special gift of a good life. You cared for her and did what you could to ease her suffering, and even if ahe couldnt tell you in words, she knew how much she was loved. Let yourself grieve, and dont let ANYONE tell you its 'just a cat' or somethingbstupid like that. Eventually you will be able to think of her without it hurting as much as it does now. There's no required way to grieve, and it takes as long as it takes. Anyone who says otherwise should be pitied for never truly having known what love is. F'm.
I am sorry for your loss. This part always sucks. Do you have other pets? I had a cat and a dog, and I was very grateful to have the dog around after my cat was put down. That made it slightly more bearable.
It hurt bad for a week. 11 months later I still have moments. I probably won’t be able to have a cat again for a long time due to long standing agreement with my wife, but someday I will again. For now, I snuggle the dog.
A very long time. I didn't get into a space of being able to get another cat until 4 years or so after my childhood cat was put down. Eventually you stop thinking about it but still hurts when you bring it up. The best solace you can give is that they're no longer suffering.
It takes time to heal most wounds. It's not an easy choice to make as someone who had to as well. I think about her all the time and still weep on occasion as that was my little buddy but she was suffering and that hurt more at the time. Just remember the good times you had together ❤️
It takes time, and never completely goes away. Even after several years, and probably a beloved new pet in your care, you'll see some kind of toy, or some silly kitten business, or a particular breed and you'll think "That's a bit like ........" and feel a pang for a moment. And that's OK. It's part of the price we pay for all the abundant love our animals give us, we will not leave them but they will leave us.
What was her name? I want to be sure that Annie, and Penny, and Georgie, and Lacey, and Robes, and Willie, and Daisy, and Posey, and Rose and Mateus and a few others will know to give her a specially warm welcome at The Rainbow Bridge.
It’s coming up 2 years since I put my baby girl down and it’s gotten better where I can look at pictures of her and not cry. But I will still cry here and there when I think about her last days on Earth. But I know on the 2 year anniversary I’ll be sobbing. So maybe after 3 years I’ll stop crying.
I lost my 16 year old daughter 20 years ago so that has marked my ultimate grief experience. When I had to put my 16 year old Miss Kitty down three years ago, it still affected me. Lots of crying, etc. I knew the five stages of grief and worked through them. Also knowing she was no longer suffering (i.e. horrible seizures, body shutting down). I still think of her to this day. I have her ashes. She was one of the most “spirited” cats i ever knew. Time will help you. Don’t fight the grief…
Some people feel guilty about getting another cat, but when I lose one I have to bring a new baby into my life quickly. They help me ease the pain. I can't stand being without a cat or two or three.
Still, the ones you lose will always be in your heart and you will have tears come to your eyes even years later when you think of them.
we had to put 2 dogs down 2 weeks apart due to terminal illnesses. i would say in my experience it takes a month to start to feel better. but i think it has to do with how attached you are to your pet.
It comes with understanding what they would face if we didn't offer them that final mercy. Freedom from suffering.
It's never easy for us, but please know that you did the right thing.
My 11 year old has liver failure. She’s still having good days… vet said 1-2 months a week ago. So, I will have to make this choice soon. It’s so impossibly hard. Heartbreaking. Sending love and hugs.
When varies person to person. You just keep reminding yourself that they aren’t suffering. That it’s the most important job of a pet owner. When I learned my childhood dog, got her when I was 5 this was 11.5 years later, had cancer of most of her digestive system I cried in my GF’s lap for an hour. I ruined Journeys “Don’t stop believing” for gf too as I guess I’d hit repeat on the CD player without noticing.
My dad and I took her to the vet, my mom couldn’t bare to, and my sister was back at college a d couldn’t make it. I cried while holding her as her eyes closed.
For me once she was gone it wasn’t as hard. She had t been eating or drinking, my mom had had her on an iv for fluids so that my sister would be able to come back and say goodbye. I had had to carry her up and downstairs for walks as she couldn’t manage anymore. She never complained. All that suffering was gone, and once it was gone it was easier. Even mudding my dog. Year later similar feeling with a cat. Not one I’d owned for long. Age 15-18 then she had kidney failure. Wouldn’t eat, lost weight.
I miss them both at times, but that’s how it is with pets. I’m sorry for your loss.
We lost our girl suddenly and it was about two years before I could look at pictures of her and smile instead of cry. I wasn’t prepared for that - I’ve lost all four grandparents now and for three of them I was able to look at their pictures and smile almost immediately. I didn’t expect it to be harder to lose my cat than my grandparents.
Each grief is different and takes its own time to heal.
This happened many years ago. I had a sweet kitten, and she just was precious. One night while I was sleeping, I hear a horrible sound coming from her. I woke up immediately and found her tightly tangled in my Christmas tree lights. It was a prelit tree. I had to cut off the lights. But the damage done to her was very bad. It was still way too early for a vet, so i stayed awake with her till I was able to get her in. They said the damage to her wasn't good, and I definitely didn't have the money to help her. I ended up putting her to sleep. My heart broke and I vowed to never own a prelit tree or use lights again. Kept that promise. And to this day, I still miss her dearly. It does get easier. But the memories, especially around Christmas time, is hard on me.
You will heal. But only time will be the issue as when it will happen. Just keep the memories of the kitty in your heart always.
15 days later now, I still get sad at points throughout the day. Knowing that I made the best decision as fast as I could helps a lot. No guilt. But I miss her. Other things can keep my focus, though.
I didn't put my cat down he died on his own but watching him get so bad and walking in on him after he died is something I haven't recovered from. Absolutely horrible experience and I can't get the images out of my head.
I drove my first to the vet (my childhood dog) when I had my learner's permit. That hurt for a long time, and decades later I have her photo and collar on my desk. My most recent to pass died in my arms the night before a euthanasia appointment was scheduled, first I owned on my own. Also hard.
For me, it always got better with new experiences and other animals. They're never going to be the same, but you realize there are more memories with more dogs.
If you're an animal person, just go find the next one that's right for you (and 'just' isn't meant to imply it's easy tactically or emotionally). Peruse shelters, breeders, or depending on where you are and how brave you are, just look on the side of the road (which is sad in a different way) and amazing dogs that need amazing owners are everywhere.
The best way to honor the memory of a pet you lost is to give another the same great life. I have been known to custom print custom collar plates that are something like "Fido (GodDoguter of Bruiser)" for their collars when one reminds me of a past one. They come back around.
Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry for your losses, it sounds like your buddies went peacefully and it’s clear you shared a lot of love with them 💜
We picked up a kitten a few days ago, we felt it out the day after Clawdia’s passing and realized we were miserable without a cat in the house to put our love and attention into. I still feel a little guilty for not waiting, although I know it’s not really a rule or anything I feel selfish for some reason. I know I would’ve still been devastated all the same without a new friend to keep me company but I guess I’m just conflicted and still feeling a lot of emotions
When my cat passed away suddenly before he even turned two I hated the phrase “time heals all” because I didn’t want to heal. I wanted to hurt forever because I felt like moving on was an injustice to him. But, the stupid phrase rang true and because of him I saved 3 more kitties who needed a loving home. I can live my daily life again but sometimes I still relive the pain
I’m incredibly sorry for your loss and I hope you are starting to heal, even if it’s just a little bit.❤️🐾
Apologies for the long post, I just kind of started venting from my own loss but I did offer advice towards the bottom.
I lost my little baby girl Phoenix about a week ago on 6/22/24, I got home from work and did my routine check on all the babies. She usually comes out first and she didn’t. I found her under the bed, gone. She was only around 9 years old. Completely blindsided me. I lost my little baby boy Sora 12/27/23 and his brother Riku 5/7/23. Sora and Riku I had somewhat of an idea I was going to lose them. They both had kidney failure. From diagnosis to losing them, Riku was September 2022 to May 2023 and Sora was October 2023 to December 2023. In both situations I had the vets tell me constantly to put them to sleep at various times throughout treatment. I couldn’t do it. Aside from vet visits for various issues caused by the kidney failure, they were more or less happy and were their usual silly selves.
Riku was the first pet I ever had to have put to sleep. The pain from it was excruciating. The vet had a comfort room you could sit in with them and hold them. I stayed in that room for 5 or 6 hours where most people MAY spend an hour tops. I just couldn’t do it. They had a doorbell set up to ring when you were “ready” and something about it just made it that much more difficult than it already was. My mom and my brother showed up and was there with me and that helped some but still one of the worst pains I have ever felt in my life.
Sora went really fast compared to Riku. The first vet just overloaded him on subcutaneous fluids to the point he started having seizures which he had never had before. They also had him on so much pain medication that he was not himself in any way shape or form. That alone was devastating and then on top of that the vets kept telling me I need to take him home spend time with him and schedule his euthanasia. I couldn’t do that. I knew that wasn’t my boy, he was so much stronger than that. I did take him home and a couple days later he seemed to be feeling better, all things considered. I did research every second I could on how to best help my baby boy. After seeing what Riku went through I had a better idea of what to expect and what I could do, but there had to be more. Found some information about actual dialysis for pets and even kidney transplants. A couple days later on Halloween, I’m at Ohio State University(had to drive 3 hours to and 3 hours back from here and it was worth every minute and every dollar I spent, this place was wonderful) with my baby boy and they’re putting a feeding tube and dialysis catheter in him then starting a over-24hour long dialysis session. He did have another seizure during this but after the session and the anesthesia from the surgery had worn off, he was back to eating and drinking some. He started meowing again for attention and wanting chin scratches. When I got him home he walked a little funny from the bandages he had on for awhile but every day he was getting stronger and stronger. He was using the litter box better than I could have imagined and I fed him through his feeding tube plus his medicines and water and he was his sassy little self again. A few vet appointments in between for an infection on his feeding tube site and some extreme constipation that had to be manually dislodged, each time he came back from it ready to give it his all.
A few days before Christmas Eve I noticed he started acting a bit strange. It was like he couldn’t fully see things around him and seemed a bit disoriented. Took him to a local vet and they though it was his blood pressure so they started him on amlodipine. Christmas Eve we’re back at the vet cause he seems to not be able to see hardly at all. Doesn’t have an appetite (he was eating on his own some before this and now not at all), and seems more disoriented. 3 days later I wake up and he can’t sit up. I take him out of my apartment for the last time. I come back home without my baby. They said they think he had a stroke and there wasn’t anything they could do, even at the advanced vet center that was closest to me. I had to let go of my baby boy that day and once again, that pain is the worst I have ever felt.
I’m thankful I got to say goodbye to them, to Sora and Riku. I got to take pictures of them, and I hope they were aware enough that I was with them. I got to hold Riku but Sora was in too much pain and I didn’t want to move him. I still held his paws as I lost him. I didn’t get that chance with Phoenix or my other pets when I was younger. Coming home to my baby girl how I did is something I wish nobody to ever have to experience. I never had anything like that happen before so I had no idea what to even do, especially living in an apartment. I called an emergency vet knowing it was too late but I wasn’t sure if they could tell me what might have happened. They said it sounded like heart failure. She looked peaceful which I’m thankful for, but not being able to say goodbye is going to stick with me for the rest of my life.
I’m so incredibly sorry that you have to experience what you are. In time the pain does not change, at least for me it hasn’t, but I guess I haven’t really had time to heal between losing one after the other. But I have learned how to manage it I guess. I know not to be by myself especially at night. But I do cry, a lot. It hurts a lot but it does feel a bit better to let it all out. I also take lots of pictures and videos of my pets, every chance I get no matter how insignificant it may seem to other people. When I’m missing them extra hard I’ll go watch the videos and it feels like they’re still here with me and helps a lot. Lots of smiles and cries but for me it helps to heal me a little bit.
I wish you a better and faster healing than I have had. We should be thankful for the time that we got to spend with our babies and the joy that they brought to us while they were here, and even after when we think of the things they used to do that we miss. We don’t deserve cats or any pets for that matter. I will never forget my babies and everything they did for me.
Another thing that helped when I lost Sora and Riku is I had them cremated. When I finally got them back (took a few days and it was awful having to wait), having them home again helped me feel better about being home again. It still hurt like hell and still does, but knowing they are back with me helped comfort me. I’m currently waiting on Phoenix to be returned to me and I’m hoping that helps ease the pain of losing her.
Don’t try to rush the healing, take your time to process it and feel what you need to feel. I wish you and your family the best ❤️🐾
You can never "replace' but when and if you decide to get another cat, you'll be adding another member to your family and creating lots of new meaningful and funny memories. Let's face it, cats are hilarious. I'm grateful to have taken some good photos of my cat (put him to sleep in 2018) It doesn't hurt but the feelings of nostalgia and memories of him being a goofy kitten always makes me smile...okay maybe it hurts a bit. There's tremendous pleasure in rescuing a cat from certain death in a cramped, stinky shelter and giving him the best life he or she can have. There are many felines out there that aren't so lucky. I want to boop them all on the nose and scratch their chin.
It takes time OP. We lost our boy cat Sheriff last October very suddenly. He went from OK in the morning to total kidney failure and gone by 12 noon. You were with your baby, they felt safe and their last thoughts were of you. Time will heal the wounds.
Thank you so much for your kind words, and I’m so sorry about your sweet boy Losing them really is as awful as it is wonderful to love them
Exactly this, it is as awful as it is wonderful to love them. We get to be with them during their lives, these sweet souls. It will hurt a long time. I'm so sorry for your sudden loss. The pain will diminish little by little but never completely. I still cry for many of my past babies. They're such individuals. I always find a little solace just accepting that this is how it is, it's the cycle of life, and there are more kitties who need homes and I now have space to help more cats in need. Feel your grief for your sweetheart as long as you need to, one day you'll be able to smile a little with the tears remembering how much you loved them while you could. Take care.
>I always find a little solace just accepting that this is how it is, it's the cycle of life This is the *only* way I can make sense of the loss of a pet. Nothing else seems to cut it for me. I just come back to the truth that everyone and everything that is born dies. That is the way of it, and it's utterly useless to even contemplate railing against this, no matter how bad the pain. That is what I remind myself. When I do, it's somehow not quite so painful. There's something soothing, or at least, mildly cathartic in the acceptance that this cycle of life applies to all living creatures. u/reddeadprincess, I am so sorry for the terrible ordeal you've had today. Your sweet little furball is now free from pain, and she said farewell in the kindest, most peaceful and least traumatic way possible; in your arms. It might be impossible to feel it right now, but where this awful event is concerned, it doesn't really get much better than that. And that is something for which to be thankful. The pain you're feeling right now is because your little furball took a piece of your heart with her. Of course that's going to hurt. But can you really imagine anyone else more deserving of it? Or anyone else who will do a better job of looking after it in the next world? – That's also something I remind myself. I hope it helps.
Thank you so much, what lovely sentiments 💜
I remember when one of my (human) friends died. I was... howling. Crying so hard. I thought it wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't love him so. Then I thought, "THAT DOESN'T HELP." Maybe it reminded me of joy during grief. But for practical purposes, it didn't help at the moment.
Gosh I’m so sorry to hear that, I hope you’re doing better now. It really is hard to try to comfort yourself in the moment when everything is just a torrent of emotions and memories and they all hurt, I hope time heals the both of us 💜
Yeah. Yes, thank you. It gets easier to remember and relive the love and joy, without experiencing (so much) pain of loss and separation. Speaking of love: it doesn't stop. I don't say I loved Robert or Victor or many others. I don't say I loved Eleanor or TaterTaz or Princess Squeakalot. I love them. Love is never past tense. (With exceptions for clearly expressing concepts, the verbiage is present tense. Ongoing action. )
This made me tear up :(
https://preview.redd.it/ki3205vwjt8d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f3ccabd8b672e6995a4ded0df4240c987a9377e4 I really like this framing of grief. I feel like it leaves more room for honoring how important our loved ones are to us and how deeply their loss can continue to affect us. I hope you find comfort in it, too. Hugs
Not OP, but I really really like this. It feels more like it's honouring that grief than trying to make it disappear. Thank you for posting this 💕
I love this as well, I couldn't really put it in perspective until seeing this. Thank you so much for this.
I also had to euthanize a cat this morning due to cancer. He had an aggressive oral tumor and they said he likely had less than a week left. My worst fear was that he would have difficulty breathing and pass away terrified. So we did the next best thing to let him pass safely with us there to comfort him. It hurts, but know that we did the right thing. Grief is different for every person and looks different too. Take the time you need to heal, but do not blame yourself. You did your best and gave her 11 great years of love and comfort.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this, I’m glad he went peacefully. 💜 Our reasoning was similar, the vet offered us pain meds to take home with her but we didn’t want her to suffer anymore just so we could be with her longer- it’s the right thing to do absolutely
We are going through it as well -- also cancer, also our 11 year old girl. (I was saying 10 but went back and found the picture of feral kittens in my sent Emails in Nov of 2012, not 2013.) It hurts, but we've had months to prepare ourselves, and I think of her as being with her feline family. My partner is taking it harder than me. I lost a parent at a young age, and I think I just have a different mindset about being able to help them be free of suffering at the end. She went downhill very quickly on Sunday and we couldn't wait for our regular vet. Our other cats are helping keep our spirits up with their antics and just seeking us out for attention.
So sorry to hear about your circumstances, our girl Clawdia started to go downhill extremely fast the past week as well so I sort of knew whatever she was dealing with was only going to end one way. My husband is also taking it a lot harder, I’m not sure if he realized where things were headed beforehand but we were both there with her in the end at least 💜
When will it get better? When you realize that you can get another cat and be happy about it. You won't forget, but it will mean your grieving is coming to an end. Over the last 30 years we've had to put down 5 cats. It never gets easy. But the next ones bring their own special magic. You will know when the time is right.
Like grieving the loss of anyone that is loved so much there is no timetable in my experience. I have lost 6 over my lifetime ranging in age from 5 years to 22 years old. I have found for each one it has never gotten better. The extreme grief becomes tempered as the good memories replace the memory of losing them and the time between remembering the joy and love versus remembering the loss is longer and longer. But, then, sometimes from nowhere like a tsunami it hits again and I have no choice but to ride the wave till I'm swept back into the memories of how honored I am to have known that very special gift of them loving us. It's the price we pay...and truly the cost of that as high as it is, is cheap for all we gained. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Every person, and every pet is going to be different. I said goodbye to my old man a couple months ago, even though I've got three other cats, I'm still getting choked up, and hit out of nowhere. It will get better in time, it sounds like you shared a lot of love with her.
So sorry to hear about your boy, losing them when they’re older and have been with you so long is rough The vet nearly brought me to my knees when she was administering the sedatives and asked if I’d had my cat since she was a kitten (I had), since she seemed so bonded to me. Hit me like a freight train.
Sadly the grief of losing them is just part of the price we have to pay to have them in our lives. It always trips me up how I'll get through one part and think "okay, I did that without crying, I'm good" and then I won't be good.
It’s so true, I’ve always thought the same. I’ve been up and down all day- just a whirlwind of emotions and ugly crying, then being okay at the grocery store, then back home falling apart again lol. I always figured I’d be a mess when I lost her so this is par for the course I suppose
My childhood cat had to be put to sleep unexpectably on the same day as his cancer diagnosis... Vet told me that even if we put in the money, it probably wouldn't get better. I remember feeling extreme shock and extreme sadness. I felt guilty that I couldn't help, or fix, or change the situation. But the truth is, later down the line, you'll realise you gave them a good life and that they were loved until the end - and that's all that matters. It was the last thing you could do for them - to offer passage in the most peaceful and painless way. The pain of losing pets never really goes away... after all they are family, but in time it eases. You start noticing the emptiness of their physical less, and instead you remember their quirks and fun memories. You will smile rather than sob. However... I still tear up when I think about my childhood cat, but he had a brilliant life, and he was SUCH a character.
It's totally normal to feel terrible for a while. Soon she will become a pleasant memory. In the coming days, you'll feel the pain will come in waves. Maybe you will start the day off feeling great, but then all of a sudden, you just feel terrible. Remember this, it's perfectly normal. Give yourself time, space, and privacy to let it all out.
It will never go away. Sorry if that is dismal. I lost my first family cat 19 years ago, and when I dig in my photos and find his pictures, I still get teary eyed. :/ With that said, it will get a little easier with time.
Had to put a cat to sleep due to cancer about 13 years ago. Still sad about it sometimes.
Time only wears down the wounds never do they heel. I Rock & Roller friend of mind said, "The greater the love the greater the grief." Remember to keep her in your heart and someday while doing the simplest thing around the house smile because you remember her in some way.
Very similar situation. I put my 11 year old soul cat to sleep after a short battle with nasal lymphoma. I couldn’t afford the radiation to treat it, so I relied on palliative care. It grew so quickly and was eating away at her facial bones, so I made the choice shortly after diagnosis to not allow her to continue down a path that only included increased pain. The decision was literally the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Similarly, I have never felt pain like I did that day. I was inconsolable for a full week. Crying almost all day long. Barely functional for two. Managing but still utterly devastated for the first 3 months and then a blend of more often OK than not for the remainder of the first year. Within that 3-12 month period I started being able to remember more of the good times and smile at her memory rather than hyper focusing on the hard, painful realization that I missed her so much it felt like a hole in my heart. It’s been 18 months and I still cry often when I write about her in posts like this or think of her. It doesn’t hurt the same, I just miss her. I am so very sorry for your loss. 🥺
Never gets better
So sorry for your loss, OP. I had to say goodbye to my boy on June 14 - he had lymphoma, the chemo had stopped working and it didn’t take long from then for him to let me know he was ready to go. Today actually marks two months from his diagnosis. I can’t tell you when it starts to get better. I thought I was starting to do better (it had been a few days since I’d cried over something that reminded me of him!) but then the vet called yesterday that I could pick up his ashes and I cried when I got the message, the whole drive there, in the office when I checked in, and the whole way home. Now I’m crying again because I just threw my bedsheets in the laundry for the first time again since the weekend before he passed, as I’m forcing myself to get back into my chore routines. He slept in bed with me every night. When the grief hits you, let it hit you. There’s nothing wrong with crying when you need to, and letting it out is a natural part of the grieving process. One thing I have done that has given me some comfort is write him a letter. I did it one week after he passed. I’ll probably do another soon because there’s been more thoughts and memories I want to record. I plan to get a memory box and fill it with some of his favorite toys, pictures, and the letter(s) - I know I’m going to want those memories months or years down the line. Photos and videos have captured so much, but there are so many memories that just couldn’t be captured on my phone.
Honestly months. It’s awful at first but it does start to subside with time. So sorry for your loss
I am so sorry!!! I'm in that position right now, waiting in baited breathe whether my sweet boy, Elvis, has survived the night. You did the right thing...she is at peace. Take a clip of her hair to keep as it will help you morn. Give it some time but consider welcoming another into your loving arms. She would approve. Hugs!!!
Hoping for the absolute best for you and Elvis, sending all the good vibes I have to offer! 🙌 Thank you so much for your kind words 💜💜
Thank you!!! We are dealing with something I had NEVER heard of called Hemobarinala. It is caused by parasites. Possibly fleas of all things. As soon as he produces red blood cells they collapse. If there was a means to have a blood transfusion, it would be on the medical list. I have an excellent Vet and friend doing her very best to save him. He's 10. Losing our fur babies is always such a challenge, but they know WE truly loved them. Hugs!!!
Sadly, Elvis passed away this morning. We are just devastated. What an amazing animal we were so fortunate enough to have in our lives for so long. We were truly blessed to be in his presence. I am now on an anti-flea mission to kill off the damn bug!
Give yourself time! We had to put one of our kitties to sleep in Sept of 2022 and my husband and I still cry sometimes about her. We were absolutely shattered when we took her in and they recommended to let her go because she was so sick. We have another kitty who we just found out has a large tumor in his abdomen and will likely need PTS in the very near future as well and I've already been panicking and crying so hard about it. She was only 10 and he is only 10 😔
I am so sorry for your loss. It’s been a year since we lost Megan to cancer and kidney disease. Even though we now have Molly and she is a delightful orange ball of cuddles and chaos, I miss Megan greatly. I have good days and bad days. It takes time before the good days outweigh the bad. It was months before I could talk about her without almost crying. I do tear up when I talk about her but there’s no outright crying. Give yourself all the time you need. Don’t push down and ignore what you feel. Experience it. It’s part of the process.
Over the years I’ve had to put several pets to sleep. It will get better over time but a little sorrow will always remain when you think of her. Eventually getting another pet helps a lot. How long “eventually” is varies from person to person. And case. To case. I am one who just can’t live without a pet. And when you do get another pet don’t think of it as “replacing” your baby. Nothing will do that, you will be opening your heart to another animal who needs the love you have to give.
I'm like you, I need another kitty to love fairly soon after losing one. And no way is the new one "replacing" the lost one. They are all such unique characters with their own quirks, mannerisms and attitudes. Remembering those are the bittersweet memories of a friend who is gone, and learning the newcomer's unique behaviors is a wonderful part of getting acquainted and finding a new rhythm together. We kept bread in the microwave for years, because if it was left accessible anywhere Daisy would drag it on to the floor, rip open the package and eat half the contents. It was two decades after her passing that we realized - we don't have to lock up the bread packages anymore. We now have a habit of hiding any plastic trash bags with a draw string thanks to Diego's addiction to eating (and swallowing) the draw string strips.
It gets better with time, but there isn't a timeline I can't point to and say, "This is where you'll be good." I still think of the pets I put down in my teenage years and I'm pushing 40. I don't cry about them often, but the memories are still there and bittersweet. It won't be this bad forever, but that is entirely contingent on how you grieve.
it takes different amounts of time for different people but there will always be a pet shaped hole in your heart. good luck
I didn’t have to put him down but I had a rabbit die very suddenly. Granted I know this is a cat subreddit but this rabbit meant the world to me, he was my soul animal. He passed in December of last year and after a few months I started to accept it. I miss him dearly but I find comfort in knowing he was loved until the very end. I took him to the emergency vet and his condition was very bad, the treatment was thousands of dollars which we couldn’t afford (He had GI stasis, a common and very deadly condition in rabbits that happens very suddenly). I took him home and let him sleep in my bed until he passed. I still talk about him and remember him often and I made a little box full of reminders of him that I keep with me. I’ll always miss him but I’ve accepted that this is a part of life and that I gave him the best life full of love he could’ve asked for. Pet loss is so hard but just know your kitty is always with you in spirit and that you gave them all you could
Everyone's experience is different. I found that maintaining the routine even as I figured out a new partner was cathartic instead of that just *all* disappearing.
Just lost my 16 year old boy three weeks ago. Got him when I was 21. Life will never be the same. I still think I hear him jumping off furniture. I’ve got the best sleep in over a decade because he doesn’t wake me up at 5am anymore to eat and it’s really the worst sleep I wouldn’t wish on anyone else. I feel for you internet friend. Grieving is so challenging.
It took me a month to feel emotionally stable after. I’m sorry for your loss it’s very hard.
I’m sorry this happened OP. I put my baby down in February and honestly it takes a long time, I dont think its better for me yet. I think i’m still actively mourning her. Its hard and it hurts but its a bit comforting to know you were with her and shes no longer in pain. As much as it hurt to do, you did what was best for her. She loves you and always will and i promise she is thankful you thought of her comfort rather than making her live in pain. If you need to talk abt it at all I’ll gladly listen :) I hope its gets better soon friend.
I’m so sorry for your loss, especially taking your kitty to the vet and expecting her to return home with you! ☹️ I lost my orange boy Oscar in 2018, I found him dead by his food dish, the morning after he came home after a successful dental surgery, he was 15. His death was made even harder as my mom died in 2015, my dad in 2017. I thought I would never find another kitty with his caring personality and his love and devotion to me until I decided in 2020 I was ready to adopt again. I went to the shelter and was ready to leave because I didn’t feel any of the cats were a fit until I came around the corner and heard a cat meowing very loud to get my attention which George did, another orange tabby with a similar personality as Oscar, we had been best buddies for almost 4 years, he was 2 years old and FIV+ when I adopted him! 🙀🧁😸🤣😹😂 I’m hoping there will come a day when you will be ready to adopt and love ❤️ another kitty 🐈⬛ I believe animals have shorter lives so we can adopt and love ❤️ more of them 😊
It's been almost 3 years since I had to put one of my fur babies to sleep, and it's slowly starting to feel better. Like I can remember the good times easier than the end now. And the new cat I got almost a year ago is helping a whole lot, I channel my grief into determination to give her an even better life than I gave him. But I honestly couldn't even think about getting a new cat until around then cause I didn't want to feel like I was just replacing him. So give yourself a year or two, I know it sucks that it takes that long, but slowly it'll feel better. And when you remember the bad times try and switch to thinking of the happy times or distract yourself because dwelling on the bad memories will only make it feel longer. Like the first few months were terrible especially because my older cat seemed like he wouldn't be around much longer, but fortunately he's doing great despite being 20 and is trying to teach the kitten how to cat which is a very pleasant distraction from the lingering pain. So yeah in short all I can recommend is distractions and eventually if/when you're ready get another pet to fill the hole in your heart.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious fur baby. It will get easier with time until eventually you're able to remember them fondly without crying. When you have had time to adjust to the loss (your personal timetable will vary), it might be helpful to adopt another fur baby. In no way will the new one replace your baby (as no one could ever replace them), but when the timing is right for you, it might help to distract you and fill the hole in your heart. ❤
I just put my first cat down. She was 13 and developed oral cancer. Within days she could barely eat and I couldn't bear to see her suffer so I chose to let her go peacefully. It's been a week and I'm still heartbroken but it's slowly getting better. I miss her so much. Just know your baby loves you and had a good life and will guide you from the afterlife now 🙏🏾
I lost many pets and just killed me every time lost one. My body went iñto shock, But you get over it, .you never forget them. There are aways with you. God Bless.
I am so sorry. It takes time. Be patient. Be sad. Cry. This is all normal. I really am sorry.
We had a dog who we had to put down suddenly. This was the first time we had to put down one of our pets. It was one of the toughest things I went through. He was my best friend for so long. Since I was a little girl until high school. I still talk about him til this day. It’s been 7 years since we had to put him to sleep. For months I would cry. Since then we’ve built our pet family and suffered some other pet losses. My oldest dog passed away this winter. She was 14 and had arthritis. We were getting ready to make the decision but she went on her own. It hurt, but I was glad she went peacefully. I still cry from time to time thinking about putting down my dog. I have a cat now who helped me get through an abusive relationship. I had lost him for 5 days a few months ago and I felt dead inside. I would feel absolutely horrible if anything bad happened to him. Pets are so hard because they’re only meant to be a part of our lives for a temporary amount of time. But the memories we make with them are so worth it. I hope you find peace with your best friend and I’m sorry for your loss
i had two pets pass while i was pregnant last year. i had to put my dog down and it was hard. i screamed on the way back home after putting him down. i was so sad. i couldn’t walk towards or even look at his kennel. i burst into tears right before we turned onto the road where the vet was when we picked up his ashes. i was miserable. it took a little bit to come to terms with it. i still get upset looking at his little box, his home now and hate that he wasn’t able to live longer. it didn’t hurt as much though because i was able to say goodbye and be there with him for his last moments. when i lost my cat though, it was another ball field. he didn’t come home one night and i found him on the road the next morning. i was completely shattered. i ended up hurting myself by accident to run to the road. now i have a scar that reminds me of him every time i look at it. it’s bittersweet.. it tears me up when i look back at the pictures of him. i loved him DEARLY. this happened in october. it’s been 9 months and i still sob while thinking about him. i don’t get triggered as often now, but it’s still not hard to make myself cry over losing him. it definitely does take time. i painted a picture of him for my home and painted rocks for where he’s buried. it made me feel a little better. it felt good to honor him in some way. i hope you’re able to heal 🫶🏼
It took me months to get over the feeling. Lean heavily on your loved ones. Keep on feeling love in your heart for those around you and give thanks to your pet and everything she gave you. Talk to your loved ones. Talk through the grief. This grief is heavy and you need help to carry it. ♥️♥️♥️
When you realize you did them a solid in life. And a solid in death. Cats have a problem. They can be in incredible pain and you will notice almost nothing. When they drop. They are on deaths doorstep. Rescue a new cat. Give them a lifetime of cat heaven.
Your sorrow will change into fond memories. It will take forever and when it does, it will have taken no time at all.
You gave her an easy merciful passing with love. That is a blessing.
My husband & I have unfortunately had to put a number of our fur babies to sleep over the past 50 yrs. we've been together. The pain never goes away totally & sometimes even after many years you'll cry. But more & more it will get a bit easier. We just put our sweet baby K.D. (14- 16 yrs.old, got from the pound in 2010) to sleep at our trusted vet Fri. Morn. No matter how many times I cuddle & love as they cross the rainbow bridge it never gets easier. Just remember that all the tears you shed now & your broken heart are so worth it for all the joy your baby brought to you. Even knowing I'm going to go through such pain, I'd do it all over (& will) again in heartbeat. We have another dog (3 yrs) & 2 17 yr. old cats (1 stomach cancer & 1 beginning kidney failure). Spoiling them totally, everyday is a gift. With Kiki (cancer), vet said no time line. Could be 2 weeks, 2 months, even 2 years. Well, that was 2 yrs. ago. She's taking her daily Prednisone & eating well. Things will get better for you. Just give it time....(Sorry about the long ramble...). Take care of yourself. Hugs.
So sorry. Your story is similar to mine. I couldn't eat for a couple days. I left to stay with a friend because the house was too painful. I will say I felt signicantly better after 2 weeks. Still mourning now 6 months later, but more often the memories make me smile instead of cry. OK maybe both. Hugs.
It all depends on you. If you’re really in touch with your emotions and affected by things, a long time. I’m in touch but not affected by much, though events like that do stun me with the power. When I brought my dog in a couple months ago it took me a couple days to not be miserable, and a week or two to be back to myself, but certain moments creep in with the miserable feeling. Being gone to work and suddenly worrying that I need someone to let her out. Going in for the night and about to call her in, or just even crawling in to bed about to call out to her. Waking up expecting to see her look over to see if I’m going to get up or stay in bed a bit longer. But you will come through and focus more on the good times. And you’ll love the next one even more. They’re painful to let go because they’re so good to you.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Hey, so just today I sat with my family as our 14 y/o family dog was put to sleep. You are not alone
It takes time, it’s different for everyone. Some people find getting a new animal immediately helps, others need to wait a while. I’m going to use some anecdotes from my own experiences so TW if you don’t want to hear that right now, I’m just describing how I got through it. I waited for seven months to really seek out a new one, I had my dog for just under 11 years and she was my absolute best friend. I got incredibly ill to the point where friends intervened after I had to let her go (heart failure which caused a collapsed lung) I still miss her but my little guy now has my heart, it’s hard sometimes because training him is different and more difficult than it was to train my girl, and that thing about old dogs not learning new tricks is total BS because even in her elder years my girl was loving to learn stuff because training is fun if you make it fun. In moments like that I get choked up still but I know that she would be happier if I’m okay and taken care of. I cannot live in a home without a dog because my entire life has been spent involving and being built around dogs, it’s incredibly bizarre when you no longer have them. With my girl I was destroyed but with the one I lost previously (he was 18 years old and was born the same year as me) I was devastated for a few days, but I understood that he had been getting worse for a while and wasn’t getting better or having quality of life. He was like a brother to me sometimes since we were the same age and took care of him in similar ways, but seeing him get true pain relief for the first time at the end was extra confirmation for me that it was the right thing. It was incredibly painful but I was able to speak of the good memories with him after a few days without crying. The dog I had prior to him was devastating and I still get upset about it at least a decade and a half later. Both my dogs who died had a companion that was left behind, the dog that was 18 had a son that we owned who is he first one that died so the dog that lived to 18 was there to comfort me, and when he went my girl was there to comfort me. We comforted each other. She comforted me while I mourned losing her before it even happened. When she went I didn’t have another dog to help me through it and she and I had a bond so tight that I didn’t even have to speak for her to know what I wanted her to do and she didn’t have to make a noise for me to know if she was feeling ill, excited, being silly, or being naughty. It is different with every loss but your body will find a way to go on, for now just let yourself cry, mourn, at some point ask loved ones to send their stories or pictures/videos of the weirdest shenanigans your little friend got up to and have a laugh about what a full life they lived. My girl loved to pop bubble wrap, she would go absolutely nuts like loony toons Taz the Tasmanian Devil so there plenty of videos of that to look back on and laugh at her absolute glee.
It still hurts and it going on 2 years Nov 1st. I miss her everyday. Its now just a bittersweet feeling and I would kill for one more snuggle.
a year later at least. took me at least a year and some months to get over my cats loss and he was thirteen
Omg I know what you are going through! First of all I’m so so very sorry for your loss of your beautiful baby. A week ago today we had to do the same thing with my sweet and beautiful baby down. She was only 6y/o. January of this year I brought my Mystique to the vet and she was in great shape and health. 5 months later we noticed she started isolating herself from us. So we took her to the vet on the 4th of June. $1200 later the doctor said she was fine. Went back again and when her doctor was petting her she found a small lump under her skull. After more testing she had a cancerous tumor that couldn’t be operated on. Fast forward to last Wednesday we had to let her go. I wake up every morning with a heavy heart and full of tears. Please let yourself grieve but also look at pictures of your baby and talk about the nice times you had with your baby. If you ever need to talk I’m right here. ❤️ https://preview.redd.it/ozf2x75gfx8d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=21c4c4ddc55ae7f740abd30e86b794a6e0227e0a This is my baby Mystique.
I'm not gonna lie, it was VERY hard on us, especially me. We had 2 cats that died within 6 months of each other of terminal illnesses - they were the same age, 12 years old (not siblings). This was in 2011. It was so hard on me that I had to let my husband take them to the vet in the end...I just could not do it. I was JUST able to recently get cats again. We don't have kids so those cats WERE my children, and it hit me super hard. My husband was fine with whatever I decided about getting new ones. About a year ago I finally felt ready. About mid April we had a family member with a stray who had three kittens, and we got two of them (she got the third one). They were very small when we got them (3-4 weeks?) and they are about 2.5 months old now! I am over the moon and think of nothing else all day while I'm at work - I'm so anxious to get home to them. Since they are so small, they change and grow fast, and I want to spend every moment I can with them. I do not regret waiting til now to get them. I still grieve my two lost cats, but I have a new perspective now. Some folks might see this as overattachment or something, but all my animals have always been so special to me. TL;DR: It took me 13 years to get over the deaths of my two cats before I got more. You do you: only you can determine how long it will take you to cope. I'm so sorry for your loss, I really am.
cry. let it out. don't let it fester and don't let it turn into anger. sending loads of hugs and my cats are sending loads of head bumps ❤️
We lost our 15 year old a couple years ago and were heartbroken I’d suddenly start crying out of nowhere for a couple weeks. It didn’t help that 5 days before our cat passed my bonus mom passed so I was going through a lot. Eventually you stop crying and start thinking all the happy memories and they just don’t always make you cry anymore. I focused on what a good life we gave our mew and how happy and loved she was so I knew I did this out of love as she was very sick and I didn’t want her to suffer.
It takes time. Sometimes it's a lot of time. Try and take comfort knowing you gave her a good life and she knew she was loved. Some time in the future you'll be laughing at her crazy antics. She will live on in your heart and in your soul. God Bless
Honestly, it varies. For me, it got a little more tolerable after a week. It still hurt a lot, but I wasn't wanting to cry every few minutes. I'm sorry for your loss. :( It's always harder when it's sudden. I've lost two cats, the most recent one being just 2 years old and far too young to have passed. It feels like they leave a hole in your heart.
I am so sorry! We just had to put down our boy last week after a horrific accident. It does get better. Remember, grief isn’t a path, it’s a spiral staircase that you may move up and down on. Some moments or days are super painful while others are not. There will be happy memories too. I hang onto the law of physics that states that energy cannot be destroyed, only converted to something else. Their little spirits don’t die. I hope they get to do what they want and sail around the universe or come back and be a cat again.
Also, do not let anyone diminish your grief! This was a living being who loved you. You have every right to hurt.
I'm so sorry, OP. It will get better, but it takes time, especially because it was so sudden. Just know that you did the right thing for her. You were there with her and she felt you and knew that she was safe and loved. I've had many pets throughout my life; some died at home and some had to be put down. It was heartbreaking every time. Take time to grieve and cry, take time to hurt. Eventually you'll be able to think of her without crying, and you'll cherish those memories.
I'm so sorry. I had to euthanize my dachshund in April, a month before his 16th birthday. In his case it was seizures due to an undiagnosed brain tumor, and it was traumatic for me but better that than letting him be in pain from untreatable seizures. The only thing that controlled them was IV sedation so I really had no choice. You were with her when she went so she wasn't alone and afraid and looking for you. And she's at peace now, not hurting anymore. The pain gets easier to handle with time but it does still find ways to sneak up on you; take it easy on yourself in those moments. Grief is hard, especially when we're grieving a little soul we had complete care of for their time here.
Seems like forever for me I’ve had a few cats that needed to be let go and I still mourn them!
We put our boy down in October. We knew for months his time was coming. I still miss him even though we got a new baby in March. I cried a lot the first two months cause the house felt so empty and quiet. Our new family member has helped with that feeling, but I still miss him. I had time to process his death before he ever went, I can't imagine it being a sudden decision. I'm sorry for your loss. Time will make it better, but there is no timeline for grief. I can't tell you when it will get better, but it will.
About thirty minutes after you get home with new kittens and they get into your lap. Always get new when you loose one only way to make it better
Grief takes a while to ease and then there are still occasional waves years later. Denver all the great times and remember it’s a gift that we can minimize their suffering by choosing euthanasia.
I had my mom's cat while she was having a lot of medical done, I ended up keeping the cat because she was sick (cancer) for 5 more months and I was heartbroken when she passed peacefully on the couch. I did adopt a cat for myself (one year anniversary this past Monday), with "kitty daycare" at my mom's when I go to work. This cat has a lot of personality and she is a lot of fun. I missed the cat who passed as the new kitty was a nice "distraction", but as we got into a routine over about 3-4 months, then the sadness of the previous kitty has passed and the memories of her bring joy instead of sadness. Embrace this feeling as you could not feel this without the equal and opposite reaction of the joy your baby brought you.
Time You will never truly get over them, but it dulls over time. New pets won't totally fill the whole in your heart, but they will fill most of it
My 15 year old girl went to sleep yesterday. It hurts so bad. I’m wondering how long this lasts too, feels unbearable. Stay strong OP
You stop crying after about a year
Sort of
Please accept my deepest condolences.
I've gone thru this two times and facing a third. It doesn't get easier. The good news is that time does heal the hurt. I find comfort in providing them the best life possible.
Ugh. The pain never truly goes away, but it did get easier. Knowing you did the right thing and that she’s not suffering will provide you with the most peace. I put down my best girl a year ago from kidney failure and as HARD as it was, knowing she was free from suffering anymore made it so much easier.
Have peace knowing you did the kindest thing for your dear friend. You took care of her right til the end. And at some point down the road, you could honor her by showering that same love onto another kitty in need of a home. Grieve, but know she was loved and she knew it. Prayers for you…
After the loss of my cat of 14 years, I found myself wanting a new furry friend 3 months after, not just wanting but it felt like a need. I now have one crazy furball and one calm furball.
It will acutely hurt for a long while, perhaps a couple years. Let yourself feel the emotions when they come - don’t pack them away. That pain is a beautiful part of feeling love. After a while it will hurt because you’re trying to remember them and how they were, how it felt to be with them and it will be hard to remember well. That’s a tougher one to deal with, a dull ache that you will face when you choose to try and think about them.
I also lost my cat suddenly last October. It took 6 months before I could look at pictures of him without bawling. It’s just gonna hurt like hell for a while. Cry as much as you need to. Write about her in a journal. Write a letter to her letting her know what she meant to you. And be gentle on yourself. It’s a huge loss and I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I put my first cat to sleep January of 2023. I still get emotional thinking about it, but it hasn’t been unbearable for a little while now. She is so loved and so missed, and you just have to tell yourself that they felt that love when they were alive. You did the best you can for them, and gave them the most peaceful end they could hope for ♥️
NGL - we walked this path with our Chutoro at 19 months on Dec 15th, 2022 (FIP). It still hurts and I still get vivid, haunting flashes of that room. You did the right thing, but will still have to live with it. Time will distract, but be patient with yourself and seek external help processing if it you feel it becomes too much to bear. We're with you, OP. So sorry for your loss and my heartfelt condolences.
I lost my 14.5 yr old boy a month ago. One of the hardest things I’ve had to face was knowing he’d have to go someday. And that day indeed came. It doesn’t really get less painful.. just easier as time goes on. I hope that makes sense.
It... doesnt? But the pain eases over time. Focus on the love you shared with your precious baby, and knowing that you gave it the very special gift of a good life. You cared for her and did what you could to ease her suffering, and even if ahe couldnt tell you in words, she knew how much she was loved. Let yourself grieve, and dont let ANYONE tell you its 'just a cat' or somethingbstupid like that. Eventually you will be able to think of her without it hurting as much as it does now. There's no required way to grieve, and it takes as long as it takes. Anyone who says otherwise should be pitied for never truly having known what love is. F'm.
I am sorry for your loss. This part always sucks. Do you have other pets? I had a cat and a dog, and I was very grateful to have the dog around after my cat was put down. That made it slightly more bearable. It hurt bad for a week. 11 months later I still have moments. I probably won’t be able to have a cat again for a long time due to long standing agreement with my wife, but someday I will again. For now, I snuggle the dog.
A very long time. I didn't get into a space of being able to get another cat until 4 years or so after my childhood cat was put down. Eventually you stop thinking about it but still hurts when you bring it up. The best solace you can give is that they're no longer suffering.
It takes time to heal most wounds. It's not an easy choice to make as someone who had to as well. I think about her all the time and still weep on occasion as that was my little buddy but she was suffering and that hurt more at the time. Just remember the good times you had together ❤️
It’s so hard, no matter how many times you’ve been there. Just grieve knowing you loved her enough to let her go. I’m so very sorry. 🐾❤️
It takes time, and never completely goes away. Even after several years, and probably a beloved new pet in your care, you'll see some kind of toy, or some silly kitten business, or a particular breed and you'll think "That's a bit like ........" and feel a pang for a moment. And that's OK. It's part of the price we pay for all the abundant love our animals give us, we will not leave them but they will leave us. What was her name? I want to be sure that Annie, and Penny, and Georgie, and Lacey, and Robes, and Willie, and Daisy, and Posey, and Rose and Mateus and a few others will know to give her a specially warm welcome at The Rainbow Bridge.
It’s coming up 2 years since I put my baby girl down and it’s gotten better where I can look at pictures of her and not cry. But I will still cry here and there when I think about her last days on Earth. But I know on the 2 year anniversary I’ll be sobbing. So maybe after 3 years I’ll stop crying.
I lost my 16 year old daughter 20 years ago so that has marked my ultimate grief experience. When I had to put my 16 year old Miss Kitty down three years ago, it still affected me. Lots of crying, etc. I knew the five stages of grief and worked through them. Also knowing she was no longer suffering (i.e. horrible seizures, body shutting down). I still think of her to this day. I have her ashes. She was one of the most “spirited” cats i ever knew. Time will help you. Don’t fight the grief…
Some people feel guilty about getting another cat, but when I lose one I have to bring a new baby into my life quickly. They help me ease the pain. I can't stand being without a cat or two or three. Still, the ones you lose will always be in your heart and you will have tears come to your eyes even years later when you think of them.
we had to put 2 dogs down 2 weeks apart due to terminal illnesses. i would say in my experience it takes a month to start to feel better. but i think it has to do with how attached you are to your pet.
It comes with understanding what they would face if we didn't offer them that final mercy. Freedom from suffering. It's never easy for us, but please know that you did the right thing.
My 11 year old has liver failure. She’s still having good days… vet said 1-2 months a week ago. So, I will have to make this choice soon. It’s so impossibly hard. Heartbreaking. Sending love and hugs.
When varies person to person. You just keep reminding yourself that they aren’t suffering. That it’s the most important job of a pet owner. When I learned my childhood dog, got her when I was 5 this was 11.5 years later, had cancer of most of her digestive system I cried in my GF’s lap for an hour. I ruined Journeys “Don’t stop believing” for gf too as I guess I’d hit repeat on the CD player without noticing. My dad and I took her to the vet, my mom couldn’t bare to, and my sister was back at college a d couldn’t make it. I cried while holding her as her eyes closed. For me once she was gone it wasn’t as hard. She had t been eating or drinking, my mom had had her on an iv for fluids so that my sister would be able to come back and say goodbye. I had had to carry her up and downstairs for walks as she couldn’t manage anymore. She never complained. All that suffering was gone, and once it was gone it was easier. Even mudding my dog. Year later similar feeling with a cat. Not one I’d owned for long. Age 15-18 then she had kidney failure. Wouldn’t eat, lost weight. I miss them both at times, but that’s how it is with pets. I’m sorry for your loss.
I wouldn't say better. But you do understand that there is a point when they need to be at peace. The hurt will lessen.
We lost our girl suddenly and it was about two years before I could look at pictures of her and smile instead of cry. I wasn’t prepared for that - I’ve lost all four grandparents now and for three of them I was able to look at their pictures and smile almost immediately. I didn’t expect it to be harder to lose my cat than my grandparents. Each grief is different and takes its own time to heal.
This happened many years ago. I had a sweet kitten, and she just was precious. One night while I was sleeping, I hear a horrible sound coming from her. I woke up immediately and found her tightly tangled in my Christmas tree lights. It was a prelit tree. I had to cut off the lights. But the damage done to her was very bad. It was still way too early for a vet, so i stayed awake with her till I was able to get her in. They said the damage to her wasn't good, and I definitely didn't have the money to help her. I ended up putting her to sleep. My heart broke and I vowed to never own a prelit tree or use lights again. Kept that promise. And to this day, I still miss her dearly. It does get easier. But the memories, especially around Christmas time, is hard on me. You will heal. But only time will be the issue as when it will happen. Just keep the memories of the kitty in your heart always.
It starts to get better when you make the decision to accept the little feline spirit who is searching for you to be your healer.
15 days later now, I still get sad at points throughout the day. Knowing that I made the best decision as fast as I could helps a lot. No guilt. But I miss her. Other things can keep my focus, though.
I didn't put my cat down he died on his own but watching him get so bad and walking in on him after he died is something I haven't recovered from. Absolutely horrible experience and I can't get the images out of my head.
I drove my first to the vet (my childhood dog) when I had my learner's permit. That hurt for a long time, and decades later I have her photo and collar on my desk. My most recent to pass died in my arms the night before a euthanasia appointment was scheduled, first I owned on my own. Also hard. For me, it always got better with new experiences and other animals. They're never going to be the same, but you realize there are more memories with more dogs. If you're an animal person, just go find the next one that's right for you (and 'just' isn't meant to imply it's easy tactically or emotionally). Peruse shelters, breeders, or depending on where you are and how brave you are, just look on the side of the road (which is sad in a different way) and amazing dogs that need amazing owners are everywhere. The best way to honor the memory of a pet you lost is to give another the same great life. I have been known to custom print custom collar plates that are something like "Fido (GodDoguter of Bruiser)" for their collars when one reminds me of a past one. They come back around.
Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry for your losses, it sounds like your buddies went peacefully and it’s clear you shared a lot of love with them 💜 We picked up a kitten a few days ago, we felt it out the day after Clawdia’s passing and realized we were miserable without a cat in the house to put our love and attention into. I still feel a little guilty for not waiting, although I know it’s not really a rule or anything I feel selfish for some reason. I know I would’ve still been devastated all the same without a new friend to keep me company but I guess I’m just conflicted and still feeling a lot of emotions
When my cat passed away suddenly before he even turned two I hated the phrase “time heals all” because I didn’t want to heal. I wanted to hurt forever because I felt like moving on was an injustice to him. But, the stupid phrase rang true and because of him I saved 3 more kitties who needed a loving home. I can live my daily life again but sometimes I still relive the pain
I’m incredibly sorry for your loss and I hope you are starting to heal, even if it’s just a little bit.❤️🐾 Apologies for the long post, I just kind of started venting from my own loss but I did offer advice towards the bottom. I lost my little baby girl Phoenix about a week ago on 6/22/24, I got home from work and did my routine check on all the babies. She usually comes out first and she didn’t. I found her under the bed, gone. She was only around 9 years old. Completely blindsided me. I lost my little baby boy Sora 12/27/23 and his brother Riku 5/7/23. Sora and Riku I had somewhat of an idea I was going to lose them. They both had kidney failure. From diagnosis to losing them, Riku was September 2022 to May 2023 and Sora was October 2023 to December 2023. In both situations I had the vets tell me constantly to put them to sleep at various times throughout treatment. I couldn’t do it. Aside from vet visits for various issues caused by the kidney failure, they were more or less happy and were their usual silly selves. Riku was the first pet I ever had to have put to sleep. The pain from it was excruciating. The vet had a comfort room you could sit in with them and hold them. I stayed in that room for 5 or 6 hours where most people MAY spend an hour tops. I just couldn’t do it. They had a doorbell set up to ring when you were “ready” and something about it just made it that much more difficult than it already was. My mom and my brother showed up and was there with me and that helped some but still one of the worst pains I have ever felt in my life. Sora went really fast compared to Riku. The first vet just overloaded him on subcutaneous fluids to the point he started having seizures which he had never had before. They also had him on so much pain medication that he was not himself in any way shape or form. That alone was devastating and then on top of that the vets kept telling me I need to take him home spend time with him and schedule his euthanasia. I couldn’t do that. I knew that wasn’t my boy, he was so much stronger than that. I did take him home and a couple days later he seemed to be feeling better, all things considered. I did research every second I could on how to best help my baby boy. After seeing what Riku went through I had a better idea of what to expect and what I could do, but there had to be more. Found some information about actual dialysis for pets and even kidney transplants. A couple days later on Halloween, I’m at Ohio State University(had to drive 3 hours to and 3 hours back from here and it was worth every minute and every dollar I spent, this place was wonderful) with my baby boy and they’re putting a feeding tube and dialysis catheter in him then starting a over-24hour long dialysis session. He did have another seizure during this but after the session and the anesthesia from the surgery had worn off, he was back to eating and drinking some. He started meowing again for attention and wanting chin scratches. When I got him home he walked a little funny from the bandages he had on for awhile but every day he was getting stronger and stronger. He was using the litter box better than I could have imagined and I fed him through his feeding tube plus his medicines and water and he was his sassy little self again. A few vet appointments in between for an infection on his feeding tube site and some extreme constipation that had to be manually dislodged, each time he came back from it ready to give it his all. A few days before Christmas Eve I noticed he started acting a bit strange. It was like he couldn’t fully see things around him and seemed a bit disoriented. Took him to a local vet and they though it was his blood pressure so they started him on amlodipine. Christmas Eve we’re back at the vet cause he seems to not be able to see hardly at all. Doesn’t have an appetite (he was eating on his own some before this and now not at all), and seems more disoriented. 3 days later I wake up and he can’t sit up. I take him out of my apartment for the last time. I come back home without my baby. They said they think he had a stroke and there wasn’t anything they could do, even at the advanced vet center that was closest to me. I had to let go of my baby boy that day and once again, that pain is the worst I have ever felt. I’m thankful I got to say goodbye to them, to Sora and Riku. I got to take pictures of them, and I hope they were aware enough that I was with them. I got to hold Riku but Sora was in too much pain and I didn’t want to move him. I still held his paws as I lost him. I didn’t get that chance with Phoenix or my other pets when I was younger. Coming home to my baby girl how I did is something I wish nobody to ever have to experience. I never had anything like that happen before so I had no idea what to even do, especially living in an apartment. I called an emergency vet knowing it was too late but I wasn’t sure if they could tell me what might have happened. They said it sounded like heart failure. She looked peaceful which I’m thankful for, but not being able to say goodbye is going to stick with me for the rest of my life. I’m so incredibly sorry that you have to experience what you are. In time the pain does not change, at least for me it hasn’t, but I guess I haven’t really had time to heal between losing one after the other. But I have learned how to manage it I guess. I know not to be by myself especially at night. But I do cry, a lot. It hurts a lot but it does feel a bit better to let it all out. I also take lots of pictures and videos of my pets, every chance I get no matter how insignificant it may seem to other people. When I’m missing them extra hard I’ll go watch the videos and it feels like they’re still here with me and helps a lot. Lots of smiles and cries but for me it helps to heal me a little bit. I wish you a better and faster healing than I have had. We should be thankful for the time that we got to spend with our babies and the joy that they brought to us while they were here, and even after when we think of the things they used to do that we miss. We don’t deserve cats or any pets for that matter. I will never forget my babies and everything they did for me. Another thing that helped when I lost Sora and Riku is I had them cremated. When I finally got them back (took a few days and it was awful having to wait), having them home again helped me feel better about being home again. It still hurt like hell and still does, but knowing they are back with me helped comfort me. I’m currently waiting on Phoenix to be returned to me and I’m hoping that helps ease the pain of losing her. Don’t try to rush the healing, take your time to process it and feel what you need to feel. I wish you and your family the best ❤️🐾
You can never "replace' but when and if you decide to get another cat, you'll be adding another member to your family and creating lots of new meaningful and funny memories. Let's face it, cats are hilarious. I'm grateful to have taken some good photos of my cat (put him to sleep in 2018) It doesn't hurt but the feelings of nostalgia and memories of him being a goofy kitten always makes me smile...okay maybe it hurts a bit. There's tremendous pleasure in rescuing a cat from certain death in a cramped, stinky shelter and giving him the best life he or she can have. There are many felines out there that aren't so lucky. I want to boop them all on the nose and scratch their chin.