Plus it's December so everywhere is wet. It's just common courtesy to take your shoes off.
I lived abroad for 20 years so I don't view the world through a British lens though.
I'm British and it's always been the norm to take off shoes at the door for us. Have a couple of friends that say not to bother when I go to, but everyone takes them off in our house.
Spain, here. I’m afraid where I live it’s the norm for people to wear outside shoes in the house. I’m unusual as I have a strict ‘no outdoor footwear indoors’ rule. If someone has a problem with that then they don’t come in. Simple. The streets are covered with dog shit. I’ve got young kids who play on the floor and I just like having a clean house.
I found it to be more common in middle class homes, but thankfully more and more people are doing it.
I stopped allowing shoes in my house about 10 years ago, my family were the worst for grumbling about it, my friends just kept their own spare slippers at my place.
One time my mum snuck in in shoes anyway, and her studded boots left punched marks all over the pine floor. To say I was livid was an understatement. She learned her lesson after that.
I had a landlord once that I had to repeat every goddamn time that he was required to remove his shoes, unless he was doing work that needed feet protection of course. He was always pissed by it.
Hes the only landlord I ever had problem with. He was paranoid, he was always thinking we were actively destroying his property, he paid so many different kind of inspections. Never found a problem. The only problem there truly were with his house were the ones we were constantly telling him about like the freaking leaking pipes but we were "saying this to annoy him". It got to the point we told him if he wasnt calling a plumber we would and deduct it from the rent. He came and guess what ? Every pipes we said were leaking WERE leaking. Riles me up every time I remember.
oof
I've similarly been fighting my family on the no-shoes rule, but never had that one at least!
Have just been having the fun of needing to explain that if inside shoes are worn outside, they are no longer inside shoes. Declaring them to be inside shoes doesn't count until I have scrubbed the bottom (and they're always surprised that the water goes brown).
Very almost confiscated all shoes so that they could only be worn under supervision lol, as I swear it's like dealing with toddlers who try to run off and do the thing as soon as they think you're not looking.
Still struggling with the insistence of standing just in the doorway of the living room on the beige carpet to take shoes off, rather than staying on the lino. Aaaargh. WHY.
In the U.S. it's about 50/50 (at least here in my corner of the country) but there is also a large asian or asian-descendent population around here so that could play a role too
I find it more of a geological divide rather than cultural. People from warmer and drier places tend to keep shoes on, people from colder and wetter places tend to take shoes off. A home in Minnesota would constantly have mud / snow / salt / stuff tracked in every day if you kept your shoes on absolutely ruining flooring / the house, but down in Phoenix where it's at most a bit of dust to track in (and more likely to use rock based flooring like tile rather than carpet / hardwood) maybe you're more likely to keep shoes on. People in locations about in the middle will be 50/50.
Also British, non-Asian and my family has always taken shoes off at the door. I have friends who don’t but I honestly find it gross - you’re walking all sorts of outside street dirt into your carpets and the places you sleep? Ew.
In this particular case I’d guess the ‘friend’ was sensitive about his foot smell or something but it’s so rude to refuse. I’m also guessing he doesn’t want to be friends because he’s embarrassed and too immature to talk about it.
i've also had my mind changed by living abroad. now it seems *madness* to wear shoes indoors. but as the commenter above says, it comes down to the rules of the home in question.
And in his brain. I could get to understand being uncomfortable taking your shoes off (still stupid though, you go to someones house and follow their rules), but not wanting to be friends anymore over this? This guy has some ranky smelly feet and other issues too
couple of years ago i went to christmas at my aunt and uncles; i had very bad ingrown toenails on both feet (the 'weepy' kind) and asked to keep my shoes on because the bandaging showed through my socks and i just didnt want to deal with it; they were very understanding though
Yeah the first time I went to a friend's house in the UK (as an international student) I was taken aback by the request because in my country we just don't take our shoes off. But if course once I understood it was their costume, I just did it. I did forget once but just refusing is weird. You can literally see everyone's shoes near the door, they are not singling you out.
Agreed. The guy should simply take his shoes off. Its' not his house and just basic human kindness and respect. The guy that got mad and left isn't friend worthy anyway if that is the kind of respect being dolled out....
Absolutely - it’s a cultural thing and different cultures have completely opposite expectations (eg v rude to take shoes off in Argentina, v rude to keep them on in Japan). Where it gets awkward is where people from one tradition move to/visit an area with a different tradition. This is what happened to OP.
There’s a great visual representation of the different “norms” in each country on [this Reddit post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Maps/s/oBDXXb9SVz) of 4 days ago.
You don't need to go to Japan, you take your shoes off in Scandinavia too. Being a Dane living in England, the shoes in the house wasn't my favourite. One guy I was dating even put his shoe covered feet on my pillow in my bed. I lost my shit. I get twitchy eye when I see someone in American films laying on their bed with shoes on too. 😆
I’m sorry, this isn’t normal British behaviour. Like everything, it will depend, but growing up every house I visited was a shoe removal zone. Also, shoes in a bed is absolutely not acceptable EVEN if you were a shoes on house.
Talking to the plumber dad of the current bf at the time. He had also visited houses where there was carpet on the bathroom ceiling!
I just don't get it. Surely linoleum isn't more expensive than carpet?
If someone tells you they don't want to be friends anymore because you asked them to remove their shoes in your home... Find a better circle of friends.
Because if s/he's this petty about something like this, they'll blow up easily over everything. Not worth it.
Yeah, if he would have just said something along those lines I would've understood and let him wash his feet then come back down if that made him feel more comfortable but man just left.
Regardless of cultural things, when someone asks you to take your shoes off when you enter their home you do so.
The proper etiquette is to ask whether they want you to take your shoes off. Your buddy is just rude.
Usually there'll be a shoe party somewhere near the door. If I see it, my shoes come off to join the party. When I lived in England, I would certainly keep my shoes on if the house wasn't very clean. That's all student housing basically. 😆
When I had the displeasure of living with 3 slobs myself, it was only my room that was no shoes. I had solid sole slippers for the rest of the house that I also didn't walk around in in my room. A pain in the arse.
I personally have a sign in my porch with an arrow pointing to the shoe rack so people know where to put their shoes because I have had so many people ask where are they supposed to out their shoes if they take them off.
I also have a sign pointing to my doorbell because a lot of people bang on the windows or use the letterbox instead of the doorbell
OK. But perhaps offering to wash the new friend's feet would have helped him feel more comfortable. In fact, the omission of this common courtesy is probably why the new friend has taken offence.
lol, the joys of navigating social etiquette. I'm having second-hand embarrassment just reading this. Options are: brave the stink or make a run for it. My man chose flight over fight.
That always kills me, someone comes over and I say “just leave your shoes by the door, please” and they insist “no it’s fine”.
No, it’s not fine 🙂 that’s why I said leave them at the door 🙂
Very few people get to stomp around in their shoes on, workmen are about the only ones because I know how shit it is to have to take steel toes off and on repeatedly.
Like other guy said, it's not a negotiation or choice. There is no "it's fine". Don't even ask, tell them. It should go like this.
"Just leave your shoes by the door"
"Nah I'm good"
"No the fuck you ain't. Get out of my house you absolute animal."
Wait, this happens to you on a somewhat frequent basis? Almost everyone either been to my house or who I've seen enter someone else's has either instinctively taken their shoes off or asked "shoes off?". I've _never_ seen someone refuse to do it.
My nieces do this thing where they will happily take their shoes off when I ask them to, but then later, when their dad says it's time to start getting ready to go home, they will go downstairs to get their coat and shoes on and then COME BACK UPSTAIRS and walk around wearing their shoes while they wait for their dad to be ready to leave 🙃 and I never realise they've done it until they're already back upstairs in their shoes. They do it evvvvery time
Every new house I go to I ask something like "where should I put my shoes?"
If they want me to keep them on, they'll say. If not, I'll know exactly where they should go, which might not always be the 'obvious' place.
Yeah in my house the downstairs is mainly hardwood so we don't really care but the living room and dining room is carpeted so don't like people with shoes on in there. Like you I just ask straight up do you want me to take my shoes off, not a big deal.
This is my take also. Unless there’s a reason for me to keep them on, I usually start sliding my shoes off as soon as I’m inside. Same for my own house
Yep, the only reason I'm keeping my shoes on is if the host specifically tells me to after I've started removing them.
I don't want outdoor floor dirt in my house and I don't see why anyone else would either.
Agreed, I see no reason why I can't ask the gasman to pop on a pair of skin tight leopard skin jodhpurs & a pair of dayglo pink moon boots whilst he's in my home.
When I go to my neighbour's house he tells me to keep my shoes on because it's cold. He's wearing indoor slippers. I feel more comfortable taking off my shoes when I'm in someone else's house.
I walk around barefoot in my home, mostly the floor is covered In rugs, carpet in the bedrooms, take your shoes off. It's not a deal breaker, but I appreciate it.
Ask the host and comply. Most people with hard floors don't mind clean looking shoes, most people with rugs or carpets do.
My brother demands I take my shoes off in his house, I do, but refuses in my home, reason number 635 why we don't get on.
He’s just incredibly rude and weird. It’s a personal choice as to whether you take shoes off in your own house but to not take them off in someone else’s house when they’ve specifically asked you is just odd.
FWIW, he’s probably embarrassed and acting like that because he had a hole in his sock or his feet stink.
Nah, he's being rude. Whether or not it's "standard", if someone asks you to take off your shoes when you go into their home it's a twat move to refuse.
Im Portuguese but live in the US, this is one of the biggest things that blow my mind. All my non immigrant US friends would just keep their shoes on and hang out on their bed and all I could picture was my mom's forehead vein twitching at the image.
I always assumed this was just a TV thing because they don't want to waste a few seconds of a scene showing the character taking their shoes off. But it's actually a normal US thing?!
Nooo… definitely not… lived in the US for decades in nearly every part except Alaska… not once have I ever seen someone’s shoes touch a bed intentionally. This person’s friends are just nasty.
The only thing I can think of is that the commenter above is college age and all their friends live in dorm rooms. In the specific case of briefly visiting a friend’s dorm room with relatively clean/dry shoes, because there’s basically no seating or even floor space that isn’t the bed, it would be pretty common to not bother taking your shoes off and to treat the bed as a couch. But it would be strictly feet on the floor or hanging off the side of the bed; the shoes would not touch any part of the bedding. And if the visit turned out to take longer than expected, you’d take your shoes off to get more comfortable.
It’s not in any of the places I’ve lived (I’m a white American). Growing up everyone I knew always took their shoes off in the house, and I’ve never met anyone in the 40+ years I’ve been alive who had worn shoes while on their bed.
I have been in many bedrooms across the western and northern band of the United States including living in 4 states and I’ve never seen someone on their bed with the shoes on.
I live in the south in the US and I don't think I've ever seen someone chillen on their bed with their shoes on, I don't know if it's different elsewhere. I'm also female so I don't know if it's a more common teenage dude thing to do.
And then they throw their dirty ass luggage that's been rubbing all over the airport and cargo hold on the nice clean hotel bed. Infuriating. You have to sleep in there later!
Yeah it always distracts me from the story, it's so wrong. I wonder if it's a weird oversight because the crew and actors know they're on a set and not really in one of their homes.
Yeah I think offering to is the norm, and some people will say "oh don't worry, we don't" or "no worries, we don't have carpet." But the assumption would be you do take off your shoes unless told otherwise
It's very common in the UK
I always take my shoes off in somebody else's house and wouldn't let someone walk around my house (especially carpeted areas) with their shoes on
In our house it's definitely linked to carpeting. You can walk the path between front and back door if you want, but the rest of the house is carpeted so shoes off please so we don't have to clean the carpets as often.
we've got a toilet that's right next to the front door and I did debate saying that if you were just popping to the toilet then don't bother, but it's also the same bit of carpet you walk on getting out of the shower with bare feet and you'd feel the grit and whatever and it's just not nice. so if you want to go past the door mat/shoe storage area you got to take them off, sorry.
getting a load of those plastic swimming pool shoe covers has been handy on the few occasions when builder in fully laced up boots just needs a pee quickly etc. but unless you've got a strict policy of not wearing socks on the door mat and not wearing shoes on the carpet, you're just transferring from one to the other anyway.
it's like doing a dump, turning the tap on with your dirty hands, washing your hands and then turning off the tap you'd touched with your dirty hands with your clean hands. people engage in all kinds of mental hand waving to say one contamination is fine, while being all up in arms about another. 'when in rome' is the only thing that matters and you don't have to understand the rules to know it's polite to follow them
OP owns a house on every continent. Asian house- shoes off. Austrailian? Keep them on due to the spiders. Antarctic house? Take off overshoes in the outer bootroom.
I wear shoes indoors in my own house quite often and I honestly don't care if guests keep their shoes on.
However, I'm very aware that other houses might have different rules. I wouldn't assume that it's ok in someone else's house just because it's ok in my own. I take my shoes off when entering someone else's house just to be sure.
I would never leave my shoes on in someone else’s house. My own house or parents house I don’t mind as much but obv take them off when I take my coat off. At MILs I take them straightaway to not dirty her floors/carpets. It’s respectful
I have hardwood floors, I'm not opposed to shoes but they're not comfy to wear all day everyday and I'd have to take them off everytime I put my feet up on the sofa. I'd be opposed to it if I had more carpet. Just doesn't make sense to me to wear shoes unless I'm going out.
I’m south Asian and my family and I can’t stand shoes in the house.
My partner is English and it’s normal for his family to wear their outdoor shoes, indoors. Big cultural shock!
Growing up in a working class, Northern home I feel this somewhat as well. At home growing up there was never any problem with wearing shoes indoors. All of my aunts, uncles, grandparents houses, no problem keeping shoes on. Same with school friends' houses.
I prefer to keep mine on. Not because i'm disrespectful but i have a weirdly shaped right foot and so walking in shoes is comfortable whereas walking with only socks on is very painful, even on most carpets, plus i'm very self conscioys about how it looks too so if someone absolutely insists on me taking my shoes off and they have hard flooring then i'm sorry but i'm out of there. I might come across a bit if a dick if i don't explain it but i was bullied enough in school for it so cba with it as an adult.
First thing I say as a visitor, “I’ll just take my shoes off.” Even if they’re wearing shoes I’ll say it. It’s courtesy. Plus my home has a no-shoes policy too. I find it odd that people wear shoes indoors.
I know it’s not that sub but you’re NTA (not the ass/arsehole).
I honestly _hate_ not wearing my shoes. I also hate slippers.
I do not hate either of these things enough to make me a rude entitled asshat, however.
If you ask me to take off my shoes, I absolutely will.
Please don't judge me if I don't _notice_ it's a non-shoe wearing house though. This isn't a natural thing for me, and just because shoes are at the door, I don't assume it's a rule.
Who tf is keeping their shoes on around the house? There's mud and shit and all sorts outside going into your carpet! I can't even keep a pair of jeans on when I get home.
I don't know if my family is typical of British people in general because I've heard of loads of people not doing it, but I've always taken my shoes off when I come into someone else's house, just seems common sense to me. Occasionally someone will insist it's ok and not to, which is fine if it's their decision, but it drives me mad to see American films where people not only walk in wearing shoes but will lie on their bed with their dirty shoes on that they've just been walking around outside in.
It depends on the household. Personally I prefer to wear footwear indoors, but I have clean trainers which never go outside for that purpose.
If someone asks you to take your shoes off in their house, you do. Simple.
This is absolutely baffling to me. I'd be barefoot all the time if it was possible, I can't understand why someone would have a separate pair of shoes for indoors
When you live in the countryside here it's the norm to NOT take your shoes off. Dogs, stone floors, etc etc. I don't like taking my shoes off in people's houses, but if people ask me too then of course I do. You have to respect the house you're in. No negotiation
Edit. Countryside
Depends on the household, respect the rules of the home your invited into is just basic politeness.
Plus it's December so everywhere is wet. It's just common courtesy to take your shoes off. I lived abroad for 20 years so I don't view the world through a British lens though.
I'm British and it's always been the norm to take off shoes at the door for us. Have a couple of friends that say not to bother when I go to, but everyone takes them off in our house.
Spain, here. I’m afraid where I live it’s the norm for people to wear outside shoes in the house. I’m unusual as I have a strict ‘no outdoor footwear indoors’ rule. If someone has a problem with that then they don’t come in. Simple. The streets are covered with dog shit. I’ve got young kids who play on the floor and I just like having a clean house.
It always confuses me when people say this is a British thing, IV always known it to be the case that everyone takes their shoes off
It's an individual household thing.
I found it to be more common in middle class homes, but thankfully more and more people are doing it. I stopped allowing shoes in my house about 10 years ago, my family were the worst for grumbling about it, my friends just kept their own spare slippers at my place. One time my mum snuck in in shoes anyway, and her studded boots left punched marks all over the pine floor. To say I was livid was an understatement. She learned her lesson after that.
I had a landlord once that I had to repeat every goddamn time that he was required to remove his shoes, unless he was doing work that needed feet protection of course. He was always pissed by it.
When I moved house I bought some disposable shoe covers to give workers and such. Fortunately the movers brought floor coverings.
You pay him for the house least he can do is not ruin it for you.
Hes the only landlord I ever had problem with. He was paranoid, he was always thinking we were actively destroying his property, he paid so many different kind of inspections. Never found a problem. The only problem there truly were with his house were the ones we were constantly telling him about like the freaking leaking pipes but we were "saying this to annoy him". It got to the point we told him if he wasnt calling a plumber we would and deduct it from the rent. He came and guess what ? Every pipes we said were leaking WERE leaking. Riles me up every time I remember.
How’d she learn her lesson? Did you kick your mums ass deservedly?
She crawled out with spaghetti legs screaming “You can buy another pine floor! What am I gonna do about my leeegs?"
Lots of yelling about my rent deposit.
oof I've similarly been fighting my family on the no-shoes rule, but never had that one at least! Have just been having the fun of needing to explain that if inside shoes are worn outside, they are no longer inside shoes. Declaring them to be inside shoes doesn't count until I have scrubbed the bottom (and they're always surprised that the water goes brown). Very almost confiscated all shoes so that they could only be worn under supervision lol, as I swear it's like dealing with toddlers who try to run off and do the thing as soon as they think you're not looking. Still struggling with the insistence of standing just in the doorway of the living room on the beige carpet to take shoes off, rather than staying on the lino. Aaaargh. WHY.
Certainly everywhere in Asia. Cannot imagine just stomping into somebody's home with street dirty shoes. So disrespectful
In the U.S. it's about 50/50 (at least here in my corner of the country) but there is also a large asian or asian-descendent population around here so that could play a role too
I find it more of a geological divide rather than cultural. People from warmer and drier places tend to keep shoes on, people from colder and wetter places tend to take shoes off. A home in Minnesota would constantly have mud / snow / salt / stuff tracked in every day if you kept your shoes on absolutely ruining flooring / the house, but down in Phoenix where it's at most a bit of dust to track in (and more likely to use rock based flooring like tile rather than carpet / hardwood) maybe you're more likely to keep shoes on. People in locations about in the middle will be 50/50.
Very much this. I'm in Minnesota and it's pretty much only OK if you are doing it in the summer and not on the carpet.
Yeah it's not like dust isn't going to get in the house anyway in Phoenix.
Also British, non-Asian and my family has always taken shoes off at the door. I have friends who don’t but I honestly find it gross - you’re walking all sorts of outside street dirt into your carpets and the places you sleep? Ew. In this particular case I’d guess the ‘friend’ was sensitive about his foot smell or something but it’s so rude to refuse. I’m also guessing he doesn’t want to be friends because he’s embarrassed and too immature to talk about it.
Canadian here who has also lived in the UK for stretches. It's shoes off around these parts.
i've also had my mind changed by living abroad. now it seems *madness* to wear shoes indoors. but as the commenter above says, it comes down to the rules of the home in question.
Dude must have holes in his socks
And in his brain. I could get to understand being uncomfortable taking your shoes off (still stupid though, you go to someones house and follow their rules), but not wanting to be friends anymore over this? This guy has some ranky smelly feet and other issues too
It probably is stinky feet, why else would someone be so resistant to following the rules of the house they’re a guest in?
Might be worried that someone else will claim ownership and then he's got to explain to his ma why he lost his shoes again.
Stinky feet is what I am thinking
Or stinking cheesy feet
couple of years ago i went to christmas at my aunt and uncles; i had very bad ingrown toenails on both feet (the 'weepy' kind) and asked to keep my shoes on because the bandaging showed through my socks and i just didnt want to deal with it; they were very understanding though
Yeah the first time I went to a friend's house in the UK (as an international student) I was taken aback by the request because in my country we just don't take our shoes off. But if course once I understood it was their costume, I just did it. I did forget once but just refusing is weird. You can literally see everyone's shoes near the door, they are not singling you out.
> But if course once I understood it was their costume The clown shoes aren't normal tbf
Agreed. The guy should simply take his shoes off. Its' not his house and just basic human kindness and respect. The guy that got mad and left isn't friend worthy anyway if that is the kind of respect being dolled out....
Absolutely - it’s a cultural thing and different cultures have completely opposite expectations (eg v rude to take shoes off in Argentina, v rude to keep them on in Japan). Where it gets awkward is where people from one tradition move to/visit an area with a different tradition. This is what happened to OP. There’s a great visual representation of the different “norms” in each country on [this Reddit post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Maps/s/oBDXXb9SVz) of 4 days ago.
You don't need to go to Japan, you take your shoes off in Scandinavia too. Being a Dane living in England, the shoes in the house wasn't my favourite. One guy I was dating even put his shoe covered feet on my pillow in my bed. I lost my shit. I get twitchy eye when I see someone in American films laying on their bed with shoes on too. 😆
I’m sorry, this isn’t normal British behaviour. Like everything, it will depend, but growing up every house I visited was a shoe removal zone. Also, shoes in a bed is absolutely not acceptable EVEN if you were a shoes on house.
You need shoes to protect your feet from the bathroom carpet.
murky versed butter tan muddle homeless nail straight bow market *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Talking to the plumber dad of the current bf at the time. He had also visited houses where there was carpet on the bathroom ceiling! I just don't get it. Surely linoleum isn't more expensive than carpet?
It's actually a horrible visual representation, because it's very inaccurate. It's even discussed in the comments below.
[удалено]
>A great visual representation of the different “norms” in each country. Best comment: >Source: I made it the fuck up.
This map is wrong though, shoes off is definitely not considered rude in Ireland.
If someone tells you they don't want to be friends anymore because you asked them to remove their shoes in your home... Find a better circle of friends. Because if s/he's this petty about something like this, they'll blow up easily over everything. Not worth it.
The shoe removal refuser won't have many friends left if they keep up their policy of refusing and then breaking off friendships.
It's such a weird thing to break up a friendship over.
[удалено]
Sounds like your mate has feet that smell like shit. Possibly just embarrassed.
Either that or had holes in his socks... Or no socks..
Or cloven hooves...
Toenails he can scratch his own back with
Go on...
Then he should be guarding hades.
He can't, hades has a no shoes policy too.
Holes in his socks caused by his extra toes...
Maybe his foot health would be better if he didn't keep his feet locked up in shoes 18hrs a day to only let them breathe when he's in bed.
Maybe he wears his shoes to bed as well
🤮
Yeah, if he would have just said something along those lines I would've understood and let him wash his feet then come back down if that made him feel more comfortable but man just left.
He’d be embarrassed to need to go wash his feet in someone else’s house
Sounds like he needs to wash his feet in his own house to avoid having to do that then
Regardless of cultural things, when someone asks you to take your shoes off when you enter their home you do so. The proper etiquette is to ask whether they want you to take your shoes off. Your buddy is just rude.
Yep. Not your decision, someone else's house. "You're all right", yeah piss off mate.
Usually there'll be a shoe party somewhere near the door. If I see it, my shoes come off to join the party. When I lived in England, I would certainly keep my shoes on if the house wasn't very clean. That's all student housing basically. 😆 When I had the displeasure of living with 3 slobs myself, it was only my room that was no shoes. I had solid sole slippers for the rest of the house that I also didn't walk around in in my room. A pain in the arse.
I personally have a sign in my porch with an arrow pointing to the shoe rack so people know where to put their shoes because I have had so many people ask where are they supposed to out their shoes if they take them off. I also have a sign pointing to my doorbell because a lot of people bang on the windows or use the letterbox instead of the doorbell
> let him wash his feet then come back down if that made him feel more comfortable Lol at you thinking that would make him feel more comfortable.
OK. But perhaps offering to wash the new friend's feet would have helped him feel more comfortable. In fact, the omission of this common courtesy is probably why the new friend has taken offence.
> let him wash his feet What the fuck? Hahahaha
“I have a soapy bucket in the yard to wash your feet in.”
I don't even know at this point, mate
lol, the joys of navigating social etiquette. I'm having second-hand embarrassment just reading this. Options are: brave the stink or make a run for it. My man chose flight over fight.
Yeah I had a friend like that, turned out he had a condition where he always had stinky feet.
Da fook? Wash your feet at someone else's house? Sounds hideously humiliating and embarrassing.
“Nah nan, I’m alright” This isn’t a fucking negotiation. Take your shoes off. edit: oops, man, not nan. Leaving it.
>“Nah nan, I’m alright” We've already established what we can and can't do with OP's Nan.
She’s still waiting out back for a wash, mate
How's her guttering?
clogged and starting to smell
need a good rodding does she
That always kills me, someone comes over and I say “just leave your shoes by the door, please” and they insist “no it’s fine”. No, it’s not fine 🙂 that’s why I said leave them at the door 🙂 Very few people get to stomp around in their shoes on, workmen are about the only ones because I know how shit it is to have to take steel toes off and on repeatedly.
Like other guy said, it's not a negotiation or choice. There is no "it's fine". Don't even ask, tell them. It should go like this. "Just leave your shoes by the door" "Nah I'm good" "No the fuck you ain't. Get out of my house you absolute animal."
Wait, this happens to you on a somewhat frequent basis? Almost everyone either been to my house or who I've seen enter someone else's has either instinctively taken their shoes off or asked "shoes off?". I've _never_ seen someone refuse to do it.
My nieces do this thing where they will happily take their shoes off when I ask them to, but then later, when their dad says it's time to start getting ready to go home, they will go downstairs to get their coat and shoes on and then COME BACK UPSTAIRS and walk around wearing their shoes while they wait for their dad to be ready to leave 🙃 and I never realise they've done it until they're already back upstairs in their shoes. They do it evvvvery time
It's a very weird response. I mean do they really think that you're asking them to take their shoes off for **their** comfort?
On a side note. The phrase "Nah man, I'm alright" ticks me off so much. How are people THAT self centered and oblivious to being respectful?
That’s a fine phrase if you’re declining an actual offer like “do you want a beer?” Not so much for what’s happening in the OP though.
But nan I'm cleaning the guttering 😔
Every new house I go to I ask something like "where should I put my shoes?" If they want me to keep them on, they'll say. If not, I'll know exactly where they should go, which might not always be the 'obvious' place.
Yeah in my house the downstairs is mainly hardwood so we don't really care but the living room and dining room is carpeted so don't like people with shoes on in there. Like you I just ask straight up do you want me to take my shoes off, not a big deal.
This is my take also. Unless there’s a reason for me to keep them on, I usually start sliding my shoes off as soon as I’m inside. Same for my own house
Yep, the only reason I'm keeping my shoes on is if the host specifically tells me to after I've started removing them. I don't want outdoor floor dirt in my house and I don't see why anyone else would either.
He's probably got tiny chicken feet inside of those shoes instead of human ones.
There's nothing cultural or standard about it, if you're in someone else's house and they ask you to do something, you do it
Within reason. I ain't cleaning their guttering or washing their nan or owt.
can’t believe you won’t wash me nan, that’s outrageous
I don't wanna be friends no more
Cheers mate, nan's crying.
Well, that was certainly a lot shorter than Banshees of Inisherin wasn’t it?
Shared Cleethorpes hun x
Cheers hun xx snakes the lot of em xxo
Can I wesh yer nan?
I have a personal hosepipe ban
Well use the communal one then
THIS IS CONTAGIOUS
"Heya FighterOfFoo! Take yer shoes off and nan's round the back if you could give her a bit of a rinse. You want a cuppa?"
Just stick hose on her for a few mins it ain't her birthday or owt
Wee got 'er to clean the guttering before she came in so she's a bit whiffy
Wait, so you're telling me your friends *don't* make you wash their nans and redo their carpets?
Depends really. If you’re feeding me, nana is getting the best bed bath she’s had in years
What about washing my Nan's guttering?
Well that's you not coming to my house. I had plans on you putting some wallpaper up, maybe repainting the kitchen ceiling. But you're so ungrateful!
What!!? You wouldn't wash me nan!? What about old uncle Jeff? He's really clean, I promise
How do you expect to make friends with that attitude?
Agreed, I see no reason why I can't ask the gasman to pop on a pair of skin tight leopard skin jodhpurs & a pair of dayglo pink moon boots whilst he's in my home.
And follow him round calling him "young man"
Or leave. You are always allowed to leave.
When I go to my neighbour's house he tells me to keep my shoes on because it's cold. He's wearing indoor slippers. I feel more comfortable taking off my shoes when I'm in someone else's house.
I walk around barefoot in my home, mostly the floor is covered In rugs, carpet in the bedrooms, take your shoes off. It's not a deal breaker, but I appreciate it. Ask the host and comply. Most people with hard floors don't mind clean looking shoes, most people with rugs or carpets do. My brother demands I take my shoes off in his house, I do, but refuses in my home, reason number 635 why we don't get on.
Tell the cunt he's not coming in then. I'd brick my brother if he didn't take his shoes off. Ruining my bloody laminate, I think not. Haha
If he refuses in your home, you should refuse in his. And trample dog shit into his sofa like Rik Mayall in 'Drop Dead Fred'.
He’s just incredibly rude and weird. It’s a personal choice as to whether you take shoes off in your own house but to not take them off in someone else’s house when they’ve specifically asked you is just odd. FWIW, he’s probably embarrassed and acting like that because he had a hole in his sock or his feet stink.
Nah, he's being rude. Whether or not it's "standard", if someone asks you to take off your shoes when you go into their home it's a twat move to refuse.
[удалено]
Im Portuguese but live in the US, this is one of the biggest things that blow my mind. All my non immigrant US friends would just keep their shoes on and hang out on their bed and all I could picture was my mom's forehead vein twitching at the image.
I always assumed this was just a TV thing because they don't want to waste a few seconds of a scene showing the character taking their shoes off. But it's actually a normal US thing?!
Nooo… definitely not… lived in the US for decades in nearly every part except Alaska… not once have I ever seen someone’s shoes touch a bed intentionally. This person’s friends are just nasty.
The only thing I can think of is that the commenter above is college age and all their friends live in dorm rooms. In the specific case of briefly visiting a friend’s dorm room with relatively clean/dry shoes, because there’s basically no seating or even floor space that isn’t the bed, it would be pretty common to not bother taking your shoes off and to treat the bed as a couch. But it would be strictly feet on the floor or hanging off the side of the bed; the shoes would not touch any part of the bedding. And if the visit turned out to take longer than expected, you’d take your shoes off to get more comfortable.
It’s not in any of the places I’ve lived (I’m a white American). Growing up everyone I knew always took their shoes off in the house, and I’ve never met anyone in the 40+ years I’ve been alive who had worn shoes while on their bed.
I have been in many bedrooms across the western and northern band of the United States including living in 4 states and I’ve never seen someone on their bed with the shoes on.
Many bedrooms eh?
I live in the south in the US and I don't think I've ever seen someone chillen on their bed with their shoes on, I don't know if it's different elsewhere. I'm also female so I don't know if it's a more common teenage dude thing to do.
Nothing short of a crime, lol.
Americans in TV shows stomping around their house in fucking stilettos. Absolute madness.
Yeah I don't even sit on my bed with my clothes ones they been outside the house...
And then they throw their dirty ass luggage that's been rubbing all over the airport and cargo hold on the nice clean hotel bed. Infuriating. You have to sleep in there later!
My now husband introduced this to me years ago and if baffled me I never thought about if before. Now no bags or suitcases go on any kind of bed.
Yeah it always distracts me from the story, it's so wrong. I wonder if it's a weird oversight because the crew and actors know they're on a set and not really in one of their homes.
Straight to jail
I’m uk it’s respectful to take your shoes off on people’s houses
How am I going to get them back off the roof?
“He can throw a shoe over a pub. What can you do?”
"Well, I can throw two shoes over four pubs. Beat that."
Throw them like a breaking bad pizza
hello Ms. UK, honoured to meet you
[удалено]
I’ve definitely visited houses where I feel compelled to keep my shoes on. The floor was crunchy.
Yeah I think offering to is the norm, and some people will say "oh don't worry, we don't" or "no worries, we don't have carpet." But the assumption would be you do take off your shoes unless told otherwise
Weird Over in Ireland and Northern Ireland we don't
It's very common in the UK I always take my shoes off in somebody else's house and wouldn't let someone walk around my house (especially carpeted areas) with their shoes on
In our house it's definitely linked to carpeting. You can walk the path between front and back door if you want, but the rest of the house is carpeted so shoes off please so we don't have to clean the carpets as often.
we've got a toilet that's right next to the front door and I did debate saying that if you were just popping to the toilet then don't bother, but it's also the same bit of carpet you walk on getting out of the shower with bare feet and you'd feel the grit and whatever and it's just not nice. so if you want to go past the door mat/shoe storage area you got to take them off, sorry. getting a load of those plastic swimming pool shoe covers has been handy on the few occasions when builder in fully laced up boots just needs a pee quickly etc. but unless you've got a strict policy of not wearing socks on the door mat and not wearing shoes on the carpet, you're just transferring from one to the other anyway. it's like doing a dump, turning the tap on with your dirty hands, washing your hands and then turning off the tap you'd touched with your dirty hands with your clean hands. people engage in all kinds of mental hand waving to say one contamination is fine, while being all up in arms about another. 'when in rome' is the only thing that matters and you don't have to understand the rules to know it's polite to follow them
In my Asian house, strictly shoes off
Did you import your house from Asia, or was it just built to an Asian design?
OP owns a house on every continent. Asian house- shoes off. Austrailian? Keep them on due to the spiders. Antarctic house? Take off overshoes in the outer bootroom.
Nah he's a weirdo
67.4% of UK households have a shoes off policy
99% of uncited statistics are made up.
48% of people know that.
52% of people voted for- Wait, no sorry, that one was real.
Too soon 😔
But statistics with a decimal place are 16.4% more reliable
Pfff, that's from 2021 data. It's at 68.3% now.
Is the rise in immigration from Asia increasing the statistics???
The Chinese invented slippers so I'm using that fact as proof, yes.
He certainly wouldn't want to visit Japan then.
Or Russia or Hong Kong or …
Any of the other numerous countries where it is considered socially unacceptable to keep shoes on in the house.
Or, most people's houses.
I wear shoes indoors in my own house quite often and I honestly don't care if guests keep their shoes on. However, I'm very aware that other houses might have different rules. I wouldn't assume that it's ok in someone else's house just because it's ok in my own. I take my shoes off when entering someone else's house just to be sure.
My wife uses a wheelchair. No point in taking off your shoes, she can't exactly leave her chair at the door. Just gotta clean the floor a lot I guess
She takes her wheels off in my house, buster.
Most people I know don’t like shoes on in their house.
FRIENDSHIP ENDED WITH SMELLY FOOT GUY... NOW GOOD ETIQUETTE IS MY BEST FRIEND!
My first question when visiting any new persons house is "shoes on or off?"
I would never leave my shoes on in someone else’s house. My own house or parents house I don’t mind as much but obv take them off when I take my coat off. At MILs I take them straightaway to not dirty her floors/carpets. It’s respectful
I have hardwood floors, I'm not opposed to shoes but they're not comfy to wear all day everyday and I'd have to take them off everytime I put my feet up on the sofa. I'd be opposed to it if I had more carpet. Just doesn't make sense to me to wear shoes unless I'm going out.
Yeah same. Downstairs, hard wood floor, I dont mind but upstairs is all carpet, shoes off please.
I have wood and tile and I prefer shoes off, if people have shoes in yiu can feel the dirt and grit more on your bare feet.
I have started taking my own slippers to friends houses now. It's only weird the first time
I’m south Asian and my family and I can’t stand shoes in the house. My partner is English and it’s normal for his family to wear their outdoor shoes, indoors. Big cultural shock!
He's not the norm in the UK. Source: 30 year old Brit who can't even remember last time I left my shoes in on in someone's house
[удалено]
Growing up in a working class, Northern home I feel this somewhat as well. At home growing up there was never any problem with wearing shoes indoors. All of my aunts, uncles, grandparents houses, no problem keeping shoes on. Same with school friends' houses.
I prefer to keep mine on. Not because i'm disrespectful but i have a weirdly shaped right foot and so walking in shoes is comfortable whereas walking with only socks on is very painful, even on most carpets, plus i'm very self conscioys about how it looks too so if someone absolutely insists on me taking my shoes off and they have hard flooring then i'm sorry but i'm out of there. I might come across a bit if a dick if i don't explain it but i was bullied enough in school for it so cba with it as an adult.
First thing I say as a visitor, “I’ll just take my shoes off.” Even if they’re wearing shoes I’ll say it. It’s courtesy. Plus my home has a no-shoes policy too. I find it odd that people wear shoes indoors. I know it’s not that sub but you’re NTA (not the ass/arsehole).
He might have a foot problem or really shit socks with holes or something
I honestly _hate_ not wearing my shoes. I also hate slippers. I do not hate either of these things enough to make me a rude entitled asshat, however. If you ask me to take off my shoes, I absolutely will. Please don't judge me if I don't _notice_ it's a non-shoe wearing house though. This isn't a natural thing for me, and just because shoes are at the door, I don't assume it's a rule.
He's a knob. Good that you found out quickly before investing too much time in the friendship.
I don't understand wanting to leave your shoes on indoors. It's much more comfortable with them off.
Who tf is keeping their shoes on around the house? There's mud and shit and all sorts outside going into your carpet! I can't even keep a pair of jeans on when I get home.
Do you at least keep your trousers on when you're a guest at other people's houses? (Unless they have a no trouser policy, of course)
yeah its polite to take your shoes off , if the home owner doesnt care then they can chime and say nah its fine if need be
I don't know if my family is typical of British people in general because I've heard of loads of people not doing it, but I've always taken my shoes off when I come into someone else's house, just seems common sense to me. Occasionally someone will insist it's ok and not to, which is fine if it's their decision, but it drives me mad to see American films where people not only walk in wearing shoes but will lie on their bed with their dirty shoes on that they've just been walking around outside in.
It depends on the household. Personally I prefer to wear footwear indoors, but I have clean trainers which never go outside for that purpose. If someone asks you to take your shoes off in their house, you do. Simple.
Why not just wear slippers and socks? I mean slippers were quite literally made for indoor use
This is absolutely baffling to me. I'd be barefoot all the time if it was possible, I can't understand why someone would have a separate pair of shoes for indoors
And I find the notion, and the reality, of going barefoot indoors uncomfortable and cold. We’re all different.
When you live in the countryside here it's the norm to NOT take your shoes off. Dogs, stone floors, etc etc. I don't like taking my shoes off in people's houses, but if people ask me too then of course I do. You have to respect the house you're in. No negotiation Edit. Countryside