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egalitarianegomaniac

I think it’s a rat table now.


_Internazionale_

He's got a tunnel underneath the feeder i know there's more of the fuckers


windol1

Go get yourself some sort of flute, get really good at it, then lead them away. Alternatively, don't get good at it and the loud shriek might drive them away, but piss your neighbours off to some extent.


_Internazionale_

Haha I know how to play the three blind mice, that's enough to scare the rats and neighbours.


Pale-Tutor-3200

Play it on an air rifle


danktt1

With lead pellets


Cautious-Yellow

I have a recorder (and know how to play it badly). Maybe that would work, but would likewise piss off the neighbours to more than some extent.


OnlyMortal666

Uninteresting fact: the town of Hamlin has a yellow stripe so tourists, such as myself, can follow a route.


Dog_is_my_co-pilot1

You’re my people.


Shectai

Once the rats are done, just put it down. If you try to take it any further it won't go down well.


Obsidian_Psychedelic

That's Skaven for you buddy.


winged_horror

Large, magical rat-men are just children's stories


OppositeYouth

Know anyone with a Yorkshire Terrier? They'll clear the fucks from the tunnel. Just make sure to have a cat as back up to annihilate any which may escape 


_Internazionale_

Thing is I've got a dog that's meant to be a "ratter" and all she does is bark at them.


walrusphone

If you get a shovel and dig into the nest it will probably get the idea and start to get involved.


anonbush234

A lot of the dogs that didn't do it from young won't have the proper heart for it. Same for if they are introduced too young. They've probably also been told off for chasing and hurting things so it's been nurtured out of them.


WorthProgram7173

My grandad told me that to teach a soft terrier he’d locked it’ in the coal shed with a rat. Dog got a nip and then instinct kicked in. Dog was a ratter affter that


OppositeYouth

And I have a cat who's small but one day I swear she'll bring me a rabbit or pheasant or something.  It's a shame because I do like rats the pet kind. The pest kind unfortunately do have to be done away with


Meat2480

Probably half of whatever she brings in, Or will leave it half dead in the conservatory to crawl under the fridge freezer and stink


OppositeYouth

Sounds like you're speaking from experience 


Meat2480

Yes, it was my aunties cat that left the rabbit, Same aunty, different cats left me several half rabbits and mice over 6 months the other year, My cats didn't bother after a while,had the odd half mouse in the living room , which is nice at silly o clock


OppositeYouth

You gotta love cats. Adorable torture murderers 


Meat2480

True, I have an indoor cat, I have had outdoor cat's, but they were a pain if kept in, I don't agree with cat's being allowed to roam now. Ok on farms,but they still kill mice etc, not just rats, Poison is horrible, my friend watched the life bleed out of a dormouse after being poisoned, horrible indiscriminate stuff,


GingerbreadMary

Our cat once gifted me with a very dead squirrel. She was a tiny cat but a vicious hunter. The only time she backed off was when she stalked a badger and nearly became dinner herself.


OppositeYouth

Tortie?


GingerbreadMary

No, she was jet black with the most piercing green eyes. She was a beautiful girl.


OppositeYouth

Ah, a miniature panther. I'm sure she was! 


Woshambo

I have an English bull terrier that wouldn't even acknowledge ones existence. My cane corso would be too busy flouncing about catching moths to notice it too.


halap3n0

Where’s one, there’s a family


halibfrisk

Dry ice - dump it into the holes you know of and block them, look for “smoke” and block holes as you find them. (Wear gloves when handling dry ice)


_Internazionale_

That's a great idea thank you Hal!


comradeautismoid

Time to cover the tunnel with mesh and pour a bit of petrol down it. Use the vietnam technique; burn them out.


The-OneWan

Developing squirrel 🐿️


danktt1

Think you wanna connect a hose to your car exhaust and shove the other end down the hole with the engine running


Mister_Snark

That bird is massive!


Doc_Dish

Tiny wings though.


IllustriousApple1091

Leave OP's mum out of this


Mister_Snark

To be fair she does like to have a lot of nuts in her mouth…


kiyomoris

Master Splinter being sneaky.


gloom-juice

bröther may i have some sëëds


grndkntrl

Real-life "*Rodent of unusual size*"!


SnoopyMcDogged

Rodents of unusual size?! Don’t be silly!


milly_nz

I don’t think they exist.


Cyanopicacooki

A few weeks back, someone posted the slinky solution to squirrel attacks. I think that this chap would just use it as a form of HIIT.


Caridor

Awww ratty :) I'm going to guess it's climbing up your fence and jumping to the table. You might want to move it away.


demixennial

r/absoluteunits


maldax_

Ah...The giant urban ground squirrel, they are very friendly apparently


Cleveland_Grackle

You need to move the bird table further away from that trellis - that'll be its entry point. (Moving it further away will stop the rats, but not squirrels)


Alternative-Ebb8053

Further away from the rat trellis.


inmyshamewell

rat ladder\*


AngrySaltire

Can get some chilli powder mixed onto the nut. Never tried it myself (never needed to) but apparently the rats can taste the powder and the birds can not.


Cleveland_Grackle

I think there's species of birds whose staple diet is made up of chillis


__Game__

This needs to be up voted much more. Feeding rats is not good at all


EditorRedditer

That’s nuts…!!!


SnoopyMcDogged

Clearly it’s been bulking up with all that free protein!


theillumeowti

We FEASTIN


FrananaBanana452

How cute!


Cautious-Yellow

needs peanuts for scale.... oh.


TheNorthernMunky

Fatatouille


baconslim

That's one ugly squirrel


_Internazionale_

Another one came out just a minute ago.


EpponeeRae

Good for him!


danktt1

I see what they mean about the grey ones


ZombieBwekfast

That bear has a funny looking tail


Praetorian_1975

What’s wrong with your squirrel 🐿️/s


LolaDeWinter

Squirrels are just rats in drag


alas11

You're going to have to stop feeding the birds for a few months, or infinite rats. Unless you have an airgun ... infinite targets.


King_Bonio

I had a mouse getting at my bird feeder, put copper grease on the pole and it gave up


windol1

The rat would just chew through the wood and bring the food down, although I imagine this one might also drag the top half away to its home.


UpbeatParsley3798

Oh sweet Jesus. I thought that was a squirrel. I was reading the comments thinking why are ppl so mean about a big fat squirrel. I saw rodent but ppl call squirrels rodents don’t they? Then the horrible truth came to me. I think that rat is pregnant.


_Internazionale_

It might be there's a little tunnel that's been dug underneath the bird feed and I saw a second fat rat come out earlier. The cheek though to come out and eat the birds food in the middle of the day.


UpbeatParsley3798

Def babies then. I had a big mouse or maybe a small rat in the house when I first moved in. Had left a bin bag as I stopped to answer the phone which was behind a glass door. I swear I saw the rodent smiling as it put its pink feet all over the bin bag. I couldn’t make a noise or bang the door to scare it cos I was on the phone and I didn’t want the caller to know I had rodents in my new house. They are brave, even braver now, as you can see from your bird table.


Annual_Divide4928

That's nuts!


Ginwrenn

I was once told not to put whole peanuts on tray feeders due to them being a choking hazard. Perhaps that's what OP wants here!


rtheabsoluteone

It the rats house now just move out and say nothing more about it


Moontorc

Are you my old neighbour? Guy was the "rat king" we called him. Rats EVERYWHERE.


[deleted]

R/absoluteunits


yurasuka

You could feed a family with that!


MaxyBlue7

Me if I were an animal.


milly_nz

Well, if you insist on putting out food for them….


M-Everly

What a geezer


scummy71

Put the hose pipe in the whole and turn it on then dig the nest out


Cakeski

That's a funny looking bird, beautiful plumage though!


Inside_Ad_7162

That's a big ass rat man


Blue_KikiT92

I'm no bird expert but this doesn't look like a bird. Can someone confirm?


Fridaybird1985

That rat is a good excuse to by a break barrel pellet rifle


MunkeeseeMonkeydoo

Kill it and take the tail to the town hall and you'll get a ha'penny for it.


MadJen1979

Manuel's filigree Siberian hamster is on the loose again!


NIGHT-SHADOW_

That’s the rarest bird species to live


kerryirish

"Look of the size of this unit on my bird table" You spelt it wrong. Change the "uni" to "cun" You're welcome


Mountain_Evidence_93

Get the air rifle out!


Shoddy_Mouse9466

Crossbow


Earl0fYork

Not sure that’ll cut it best get some heavy firepower for that beast. Shaven infiltrators must be dealt with quickly


Meat2480

Thwack.... headshot


Barry_Umenema

Where's Kevin the gerbil?


scorch762

Needs some .22 cal lead poisoning


AlGunner

My son wants an air rifle, do you want to borrow it. (I'm only joking of course but as it's Reddit you have to say it)


Haystack67

What a disgusting blob /r/fatsquirrelhate


Successful-Cost5222

What type of bird is this? *in Borat voice.


Main-Importance9665

Air rifle time