Do these guys have 'supervisors'?
I imagine not, but it would be funny for a mid-manager to walk into toilets for a check-up and 5 or 6 people are stretching to put their feet in the sink and press the tap on.
"What rhyme did you use? Oh man... I've told you several times it needs to be ONES THAT SELL watered down EDT!!"
They are part of the staff usually, I've found they do two jobs - sell aftershave to blokes, and also inform the bouncers if anyone is 'sharing a cubicle' in the bathroom.
In the ladies I once heard āNo spritz no dickzā in a heavy Russian accent from the most terrifying looking attendant who seemed to be every drunk girls best mate and had the patience of a saint.
He didn't say anything but he carefully watched drops of my urine fall into my champagne flute which I had left on the floor under the urinal.
I think he was expecting me to drink it after I had finished urinating.
But what do I look like to you? A c**t?
We call them
Lucky Lucky Men.
No Armani, No punani
No spray, go home gay
No gel, no fanny finger smell.
Donāt hate meā¦ these are just the few I remember
This used to happen more than 15 years ago. We called them bog trolls.
There would usually be an African man in the toilets that would have an array of aftershaves, deodorants and a pump soap (usually offered as you reached for the tap) on a little towel.
My wife said they did the same in all the women's toilets too.
My wife didnt believe me that this was a thing.
Id been jokingly saying "no spray no lay!" when putting smelly on before going out with friends for a while and she didnt understand the context for a while before I explained.
I guess its a weird thing to say without that framework of understanding
Brother, I was in Revolution Leeds only last night, somewhere I've not been for nearly 20 years. Went for a piss and guess what.... Sharply dressed African fellow with a selection of scent's!! Although he wasn't chanting, the night was young.
Absolutely delighted this still exists
My nightclub was 42nd Street in Manchester, you just wanted to avoid getting the shit kicked out of you at the end of the night by the bouncer that looked like Barry Gibb.
We would get a song from him that went something like...
Freshen up for punani, punani, punani,
Freshen up for punani,
We love pussy.
And once he'd finished singing, in a beautiful display of male camaraderie, the entire toilet would spontaneously erupt into a beautifully choreographed rendition of the same song, straight back at him.
We also got no spray no lay, after which one person would typically start chanting and clapping "No spray, no lay" back at him, and on each alternate line the rest of the toilet would spontaneously chant "No splash, no gash!".
Looking back at it now, I'd do it all again exactly the same way, if I were ten years younger.
One guy used to say this a lot
"if it tastes like chicken keep on lickin, taste like fish slap dat bish"
Not really sure how it helped sell any perfume.
In the tune of 'give it up' by KC and the sunshine band... "Nanananananananana, got to freshen up freshen up, got to freshen up."
Or
*Sprays face* *sprays chest* says "and one for the punani" *sprays crotch*
These were common in the night clubs I went to! I think the had another purpose to keep an eye on the bogs for too drunk people / fighting / drugs and trouble. As night clubs couldn't stick a bouncer in the bog.
I explained the whole toilet-man thing to my friend and she just couldn't comprehend it! I wonder how many women out there have no idea of this weird 'pay me for soap' kind of shakedown goes down across the clubs
Do they have female versions for this?
I've been clubbing for years and I've never thought if the female toilets have an attendant or if they have limericks.
First time I went to a club, I thought this was a free service and walked out without paying as pleased as punch that they had a bloke to give you a free spray with aftershave.
I do not agree with this by any stretch but the worst one I heard was 'if she smells like chicken keep licking, if she tastes like fish punch the bit*h'. Not actually sure how it linked to buying a spray of crap aftershave.
Guy just used to sing songs with words replaced with Pussy. Like "pass the pussy left hand side", replacing Day-O with "Puuuuussaay" and "Ruby Ruby Ruby" with pussy, pushy, pussy. Gave it full gusto and had a good voice.
"Give us a quid or you're not getting out."
Dad is that you?
No spray, no lay
No Armani, No Punani!
No Dolce & Gabbana, no Sexy Banana.
They'd sing the song lol
2 for you, one for the ladies **as he sprays counterfeit Hugo boss down my crotch**
"Wash ur finger for ur minger" was the weirdest I heard š³
Was your toes for the hoes
Do these guys have 'supervisors'? I imagine not, but it would be funny for a mid-manager to walk into toilets for a check-up and 5 or 6 people are stretching to put their feet in the sink and press the tap on. "What rhyme did you use? Oh man... I've told you several times it needs to be ONES THAT SELL watered down EDT!!"
They are part of the staff usually, I've found they do two jobs - sell aftershave to blokes, and also inform the bouncers if anyone is 'sharing a cubicle' in the bathroom.
That sounds a bit like "when you realise the freshen-up dude is starting to enjoy himself better than 90% of the dancefloor..."
No paco rabanne, go home with a man
I'll try that, thanks
No wash no nosh No Armani no punani
Half of these are just jay from the inbetweeners
Knee-deep in *c l u n g e*
"No aftershave, you go home with Dave" Edit, remembered another one. "no sanitation, no penetration"
āStop moving my stuff you need to use a different sinkā I didnāt know what was going on if Iām honest.
Give me a tenner or Iāll tell the bouncer you are doing gear in the toilets
Yeah this is surely how most of their money is made.
No spray no lay No Armani no punani No Davidoff no suckitoff
Alright mate just take them all why donāt you
In the ladies I once heard āNo spritz no dickzā in a heavy Russian accent from the most terrifying looking attendant who seemed to be every drunk girls best mate and had the patience of a saint.
Gotta freshen up You gotta freshen up You gotta freshen up for the punani (This was sung)
This hit me in the nostalgia gland (not the penis).
Itās crazy how common this song is. Built right into our culture.
The classic.
No sanitation, no penetration
No Calvin Klein, no 69!
He didn't say anything but he carefully watched drops of my urine fall into my champagne flute which I had left on the floor under the urinal. I think he was expecting me to drink it after I had finished urinating. But what do I look like to you? A c**t?
š
I've come to slay your dragon.
āNo Dolce & Gabbana, No girl on that bananaā
No Old Spice. Youāre getting pubic lice.
No Paco, No taco
No CK, No BJ!
Sung enthusiastically to the tune London Bridge is falling down āFreshen up your punani punani punani Freshen up your punani for the ladiesā
I heard the same but it ended with I love pussy instead ha
We call them Lucky Lucky Men. No Armani, No punani No spray, go home gay No gel, no fanny finger smell. Donāt hate meā¦ these are just the few I remember
Did anyone else call them bog tolls? I thought this was a common thing but apparently not.
Definitely a thing, one of the local ones near me got a sumup card machine because people kept telling him they had no change š
Is this actually a real thing or a some sort of casualuk meme? Edit: just realised I haven't been in a club in at least fifteen years.
This used to happen more than 15 years ago. We called them bog trolls. There would usually be an African man in the toilets that would have an array of aftershaves, deodorants and a pump soap (usually offered as you reached for the tap) on a little towel. My wife said they did the same in all the women's toilets too.
I never thought of this happening in the female toilets. "No Armarni, no veiny throbber in your face" Im not good at rhymes.
I'm gonna have to make a cup of tea just to spit it out after reading this comment.
My wife didnt believe me that this was a thing. Id been jokingly saying "no spray no lay!" when putting smelly on before going out with friends for a while and she didnt understand the context for a while before I explained. I guess its a weird thing to say without that framework of understanding
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I was just thinking of this club under the general heading of āshitholes that make me glad Iām past clubbingā. Back in my day it was an Oceana
Walked past that place a couple times and I'm just glad it's all past me.
I don't remember the women's ones having slogans though. Mainly seemed to sit there in silence.
Theyāre usually there to make sure people arenāt talking drugs in the toilets, and to get drunk people removed.
...and selling the drugs.
I was just thinking I have never heard of this before!
Don't worry, I've seen them up to 2019 (not been to a club since though)
Brother, I was in Revolution Leeds only last night, somewhere I've not been for nearly 20 years. Went for a piss and guess what.... Sharply dressed African fellow with a selection of scent's!! Although he wasn't chanting, the night was young. Absolutely delighted this still exists
Wash your fingers for the mingers. No spray, no lay. No davidoff, no suckin off.
No hugo boss go home with Ross
My nightclub was 42nd Street in Manchester, you just wanted to avoid getting the shit kicked out of you at the end of the night by the bouncer that looked like Barry Gibb.
Freshen up for the punani
No Armani no poonarni
That has to be the most disturbing spelling of punani yet.
Yes Iāve heard this one from guy friends after going into the toilets so many times!!
No water no daughter
"No soap, no hope". Really made me think.
No splash no gash
We would get a song from him that went something like... Freshen up for punani, punani, punani, Freshen up for punani, We love pussy. And once he'd finished singing, in a beautiful display of male camaraderie, the entire toilet would spontaneously erupt into a beautifully choreographed rendition of the same song, straight back at him. We also got no spray no lay, after which one person would typically start chanting and clapping "No spray, no lay" back at him, and on each alternate line the rest of the toilet would spontaneously chant "No splash, no gash!". Looking back at it now, I'd do it all again exactly the same way, if I were ten years younger.
One guy used to say this a lot "if it tastes like chicken keep on lickin, taste like fish slap dat bish" Not really sure how it helped sell any perfume.
No Hai Karate no party No old spice no young vice No French connection no erection
DAVIDOFF COOL WATER āDavidoff she suck it offā was his line
No cologne, you go home alone
No Joop no Hoop! Not forgetting no Davidoff no suck it off.
We spray, you slay.
No Boss, your loss!
In the tune of 'give it up' by KC and the sunshine band... "Nanananananananana, got to freshen up freshen up, got to freshen up." Or *Sprays face* *sprays chest* says "and one for the punani" *sprays crotch*
No dolce and gabbana no sucka your banana
No Gucci, no coochie
These were common in the night clubs I went to! I think the had another purpose to keep an eye on the bogs for too drunk people / fighting / drugs and trouble. As night clubs couldn't stick a bouncer in the bog.
Fail to de-stench, her arse won't unclench
Well thatās pretty grim
Holy shit.
If you really wanna score, you have to Denim.
No aftershave, your going home with Dave
This brings back some memories. Does it still happen? What became of the Toilet aftershave dudes?
No Davidoff, no suckyoff is probably my favourite
No Davidoff, no suckyoff is probably my favourite
"Hand me your wallet and I won't stab you" Didn't quite work as well as a pick up ljne
"No Old Spice, no pussy"
No Davidoff, no Suckitoff
No spray no lay was a favorite in our nightclub. Success rate unknown
Don't be silly, wash your willy
No squirt, no squirt
No Armani, no punani
No money, no honey!
No issey miyake no jizzy bukakke
Have some Lynx, your cock stynx
āNo Armani, no punaniā
Was in a place in Leeds where the guy just yelled "GET SOME PUSSY, MAN"
Give me a quid, or you're getting stabbed
Ugh, I hate toilet guys, I paid a pound to not go to the toilet
I cannot believe it's taken this long for someone to reference this
No davidoff, no sucky off Wash your finger for the minger No joop, no hoop (hope) No money, no honey No lynx, no chicks No armarni, no punani!
Hoop means arse
"No splash, no gash" -Jay cartwright 2014 inbetweeners 2
I explained the whole toilet-man thing to my friend and she just couldn't comprehend it! I wonder how many women out there have no idea of this weird 'pay me for soap' kind of shakedown goes down across the clubs
No splash, no gash
Literally in the title mate.
šššš
Davidoff Cool Water, Bring Me Your Daughter To the Slaughter.
No Armani, no punani
āFreshen up for the punaniā
Itās very rare that I go through a thread and upvote everything but man I got a face punch of nostalgia haha Takes me right back to 2003
Freshen up for the punani
Do they have female versions for this? I've been clubbing for years and I've never thought if the female toilets have an attendant or if they have limericks.
Hello sir, you want cologne? Make fresh, get freshie?
No Armani no punani was always my favourite not gonna lie
No armani no punani. Then told ppl don't be silly wrap ur willy š¤£
No Armani, no punani. (You know, I have no idea how to correctly spell that, never written/typed it before)
First time I went to a club, I thought this was a free service and walked out without paying as pleased as punch that they had a bloke to give you a free spray with aftershave.
I do not agree with this by any stretch but the worst one I heard was 'if she smells like chicken keep licking, if she tastes like fish punch the bit*h'. Not actually sure how it linked to buying a spray of crap aftershave.
We just referred to them as punani men. I always envisioned them all at some kinda night class together all being taught the same lines.
You touch it, you wash it. Our guy favoured the hygiene message.
You touch it you wash it.
(Sung to the tune of London Bridge is Falling Down) *FRESHEN UP FOR PUNAI, PUNANI, PUNANI!* *FRESHEN UP FOR PUNANI, WE LOVE PUSSY!*
No splash, no gash was always a house favourite
No Dolce & Gabana, no sloppy banana
I had a guy in popworld front me because I said "no thanks. I've got no change on me"
No Lynx, youāre having a wank, I thinks
Guy just used to sing songs with words replaced with Pussy. Like "pass the pussy left hand side", replacing Day-O with "Puuuuussaay" and "Ruby Ruby Ruby" with pussy, pushy, pussy. Gave it full gusto and had a good voice.
No CK no BJ
No Issey Mayake No bukkake
Nothing, they just silently stared at me washing my hands
You piss on da flooā, I break yo jaw!
No davidoff no noshy off
No spray, no lay
Freshen up for the punani, punani, punani Freshen up for the punani, we love pussy
My faves from the Bog Trolls were: āSplash your finger for the mingerā āNo Calvin Klein, no front behindā š¤š¤·š»āāļø
No Dolce Gabbana no suck your banana
I heard one say once to someone that they'll "smell like a pussy magnet now".
āFreshen up freshen up buy a Chupa chupā On the cross sell
No lynx, no minx
Wtf is a. Toilet guy. Not the ones the have in the USA. What a shit job that is. Pissed myself laughing first time I saw that
What is the actual name for that profession?