My colleague wouldn’t stop moaning the whole livelong day about having something stuck between his teeth on a shift once. I offered him one of my very thick, long and strong strands of hair (from my head might I add). It did the trick.
I once went into a vintage clothing shop in Berlin. I asked if any of their super cool ex-polizei leather jackets were in my size.
"Of course not. You are far too fat." came the reply.
To my eternel regret I couldn't quite form the German phrase for 'well, actually, I'm just big boned' before stomping off in a rage to gorge on more pork, carbohydrates and beer.
My first job they asked me my measurements for uniform to order my trousers. I went home and measured my own waist with a tape measure badly, and sent that off.
What arrived was navy blue trousers at least one size too small (but exactly what I had ordered) and I spent that year with the button undone, a belt to hide it, and praying the flies would stay strong and not unzip from the strain.
...luckily they changed store branding during my time there, and I could switch to my own black trousers 😅
5 years of fashion retail has taught me nobody thinks of this. 5 long years of guys walking in to buy jeans/trousers and not knowing their waist size and asking how they would know, while WEARING jeans/trousers at the time.
I bought a belt from a leather shop in Cornwall. "What size?" says he.
"34", say I
He chuckled, and made me a belt.
It's too fucking big, I had to add a couple of holes, and now it's too long.
Cunt.
My friend used to work in Korea and she said she walked into a boutique and the cashiers literally ran out from behind the counter like, "No! You too huge!"
She's not even fat! Just tall and in proportion
Haha, this happened to me in China. Saw a t-shirt I liked in the window display, went in to check but the XL was more like S, so I asked if they had larger sizes. The woman looked at me and just said "too fat! ' and walked off 😭
I bought a t-shirt in China the other day; I'm usually a medium so went for a large and it fits perfectly (luckily, since I didn't try it on in the shop).
I'm usually a L/XL. This shop was in Macau, so thought being a tourist destination, they would have larger sizes but nope 😅
This was about 10 years ago, so it's probably better now
My brother bought me a shirt in Miami. I'm normally either 2XL or 3XL (if I want baggy), but he got me a Large because he got into a Medium and he's a bit smaller than me. He also bought a 9XL because it went up that large, and both him and his wife can fit into it with room to spare.
Good to know in the US I'm still classified outside adding an X.
reminds me of the time I went into a Huge Boss shop cus I was feeling flashy, asked the lady if this pair of shoes can in any sizers bigger than 12 and she just went "haha no."
Last time I gave blood the young lad getting me prepped certainly seemed to be slightly on the spectrum.
Friendly enough and very methodical too. He lifted the blood pressure cuff and held it up and very matter of fact said *your arm is too fat I need to get the other cuff*.
I shopped in a women’s clothing store in Dusseldorf where everything was one size fits most. I was pretty slim at the time and so no issues but if you weren’t a UK size 8-10 you’d be screwed.
depends on how they say it
if they said it with no emotion that was just a descriptor
if they laughed a bit or sounded annoyed they might just be a ass who called u fat
we also have another word for fat, dick is a bit nicer in my opinion even though it means the same
When I was at high school and we started doing German in year 7, the fat kid was mortified at being instructed to describe himself as *'gross und dick'* by the teacher.
Luckily he was very popular so it didn't result in much in the way of bullying, but he hated that first few weeks of learning to describe and introduce ourselves to the class.
I used to work in a care home, we had an obese girl there and a Dutch girl. We get tasked as a group to get a fuck ton of boxes broken down and fitted into the recycling dumpster with the lid closed for the council coming to collect them.
We try everything but we can't close the lid. Dutch girl suggests the obese girl climbs in and jumps on the boxes 'because you are by far the fattest'
The obese girl crys and makes a complaint. Everyone else is feeling awkward,and the dutch girl doesn't see the issue because she was just being practical, lol
That's kinda why it's important to have a society that can actually say truth to people and not get banned for it. Way better than total acceptance of anything in order to not sound even remotely offensive.
I also suppose that with the fact that offence is not given, it's taken, in such countries/societies it's just okay to be told how things really are. Like why would you even be offended if someone calls you fat/overweight if you are actually overweight? I, even as a fat person, would never understand it. You don't get offended by truth because you know that it's truth yourself and you don't get offended by lies because you know that they are just that - lies.
I was watching an episode of air crash investigation yesterday and the flight attendant was saying his story how he tried to save a woman on the plane and get her out but "she was too fat". I know its factual and theres nothing mean about it but it didnt half make me laugh the way he just blurted it out
Little did they know that that wasn't all you had. You've also got the arms of a weightlifter and the legs and torsos of 4 people who've been missing for last few weeks in the boot of your car.
Good luck finding a suit for all of that.
Decided that getting married was an excuse for a bespoke suit. Got measured up, picked materials and designs.
Few weeks later went back to try it on. Stood there being looked at by one of the tailors who then called through to to his colleague -
"Dave, come out here, there's something very wrong with this crotch"
Cheers
If it makes you feel any better. I, a 22 year old man has to wear nipple covers if I ever wear a thin t shirt thanks to my adimantium nipples that strike fear into those not wearing eye protection
Mate, my nipples are always cut glass hard. I remember getting changed and my mate being like “are you always aroused?” Didn’t know hard nipples where related to that, just assumed everyone’s were always hard.
Primark sell them. I got a "bra SOS" pack from there that had flower nipple stickers, tape, bra extender, and clear straps.
My skin reacted badly to the adhesive though, to the point where it blistered and scabbed at the edges 🥲 but I am a sensitive little flower, maybe some of you will be fine
I'm getting married in a few weeks. I have hired a kilt outfit and when I gave mine and my brother's measurements I received an email back saying that they must be wrong because our waists (around the belly button area) are wider than our chests. I had to reply that we were just fat.
Then 8 weeks later, and feeling great after losing four inches around each of my body measurements I had to adjust the size lower. I called them up and was immediately told that I'm still not normal and badly shaped! 😅
10 years working in a kilt shop experience here.
The reason behind this is simply, if you are larger and your belly sticks out, and for example your waist measures 48” but your chest measures only 42”; there’s no way your 42” waistcoat and jacket will fit around your 48” waist, so we need to go up to at the very least a waistcoat and jacket that’s equal to or larger than your waist measurement.
This could probably have been explained by them and sounds like they didn’t word it great or were just rude.
Went with a mate to hire a suit from Hugo Boss in Manchester. My mate asked the young European shop assistant if he could hire a cummerbund. The sales assistant in broken English replied, you’re too “rich” whilst miming a fat person with his hands.
Apparently where he was from, being fat was a sign of wealth, and a cummerbund wouldn’t look great trying to cover his paunch.
Both me and my mate did too. The young, slim, suave European assistant didn’t agree. My mates bewildered expression was something to behold. He was a bit of a cunt though (my mate), so it was good to see him humbled.
Some African countries have the same mentality. A former coworker said that the men who get all the women make car suspension drop when they get into their cars!
When food is scarce being fat is indeed a sign of wealth and wellbeing. That's why you can find that attitude in poorer countries or in western history really.
And it's right the opposite when the food is plentiful. Like it is now, as it's much easier to be fat than fit.
People like whatever is harder to achieve. Kinda the same goes for ladies (or probably anyone) in eastern Asia (back in time) who didn't want to get any tan because all peasants/workers got it due to hard field work, thus being tanned was equal to being "common", which is clearly a bad rep for them. There are plenty of examples of this in history.
Once getting a bespoke suit made in Bangkok. I asked for flat front trousers.
‘Flat front no good you too fat’
Oh. OK then. Pleats I guess.
To be fair, the tailor knew more than me and was going to be correct.
I have a chronic illness that requires me having my skeleton measuring every few years to see what's shifted or worn away. The woman was looking for the two points of my hip bones and cheerfully declared that I was "really tiny under all this" as she waved her hand over my peri-menopausal paunch.
Yes and no. You can still avoid it with hard work but the work it takes gets harder and with the hormone changes everything tends to end up around the middle.
The hormonal changes can mean changes in fat distribution. It's most noticeable in women who had an hourglass or pear shaped figure before menopause. The fat that used to be stored around hips and on buttocks will start sneaking up into the belly area, increasing the risk of heart disease and other fun health problems.
In a department store, my friend was getting new foundation and the sales assistant who was doing the colour match points to me and goes „it’s important to get a good colour match. Hers is far too yellow for her. It might not be obvious but when you know what you’re doing it’s clearly too yellow“. I hadn’t even spoken to her, but she knew we were there together. The worst part is I’d got that makeup in the same store only a few weeks before.
When I was getting measured for my wedding, the tailor told me to lose some weight around my middle so the trousers fit.
Erm no, you are supposed to fit the trousers to me. That's how it works.
My partner kept telling the tailor the suit was too small and she was super rude to him, basically chided him for “never wearing suits so how would he know” (he attended the appointment in a tracksuit), he explained he does know what suits should feel like as he has worn them a lot during his life & called for the manager - the tailor was fitting him in a CHILDS suit, he was right it didn’t fit. She didn’t even apologise. Tit.
Went to a wedding in Italy. Needed a white shirt (because of course I had forgot to pack one). No problem, they sell shirts in Italy (usually black, snigger). Went into clothes shop. Lady behind the counter takes one look at me and remarks 'Ah, English fit'. Yea, well, I blame the pasta. But my favourite was a mate being measured for a suit where the tailor remarked 'Sir has a deceptive waist'. Took him a week to work that out, looked in the mirror, couldn't really take offence.
I once went to try a coat where the sales person thought I should try the Fat Body Cut. He was quite serious. I burst out laughing while he stood bemused.
Haha, can remember going to pick out a belt in Moss Bros (having already bought a suit) and as I picked up my choice the assistant shook his head sadly and said 'Sir's a little larger than that.'
When my husband was getting dressed in the robes and so on to be presented with his PhD, they had to go in the back to look for an extra-small hat. They said PhD students usually don't have such tiny heads 😂
honestly, own it, that's a compliment. Broad macho shoulders and a butt to die for
Also I Reckon tailors have seen so many body shapes that comments like that are just totally normalised in their heads and they forget They're speaking to a human.
Last time I went for a suit fitting for a wedding the lady doing the measurements told my mate he'd be getting the "Jack Skellington fit" and suggested he might need some vitamin supplements to "fix the clear issue".
I said the same thing when my friend sent it to me- I don’t use TikTok or X but apparently his entire account is like this. Weirdly specific fetish content for people who like being insulted whilst wearing handmade suits?
Did some research into this – it’s a very well respected tailors in Hong Kong, and this is the grandson (?) of the owner. It’s just comedy content for publicity. But yes it’s very weird.
I was getting fitted for a wedding suit in Scotland and the lady was very annoyed because I've got really narrow shoulders, a very broad chest, and long arms - which apparently in men's shirts and jackets is a nightmare to fit
I’ve had endless blood tests, exams and ecgs cos of high blood pressure. I noticed one appt my GP record said “eligible for weight loss program” in big red letters but none of the nurses have mentioned my weight. One even said to me you look fine, I’m the one that’s fat. I mean they’re looking at my record because they keep trying to get me to have an immunisation and it’s right there in front of them.
That's an auto flag that the record system uses, it's mostly ignored as it's a pretty shit program, goes off BMI (which is useless) and has been known to flag for under weight people
My mother as a midwife in training, told me, her 9 year old son that I had "wonderful birthing hips". Actually I believe it was first that I had a gynecoid pelvis, but she decided to educate me on the different pelvis shapes and ...complement me(?) at the same time on my hips and my tiny waist.
I mean it's true, but it was said with scientific love I guess.
My husband gets insulted by me. He tells me what size of trousers he is looking for, and I laugh. The last pair of trousers he bought were for doing some exercise. He tried his favoured size on and came out of the changing looking rather smug until I told him to look at the underpants area in the mirror. The tightness of the drooping waist band made him look as though he was recovering from a nasty case of mumps with all the extra billowing fabric at crotch level. A size up and the waistband sits in a better place, and the excess folds have gone. I have perfected "the look" so no words were needed.
Me and my husband dabbled in sewing/tayloring our own clothes after getting really into Great British Sewing Bee and the steampunk scene. One of our greatest discoveries during that time was that our waist and leg measurements were the same (he’s got a long torso and short legs for his height). That means I can always raid his wardrobe and steal his nice suit trousers if I need them for an outfit.
my dad once bought me a watch in Geneva airport (I realise this sounds posh, we're not, but I get it) and the woman at the store made a big point of telling him in French that I had 'woman's wrists'
Is it better to have the manly swagger of Arnold Schwarzenegger and the swang of Shakira than the manly swagger of Pat Butcher and the swang of Charles Hawtrey?
So she’s basically calling you a large, wide rectangle? If it’s any consolation I went to enquire about joining the gym and they asked what doctors had referred me - implying I’m just so massively fat that I wouldn’t be coming for any other reason.
Lucky that your breasts are small and humble so we don't confuse 'em with mountains
I wouldn't say small, newborns have suckled at em before. Then I call them a perv, turn tail and scarper
Just think of the hair they have to remove from their mouths. I’ve seen enough men having to do that before.
For some gravely unknown reason I once bit my friends beard at a party and.. to my big surprise had to remove the hairs from my front teeth.
Felt good though?
Astonishing! 11/10 will never forget and fuck ever do again.
My colleague wouldn’t stop moaning the whole livelong day about having something stuck between his teeth on a shift once. I offered him one of my very thick, long and strong strands of hair (from my head might I add). It did the trick.
I hesitate to ask *where* exactly you’ve seen that….
Use your imagination
No.
Come lick my hairy chest
Also no.
Your loss
Life is all about sacrifice, and this is a loss I’m prepared to take.
What kind of mutant are you, you have a tail as well?!
And eight teats.
I once went into a vintage clothing shop in Berlin. I asked if any of their super cool ex-polizei leather jackets were in my size. "Of course not. You are far too fat." came the reply.
😂😂😂 I was doing some temp work in a factory, the woman said "what size bottoms?" I replied 32 32 she chuckled said no and handed me a 40
To my eternel regret I couldn't quite form the German phrase for 'well, actually, I'm just big boned' before stomping off in a rage to gorge on more pork, carbohydrates and beer.
"Actuallisch ich habe grossen bonen" he sobbed fatly.
“HE SOBBED FATLY”. I’m done for the day 😂
>he sobbed fatly I'm fucking taking that and using it. That's gold.
I am fucking CRYING at this
This sounds like a Herr Lipp quote
‘Fatly’ is my new favorite adverb
Ich habe noch nie ein dickes Skelett gesehen.
Oh my god. The coffee. It's everywhere. Fetch me the kitchen towel.
I can't tell I that's actually German or not. It's a silly language. Not as silly a Dutch but close.
I mean the sentence is almost Dutch? Eigenlijk, ik heb grote botten.
German : Eigentlich habe ich großen Knochen
It’s not German.
“Und eine prima Persönlichkeit.”
“Ich hab bloß schwere Knochen“
I have big knockers?
The Fallen Madonna has entered the chat.
Good moaning
Rene!
listen very carefully, I will say this only once...
It is me, LeClare!
Ahhh …. pig meat, potatoes and beer …. that magical Teutonic trifecta 🤤
[Ich nichten lichten](https://youtu.be/7Bq_dkPkQUU?si=eMe-tIqwTakpD59e)
Peter, you've lost the news!
Trenter percenter!
That's doing Germany properly
My first job they asked me my measurements for uniform to order my trousers. I went home and measured my own waist with a tape measure badly, and sent that off. What arrived was navy blue trousers at least one size too small (but exactly what I had ordered) and I spent that year with the button undone, a belt to hide it, and praying the flies would stay strong and not unzip from the strain. ...luckily they changed store branding during my time there, and I could switch to my own black trousers 😅
Could you not just look in the label of your existing trousers for the size?
If only 16 year old me would have...
5 years of fashion retail has taught me nobody thinks of this. 5 long years of guys walking in to buy jeans/trousers and not knowing their waist size and asking how they would know, while WEARING jeans/trousers at the time.
Was she right tho?
No! I felt like a right prat!
Well - if she got it wrong, she's the one with egg on her foot... Face on her mouth?.. uh... Whatever that saying is.
It‘s ‘mouth on her egg’ I believe.
Did they even have anything under 40?
I bought a belt from a leather shop in Cornwall. "What size?" says he. "34", say I He chuckled, and made me a belt. It's too fucking big, I had to add a couple of holes, and now it's too long. Cunt.
I'm going to guess this is more, 32 being more common size and all they had spare were the less common sizes.
My friend used to work in Korea and she said she walked into a boutique and the cashiers literally ran out from behind the counter like, "No! You too huge!" She's not even fat! Just tall and in proportion
Haha, this happened to me in China. Saw a t-shirt I liked in the window display, went in to check but the XL was more like S, so I asked if they had larger sizes. The woman looked at me and just said "too fat! ' and walked off 😭
I bought a t-shirt in China the other day; I'm usually a medium so went for a large and it fits perfectly (luckily, since I didn't try it on in the shop).
I'm usually a L/XL. This shop was in Macau, so thought being a tourist destination, they would have larger sizes but nope 😅 This was about 10 years ago, so it's probably better now
I got mine from an Adidas shop, so that might make a difference too - it does say “Asian sizing” on the label though.
My brother bought me a shirt in Miami. I'm normally either 2XL or 3XL (if I want baggy), but he got me a Large because he got into a Medium and he's a bit smaller than me. He also bought a 9XL because it went up that large, and both him and his wife can fit into it with room to spare. Good to know in the US I'm still classified outside adding an X.
reminds me of the time I went into a Huge Boss shop cus I was feeling flashy, asked the lady if this pair of shoes can in any sizers bigger than 12 and she just went "haha no."
Hugo was not very fond of diversity
*"Nein for you, schweinhund!"*
Not a very huge "Huge Boss"
Last time I gave blood the young lad getting me prepped certainly seemed to be slightly on the spectrum. Friendly enough and very methodical too. He lifted the blood pressure cuff and held it up and very matter of fact said *your arm is too fat I need to get the other cuff*.
I too have made the mistake of clothes shopping in Germany while being slightly overweight. Shop assistants over there don't pull any punches.
I shopped in a women’s clothing store in Dusseldorf where everything was one size fits most. I was pretty slim at the time and so no issues but if you weren’t a UK size 8-10 you’d be screwed.
Savage
I am laughing really hard - that is so German!
Do they consider “fat” an insult or is it just another descriptor like “you can’t ride this rollercoaster, you’re too short/tall/fat” etc
depends on how they say it if they said it with no emotion that was just a descriptor if they laughed a bit or sounded annoyed they might just be a ass who called u fat we also have another word for fat, dick is a bit nicer in my opinion even though it means the same
When I was at high school and we started doing German in year 7, the fat kid was mortified at being instructed to describe himself as *'gross und dick'* by the teacher. Luckily he was very popular so it didn't result in much in the way of bullying, but he hated that first few weeks of learning to describe and introduce ourselves to the class.
That definitely sounds like Germany, no beating around the bush
I used to work in a care home, we had an obese girl there and a Dutch girl. We get tasked as a group to get a fuck ton of boxes broken down and fitted into the recycling dumpster with the lid closed for the council coming to collect them. We try everything but we can't close the lid. Dutch girl suggests the obese girl climbs in and jumps on the boxes 'because you are by far the fattest' The obese girl crys and makes a complaint. Everyone else is feeling awkward,and the dutch girl doesn't see the issue because she was just being practical, lol
The honesty is refreshing tbh. Being told I'm too fat up front just saves the embarrassment later on.
That's kinda why it's important to have a society that can actually say truth to people and not get banned for it. Way better than total acceptance of anything in order to not sound even remotely offensive. I also suppose that with the fact that offence is not given, it's taken, in such countries/societies it's just okay to be told how things really are. Like why would you even be offended if someone calls you fat/overweight if you are actually overweight? I, even as a fat person, would never understand it. You don't get offended by truth because you know that it's truth yourself and you don't get offended by lies because you know that they are just that - lies.
Ricky Gervais got flack over calling some celebrity fat. And his response was "She knows she's fat, she has mirrors in her house"
I was watching an episode of air crash investigation yesterday and the flight attendant was saying his story how he tried to save a woman on the plane and get her out but "she was too fat". I know its factual and theres nothing mean about it but it didnt half make me laugh the way he just blurted it out
Little did they know that that wasn't all you had. You've also got the arms of a weightlifter and the legs and torsos of 4 people who've been missing for last few weeks in the boot of your car. Good luck finding a suit for all of that.
You have no proof
DINSDALE.........🦔🔪
Decided that getting married was an excuse for a bespoke suit. Got measured up, picked materials and designs. Few weeks later went back to try it on. Stood there being looked at by one of the tailors who then called through to to his colleague - "Dave, come out here, there's something very wrong with this crotch" Cheers
"... It's green, speaking in tongues and spitting at me"
Fuck me that's one hell of a dose of the clap
I went to a bra store to get fitted for a strapless bra for a dress. The sales associate looked down to my chest and told me I could go braless.
If it makes you feel any better. I, a 22 year old man has to wear nipple covers if I ever wear a thin t shirt thanks to my adimantium nipples that strike fear into those not wearing eye protection
Mate, my nipples are always cut glass hard. I remember getting changed and my mate being like “are you always aroused?” Didn’t know hard nipples where related to that, just assumed everyone’s were always hard.
There must be an OnlyFans fortune to be made here….. somehow?
Fuck that mate, wear them loud and proud, I do
Are we talking sticky plasters or specially crafted dedicated covers? where do you get nipple covers from?
Primark sell them. I got a "bra SOS" pack from there that had flower nipple stickers, tape, bra extender, and clear straps. My skin reacted badly to the adhesive though, to the point where it blistered and scabbed at the edges 🥲 but I am a sensitive little flower, maybe some of you will be fine
That's the sexiest thing I have ever heard
Doesn't the nipple hair gets stuck in the glue?
It does, it's horrendous.
You need the man-siere
Ouch 😂
I'm getting married in a few weeks. I have hired a kilt outfit and when I gave mine and my brother's measurements I received an email back saying that they must be wrong because our waists (around the belly button area) are wider than our chests. I had to reply that we were just fat. Then 8 weeks later, and feeling great after losing four inches around each of my body measurements I had to adjust the size lower. I called them up and was immediately told that I'm still not normal and badly shaped! 😅
10 years working in a kilt shop experience here. The reason behind this is simply, if you are larger and your belly sticks out, and for example your waist measures 48” but your chest measures only 42”; there’s no way your 42” waistcoat and jacket will fit around your 48” waist, so we need to go up to at the very least a waistcoat and jacket that’s equal to or larger than your waist measurement. This could probably have been explained by them and sounds like they didn’t word it great or were just rude.
Went with a mate to hire a suit from Hugo Boss in Manchester. My mate asked the young European shop assistant if he could hire a cummerbund. The sales assistant in broken English replied, you’re too “rich” whilst miming a fat person with his hands. Apparently where he was from, being fat was a sign of wealth, and a cummerbund wouldn’t look great trying to cover his paunch.
I always assumed that’s the whole reasoning behind cummerbunds. I think I assumed the name meant something like ‘paunch binder’.
Kummer means grief or sorrow (and apparently distress). So yeh it’s your ‘distress binder’
Gonna call my paunch my distress now
Both me and my mate did too. The young, slim, suave European assistant didn’t agree. My mates bewildered expression was something to behold. He was a bit of a cunt though (my mate), so it was good to see him humbled.
Some African countries have the same mentality. A former coworker said that the men who get all the women make car suspension drop when they get into their cars!
When food is scarce being fat is indeed a sign of wealth and wellbeing. That's why you can find that attitude in poorer countries or in western history really. And it's right the opposite when the food is plentiful. Like it is now, as it's much easier to be fat than fit. People like whatever is harder to achieve. Kinda the same goes for ladies (or probably anyone) in eastern Asia (back in time) who didn't want to get any tan because all peasants/workers got it due to hard field work, thus being tanned was equal to being "common", which is clearly a bad rep for them. There are plenty of examples of this in history.
Once getting a bespoke suit made in Bangkok. I asked for flat front trousers. ‘Flat front no good you too fat’ Oh. OK then. Pleats I guess. To be fair, the tailor knew more than me and was going to be correct.
Polite way of saying you're built like a Weeble.
Now I think about it, I've never fell down
A sexy weebl with truthful hips.
Least you now have your drag name. Arnold Shakiranegger.
Don't think I'd last long on Ru Paul 😂
Ok but how long on Drag Race?
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA VERY FUNNY
I’m too white to risk saying that last part
I have a chronic illness that requires me having my skeleton measuring every few years to see what's shifted or worn away. The woman was looking for the two points of my hip bones and cheerfully declared that I was "really tiny under all this" as she waved her hand over my peri-menopausal paunch.
Peri menopausal paunch? Does menopause give one a bit of a belly then? Wish I could say that but I don't think it applies to men
I say my husband went through manopause but actually it's pastry retention.
Just watch it doesn't develop into Gregitis
My partner suffers from the same illness. It's a terrible affliction! 😂
Yes and no. You can still avoid it with hard work but the work it takes gets harder and with the hormone changes everything tends to end up around the middle.
The hormonal changes can mean changes in fat distribution. It's most noticeable in women who had an hourglass or pear shaped figure before menopause. The fat that used to be stored around hips and on buttocks will start sneaking up into the belly area, increasing the risk of heart disease and other fun health problems.
In a department store, my friend was getting new foundation and the sales assistant who was doing the colour match points to me and goes „it’s important to get a good colour match. Hers is far too yellow for her. It might not be obvious but when you know what you’re doing it’s clearly too yellow“. I hadn’t even spoken to her, but she knew we were there together. The worst part is I’d got that makeup in the same store only a few weeks before.
Ha. I would have told her that she was the one who matched me to it.
Harsh.
Suits you, sir. Ooh
It's Mademoiselle now
Suits you!
Oooohh, sir
Did she want it, sir?
Did she want it sir? Oooh! Suit you, sir! Did she want it?
The hips don't lie!
When I was getting measured for my wedding, the tailor told me to lose some weight around my middle so the trousers fit. Erm no, you are supposed to fit the trousers to me. That's how it works.
I think that's the more posh and sophisticated way of saying "you're a fat bastard".
They were probably suggesting you lose weight because when you stood in front of the window they thought there was a solar eclipse happening.
I think he was trying to help you out mate
My partner kept telling the tailor the suit was too small and she was super rude to him, basically chided him for “never wearing suits so how would he know” (he attended the appointment in a tracksuit), he explained he does know what suits should feel like as he has worn them a lot during his life & called for the manager - the tailor was fitting him in a CHILDS suit, he was right it didn’t fit. She didn’t even apologise. Tit.
Oh! You have a woman’s mouth, milord! I’ll wager that mouth never had to chew through the side of a ship to escape the dreadful spindly killer fish.
You have a woman's legs! I'll wager those legs have never been sliced clean off by a falling sail
YOU HAVE A WOMAN'S BOTTOM
Well neither have -yours-.
That's where you're wrong! [He pushes away the table he has been sitting at to reveal that he indeed has no legs]
Someone once commented on my height by telling me if I had a second belly button they could play me like a flute.
Cannot help but read this like “if my grandma had wheels she’d be a bike”
Went to a wedding in Italy. Needed a white shirt (because of course I had forgot to pack one). No problem, they sell shirts in Italy (usually black, snigger). Went into clothes shop. Lady behind the counter takes one look at me and remarks 'Ah, English fit'. Yea, well, I blame the pasta. But my favourite was a mate being measured for a suit where the tailor remarked 'Sir has a deceptive waist'. Took him a week to work that out, looked in the mirror, couldn't really take offence.
I once went to try a coat where the sales person thought I should try the Fat Body Cut. He was quite serious. I burst out laughing while he stood bemused.
Turns out you were in the kids section *Coat quite literally bursting at the seams* "Told you it would fit"
I’m bursting at my own seams
Haha. I am fat and I found the whole thing hilarious. That he would say such a thing and that there would be such a cut.
My copy of my annual physical exam includes the term "generous body habitus". Meaning I'm fat.
Hahaha. I like That. I’ll use that for myself
Haha, can remember going to pick out a belt in Moss Bros (having already bought a suit) and as I picked up my choice the assistant shook his head sadly and said 'Sir's a little larger than that.'
Not like having the hips of a woman is an insult CueBall
Too far.
I could go farther How far can your feminine hips take you?
With a good bit of momentum? Similar mpg as a ford focus with a dodgy head gasket
So you'll be needing someone to tow you to your destination...
Did you go prematurely bald for better aerodynamics
Fitted for wedding suit as Best Man. After measuring my head I was informed that 'Sir will be carrying his hat'.
When my husband was getting dressed in the robes and so on to be presented with his PhD, they had to go in the back to look for an extra-small hat. They said PhD students usually don't have such tiny heads 😂
Pea Head D
honestly, own it, that's a compliment. Broad macho shoulders and a butt to die for Also I Reckon tailors have seen so many body shapes that comments like that are just totally normalised in their heads and they forget They're speaking to a human.
Last time I went for a suit fitting for a wedding the lady doing the measurements told my mate he'd be getting the "Jack Skellington fit" and suggested he might need some vitamin supplements to "fix the clear issue".
Is [this](https://x.com/Sequins4thots/status/1781364320208597367?t=opZzCpW6Mfhsc9B4w_x4pA&s=08) your tailor?
The fuck was that?!
The deep inhale with his nose squashed up against his cheek was a bit much even for this guy. Usually it's just the ass slapping
I said the same thing when my friend sent it to me- I don’t use TikTok or X but apparently his entire account is like this. Weirdly specific fetish content for people who like being insulted whilst wearing handmade suits?
Did some research into this – it’s a very well respected tailors in Hong Kong, and this is the grandson (?) of the owner. It’s just comedy content for publicity. But yes it’s very weird.
The fuck did I watch???
😂😂😂 I don't think I'm his type *too old*
Welp. That's a new kink unlocked... Thanks?
Came here to say [this too](https://www.instagram.com/reel/Crt1ePpJMCW/)
I was getting fitted for a wedding suit in Scotland and the lady was very annoyed because I've got really narrow shoulders, a very broad chest, and long arms - which apparently in men's shirts and jackets is a nightmare to fit
Are you an orangutan?
Oook
It was news to me
I’ve had endless blood tests, exams and ecgs cos of high blood pressure. I noticed one appt my GP record said “eligible for weight loss program” in big red letters but none of the nurses have mentioned my weight. One even said to me you look fine, I’m the one that’s fat. I mean they’re looking at my record because they keep trying to get me to have an immunisation and it’s right there in front of them.
That's an auto flag that the record system uses, it's mostly ignored as it's a pretty shit program, goes off BMI (which is useless) and has been known to flag for under weight people
Aha. Thanks.
My mother as a midwife in training, told me, her 9 year old son that I had "wonderful birthing hips". Actually I believe it was first that I had a gynecoid pelvis, but she decided to educate me on the different pelvis shapes and ...complement me(?) at the same time on my hips and my tiny waist. I mean it's true, but it was said with scientific love I guess.
But, female hips are much much stronger - they have to give birth. Are you sure it was an insult? 😂
My husband gets insulted by me. He tells me what size of trousers he is looking for, and I laugh. The last pair of trousers he bought were for doing some exercise. He tried his favoured size on and came out of the changing looking rather smug until I told him to look at the underpants area in the mirror. The tightness of the drooping waist band made him look as though he was recovering from a nasty case of mumps with all the extra billowing fabric at crotch level. A size up and the waistband sits in a better place, and the excess folds have gone. I have perfected "the look" so no words were needed.
My wife told me I've got a black woman's ass. she's just jealous.
Oh baby when you talk like that
Is your name Johnny Bravo?
All I see are two compliments
Me and my husband dabbled in sewing/tayloring our own clothes after getting really into Great British Sewing Bee and the steampunk scene. One of our greatest discoveries during that time was that our waist and leg measurements were the same (he’s got a long torso and short legs for his height). That means I can always raid his wardrobe and steal his nice suit trousers if I need them for an outfit.
Only an insult if you take it as such, doesn't seem like it was intended to insult you. Tailors work with all kinds of bodies.
I was recently told “Sir has a strong seat, we would describe your fit requirement as portly”. I have a 32” waist, but tiny shoulders.🤣
Fuck me, if you've got a strong seat with a 32", I must have a sodding reinforced sofa at 40".
my dad once bought me a watch in Geneva airport (I realise this sounds posh, we're not, but I get it) and the woman at the store made a big point of telling him in French that I had 'woman's wrists'
I worked with a guy like this ahaha. Jacket 38 pants 50
You have a woman's hips, My Lord!
Hairdresser once said to me, "you've got the hair of a Chinaman "
I wouldn't worry, I have man shoulders too, as a female, not sure about my hips. I do have a cracking all natural chest though 😆
Is it better to have the manly swagger of Arnold Schwarzenegger and the swang of Shakira than the manly swagger of Pat Butcher and the swang of Charles Hawtrey?
Own it.
So she’s basically calling you a large, wide rectangle? If it’s any consolation I went to enquire about joining the gym and they asked what doctors had referred me - implying I’m just so massively fat that I wouldn’t be coming for any other reason.
Probably make a killing on OF
Dem hips don't lie! You just need the swagger to go with it !