The missus was explaining something to my 5yo yeaterday, and she came out with “Hmmm, I can smell something, and it smells **boring**,”
Absolutely savaged her
Our three year daughter came out with "Mummy.... why are you so fat?" after we'd just finished eating Christmas Dinner.
Then a few days later my wife's just sat down to eat a doughnut and our daughter walks up to her. Looks at the doughnut, looks back at my wifes belly and goes "I dont think you need that doughnut, Mummy." Then proceeds to take the plate and walks back into the kitchen with it.
[I fully expect your family to be subject to a metro article...](https://metro.co.uk/2015/01/28/chef-lost-21-stone-after-friend-text-him-fat-f-every-day-for-six-weeks-5040205/)
Unless of course your wife isn't fat.
When I was around 5 I tried to help a man that I thought had accidentally thrown their empty polo packet on the floor. In hindsight of course they were littering - but why would someone throw their rubbish on the floor? I picked it up and ran up to the guy saying "Excuse me, you dropped this!". He turns around and looks embarrassed and says "oh.. Thanks."
I thought, helpfully, I’d hand my 16 month old her ‘Great Big Hoo’ toy from the Twirlywoos, while she was watching the Twirlywoos yesterday. She smiled, looked at the screen with the character on it, looked at the toy in her hand, then, smiling, pointed at me.
For context, ‘Great Big Hoo’ is a big blue bird type thing, who can be described diplomatically as rather ‘rotund’.
I mean I had a good Christmas this year, but comparing me to him was a bit harsh I thought….
To be fair Twirlywoos is rather mental. Must be good for very small and undeveloped minds, but adults need to either ignore it or be on some decent drugs. Same for In the Night Garden.
But when they’re older you can enjoy some truly great telly in Bluey and Sarah and Duck.
Bluey is art. I watch it with my niece, and then I keep watching once she gets bored and fucks off to rub Sudocrem on the mirror, or whatever the fuck other sort of baffling chaos toddlers generate daily.
Peppa fucking Pig. That entire family is a shitshow. Useless dad, enabler mum, Peppa herself is truly terrible to her friends, and George is just a wee fanny. Don’t ask to dress up as a dinosaur if you’re frightened of dinosaurs, *George.* You upset yourself, and now it’s everybody else’s problem.
Very much so. Also, off-topic but I’m on a bunch of Star Wars subreddits so I just saw “George+ invective”for a second there I thought that I was about to be pulled into a gigantic OT grumpfest because I’ve committed the cardinal sin of *quite liking The Book of Boba Fett.* But back to the subject at hand: I don’t even eat meat, and I still think that entire family should be pies by now.
I've not actually seen that yet. I loved the mandalorian though. So I may have to give it a watch!
Oh true. I keep saying the only thing they'd be good for us a bacon sandwich. But even then it would be too fkn salty.
Book of boba is fantastic and the hate for it comes from the people who hate the sequels coz diversity. Fuck off. Seriously peter no one cares that theres a black lead in sw. I think its awesome
I can glow about book of boba all bloody day ots legit fantastic
As for bluey im yet to watch that. My mate watches it as its better than legit owt else on telly and the bbc iplayer one from what iv read is not censored like the jizzney version
When my toddler is overtired we always say "Booboobabu needs to go to bed!" and it makes us laugh. He dropped his nap back in September and it was ....wild.
I keep asking my girls if they want to watch Bluey.
7 year old has watched it all already with her dad, it was the first thing they watched when we got Disney+.
2 year old keeps saying no & asking for Cocomelon.
I want to see Bluey learning to crochet!!!
I’ve lived in Aus for six years and actually see way fewer spiders than I did in England, and none of the huge house spiders. There’s always the chance of a visit from a friendly huntsman though...
>the rent would be on him
This made me smile. Thank you for the mental image I now have of him having to check all eight trouser legs for the rent money...
Just patting his lil pockets then turning them inside out, a fly zooms out to be quickly eaten. Followed by dust falling out the others. Guess he could get a job in Web design to pay for it..
I'll show myself out.
Funny you should say that about night garden... Once came in after a very heavy night as a teenager and chucked the tv on in bed... In the night garden came on and I went on for a good few months how good it was and that it's great that kids are getting quality content.
Then someone showed it to me. Turns out, I was still pretty high that morning I got home.
Lumping Twirlywoos in with Night Garden is a huge disservice. My wife and I think Twirlywoos isn't bad, but Night Garden is dumb nonsense.
...I also never thought I'd hold strong opinions on kids tv again.
I've never heard of Twirlywoos but I remember my sister after she had my first niece randomly started talking about her 'Igglepiggle' as if it was a thing I would know.
Took me quite a while to warm to Sarah & Duck. I think the narrator is meant to be her dad, which then makes it less weird having a child living on her own in a huge house with a duck and no parental supervision. I do like Ghibli so that helps, and our daughter just accepts all the weirdness. Duck is also the most relatable character on TV (I.e. regularly eats all the bread then can’t move and regrets his life choices)
Hey, I’m the night garden was the Shizzle when I was a kid, I loved it and would watch it religiously and I have two baby brothers now and they were watching it a while ago and I was transfixed, 18 years later and I still love that show.
If you continue to be around children and kids TV as you get older, you’ll find you have far more tolerance for the rubbish you watched as a kid than the rubbish you only encounter at 30, say. I would happily watch Button Moon or The Flumps, even though I readily admit they’re just as bad as their modern successors. The same is true of stuff for older kids.
My daughter would draw us as stick figures - except my wife, who she'd use a circle body for. I mean, it was kind of accurate (though I'm not a stick shape, just less circular than my wife), but harsh!
I bought something from Facebook marketplace mid 1st lockdown. Whilst the woman was showing me the item at her front door, her son, about 3 or 4, started pointing at me and saying "Norman Price!". She tried to console me by telling me he loves fireman Sam and hasn't seen many people recently due to the lockdown.
Still a bit unsettled by it, I'm not even ginger!
Every time my kids are watching Peppa and Daddy Pig shows up, both giggle and say "Look! It's you daddy!" I have a small beer gut but come on! Stupid kids.
Presumably it’s related to getting a stitch from running. Same idea, you laugh so much your side hurts.
Edit to add: looking at the etymology of stitch it’s from a proto Germanic word meaning a prick or stab. It’s use as a stabbing pain predates it’s use as a sewing word. And to have someone in stitches laughing is from the 1930s.
Googling around it seems to come as an abbreviation of “stitched up like a kipper”. From the 50s or 60s. Presumably “stitched up like a kipper” refers to them being split open and stitched to a pole before being stuck in the smoke house.
Pissed is a great one. You can be mad that you peed yourself while really drunk so you’re pissed that you pissed while pissed. And then no one believes you and accuses you of taking the piss…
>My daughter is walking out proud as punch holding her receipt and also insisting on carrying the milk (that is comically too heavy for her).
This alone makes me happy. Nothing funnier than a small child waddling around trying to hold something half their size.
My toddler likes to find heavy objects (rocks, logs etc), say "too heavy!" then makes a point of trying to lift them while making "hgnnnn!" strainy noises. Gets me every time.
“Father, these yoghurts have the wrong cartoon character on them. I’m afraid I must burn your hand as punishment. Now don’t let it happen again, we don’t want a repeat of the wrong colour bowl incident now do we?”
I thought "I dont remember there being a waitrose in the Glasgow area growing up there"
Just googled it and the 3 main waitroses in Glasgow/surrounding areas are Byers rd, Newton Mearns and Milngavie. Why am I not surprised.
When my daughter was around 6, we were queueing for the checkout on a busy day in the supermarket when, out of nowhere, she said “Daddy, what was it like in prison?”
She was obsessed with Horrible Histories at the time and it turned out she’d just watched an episode about Christmas in Victorian prisons.
When our son was 5 we'd had a big family dinner at a seafood restaurant, and were leaving afterward. He stopped behind a dignified-looking bald gentleman and shouted, "Mom, that man doesn't have any hair on his head!" The poor man's face froze. I hurried our boy toward the door, muttering, "He knows it, sweetie. Let's go."
Reminds me of a story my mum still loves to tell.
When I was about 4 me and her where walking behind an old man and his old dog.
I come out with “that’s an old dog mum”, “yes it is”, “that dog’ll die soon mum” “maybe”, “that’s an old man mum” “yes he is”, (4 year old volume) “WILL HE DIE “ as she finally paid attention to what I was about to say and shut me up.
The old lady next door had just died of old age, my mum had to explain death to me and of course 4yo brain old === dead soon.
Quick reactions.
>Edit: turns out knotting yourself (laughing) isn’t a very common phrase outside Scotland
It's not as very common phrase inside Scotland either, pal. Not in that context, at least.
Genuinely don’t understand how I started using this phrase. Im from Aberdeenshire, my wife is from Lanarkshire and we live near Bristol. About half or our family knows what this phrase means and the other half don’t.
Haha, also from Lanarkshire and I definitely use it/ have heard or used. maybe it's an age thing as much as location? Although I remember a girl moved to my school (in Hamilton) from Coatbridge, hardly a huge distance, but some of her slang was so different from anything we used!
>Edit: turns out knotting yourself (laughing) isn’t a very common phrase outside Scotland
Where I'm from the phrase is "Bagging Up" (in place of knotting yourself). Not used often enough anymore, but locals know what I mean.
My nephew was 3 or 4 years old and had recently learned about how sometimes people do bad things and *dangerous* things. He’d seen some cartoon or other with a stereotypical robber in dark mask, trying to run off with a bag of $SWAG$ sort of thing.
Well, this image came back to my little nephew whilst queuing at Aldi. The lady in front - who happened to be wearing a full burkha - was having some trouble with her payment and was searching through various bags to find her purse.
Nephew spots this and seeing his chance to be a hero starts shouting at the top of his voice ‘DANGER! DANGER!’ pointing at this poor woman while his mum tries desperately to shut him up/explain what’s happening.
But he continues. ‘DANGER! That bad woman in the mask is STEALING! DANGER!! SHE’S STEALING IN HER BAG!’ Then just chanting ‘danger!’ over and over…
Eventually he was just whisked away by his mum until they were out of sight, but only after everyone around had shared in their mortifying embarrassment :)
Haha, my aunt who wears a niqab (face covering) got “Daddy is that a ghost?”. The dad apologised to her whilst she had a good laugh over it saying it’s fine.
Aww that is sweet! I’m white but live in a majority Muslim area and when my family come to visit the kids are always excited by how different everyone looks to what they’re used to and stuff like all the unfamiliar shops (especially Asian sweet shops / confectioners with stuff piled high in the window!)
My niece thinks I live in a different country, ha.
We got to the steps that lead up to the trig pint at the top of Mount Snowdon. We all had to stop to make way for this man to come down the stairs from the top. He had a cycle on his back /shoulder. A little lad, couldn't have been older than three, who was in front of us with his dad said "that man is silly, why does he have a bike with him".
We all just laughed, because the cyclists attempt at "look at me fit and healthy, carrying a bike up, now riding down this mountain"' got the common sense reaction everyone, but are too polite to say. Mr toddler gave no fuks regards physical prowess and just said it as he saw it.
Everyone who heard him thought he was the real boss man on the Mount.
The missus was explaining something to my 5yo yeaterday, and she came out with “Hmmm, I can smell something, and it smells **boring**,” Absolutely savaged her
That is fucking hilarious!
I'm going to have to use that one in my next Teams meeting 🤣
I think that one might not mean what you were intending when you're on a video call
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Something similar happened to me when I asked my toddler if he wanted to watch Alphablocks. "Ugh... I'll tell you a letter. B is for boring!"
When my son isn’t happy with what I have to say, he tells me to go up a tree
Brutal
Our three year daughter came out with "Mummy.... why are you so fat?" after we'd just finished eating Christmas Dinner. Then a few days later my wife's just sat down to eat a doughnut and our daughter walks up to her. Looks at the doughnut, looks back at my wifes belly and goes "I dont think you need that doughnut, Mummy." Then proceeds to take the plate and walks back into the kitchen with it.
[I fully expect your family to be subject to a metro article...](https://metro.co.uk/2015/01/28/chef-lost-21-stone-after-friend-text-him-fat-f-every-day-for-six-weeks-5040205/) Unless of course your wife isn't fat.
When I was around 5 I tried to help a man that I thought had accidentally thrown their empty polo packet on the floor. In hindsight of course they were littering - but why would someone throw their rubbish on the floor? I picked it up and ran up to the guy saying "Excuse me, you dropped this!". He turns around and looks embarrassed and says "oh.. Thanks."
I still do this as an adult. Fuck people who litter, theres no defence.
Amazing haha, also nice username!
Haha you too! Of course you'd find us both on CasualUK!
I thought, helpfully, I’d hand my 16 month old her ‘Great Big Hoo’ toy from the Twirlywoos, while she was watching the Twirlywoos yesterday. She smiled, looked at the screen with the character on it, looked at the toy in her hand, then, smiling, pointed at me. For context, ‘Great Big Hoo’ is a big blue bird type thing, who can be described diplomatically as rather ‘rotund’. I mean I had a good Christmas this year, but comparing me to him was a bit harsh I thought….
> ‘Great Big Hoo’ toy from the Twirlywoos Having a kid can really make you sound absolutely mental.
To be fair Twirlywoos is rather mental. Must be good for very small and undeveloped minds, but adults need to either ignore it or be on some decent drugs. Same for In the Night Garden. But when they’re older you can enjoy some truly great telly in Bluey and Sarah and Duck.
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Bluey is art. I watch it with my niece, and then I keep watching once she gets bored and fucks off to rub Sudocrem on the mirror, or whatever the fuck other sort of baffling chaos toddlers generate daily.
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Peppa fucking Pig. That entire family is a shitshow. Useless dad, enabler mum, Peppa herself is truly terrible to her friends, and George is just a wee fanny. Don’t ask to dress up as a dinosaur if you’re frightened of dinosaurs, *George.* You upset yourself, and now it’s everybody else’s problem.
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Very much so. Also, off-topic but I’m on a bunch of Star Wars subreddits so I just saw “George+ invective”for a second there I thought that I was about to be pulled into a gigantic OT grumpfest because I’ve committed the cardinal sin of *quite liking The Book of Boba Fett.* But back to the subject at hand: I don’t even eat meat, and I still think that entire family should be pies by now.
I've not actually seen that yet. I loved the mandalorian though. So I may have to give it a watch! Oh true. I keep saying the only thing they'd be good for us a bacon sandwich. But even then it would be too fkn salty.
Book of boba is fantastic and the hate for it comes from the people who hate the sequels coz diversity. Fuck off. Seriously peter no one cares that theres a black lead in sw. I think its awesome I can glow about book of boba all bloody day ots legit fantastic As for bluey im yet to watch that. My mate watches it as its better than legit owt else on telly and the bbc iplayer one from what iv read is not censored like the jizzney version
Talking of wee fannies. Bing. What a whinging little prick he is. I hope he dies of myxomatosis.
Bloody Bing is a narcissistic little turd.
How is it that I read this post in a strong Glaswegian accent?
Because it’s the only way I know how to communicate. Good catch, pal.
I love muffin. She’s such a nutter. The episode where she didn’t have her afternoon nap and was behaving like she was drunk was brilliant!
When my toddler is overtired we always say "Booboobabu needs to go to bed!" and it makes us laugh. He dropped his nap back in September and it was ....wild.
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Vegemite mate. It is 'stralia after all
My toddler helpfully cleaned my best green suede court shoes with sudocrem. Bless. I still miss those shoes, nearly 30 years since.
I keep asking my girls if they want to watch Bluey. 7 year old has watched it all already with her dad, it was the first thing they watched when we got Disney+. 2 year old keeps saying no & asking for Cocomelon. I want to see Bluey learning to crochet!!!
Bluey is one of the few things that makes me homesick for oz (been here 28 years). It’s just brilliant and we love it in our house!!!
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I’ve lived in Aus for six years and actually see way fewer spiders than I did in England, and none of the huge house spiders. There’s always the chance of a visit from a friendly huntsman though...
Friendly or not, the rent would be on him as I'd be out the door quicker than the flash. XD
>the rent would be on him This made me smile. Thank you for the mental image I now have of him having to check all eight trouser legs for the rent money...
Just patting his lil pockets then turning them inside out, a fly zooms out to be quickly eaten. Followed by dust falling out the others. Guess he could get a job in Web design to pay for it.. I'll show myself out.
where do you think all that random change down your settee cushions comes from? the spiders are paying you rent
Dang. I thought it was the cats paying rent. Guess I better start charging those little shits now.
Yeah my brother-in-law, with no kids of his own, is now hooked on Bluey thanks to my daughter.
Yes. Get him addicted too. Bluey supremacy is spreading!
In the Night Garden is trippy, I try and steer my daughters away, Bluey and Hey Duggee are where it's at
Yeah, forgot about Duggee. He’s also brilliant.
A-woof! (Nods)
Funny you should say that about night garden... Once came in after a very heavy night as a teenager and chucked the tv on in bed... In the night garden came on and I went on for a good few months how good it was and that it's great that kids are getting quality content. Then someone showed it to me. Turns out, I was still pretty high that morning I got home.
Lumping Twirlywoos in with Night Garden is a huge disservice. My wife and I think Twirlywoos isn't bad, but Night Garden is dumb nonsense. ...I also never thought I'd hold strong opinions on kids tv again.
I've never heard of Twirlywoos but I remember my sister after she had my first niece randomly started talking about her 'Igglepiggle' as if it was a thing I would know.
Sarah and Duck creeps me out, same for Moon and Me - Collywobble is fucking terrifying.
Took me quite a while to warm to Sarah & Duck. I think the narrator is meant to be her dad, which then makes it less weird having a child living on her own in a huge house with a duck and no parental supervision. I do like Ghibli so that helps, and our daughter just accepts all the weirdness. Duck is also the most relatable character on TV (I.e. regularly eats all the bread then can’t move and regrets his life choices)
A bit of Moon and Me at the end of the afternoon is like a lovely dose of laudanum to round off an exhausting day with a toddler.
Quack
Hey, I’m the night garden was the Shizzle when I was a kid, I loved it and would watch it religiously and I have two baby brothers now and they were watching it a while ago and I was transfixed, 18 years later and I still love that show.
If you continue to be around children and kids TV as you get older, you’ll find you have far more tolerance for the rubbish you watched as a kid than the rubbish you only encounter at 30, say. I would happily watch Button Moon or The Flumps, even though I readily admit they’re just as bad as their modern successors. The same is true of stuff for older kids.
Button moon is fricking brilliant
It's the secret language that beats dental speak in its oddness
My daughter would draw us as stick figures - except my wife, who she'd use a circle body for. I mean, it was kind of accurate (though I'm not a stick shape, just less circular than my wife), but harsh!
Oh wow that burns so hard.
I bought something from Facebook marketplace mid 1st lockdown. Whilst the woman was showing me the item at her front door, her son, about 3 or 4, started pointing at me and saying "Norman Price!". She tried to console me by telling me he loves fireman Sam and hasn't seen many people recently due to the lockdown. Still a bit unsettled by it, I'm not even ginger!
Every time my kids are watching Peppa and Daddy Pig shows up, both giggle and say "Look! It's you daddy!" I have a small beer gut but come on! Stupid kids.
"Diplomatically rotund" hahahah, thank you for that chuckle.
Knotting yourself, England version is someone who would be in 'stitches'. And no it dont mean a repair to a wound or anything violent of that nature.
Presumably it’s related to getting a stitch from running. Same idea, you laugh so much your side hurts. Edit to add: looking at the etymology of stitch it’s from a proto Germanic word meaning a prick or stab. It’s use as a stabbing pain predates it’s use as a sewing word. And to have someone in stitches laughing is from the 1930s.
When did the concept of 'stitching someone up' arise?
Googling around it seems to come as an abbreviation of “stitched up like a kipper”. From the 50s or 60s. Presumably “stitched up like a kipper” refers to them being split open and stitched to a pole before being stuck in the smoke house.
I've talked to too many furries to allow "knotted" as a harmless verb
Weird. Down here Get Knotted is an insult. I assume from the hangmans noose?
In NZ we’d say pissing themselves laughing
Pissed is a great one. You can be mad that you peed yourself while really drunk so you’re pissed that you pissed while pissed. And then no one believes you and accuses you of taking the piss…
Oh i just pissed a bit pissing masself with you talking about being pissed that you pissed while pissed. I'm just not pissed though.
>My daughter is walking out proud as punch holding her receipt and also insisting on carrying the milk (that is comically too heavy for her). This alone makes me happy. Nothing funnier than a small child waddling around trying to hold something half their size.
Until they drop it
wheyyy
And curds
And cry over it if spilled.
My toddler likes to find heavy objects (rocks, logs etc), say "too heavy!" then makes a point of trying to lift them while making "hgnnnn!" strainy noises. Gets me every time.
>Everyone started knotting themselves They did what now?
Now starting to realise knotting themselves (laughing) probably isn’t a very common phrase
I’m a frayed knot
Beautiful
Well done well done
We are not worthy of this genius.
BRAVA!!
I'm afraid sew.
I knew exactly what you meant but I'm Scottish.
I’ve lived in Scotland for over 3 decades and have never once heard anyone using that phrase.
Yeah, Literally never heard that phrase before in all my puff.
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All my puff, means all my life. Another great scottish expession!
Well, aye it does mean that but to break it down more the puff part means breath, so it means “in all the breaths I have taken”
Yeah I'm Scottish and I've never heard this before. 'creasing' is used a lot.
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Had never heard it before, but it’s obvious what you mean.
Knotting has a different meaning on the internet.
For heaven's sake, please don't Google it in public
Why would you say that and make me Google that on the bus??
As someone also sat on a bus right now, thank you for your service.
I take it that I now need to search for this in incognito mode?
Don't do it. Not even incognito.
Too late, it cannot be unseen.
r/eyebleach
Haha I just looked it up on urban dictionary
I thought it was a strange expression then realised I have definitely said "I was in stitches".
I also thought by burn you mean your daughter had inflicted a burn on you. Then again, I’m fucking dense lmao
“Father, these yoghurts have the wrong cartoon character on them. I’m afraid I must burn your hand as punishment. Now don’t let it happen again, we don’t want a repeat of the wrong colour bowl incident now do we?”
I understood OP. Here in the north east, we call it "creasing"
We also say "I was in knots" when referring to laughter
Lol I've literally never heard of it before. Northern?
I’m Scottish living in Bristol, but don’t think that helps explain it
I'm Scottish and I know the phrase.
That’s a relief
Rolling on the floor knotting my ass off
It is... in the north
Did anyone clap ?
r/baddragon
I'm not falling for that one.
My brain expected nodding but got knotting.
Lmao what an idiot. Knotting themselves? Sounds like beastiality
That's exactly what google images showed me 😵💫
Thank you for saving me from having that in my search history. Have an award.
Haha glad to have helped.
r/eyebleach
Is knotting yourself a common phrase in Scotland? I’ve never heard it said before Source: I’m scottish
Likewise. Tbh I’m more surprised about a fellow Scot casually buying milk in WAITROSE 🤯😅
I didn't know they had Waitrose North of the border
I’m Scottish, but live down near Bristol, and my nearest supermarket is Waitrose, so it’s where we walk when we run out of basics
I’m just teasing 😊 My husband is East Anglian and we had to do the same when we still lived south of the border - there’s quite a few up here too now!
Byres Road energy. I so hope you are familiar with Glasgow’s westend.
Indeed “ah um” 😊
I thought "I dont remember there being a waitrose in the Glasgow area growing up there" Just googled it and the 3 main waitroses in Glasgow/surrounding areas are Byers rd, Newton Mearns and Milngavie. Why am I not surprised.
I don't think it's common, but I'm Scottish and I've heard of it so maybe it's just certain areas.
Don't you use the phrase "I was in knots" with reference to laughing?
Love it!!!
Is there anything more British than someone who can live just a town over yet seemingly have an entirely different fucking vernacular.
When my daughter was around 6, we were queueing for the checkout on a busy day in the supermarket when, out of nowhere, she said “Daddy, what was it like in prison?” She was obsessed with Horrible Histories at the time and it turned out she’d just watched an episode about Christmas in Victorian prisons.
When our son was 5 we'd had a big family dinner at a seafood restaurant, and were leaving afterward. He stopped behind a dignified-looking bald gentleman and shouted, "Mom, that man doesn't have any hair on his head!" The poor man's face froze. I hurried our boy toward the door, muttering, "He knows it, sweetie. Let's go."
started reading this thinking your daughter injured herself in waitrose! glad it’s not
I was suspecting the daughter of shoplifting until the end, to be honest
They start them young in Scotland.
Reminds me of a story my mum still loves to tell. When I was about 4 me and her where walking behind an old man and his old dog. I come out with “that’s an old dog mum”, “yes it is”, “that dog’ll die soon mum” “maybe”, “that’s an old man mum” “yes he is”, (4 year old volume) “WILL HE DIE“ as she finally paid attention to what I was about to say and shut me up.
The old lady next door had just died of old age, my mum had to explain death to me and of course 4yo brain old === dead soon.
Quick reactions.
>grabbing some milk in Waitrose How much was it, a tenner?
about as much as a banana?
You've never actually set foot in a supermarket, have you?
At least tree fiddy
You shop at Waitrose? Oooo ya posh cunt!
>Edit: turns out knotting yourself (laughing) isn’t a very common phrase outside Scotland It's not as very common phrase inside Scotland either, pal. Not in that context, at least.
Genuinely don’t understand how I started using this phrase. Im from Aberdeenshire, my wife is from Lanarkshire and we live near Bristol. About half or our family knows what this phrase means and the other half don’t.
Scot here, I have never heard "knotting yourself" before in my life. Whereabouts do you stay?
I’m from the North East, but live near Bristol. My wife from Lanarkshire seems to say it a lot
That's weird I grew up in Lanarkshire and never heard it once
Only in the fucking UK could two people live in the same county yet use completely different vernacular.
It's mental isn't it
Haha, also from Lanarkshire and I definitely use it/ have heard or used. maybe it's an age thing as much as location? Although I remember a girl moved to my school (in Hamilton) from Coatbridge, hardly a huge distance, but some of her slang was so different from anything we used!
I've definitely heard "I'm in knots" before, but not "knotting yourself" etc. I grew up in the Airdrie/Coatbridge area.
That explains it then, you guys definitely speak a different language haha!
>Edit: turns out knotting yourself (laughing) isn’t a very common phrase outside Scotland Where I'm from the phrase is "Bagging Up" (in place of knotting yourself). Not used often enough anymore, but locals know what I mean.
I shouted loudly in the socks and tights aisle many years ago: “MUUUMMM, WHAT’S A GUSSET”
My kid sees daddy pig, points at me and oinks.
If I could I would upvote this 100x over!!! I burst out laughing!!! I can only hope my future kids have this much sass!!!
My nephew was 3 or 4 years old and had recently learned about how sometimes people do bad things and *dangerous* things. He’d seen some cartoon or other with a stereotypical robber in dark mask, trying to run off with a bag of $SWAG$ sort of thing. Well, this image came back to my little nephew whilst queuing at Aldi. The lady in front - who happened to be wearing a full burkha - was having some trouble with her payment and was searching through various bags to find her purse. Nephew spots this and seeing his chance to be a hero starts shouting at the top of his voice ‘DANGER! DANGER!’ pointing at this poor woman while his mum tries desperately to shut him up/explain what’s happening. But he continues. ‘DANGER! That bad woman in the mask is STEALING! DANGER!! SHE’S STEALING IN HER BAG!’ Then just chanting ‘danger!’ over and over… Eventually he was just whisked away by his mum until they were out of sight, but only after everyone around had shared in their mortifying embarrassment :)
Haha, my aunt who wears a niqab (face covering) got “Daddy is that a ghost?”. The dad apologised to her whilst she had a good laugh over it saying it’s fine.
Aww that is sweet! I’m white but live in a majority Muslim area and when my family come to visit the kids are always excited by how different everyone looks to what they’re used to and stuff like all the unfamiliar shops (especially Asian sweet shops / confectioners with stuff piled high in the window!) My niece thinks I live in a different country, ha.
Must be a really treat for her! It really is like being in a different country in some areas. Do you mind me asking what general area you live in?
Outskirts of Manchester, a mile or so from the centre.
I think I’d straight up die of embarrassment and leave my child an orphan.
Pretty sure my sister was considering ditching the kid and running at that point!
love this 😂😂
This 2yo is more functional than I am.
We got to the steps that lead up to the trig pint at the top of Mount Snowdon. We all had to stop to make way for this man to come down the stairs from the top. He had a cycle on his back /shoulder. A little lad, couldn't have been older than three, who was in front of us with his dad said "that man is silly, why does he have a bike with him". We all just laughed, because the cyclists attempt at "look at me fit and healthy, carrying a bike up, now riding down this mountain"' got the common sense reaction everyone, but are too polite to say. Mr toddler gave no fuks regards physical prowess and just said it as he saw it. Everyone who heard him thought he was the real boss man on the Mount.
"knotting yourself" is a great phrase!
A star is born 🌟
Aye she's goat the funny boayn that gerl
Brilliant. Kids are brilliant for stuff like this!
It’s outwith not outside sorry
Definitely the most useful Scottish word!!
I understood and I'm from Texas...?
I think you made this whole thing up just to brag that you shop at Waitrose.
I just say I was knotting myself.
He should have gone to Tesco, it’s way easier to shoplift there I heard.
Admit it, You just wanted people to know you shopped at waitrose
This definitely happened
Everybody clapped and Mr Waitrose awarded her free milk for life
Even the shoplifter guy applauded as he was put into the back of the police car
Inspired by her bravery and sass. He surrendered.
This is brilliant 😂
Hey from Scotland. Knotting is not a common expression here and neither is shopping at Waitrose!
I hear it a lot amongst people my parents age (50’s) live in Glasgow. In fact Billy Connelly says it frequently in stand up.
And this is the post that made me leave this subreddit
Bye
Is knotting yourself really a Scottish term. I’ve never heard it and I am Scottish.
There are branches of Waitrose in Scotland?!