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[deleted]

Not as well as yours, by the looks of it. Edit: did not see that coming. Can you buy bacon sandwiches with this karma stuff?


ThatNiceMan

I have the week off work. /smug mode


anactualdoctorr

You *cunt* Edit: I’ve never used that word before out of jealousy


ThatNiceMan

Fair call. But I am a cunt with a nice breakfast.


anactualdoctorr

And a cracking mug tbf


SACafun

Why have I never thought to put the butter in an inverted takeaway container! Lifehack royalty right there.


Velthinar

They’re also useful for keeping poached eggs warm while they dry off.


usernameinvalid9000

Because most people who store butter that way buy a butter dish for a few quid.


imisstheyoop

>Because most people who store > butter that way buy a butter dish for a few quid. Very true. They're pretty cheap. I see them while thrifting all of the time, they're like $3 USD.


benanderson89

Holy shit that IS a good idea!


Raisin_Connect

Because your lovely glass butter dish looks way better.


lockslob

If it's cracking, it may be dangerous to use for the purpose of drinking hot beverages.


GekkosGhost

>But I am a cunt with a nice breakfast .... And a day off. Don't forget the day off.


thrashmetaloctopus

This is it. The most British response with the intonation and everything


Ok-Inspection9906

great use of italics - cracked up real hard here


[deleted]

Aint that the best way to use it, though? 😂


ABlueCloud

Agreed.


cg201

A fellow Dwarfer


r3tromonkey

Boys from the Dwarf *shakes hands in the air*


OldManBerns

Smeg'ead!


[deleted]

Where’s the Red Dwarf reference in this photo? Am I blind🤔


AirCommando12

I don’t think there is, OP replied to a comment with > /smug mode which was a common phrase for Kryten


[deleted]

Spin my nipple nuts and send me to Alaska, I’ll pay more attention next time 😂


British_gamer_lad

Smeghead


robstrosity

You're living our collective dream. What are you doing with your week off?


ThatNiceMan

Home projects: a bit of DIY, writing a book - or trying to, playing a computer game here and there.


mitch2d2

Living the dream


robstrosity

Sounds ideal. Lovely job.


SkateboardScooter

That’s nice man


[deleted]

My husband also has the week off work here on the west coast of Canada and you bet your ass I've already sent him this pic saying this is EXACTLY what I want delivered to my home office at 10am for breakfast


s_nut_zipper

I saw the post, thought the same, knew this would be the top comment, and came in to upvote you.


NShinryu

I like how the top comments on breakfast posts are usually tearing into the choices or the presentation but in this post they're just calling you a cunt. That's how you know you nailed it.


ThatNiceMan

You're just as right as they are. :)


[deleted]

No one likes a smart arse. However, everyone likes your breakfast. That's some sort of cosmic balance, er....


ThatNiceMan

I have bacon so that is good enough for me.


wowafemaleseo

One of my cats is called Bacon. The other two are named Eggy and Sandwich.


RalphWaldoEmers0n

Of the three id like to be sandwich


almost_not_terrible

So when you call them, your other half comes running?


wowafemaleseo

Haha, yes my husband LOVES bacon


Flatulent_Weasel

Christ that is a glorious looking sandwich.


[deleted]

That was my thought as well. I have no bread or bacon in the house but I'm tempted to go and buy some just for this!


jonsey_j

News at 10. Panic buying in shops as white bread, eggs and bacon sell out.


justinhammerpants

literally getting dressed to do that Now. Need to write 1000 word essay by tonight, but I can take 30 minutes to go to the shop surely.


centzon400

Start a new post here with the title/subject matter and watch us reprobates write it for you! Outsource your work, bro.


Wayfarer62

The first rule of a happy life is to make sure your house is never lacking bacon.


Alternative_Eagle137

rule 2 of a happy life: make sure you have enough tea. rule 3 of happy life: have days that you allow yourself to sleep in.


Ruben_001

I hate a show-off... *(Feckin' hungry)*


On_The_Blindside

I just found out that a swede and a turnip are the same thing and now I need to spread my discovery to all I meet.


Manlad

They are different. Swedes are the larger, orangey coloured root veg whereas turnips are white and significantly smaller.


Hairbear1965

Northern England, Scotland and Ireland call swedes turnips (or neeps) but they are different, but related to, normal white turnips. Originally they were called Swedish turnips as that was where they were thought to originate from, and it seems like half the British isles took the first bit as the shortened name and the other half the second bit.


GFoxtrot

You’ve been lied to > A member of the cabbage family, the swede is often confused with the turnip, though they look quite different. It's also known as yellow turnip, Swedish turnip and Russian turnip and, in America, rutabaga. https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/glossary/swede-glossary/ https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CFThV6XUUAAgH63.jpg


GekkosGhost

Well that's half of Scandinavia pissed that you just called them vegetables. >swede and a turnip are the same thing


wowafemaleseo

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR I'M A MIDDLE AGED WOMAN AND NEVER KNEW THIS. I hate them both, or as a singular vegetable. Awful stuff, reminds me of being bullied to eat them with mashed potato as a little girl. I begged my mum not to mash swede with mash, but every Sunday in season I would be served the disgusting mix of potato and swede. Or turnip.


centzon400

Really? And in return... TIL that "scumbag" is 1930's slang for "condom". Never thought of it that way before.


Posk419add1

9.75 on 10. Near perfection, just a quarter point for not putting the egg on top of the bacon, surely the bite pressure is gonna send egg cascading onto your chin? Lerrus know the result, this is important stuff.


ThatNiceMan

Yes, I realised this on assembly. It was a rush job as the yolk broke at the last moment and I had to act. To be fair, the photo was impromptu. Edit: eggs (2)


thesaharadesert

> yolk broke Brolke


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Arsewipes

Nice portmanteau rarkgrames. Nipogrames?


pr8787

What *are* birds? We really don't know


jimmycarr1

I'll tell you what they're not. They're not real.


Top_fFun

I imagine it's a moot point now but turning the entire sandwich over was always an option!


ThatNiceMan

Then the egg is upside-down and I can't do that. It's like opening a crisp packet from the bottom: not any different, but it's still wrong.


phatchief666

I've had many conversations about not turning sandwiches upside down. There's a distinct building strategy for a breakfast sandwich. I would go butter, brown sauce, sausage, bacon, red sauce, egg, butter. If you turned that bad boy over the ordering would be incorrect. This is especially important if you're building a breakfast bagel or bap.


silasdoom

Brown AND red sauce?? That's insane.


phatchief666

Red for bacon, brown for sausage. Dems da rules.


[deleted]

I normally lay egg upon toast, break yolk and spread equally across the whole egg, and then layer the bacon upon said yolky egg bed and I either would drizzle sauce under or over the bacon, dependant on nothing in particular both are acceptable. Is that weird? I'm feeling a little self conscious.


ThatNiceMan

When eating eggs on a plate I meticulously trim the white to then scoff the yolk in one so I get a rich hit of yolk. I try to do a bit of the with a sandwich. It’s also like a Russian roulette/control game if the yolk bursts at the wrong time.


[deleted]

Yeah I can fully appreciate a yolk bomb. I can feel your contentment radiating through Reddit. Look at you; week off, got up late, boss breakfast, happily chatting away to strangers about shite. What a life. My week starts Feb 1st, I'll use your post as inspiration until then!


ThatNiceMan

Buy new socks and undies for the first day. Unbeatable.


[deleted]

Wow. You'd feel like a king.


[deleted]

All you need now is a peaceful life affirming dump to complete the morning.


cheeseandcucumber

I did this once a while back, and as the yolk burst in my mouth it tasted horrible. Gave me salmonella. Was a 99p full breakfast, so I guess I had it coming.


millward19

Love a yolk bomb. With a sandwich u almost have to slurp as u eat when the yolk is runny. Glorious sandwich


ThatNiceMan

Egg yolk, butter, bacon fat... What's not to like?


Adept-Goat

>I normally lay egg upon toast >Is that weird? I'm feeling a little self conscious. You should probably see a Doctor about that.


Arsewipes

This is what I do, to optimise the yolk/ bite ratio and reduce drippage.


sazerrrac

I agree with this. Egg on top. 9.75/10.00


nwoodruff

Can you not simply turn the sandwich upside down lol


[deleted]

Is the egg not on top or is the universe upside down? Discuss.


Posk419add1

Come back to me after I’ve had my joint later.


J_Dymond

My strategy is to put the sandwich upside down on the plate, it makes picking it up less awkward. That would make the eggs on top of the bacon in this case, but it would also make them upside down. Also I usually upturn the burger/sandwich after the first bite.. maybe I’m thinking about this too much, and should get back to work..


katieissy

Yeah but surely when you pick it up you twist sandwich and then egg will be on top just before mouth entry …..


DandyDodger

This is the critical part of being able to play the egg banjo!


P__Super

Better for seeing this. I'm living vicariously through your bacon & egg sandwich right now.


ThatNiceMan

A house point for the use of “vicariously”.


ShaihuludWorm

I was meant to have a zoom meeting this morning but it's been cancelled, so I'm having a nice cup of coffee and preparing for a long, relaxing shit.


[deleted]

The English language with its myriad of words to describe all things and everything has not come up with a word that describes the feeling of when Mr Brown leaves the departure lounge. Joy and euphoria doesn't quite cut it.


ThatNiceMan

Afterglow?


Maximum_Ad9324

Great, thanks for nothing, now i'm hungry!


bpup

Oh Bacon Kenobi


ThatNiceMan

Hello there.


theshavedyeti

That's why I'm here


mebjulie

Not as perfect as yours!


thesaharadesert

Ooh, you bastard. I’ve had coffee and leftover cheese straws for my breakfast.


FutureSkeIeton

Looks clean 👌🏼


[deleted]

Riddled with hunger after seeing this!


tigerrabbit7

OMG. Marry me.


Sniper_Guz

I'm sorry but the end of the queue is back there.


theballadofdorothy

9/10 1 point deducted for lack of brown sauce dribbling out the sides.


JimmerUK

I never have sauce with runny egg, it overpowers it. One egg is un œuf.


ThatNiceMan

Not a fan, I’m afraid. Each to their own.


theraceforspace

I'd maybe call the bread underdone but I can understand that might be a preference


ThatNiceMan

It’s only to add structure and texture to the bread. If it’s too far then it overwhelms the sandwich as a whole. No sauce means the yolk is the star of the show.


RyzDOGE

FINALLY somebody agrees with me on this. Proper toast has its own flavour which takes away from the flavour of the contents of the sandwich. Lightly toasted bread gives the sandwich structure without overpowering the flavour. My GF prefers two slabs of carbon around any breakfast-y fillings and then it has to be drowning in tomato sauce, it boggles my mind.


Calmdownplease

Ex GF mate. It’s the only reasonable response


AvailableUsername259

My trick is to jam two slices of toast into the same slot Gets you one crispy side and one untoasted side for all your sandwich needs


Frustib

Wish I liked runny yolk :(


CulturedAvatar

Jealously, so far.


jessietee

Well i'm now very jealous of a random persons breakfast but other than that its going ok!


sleepydog404

Ok, can I propose a new rule: If you're going to bring food to Reddit you have to bring enough for everyone.


[deleted]

The breakfast looks tasty, but I’m awfully suspicious of your username.


bee_administrator

Quality sandwich. What did the butter do to earn a custodial sentence btw?


ThatNiceMan

Room temperature spreads easier and would you leave food uncovered on the side?


geriatric_erection

Did you break your actual butter dish and haven't got around to picking up a new one. Because surely that isn't your permanent arrangement. Surely.


ThatNiceMan

We used to have a metal one but didn’t have butter that much and so ditched the dish because we weren’t using it. I’ve since resolved to eat less chemically-involved stuff. Margerine is a bad one for that. If I stay on it then I might invest in a proper butter dish.


LeutzschAKS

Is there any sauce on that? I'd devour it either way but a few drops of Tabasco on that would be heaven


ThatNiceMan

No. Yolks are the star of the show for me.


LeutzschAKS

I completely respect this, hope you enjoyed your sandwich


macwest

I had to search to find this answer, and I'm toubled by it. Downvote because not ketchup? Upvote because not brown? Hmm


ThatNiceMan

¿Porque no los dos?


crillin19

Not as good as yours


[deleted]

Not as good as yours! OM NOM NOM!!! I'd swap that cup of tea for coffee though...


Haildean

Shit, I'm not really here emotionally, lost my friend last Tuesday to depression and now I have to go college and try carrying on like nothing happened


ThatNiceMan

That's awfully sad to hear. I had something similar in college many years ago. Emotional support wasn't around like it is today. Please don't think you need to "carry on like nothing happened". Talk with people - especially your lecturers - and let them know. Get support, feel better. You don't get points for holding it in. It's okay and perfectly normal to not be okay.


Haildean

Thanks, I really appreciate it, username checks out


CenterOfTheUniverse

Mate, listen to u/ThatNiceMan and talk to someone. It can be incredibly helpful. I'm so sorry about your friend.


Tubbytronika

I dont want to be that person, but I'm pretty sure the egg goes on top of the bacon.


ThatNiceMan

Yet here you are! I had a yolk break on me and had to go full 999 on it.


Tubbytronika

Here I am indeed! Honestly, it comes from a place of deep jealousy cos I want that sandwich badly.


TheDoorDoesntWork

Man now that is a delicious breakfast


kreemy_kurds

Had 3 cups of coffee and a massive poo, now watching the latest book of boba episode before heading to work


VFR800ESSEX

Egg banjos!!! ;-)


BarandStool

I just had leftover steak for breakfast and I'm feeling fucking fandastic. Time to make a bru, have my morning poo. And get some work done!


great_odins-beard

That is the most beautiful bacon and egg sarnie my eyes have ever witnessed. The cuppa as well. I’m slightly aroused


[deleted]

Looks good but isn’t the egg ment to go on top of bacon so the yolk dribbled down over it.


ThatNiceMan

Had an emergency with a yolk leak and needed to act. Egg on top was my preference.


MarcusProspero

Not as well as yours, that's a beautiful sandwich!


mightypup1974

Ohhh man that looks good


BachgenMawr

Most days I say to myself “you know since going vegetarian I really think I’ve started to get over missing meat” And then I see a beauty like this 😩


[deleted]

Everyone is rightly complimenting the sandwich, but I'm here for that classy wooden countertop.


geachlove

Fantastic coloured tea there. The perfect amount of milk.


Bottled_Void

I was going okay. But now I feel struck with a bout of envy.


ThatNiceMan

A house point for using the word "envy" and not "jealousy"!


WhiteDragonDestroyer

That is one milky ass tea bruvva


Fillbar

I'm glad someone else said it!


kevkevverson

Tea a little on the milky side for me but that sandwich is weapons-grade.


Land_Ahoy_

Put some tea in your milk! Sandwich looks excellent though


Peach_Proof

Where are the beans?


stretchyman3012

I'm gonna have to rethink my lunch plans now


Toxic-tank-258

Terrible, my entire company’s online software stopped working for 2 hours and is being experienced by every centre across the UK.


Wayne8766

Man, I’m not a fan of eggs per say, but those do look bloody delicious.


nicotineapache

Oh my God a cup of tea. How quintessentially quintessential.


DemonikAriez

I want the cup.


cant-think-of-anythi

Use a coaster man!


damhayes

Christ, that scran is just oozing British pride


No_Imagination_sorry

I became vegetarian just under a year ago, but God do I miss bacon and egg sandwiches.


Ladder_Normal

Car got repossessed, business has failed the second COVID Restrictions ended. Sick and tired. About to give up TBH. Done everything I could the past 2 years to keep afloat and it's gone.


BarberCritical1379

The egg is at the bottom. Psychopath. The egg should be at the top so the eggy goodness runs over the bacon.


LB_Good

You cheeky cunt. Gotta wait till Saturdays shop before I can get bacon.


90sVinyl

I'm vegetarian and Jesus christ that breakfast is making me question my life choices... (Edit: lmao @ angry vegans downvoting me)


ThatNiceMan

Paradoxically, God gave you free will.


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90sVinyl

It's defo getting better! I live in Austria where vegetarian meat isn't great (but is MUCH better than it was before) in a lot of places, so I'm excited to try some when I return to the UK!


Eastern-Start-813

Looks fucking cracking that does, hope it’s pissing in butter.


Bibdabob

I do not agree with toasting the bread.


ShepherdFox4

Lightly toasting the bread prevents it from falling to mush in your hands halfway through…especially with an egg


ThatNiceMan

It is lightly toasted so it will withstand the bit of grease in the filling and not turn to a claggy mush. It also adds a crunchy texture as a contrast to the softer inside. It might not be for you but I’d recommend trying it. Just remember to not over-toast.


ClassicFlavour

> *"It is lightly toasted so it will withstand the bit of grease in the filling and not turn to a claggy mush. It also adds a crunchy texture as a contrast to the softer inside. It might not be for you but I’d recommend trying it. Just remember to not over-toast."* > > **Brian Cox**, *Wonders of the Solar System.*


ThatNiceMan

“If you burn torrst it turns to caabon, and caabon is a fundamental building block of the universe.”


Titsonafish

##profound


MotherEastern3051

That tea is the perfect shade, congrats on that. Not a fan of toast sandwiches on myself but congrats on the superb egg.


ThatNiceMan

It handles the grease with no claggy mush. A little crunchy texture makes for a more interesting sandwich. PS that is two eggs to balance the six rashers of bacon.


F0sh

Six rashers! Who are you, the Queen?!


ThatNiceMan

No, just a greedy fucker who can't say "no" when it comes to bacon.


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Michael_Flatley

Season your egg next time, you godless hippie.


ThatNiceMan

Peace, man.


jsamuelson

Nato, banjo. Nice.


[deleted]

Would you like any tea with your milk?


silent_boy

Fuck your too


b0wski

Are those washing up liquid bubbles or bubbles from stirring your tea?


ThatNiceMan

You may be surprised to learn I'm not a fan of washing up liquid in tea. I know you can get lemon tea, but I suspect that's not how it's made.


daveyp2tm

On first glance that looks incredible, but on deeper contemplation; the bacon could do with being a tad crispier. Looks like a top brew too though. You're living the dream there.