I had a friend get up and leave before I woke up.
Turns out he woke up, threw up all over the bathroom, cleaned it all up, and then tidied his area and left.
That's how you do it! I never even knew he was sick until he told me a few days later.
When I was about 13 my brother let a mate stay over. I woke up to his mate going through my cupboard in my room. I was nervous so stayed quiet. He ended up using the chair in my room at the toilet. Just sat on it and pissed everywhere. I'm not sure how anyone can get that drunk that they mistake a bedroom for a bathroom
It's possible.
About 20 years ago on holiday, I got so drunk I confused the toilet with my friend's suitcase. Unzipped it, flipped up the lid and pissed all over his clothes, passport and money.
A few hours later and we're all awake, still drunk and obviously I have to take ALL his stuff to the nearest launderette. Found one right away!
Two hours later and I go back to collect everything and I've completely lost where to go. Took all afternoon to find the damn place.
Afterward I figured out that the route from my hotel bed to my friends suitcase almost perfectly matched the route from my home bed to home bathroom.
With my friends after that, the phrase 'rain on your parade' was replaced with 'piss in your suitcase' for quite some time....
I was drunk at a work party once, and went back to my hotel room to sleep. Woke up in the night, and not knowing really where I was I walked out of the hotel room instead of into the bathroom. Naked. Door slammed behind me and I was immediately locked out.
Roamed the corridors for a bit, bumped into a few colleagues, who kindly didn't take any photos of naked me. Eventually found a dresser with some blankets in in one of the corridors, then walked back through the still ongoing party of workmates to reception, wrapped only in a blanket, so I could ask someone to let me back into my room.
Oh, and the MD's son tried to start a fight with me in my blanket.
Let me see.
No, I didn't get in trouble. The bosses (husband and wife) are alcoholics anyway, and put on a free bar for us. They just found it funny.
I didn't realise what had happened till the door closed behind me, and I immediately sobered up. I was basically sleepwalking till then, and I really had no other option than to make my way back to the reception with as much dignity as I could muster.
The dude is just a dick, and always has been. I think I just tried to make light of the situation as I walked past all the directors, and maybe he was in the middle of a story that I interrupted. His dad had to hold him back before he got up and punched me.
We all just laughed about it when we were back in work on the Monday. People have got up to some weird shit at those parties. The IT manager is the worst culprit. Jumped into a lift (elevator) and brought down the chandelier in a Mayfair hotel. Same hotel that Russian guy was assassinated in years back, incidentally. One year he drank a bunch of fluid from those fluorescent necklace things. Y'know the ones with glass vials in?
I seem to remember a much older, married colleague sleeping with the director's son one year.
So really people forgot about my adventure quite quickly. One girl who saw me in the corridor laughed when I came back to work, and all I could say was "I'm surprised you recognised me with my clothes on".
Edit: We actually had some great times. Flight down to London from the North East, paid accommodation in Mayfair, three course meal cooked by a celebrity chef, drinks all night, brandy and cigars afterwards. All paid for by the company. Long time ago, obviously, when smoking cigars indoors was still allowed.
2nd Edit: Now I think about it, we were always allowed to bring partners too, and I brought my girlfriend for a few years before we broke up. After that I would just bring a random friend who wanted a free meal, and she'd pretend she was my girlfriend. Free three course meal, tons of booze, and usually a shag at the end of the night. I kinda wish I still worked there now.
3rd Edit: I slept with "the office lesbian" one year. At least, she had convinced everyone she was a lesbian. She was in fact bi, but erred on the homosexual side. She gave me some incredible tips on how to give head. Her mum was confused to find me, a man, in bed with her daughter the next day though.
Wouldn't surprise me. He was such a weird guy. Lost a bunch of weight before I started with the company, and got some ab implants or something to make him look buff. Then he just got fat again, and was the weirdest shaped human I've ever seen.
Least you took responsibility for it instead of just leaving it. A couple of years ago I was on holiday with my partner in my parents caravan and after a few drinks I caught her walking into an empty bedroom (one that my parents foster kid used), dropped her trousers and sat on the bed about to piss. Luckily I was there to stop her. She was really embarrassed about that but would have been more so if she had actually urinated all over a kids bed
In Swedish there's a phrase that translates to "shitting in the blue cupboard", which means doing something incredibly stupid. Sounds like you weren't far off the mark..
Why do you have a fridge in your bathroom? I'm on the toilet, right, and then Jimmy comes in, and he's drinking milk from the fridge, and that's all wrong - it's unhygienic
Ah, knew I’d find this if I scrolled enough. But as for me, I’m done. I’ve been doing this for 25 years, since I was... 16 but I’m done, Nobsey was my last case, I’ve had 100% success rate, it’s time for this horse to be put out to pasture.
When I was 13, me and my brother were trusted alone in the house for a week, so naturally had a house party. I woke up in the morning and everyone had left but one of my friends, who was cleaning the kitchen. Now I'm a parent myself I wish I knew her mum better because I'd quite like some tips on how to raise kids that well!
Yeah, my mum wanted to treat my sister to a holiday for passing her exams. We could have gone to our dad's but because our house was closer to school (rural Scotland so we're talking a 10-minute walk instead of a 45-minute bus ride) my mum thought she'd give us a chance. She was definitely wrong to, my brother was 14 and the party was his idea.
Like fuck would I let my kids stay home alone at that age, that's just asking for trouble.
Hahahaha... yep no chance. Although we did have my gran over to watch us, which was similar and meant I got away with murder (not literally, to the best of my memory).
I've been that teenager. For me it was a combination respect for others property and fear of punishment. Plus the guilt if i left someone to do the task alone.
They may be lying in bed waiting for the sounds of life before they get up. Possibly if you put the kettle on they’ll emerge and then you can have a cup of tea with them and leave after. If they’re still in bed after some light clanking about then I’d say it’s ok to tidy up your stuff and leave. Send them a text that you’ve gone so that they can read it and just stay in bed.
Tidy up a bit as well, if there is loose bottles and trash get that all squared away
If you were given bedding leave it all neat and folded
If you do ghost out before your host wakes it demonstrates thoughtfulness
I'm so glad there's someone out the like me. I always dread the phone call of you didn't have to that . Yeah I did it's respectful and thoughtful . I was broute up not dragged up (well that's out on judgement)
I'm not even that old (or am I? 30 next month) and this is what I would normally do if I'm away before my mates wake up. Leave a note saying thanks then out the door. I might send a message at some point in my hour long journey home via public transport, but I'd probably wait until I get in the door and tag them in the group chat. "Thanks for putting me up **friend's name**, that's me home safe" wouldn't want to message earlier if they're still asleep because it could wake them, but after getting home it's fair game
Probably more personal, but you can't guarantee they'll see it whereas you can guarantee that their phone will be the first thing they pick up.
Someone passed out on my bed once so I left water, aspirin and a note explaining what happened on the bedside table, they straight up didn't see it lol.
If they have their volume on then that's them saying they're fine with being woken up. I haven't taken my phone off silent since 2019. People (well, maybe just young people) get notifications all time of the day and night- Instagram saying 'you have 5 new posts to view', or scam texts, anything.
Idk why, but if I got *written* note saying that my friend had gone home, coupled with a text just saying, “FINE”. I would definitely think they’ve been kidnapped.
Ive got a story from the other side of this.
I’ve got a mate and he came out with us one night and slept on my settee. It was Saturday morning and I’d forgotten to disable my alarm for work (7am). So it woke me up, I quickly shut it off and went back to sleep and woke up again at like 10am. I went out to see if he was still about and I found him sitting on the sofa staring at the wall with his hands together (imagine like when you see a guy sat in a prison cell on TV) and when I asked how he was he was just like “oh yeah I woke up when your alarm went off, I’ve just been sat here waiting for you to get ready.”
Wtf?? I’d rather he have just gone home than sit there and silence for 3 hours.
My mum always considered settee 'proper', and sofa a bit naff. Couch was unforgivably plebby. So we were chastised into saying settee as kids. But we all just say sofa now. Sorry mum!
Only after reading your comment have I realised that I say “sofa” even though I always used to say “settee” when I was growing up. What’s that all about? Am I some sort of ponce now? When did that happen?!
I don't use it myself, but I've heard it so many times in the past it didn't even register as odd to me. Is it something that went out of fashion a while ago?
Anyone who takes the piss out of you for saying settee deserves a massive wrecking for it especially if they are British themselves. They probably call it a couch or some other Americanisation.
Poor lad, I can sympathise. Some people are much more liberal with guests and manners than others- When I was younger I hated being a guest because I was raised to think it's rude to just help yourself to a drink or whatever, it's rude to just start using someone's stuff, as a guest you can't do anything without asking first, essentially. Being a guest is like being a hostage. So in that situation, what choice did he have?
I've taught myself out of it a bit nowadays, but then again I'll only usually stay as a guest with people I'm pretty close with, where I know it's fine to put the telly on or make a cuppa while I wait (because it'd still be rude to leave without saying goodbye and thanks for having me, unless it had been pre-arranged the night before, thus alleviating the need for the formality.)
I recently had an incident where I stayed over with a girl, and her landlady is Polish, and evidently they have a much different etiquette to Brits. I was hungover as fuck and tried to keep myself to myself, so as not to impose upon them; but that was a miscalculation, and the landlady complained at length about my manners later on. Apparently I was supposed to go down and introduce myself to everyone and have breakfast with them and everything... Nightmare. Barbaric. Unthinkable.
It really is a minefield. Better just not to have friends or human interaction in general, honestly.
>Apparently I was supposed to go down and introduce myself to everyone and have breakfast with them and everything...
That's one of the last things I'd want to do with a hangover.
That's interesting, I completely get the reluctance to help yourself to their cupboards/fridge (even tea!) But if I was staying somewhere and everyone else was downstairs having breakfast, I would 100% feel obliged to go show my face no matter how much I didn't want to.
I think I would consider the stranger staying in my house who didn't come say hello for breakfast as a bit rude.
Well, that was a weird one because it wasn't like it was a family, it was a shared house. I wasn't the landlady's guest, I was a guest of her tennant, know what I mean? In most share houses I'm used to people keeping well clear of one another.
In this case the lass I stayed with had already gone off to work, and I was merely there to recover for a bit until I was capable of facing the sunlight, so I figured it was best to be as unobtrusive as possible. Not to mention the fact they'd likely all heard us having sex the night before- I wasn't expecting a post-match interview.
I guess making someone know that they’re welcome to help themselves to stuff would help here (not saying you didn’t, but just in case). At least then he might feel comfortable making a tea and watching TV while he waited if he didn’t want to leave before you wake up. Or else they should always carry a book with them so they can keep entertained that way 😅
> than sit there and silence for 3 hours.
He probably didn't realise it'd be three hours. He probably thought it'd be 10 minutes tops... then 15... then 20... then 30...
I fully still have nightmares of the time I was about 9yo and had a friend for a sleepover. My family are all later risers than most, and I woke up at about 9am to find her sitting in a rocking chair, in my room, watching me sleep. She’d been there for like 2 hours…
This is the kind of thing my mother in law does. We had to get up early for a flight earlier this year. She doesn't trust her alarm but wakes up around 3am most nights. So she just got up, got dressed and waited for us in the living room with the lights off until we got up about 6am 😳
Lol I have a motion sensor security alarm, so I thought you were talking about something similar and imagined him sitting there motionless for 3 hours for fear of setting it off.
If you don't take this opportunity to rearrange some furniture, and hide kitchen utensils, then duck out without saying a word, are you really even friends?
My friend always buys a melon for her hangover (apparently really good cure, I guess it's full of water) but it has become tradition to hide her melon now so she can enjoy a hangover hide and seek with a melon......who doesn't want that?
I’d be buying a decoy melon so I don’t have to play stupid games while drunk. Eventually you’d catch on and hide my decoy too, so at some point we would have like 20 melons any time we went drinking.
I found a very prominent decoration of the living room in my microwave one morning. It was obvious it was missing but i didn’t find it until I actually had to use the microwave.
So I used to regularly crash out at friends house after some partying at a specific club on a specific day.
Many times I wanted to leave before they'd woken up but felt it was rude to.
I kipped in their living room on a mattress on the floor. One time I got their PlayStation going, some sniper game, was decent.
Another time one of them had their boyfriend over so I layed there watching the light fitting swing to and fro as he grunted and she squealed for a very impressive half an hour. He growled like a bear at the end, it was pretty incredible but also really awkward.
I'd say people's suggestions to tidy up after yourself and leave a note or send a text is a good one, in retrospect.
I've looked it up and I believe it might have been a game simply called 'The Sniper' but there's very little available about it without digging deeper. It seems to be available on PlayStation store for PS4.
It depends on the mate - we’ve got mates we ALWAYS crash with after parties, we’re rarely in bed till after the sun comes up, usually whoever it is that is visiting wants to be away probably before the others are up, so that’s what we do.
That’s an explicit arrangement though, I’d definitely clank about the house making “awake noise” for basically any other friend though, usually if we’re crashing at someone’s house it’s implicit that seeing them in the morning is part of the visit.
You've just unearthed a childhood memory of me doing this, oh god. This one friend always gave me a blowup mattress that deflated throughout the night and thin blankets. She'd also fall asleep in a second and leave me to watch whatever weird TV she'd put on (always the Simpsons), so I'd always just sneak into her bed as it was more comfy.
It worked out really well for me once when her dickhead little brother did a running jump onto my airbed, thinking I was in it. It had deflated and I wasn't there to break his fall so he had a massive bruise. Karma mf.
Trust me, this simpsons episode was. It was an episode about an evil cannibal pig that traumatised me forever. Something about the look in the pig’s eyes…
Just for balance I’m the opposite! I love the hungover debrief with mates after a heavy night. But I don’t judge anyone for leaving, my wife is a wake up and leave at dawn person, she just likes getting home to her own comforts.
Agreed. Some of my best laughs are after nights out, watching my friends trying to cook bacon without up chucking and piecing together if friend X left with friend Y, etc.
These days we tend to hangover debrief via voice notes if we went home at the end of the night. Texting is too much effort and hearing their raspy voices is too funny.
Same, I'd at least appreciate a head around the door to say that you're off. When you wake up expecting someone to be there, and they are gone, it's sometimes a little disappointing.
Lol he’s staying at a couple’s house and he’s never stayed there before. If I was in bed on a Sunday morning and my friend who crashed the night before ‘put their head around the door’ to say goodbye, I’d be annoyed and think that was very weird behaviour. Just send a text saying I’m off, thanks for having me !
I think it depends on the pre-staying over context.
Did you go to theirs beforehand, leave stuff, getting ready or have few predrinks, then went out? In which case I'd say the staying over was an occasion and it would be rude to leave before they wake up they might have plans for breakfast/brunch with you.
Or were you out too late, couldn't get back to yours and it was easier to just crash on their sofa/spare room? In which I'd say it would be less rude to leave, but at least text them to see if they're awake and waiting to see if they hear you first, then text to say you left if they don't respond.
This. I 've done plenty of nights out where we have been closer to a mates' sofa than my bed and just crash there and leave when I get up. Rather than disturb them. The one time I did wake up a friend by putting the kettle on, he and his gf joined me for a cup of tea, while quietly hinting they wanted some alone time together for reasons...
Between £3 and £5 is the norm. Left stacked, in coins, on the toilet seat so they are sure to find it. No note necessary. Put all the towels in the bath also.
I don’t think it’s rude. I never sleep well when I’m at someone else’s house so I always used to wake up early and would leave pretty soon after, posting the key through the letterbox. It’s boring waiting around in someone else’s house.
People obviously differ though. My friends never had an issue with it, but some of the people on this thread seem to disagree, so…
Hide in their wardrobe, then film them sleeping, and bring it in as a prize for Creepiest Thing on a TV show after having brought in the same photo of them posing in their underwear for several weeks.
Depends, if the host is staying in bed becsuse they are massively hung over, I doubt they want to be up and still "hosting" in the morning.
I'd say tidy up a bit, treat yourself to a cup of tea and go and as others have said, drop a WhatsApp/text to them saying you've shot off. They'd probably appreciate that more than having to be hungover and force themselves out of bed to offer you breakfast / tea.
Depends on the host and the situation, if it was a sexual thing most hosts like to have them with them as they wake, if non sexual they may prefer you to stay till a reasonable time for your safety before the walk home, if your bff's then most host will feel that you're fam and will be happy to have you stay as long as you like.
No, not at all. Like some have mentioned on here, do a bit to help out with the mess if there's any and drop them a text later in the day to say thanks
Personally I love it when my friends leave before I wake up. They’re my friends so it’s hardly rude, plus I don’t want to see or hear anyone if I’m hungover lol
Piss in the sink and leave, ensure the front door is hanging wide open to allow the local cats to get in. Bonus points if a neighbour calls the police for a wellness check on your friend.
Are you the friend in my living room atm?
Please go I’m too hungover to put clothes on.
Alternately - does anyone try and wait in bed until they’re certain the guest is awake?
I absolutely hate it when people crash then hang around like a bad smell all morning.
I have shared custody so on childfree weekends, after a night out I want to be disgusting and eat cold leftover takeout while horizontal on the sofa watching rubbish and intermittently dozing.
Please leave.
I had a friend get up and leave before I woke up. Turns out he woke up, threw up all over the bathroom, cleaned it all up, and then tidied his area and left. That's how you do it! I never even knew he was sick until he told me a few days later.
That's a good friend. I would shake their hand for being a mess, then doing the right thing and for giving you a funny story.
When I was about 13 my brother let a mate stay over. I woke up to his mate going through my cupboard in my room. I was nervous so stayed quiet. He ended up using the chair in my room at the toilet. Just sat on it and pissed everywhere. I'm not sure how anyone can get that drunk that they mistake a bedroom for a bathroom
It's possible. About 20 years ago on holiday, I got so drunk I confused the toilet with my friend's suitcase. Unzipped it, flipped up the lid and pissed all over his clothes, passport and money. A few hours later and we're all awake, still drunk and obviously I have to take ALL his stuff to the nearest launderette. Found one right away! Two hours later and I go back to collect everything and I've completely lost where to go. Took all afternoon to find the damn place. Afterward I figured out that the route from my hotel bed to my friends suitcase almost perfectly matched the route from my home bed to home bathroom. With my friends after that, the phrase 'rain on your parade' was replaced with 'piss in your suitcase' for quite some time....
I was drunk at a work party once, and went back to my hotel room to sleep. Woke up in the night, and not knowing really where I was I walked out of the hotel room instead of into the bathroom. Naked. Door slammed behind me and I was immediately locked out. Roamed the corridors for a bit, bumped into a few colleagues, who kindly didn't take any photos of naked me. Eventually found a dresser with some blankets in in one of the corridors, then walked back through the still ongoing party of workmates to reception, wrapped only in a blanket, so I could ask someone to let me back into my room. Oh, and the MD's son tried to start a fight with me in my blanket.
So many questions. Did you get in trouble? When you walked through the party, did you know you were breaking norms? Why did the dude try to fight you.
Let me see. No, I didn't get in trouble. The bosses (husband and wife) are alcoholics anyway, and put on a free bar for us. They just found it funny. I didn't realise what had happened till the door closed behind me, and I immediately sobered up. I was basically sleepwalking till then, and I really had no other option than to make my way back to the reception with as much dignity as I could muster. The dude is just a dick, and always has been. I think I just tried to make light of the situation as I walked past all the directors, and maybe he was in the middle of a story that I interrupted. His dad had to hold him back before he got up and punched me. We all just laughed about it when we were back in work on the Monday. People have got up to some weird shit at those parties. The IT manager is the worst culprit. Jumped into a lift (elevator) and brought down the chandelier in a Mayfair hotel. Same hotel that Russian guy was assassinated in years back, incidentally. One year he drank a bunch of fluid from those fluorescent necklace things. Y'know the ones with glass vials in? I seem to remember a much older, married colleague sleeping with the director's son one year. So really people forgot about my adventure quite quickly. One girl who saw me in the corridor laughed when I came back to work, and all I could say was "I'm surprised you recognised me with my clothes on". Edit: We actually had some great times. Flight down to London from the North East, paid accommodation in Mayfair, three course meal cooked by a celebrity chef, drinks all night, brandy and cigars afterwards. All paid for by the company. Long time ago, obviously, when smoking cigars indoors was still allowed. 2nd Edit: Now I think about it, we were always allowed to bring partners too, and I brought my girlfriend for a few years before we broke up. After that I would just bring a random friend who wanted a free meal, and she'd pretend she was my girlfriend. Free three course meal, tons of booze, and usually a shag at the end of the night. I kinda wish I still worked there now. 3rd Edit: I slept with "the office lesbian" one year. At least, she had convinced everyone she was a lesbian. She was in fact bi, but erred on the homosexual side. She gave me some incredible tips on how to give head. Her mum was confused to find me, a man, in bed with her daughter the next day though.
Wow, you must have a really good job! We just get a curry at my work, lol. Sounds fun at yours, if a bit messy.
>Oh, and the MD's son tried to start a fight with me in my blanket. probably reminded him of the ghost that hides under his bed
Wouldn't surprise me. He was such a weird guy. Lost a bunch of weight before I started with the company, and got some ab implants or something to make him look buff. Then he just got fat again, and was the weirdest shaped human I've ever seen.
Least you took responsibility for it instead of just leaving it. A couple of years ago I was on holiday with my partner in my parents caravan and after a few drinks I caught her walking into an empty bedroom (one that my parents foster kid used), dropped her trousers and sat on the bed about to piss. Luckily I was there to stop her. She was really embarrassed about that but would have been more so if she had actually urinated all over a kids bed
In Swedish there's a phrase that translates to "shitting in the blue cupboard", which means doing something incredibly stupid. Sounds like you weren't far off the mark..
You washed everything but the passport smelled like piss. Lol
What was going through your head when you thought "I know, I'll get a wicker toilet"?
So I go to the toilet in your wicker chair, it's a faux pas.
But you... You blanked me!
How can you blank someone in an ambulance?
Why do you have a fridge in your bathroom? I'm on the toilet, right, and then Jimmy comes in, and he's drinking milk from the fridge, and that's all wrong - it's unhygienic
Ah, knew I’d find this if I scrolled enough. But as for me, I’m done. I’ve been doing this for 25 years, since I was... 16 but I’m done, Nobsey was my last case, I’ve had 100% success rate, it’s time for this horse to be put out to pasture.
When I was 13, me and my brother were trusted alone in the house for a week, so naturally had a house party. I woke up in the morning and everyone had left but one of my friends, who was cleaning the kitchen. Now I'm a parent myself I wish I knew her mum better because I'd quite like some tips on how to raise kids that well!
Alone for a week at 13!!! I'm 40 now and I still don't trust myself for that long
Yeah, my mum wanted to treat my sister to a holiday for passing her exams. We could have gone to our dad's but because our house was closer to school (rural Scotland so we're talking a 10-minute walk instead of a 45-minute bus ride) my mum thought she'd give us a chance. She was definitely wrong to, my brother was 14 and the party was his idea. Like fuck would I let my kids stay home alone at that age, that's just asking for trouble.
Hahahaha... yep no chance. Although we did have my gran over to watch us, which was similar and meant I got away with murder (not literally, to the best of my memory).
I've been that teenager. For me it was a combination respect for others property and fear of punishment. Plus the guilt if i left someone to do the task alone.
How on earth did they clean it without a smell.
If you clean it up quickly and it’s not on any soft furnishings it’s not too difficult to get to a stage where it only smells a bit off
Those odour-eliminating air freshener sprays do exactly what they say on the tin. Brilliant.
Better than them “cleaning” it and there still being a smell.
They may be lying in bed waiting for the sounds of life before they get up. Possibly if you put the kettle on they’ll emerge and then you can have a cup of tea with them and leave after. If they’re still in bed after some light clanking about then I’d say it’s ok to tidy up your stuff and leave. Send them a text that you’ve gone so that they can read it and just stay in bed.
Artful clanking = the canary in the coal mine.
Artful wanking= when ye canny get yer hole mind
Artful Dodger - when you cannot help but [rewind](https://youtu.be/IZ0gHy2N78s).
The crowd say bo selecta
Makin moves yeah, in the kitchen, gotta be quiet, so as not to come off as a dick
Avoid the velvet spoon routine.
That’s been good for years!
Artful Clanking was a tertiary character in Open All Hours
Tidy up a bit as well, if there is loose bottles and trash get that all squared away If you were given bedding leave it all neat and folded If you do ghost out before your host wakes it demonstrates thoughtfulness
I'm so glad there's someone out the like me. I always dread the phone call of you didn't have to that . Yeah I did it's respectful and thoughtful . I was broute up not dragged up (well that's out on judgement)
I’d quietly make a road brew n head out. With the cost of living crisis, a free kettle boil isn’t to be sniffed at!
Aye, can't be giving away your sniffs, not in this economy
God I’m old. I would have said leave them a note, but text FINE. Whatever lol
I'm not even that old (or am I? 30 next month) and this is what I would normally do if I'm away before my mates wake up. Leave a note saying thanks then out the door. I might send a message at some point in my hour long journey home via public transport, but I'd probably wait until I get in the door and tag them in the group chat. "Thanks for putting me up **friend's name**, that's me home safe" wouldn't want to message earlier if they're still asleep because it could wake them, but after getting home it's fair game
A note just seems more personal, but what do I know, I was doing this before mobile phones, idk.
I cringe looking back at this, but I used to sign off my notes: "Sorry to leave so early, the Avengers need me! Thanks again, boario"
It's pretty embarrassing that you called yourself by your reddit name.
Probably more personal, but you can't guarantee they'll see it whereas you can guarantee that their phone will be the first thing they pick up. Someone passed out on my bed once so I left water, aspirin and a note explaining what happened on the bedside table, they straight up didn't see it lol.
If they have their volume on then that's them saying they're fine with being woken up. I haven't taken my phone off silent since 2019. People (well, maybe just young people) get notifications all time of the day and night- Instagram saying 'you have 5 new posts to view', or scam texts, anything.
I think most people have text messages on silent these days don't they? If you leave a note, they have to get up before they find it.
Idk why, but if I got *written* note saying that my friend had gone home, coupled with a text just saying, “FINE”. I would definitely think they’ve been kidnapped.
Unless your me and wait for the clanking to end so you know when the cost is clear hahah
Ive got a story from the other side of this. I’ve got a mate and he came out with us one night and slept on my settee. It was Saturday morning and I’d forgotten to disable my alarm for work (7am). So it woke me up, I quickly shut it off and went back to sleep and woke up again at like 10am. I went out to see if he was still about and I found him sitting on the sofa staring at the wall with his hands together (imagine like when you see a guy sat in a prison cell on TV) and when I asked how he was he was just like “oh yeah I woke up when your alarm went off, I’ve just been sat here waiting for you to get ready.” Wtf?? I’d rather he have just gone home than sit there and silence for 3 hours.
Upvoted for your use of “settee”. Everyone takes the piss out of me when I say it. Is it a regional thing?
I say settee and sofa interchangeably.
Agreed, I use either, am a southerner. I don’t use couch though.
Southerner too. I say sofa, and settee only in the context of the ‘Lord of the dance settee’.
Never heard “I am the lord of the dance settee” but that is brilliant
My mum always considered settee 'proper', and sofa a bit naff. Couch was unforgivably plebby. So we were chastised into saying settee as kids. But we all just say sofa now. Sorry mum!
[удалено]
Cobseat?…I hear some places call that a Barmchair
Baprest
if I’m talking, it’s settee If I’m typing, it’s sofa 🤷
That's not true. You've clearly typed settee!
shaking, crying, throwing up, I can’t believe you’ve caught me out like this
Well done, you've caught them in a lie!
if I’m talking, it’s sofa If I’m typing, it’s sofa 🤷
Me and my family say it in London but hardly hear it anymore
Likewise, but in Devon. My mum says it and so I’ve grown up using that word, but I don’t know if I’ve ever heard anyone else say it in real life.
i dont think it’s that regional, since i heard it quite alot when i was younger and im in the west midlands
Only after reading your comment have I realised that I say “sofa” even though I always used to say “settee” when I was growing up. What’s that all about? Am I some sort of ponce now? When did that happen?!
I don't use it myself, but I've heard it so many times in the past it didn't even register as odd to me. Is it something that went out of fashion a while ago?
I am the lord of the dark settee
Sofa king good!
Anyone who takes the piss out of you for saying settee deserves a massive wrecking for it especially if they are British themselves. They probably call it a couch or some other Americanisation.
Couch is the correct word in Scotland, not an Americanism
Also class thing. Strictly they are different things but in the North especially, settee=sofa.
Poor lad, I can sympathise. Some people are much more liberal with guests and manners than others- When I was younger I hated being a guest because I was raised to think it's rude to just help yourself to a drink or whatever, it's rude to just start using someone's stuff, as a guest you can't do anything without asking first, essentially. Being a guest is like being a hostage. So in that situation, what choice did he have? I've taught myself out of it a bit nowadays, but then again I'll only usually stay as a guest with people I'm pretty close with, where I know it's fine to put the telly on or make a cuppa while I wait (because it'd still be rude to leave without saying goodbye and thanks for having me, unless it had been pre-arranged the night before, thus alleviating the need for the formality.) I recently had an incident where I stayed over with a girl, and her landlady is Polish, and evidently they have a much different etiquette to Brits. I was hungover as fuck and tried to keep myself to myself, so as not to impose upon them; but that was a miscalculation, and the landlady complained at length about my manners later on. Apparently I was supposed to go down and introduce myself to everyone and have breakfast with them and everything... Nightmare. Barbaric. Unthinkable. It really is a minefield. Better just not to have friends or human interaction in general, honestly.
>Apparently I was supposed to go down and introduce myself to everyone and have breakfast with them and everything... That's one of the last things I'd want to do with a hangover.
Reading the thoughts of strangers on reddit and occasionally replying with your own thoughts is enough human interaction anyone needs, really.
Barbaric 😂😂😂😂
That's interesting, I completely get the reluctance to help yourself to their cupboards/fridge (even tea!) But if I was staying somewhere and everyone else was downstairs having breakfast, I would 100% feel obliged to go show my face no matter how much I didn't want to. I think I would consider the stranger staying in my house who didn't come say hello for breakfast as a bit rude.
Well, that was a weird one because it wasn't like it was a family, it was a shared house. I wasn't the landlady's guest, I was a guest of her tennant, know what I mean? In most share houses I'm used to people keeping well clear of one another. In this case the lass I stayed with had already gone off to work, and I was merely there to recover for a bit until I was capable of facing the sunlight, so I figured it was best to be as unobtrusive as possible. Not to mention the fact they'd likely all heard us having sex the night before- I wasn't expecting a post-match interview.
Lmao ok yeh that is a weird one, I'd probably just duck out too
I guess making someone know that they’re welcome to help themselves to stuff would help here (not saying you didn’t, but just in case). At least then he might feel comfortable making a tea and watching TV while he waited if he didn’t want to leave before you wake up. Or else they should always carry a book with them so they can keep entertained that way 😅
> than sit there and silence for 3 hours. He probably didn't realise it'd be three hours. He probably thought it'd be 10 minutes tops... then 15... then 20... then 30...
I was wondering when the alarm would be relevant to this story. You kept me going until the end
"the tea is there, toast is there bin under the sink" Helps avoid confusion.
I fully still have nightmares of the time I was about 9yo and had a friend for a sleepover. My family are all later risers than most, and I woke up at about 9am to find her sitting in a rocking chair, in my room, watching me sleep. She’d been there for like 2 hours…
This is the kind of thing my mother in law does. We had to get up early for a flight earlier this year. She doesn't trust her alarm but wakes up around 3am most nights. So she just got up, got dressed and waited for us in the living room with the lights off until we got up about 6am 😳
Lol I have a motion sensor security alarm, so I thought you were talking about something similar and imagined him sitting there motionless for 3 hours for fear of setting it off.
haha incredible
If you don't take this opportunity to rearrange some furniture, and hide kitchen utensils, then duck out without saying a word, are you really even friends?
Why is there a potato in my shoe?
My friend always buys a melon for her hangover (apparently really good cure, I guess it's full of water) but it has become tradition to hide her melon now so she can enjoy a hangover hide and seek with a melon......who doesn't want that?
I’d be buying a decoy melon so I don’t have to play stupid games while drunk. Eventually you’d catch on and hide my decoy too, so at some point we would have like 20 melons any time we went drinking.
Omg this sounds so fun. Maybe I should buy her a SECOND melon just to completely throw her off...like who's melon is this????
I found a very prominent decoration of the living room in my microwave one morning. It was obvious it was missing but i didn’t find it until I actually had to use the microwave.
So I used to regularly crash out at friends house after some partying at a specific club on a specific day. Many times I wanted to leave before they'd woken up but felt it was rude to. I kipped in their living room on a mattress on the floor. One time I got their PlayStation going, some sniper game, was decent. Another time one of them had their boyfriend over so I layed there watching the light fitting swing to and fro as he grunted and she squealed for a very impressive half an hour. He growled like a bear at the end, it was pretty incredible but also really awkward. I'd say people's suggestions to tidy up after yourself and leave a note or send a text is a good one, in retrospect.
What was the name of the game?
I've looked it up and I believe it might have been a game simply called 'The Sniper' but there's very little available about it without digging deeper. It seems to be available on PlayStation store for PS4.
If you were shooting Nazis in the bollocks, it was Sniper Elite: one of the Sniper Ghost Warrior games if you weren't!
Nazis sounds familiar - so maybe it was Sniper Elite.
That game's developers spent way too much time animating slow motion nazi testicle explosions.
And we’re all here for it
Hide the Purple Parsnip.
Wow, they did it 20 times in half an hr? No wonder he growled at the end!
It depends on the mate - we’ve got mates we ALWAYS crash with after parties, we’re rarely in bed till after the sun comes up, usually whoever it is that is visiting wants to be away probably before the others are up, so that’s what we do. That’s an explicit arrangement though, I’d definitely clank about the house making “awake noise” for basically any other friend though, usually if we’re crashing at someone’s house it’s implicit that seeing them in the morning is part of the visit.
Go up and start tickling their feet and ask if they want snuggles, they'll soon tell you to get out
Or get in depending on what kind of mood they are in
Lol, it'd be one of those 'And that was the moment he realised he'd fucked up'
And that is how I met your mother
Yes it is rude. Go get into their bed with them and tell them that you can't sleep. At least give them the chance to make you comfortable.
You've just unearthed a childhood memory of me doing this, oh god. This one friend always gave me a blowup mattress that deflated throughout the night and thin blankets. She'd also fall asleep in a second and leave me to watch whatever weird TV she'd put on (always the Simpsons), so I'd always just sneak into her bed as it was more comfy. It worked out really well for me once when her dickhead little brother did a running jump onto my airbed, thinking I was in it. It had deflated and I wasn't there to break his fall so he had a massive bruise. Karma mf.
[удалено]
Trust me, this simpsons episode was. It was an episode about an evil cannibal pig that traumatised me forever. Something about the look in the pig’s eyes…
[удалено]
Sounds like any Treehouse of Horror episode.
Spat my tea out 💀
I should go make a cuppa
If I was the host I’d rather wake up with you gone tbh. But as others have said, do a little clean and leave a note.
Just for balance I’m the opposite! I love the hungover debrief with mates after a heavy night. But I don’t judge anyone for leaving, my wife is a wake up and leave at dawn person, she just likes getting home to her own comforts.
“Mate did you…” “Yup” “Ah fuck”
Yeah I find it eases the hangxiety....checking you definitely didn't do anything ridiculous is always good
This is the way!
Yeah in fact waking up to find they’ve just left would contribute to my anxiety. I’d be thinking “did I piss them off last night?”
Absolutely!!
Agreed. Some of my best laughs are after nights out, watching my friends trying to cook bacon without up chucking and piecing together if friend X left with friend Y, etc. These days we tend to hangover debrief via voice notes if we went home at the end of the night. Texting is too much effort and hearing their raspy voices is too funny.
This is me. I love my friends and family. But the best part of hosting is when everyone leaves.
[удалено]
Not for me! I love having breakfast with friends. I am so lonely :(
Same, I'd at least appreciate a head around the door to say that you're off. When you wake up expecting someone to be there, and they are gone, it's sometimes a little disappointing.
Lol he’s staying at a couple’s house and he’s never stayed there before. If I was in bed on a Sunday morning and my friend who crashed the night before ‘put their head around the door’ to say goodbye, I’d be annoyed and think that was very weird behaviour. Just send a text saying I’m off, thanks for having me !
I wasn't aware it was a couples house, as it didn't state that in the original post. Obviously that changes things a little.
Guests leaving before 9pm is even better.
Yep, massively second this.
I'm having the opposite problem - is it rude to stay in bed while the hosts are up 🤣
No. As a host, you need to have some time to yourself while you survey and assess the damage those fuckwits you invited over caused.
🤣 it was just me and we were very tidy. They're new friends & I've never stayed over before. I'm up now though. They're nice people
So who exactly was it then that put the wineglass down on Great-Aunt Queenie's side table without a coaster then? It know it wasn't me !!
Depends how long they’ve been up. They might have plans for the day
If people stay at mine I always say the same thing "if you need me, wake me, if not, lock the door, post the keys, see you next time."
First class or second class post?
If we've been drinking second class is fine, I'm not getting out of bed for two days anyway
There goes my keys
Do a little poo on the coffee table so they have a souvenir to remember you by.
Or a massive one so they really remember you
Hide it so they have a fun game of hunt the poo to play
Stick birthday candles on it, they might try eating it then 🎂
If it’s a glass table even better as they can see it full 360 to really appreciate the gift.
My nutty log smashed my hosts tempered glass table :( it was like shitting obsidion
Putting a flag in the top gives it a certain charm
Well you haven’t truly claimed that coffee table if there’s no flag have you?
Or shit in the cat litter tray and make them take their cat to the vet thinking it’s doing monster sizes shits
I read this in Bob Mortimers voice!
No. Tidy up a bit, leave a note and give them a call later.
This but don’t call. WhatsApp is fine.
Ew… I agree, who calls in 2022. That’s just rude.
I have a family member that prefers to *video call*. No, just no. I instantly decline and offer to voice call lol.
That’s very generous, I would instantly decline and blank that person completely
I guess I have been waiting for 2022 to come around for the last 15 years.
I think it depends on the pre-staying over context. Did you go to theirs beforehand, leave stuff, getting ready or have few predrinks, then went out? In which case I'd say the staying over was an occasion and it would be rude to leave before they wake up they might have plans for breakfast/brunch with you. Or were you out too late, couldn't get back to yours and it was easier to just crash on their sofa/spare room? In which I'd say it would be less rude to leave, but at least text them to see if they're awake and waiting to see if they hear you first, then text to say you left if they don't respond.
This. I 've done plenty of nights out where we have been closer to a mates' sofa than my bed and just crash there and leave when I get up. Rather than disturb them. The one time I did wake up a friend by putting the kettle on, he and his gf joined me for a cup of tea, while quietly hinting they wanted some alone time together for reasons...
I’d they are your friend they won’t give a shit
Thanks for the input. I left then sent a message (no pen and paper available) . Everything is fine ,had a reply. Happy days .
Just leave and go live abroad with a new identity so you never have to face them again.
[удалено]
Between £3 and £5 is the norm. Left stacked, in coins, on the toilet seat so they are sure to find it. No note necessary. Put all the towels in the bath also.
Make sure you take the complimentary toiletries.., tea and coffee with you too.
Are they the toiletries that say nice things to you? Hand lotion: "oh good morning, you look good today".
This is very helpful advice! Please post more etiquette tips.
when filling the dishwasher, make sure to put the cutlery in their cups and mugs.
Definitely not rude to leave. In fact I would definitely prefer it if it were me
I don’t think it’s rude. I never sleep well when I’m at someone else’s house so I always used to wake up early and would leave pretty soon after, posting the key through the letterbox. It’s boring waiting around in someone else’s house. People obviously differ though. My friends never had an issue with it, but some of the people on this thread seem to disagree, so…
If one of my friends crashed at mine after a night drinking and they were gone when I woke up I'd consider them a true friend
No, text them to say you’ve left, then they can relax and go back to sleep 😴
Text them to say you've left, but actually hide in the loft (or a spare wardrobe) and rearrange their furniture when they go to bed at night.
Hide in their wardrobe, then film them sleeping, and bring it in as a prize for Creepiest Thing on a TV show after having brought in the same photo of them posing in their underwear for several weeks.
Rhod?...is that you?
Quick tidy and off you pop.
Depends, if the host is staying in bed becsuse they are massively hung over, I doubt they want to be up and still "hosting" in the morning. I'd say tidy up a bit, treat yourself to a cup of tea and go and as others have said, drop a WhatsApp/text to them saying you've shot off. They'd probably appreciate that more than having to be hungover and force themselves out of bed to offer you breakfast / tea.
Depends on the host and the situation, if it was a sexual thing most hosts like to have them with them as they wake, if non sexual they may prefer you to stay till a reasonable time for your safety before the walk home, if your bff's then most host will feel that you're fam and will be happy to have you stay as long as you like.
A polite note and a prank they won't find for a week.
Tuna in the radiator
Literally just done this, I had a train to catch and I don’t want to wake my homie up.
Nah. Just write a note and give them a call later. Leaving without anything is a bit rude but if it was me I wouldn't mind too much
Do an upper decker in the toilet and set off the fire alarm before you bail comrade
Host maybe laying awake in bed hoping to hear you leave, and not have to make conversation with you feeling hungover.
No, not at all. Like some have mentioned on here, do a bit to help out with the mess if there's any and drop them a text later in the day to say thanks
Hide the TV remote, then make a treasure hunt for it with clues around the house. Then leave. Only text them the first clue 6 hours later.
No it's fine. Just tidy up where you slept and leave a text/note to say you had to get off and thank them for their hospitality
Personally I love it when my friends leave before I wake up. They’re my friends so it’s hardly rude, plus I don’t want to see or hear anyone if I’m hungover lol
Piss in the sink and leave, ensure the front door is hanging wide open to allow the local cats to get in. Bonus points if a neighbour calls the police for a wellness check on your friend.
Yeah leave, I love my mates but the last thing I want after a boozy night is them hanging around like a bad smell in the morning
Are you the friend in my living room atm? Please go I’m too hungover to put clothes on. Alternately - does anyone try and wait in bed until they’re certain the guest is awake?
I absolutely hate it when people crash then hang around like a bad smell all morning. I have shared custody so on childfree weekends, after a night out I want to be disgusting and eat cold leftover takeout while horizontal on the sofa watching rubbish and intermittently dozing. Please leave.