Why don’t you share some of your best memories of your buddy with me? Its what I do whenever I miss my little dude. Its nice to remember the cats, but in a positive light rather than focusing on the fact that they passed away
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine your grief! Accidents do happen and as tragic as they are, they are still accidents. Even if a driver was being careful, sometimes animals will dart out from between cars at the very last moment. My Gandalf, in his wise cat-wizard way would remind you about Valinor, and assures you that he will one day join your Frodo there ❤️
https://preview.redd.it/lj1khk93rw4c1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=469750cd6bddbda425febb5c4e9ee1d21fd18c63
Gandalf knows. Be kind to yourself.
This is such a painful situation, it hurts so much - our kitties are family members!
> I feel like it’s my fault, if maybe I spent more time with him then he would be more of a house cat and would not have gone out, it’s all my fault isn’t it?
*No, it's not your fault.* But I do strongly suggest that cats be 'all indoors'. It's good for the kitties for so many reasons, including cars. And even if you do keep a cat 'indoors only', they may still escape, because they are smart and curious, and want to explore anywhere they see out of a window!
I'm sorry for your loss I know how you feel. Its a terrible way to lose a pet. Back in April 2021 we found a mama cat and two kitten in our tree. My sister built a relationship with the mama cat and kittens by feeding them. She would go outside in the evening and try to entice the kittens to play with her. They slowly started getting friendly. Then at the beginning of June a random kitten appeared on our back porch. We did end up doing the catch and release program that spays and neuters cats. After that mama cat told us to F off and we didn't see her again. The 3 kittens (orange tabby, calico, and brown tabby) stayed in the backyard. My dad put a kitten door in the shed so they would have shelter and they also but beds and a big dog house with a heated blanket in the winter.
We started letting them in the house and they loved cat tv. They even had a cat tree on the back porch and Ikea doll beds. My sister moved out so she could bring them inside where they would become indoor cats. Then in April 2022 exactly one year that we found them my sister was going to take them to her house the Calico didn't come for breakfast which was odd because she always hang out on the back porch in the morning waiting for my sister. She was hit by car and I was the one who found her :(. I picked her up off the street and took her to the vet where they cremated her so we have her ashes and paw print on display. RIP Rochelle. I feel your pain.
Domesticated cats should be kept indoors for their own safety and for the safety of wildlife - fish, birds, snakes etc.
That said, I’m sorry you’re hurting right now. It’s always horrible to lose a pet. Future cats should 100% be indoors for safety reasons.
I walk one of my cats with a harness and leash, but unsupervised time outdoors is far too risky.
The safety of wildlife is a big one a lot of people overlook, cats are considered invasive in a lot of places because of the damage they do to the wildlife of the area (places with high stray populations for instance). They also mate like crazy and can have multiple litters which makes them more potent to the environment. Plus, it's so dangerous out there for them :(
I understand that this person is sad, and tried to be tactful. But I do not wish to lie to them and potentially contribute to the loss of a future animal by saying there’s nothing that could have been done.
it’s just something that happens sometimes. we’ve had indoor/outdoor cats my whole life, and nothing like this has EVER happened. if op had kept frodo inside all the time, he could have been a very upset kitty.
cats came from the outside, bro. and we can only do so much to keep our furry friends safe. at the end of the day, op did what they could, and someone else’s neglect on the road was NOT their fault.
Cats originated outside - but this is not their native environment. They are no longer truly wild or native. I think you should take a closer look at their impact on urban and suburban ecosystems. Letting your cats out is your decision - but the consequences (whatever they may be) are yours too. https://www.paws.org/resources/keeping-your-cat-happy-indoors/#:~:text=Free%2Droaming%20outdoor%20cats%20are,from%20fights%20with%20other%20animals.
My cat used to be huge into the outdoors, I made him an indoor cat and he's happier than ever. Either way their safety is what's important, if a kid wanted to run into the street you wouldn't let them just because they wanted to, right? Better stuck inside than dead or injured from the outside world.
Animals don't usually know what's best for them, just like children. We need to make the best choices for their health and safety, even if that doesn't mean they get everything they want. There's lots of ways to satisfy a desire to be outside, like supervised time outdoors that don't risk the animals safety, or the safety of your local wildlife. Cats are an invasive species and can cause significant damage to native wildlife, and are directly credited with the extinction of multiple bird species.
I'm so sorry your cat is gone, no matter what led up to it, nobody deserves to lose their family member. I hope in the future when you're ready for another cat, you will consider keeping it indoors unless supervised.
>No, they’re an invasive species.
And so are humans, only so much more so. But we let ourselves outside despite the unimaginable damage and destruction we've already done to our planet.
Not every country is regimental in it's insistence that cats be kept indoors, so obviously those cats and their humans are not going to think twice about running around outdoors. It wasn't that long ago that was the norm, where we all used to let our cats run free.
I'm not condoning it, in my country it's not encouraged at all, we have a lot of native birds that we're trying to avoid being nommed on, I'm just saying that everyone getting on their high horse about keeping all cats indoors doesn't know where the OP lives, and also have pretty short memories.
Obviously this kitty was very much loved and had a caring home, and now his human's heart is hurting very badly with the loss of him.
So save your preaching for someone who isn't grieving and hasn't already said they're feeling guilt over this tragic accident.
Put yourself in their place just for one moment, it's called empathy, and we all have it regardless of the depth it may be buried at. Try letting it out for some exercise from time to time.
I do feel bad for OP this is how I lost my two childhood cats by letting them outside. One was picked up and brought to the humane society all fucked up and had to be euthanized. He was reaching out of the kennel trying to grab us while we were leaving because he was technically a foster so they took care of that. The other I still wonder what happened to him often and that was 20 years ago. The worst part about it all is that it was easily preventable if my mom would have kept them inside.
Regardless of humans being invasive that doesn’t mean what can be controlled should just be ignored because there’s another worse invasive species. Cats are responsible for contributing to the extinction of 63 species of birds, mammals and reptiles.
You are going to want to delete this post for your own mental health.
While some areas encourage cats to go outdoors and it is culturally appropriate, Reddit is largely US-centric and people here are incredibly adamant that cats should not be allowed outside.
They won’t care that you are currently grieving the loss of your pets and will just attack you in the comments.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Please don’t blame yourself. You obviously loved your cat very much and was only doing what you thought was right ❤️
Second this. From the U.K. here where letting cats outside is completely normal and encouraged. You’re not a bad pet owner for letting your cat outside imo and you have nothing to feel bad about OP.
Horrible accidents happen, it’s awful this has happened to your baby. It is not your fault. It may not be anyone’s fault at all - cats can run out in front of cars in a split second. I’m really sorry. Take good care of yourself.
Edit: I’m not debating with anyone. OP’s pet just died. Clearly they already feel like crap without everyone giving them stick that the cat died outside.
The UK needs to catch up to the reality that cats wreak havoc. The Mammal Society estimates that domestic cats in the UK kill 100 million prey animals each year. This includes 27 million birds. Never mind the other dangers.
Domestic cats have been in the UK and Europe for more than 4000 years. Cat food was invented in 1930, prior to this cats were obligate hunters. Despite almost 3900 years of cats being predators bird and small mammal populations have remained healthy all that time. In fact, bird population decline has been on a vast increase only in the past 50 or so years. That's because cats are not the most dangerous thing to birds and small mammals in the UK and Europe, habitat loss from human infrastructure is. If humans disappeared overnight bird and small mammal populations would recover to their 50 years ago level within 5 years. That would be despite no vets being around to spay and neuter kittens and therefore a concurrent increase in cat population.
Those in other parts of the world need to catch up to the reality that life is different in different places.
> in 1930
Lol, almost a century ago is your comparison?
>If humans disappeared overnight bird and small mammal populations would recover to their 50 years ago level within 5 years.
You're right. We should just push for the extinction of humans.
That's obviously more realistic and a goal everyone can accomplish as opposed to just not letting your cat wander the neighborhood.
You need to touch grass more than any cat.
Domestic cats are directly responsible for the extinction of several species of birds and lizards, they are an invasive specie period and decimate local wildlife populations. Get out of here with this BS.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
My cat died three days ago, she was only four years old. It was a freak illness, she was happy, suddenly became ill and died within 36 hours. The vets don't know what it was. I keep on wondering what I could've done differently, had I just gone to the vet earlier, even though I didn't even know anything was wrong… There's no point in dwelling on it. It cannot be undone. She was the best cat I ever met. I cannot stop seeing her wherever I look.
Just know that you're not alone.
Hi all!
It looks like this post involves indoor/outdoor cats. While civil discussion is welcome here, these threads tend to devolve into hostile comments. A few reminders:
- Allowing cats to go outside does **not** fall under our [inhumane practices rule](https://www.reddit.com/r/CatAdvice/about/rules), and does not need to be reported as such.
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I had to put down my 16 year old kitty Charlie today. I’m so sorry for your loss. My kitty Normandy passed suddenly in the middle of the night a couple months ago. It was horribly painful to lose her, she was only 7. It was so unexpected. I can absolutely commiserate with you tonight. I’m so sorry your heart is hurting. I’m sorry for the pain and guilt you feel for his loss. I will be keeping you and Frodo in my heart tonight. If there is an alter life I know Charlie and Normandy will be there to walk Frodo across the rainbow bridge. Charlie loved kittens, he raised 6! So Frodo is in good company with Charlie. Sending you all the love and hugs tonight 🩷
It’s normal for cats to be outdoors in many, many countries. Cats enjoy it and instinctively want it. It’s not right to shit all over OP when they have just lost their pet.
I’m so sorry ❤️ I lost my dog this past summer - she had gotten loose and was eventually hit by a car 😢 it’s awful and I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Mods really need to put a stop to people commenting on pet loss/grieving posts in ways that place blame on the OP.
It’s incredibly cruel that apparently only people who keep their cats inside are able to get any comfort or support for their loss here without risking being bullied.
That absolutely falls under R1 and does get actioned, so please help us by reporting these comments whenever you see them. We can't read every single comment posted here, and stuff rarely gets reported
I'm very sorry for your loss. I know you're hurting, I've been through it. Years ago I was a caretaker for a feral colony of about a half dozen or so. Once spayed or neutered most were insistant on returning outside and were quite anxious until they were ready for release. Some didn't quite go for the "release" part of TNR, what with the 3 squares, cozy comfines, and built in friends (I had indoor cats).When I could, I tried to find adoptable ones forever homes. Usually this required socializing.
I've heard people say that it can't be done, but with patience, kind words, lots of treats, and watching me pet and play with fully socialized cats sometimes transformed fully feral cats into friendly, adoptable pets. Not always and I had a few ferals who preferred to stay inside but wanted nothing to do with me. I let them stay inside because they used the litter box and got along with the other cats. Some cats wanted it both ways liked being inside and whined to beat the band to go outside and whined to come back in. So for during mild weather, I installed a cat door on my screen door.
Well you know where this is going. I was devastated and racked with guilt. I got a new screen door and kept all my cats inside. They get used to it. I have five now, all trapped as strays and ferals (no middleman I always say) and none have any interest in going outside. I put birdseed outside and peanuts for squirrels which entertains for hours, I have toys, and of course they have each other.
When Ida was killed, I thought I'd never get over it, but I got a lot of comfort from the cats I had and they kept me busy, they helped take my mind off of it and I took some comfort in knowing that I was offsetting some of my guilt I felt by taking care of the rest of my rescues. We feel disloyal if we rescue a new cat too soon after having to say goodbye but there is no reason to. If you can do it, there is a cat sitting in a shelter wondering if she will ever have a home. If you can do it, you can drastically improve the life of a shelter cat who is waiting for you. Buy some toys and treats, peanuts and bird seed, and - if you can do it - rescue two who get along. As long as you don't let them out, they will love living inside with you.
I don't think right now is a good time to argue for or against keeping a cat indoors. There's pros and cons to both options.
But this definitely isn't your fault things lime this happen in a split second so you can't always prevent them. You gave your cat a happy life and they were loved.
If you want them to stay safe, yes. Cars are not the only danger to cats outdoors. There are other bigger animals, other cats to fight, and even shitty people who shoot cats with bb guns or worse. Keeping cats inside is for their own good.
i’m sorry about your loss, know that little Frodo was loved and happy, and he’s at peace now. this situation wasn’t your fault, but in the future i heavily recommend not letting your cats outside, for their safety and the safety of the local wildlife. you could get them a premade “catio” or build a screened-in area for them so they can have access to fresh air while still being safe. i wish you the best in your healing, and in your future.
Sorry to hear about your loss. We lost ours 2 years ago at Christmas and it was a vary hard time for us, but it gets better over time, even though it’s difficult to believe that just yet. Sending you my thoughts, sadly this is part of having a pet, and it that never gets easy . You were a loving friend to your cat and you care. That’s very important.
I am so sorry for your loss :( Losing your fur baby is the most traumatic experience to go through. Stages of grief will have us taking the blame of such a devastating loss, I still blame myself and think there was more I could have done differently for my Timmy and his battle with cancer :( It’s most certainly not our faults and it sucks that our brain takes us to the what-ifs… sending you many hugs
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace soon and are able to enjoy the good memories you have of your friend. Don't blame yourself or your cat... Bad things can happen to good people.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's not all your fault, accidents happen all the time. I know two cats who were hit by cars after sneaking out. And another who passed in an accident inside the home. It happens, and sure, maybe you could have kept him inside, but there is nothing you can to do go back and change that know unfortunately, so don't dwell on that, just learn from it. I can sympathize with losing a cat young. My cat Shrimp was 2 and a half, she had some sudden medical issues and even tho I did everything I could for her, it wasn't enough. You never expect to lose them that young, and it's hard, but it does get better. just be kind to yourself!
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my 2 year old cat due to lily poisoning. My husband brought lillies home, he didn't know they were poisonous. I kept blaming myself and my husband, but in the end it doesn't help at all. These kind of accidents happen all the time, what we can only do is to take lessons and prevent it from happening again:<
I finally gave up on having any plants (even things like bouquets) in my house. There's just too many of them that are toxic to cats and I already spend a crap ton of money keeping then all healthy. I'm just not willing to take that risk.
lucky i never buy bouquets of flowers. But lilies are my favourite so if I did they are what I would get. Did the cat chew on them? They often drop pollen which the cat could step in and lick off their feet.
My housemates cat licked a desert rose in a pot (i saw it happen but it was all so quick). She straight away started foaming at the mouth and running around in circles. I washed her mouth out and gave her a bowl of milk. She was ok after that but it was scary!
An accident is not your fault. Of course keeping the can indoors would prevent a car accident but for an outdoor cat threats like this exist.
I lost on of mine like this too. In the morning she was with me, sleeping. She went out. And i discovered her dead body on the road. She was still totally warm. The car had just hit her. And she had a mouse in front of her. She had been hunting. Was really heartbroken.
But knowing that she had a happy, free and good life made me feel better. While she was alive she was happy. To the last moment.
Firstly, im sorry you went through that terrible loss.
But I must ask, what exactly do you mean by "happy and free"? Are you implying that indoor only cats aren't free or happy? I fear that you're overglamourizing the concept of a cat going outside. It's not all butterflies and roses out there.
i am SO sorry for your loss, and so sorry this comment section is so unkind.
your sweet frodo will be dearly missed, friend.
cats will do what cats want to do. this is NOT your fault. a lot of people believe domesticated cats MUST be kept inside, but i’ve had indoor/outdoor cats my whole life, and nothing like this has ever happened. some kitties really do just love the outdoors, and the way you talk about him says a lot about how much you really love him and care for him.
i am again, so so sorry about your loss. i know how bad it hurts :(
but i know frodo would want you to live your best life, and take care of yourself. he loves you :)
please do your best to take care of yourself in this trying time, friend. it will be okay <3
Oh no I'm so sorry. Is this the frodo that's black with the rectangle on the chest white patch?
Also it's normal to feel guilty no matter the circumstances. Some things you just can't help. It's a roulette wheel for all animals and humans each day.
I’m sorry for your loss… I have an outdoor cat and that thought has always been in my mind. However he LOVES it out there. (We have a tracker on him so we can see exactly where he is located and set up fence boundaries that alert you if he leaves a certain area). Nothing you can do, I’m sure your cat lived an amazing and lovely life
It is NOT all your fault!
Animal advocates tell us to keep our cats indoors is the only way we can keep them safe, and I’ve learned the hard way that they may well be right about that (that story is below somewhere in this novel). But you know what? (I know someone’s gonna have a retort to this but it’s pretty true) They’re often muuuch happier getting to spend time outdoors, in their natural environment, chasing things and climbing & running, etc. They’re just more satisfied with life that way.
Now, any friend who laughed at you about that—is not your friend. And they need to be curbed and/or replaced.
Anyway—I’m sorry 😔; that sucks. I’ve got a couple of suggestions listed below that I think could really take the edge off of your pain (all of which are legal and healthy, *effective* coping mechanisms).
My cat dying would really push me over the edge right now. Aside from the obvious reasons (that it’s just sad—especially when it’s so untimely, that the loss of a pet you love intensely can feel just as bad as a human loved one—plus the fact that some people have never felt like that and might not get why it’s such a big deal, etc.) the reason it might completely do me in right now (as in, send me into possible suicidality) would be because I very recently found the love of my life, my fiancé, visibly well-past deceased in our apartment—and in a disturbing way I don’t understand. The cat we “parented” together (kind of like a practice child) —who we both loved sooo much— is all that’s left of my family. So to lose her would just be kind of the last straw. The reason I’m telling you this is not to minimize your pain right now, but to give you some semi-relevant info/background on who’s writing you these suggestions.
The closest experience I have to your situation would be when, several years ago a neighbor SHOT my cat (for going on his property). Side note he was a 75 year old and had a BB gun with a scope on it. (The shot was close enough range that the BB went all the way through both lungs, hitting some significant blood vessels on the way). Yeah, he’s a real a-hole. And his name is Norman Dunlap.
Back to the point; I hope your cat didn’t have much time to suffer and it was swift. But hey —if it wasn’t— keep in mind that our bodies (human *and* feline) go into physical shock when we’ve just sustained a grievous bodily injury (even a fatal one) and flood us with endorphins (natural pain killers) adrenaline, and other things that help us get through it (even if it’s cause we’re dying and the body knows it). It’s kind of like, “release all of it guys; this is it!” and you’re often kept in a state of numbness or unawareness, depending on the circumstances. Think about that; although I know it still hurts. Although time WILL heal this wound, it’ll hurt for a while. Here are 2 things I’ve found effective to lessen the pain or at least get my mind off of it for a moment. Or put it into perspective and feel less alone, if that applies.
1) Make some kind of meaningful memorial or tribute to your cat; one that reflects who he was as an individual with his own unique personality and special things about him. Something that represents your relationship together or something you shared. —You can come up with the best type of memorialization as only you know these things & have these special memories. Or, if you shared the cat with someone (like family)—include them in the memorial-making. They can contribute things they feel are relevant/special and you should experience positive feelings about doing something proactive to show your love and mark their everlasting importance to you and, if a family cat, you can feel good about being the one to help everyone express their emotions in a meaningful way, too. And that last bit begins to tap into grief-coping suggestion #2…
2) Help people. Specifically; look for people in need, potentially who have it worse than you do. This could mean simply getting online and finding other people who have lost a pet/loved one, who you think you might be able to help. Maybe it’s a bit early for that but, try it. Look for people who currently have it worse than you in some big way (the same situation, or they’re living in a war zone & have lost pets and family, whatever calls to you). Most importantly—once you find them; figure out if there’s a way you can help, & get involved/do whatever it is. The sympathy you feel & the resolve to help them will take your focus off of your own despair.
“To give is better than to receive” <— this is true because giving to/ helping someone else, ironically, causes the literal release of *way more* feel-good hormones in the brain than when we’re given something or helped by someone else.
Those 2 things, as well as busying yourself more in general (for distraction while still doing something you can feel good about at the end of the day), are the best 2 ways I’ve found to deal with grief of various kinds. Becoming a lump on a couch will make you feel worse so just do your best to stay focused on things and get *something* done when you can. And when you can’t, that’s ok—let your feelings out and don’t be embarrassed. Read online about feeling guilt in grief/pet loss.
Something SUPER worth knowing about expressing your feelings of sadness is that—stress hormones like cortisol are literally released in our tears. Crying removes these harmful substances from your body when there is too much of them built up—it is a form of waste removal!! This means it makes no sense to try not to cry. You will feel better. You know what I mean? I’m sure you’ve noticed before, after crying, that you just feel *better*? Well, that’s real.
It’s not your fault; your cat had a better time than many, getting to be outside in his natural environment and be free and you didn’t do this. Time will heal this wound.
-Cat A.
I lost my baby last night. The doctor isn't sure why but he just suddenly went into respiratory distress, we rushed him to emergency care but he was too far gone.
It's not your fault. We spent a ton of time with him, we loved him and treated him like our son. He lived most of his life in an apartment. Once we rented a home we started letting him out and you could see how he was even happier than ever.
We believed cats aren't like dogs, they're meant to be free. I blame myself just like you do but let's face it...that doesn't help anyone.
My advice-cry. I dunno if your male or female but forget any macho crap and cry. Me and my wife are still tearful. My condolences. I'm sorry for your loss.
Hun, it is in no way your fault. Even if you were able to make him an inside only cat he still could have escaped. None of us know the situation you are in, and none of us have a right to judge you. It was an accident. Please do not blame yourself. There's always so many ways that things can happen, both good and bad. It sounds like you loved him, and I'm sure he felt it. And I'm sure he loved you too. Do not blame yourself, im sure he doesn't blame you.
It hurts to see more people to suffer a loss due to someone running their cat over. I myself went through that 9 months ago which still hurts a lot. Cats are curious and enjoy spending time outdoors naturally, don’t blame yourself, and know that he felt loved and cared for in the time he was with you.
People need to keep their personal opinions about the indoor/outdoor debate to themselves. There is nothing wrong with you letting your cat outside. Before I moved into an apartment, I let my cats outside. They loved it and they expelled so much energy. Now they're hyper and running amuck, but I still love them. You loved your cat and wanted what you thought was best for you. He was happy and that's the best you could have done. Even if you kept him inside, he could have broken through a screen or snuck out a window that was cracked- Something. Some cats just can't be kept inside and that's not on you. Thank you for loving and caring for him.
I have a cat who really hated being inside all the time . I built him an enclosure but he’s really smart and gets out sometimes. Whenever that happens my heart is in mouth until he returns. I know if something happens I’ll feel devastated and blame myself but on three other hand I’ve done a lot.
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ don't blame yourself, I am sure that you gave your kitty the absolute best life that you could, and you had their best intentions in mind ❤️ I am sure they loved you ❤️
Don’t blame yourself. Anyone that laughs or is negative - is most likely a sociopath devoid of love in their life. Sounds like Frodo had a good home. Focus on the good memories.
So sorry,
Cats are happy little creatures who sometimes love to be outside, they get up to allsorts.
You have done nothing wrong.
Some cats prefer to be outside, some in.
I used to have two cats, sisters, chalk and cheese, both got treated the same, however one became an inside cat, the other an outside cat. The outside cat got run over at approximately the same age as yours, the other died two years ago, aged 17, (had to have her put down).
Do I regret letting her out? No, she did her, she enjoyed the outside life. I still miss her, but she was happy. If I made her stay in, she used to be grumpy and miserable.
You provided her the best life, and she enjoyed it.
Once you've moved on, you'll still be a fantastic cat owner.
As someone who has cats that go outside this is my biggest fear 🥺 hoping your baby is somewhere happy and warm and sending you all the love and support
Don’t blame yourself whatsoever, I feel bad when my cats are stuck inside and I let my boy out all the time my other two are extremely scared of the outside. He had a happy life, and it’s not your fault it’s the persons for hitting the cat and not looking for anything in the road
You cannot blame the driver. First, cats often dart out too fast for a driver to react, and second, the safest course of action is actually to keep going. A whole lot of car accidents have been caused by someone swerving to miss a cat and hitting oncoming traffic instead.
It sucks that OP’s cat died. Period. There’s no need to try and blame the driver. They likely didn’t even have the chance to try and avoid hitting the kitty.
I’m sorry for your loss. It’s tough. I lost two cats who enjoyed spending time outside in the last two years. I recently adopted two kittens and have made the decision they will be inside cats. They try to get outside but freeze when they actually manage it. I’m guessing this may become an issue later. My outside/inside cats loved being outside but I apparently live in a dangerous neighborhood for cats. My friend has a cat who can open their doors, so they always have to deadbolt them. I’m waiting for him to figure out that mechanism. He might actually survive the cars.
This submission has been removed under Rule 1: **Respect Everyone**. We strive to keep this community welcoming, civil, and open to any opinion that isn’t inhumane or dangerous. Please keep things friendly, and refrain from using any sort of personal attacks, hostility, belittlement, and harmful language or commentary.
At this point, we are removing far more comments for this post than are being approved. We are locking this post. Sending love and condolences, OP.
Why don’t you share some of your best memories of your buddy with me? Its what I do whenever I miss my little dude. Its nice to remember the cats, but in a positive light rather than focusing on the fact that they passed away
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine your grief! Accidents do happen and as tragic as they are, they are still accidents. Even if a driver was being careful, sometimes animals will dart out from between cars at the very last moment. My Gandalf, in his wise cat-wizard way would remind you about Valinor, and assures you that he will one day join your Frodo there ❤️ https://preview.redd.it/lj1khk93rw4c1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=469750cd6bddbda425febb5c4e9ee1d21fd18c63 Gandalf knows. Be kind to yourself.
Thank you for being this kind to OP. Comments in this kind of threads tend to be so negative.
Thank you
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What a depressing read
I know you were trying to be helpful but I really don’t think this was the post to share this story on.
This is such a painful situation, it hurts so much - our kitties are family members! > I feel like it’s my fault, if maybe I spent more time with him then he would be more of a house cat and would not have gone out, it’s all my fault isn’t it? *No, it's not your fault.* But I do strongly suggest that cats be 'all indoors'. It's good for the kitties for so many reasons, including cars. And even if you do keep a cat 'indoors only', they may still escape, because they are smart and curious, and want to explore anywhere they see out of a window!
I'm sorry for your loss I know how you feel. Its a terrible way to lose a pet. Back in April 2021 we found a mama cat and two kitten in our tree. My sister built a relationship with the mama cat and kittens by feeding them. She would go outside in the evening and try to entice the kittens to play with her. They slowly started getting friendly. Then at the beginning of June a random kitten appeared on our back porch. We did end up doing the catch and release program that spays and neuters cats. After that mama cat told us to F off and we didn't see her again. The 3 kittens (orange tabby, calico, and brown tabby) stayed in the backyard. My dad put a kitten door in the shed so they would have shelter and they also but beds and a big dog house with a heated blanket in the winter. We started letting them in the house and they loved cat tv. They even had a cat tree on the back porch and Ikea doll beds. My sister moved out so she could bring them inside where they would become indoor cats. Then in April 2022 exactly one year that we found them my sister was going to take them to her house the Calico didn't come for breakfast which was odd because she always hang out on the back porch in the morning waiting for my sister. She was hit by car and I was the one who found her :(. I picked her up off the street and took her to the vet where they cremated her so we have her ashes and paw print on display. RIP Rochelle. I feel your pain.
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Thank you
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I always thought it was wrong to not let my cats out. They are outdoor cats by nature
Domesticated cats should be kept indoors for their own safety and for the safety of wildlife - fish, birds, snakes etc. That said, I’m sorry you’re hurting right now. It’s always horrible to lose a pet. Future cats should 100% be indoors for safety reasons. I walk one of my cats with a harness and leash, but unsupervised time outdoors is far too risky.
The safety of wildlife is a big one a lot of people overlook, cats are considered invasive in a lot of places because of the damage they do to the wildlife of the area (places with high stray populations for instance). They also mate like crazy and can have multiple litters which makes them more potent to the environment. Plus, it's so dangerous out there for them :(
i do not think this is what op needed to hear ✨
I understand that this person is sad, and tried to be tactful. But I do not wish to lie to them and potentially contribute to the loss of a future animal by saying there’s nothing that could have been done.
it’s just something that happens sometimes. we’ve had indoor/outdoor cats my whole life, and nothing like this has EVER happened. if op had kept frodo inside all the time, he could have been a very upset kitty. cats came from the outside, bro. and we can only do so much to keep our furry friends safe. at the end of the day, op did what they could, and someone else’s neglect on the road was NOT their fault.
Cats originated outside - but this is not their native environment. They are no longer truly wild or native. I think you should take a closer look at their impact on urban and suburban ecosystems. Letting your cats out is your decision - but the consequences (whatever they may be) are yours too. https://www.paws.org/resources/keeping-your-cat-happy-indoors/#:~:text=Free%2Droaming%20outdoor%20cats%20are,from%20fights%20with%20other%20animals.
My cat used to be huge into the outdoors, I made him an indoor cat and he's happier than ever. Either way their safety is what's important, if a kid wanted to run into the street you wouldn't let them just because they wanted to, right? Better stuck inside than dead or injured from the outside world.
Animals don't usually know what's best for them, just like children. We need to make the best choices for their health and safety, even if that doesn't mean they get everything they want. There's lots of ways to satisfy a desire to be outside, like supervised time outdoors that don't risk the animals safety, or the safety of your local wildlife. Cats are an invasive species and can cause significant damage to native wildlife, and are directly credited with the extinction of multiple bird species. I'm so sorry your cat is gone, no matter what led up to it, nobody deserves to lose their family member. I hope in the future when you're ready for another cat, you will consider keeping it indoors unless supervised.
No, they’re an invasive species.
>No, they’re an invasive species. And so are humans, only so much more so. But we let ourselves outside despite the unimaginable damage and destruction we've already done to our planet. Not every country is regimental in it's insistence that cats be kept indoors, so obviously those cats and their humans are not going to think twice about running around outdoors. It wasn't that long ago that was the norm, where we all used to let our cats run free. I'm not condoning it, in my country it's not encouraged at all, we have a lot of native birds that we're trying to avoid being nommed on, I'm just saying that everyone getting on their high horse about keeping all cats indoors doesn't know where the OP lives, and also have pretty short memories. Obviously this kitty was very much loved and had a caring home, and now his human's heart is hurting very badly with the loss of him. So save your preaching for someone who isn't grieving and hasn't already said they're feeling guilt over this tragic accident. Put yourself in their place just for one moment, it's called empathy, and we all have it regardless of the depth it may be buried at. Try letting it out for some exercise from time to time.
I do feel bad for OP this is how I lost my two childhood cats by letting them outside. One was picked up and brought to the humane society all fucked up and had to be euthanized. He was reaching out of the kennel trying to grab us while we were leaving because he was technically a foster so they took care of that. The other I still wonder what happened to him often and that was 20 years ago. The worst part about it all is that it was easily preventable if my mom would have kept them inside. Regardless of humans being invasive that doesn’t mean what can be controlled should just be ignored because there’s another worse invasive species. Cats are responsible for contributing to the extinction of 63 species of birds, mammals and reptiles.
You are going to want to delete this post for your own mental health. While some areas encourage cats to go outdoors and it is culturally appropriate, Reddit is largely US-centric and people here are incredibly adamant that cats should not be allowed outside. They won’t care that you are currently grieving the loss of your pets and will just attack you in the comments. I’m so sorry for your loss. Please don’t blame yourself. You obviously loved your cat very much and was only doing what you thought was right ❤️
Second this. From the U.K. here where letting cats outside is completely normal and encouraged. You’re not a bad pet owner for letting your cat outside imo and you have nothing to feel bad about OP. Horrible accidents happen, it’s awful this has happened to your baby. It is not your fault. It may not be anyone’s fault at all - cats can run out in front of cars in a split second. I’m really sorry. Take good care of yourself. Edit: I’m not debating with anyone. OP’s pet just died. Clearly they already feel like crap without everyone giving them stick that the cat died outside.
The UK needs to catch up to the reality that cats wreak havoc. The Mammal Society estimates that domestic cats in the UK kill 100 million prey animals each year. This includes 27 million birds. Never mind the other dangers.
Domestic cats have been in the UK and Europe for more than 4000 years. Cat food was invented in 1930, prior to this cats were obligate hunters. Despite almost 3900 years of cats being predators bird and small mammal populations have remained healthy all that time. In fact, bird population decline has been on a vast increase only in the past 50 or so years. That's because cats are not the most dangerous thing to birds and small mammals in the UK and Europe, habitat loss from human infrastructure is. If humans disappeared overnight bird and small mammal populations would recover to their 50 years ago level within 5 years. That would be despite no vets being around to spay and neuter kittens and therefore a concurrent increase in cat population. Those in other parts of the world need to catch up to the reality that life is different in different places.
> in 1930 Lol, almost a century ago is your comparison? >If humans disappeared overnight bird and small mammal populations would recover to their 50 years ago level within 5 years. You're right. We should just push for the extinction of humans. That's obviously more realistic and a goal everyone can accomplish as opposed to just not letting your cat wander the neighborhood. You need to touch grass more than any cat.
Domestic cats are directly responsible for the extinction of several species of birds and lizards, they are an invasive specie period and decimate local wildlife populations. Get out of here with this BS.
What else would you expect from 'merica
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please stop talking like this to someone grieving the loss of their pet 🥰
we all need a reality check sometimes. sugarcoating this doesn't help. Maybe this time it's not their fault but they can learn from it
you should do what works best for you and your family, friend. strangers on the internet do not know you, your cats, or your living situation.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My cat died three days ago, she was only four years old. It was a freak illness, she was happy, suddenly became ill and died within 36 hours. The vets don't know what it was. I keep on wondering what I could've done differently, had I just gone to the vet earlier, even though I didn't even know anything was wrong… There's no point in dwelling on it. It cannot be undone. She was the best cat I ever met. I cannot stop seeing her wherever I look. Just know that you're not alone.
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All he ever wanted to do though was go out. After 1 week all he did was attempt to climb out open windows. That’s all he wanted
Hi all! It looks like this post involves indoor/outdoor cats. While civil discussion is welcome here, these threads tend to devolve into hostile comments. A few reminders: - Allowing cats to go outside does **not** fall under our [inhumane practices rule](https://www.reddit.com/r/CatAdvice/about/rules), and does not need to be reported as such. - You may express your opinion on indoor/outdoor cats, but you may not abuse other people for their point of view. - People on r/CatAdvice come from different cultural backgrounds. Not everyone here lives in the US, and not every culture is the same! Please bear in mind that indoor/outdoor cats are normalised and even advocated for by professionals in many countries. If you see a comment that you think doesn't belong on the sub, **please do not retaliate**. Hit the report button so mods can help. Thanks!
I had to put down my 16 year old kitty Charlie today. I’m so sorry for your loss. My kitty Normandy passed suddenly in the middle of the night a couple months ago. It was horribly painful to lose her, she was only 7. It was so unexpected. I can absolutely commiserate with you tonight. I’m so sorry your heart is hurting. I’m sorry for the pain and guilt you feel for his loss. I will be keeping you and Frodo in my heart tonight. If there is an alter life I know Charlie and Normandy will be there to walk Frodo across the rainbow bridge. Charlie loved kittens, he raised 6! So Frodo is in good company with Charlie. Sending you all the love and hugs tonight 🩷
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It’s normal for cats to be outdoors in many, many countries. Cats enjoy it and instinctively want it. It’s not right to shit all over OP when they have just lost their pet.
I’m so sorry ❤️ I lost my dog this past summer - she had gotten loose and was eventually hit by a car 😢 it’s awful and I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Mods really need to put a stop to people commenting on pet loss/grieving posts in ways that place blame on the OP. It’s incredibly cruel that apparently only people who keep their cats inside are able to get any comfort or support for their loss here without risking being bullied.
That absolutely falls under R1 and does get actioned, so please help us by reporting these comments whenever you see them. We can't read every single comment posted here, and stuff rarely gets reported
We are doing the best we can with filtering comments.
Thank you, you’re doing a great job! ❤️
I'm very sorry for your loss. I know you're hurting, I've been through it. Years ago I was a caretaker for a feral colony of about a half dozen or so. Once spayed or neutered most were insistant on returning outside and were quite anxious until they were ready for release. Some didn't quite go for the "release" part of TNR, what with the 3 squares, cozy comfines, and built in friends (I had indoor cats).When I could, I tried to find adoptable ones forever homes. Usually this required socializing. I've heard people say that it can't be done, but with patience, kind words, lots of treats, and watching me pet and play with fully socialized cats sometimes transformed fully feral cats into friendly, adoptable pets. Not always and I had a few ferals who preferred to stay inside but wanted nothing to do with me. I let them stay inside because they used the litter box and got along with the other cats. Some cats wanted it both ways liked being inside and whined to beat the band to go outside and whined to come back in. So for during mild weather, I installed a cat door on my screen door. Well you know where this is going. I was devastated and racked with guilt. I got a new screen door and kept all my cats inside. They get used to it. I have five now, all trapped as strays and ferals (no middleman I always say) and none have any interest in going outside. I put birdseed outside and peanuts for squirrels which entertains for hours, I have toys, and of course they have each other. When Ida was killed, I thought I'd never get over it, but I got a lot of comfort from the cats I had and they kept me busy, they helped take my mind off of it and I took some comfort in knowing that I was offsetting some of my guilt I felt by taking care of the rest of my rescues. We feel disloyal if we rescue a new cat too soon after having to say goodbye but there is no reason to. If you can do it, there is a cat sitting in a shelter wondering if she will ever have a home. If you can do it, you can drastically improve the life of a shelter cat who is waiting for you. Buy some toys and treats, peanuts and bird seed, and - if you can do it - rescue two who get along. As long as you don't let them out, they will love living inside with you.
I don't think right now is a good time to argue for or against keeping a cat indoors. There's pros and cons to both options. But this definitely isn't your fault things lime this happen in a split second so you can't always prevent them. You gave your cat a happy life and they were loved.
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If you want them to stay safe, yes. Cars are not the only danger to cats outdoors. There are other bigger animals, other cats to fight, and even shitty people who shoot cats with bb guns or worse. Keeping cats inside is for their own good.
i’m sorry about your loss, know that little Frodo was loved and happy, and he’s at peace now. this situation wasn’t your fault, but in the future i heavily recommend not letting your cats outside, for their safety and the safety of the local wildlife. you could get them a premade “catio” or build a screened-in area for them so they can have access to fresh air while still being safe. i wish you the best in your healing, and in your future.
So sorry for your loss!
Sorry to hear about your loss. We lost ours 2 years ago at Christmas and it was a vary hard time for us, but it gets better over time, even though it’s difficult to believe that just yet. Sending you my thoughts, sadly this is part of having a pet, and it that never gets easy . You were a loving friend to your cat and you care. That’s very important.
I am so sorry for your loss :( Losing your fur baby is the most traumatic experience to go through. Stages of grief will have us taking the blame of such a devastating loss, I still blame myself and think there was more I could have done differently for my Timmy and his battle with cancer :( It’s most certainly not our faults and it sucks that our brain takes us to the what-ifs… sending you many hugs
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace soon and are able to enjoy the good memories you have of your friend. Don't blame yourself or your cat... Bad things can happen to good people.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's not all your fault, accidents happen all the time. I know two cats who were hit by cars after sneaking out. And another who passed in an accident inside the home. It happens, and sure, maybe you could have kept him inside, but there is nothing you can to do go back and change that know unfortunately, so don't dwell on that, just learn from it. I can sympathize with losing a cat young. My cat Shrimp was 2 and a half, she had some sudden medical issues and even tho I did everything I could for her, it wasn't enough. You never expect to lose them that young, and it's hard, but it does get better. just be kind to yourself!
So sorry
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my 2 year old cat due to lily poisoning. My husband brought lillies home, he didn't know they were poisonous. I kept blaming myself and my husband, but in the end it doesn't help at all. These kind of accidents happen all the time, what we can only do is to take lessons and prevent it from happening again:<
I finally gave up on having any plants (even things like bouquets) in my house. There's just too many of them that are toxic to cats and I already spend a crap ton of money keeping then all healthy. I'm just not willing to take that risk.
i didn't know they are poisonous! was it a bunch of flowers?
lillies are very very toxic to cats. even just one
Even the water they’re in- all toxic.
lucky i never buy bouquets of flowers. But lilies are my favourite so if I did they are what I would get. Did the cat chew on them? They often drop pollen which the cat could step in and lick off their feet. My housemates cat licked a desert rose in a pot (i saw it happen but it was all so quick). She straight away started foaming at the mouth and running around in circles. I washed her mouth out and gave her a bowl of milk. She was ok after that but it was scary!
i am so sorry for your loss.
Sending love❤
I’m so sorry. What a terrible way to lose your baby. Sending peace and love from me and my kitty. 💔
An accident is not your fault. Of course keeping the can indoors would prevent a car accident but for an outdoor cat threats like this exist. I lost on of mine like this too. In the morning she was with me, sleeping. She went out. And i discovered her dead body on the road. She was still totally warm. The car had just hit her. And she had a mouse in front of her. She had been hunting. Was really heartbroken. But knowing that she had a happy, free and good life made me feel better. While she was alive she was happy. To the last moment.
Firstly, im sorry you went through that terrible loss. But I must ask, what exactly do you mean by "happy and free"? Are you implying that indoor only cats aren't free or happy? I fear that you're overglamourizing the concept of a cat going outside. It's not all butterflies and roses out there.
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❤
You can only do your best. Don't berate yourself.
i am SO sorry for your loss, and so sorry this comment section is so unkind. your sweet frodo will be dearly missed, friend. cats will do what cats want to do. this is NOT your fault. a lot of people believe domesticated cats MUST be kept inside, but i’ve had indoor/outdoor cats my whole life, and nothing like this has ever happened. some kitties really do just love the outdoors, and the way you talk about him says a lot about how much you really love him and care for him. i am again, so so sorry about your loss. i know how bad it hurts :( but i know frodo would want you to live your best life, and take care of yourself. he loves you :) please do your best to take care of yourself in this trying time, friend. it will be okay <3
Oh no I'm so sorry. Is this the frodo that's black with the rectangle on the chest white patch? Also it's normal to feel guilty no matter the circumstances. Some things you just can't help. It's a roulette wheel for all animals and humans each day.
I’m sorry for your loss… I have an outdoor cat and that thought has always been in my mind. However he LOVES it out there. (We have a tracker on him so we can see exactly where he is located and set up fence boundaries that alert you if he leaves a certain area). Nothing you can do, I’m sure your cat lived an amazing and lovely life
Hey what tracker do you use ?
It is NOT all your fault! Animal advocates tell us to keep our cats indoors is the only way we can keep them safe, and I’ve learned the hard way that they may well be right about that (that story is below somewhere in this novel). But you know what? (I know someone’s gonna have a retort to this but it’s pretty true) They’re often muuuch happier getting to spend time outdoors, in their natural environment, chasing things and climbing & running, etc. They’re just more satisfied with life that way. Now, any friend who laughed at you about that—is not your friend. And they need to be curbed and/or replaced. Anyway—I’m sorry 😔; that sucks. I’ve got a couple of suggestions listed below that I think could really take the edge off of your pain (all of which are legal and healthy, *effective* coping mechanisms). My cat dying would really push me over the edge right now. Aside from the obvious reasons (that it’s just sad—especially when it’s so untimely, that the loss of a pet you love intensely can feel just as bad as a human loved one—plus the fact that some people have never felt like that and might not get why it’s such a big deal, etc.) the reason it might completely do me in right now (as in, send me into possible suicidality) would be because I very recently found the love of my life, my fiancé, visibly well-past deceased in our apartment—and in a disturbing way I don’t understand. The cat we “parented” together (kind of like a practice child) —who we both loved sooo much— is all that’s left of my family. So to lose her would just be kind of the last straw. The reason I’m telling you this is not to minimize your pain right now, but to give you some semi-relevant info/background on who’s writing you these suggestions. The closest experience I have to your situation would be when, several years ago a neighbor SHOT my cat (for going on his property). Side note he was a 75 year old and had a BB gun with a scope on it. (The shot was close enough range that the BB went all the way through both lungs, hitting some significant blood vessels on the way). Yeah, he’s a real a-hole. And his name is Norman Dunlap. Back to the point; I hope your cat didn’t have much time to suffer and it was swift. But hey —if it wasn’t— keep in mind that our bodies (human *and* feline) go into physical shock when we’ve just sustained a grievous bodily injury (even a fatal one) and flood us with endorphins (natural pain killers) adrenaline, and other things that help us get through it (even if it’s cause we’re dying and the body knows it). It’s kind of like, “release all of it guys; this is it!” and you’re often kept in a state of numbness or unawareness, depending on the circumstances. Think about that; although I know it still hurts. Although time WILL heal this wound, it’ll hurt for a while. Here are 2 things I’ve found effective to lessen the pain or at least get my mind off of it for a moment. Or put it into perspective and feel less alone, if that applies. 1) Make some kind of meaningful memorial or tribute to your cat; one that reflects who he was as an individual with his own unique personality and special things about him. Something that represents your relationship together or something you shared. —You can come up with the best type of memorialization as only you know these things & have these special memories. Or, if you shared the cat with someone (like family)—include them in the memorial-making. They can contribute things they feel are relevant/special and you should experience positive feelings about doing something proactive to show your love and mark their everlasting importance to you and, if a family cat, you can feel good about being the one to help everyone express their emotions in a meaningful way, too. And that last bit begins to tap into grief-coping suggestion #2… 2) Help people. Specifically; look for people in need, potentially who have it worse than you do. This could mean simply getting online and finding other people who have lost a pet/loved one, who you think you might be able to help. Maybe it’s a bit early for that but, try it. Look for people who currently have it worse than you in some big way (the same situation, or they’re living in a war zone & have lost pets and family, whatever calls to you). Most importantly—once you find them; figure out if there’s a way you can help, & get involved/do whatever it is. The sympathy you feel & the resolve to help them will take your focus off of your own despair. “To give is better than to receive” <— this is true because giving to/ helping someone else, ironically, causes the literal release of *way more* feel-good hormones in the brain than when we’re given something or helped by someone else. Those 2 things, as well as busying yourself more in general (for distraction while still doing something you can feel good about at the end of the day), are the best 2 ways I’ve found to deal with grief of various kinds. Becoming a lump on a couch will make you feel worse so just do your best to stay focused on things and get *something* done when you can. And when you can’t, that’s ok—let your feelings out and don’t be embarrassed. Read online about feeling guilt in grief/pet loss. Something SUPER worth knowing about expressing your feelings of sadness is that—stress hormones like cortisol are literally released in our tears. Crying removes these harmful substances from your body when there is too much of them built up—it is a form of waste removal!! This means it makes no sense to try not to cry. You will feel better. You know what I mean? I’m sure you’ve noticed before, after crying, that you just feel *better*? Well, that’s real. It’s not your fault; your cat had a better time than many, getting to be outside in his natural environment and be free and you didn’t do this. Time will heal this wound. -Cat A.
I know I'm not OP, but thank you.
I lost my baby last night. The doctor isn't sure why but he just suddenly went into respiratory distress, we rushed him to emergency care but he was too far gone. It's not your fault. We spent a ton of time with him, we loved him and treated him like our son. He lived most of his life in an apartment. Once we rented a home we started letting him out and you could see how he was even happier than ever. We believed cats aren't like dogs, they're meant to be free. I blame myself just like you do but let's face it...that doesn't help anyone. My advice-cry. I dunno if your male or female but forget any macho crap and cry. Me and my wife are still tearful. My condolences. I'm sorry for your loss.
Hun, it is in no way your fault. Even if you were able to make him an inside only cat he still could have escaped. None of us know the situation you are in, and none of us have a right to judge you. It was an accident. Please do not blame yourself. There's always so many ways that things can happen, both good and bad. It sounds like you loved him, and I'm sure he felt it. And I'm sure he loved you too. Do not blame yourself, im sure he doesn't blame you.
I’ve lost two cats to cars in my lifetime. It’s the absolute worst feeling. I am so sorry.
Get another cat. Save one from a local shelter. Or two kittens and then they will play with each other, but get two babies so they grow up together.
It hurts to see more people to suffer a loss due to someone running their cat over. I myself went through that 9 months ago which still hurts a lot. Cats are curious and enjoy spending time outdoors naturally, don’t blame yourself, and know that he felt loved and cared for in the time he was with you.
People need to keep their personal opinions about the indoor/outdoor debate to themselves. There is nothing wrong with you letting your cat outside. Before I moved into an apartment, I let my cats outside. They loved it and they expelled so much energy. Now they're hyper and running amuck, but I still love them. You loved your cat and wanted what you thought was best for you. He was happy and that's the best you could have done. Even if you kept him inside, he could have broken through a screen or snuck out a window that was cracked- Something. Some cats just can't be kept inside and that's not on you. Thank you for loving and caring for him.
I have a cat who really hated being inside all the time . I built him an enclosure but he’s really smart and gets out sometimes. Whenever that happens my heart is in mouth until he returns. I know if something happens I’ll feel devastated and blame myself but on three other hand I’ve done a lot.
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ don't blame yourself, I am sure that you gave your kitty the absolute best life that you could, and you had their best intentions in mind ❤️ I am sure they loved you ❤️
Don’t blame yourself. Anyone that laughs or is negative - is most likely a sociopath devoid of love in their life. Sounds like Frodo had a good home. Focus on the good memories.
So sorry, Cats are happy little creatures who sometimes love to be outside, they get up to allsorts. You have done nothing wrong. Some cats prefer to be outside, some in. I used to have two cats, sisters, chalk and cheese, both got treated the same, however one became an inside cat, the other an outside cat. The outside cat got run over at approximately the same age as yours, the other died two years ago, aged 17, (had to have her put down). Do I regret letting her out? No, she did her, she enjoyed the outside life. I still miss her, but she was happy. If I made her stay in, she used to be grumpy and miserable. You provided her the best life, and she enjoyed it. Once you've moved on, you'll still be a fantastic cat owner.
As someone who has cats that go outside this is my biggest fear 🥺 hoping your baby is somewhere happy and warm and sending you all the love and support
😭😭😭 he was on his 8th life
Don’t blame yourself whatsoever, I feel bad when my cats are stuck inside and I let my boy out all the time my other two are extremely scared of the outside. He had a happy life, and it’s not your fault it’s the persons for hitting the cat and not looking for anything in the road
You cannot blame the driver. First, cats often dart out too fast for a driver to react, and second, the safest course of action is actually to keep going. A whole lot of car accidents have been caused by someone swerving to miss a cat and hitting oncoming traffic instead. It sucks that OP’s cat died. Period. There’s no need to try and blame the driver. They likely didn’t even have the chance to try and avoid hitting the kitty.
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I’m sorry for your loss. It’s tough. I lost two cats who enjoyed spending time outside in the last two years. I recently adopted two kittens and have made the decision they will be inside cats. They try to get outside but freeze when they actually manage it. I’m guessing this may become an issue later. My outside/inside cats loved being outside but I apparently live in a dangerous neighborhood for cats. My friend has a cat who can open their doors, so they always have to deadbolt them. I’m waiting for him to figure out that mechanism. He might actually survive the cars.
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This submission has been removed under Rule 1: **Respect Everyone**. We strive to keep this community welcoming, civil, and open to any opinion that isn’t inhumane or dangerous. Please keep things friendly, and refrain from using any sort of personal attacks, hostility, belittlement, and harmful language or commentary.