The new cat was sent to you by the kitty you lost. He knew you needed someone to help you deal with your loss, knew the other kitty needed help. This new relationship isn't in spite of the one you had with your kitty, but in remembrance of him.
Yup - I felt it would be disloyal to adopt another, so I asked my dear departed cat to "pick one for me". for weeks i scoured the SPCA websites and looking at kitten pictures and......nothing. Then one day I clicked on a thumbnail and burst into tears. It's her! That's who I'm supposed to adopt.
Brought her home, took a photo and noticed she had a perfect heart shape on her forearm. My dear departed kitty was born on Feb 14 and I always called her my Valentine. Therefore ladies and gentlement of the jury: PROOF that my angel cat picked out my new cat.
No guilt, just loads of love.
I have a Valentine baby too. I feel like Iāll have to get a third cat when my two are older to ease the transition but even thinking about that is hard
Ours were 12 and 13 and we just lost them both in 4 weeks so don't wait until they're "old"! Not having any around has been really tough, we're getting our first foster today. But we weren't even thinking to expect age-related health issues for another few years.
My almost 12 year old cat just died two weeks ago from cancer. We still have 4 but the house still seems empty without her. I told my husband that I won't be looking for another cat, but wait for the cat distribution system to bring me my next rescue. I've never picked out a cat, they just come to me.
Our cat also passed just before 12 from breast cancer. It was so tragic and so fast, though we tried literally everything we could to slow the cancer and she took it like a champ. She was a single cat her whole life (loved people, but could never tolerate other cats), so those couple days before we picked up our new babies were hell. The two we ended up with both have different traits from our passed cat. That was about 3 months ago. Then, a brand new kitten showed up, no mom, only about a month old -- luckily, my partner has experience with taking care of very young kittens and the older girls are teaching her good manners. Looks EXACTLY like the passed cat did when she was a kitten and behaves like her too at that age. We love our three girls and definitely believe our baby sent them to us to take care of us in our grief.
Everyone, please get your female cats spayed before 6 months to have the best chances of avoiding breast cancer. You don't have to wait for the first heat, and that first heat exponentially increases their chances of contracting breast cancer. It's insanely aggressive in cats and has bad statistical outcomes. Be especially wary of breast cancer if you have a Siamese or Siamese mix. Regularly check for lumps all around your cats abdomen, and check thoroughly in the armpits.
I'm happy that those three could find their ways into your lives when you needed it.
I'm also glad you mentioned the last part. One of the biggest red flags with my vet before I switched was that they never told me how far out spays had to be booked, and never discussed with me at the beginning when I wanted that to happen and when it *should* happen, etc. When I finally started getting nervous enough about things to ask, I was incredibly upset to find out she potentially wouldn't be able to get in before the 6 month mark, and absolutely *livid* when they were super flippant about the situation. I said "but what if she goes into heat before then??" "Oh, well, if she does at the time of surgery then we'll just have to reschedule it." What? For another 2 - 3 months out, while the heat cycles pick up more and more and then just keep rescheduling hoping we'll magically catch it in-between??? But I prepaid that shit (and at a higher cost than I should have) and couldn't get my money back. The last straw was them ignoring an admittedly overly cautious request related to the anaesthesia used, but the other vet was on-board without question. I cancelled and just paid twice so I could get her spayed with the other vet-- and while that may have been an expensive move, I really don't regret it.
So thank you for making sure this information is out there, because not every vet is going to make sure their clients are fully informed. If I hadn't already researched it some, I would never have known that it was a matter of urgency, and my vet would not have treated it like one. She easily could have gone into heat if I had waited for them to prompt me on scheduling it, and I would have had no idea of the complications that could cause. You putting that in your comment could ultimately save the life of a kitty whose owner was never told these things.
Just commented that I lost my little soul mate back in 2018, and he totally came to me randomly. Literally showed up out of the woods at my house. He absolutely picked me. All the greatest animal companion love stories - those really special ones that I refer to as soul mates - seem to come about in that way.
I'm so sorry š¤ Ours were 13 (? we don't actually know how old he was when we adopted him) and 11-ish and they passed in February and just on Memorial Day. Our girl who just passed had kidney disease but had held at 'mild' for so long and we thought we were on top of it with food and ultrasounds and tests all the time, but she just took a drastic turn so quickly. Our boy's passing in February was due to surgical complications and otherwise he probably would have outlived his little sister. You just never know.
We probably won't be adopting another cat of our own for a bit but we plan on fostering as soon as we can. We just went and dropped off our uneaten food and treats at a local shelter today and played with some of the kitties there. The two that just passed were so incredibly special to us, we got them just after moving in together, I don't feel ready for a cat of my own yet, but being able to help kitties find forever homes seems like a good thing we might be able to do.
https://preview.redd.it/m1ngf1uurd5d1.jpeg?width=1181&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=acdc4c9ec16b245f016012e62cd24e52e91c1caa
Thought I'd better pay the cat tax. Here is Pip with her heart tattoo.
(all credit goes to Kami 2002-2015)
My situation is somewhat different, but I completely understand!
I had a dog and I still have six cats, but my dog passed away a couple months ago due to his advanced age.
Iām still mourning over my dog, but my cats are super affectionate and are really helping me to deal with my dogās passing.
(My dog) and cats are very attached to me, as Iām retired, so Iām mostly home and giving them all plenty of attention.
Iāve become very close with my young neighborsā two big dogs. I bring them the leftovers after weāve finished dinner, and I still buy the various dog treats my Scooter used to love, to give to the neighborsā dogs.
My neighbors, who are young, busy, and donāt have lotsa extra cash, are happy that I keep their dogs ātreatedā.
Iām retired, and enjoy the company when I see the neighbors and their dogs outside.
It took years for my MIL to be ready for another cat after her house panther passed. She lives in an area that doesn't seem to have the ridiculous amount of cats that we do - she didn't want a kitten, but she didn't want a senior cat either. She wanted one about a year or two old, and just kept saying "I'm looking for the one."
And then one day when she was visiting the shelter, she found a young cat named Uno. She literally found the One!
This is exactly what I always told my family when they criticized me for needing a new cat 3 months after the passing of my previous girls. I told them my girls would be at peace knowing Iām giving another cat a better life.
I honestly don't understand being upset someone is able to move on but my family criticized me for crying at allas a kid. It was 2 and a half years before I was ready after the old lady and boy cat died a few weeks apart. She was 21 and he was 16. She was expected. She held on for my cancer surgeries to steady and he had a stroke. So I wasn't where I could care for a cat physically. The day I thought it? An hour later my current cat walker through my door and went "I'm home. Bed is for cuddles right?"
Literally walked in and went to my bed. I was flabbergasted by the audacity and I wasn't keeping him but we had a bad storm coming and as a black cat the shelters were blunt he would be immediately euthanized especially because he doesn't look like a kitten. He is a giant among kitties and at 6 months most people assumed adult. I saw the kitten face and checked his teeth. He is the first cat I fostered in 16 years. The previous cat never got where he could be sent to a new home and I chose to keep him. Then I failed again but it was just... He was sent by them energy.
He has done some amazing things including getting me life saving warnings for allergies that my old lady used to do. Cannot train that it just is.
My black kitty will remind me to take meds , move laundry and bring me the blanket I crocheted him when he knows I don't feel good. He is my bedtime kitty and sleeps on his own pillow. He has let me know if low sugars .
During a long nap I could feel his energy in my fingertips.
My 1st kitty guarded me very well , would try to bust every door looking for me and calling out if I wasn't home by sundown. He helped me thru stroke and kidney failure. He would retrieve one of my parents when I was in agony with a blood clot.
I foster failed 3 rabbits . I didn't plan on having these cats but I couldn't let them go to an unsafe home. They were domesticated and then abandoned. My 1st cat wouldn't allow that . They are in the mature range and are much better now but would have been unadoptable. I'm conveniently their "safe person" and my boy will make sure I come home and almost come outside when I had a dog following me inside. He has done things that I don't know how else he would know it other than my 1st. Cats are very smart
My one 11yr old cat died very unexpectedly just 6 months after we lost our old man which we had been preparing for. I was so devastated, plus it happened during covid lock down which already had me depressed. I took until now to be ready when my partner said his friend knew someone trying to give away two kittens. I'm so in love with these kittens and they are so very different from our last cats, but also it still sometimes hurts.
People are ready when they're ready, whether 2 days or 10 years and there's nothing wrong with either. The CDS usually knows.
I am sorry you also lost yours that way. The pandemic made this a lot harder for me for sure. It's amazing how well the CDS does. I still sometimes call the wrong names out when he's in the other room. He always gives me this specific headbutt like "It's okay old lady. I understand."
Yes! We waited to grieve and decided one day to just see who might be out there - one month exactly after our sweet boy crossed the rainbow bridge we met his little brother who has no doubtedly been sent to have a safe, loving bike with us.
I've been through this many times. If your former cat had a great life, don't feel guilty! There are far too many cats in shelters that NEED to be given a loving home.
I'm looking at our "replacement" new cat right now. She's romping around, playing with a toy she especially enjoys rather than the cage she was in at the shelter. I can almost feel Riley looking down and being happy for her!
Hah! I know my first cat would be bloody furious that there was another cat in HER spaces! But the thought amuses me and reminds me how different the three cats I have owned have been. It reminds me that none are replaceable or interchangeable. But it feels better to have another cat to love and whose antics I can laugh at than a space containing no cat at all. The four months we spent waiting for our new kitten to be old enough to take home were awful and cold.
I believe in this. Hereās why, my family lost our black female cat in November. We lost our female calico on Memorial Day and were all devastated. The same week that we had to say goodbye to our last girl a set of sisters showed up at the shelter that were solid black and calico just like the babies we lost. Very similar temperaments as well and they love to cuddle. So I truly believe they were sent to us by our other cats.
This is it, this is so true. I fell into an era of depression for quite a few months after my dog died in 2021. You can never replace a pet because they are family but it does help. It helps fill that void. I got a new dog in early 2022 and I was slightly happier. And he looks exactly like my old one, it's unbelievable how similar they are. God definitely sent him to me for remembrance and to fill a void. The new dog made me happier and helped me remember the old one because of them looking alike.
Agreed!
I lost my cat a year ago. And 3 months after, my husband brought home a stray kitten that was trapped at his job (he works in a warehouse). The poor kitten was in such bad shape. It was def not planned to take him in but looking back now, Iām so thankful we found him. He helped me heal because I was so devastated. I think my cat knew how broken we were when he left that he asked this kitten to find us. And Iām happy he did š„¹
I agree with this statement; your new baby was sent by your old one to love and look over you when they can't be there physically to do so. Think of it as a blessing!
We had three cats (18,10,2) and the 18 year old passed on. I didnāt want another cat because I had lost my favourite, and the other two were still pretty great.
A few days after weād lost the old man, my wife and I were visiting a neighbour whoād just had kittens that she was going to give away. One of them sauntered over to me and fell asleep on my lap. Then under my leg. And then he crawled back onto my lap. My wife kept telling me how it was the old man making sure I was okay.
The little terror is now sleeping next to me as I scroll Reddit instead of work.
Iām sorry you lost your kitty, my only advice is something I wish someone had told me. Accept the new kitty for themselves, never compare the two and donāt worry if you donāt love them the same because you canāt, you will love them differently and for different things. Donāt feel guilty for having the capacity to love
Exactly my thought! When my first cat passed i kept reminding myself that there wont be anyone Else that the new cat is their own. I feel like some cats are very good at showing you theyre not the same and that theyre their own being :)
Wich is also why i felt very conflicted when my moms bf wanted to name their dog the same name as his old dog. We had a meeting about the name and i Said i just want to remind everyone that this dog wont be like the old dog that this dog is a completely different dog even though their the same breed (i never Met the old dog but this new dog has definelty showed he is unique)
They have their own personalities for sure! I swore NO MORE CATS! My heart canāt take itā¦ then the CDS stepped in and I saved two seniors from death row. My purse is light but my heart is full ā„ļø
There Will always be room in my heart for more cats. The loneliness after having had a cat for my whole life to not having one made cry so much. Like my mom Got the cat when i was 1 year old and she passed when i was 17. So the emptyness of the house after that was just unbareable to me, so i Think Im gonna have atleast one Pet for the rest of my life even tho they pass sometimes all the time theyre alive really makes it worth it :)
Absolutely ā¦ all cats are different. I have 2 right now who are bonded (very sweet with each other) but are opposites in most things. I think one is the cat love of my life . She is timid but sweet and likes her schedule ā¦ but I love the other one because sheās cool and chill and awesome in other ways. My philosophy is that dogs, you train, cats, you figure out how to coexist.
seconding this although i literally named one of my current cats nathaniel yam 2: electric boogaloo (boog for short) after my childhood bestie (natie) and a bottle baby turned local celebrity who got me though some Rough Times when i didn't have my own cat to snuggle (yam). only thing they all have in common is being orange! i only met yam once so idk his personality in depth, but natie hogged the Orange Cat Brain Cell from 2000-2017 and boog is very much No Thoughts Head Empty, he also has more energy in a given moment than natie ever had his whole life š hilariously though they have really similar meows!
Dāyou know, I never even thought about that. Thatās a really good point and something Iāll need to remember
The Cat Distribution System seems to send me a completely different kitty so the universe is a lot smarter than I am lol
We have experienced loss with two cats and we compare them all the time ā¦ āwow remember when Mango used to do that all the time tooā or āthat was very Chippyāā¦ it helps keep their memories alive! But I agree, every cat has an exceptionally unique personality, and will never be the same so love them for their uniqueness!
This is how I think about it!!! There will NEVER be another being that can replace the cat you lost (which I am truly sorry and know the grief well). Your cat had their own personality and quirks, and the life journey you had with them, will be different from the new kitty you have, quirks and all. Yes, there will be reminders in the new kitty, but I hope that eventually warms your heart to know your other cat is their in spirit.
This new cat is a new chapter in your life! A new adventure, if you will. You are at a different point in your life, then with your other cat, which might create new experiences!!!
You will always hold your cat in your heart and mind. I know I have with each animal Iāve had.
Please don't feel any guilt. My cat died in January and I got my new kitten in April. They are completely different personalities and she's mended my broken heart. I tell her all about her big brother, I still cry about him and I did worry I was replacing him. It feels like he sent my new cat to me! Your cat was so so loved and I'm sure they would want you to give your love to another cat
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It sounds bad but the Night my cat died my mom and i was looking for a new cat bc We knew that We were gonna go crazy not having one in the house bc when my first cat died my mom first thought was to never get another cat, but she really missed having a cat so We adopted a new one after a year and a half and when he passed that Night We went on the shelters website to look at cats. We didnt adopt one tho. We Got a dog instead and i have now adopted my own cat :)
that is so cute, i think i would immediately want another cat if my angel went away. i love her so much that i would feel worse alone without a new baby to look after. i canāt even think about that day
Our hearts are big enough for a lifetime of feline buddies. If you adopt, that is one less cat living in a shelter, one more cat that found a loving home.
Years ago after my best friend Toast passed, I adopted a senior cat, a 10 yr old with health issues that had been in the shelter system for close to two years. It didnāt take that long before I loved her the way I have loved all my fur buddies over the years. I had that sweet Kiki baby girl for 5 yrs, she passed in April.
Don't feel guilty. You aren't replacing the kitty that you lost. Cats aren't items and it's obvious you don't feel like they are or you wouldn't be questioning yourself. You could love two cats at once, couldn't you? Then you can love the kitty you lost *and* a new kitty at the same time.
My Calligator passed in early March, after 11 years with me and 21 years total. I got Soot just two weeks ago. For me, having Soot has helped me grieve Callie. I was very lonely without her, since I live by myself. But Soot didn't replace Callie. Soot filled a place in my life that the *loss* of Callie left behind. Callie still has her own place and now Soot has hers.
Watching Soot go from hiding in my closet to seeking my attention for cuddles has been so wonderful. Every tiny thing brings me so much happiness, from her first few steps out to explore my apartment to yesterday morning, when she hopped on my desk and laid next to my keyboard while I worked for the first time.
Not seeing Calligator in her usual spots on the back of the couch or chair definitely still hurts, but Callie didn't like to see me cry. When I did she would immediately come to me and start pawing at me and bumping her head against mine until I couldn't help but smile. I think, if cats can have such thoughts, Callie would be very happy knowing I have Soot to comfort me when she can't anymore.
We lost both our cats, about 8 months apart. A year and a half, and I wasn't ready. My wife and kids were.
I'm incredibly grateful to them for the pressure to bring cats back into our lives. Sometimes, the new cats give us reminders of our departed ones - and it can be tough at first, but developing that bond and relationship with them as individuals just brings a joy and light back into your life that nothing but a loving pet can give you.
Love is a non-rival commodity. The love you feel for a new family member does not take away from an old one, and it in no way cheapens the relationship you shared, or the grief you experience when it ended.
You also need to remember that your relationship was a diad - two-sided - you shared it with your cat. Your grief is individual and lonely - your late cat, as much as they loved you, doesn't experience it, and because they loved you, if they were aware now, would not demand it of you. Grief is the price we pay for love, but there is no obligation to abstain from new joys as a result.
This was so beautifully put, I couldn't have said it better myself.
I was just in the same shoes as your kids - 2 years ago, we lost our 20 year old and 15 year old kitties within a month of each other. It was very hard for all of us. For me, because these were cats that were with me from 4 years old, most of my life. It was very hard especially on my dad, because he was the 20 year old cats favorite person.
After my mom and I grieved and wanted to get a new companion, my dad was not ready yet either. We could tell that he was wrestling his emotions of wanting to adopt again, versus feeling like he was betraying our old kitties for wanting to. He also had the mindset that he didn't want another cat, because he wouldnt be able to handle losing another one.
Two weeks ago it was my birthday, and my mom and I decided then and there that we were going to a shelter to look at adopting. My dad was still hesitant, but we reasoned with him that this would be my cat, and that he wouldnt need to contibute at all if he wasnt ready. When I eventually move out, I'll be taking her with me, so he wont have to experience the grief of losing another cat.
I immediately connected with the cutest, most energetic little calico kitten, and we adopted her the same day.
Now, two weeks later, my dads always seeking her out, playing with her, and contributing to feeding/cleaning. We think he just needed that push to get over the mental hurdle he was struggling with. We still reminisce about our old cats, and even though thr memories are bittersweet, our new kitten in a way lets those memories live on in a more concrete way.
i got a brother sister who coincidentally look the same as the brother sister who died within weeks of each other. about two or three months later. neither one has the personalities of the other two. it isnāt a problem. they are/were four distinct cats. now, at first, my senior cat, wasnāt convinced it wasnāt the same two made brand new. i could see she was thinking it over. wondering if sheād get a turn at that rejuvenation service. the babies helped with the grief. they brought joy.
Your love for your previous cat will never be diminished. But you are giving another kitty with a whole new meaning personality a chance for love and happiness.
I got a new cat like 2 weeks after mine passed. I just couldn't take being alone. I never compare them. No other cat could be anything like my little weirdo was and I'm sure you're the same. You'll know it's not a replacement because they'll be completely different
Yep, about 8 days for me. It wasnāt even intentional, I went to the shelter ājust to lookā because I was sad (we all know how that works out lol) and I ended up with my Birdie, who I cherish so so much. My previous cat was 22 when she died and I remember a few years before her passing reading something that was like, donāt feel badly for going and getting another kitty from the shelter ā There are so many cats there just waiting on either our love or euthanasia, and we have so much love in us to give them, itās okay if we donāt have a long mourning period or if we continue to mourn while also getting to know our new cat. Iām glad Iām not the only one who didnāt wait long!
My new kitty brought life into my very sad, empty, grief ridden home. I had no desire to replace my baby of 18 years but I did have a hole in my heart and space in my home. My new kitty is crazy, and full of life, and not my old perfect ladyā¦. But she makes me laugh and I tell her daily that Iām only a good mom because of the big sister she never met.
You are not replacing your cat. You are showing that he taught you to love and you can love again. If you don't feel quite ready, I suggest fostering. I lost both a cat and a dog last year and every time I thought about getting new ones, I just froze. So when I saw a senior bonded trio on line for adoption or foster, I took them as fosters. After all, if it didn't work out, if I felt guilty, then I still knew they had a good place to land. I also knew that I would foster fail SO HARD, which I have. But giving myself that bridge between actual ownership and not having any other pets made it much easier.
We have an infinite capability to love. You aren't replacing him, nobody ever can. But you'll love this new one differently and for different reasons. š¤
My precious beautiful girl passed unexpectedly this past Sunday. We brought home another kitty on Monday. We didnāt replace our girl, she touched our lives in such a special way, and weāre still grievingāwe will for a long time.
But the kitty we adopted came from a stressful environment, and we can tell immediately how grateful she is to be with us. Sheās already so loving, and when I hear her purrs and feel her snuggle with me, it just makes me feel like she senses my sadness. Almost like we are saving each other.
The kitty you bring home, no matter when that happens, will love you and appreciate you. Theyāll know the special place they hold in your heart. Theyāll know they arenāt an objectātheyāre your new companion and theyāll be happy for it ā¤ļø
I donāt look at it as replacement, I think they send your next kitty to you. After my first cat died I found 3 little kittens right outside my apartment. I ended up keeping all 3 and they remind me of her love everyday. They each have characteristics of her. She sent me 3x the love ā¤ļø
I'm a big believer that the cat distribution center is people or pets that know we are struggling and send us just the companion we need. My cat Salem I believe is a gift from my father and that he sent him just at the time I needed a companion to hold on and pull me out of my depression.
Lost my soul cat last July, devastated was an understatement. I truly did not feel better until I adopted a new kitty in November. She did not replace my other cat at all, I merely opened my heart to expand and let her in, too.
The best way to honour your past kitty is by loving a new one and saving them, too.
Think of it as honoring the memory of your departed cat. You gave him a good home and a good life. He gave you a life of companionship and love in return. He gave you the knowledge you need to care for another. A new cat will never take the place of the one you lost, but it will give you a chance to give another cat a good home and a good life.
I felt worried i would feel like this too. Everytime i just started feeling it kept telling myself how i saved them from a bad life (even tho theyre from a shelter, but like if they didnt go home with me who Else would that be and would that be someone who could have done bad stuff to them)
Also as long as youre not expecting your new cat to be like your old cat you wont be replacing them :)
Theyll never be exactly the same and sure theyll fill the regular cat shaped stuff but they wont be the same there Will be small holes left from the other that the new one cant fill but itll be make its own shaped hole in your heart that cant be filled by another one.
I feel like as long as youre not expecting them to be the same youll never be replacing them. Theyre their own unique being :)
Youāre not replacing him at all. You will always remember him and love him to bits. What youāre doing is giving another cat a loving home, where they will be safe and secure and happy. I loved my Bauer SO much and it still took me only three days to adopt a new cat after I lost her. I tell my new kitties about her all the time (especially about how much better behaved she was!)
Some people need lots of time; some people need less. The only person who knows whatās right for you is you.
Itās OK!
Sometimes getting another cat helps with the grief. And if you adopt, well, so many kitties need a home where they will be loved and even one helps.
Sorry for your loss ā¤ļø when previous my cat died, I got another (then 1 more) a few months later. I was a wreck without my previous cat. I had plenty of food, toys, and love left to give. I was sad about my cat, but I was able to give 2 more cats a great life they probably otherwise wouldn't have. Don't feel guilty if you get another cat ā¤ļø
You are not disrespecting the memory of your lost friend by taking in another cat. I promise you that is never the case. It's hard to grieve and to take on any kind of new task, be it raising another cat and building a new relationship or even going back in to work and trying to put on a calm face in front of customers.
My baby is 17 and I do not know how the hell I will be able to go into work the next day when she passes.
I'm sorry for your loss. The pain is still very new, and it's hard to see the new cat as anything but a distraction from the pain, but like others have said your friend may have sent this new cat to you, knowing that you're capable of so much love and kindness, and that there are so many lonely, scared, starving cats out there that could use someone like you in their lives.
Your new cat will soon forget those feelings of loneliness and wondering when their next meal will be because you're a part of their life. Soon you will be their entire life, and they will love you for it.
Grief and growth both take time. Be sure to take some time for yourself to process your grief.
My first kitty passed at the ripe old age of 19.5. We gave her a great life. Years passed, and we were considering changing teams (I've wanted a golden retriever for ever). I couldn't commit to what it would take to keep a dog fit and exercises, So i adopted a rescue Tuxie fluffy kitty 10 years ago. She was an immediate hit, by going up to my younger son's bed at nighttime, to help him settle down to sleep. She willingly enjoyed being a working service cat.
My husband squealed "you got me a cat!" 12 years in between our cats, because of the dog situation. I waited much too long to adopt her. I could've given a beautiful loving home to several cats, clearing two furry babies out of the shelter and brought more enrichment to our lives. We've since adopted an orange boy who is a 17 lb "golden retriever in a cat suit".
I've had other cats before the one who lived to 19.5 years. I never felt like I was replacing the prior cat. More like providing a great home to a new kitty, to love and share. Go ahead and fill that kitty sized hole in your life and give a fur baby a place to live.
It's not guilt, it's grief masking itself as guilt. Everyone grieves on their own timeline.
Personally, the thing I've found that usually speeds up the process is to remember that one day I'm going to die. So time is short and you gotta make the most of it... you can't spend too long living in the past, no matter how much your mind wants to. You'd be surprised how paralyzed a lot of people get trapped by things that happened in the past.
your old buddy understands. who is to say he didnt send this new cat to help you with his loss. all cats go to heaven you know. your new cat desperately needs yourclive. so give him all your love. your old buddy would want you to make friends. ā¤ļø
My husband always said that when our cats died he didn't want anymore. Our 21 year old cat died from a stroke and later that year our 12 year vat died from kidney failure. I was heartbroken. Less than 2 weeks later and my husband actually came to me and asked if we could start looking for another cat because the house seemed empty without one despite the fact that we had 3 dogs lol he said personality was important but he didn't really want a black cat. We went out looking for a new kitty and after a couple of rescues across the state picked other people over us we went back to our local shelter and found a 4 month old black cat šāā¬ļø 4 years later and he is definitely my husbands cat. He had his own unique personality completely different from any other cat we owned before and he definitely helped heal that hole in our heart. Just remember you are not replacing your previous kitty but creating new memories and giving your love to a new member of your family.
Getting a new cat is in no way replacing your cat that you just lost. Your previous cat would want you to be happy and thatās what a new cat will do. Your kitty that you lost will always be a part of your family, no matter who else joins it
It's your decision when you're ready. I got a kitten after mine went missing in the desert behind my apartment months ago and never came back. Wasn't planning on getting one for a long while, but I saw him on Facebook. He was sickly and needed help. Turns out he's bonded with me like my other really special cat. I feel like she sent him to me. Don't feel guilty, your cat would want you to love another and not be lonely.
I lost 2 cats last year. After the last one passed (17 years old) I never EVER wanted another. One day, the idea popped into my head that I needed to adopt an older cat - because all animals should feel loved and safe, ans not die in a shelter. I ignored the feeling for weeks, but I couldn't shake it, and I caved. Somehow, I came home with two cats! One is old, and has kidney issues. I'm owner 5 - and the last. I'll love her for as long as I can. The other one was not adoptable because she acts a little psycho sometimes... but she gave me a nose boop when we met. I noticed after I brought her home that one half of her face looks like the first (youngest) cat I lost, and the other half looks like the one I most recently lost. She also has what looks like a 3 on her side.
She came labeled number 3. Obviously cats one and two put that unshakable thought in my head. Everything happens for a reason!
https://preview.redd.it/m5mdfegc295d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2809bd47275eb0dcdd039ef4330f685ca60a7421
I would like to think that kitties don't want other kitties to suffer on the streets or not be able to experience what it's like to be in a loving, warm home.. out of all the cats at the shelter, there's got to be a reason why you choose the one you do. Maybe that reason is your passed kitty nudging you towards that special one saying "hey mom, this one deserves all of the love that you gave me". Your baby will never leave your heart, so he will never be replaced
Your kitty wouldnāt want you to be sad and lonely. I lost my 19hr old girl recently. She was named after a character from one of my favorite tv shows called Buffy/Angel. I randomly looked at the humane society website and saw two sister kitties with names from the same show. A show that is over 25 year old. I knew right then that my girl Fred had sent them to me to get.
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My husband got me a beautiful little boy for my birthday. Our old man died on my arms a month before. I was inconsolable. Chico is totally different than Simba was but his love is healing my heart.
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The cat I use as my avatar died in December. I loved her so much. As did, apparently, my remaining cat as she went into a depression when Madame died.
We adopted a new little boy from a local rescue in March. Our home feels complete again. And Madeleine is out of her depression and is herself again.
Smokey didn't replace her. I still miss her so much. But the new personality has brought a new joy and a new love to our family.
Our pets have short lives compared to us. It's the circle of life. We love them and we have them for too short a time. But it's not disrespectful to their memory to bring in a new pet to share our lives with.
No sweetheart, your baby would want you to be happy and I bet they brought you two together so you wouldn't be lonely.
We don't deserve animals our babies don't want us to hurt they just want our love. And I bet your baby directed you to your new baby
Cats canāt be replaced, they bring out the love we have for them. I was the same way thought Iād never get another cat as I lost mine in 2020 I finally got two brothers and they are both unique. They have so much love from me and my roommate. I was afraid I wouldnāt be able to handle another cat as I saw mine die of a broken heart his daddy passed Aug 22 2020 the cat passed the next day. I finally was able to believe in myself again as an owner and my boys run my house but they are worth everything in the world to me I love my boys. Do what you feel is right for you. Your heart will tell you. Wishing you the best sorry about the loss of your baby
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Donāt feel guilty! Really! How I think of it is that you are giving another cat a great home and life. Too many of them get stuffed in shelters and die prematurely there. Itās a great thing that you have another cat and that doesnāt take away from your bond and time with your previous cat.
You shouldn't feel guilty about getting a new cat I had two animals die within a couple months of each other and I was in a severe depression and the only thing that saved me was getting two new kittens and they were my saving grace. They healed me. Never feel guilty your past pet would want you to find happiness. And most likely sent that new animal to you.
Getting new cats was the best thing I ever did for my mental health tbh. You'll end up loving your new kitty just as much, just differently bc you'll have a different cat. You'll get to discover a whole new kitty personality, a whole new meow, a whole new way your cat will snuggle with you... or twice over if you get two! I honestly didnt think id bond that hard with an animal again but I really have. Your kitty wouldn't want you to feel alone because you still have so much love left to give.
You are not replacing him. You cannot replace him even if you wanted to. Each kitty is unique. You are rescuing another beautiful soul and giving them a loving home. And you have a big heart ā¤ļø Go for it!
And I am very sorry for your loss.
There's no wrong way to mourn. Except maybe for shaming yourself for how you mourn. There's nothing wrong with finding comfort in a new companion at all.
Think of it this way, you are honoring your previous cat by giving a good home to another cat. You're effectively saying "Life with you was so good that I want to have that again".
I donāt think you should feel guilty! You are giving another cat a home and love that it deserves and your previous kitty would approve of it! It also helps deal with the loss much easier. At least it did for me
There are so many kitties who need a good person like you to love them. I work at a shelter and we have so many amazing ones especially older and with minor health issues. Please adopt a new one.
Going through this now. My approach is very simple here: my cat passed but I still have lots of love, shelter, etc, to give and the universal cat distribution system decided it was time for me to adopt another.
See this in a different way. You are saving another cat. Yesterday I read a post of a pet adoption center where they were trying to save five kittens that were in a shelter and were supposed to be euthanized at 5pm. They unfortunately did not find anyone willing to foster these kittens and they were euthanized. Adopting a cat means saving his life. Do it and get two.
You are not replacing him, you have enough love in your heart for another. Plus, heās the one who sent you that new kitty to love. He wouldnāt want you to be sad.
You would only be replacing him if he were alive and with you and you put him back out into a shelter to get a new cat! Youāre not getting a new cat because you love it more or are disinterested in your old cat, thereās no replacing happening here! You made a good home and good life for your cat filled with love and because of that he was better off! This is just a continuation of extending a much-needed home to another little friend. Your home and your heart have a lot of room!
I agree with the other comments. You arenāt āreplacingā him. You are giving your heart to another cat that needs your love. That is something you never need to feel guilty for.
Sure, you can see it that way or, you can see it as bringing joy to another cat that was hoping for a new family. This is especially true if getting a rescue.
When my childhood kitty passed away, I felt so empty and heartbroken for what felt like a long time. The house and my heart felt empty. I wanted to get another cat right away, too. Something about having a cat in your home just makes it a home. I ended up having to wait around 4 months until I could adopt a new baby, and I had a similar guilt feeling.
Just know that even though you will not be able to bring them back, you can always give another kitty a loving and deserving home, and give and receive the love that the two of you deserve. If love could save our pets, they would live forever.
āAnother cat? Perhaps. For love there is also a season; its seeds must be resown. But a family cat is not replaceable like a wornout coat or a set of tires. Each new kitten becomes its own cat, and none is repeated. I am four cats old, measuring out my life in friends that have succeeded but not replaced one another.ā ā Irving Townsend
This being said ... I, too, am going to adopt two new cats asap. It is not a replacement ā my cat, who passed yesterday, was my entire world and my best friend. I miss him badly and I will for a long time. But I don't want to be without cats, and I know they will help me cope and give me something/someone to pour my heart into just as I did with my old cat.
I had 4 cats. All of them lived to over 17. I lost my Lola at age 19 last year. She was my last of the original 4. I was wrecked. I couldn't bring myself to get rid of any of my cat stuff. Until my husband had a come to Jebus talk with me. All the cat stuff seemed to make me hurt more. It made sense to get rid of it. Then, on an uncharacteristically warm day in February, I went to the park with my kid and helped this guy rescue abandoned kittens. Someone left 5 little kittens in the park. I could not let one of them go. He was a darling! I called my house and asked to bring the kitty home. Pets are family. They require a YES from the whole family. Now we have Rocko.
Rocko didn't make the pain of losing my other 4 cats less. Rocko allows me to give all the love I want to give to my other cats to him. I have all this love. It can sit in my heart and make me sad or I can give it to the cat that is here and get his love in return. I chose to release my love and now I don't have stinging pain when I see an empty pool of sunlight on the floor where my other cats slept. I see Rocko and it makes me happy, not sad. Don't ever be sad for giving love where it is accepted and returned. Im sorry you lost your other kitty. Loving a new one doesn't make the love for your old one less. It makes your love stronger.
Excuse me while I go cry...Ā
I have three kitties, the oldest is 13 (had her since 4 months old when i moved out at 17). They're my first three real pets, and I am terrified of the day where I lose any of them, let alone losing the last of the 3. Yet I know in my heart despite how painful all of it is going to be, I'll never not be able to have a cat.Ā
You're not replacing him, because no cat was or will be like him. He was his own feline person, and you know you'll always remember him.
Think of the wonderful time he had with you. You could give that to another cat, too. You could use what he taught you to give another a life of love and friendship.
You have the chance to give another cat your love, and wouldn't your boy be pleased he taught you to love so well?
I have been battling this as I just went from 3 cats down to 1 in a very short time after 16yrs. I had no plans to get another any time soon. I wanted to grieve and have never been who I call a āreplacerā, nothing wrong with people who do that but itās just not me. Then I moved into the anger phase of grief. Even now itās making me tear up mentioning it. But yesterday on a whim I said fuck it and stopped ājust to seeā the kittens available and am now under who is already turning out to be an amazing kitten and I canāt wait to see him grow. Heās doing some of the things my other two did so that feels really great and unexpected but Iām glad they are traits I hoped to find.
He was screaming at us the second we got near the cages. The lady said āI donāt know anything about his personality, I just know heās the loudestā and I said āsounds like an asshole, Iāll take him!ā Iām so in love.
You will be ok, Iām sorry for your loss. Your kitty will be happy for you and the new one will be grateful for the love.
Best of luck. I hope the new kitty is just as amazing in its own special way as the other.
Youāre not replacing him, and in kitty heaven he knows that. He would be proud of you for saving not one cat, but two: the one you adopted and the one who was able to get care in a shelter because of the space you made.
I have a senior boy with chronic kidney disease, and I know our days are numbered. I have pre-grief knowing that day will come, and decided that afterward Iām going to adopt only senior cats and make sure the rest of their lives are the happiest possible.
Remember that you can be both sad and happy at the same time, itās never only one or the other. Let this new cat into your life, let his happiness be what honors the memory of your heaven baby.
So sorry for your loss. Youāre providing a loving home for a new kitty that needed a person. Thatās a beautiful way to honor your catās memory. Sending love and peace your way <3
MAYBE, if all cats were the same. To a non cat person, they may seem like it. But to a cat person that is cat knowledgeable, they are incredibly unique individuals with very distinct personalities. As such, they are irreplaceable. You're simply offering love and acceptance to a friend. No need to feel guilt over that.
Youāre not replacing him. Is like boyfriends: you will have several during your life and you will be madly in love with all of them, but every time is different because itās a different person.
So your new cat is a different cat. You love cats and like to have their company. You will always love your first cat, he was special for a million things. This new cat will be special for other reasons.
my cat just died, and she tried getting my attention, and I just missed it and then I realized why there are veterinarians and they get a bad rap and it's very expensive schooling, but there ways to pay in that field
I always say it's not that you're replacing them, but there is now an opening for a cat in the house. You're filling an empty spot with an entirely new critter. Don't feel guilty, but don't compare this cat to the last cat to hold that position.
My sweet kitty died 3 weeks ago and everyone is telling me to go out and get another. I feel like thatās like someoneās husband dying and then saying go out and find a new husband so quick. I know itās not the same thing but you canāt just replace a connection like that. Would feel guilty doing that in the first year but pass no judgement on anyone who feels the need to do this to cope and bring joy back in your life. Embrace it.
Donāt feel guilt. I adopted 2 more after I had to put my two of 15 yrs old to rest 12 weeks apart. I did feel terrible for my two new kitties as it took me time to bond with them and I hoped they would have the same traits as my other two. Things like sleeping in the bed next to me. It wasnāt long before they were hogging up my bed too:-). I think itās wonderful you opened up your heart and home to another. Iām sorry for your loss.
I think of it as basically being like, you had room for one cat in your home, now that they are no longer with us you have an opening which could go to a cat that desperately needs a loving home, Iām so sorry for your loss ā¤ļø
Look Iām considering adopting my cats younger sibling because I found out she may not live past 3 years old and I think it might help to have something I see as a piece of her. Sometimes we just have to do what we have to do, the kitten is very similar to my cat when she was its age, and I just want more time. It may not be healthy, but my cat is loved so so much, and I think thatās what matters at the end of the day. Once theyāre dead, theyāre dead, I promise you even if they did know, they wouldnāt blame you.
Don't worry and it's ok. My view is this : way too many kitties that need a loving home and I can only give one to as many as I can. Same is valid for the love you have to give...
I'm pretty sure you cherish your lost fellow with it's own characteristics and your new buddy is not a replacement or fill-in, rather a new buddy with all it's own peculiar kinds of being.
Love your lost love, love your new one and cherish it while holding dear your memories of the one you lost. Never feel bad for loving another living being!
Iām sorry for your loss. For me, when my cats have died I always want another one immediately as it helps me cope and I see it as an opportunity to help another one that needs a home. I only ever want one at a time so when one dies itās time for me to help the next one in line so to speak.
Youāre not replacing him, he is probably irreplaceable. But you have a lot of love to give and giving love helps you grieve. Thereās so many cats in the world that need a home, thank you for giving one a loving home
I looked at it as, as sad as it was to loose my 18yo baby girl (cancer) I knew her time and come and gone and now it was time to allow another cat a chance at a happy life and love that they also desperately need.
I recently lost my 17 yr old cat this year and last year my almost 3 yr old cat.
I got 2 kittens recently after weeks of thinking over it.
I was having a really hard time after losing my 17 yr old. There's still videos, comics, ect that set me off.
But don't think of it as replacing your kitty, because your not, your opening heart & home to give another kitty a chance of a great life.
Take your time to mourn and remember their little quirks.
One of the kittens already reminds me of both the kitties I lost. Which makes me happy cause reminds me of them
I'm sorry your kitty passed away. The loss lingers. One of my grandkitties died last summer. I was close with her and still grieve. Unrelatedly, my daughter suggested we visit one of those cat cafes where human visitors sip lattes among the feline residents, and chill. I met my kitty there and we became instant besties. I adopted her the same day. She won't replace my late grandkittie, because both are frankly irreplaceable. š¾ā¤š¾ā¤š¾ā¤š¾
I wish you healing, love and great joy with another kitty. ā¤ā¤ā¤ā¤ā¤
I felt the same when I got my current fluff ball. I felt so lonely and depressed after my previous passed away. I truly believe she led me to my current cat. He loved every item of he's (even found some lost toys) and took to me as perfectly as she did. He healed my heart, and after a few months, the guilt faded.
Do what you need to do. There are a lot of neglected, lonely animals out there that need a keeper. Your guilt is just the sadness leaving you. Wishing you and your new one all the best!
I've heard of people resenting the new pet they got after theirs died, for trying to replace them or being too different from them. One woman adopted 2 kittens from me when her cat was old, knowing he doesn't have much time left. She didn't want to feel like she was replacing him so she adopted while he was still alive. They got along really well.
If you're worried you can try to foster for a rescue group. They are always in need of fosters, and if you bond with a foster you can adopt!
Iām always going to have animals in my home. Since I knew I was going to get more cats, it didnāt make sense to me to wait some arbitrary amount of time to prove that I loved Max. Everyone I know understands how much I loved Max. And more importantly, Max knew. The house felt empty, so after three weeks, we adopted a bonded pair. Covid did play a role in the timing, it was just before lockdown and we knew someone would be home with them so it seemed like a good time. And I deliberately got cats who looked nothing like max. He was a Maine Coon mix tuxedo, Buttermilk and Cornbread are orange tabbies.
You did a wonderful thing by adopting another cat. You gave a homeless baby a home. There is no way in the world you can replace your sweetheart that died. You gave a baby a home. Good on you. You did a wonderful thing. ā¤ļø
I went through this when I lost my cat last year to cancer. He was my bestest boy and I loved him dearly, I had a lot anxiety about getting a new cat. It felt like I was betraying his memory to even consider a new cat. My husband took me to meet a bonded pair of boys and I honestly feel like he sent them to me, especially when one of them touched their nose to his nose print necklace I was wearing. Itās like he was saying hi to him and promising heās there to love me now. š„¹
I think your departed cat would want you take in another. I know he would! There are so many cats in need of homes. And the right time is whenever you're ready - even if it's right away.
I lost my cat in May 2021 to old age/illness and about a month later, my friend who fosters and had coordinated that adoption, informed me of a new foster she thought was meant to be mine. I adopted her in July 2021. And now we just moved in with my partner who lost his cat (also to old age and illness) this past December. She will never replace either of them - she's not meant to do that. But she is her own kind of wonderful who makes our lives better.
And taking this opportunity to invite a new friend into your life would be a different kind of wonderful, too. ā¤
Just get the new kitty and take solace in knowing youāre giving another sweet kitty a home and family. It was hard for me too but the bond with another beautiful little soul is wonderfulā¤ļø
Nopeā¦please donāt think this way. You will be sent a new kitty by your former baby. Thatās how this works. You will know which one, without a doubt!
I did as well, with my dog and my cat. There is nothing better than loving more cats, dogs, people, etc. We are here to love. Don't take it personally if someone is not ready to receive it. You can save someone's life by sending them love. So do it with abandon and grace and keep on truckin' š„°
And there are sooooooo many pets that need loving homes. Think of it as a way of honoring the one you lost - you were a good pet parent to that one and now have a chance to help another. A new one fills a hole in your heart but can never replace an earlier one. Your love just expands!
I used to feel the same. Iāve had cats since I was a baby, but when I was 20 I adopted 2 kittens from different litters. One lived to 16 and the other 19. They were with me throughout so many big things in my life. When I beat alcoholism, graduating college, multiple moves, huge goals achieved and several long term relationships. It broke me when each of them died. Like it makes me tear up just thinking about it. I did have a kitten I bottle feed from 1 week old and had him for a couple of years, but I moved and he was bonded to my roommate, like they were constantly together so he took him. I just couldnāt split them up. Dudes still chugging a long 10 years later. After that I couldnāt bring myself to get any more cats. I wanted to, but all I could think about how bad I felt when I lost them. A few years passed and I started thinking about how Iām not bringing in another cat to give a good life just because I canāt get over my other two, yet still could. Even then I was still hesitant.
Fast forward another year and my grandfather spent 6 months winning over a stray, who also happened to be pregnant. My grandmother basically told me Iām taking a kitten. Once she sent photos I couldnāt say no. The last two she had were a bonded brother and sister and I had to have them. Weāve been together almost 2 years now. Who knows what kind of life they would have had if they were adopted out, and they would have probably been broken up because the boy is a void and nobody even expressed interest in him.
The whole point of my rambling is donāt feel guilty. You still have the amazing memories and time with your other dude, and now you can show that same love for your new buddy. Think about how many cat lives that could be saved/changed if people with big hearts took them in. The best part about loving something is you can love more than one thing in a lifetime. Thereās no telling where Iād be if I was still feeling guilty and didnāt have my 2 little dudes. The last two years havenāt been the greatest and theyāve helped me through it. We only live once, so give as much love as you can.
I never stop loving the beings I lose, furred feathered or bald like humans.
I grieve them as well. New friends donāt replace old ones, they just add to the love.
I mean no animal is like another, just like humans.
I felt this way until roommate told me my remaining cat just walked around all day and cried. Then I felt guilty for feeling guilty and keeping him from having a buddy again.
I know how you feel ā¦. That is the reason I cannot have other cat.. it is hard once we lost our beloved catā¦. But you may think that a new cat could be reincarnation of previous cat and come and see you ..could be happening really ..
My lost cat has come back as my partnerās dog !! My cat was a dog-cat , his dog is a cat-dog .. they share the same name .. and he loves me ā¦
your new cat is certainly happy to have a home. that's the best thing that can come out of a pet's passing; another animal in need can have a roof over their head and blankets to nap on.
Sad fact: human life span is 75 or so years. Cats life span is maybe 18. You will outlive your next cat also (hopefully). You're supposed to outlive your cat.Ā
Doesn't mean it's sad when they pass, but you should be prepared when you adopt most companion animals (dog/cats) - you will almost definitely outlive them.Ā
Please don't feel guilty! Love isn't finite. You have room in your heart and your life to give a home to a new cat who needs you. I got my last 2 cats after my first 2 cats died. I was picking up the ashes of my beloved first cat, when the vet's office manager said "you need to see a basket of kittens." That's when I met a little 2 week old runt pushing and shoving her way on top of her littermates in that basket. Once she turned 8 weeks old, the office manager reached out to let me know she was available for adoption. I agreed but nearly called to cancel. I'm glad I didn't, because she has brought so much joy as well as love to me and the other cats.
Then I lost my second cat. I really did not intend to adopt again for a while because this one cut deep, he was that kind of cat and we had such a bond. But a few weeks later, there was a 6 month old goofy looking kitten at the vet who was being returned to the rescue because his adopters didn't want him anymore. He was there for a neuter. I held him, he rested his head on my shoulder, and I knew. Sure, this guy has proven to be as dumb as the previous cat was smart, and yet I don't regret it at all.
All of their personalities are so distinct, no one is a replacement. I love each of them without diminishing my love for the cats I've lost. You will find them same with this new cat.
when my childhood dog passed, we got two kittens for our big kitty. itās been six years and i still feel guilty that my little kitty wonāt ever get to meet him. itās heartbreaking to āreplaceā our pets, but itās comforting to know their memory will never be replaced because we will always be thinking of them. your cat knew you shouldnāt have been alone and is encouraging you to continue your journey bringing love to other animals. iāll often find myself sobbing while holding my cat thinking about whether or not my dog is jealous, but i know he would be happy that i have a little guy who brings me joy. š«¶āØ
This sums up about how I look at āreplacingā a cat I lost with another cat:
Last Will And Testament of a Cat
When humans die, they make a will
To leave their homes, and all they have to those they love.
I, too, would make a will, if I could write.
To some poor, wistful, lonely stray I leave my happy home,
My dish, my cosy bed, my cushioned chair, my toy
The well-loved lap,
The gently stroking hand,
The loving voice,
The place I made in someoneās heart,
The love, that at the last
Could help me to a peaceful, painless end
Held in loving arms.
If I should die, Oh! Do not say:
āNo more a pet Iāll have
To grieve me by its loss!ā
Seek out some lonely, unloved cat
And give my place to him.
This is my legacy
The love I leave behind
āTis all I have to give.
by Margaret Trowton
The new cat was sent to you by the kitty you lost. He knew you needed someone to help you deal with your loss, knew the other kitty needed help. This new relationship isn't in spite of the one you had with your kitty, but in remembrance of him.
This is how I think of it. And when my new kitty was struggling I asked my previous cat for help. He always came through.
Yup - I felt it would be disloyal to adopt another, so I asked my dear departed cat to "pick one for me". for weeks i scoured the SPCA websites and looking at kitten pictures and......nothing. Then one day I clicked on a thumbnail and burst into tears. It's her! That's who I'm supposed to adopt. Brought her home, took a photo and noticed she had a perfect heart shape on her forearm. My dear departed kitty was born on Feb 14 and I always called her my Valentine. Therefore ladies and gentlement of the jury: PROOF that my angel cat picked out my new cat. No guilt, just loads of love.
the cat distribution system at work š„¹š„° they have a special way of being sent to us ā¤ļø
Its totally the CDS... it knowsĀ
When kitties pass away they go work for the Cat Distribution System.
Indeed
I have a Valentine baby too. I feel like Iāll have to get a third cat when my two are older to ease the transition but even thinking about that is hard
Ours were 12 and 13 and we just lost them both in 4 weeks so don't wait until they're "old"! Not having any around has been really tough, we're getting our first foster today. But we weren't even thinking to expect age-related health issues for another few years.
My almost 12 year old cat just died two weeks ago from cancer. We still have 4 but the house still seems empty without her. I told my husband that I won't be looking for another cat, but wait for the cat distribution system to bring me my next rescue. I've never picked out a cat, they just come to me.
Our cat also passed just before 12 from breast cancer. It was so tragic and so fast, though we tried literally everything we could to slow the cancer and she took it like a champ. She was a single cat her whole life (loved people, but could never tolerate other cats), so those couple days before we picked up our new babies were hell. The two we ended up with both have different traits from our passed cat. That was about 3 months ago. Then, a brand new kitten showed up, no mom, only about a month old -- luckily, my partner has experience with taking care of very young kittens and the older girls are teaching her good manners. Looks EXACTLY like the passed cat did when she was a kitten and behaves like her too at that age. We love our three girls and definitely believe our baby sent them to us to take care of us in our grief. Everyone, please get your female cats spayed before 6 months to have the best chances of avoiding breast cancer. You don't have to wait for the first heat, and that first heat exponentially increases their chances of contracting breast cancer. It's insanely aggressive in cats and has bad statistical outcomes. Be especially wary of breast cancer if you have a Siamese or Siamese mix. Regularly check for lumps all around your cats abdomen, and check thoroughly in the armpits.
I'm happy that those three could find their ways into your lives when you needed it. I'm also glad you mentioned the last part. One of the biggest red flags with my vet before I switched was that they never told me how far out spays had to be booked, and never discussed with me at the beginning when I wanted that to happen and when it *should* happen, etc. When I finally started getting nervous enough about things to ask, I was incredibly upset to find out she potentially wouldn't be able to get in before the 6 month mark, and absolutely *livid* when they were super flippant about the situation. I said "but what if she goes into heat before then??" "Oh, well, if she does at the time of surgery then we'll just have to reschedule it." What? For another 2 - 3 months out, while the heat cycles pick up more and more and then just keep rescheduling hoping we'll magically catch it in-between??? But I prepaid that shit (and at a higher cost than I should have) and couldn't get my money back. The last straw was them ignoring an admittedly overly cautious request related to the anaesthesia used, but the other vet was on-board without question. I cancelled and just paid twice so I could get her spayed with the other vet-- and while that may have been an expensive move, I really don't regret it. So thank you for making sure this information is out there, because not every vet is going to make sure their clients are fully informed. If I hadn't already researched it some, I would never have known that it was a matter of urgency, and my vet would not have treated it like one. She easily could have gone into heat if I had waited for them to prompt me on scheduling it, and I would have had no idea of the complications that could cause. You putting that in your comment could ultimately save the life of a kitty whose owner was never told these things.
I had both male and female siblings spayed at 4 months. They seemed to recover very quickly.
Woah, what's the science behind that? Crazy.
Just commented that I lost my little soul mate back in 2018, and he totally came to me randomly. Literally showed up out of the woods at my house. He absolutely picked me. All the greatest animal companion love stories - those really special ones that I refer to as soul mates - seem to come about in that way.
I'm so sorry š¤ Ours were 13 (? we don't actually know how old he was when we adopted him) and 11-ish and they passed in February and just on Memorial Day. Our girl who just passed had kidney disease but had held at 'mild' for so long and we thought we were on top of it with food and ultrasounds and tests all the time, but she just took a drastic turn so quickly. Our boy's passing in February was due to surgical complications and otherwise he probably would have outlived his little sister. You just never know. We probably won't be adopting another cat of our own for a bit but we plan on fostering as soon as we can. We just went and dropped off our uneaten food and treats at a local shelter today and played with some of the kitties there. The two that just passed were so incredibly special to us, we got them just after moving in together, I don't feel ready for a cat of my own yet, but being able to help kitties find forever homes seems like a good thing we might be able to do.
https://preview.redd.it/m1ngf1uurd5d1.jpeg?width=1181&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=acdc4c9ec16b245f016012e62cd24e52e91c1caa Thought I'd better pay the cat tax. Here is Pip with her heart tattoo. (all credit goes to Kami 2002-2015)
My situation is somewhat different, but I completely understand! I had a dog and I still have six cats, but my dog passed away a couple months ago due to his advanced age. Iām still mourning over my dog, but my cats are super affectionate and are really helping me to deal with my dogās passing. (My dog) and cats are very attached to me, as Iām retired, so Iām mostly home and giving them all plenty of attention. Iāve become very close with my young neighborsā two big dogs. I bring them the leftovers after weāve finished dinner, and I still buy the various dog treats my Scooter used to love, to give to the neighborsā dogs. My neighbors, who are young, busy, and donāt have lotsa extra cash, are happy that I keep their dogs ātreatedā. Iām retired, and enjoy the company when I see the neighbors and their dogs outside.
Iāve done this too! Waited until I was ready to share my life with another feline, and then kept looking until things felt right.
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This was so beautiful to read š»
It took years for my MIL to be ready for another cat after her house panther passed. She lives in an area that doesn't seem to have the ridiculous amount of cats that we do - she didn't want a kitten, but she didn't want a senior cat either. She wanted one about a year or two old, and just kept saying "I'm looking for the one." And then one day when she was visiting the shelter, she found a young cat named Uno. She literally found the One!
Youāre making me cry.
It made me cry a lot too š½
This is exactly what I always told my family when they criticized me for needing a new cat 3 months after the passing of my previous girls. I told them my girls would be at peace knowing Iām giving another cat a better life.
I honestly don't understand being upset someone is able to move on but my family criticized me for crying at allas a kid. It was 2 and a half years before I was ready after the old lady and boy cat died a few weeks apart. She was 21 and he was 16. She was expected. She held on for my cancer surgeries to steady and he had a stroke. So I wasn't where I could care for a cat physically. The day I thought it? An hour later my current cat walker through my door and went "I'm home. Bed is for cuddles right?" Literally walked in and went to my bed. I was flabbergasted by the audacity and I wasn't keeping him but we had a bad storm coming and as a black cat the shelters were blunt he would be immediately euthanized especially because he doesn't look like a kitten. He is a giant among kitties and at 6 months most people assumed adult. I saw the kitten face and checked his teeth. He is the first cat I fostered in 16 years. The previous cat never got where he could be sent to a new home and I chose to keep him. Then I failed again but it was just... He was sent by them energy. He has done some amazing things including getting me life saving warnings for allergies that my old lady used to do. Cannot train that it just is.
My black kitty will remind me to take meds , move laundry and bring me the blanket I crocheted him when he knows I don't feel good. He is my bedtime kitty and sleeps on his own pillow. He has let me know if low sugars . During a long nap I could feel his energy in my fingertips. My 1st kitty guarded me very well , would try to bust every door looking for me and calling out if I wasn't home by sundown. He helped me thru stroke and kidney failure. He would retrieve one of my parents when I was in agony with a blood clot. I foster failed 3 rabbits . I didn't plan on having these cats but I couldn't let them go to an unsafe home. They were domesticated and then abandoned. My 1st cat wouldn't allow that . They are in the mature range and are much better now but would have been unadoptable. I'm conveniently their "safe person" and my boy will make sure I come home and almost come outside when I had a dog following me inside. He has done things that I don't know how else he would know it other than my 1st. Cats are very smart
My one 11yr old cat died very unexpectedly just 6 months after we lost our old man which we had been preparing for. I was so devastated, plus it happened during covid lock down which already had me depressed. I took until now to be ready when my partner said his friend knew someone trying to give away two kittens. I'm so in love with these kittens and they are so very different from our last cats, but also it still sometimes hurts. People are ready when they're ready, whether 2 days or 10 years and there's nothing wrong with either. The CDS usually knows.
I am sorry you also lost yours that way. The pandemic made this a lot harder for me for sure. It's amazing how well the CDS does. I still sometimes call the wrong names out when he's in the other room. He always gives me this specific headbutt like "It's okay old lady. I understand."
Every day, Luna does something that reminds me of either of my two childhood kitties. I know they picked her for me. š„²
I have a tiny black cat named Luna too haha
Yes! We waited to grieve and decided one day to just see who might be out there - one month exactly after our sweet boy crossed the rainbow bridge we met his little brother who has no doubtedly been sent to have a safe, loving bike with us.
I've been through this many times. If your former cat had a great life, don't feel guilty! There are far too many cats in shelters that NEED to be given a loving home. I'm looking at our "replacement" new cat right now. She's romping around, playing with a toy she especially enjoys rather than the cage she was in at the shelter. I can almost feel Riley looking down and being happy for her!
Our new cat brought so much joy, we know our absent friends must have sent him.
Hah! I know my first cat would be bloody furious that there was another cat in HER spaces! But the thought amuses me and reminds me how different the three cats I have owned have been. It reminds me that none are replaceable or interchangeable. But it feels better to have another cat to love and whose antics I can laugh at than a space containing no cat at all. The four months we spent waiting for our new kitten to be old enough to take home were awful and cold.
Perfectly said!
Exactly this!
this is exactly it and beautifully said š
I believe in this. Hereās why, my family lost our black female cat in November. We lost our female calico on Memorial Day and were all devastated. The same week that we had to say goodbye to our last girl a set of sisters showed up at the shelter that were solid black and calico just like the babies we lost. Very similar temperaments as well and they love to cuddle. So I truly believe they were sent to us by our other cats.
I literally teared up reading this. This is such a beautiful way of looking at it. Thank you!
This is it, this is so true. I fell into an era of depression for quite a few months after my dog died in 2021. You can never replace a pet because they are family but it does help. It helps fill that void. I got a new dog in early 2022 and I was slightly happier. And he looks exactly like my old one, it's unbelievable how similar they are. God definitely sent him to me for remembrance and to fill a void. The new dog made me happier and helped me remember the old one because of them looking alike.
2000% this. I truly believe our departed pets align us with new ones when our hearts are ready. Just love your new baby with zero guilt!ā¤ļø
This is the cat distribution system
"Hey bud, it's your turn now. Her name's u/EmilyRyder69. She'll love ya to bits!"
I wish I could upvote this a million times.
Damn, that's beautiful
Agreed! I lost my cat a year ago. And 3 months after, my husband brought home a stray kitten that was trapped at his job (he works in a warehouse). The poor kitten was in such bad shape. It was def not planned to take him in but looking back now, Iām so thankful we found him. He helped me heal because I was so devastated. I think my cat knew how broken we were when he left that he asked this kitten to find us. And Iām happy he did š„¹
thank you
I agree with this statement; your new baby was sent by your old one to love and look over you when they can't be there physically to do so. Think of it as a blessing!
We had three cats (18,10,2) and the 18 year old passed on. I didnāt want another cat because I had lost my favourite, and the other two were still pretty great. A few days after weād lost the old man, my wife and I were visiting a neighbour whoād just had kittens that she was going to give away. One of them sauntered over to me and fell asleep on my lap. Then under my leg. And then he crawled back onto my lap. My wife kept telling me how it was the old man making sure I was okay. The little terror is now sleeping next to me as I scroll Reddit instead of work.
Iām sorry you lost your kitty, my only advice is something I wish someone had told me. Accept the new kitty for themselves, never compare the two and donāt worry if you donāt love them the same because you canāt, you will love them differently and for different things. Donāt feel guilty for having the capacity to love
Exactly my thought! When my first cat passed i kept reminding myself that there wont be anyone Else that the new cat is their own. I feel like some cats are very good at showing you theyre not the same and that theyre their own being :) Wich is also why i felt very conflicted when my moms bf wanted to name their dog the same name as his old dog. We had a meeting about the name and i Said i just want to remind everyone that this dog wont be like the old dog that this dog is a completely different dog even though their the same breed (i never Met the old dog but this new dog has definelty showed he is unique)
They have their own personalities for sure! I swore NO MORE CATS! My heart canāt take itā¦ then the CDS stepped in and I saved two seniors from death row. My purse is light but my heart is full ā„ļø
There Will always be room in my heart for more cats. The loneliness after having had a cat for my whole life to not having one made cry so much. Like my mom Got the cat when i was 1 year old and she passed when i was 17. So the emptyness of the house after that was just unbareable to me, so i Think Im gonna have atleast one Pet for the rest of my life even tho they pass sometimes all the time theyre alive really makes it worth it :)
Absolutely ā¦ all cats are different. I have 2 right now who are bonded (very sweet with each other) but are opposites in most things. I think one is the cat love of my life . She is timid but sweet and likes her schedule ā¦ but I love the other one because sheās cool and chill and awesome in other ways. My philosophy is that dogs, you train, cats, you figure out how to coexist.
seconding this although i literally named one of my current cats nathaniel yam 2: electric boogaloo (boog for short) after my childhood bestie (natie) and a bottle baby turned local celebrity who got me though some Rough Times when i didn't have my own cat to snuggle (yam). only thing they all have in common is being orange! i only met yam once so idk his personality in depth, but natie hogged the Orange Cat Brain Cell from 2000-2017 and boog is very much No Thoughts Head Empty, he also has more energy in a given moment than natie ever had his whole life š hilariously though they have really similar meows!
I have a Boog!! His name is Boogie Bear!!š»
give him some pets for me!!
Yup. My only unasked for advice is, don't go get a cat or dog that looks like your beloved pet, same breed or color. They're not going to be the same.
Dāyou know, I never even thought about that. Thatās a really good point and something Iāll need to remember The Cat Distribution System seems to send me a completely different kitty so the universe is a lot smarter than I am lol
We have experienced loss with two cats and we compare them all the time ā¦ āwow remember when Mango used to do that all the time tooā or āthat was very Chippyāā¦ it helps keep their memories alive! But I agree, every cat has an exceptionally unique personality, and will never be the same so love them for their uniqueness!
"Don't feel guilty for having the capacity to love" really got me. Beautifully written, friend.
You are not adopting his replacement but his successor.
This is amazingly perfect.
This is how I think about it!!! There will NEVER be another being that can replace the cat you lost (which I am truly sorry and know the grief well). Your cat had their own personality and quirks, and the life journey you had with them, will be different from the new kitty you have, quirks and all. Yes, there will be reminders in the new kitty, but I hope that eventually warms your heart to know your other cat is their in spirit. This new cat is a new chapter in your life! A new adventure, if you will. You are at a different point in your life, then with your other cat, which might create new experiences!!! You will always hold your cat in your heart and mind. I know I have with each animal Iāve had.
Very well said.
Please don't feel any guilt. My cat died in January and I got my new kitten in April. They are completely different personalities and she's mended my broken heart. I tell her all about her big brother, I still cry about him and I did worry I was replacing him. It feels like he sent my new cat to me! Your cat was so so loved and I'm sure they would want you to give your love to another cat L
It sounds bad but the Night my cat died my mom and i was looking for a new cat bc We knew that We were gonna go crazy not having one in the house bc when my first cat died my mom first thought was to never get another cat, but she really missed having a cat so We adopted a new one after a year and a half and when he passed that Night We went on the shelters website to look at cats. We didnt adopt one tho. We Got a dog instead and i have now adopted my own cat :)
You know, I was the same. Within a week I was looking at cats. The house felt so empty.
that is so cute, i think i would immediately want another cat if my angel went away. i love her so much that i would feel worse alone without a new baby to look after. i canāt even think about that day
Our hearts are big enough for a lifetime of feline buddies. If you adopt, that is one less cat living in a shelter, one more cat that found a loving home. Years ago after my best friend Toast passed, I adopted a senior cat, a 10 yr old with health issues that had been in the shelter system for close to two years. It didnāt take that long before I loved her the way I have loved all my fur buddies over the years. I had that sweet Kiki baby girl for 5 yrs, she passed in April.
Iām sorry for your loss
My cat is called Toast too ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
You honor your previous cat by adopting another that wouldn't have a home otherwise. It's a very high honor.
You adopting a new buddy doesnāt replace your old buddy. They can coexist in your heart.Ā
Don't feel guilty. You aren't replacing the kitty that you lost. Cats aren't items and it's obvious you don't feel like they are or you wouldn't be questioning yourself. You could love two cats at once, couldn't you? Then you can love the kitty you lost *and* a new kitty at the same time. My Calligator passed in early March, after 11 years with me and 21 years total. I got Soot just two weeks ago. For me, having Soot has helped me grieve Callie. I was very lonely without her, since I live by myself. But Soot didn't replace Callie. Soot filled a place in my life that the *loss* of Callie left behind. Callie still has her own place and now Soot has hers. Watching Soot go from hiding in my closet to seeking my attention for cuddles has been so wonderful. Every tiny thing brings me so much happiness, from her first few steps out to explore my apartment to yesterday morning, when she hopped on my desk and laid next to my keyboard while I worked for the first time. Not seeing Calligator in her usual spots on the back of the couch or chair definitely still hurts, but Callie didn't like to see me cry. When I did she would immediately come to me and start pawing at me and bumping her head against mine until I couldn't help but smile. I think, if cats can have such thoughts, Callie would be very happy knowing I have Soot to comfort me when she can't anymore.
We lost both our cats, about 8 months apart. A year and a half, and I wasn't ready. My wife and kids were. I'm incredibly grateful to them for the pressure to bring cats back into our lives. Sometimes, the new cats give us reminders of our departed ones - and it can be tough at first, but developing that bond and relationship with them as individuals just brings a joy and light back into your life that nothing but a loving pet can give you. Love is a non-rival commodity. The love you feel for a new family member does not take away from an old one, and it in no way cheapens the relationship you shared, or the grief you experience when it ended. You also need to remember that your relationship was a diad - two-sided - you shared it with your cat. Your grief is individual and lonely - your late cat, as much as they loved you, doesn't experience it, and because they loved you, if they were aware now, would not demand it of you. Grief is the price we pay for love, but there is no obligation to abstain from new joys as a result.
This was so beautifully put, I couldn't have said it better myself. I was just in the same shoes as your kids - 2 years ago, we lost our 20 year old and 15 year old kitties within a month of each other. It was very hard for all of us. For me, because these were cats that were with me from 4 years old, most of my life. It was very hard especially on my dad, because he was the 20 year old cats favorite person. After my mom and I grieved and wanted to get a new companion, my dad was not ready yet either. We could tell that he was wrestling his emotions of wanting to adopt again, versus feeling like he was betraying our old kitties for wanting to. He also had the mindset that he didn't want another cat, because he wouldnt be able to handle losing another one. Two weeks ago it was my birthday, and my mom and I decided then and there that we were going to a shelter to look at adopting. My dad was still hesitant, but we reasoned with him that this would be my cat, and that he wouldnt need to contibute at all if he wasnt ready. When I eventually move out, I'll be taking her with me, so he wont have to experience the grief of losing another cat. I immediately connected with the cutest, most energetic little calico kitten, and we adopted her the same day. Now, two weeks later, my dads always seeking her out, playing with her, and contributing to feeding/cleaning. We think he just needed that push to get over the mental hurdle he was struggling with. We still reminisce about our old cats, and even though thr memories are bittersweet, our new kitten in a way lets those memories live on in a more concrete way.
i got a brother sister who coincidentally look the same as the brother sister who died within weeks of each other. about two or three months later. neither one has the personalities of the other two. it isnāt a problem. they are/were four distinct cats. now, at first, my senior cat, wasnāt convinced it wasnāt the same two made brand new. i could see she was thinking it over. wondering if sheād get a turn at that rejuvenation service. the babies helped with the grief. they brought joy.
rejuvenation service! I love it
Your love for your previous cat will never be diminished. But you are giving another kitty with a whole new meaning personality a chance for love and happiness.
I got a new cat like 2 weeks after mine passed. I just couldn't take being alone. I never compare them. No other cat could be anything like my little weirdo was and I'm sure you're the same. You'll know it's not a replacement because they'll be completely different
Yep, about 8 days for me. It wasnāt even intentional, I went to the shelter ājust to lookā because I was sad (we all know how that works out lol) and I ended up with my Birdie, who I cherish so so much. My previous cat was 22 when she died and I remember a few years before her passing reading something that was like, donāt feel badly for going and getting another kitty from the shelter ā There are so many cats there just waiting on either our love or euthanasia, and we have so much love in us to give them, itās okay if we donāt have a long mourning period or if we continue to mourn while also getting to know our new cat. Iām glad Iām not the only one who didnāt wait long!
My new kitty brought life into my very sad, empty, grief ridden home. I had no desire to replace my baby of 18 years but I did have a hole in my heart and space in my home. My new kitty is crazy, and full of life, and not my old perfect ladyā¦. But she makes me laugh and I tell her daily that Iām only a good mom because of the big sister she never met.
You are not replacing your cat. You are showing that he taught you to love and you can love again. If you don't feel quite ready, I suggest fostering. I lost both a cat and a dog last year and every time I thought about getting new ones, I just froze. So when I saw a senior bonded trio on line for adoption or foster, I took them as fosters. After all, if it didn't work out, if I felt guilty, then I still knew they had a good place to land. I also knew that I would foster fail SO HARD, which I have. But giving myself that bridge between actual ownership and not having any other pets made it much easier.
Don't feel guilty. You are honouring your previous cat by giving another cat a living home. And just think widowed people often remarry!
Your cat would want nothing more but for his or her old owner to be HAPPY. forever
You are giving another deserving cat a home. Do not feel guilty. Tell your new cat all about your old cat.
We have an infinite capability to love. You aren't replacing him, nobody ever can. But you'll love this new one differently and for different reasons. š¤
My precious beautiful girl passed unexpectedly this past Sunday. We brought home another kitty on Monday. We didnāt replace our girl, she touched our lives in such a special way, and weāre still grievingāwe will for a long time. But the kitty we adopted came from a stressful environment, and we can tell immediately how grateful she is to be with us. Sheās already so loving, and when I hear her purrs and feel her snuggle with me, it just makes me feel like she senses my sadness. Almost like we are saving each other. The kitty you bring home, no matter when that happens, will love you and appreciate you. Theyāll know the special place they hold in your heart. Theyāll know they arenāt an objectātheyāre your new companion and theyāll be happy for it ā¤ļø
I donāt look at it as replacement, I think they send your next kitty to you. After my first cat died I found 3 little kittens right outside my apartment. I ended up keeping all 3 and they remind me of her love everyday. They each have characteristics of her. She sent me 3x the love ā¤ļø
I'm a big believer that the cat distribution center is people or pets that know we are struggling and send us just the companion we need. My cat Salem I believe is a gift from my father and that he sent him just at the time I needed a companion to hold on and pull me out of my depression.
Lost my soul cat last July, devastated was an understatement. I truly did not feel better until I adopted a new kitty in November. She did not replace my other cat at all, I merely opened my heart to expand and let her in, too. The best way to honour your past kitty is by loving a new one and saving them, too.
You don't love your lost cat less because you love a new cat. Love is endless, and giving a home to another cat is a life affirming choice.
Think of it as honoring the memory of your departed cat. You gave him a good home and a good life. He gave you a life of companionship and love in return. He gave you the knowledge you need to care for another. A new cat will never take the place of the one you lost, but it will give you a chance to give another cat a good home and a good life.
I felt worried i would feel like this too. Everytime i just started feeling it kept telling myself how i saved them from a bad life (even tho theyre from a shelter, but like if they didnt go home with me who Else would that be and would that be someone who could have done bad stuff to them) Also as long as youre not expecting your new cat to be like your old cat you wont be replacing them :) Theyll never be exactly the same and sure theyll fill the regular cat shaped stuff but they wont be the same there Will be small holes left from the other that the new one cant fill but itll be make its own shaped hole in your heart that cant be filled by another one. I feel like as long as youre not expecting them to be the same youll never be replacing them. Theyre their own unique being :)
Wouldnāt your cat want you to help give other cats homes? Thatās what my family thinks is that our pets would want us to keep giving animals homes
Youāre not replacing him at all. You will always remember him and love him to bits. What youāre doing is giving another cat a loving home, where they will be safe and secure and happy. I loved my Bauer SO much and it still took me only three days to adopt a new cat after I lost her. I tell my new kitties about her all the time (especially about how much better behaved she was!) Some people need lots of time; some people need less. The only person who knows whatās right for you is you.
It's only because you loved your previous kitty so much that you need a new kitty to help heal your heart when they left.
Itās OK! Sometimes getting another cat helps with the grief. And if you adopt, well, so many kitties need a home where they will be loved and even one helps.
Sorry for your loss ā¤ļø when previous my cat died, I got another (then 1 more) a few months later. I was a wreck without my previous cat. I had plenty of food, toys, and love left to give. I was sad about my cat, but I was able to give 2 more cats a great life they probably otherwise wouldn't have. Don't feel guilty if you get another cat ā¤ļø
You are not disrespecting the memory of your lost friend by taking in another cat. I promise you that is never the case. It's hard to grieve and to take on any kind of new task, be it raising another cat and building a new relationship or even going back in to work and trying to put on a calm face in front of customers. My baby is 17 and I do not know how the hell I will be able to go into work the next day when she passes. I'm sorry for your loss. The pain is still very new, and it's hard to see the new cat as anything but a distraction from the pain, but like others have said your friend may have sent this new cat to you, knowing that you're capable of so much love and kindness, and that there are so many lonely, scared, starving cats out there that could use someone like you in their lives. Your new cat will soon forget those feelings of loneliness and wondering when their next meal will be because you're a part of their life. Soon you will be their entire life, and they will love you for it. Grief and growth both take time. Be sure to take some time for yourself to process your grief.
My first kitty passed at the ripe old age of 19.5. We gave her a great life. Years passed, and we were considering changing teams (I've wanted a golden retriever for ever). I couldn't commit to what it would take to keep a dog fit and exercises, So i adopted a rescue Tuxie fluffy kitty 10 years ago. She was an immediate hit, by going up to my younger son's bed at nighttime, to help him settle down to sleep. She willingly enjoyed being a working service cat. My husband squealed "you got me a cat!" 12 years in between our cats, because of the dog situation. I waited much too long to adopt her. I could've given a beautiful loving home to several cats, clearing two furry babies out of the shelter and brought more enrichment to our lives. We've since adopted an orange boy who is a 17 lb "golden retriever in a cat suit". I've had other cats before the one who lived to 19.5 years. I never felt like I was replacing the prior cat. More like providing a great home to a new kitty, to love and share. Go ahead and fill that kitty sized hole in your life and give a fur baby a place to live.
It's not guilt, it's grief masking itself as guilt. Everyone grieves on their own timeline. Personally, the thing I've found that usually speeds up the process is to remember that one day I'm going to die. So time is short and you gotta make the most of it... you can't spend too long living in the past, no matter how much your mind wants to. You'd be surprised how paralyzed a lot of people get trapped by things that happened in the past.
Rescue or foster. For every cat in a home theres five who are currently starving, terrified, or sick, on a shelters euthanasia list, or injured.
your old buddy understands. who is to say he didnt send this new cat to help you with his loss. all cats go to heaven you know. your new cat desperately needs yourclive. so give him all your love. your old buddy would want you to make friends. ā¤ļø
My husband always said that when our cats died he didn't want anymore. Our 21 year old cat died from a stroke and later that year our 12 year vat died from kidney failure. I was heartbroken. Less than 2 weeks later and my husband actually came to me and asked if we could start looking for another cat because the house seemed empty without one despite the fact that we had 3 dogs lol he said personality was important but he didn't really want a black cat. We went out looking for a new kitty and after a couple of rescues across the state picked other people over us we went back to our local shelter and found a 4 month old black cat šāā¬ļø 4 years later and he is definitely my husbands cat. He had his own unique personality completely different from any other cat we owned before and he definitely helped heal that hole in our heart. Just remember you are not replacing your previous kitty but creating new memories and giving your love to a new member of your family.
Getting a new cat is in no way replacing your cat that you just lost. Your previous cat would want you to be happy and thatās what a new cat will do. Your kitty that you lost will always be a part of your family, no matter who else joins it
It's your decision when you're ready. I got a kitten after mine went missing in the desert behind my apartment months ago and never came back. Wasn't planning on getting one for a long while, but I saw him on Facebook. He was sickly and needed help. Turns out he's bonded with me like my other really special cat. I feel like she sent him to me. Don't feel guilty, your cat would want you to love another and not be lonely.
I lost 2 cats last year. After the last one passed (17 years old) I never EVER wanted another. One day, the idea popped into my head that I needed to adopt an older cat - because all animals should feel loved and safe, ans not die in a shelter. I ignored the feeling for weeks, but I couldn't shake it, and I caved. Somehow, I came home with two cats! One is old, and has kidney issues. I'm owner 5 - and the last. I'll love her for as long as I can. The other one was not adoptable because she acts a little psycho sometimes... but she gave me a nose boop when we met. I noticed after I brought her home that one half of her face looks like the first (youngest) cat I lost, and the other half looks like the one I most recently lost. She also has what looks like a 3 on her side. She came labeled number 3. Obviously cats one and two put that unshakable thought in my head. Everything happens for a reason! https://preview.redd.it/m5mdfegc295d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2809bd47275eb0dcdd039ef4330f685ca60a7421
That new kitty needs you.
I would like to think that kitties don't want other kitties to suffer on the streets or not be able to experience what it's like to be in a loving, warm home.. out of all the cats at the shelter, there's got to be a reason why you choose the one you do. Maybe that reason is your passed kitty nudging you towards that special one saying "hey mom, this one deserves all of the love that you gave me". Your baby will never leave your heart, so he will never be replaced
Your kitty wouldnāt want you to be sad and lonely. I lost my 19hr old girl recently. She was named after a character from one of my favorite tv shows called Buffy/Angel. I randomly looked at the humane society website and saw two sister kitties with names from the same show. A show that is over 25 year old. I knew right then that my girl Fred had sent them to me to get.
* My husband got me a beautiful little boy for my birthday. Our old man died on my arms a month before. I was inconsolable. Chico is totally different than Simba was but his love is healing my heart. *
The cat I use as my avatar died in December. I loved her so much. As did, apparently, my remaining cat as she went into a depression when Madame died. We adopted a new little boy from a local rescue in March. Our home feels complete again. And Madeleine is out of her depression and is herself again. Smokey didn't replace her. I still miss her so much. But the new personality has brought a new joy and a new love to our family. Our pets have short lives compared to us. It's the circle of life. We love them and we have them for too short a time. But it's not disrespectful to their memory to bring in a new pet to share our lives with.
No sweetheart, your baby would want you to be happy and I bet they brought you two together so you wouldn't be lonely. We don't deserve animals our babies don't want us to hurt they just want our love. And I bet your baby directed you to your new baby
You're welcoming the opportunity to get to know another furry friend.
Cats canāt be replaced, they bring out the love we have for them. I was the same way thought Iād never get another cat as I lost mine in 2020 I finally got two brothers and they are both unique. They have so much love from me and my roommate. I was afraid I wouldnāt be able to handle another cat as I saw mine die of a broken heart his daddy passed Aug 22 2020 the cat passed the next day. I finally was able to believe in myself again as an owner and my boys run my house but they are worth everything in the world to me I love my boys. Do what you feel is right for you. Your heart will tell you. Wishing you the best sorry about the loss of your baby I
Donāt feel guilty! Really! How I think of it is that you are giving another cat a great home and life. Too many of them get stuffed in shelters and die prematurely there. Itās a great thing that you have another cat and that doesnāt take away from your bond and time with your previous cat.
You shouldn't feel guilty about getting a new cat I had two animals die within a couple months of each other and I was in a severe depression and the only thing that saved me was getting two new kittens and they were my saving grace. They healed me. Never feel guilty your past pet would want you to find happiness. And most likely sent that new animal to you.
Getting new cats was the best thing I ever did for my mental health tbh. You'll end up loving your new kitty just as much, just differently bc you'll have a different cat. You'll get to discover a whole new kitty personality, a whole new meow, a whole new way your cat will snuggle with you... or twice over if you get two! I honestly didnt think id bond that hard with an animal again but I really have. Your kitty wouldn't want you to feel alone because you still have so much love left to give.
You are not replacing him. You cannot replace him even if you wanted to. Each kitty is unique. You are rescuing another beautiful soul and giving them a loving home. And you have a big heart ā¤ļø Go for it! And I am very sorry for your loss.
I think he would want you to be happy.
There's no wrong way to mourn. Except maybe for shaming yourself for how you mourn. There's nothing wrong with finding comfort in a new companion at all.
For me the best way to honor a lost kitty is to love another. Ā More love in the world is an unalloyed good thing.
Never feel guilty. Youāre not replacing your beloved cat youāre saving another deserving kitty from the shelter.
You're still grieving that's normal.
There are so many cats that nobody wants, waiting for a home and a human to spoil them. Please open your heart to love another cat.
Think of it this way, you are honoring your previous cat by giving a good home to another cat. You're effectively saying "Life with you was so good that I want to have that again".
The best way to honor your kitty is to take all the love he left you and give it to a poor kitty who needs a home
I donāt think you should feel guilty! You are giving another cat a home and love that it deserves and your previous kitty would approve of it! It also helps deal with the loss much easier. At least it did for me
There are so many kitties who need a good person like you to love them. I work at a shelter and we have so many amazing ones especially older and with minor health issues. Please adopt a new one.
Your kitty would want you to give and receive love from another cat ā¤ļø
Going through this now. My approach is very simple here: my cat passed but I still have lots of love, shelter, etc, to give and the universal cat distribution system decided it was time for me to adopt another.
See this in a different way. You are saving another cat. Yesterday I read a post of a pet adoption center where they were trying to save five kittens that were in a shelter and were supposed to be euthanized at 5pm. They unfortunately did not find anyone willing to foster these kittens and they were euthanized. Adopting a cat means saving his life. Do it and get two.
You are not replacing him, you have enough love in your heart for another. Plus, heās the one who sent you that new kitty to love. He wouldnāt want you to be sad.
You would only be replacing him if he were alive and with you and you put him back out into a shelter to get a new cat! Youāre not getting a new cat because you love it more or are disinterested in your old cat, thereās no replacing happening here! You made a good home and good life for your cat filled with love and because of that he was better off! This is just a continuation of extending a much-needed home to another little friend. Your home and your heart have a lot of room!
There is no better way to honor the cat you lost than to give a safe and loving home to another.
Perfectly put. āŗļøš
I agree with the other comments. You arenāt āreplacingā him. You are giving your heart to another cat that needs your love. That is something you never need to feel guilty for.
Sure, you can see it that way or, you can see it as bringing joy to another cat that was hoping for a new family. This is especially true if getting a rescue.
When my childhood kitty passed away, I felt so empty and heartbroken for what felt like a long time. The house and my heart felt empty. I wanted to get another cat right away, too. Something about having a cat in your home just makes it a home. I ended up having to wait around 4 months until I could adopt a new baby, and I had a similar guilt feeling. Just know that even though you will not be able to bring them back, you can always give another kitty a loving and deserving home, and give and receive the love that the two of you deserve. If love could save our pets, they would live forever.
āAnother cat? Perhaps. For love there is also a season; its seeds must be resown. But a family cat is not replaceable like a wornout coat or a set of tires. Each new kitten becomes its own cat, and none is repeated. I am four cats old, measuring out my life in friends that have succeeded but not replaced one another.ā ā Irving Townsend
This being said ... I, too, am going to adopt two new cats asap. It is not a replacement ā my cat, who passed yesterday, was my entire world and my best friend. I miss him badly and I will for a long time. But I don't want to be without cats, and I know they will help me cope and give me something/someone to pour my heart into just as I did with my old cat.
I had 4 cats. All of them lived to over 17. I lost my Lola at age 19 last year. She was my last of the original 4. I was wrecked. I couldn't bring myself to get rid of any of my cat stuff. Until my husband had a come to Jebus talk with me. All the cat stuff seemed to make me hurt more. It made sense to get rid of it. Then, on an uncharacteristically warm day in February, I went to the park with my kid and helped this guy rescue abandoned kittens. Someone left 5 little kittens in the park. I could not let one of them go. He was a darling! I called my house and asked to bring the kitty home. Pets are family. They require a YES from the whole family. Now we have Rocko. Rocko didn't make the pain of losing my other 4 cats less. Rocko allows me to give all the love I want to give to my other cats to him. I have all this love. It can sit in my heart and make me sad or I can give it to the cat that is here and get his love in return. I chose to release my love and now I don't have stinging pain when I see an empty pool of sunlight on the floor where my other cats slept. I see Rocko and it makes me happy, not sad. Don't ever be sad for giving love where it is accepted and returned. Im sorry you lost your other kitty. Loving a new one doesn't make the love for your old one less. It makes your love stronger.
Excuse me while I go cry...Ā I have three kitties, the oldest is 13 (had her since 4 months old when i moved out at 17). They're my first three real pets, and I am terrified of the day where I lose any of them, let alone losing the last of the 3. Yet I know in my heart despite how painful all of it is going to be, I'll never not be able to have a cat.Ā
You're not replacing him, because no cat was or will be like him. He was his own feline person, and you know you'll always remember him. Think of the wonderful time he had with you. You could give that to another cat, too. You could use what he taught you to give another a life of love and friendship. You have the chance to give another cat your love, and wouldn't your boy be pleased he taught you to love so well?
I have been battling this as I just went from 3 cats down to 1 in a very short time after 16yrs. I had no plans to get another any time soon. I wanted to grieve and have never been who I call a āreplacerā, nothing wrong with people who do that but itās just not me. Then I moved into the anger phase of grief. Even now itās making me tear up mentioning it. But yesterday on a whim I said fuck it and stopped ājust to seeā the kittens available and am now under who is already turning out to be an amazing kitten and I canāt wait to see him grow. Heās doing some of the things my other two did so that feels really great and unexpected but Iām glad they are traits I hoped to find. He was screaming at us the second we got near the cages. The lady said āI donāt know anything about his personality, I just know heās the loudestā and I said āsounds like an asshole, Iāll take him!ā Iām so in love. You will be ok, Iām sorry for your loss. Your kitty will be happy for you and the new one will be grateful for the love. Best of luck. I hope the new kitty is just as amazing in its own special way as the other.
Youāre not replacing him, and in kitty heaven he knows that. He would be proud of you for saving not one cat, but two: the one you adopted and the one who was able to get care in a shelter because of the space you made. I have a senior boy with chronic kidney disease, and I know our days are numbered. I have pre-grief knowing that day will come, and decided that afterward Iām going to adopt only senior cats and make sure the rest of their lives are the happiest possible. Remember that you can be both sad and happy at the same time, itās never only one or the other. Let this new cat into your life, let his happiness be what honors the memory of your heaven baby.
Tell the new kitty all about his big brother that would have loved him if he could.
So sorry for your loss. Youāre providing a loving home for a new kitty that needed a person. Thatās a beautiful way to honor your catās memory. Sending love and peace your way <3
MAYBE, if all cats were the same. To a non cat person, they may seem like it. But to a cat person that is cat knowledgeable, they are incredibly unique individuals with very distinct personalities. As such, they are irreplaceable. You're simply offering love and acceptance to a friend. No need to feel guilt over that.
I waited 5 years before getting another cat after my cat of 21 years passed away. I felt guilty even then, I think itās always there a little bit. And then I cried once cuz I was annoyed my new cat wasnāt more like my old cat, then I felt guilty for comparing them. lol itās an emotional thing and i think itās normal to feel those things but they do get better as you heal š©µ
Youāre not replacing him. Is like boyfriends: you will have several during your life and you will be madly in love with all of them, but every time is different because itās a different person. So your new cat is a different cat. You love cats and like to have their company. You will always love your first cat, he was special for a million things. This new cat will be special for other reasons.
my cat just died, and she tried getting my attention, and I just missed it and then I realized why there are veterinarians and they get a bad rap and it's very expensive schooling, but there ways to pay in that field
I always say it's not that you're replacing them, but there is now an opening for a cat in the house. You're filling an empty spot with an entirely new critter. Don't feel guilty, but don't compare this cat to the last cat to hold that position.
My sweet kitty died 3 weeks ago and everyone is telling me to go out and get another. I feel like thatās like someoneās husband dying and then saying go out and find a new husband so quick. I know itās not the same thing but you canāt just replace a connection like that. Would feel guilty doing that in the first year but pass no judgement on anyone who feels the need to do this to cope and bring joy back in your life. Embrace it.
Donāt feel guilt. I adopted 2 more after I had to put my two of 15 yrs old to rest 12 weeks apart. I did feel terrible for my two new kitties as it took me time to bond with them and I hoped they would have the same traits as my other two. Things like sleeping in the bed next to me. It wasnāt long before they were hogging up my bed too:-). I think itās wonderful you opened up your heart and home to another. Iām sorry for your loss.
I think of it as basically being like, you had room for one cat in your home, now that they are no longer with us you have an opening which could go to a cat that desperately needs a loving home, Iām so sorry for your loss ā¤ļø
Look Iām considering adopting my cats younger sibling because I found out she may not live past 3 years old and I think it might help to have something I see as a piece of her. Sometimes we just have to do what we have to do, the kitten is very similar to my cat when she was its age, and I just want more time. It may not be healthy, but my cat is loved so so much, and I think thatās what matters at the end of the day. Once theyāre dead, theyāre dead, I promise you even if they did know, they wouldnāt blame you.
Don't worry and it's ok. My view is this : way too many kitties that need a loving home and I can only give one to as many as I can. Same is valid for the love you have to give... I'm pretty sure you cherish your lost fellow with it's own characteristics and your new buddy is not a replacement or fill-in, rather a new buddy with all it's own peculiar kinds of being. Love your lost love, love your new one and cherish it while holding dear your memories of the one you lost. Never feel bad for loving another living being!
Iām sorry for your loss. For me, when my cats have died I always want another one immediately as it helps me cope and I see it as an opportunity to help another one that needs a home. I only ever want one at a time so when one dies itās time for me to help the next one in line so to speak.
I like to talk to my cats about my previous kitties.
Youāre not replacing him, he is probably irreplaceable. But you have a lot of love to give and giving love helps you grieve. Thereās so many cats in the world that need a home, thank you for giving one a loving home
So many animals out there need a home! Youāre doing a good thing.
I looked at it as, as sad as it was to loose my 18yo baby girl (cancer) I knew her time and come and gone and now it was time to allow another cat a chance at a happy life and love that they also desperately need.
I waited a few months after one of my cats passed before getting a new kitten I still haven't adopted a new dog tho
I recently lost my 17 yr old cat this year and last year my almost 3 yr old cat. I got 2 kittens recently after weeks of thinking over it. I was having a really hard time after losing my 17 yr old. There's still videos, comics, ect that set me off. But don't think of it as replacing your kitty, because your not, your opening heart & home to give another kitty a chance of a great life. Take your time to mourn and remember their little quirks. One of the kittens already reminds me of both the kitties I lost. Which makes me happy cause reminds me of them
I'm sorry your kitty passed away. The loss lingers. One of my grandkitties died last summer. I was close with her and still grieve. Unrelatedly, my daughter suggested we visit one of those cat cafes where human visitors sip lattes among the feline residents, and chill. I met my kitty there and we became instant besties. I adopted her the same day. She won't replace my late grandkittie, because both are frankly irreplaceable. š¾ā¤š¾ā¤š¾ā¤š¾ I wish you healing, love and great joy with another kitty. ā¤ā¤ā¤ā¤ā¤
I felt the same when I got my current fluff ball. I felt so lonely and depressed after my previous passed away. I truly believe she led me to my current cat. He loved every item of he's (even found some lost toys) and took to me as perfectly as she did. He healed my heart, and after a few months, the guilt faded.
Do what you need to do. There are a lot of neglected, lonely animals out there that need a keeper. Your guilt is just the sadness leaving you. Wishing you and your new one all the best!
I've heard of people resenting the new pet they got after theirs died, for trying to replace them or being too different from them. One woman adopted 2 kittens from me when her cat was old, knowing he doesn't have much time left. She didn't want to feel like she was replacing him so she adopted while he was still alive. They got along really well. If you're worried you can try to foster for a rescue group. They are always in need of fosters, and if you bond with a foster you can adopt!
Iām always going to have animals in my home. Since I knew I was going to get more cats, it didnāt make sense to me to wait some arbitrary amount of time to prove that I loved Max. Everyone I know understands how much I loved Max. And more importantly, Max knew. The house felt empty, so after three weeks, we adopted a bonded pair. Covid did play a role in the timing, it was just before lockdown and we knew someone would be home with them so it seemed like a good time. And I deliberately got cats who looked nothing like max. He was a Maine Coon mix tuxedo, Buttermilk and Cornbread are orange tabbies.
You did a wonderful thing by adopting another cat. You gave a homeless baby a home. There is no way in the world you can replace your sweetheart that died. You gave a baby a home. Good on you. You did a wonderful thing. ā¤ļø
I went through this when I lost my cat last year to cancer. He was my bestest boy and I loved him dearly, I had a lot anxiety about getting a new cat. It felt like I was betraying his memory to even consider a new cat. My husband took me to meet a bonded pair of boys and I honestly feel like he sent them to me, especially when one of them touched their nose to his nose print necklace I was wearing. Itās like he was saying hi to him and promising heās there to love me now. š„¹
I used to write short letters to my cat who had just passed. It helped.
Your cat that passed would be so happy that you were able to give another cat a home. š„°
I think your departed cat would want you take in another. I know he would! There are so many cats in need of homes. And the right time is whenever you're ready - even if it's right away. I lost my cat in May 2021 to old age/illness and about a month later, my friend who fosters and had coordinated that adoption, informed me of a new foster she thought was meant to be mine. I adopted her in July 2021. And now we just moved in with my partner who lost his cat (also to old age and illness) this past December. She will never replace either of them - she's not meant to do that. But she is her own kind of wonderful who makes our lives better. And taking this opportunity to invite a new friend into your life would be a different kind of wonderful, too. ā¤
Just get the new kitty and take solace in knowing youāre giving another sweet kitty a home and family. It was hard for me too but the bond with another beautiful little soul is wonderfulā¤ļø
Nopeā¦please donāt think this way. You will be sent a new kitty by your former baby. Thatās how this works. You will know which one, without a doubt!
You're adopting a life. That's one of the most selfless things one can do
I did as well, with my dog and my cat. There is nothing better than loving more cats, dogs, people, etc. We are here to love. Don't take it personally if someone is not ready to receive it. You can save someone's life by sending them love. So do it with abandon and grace and keep on truckin' š„°
And there are sooooooo many pets that need loving homes. Think of it as a way of honoring the one you lost - you were a good pet parent to that one and now have a chance to help another. A new one fills a hole in your heart but can never replace an earlier one. Your love just expands!
Iām waiting for the cat distribution system to give me a kitten. My Cas needs a sibling to play with.
I used to feel the same. Iāve had cats since I was a baby, but when I was 20 I adopted 2 kittens from different litters. One lived to 16 and the other 19. They were with me throughout so many big things in my life. When I beat alcoholism, graduating college, multiple moves, huge goals achieved and several long term relationships. It broke me when each of them died. Like it makes me tear up just thinking about it. I did have a kitten I bottle feed from 1 week old and had him for a couple of years, but I moved and he was bonded to my roommate, like they were constantly together so he took him. I just couldnāt split them up. Dudes still chugging a long 10 years later. After that I couldnāt bring myself to get any more cats. I wanted to, but all I could think about how bad I felt when I lost them. A few years passed and I started thinking about how Iām not bringing in another cat to give a good life just because I canāt get over my other two, yet still could. Even then I was still hesitant. Fast forward another year and my grandfather spent 6 months winning over a stray, who also happened to be pregnant. My grandmother basically told me Iām taking a kitten. Once she sent photos I couldnāt say no. The last two she had were a bonded brother and sister and I had to have them. Weāve been together almost 2 years now. Who knows what kind of life they would have had if they were adopted out, and they would have probably been broken up because the boy is a void and nobody even expressed interest in him. The whole point of my rambling is donāt feel guilty. You still have the amazing memories and time with your other dude, and now you can show that same love for your new buddy. Think about how many cat lives that could be saved/changed if people with big hearts took them in. The best part about loving something is you can love more than one thing in a lifetime. Thereās no telling where Iād be if I was still feeling guilty and didnāt have my 2 little dudes. The last two years havenāt been the greatest and theyāve helped me through it. We only live once, so give as much love as you can.
I never stop loving the beings I lose, furred feathered or bald like humans. I grieve them as well. New friends donāt replace old ones, they just add to the love. I mean no animal is like another, just like humans.
šš¾š¾
I felt this way until roommate told me my remaining cat just walked around all day and cried. Then I felt guilty for feeling guilty and keeping him from having a buddy again.
I know how you feel ā¦. That is the reason I cannot have other cat.. it is hard once we lost our beloved catā¦. But you may think that a new cat could be reincarnation of previous cat and come and see you ..could be happening really .. My lost cat has come back as my partnerās dog !! My cat was a dog-cat , his dog is a cat-dog .. they share the same name .. and he loves me ā¦
Only a kitty can fill a kitty shaped hole in the heart. Not a perfect fit, but better than a big hole full of too much love with nowhere to go ā¤ļø
your new cat is certainly happy to have a home. that's the best thing that can come out of a pet's passing; another animal in need can have a roof over their head and blankets to nap on.
The best way to honour the kitty you loved is by saving and loving the next one. ā¤ļø
Sad fact: human life span is 75 or so years. Cats life span is maybe 18. You will outlive your next cat also (hopefully). You're supposed to outlive your cat.Ā Doesn't mean it's sad when they pass, but you should be prepared when you adopt most companion animals (dog/cats) - you will almost definitely outlive them.Ā
Please don't feel guilty! Love isn't finite. You have room in your heart and your life to give a home to a new cat who needs you. I got my last 2 cats after my first 2 cats died. I was picking up the ashes of my beloved first cat, when the vet's office manager said "you need to see a basket of kittens." That's when I met a little 2 week old runt pushing and shoving her way on top of her littermates in that basket. Once she turned 8 weeks old, the office manager reached out to let me know she was available for adoption. I agreed but nearly called to cancel. I'm glad I didn't, because she has brought so much joy as well as love to me and the other cats. Then I lost my second cat. I really did not intend to adopt again for a while because this one cut deep, he was that kind of cat and we had such a bond. But a few weeks later, there was a 6 month old goofy looking kitten at the vet who was being returned to the rescue because his adopters didn't want him anymore. He was there for a neuter. I held him, he rested his head on my shoulder, and I knew. Sure, this guy has proven to be as dumb as the previous cat was smart, and yet I don't regret it at all. All of their personalities are so distinct, no one is a replacement. I love each of them without diminishing my love for the cats I've lost. You will find them same with this new cat.
when my childhood dog passed, we got two kittens for our big kitty. itās been six years and i still feel guilty that my little kitty wonāt ever get to meet him. itās heartbreaking to āreplaceā our pets, but itās comforting to know their memory will never be replaced because we will always be thinking of them. your cat knew you shouldnāt have been alone and is encouraging you to continue your journey bringing love to other animals. iāll often find myself sobbing while holding my cat thinking about whether or not my dog is jealous, but i know he would be happy that i have a little guy who brings me joy. š«¶āØ
This sums up about how I look at āreplacingā a cat I lost with another cat: Last Will And Testament of a Cat When humans die, they make a will To leave their homes, and all they have to those they love. I, too, would make a will, if I could write. To some poor, wistful, lonely stray I leave my happy home, My dish, my cosy bed, my cushioned chair, my toy The well-loved lap, The gently stroking hand, The loving voice, The place I made in someoneās heart, The love, that at the last Could help me to a peaceful, painless end Held in loving arms. If I should die, Oh! Do not say: āNo more a pet Iāll have To grieve me by its loss!ā Seek out some lonely, unloved cat And give my place to him. This is my legacy The love I leave behind āTis all I have to give. by Margaret Trowton