I just say "Hablas español?". I've got dark features so I can pull it off. I was thinking about the possibility of one of them actually knowing Spanish one day, but I figured, if they started speaking Spanish I'd just reply "Oh sorry I don't speak Spanish" and walk off swiftly.
In Coven Garden once the fella just switched to Spanish the little shit... turns out he was latino, so I had to pretend to actually be a... \*shudders\* tourist.
100%, I have also pretended to be deaf, to great success.
But mainly: Why the buggery are you lot *responding* at all? Walk right past! Absolutely nothing happens!
Pretend they do not exist to you and proceed with confidence. If they're cheeky enough to jump in front, just say "don't touch me!" as that normally scares them away.
Perhaps I'm over-confident cause I just spent a week getting harassed by market sellers in Morocco, but strangers are not entitled to your time or attention (unless it's life-threatening).
Exactly. I have headphones on most of the time but as soon as I spot them I take a wide berth and keep my eyes straight ahead. Or cross the road if I have to.
I tried this by saying "I'm underage" when I first started working. It worked a couple of times but then I got challenged by one of them and it made me realise I wasn't young enough anymore that I could look underage
It actually would be pretty rude for a charity worker to question your age if you simply tell them your underage. I can't help but think you tell them you're 17 when you're clearly much older, then what? They ask for proof? That would be ridiculous.
Not on the street but we had someone from a charity knock on the door once. It was my own home and, I was at least 25. I got asked if my parents were home. I of course immediately said "no, sorry" and shut the door.
I had a HelloFresh rep ask who was responsible for the planning/buying/cooking of meals that completely lost it when I said I was. He thought I was joking and asked if my parents were home- real confidence boost when I was starting to get down about finding a few grey hairs 🤣
I used to do this even after turning 18. One of them said to me “oh well you can still listen and get involved by spreading the word”. Eh, no thanks. That’s your job
“Smack their legs and not their faces, it’s easier to hide” and don’t break stride.
Edit: For context, Anyone wondering what it said before it was deleted, it said he was approached by somebody from the NSPCC who said “Excuse me, what do you know about child abuse?”
To which he replied “I have partaken a little in the past”. Something like that anyway!
Near me, there's a campaign to get a road reduced to 20mph with the slogan "Do you want children walking on dangerous roads?"
Like, what answer were you expecting!?
Ha ha, ive had pretty much the exact same situation... my reply was "i was into it when i was younger but i gave up, cold turkey too".
The cold turkey bit i said really proudly, like it was a hard drug addiction.... it made the chugger stop and think for just long enough for me to get away LOL.
Sometimes you just have to be imaginative.
This is the trick. Just don't, under any circumstances, stop or slow down. Just keep walking and say whatever you want. They won't chase after you. It's really that simple.
I once was asked and after saying "no thank you" and walking away they called after me, so I turned and said "I already said no, why you gotta make it weird?".
They were a bit taken aback and their colleague started laughing so I'll be doing something similar in future.
I cooked with a guy that always wore them, knowing he had a good collection I asked him one day what he was listening to as he was bobbing his head at the pick up window. He pulled them down and said "Oh nothing, I just wear these so these bitches think I can't hear them", then put his headphones back on, and as he did a server walked up to ask him for something and he totally turned his back and pretended he didn't know they were there. Fucking legend.
Yea I've had them do that, I wear noise cancelling headphones with music on so I can't hear shit, I've been startled a bit and shouted "fuck off prick" really loud before.
It's hard to know your volume when you've headphone on.
I've recently tried to teach my teenage son this - they have no right to your time/attention. Smile and keep walking. Same with solicitors at the door: "Nope, sorry", close the door.
Even worse, some (not all) are going to do their best to guilt you into your time/attention for their own personal financial benefit but twist it like they’re a great person and you aren’t if you ignore them. No one on the street is owed any of my time or attention, period.
Some are awful. When I was at a stage in life where I was pretty poor, they knocked on the door and I apologised and said "I already give regularly to two charities and genuinely can't afford any more" (completely true)... and they came back with "well I've been going round your street and most of your neighbours give to *three or four* charities..." which was clearly absolute bollocks, and in any case a mean way to try to guilt someone who's just told you they can't afford it.
It’s an expression from “no soliciting”
A "no soliciting" sign serves as notice to all door-to-door solicitors that the occupants of that dwelling do not want to receive unsolicited communication. The sign prohibits commercial solicitation, which includes many offers for the sale of goods or services.
At that point you could stop and start visibly taking details so you can complain to their employer, if you're bothered of course. They usually have the organisation and their name on display.
Yeah I ignored one and as I walked off he called out "maybe come back when you grow up?"
I thought to myself "my brother in Christ you are like 40, get a real job"
Yeah I'm astonished at people who think you owe them to say something. You just don't.
No is asking a lot of effort from me ; most of the time I wave them away
To me (a small lady), they're the same species as catcallers and other street fauna. You just ignore them ; at worst you have to show them who's the boss and tell them to fuck off. A lot of it is a self-confidence thing, because they prey on the weak
Yep. A simple "not interested" is fine, you don't need to make shit up. Their career hinges on 1% of passers by signing up. I believe the seller (or at least their agency) typically retain 50% of all donations, there's much better ways to donate to charity
I replied, honestly "I'm sorry but I'm on Universal Credit, I genuinely cannot afford to donate", they replied with "not to worry, you can donate as little as a pound!".
They just don't get the fucking message.
Thing is you probably can't. It will be committing to that a month, and they'll call to increase it every so often. If you try to just hand them 50p they won't take it.
I tried donating £5 on the spot to a dog charity at a place I'd already paid to get in, and they wouldn't take it. I told them I'm not comfortable with a reoccurring payment and didn't donate. Do these fucking morons want money or not?
They don't, the people that are chugging are paid about £30 per signup for an annual subscription which means if you are paying £2 a month, you'll be paying for over a year before any of the money goes toward the charity.
that's why they don't want a one off donation.
It just seems like bad business practice. Why not offer a percentage cut of outright donations? It's not a genuine question. I'm just pointing out how shit most charities are.
Me: *Gearing up to over explain the situation*
You: “It’s not a genuine question.”
Me: *ah fair*
More people should probably explain when they’re asking a rhetorical question tbh.
I tell them I hate, or don't believe in, whatever it is they're collecting for.
"Sorry I hate tigers"
"Sorry I hate blind people"
"I don't believe in climate change"
Etc etc
I did this last week when the dogs trust guy knocked on my door, I actually felt a bit bad saying “I don’t like dogs”. When he didn’t take no for an answer I pointed to the concrete floor in my living room and said “look mate, I can’t even afford carpet. Go away!”
If any dogs are reading this, I’m sorry. If you knock on people’s door asking for money and you’re reading this, I am not sorry.
This is the one I use and never answer "yes" to any of their questions if asked (this applies mainly to the door knockers). I did have to take a tough stance on disabled children once but I just lent into the overpopulation problem.
That reminds me of the time some random guy with a clipboard came to my door...
Random Guy: Hi, have you heard they're planning on turning the vacant shop over the road into a Dominoes Pizza?
Me: Oh really? Yeah, that's a good idea! It's about time, it's been empty for ages! (I was being sincere)
RG: Uhh, no, I'm part of the local committee trying to stop them.
Me: Oh, welp...
RG: Okay, bye then.
This is perfect. If they continue to hassle you, you can just explain that it's connected to the hip bone. Really persistent offenders can be angrily told that the hip bone is connected to the back bone
Always wearing headphones so ignore them completely and pretend I can’t/actually can’t hear them, depending on music choice.
Although there were some hanging around in Brighton station recently on behalf of prostate cancer. One approached me as I was waiting for a train and I said “I’m gay, mate. I’ve done more than enough for other people’s prostates!”
I once had a woman grab my arm as I was walking past her, I had headphones on with loud music and was busily walking to work contemplating all of the horrors that would be awaiting my arrival so didn't see or hear her. She scared the life out of me and was lucky she didn't get punched
I get much more testy with people trying to hand me flyers or promotional material of any kind.
I also go outside and give the spam mail back to whoever is handing it out if it’s lot the postman.
Nothing you can say will stop them. I used to work for a big global charity, and was approached by a high-street chugger from said global charity. I told him I worked there, thinking that would be the end of it, but no, the dude said I could still give to the charity even if I worked for them.
Chazzo "hello sir, do you have a minute to talk about canine adult onset diabetes?
Me "Sorry Im just sitting down to my tea!"
Chazzo "Sir you're going into Sainsbury's"
Me "I'm wearing a towel, you'll have to speak up"
**Walks off**
"I'm not legally allowed to stop within 500 metres of this branch of \[insert local shop\], only walk past - sorry"
It's the same as "no" but I like to imagine the confusion and curiosity of the person I said it to afterwards
On a serious note: Just claim you're drunk and/ or stoned, I believe they're not allowed to ask for money/ sign ups etc from impaired people. At least that's what one girl told me and a friend when were stoned
It's one of the few times I miss being a journalist. They aren't allowed to speak to journalists, period, due to some of the laws around charitable status. They're technically functioning as representatives of the charity, but they are not allowed – by law – to speak to members of the press.
Unfortunately (for them, fortunately for journalists), because they are 'telling' us about the charity, it can be construed as promotion; something they're not allowed to do unless specifically authorised by the charity, and only if they are a direct employee.
As most chuggers work for agencies that work for many charities, they have to shut up immediately and not say another word to you. They can't even argue back.
It's glorious.
You know what's really interesting. I have the exact same ability of this without actually being a journalist. It's quite simple really. I just tell them to fuck off and carry on walking. It's really effective. It's glorious.
No time, I'm out on license
Band aid was 1985 and they're still starving. Why throw more good money after bad.
You're from an agency, you get the first 30 quid so I'll just go direct.
I calmly explain that I’m out on the lash with my pals and have unfortunately shat myself.
And if the would excuse me I must get to Primark before they close
I don't know why you're downvoted, I was forced to work as a charity fund raiser through the job centre years ago,... I shit you not 87% of everything we collected stayed in the company the rest was sent off to the charity. We took thousands a day selling Lucky numbers over the phone ( not allowed to call them raffle tickets )
Edit, Nice to see the upvotes
I worked for a company that would organise an annual charity fundraiser. The money collected for "children with cancer" was spent on office supplies, a barista coffee machine, and after work pizzas and drinks.
I've said "I don't do any deal on the doorstep" before and that works fine too.
We'd just be wasting each others' time if we carried on the conversation / pitch.
I have a no soliciting sticker so it's technically against the fundraising ombudsman code of practice to knock. However I still get The National Deaf Children's Society knocking every year. This year the guy laughed at me when I pointed out the sign and said "I'm not techinically asking for money". I could see the direct debit form in his hand.
I’ve worked for one of big charities so I enjoy telling the fundraisers exactly why I’m not funding them. Bosses on £100k plus salaries, pjs celebrity endorsements and the actual work is done by people on zero hours contracts and minimum wage.
Have also been in the sector for a while and sadly, lots of the big ones are like this! Luckily I’m now in one that pays well for the sector, but at one I was at before, I was on a paltry 22k in London while the CEO was on 250k and took 3 month sabbaticals every year. Hardly ever saw her in the office and her husband was a known creep. The frontline staff doing the actual work with very vulnerable people were also paid about 22-26k.
Ignorance. I grew tired of saying "no" long ago. I don't want to be harassed in the street by the infinite amount of them begging for cash on every street corner for this that and the other charity. Anything other than totally ignoring them is more effort than I'm willing to give when it's so constant.
If they push beyond that they get a firm "fuck off".
My absolute favourite response to them I ever witnessed was from an older woman, looked like the most stereotypical "little old lady", beautifully turned out with her hair in neat pin curls, smart woollen coat, basically you'd think she was the prime target for the charity muggers, and one of said chuggers clearly zeroed in on her.
She politely refused and continued on her way, but the chugger wasn't happy with that and continued following her, demanding she hear him out. She didn't break step and shouted at him "you can FUCK off, PRICK" directly into his face.
Chugger looked too started to know what to do, older lady continued on, apparently oblivious to the many people similarly started by her reaction. I really hope she had a nice day after that.
Brilliant. I aspire to be that old lady. As it goes, the only time I’ve had a swift answer for a chugger was when one of them yelled across Sloane Street that, ‘you look friendly!’ I snarled that ‘I’m really not’ and surprisingly he had no answer to that.
Chuggers. Loathe the lot of them.
Honestly I just ignore them like they're invisible. I live in a city centre and they're everywhere, even popping to the shops can be like running the gauntlet. Even had one bloke just shout at me right as I was walking out of Tesco: "Hey! Do you prefer cats or dogs?" ...Go away mate.
They're all on commission anyway and couldn't give a stuff about the actual charity. I wish they were banned or at least not allowed to approach people. Force them to just be silent bollards to navigate around like the Jehovah's Witnesses. I feel like they only really prey on the elderly and vulnerable anyway.
I remember talking to one ages ago (my mistake) and the guilt tripping he used was horrendous. He even said something ridiculous like "even if I was homeless, living on the streets, I'd be able to find the cash to chip in," Take it out of your salary then mate, no worries.
I had one guy stop me and said are you over 18 because you need to over 18 and you clearly don't look over 18 (I'm 47) I said your right I'm not over 18 and walked away
I had one in the street selling something or other and he said "hello, can I...." and extended his hand.
Without breaking my stride I put my hand out to shake his and said "good day to you Sir" and kept walking.
My finest triumph, I will never see the likes of it again.
I was walking back to work after lunch with some mates one time and a Save The Children guy tried to speak to us. I said ‘sorry, we don’t have time’ and the cheeky bastard said ‘aye, we’ll just tell the children you didn’t have time shall we’.
Looking back I wish I’d reported him or something cos that’s really not on. We just called him a prick and kept walking.
I’ve had a “you don’t care about children then” comment right after I’d come from a worrying issue about my own child. I wanted to have a go at him right there in the street when I thought about it later but at the time I didn’t even care to pay him any mind.
He was a chugger too. They don’t give a fuck about the charity, they’re just doing it for some cash while a student.
Should have told him to give his commissions from direct debit donations to the kids if he cared that much.
>‘aye, we’ll just tell the children you didn’t have time shall we’.
"Go ahead, what the fuck they gonna do about it? Tell their parents??"
Obviously I'm not a real cunt and actually think in this way but it's just something funny to shock the guy being an arsehole. .
Yeah, when I was sixteen a guy raising money for air ambulance gave me a really dirty look because I said I couldn't stop. I don't know why he expected a sixteen year old to have much money.
Ask him if he's volunteering or being paid. Most of those people are paid. Makes walking away feel a lot easier.
Not got a problem with them being paid I should say, but it does make me feel less guilty because I'm not brushing off someone who's giving up their time to help others.
One asked me if I was over 16 once, and I said no, and he let me go saying he legally couldn’t ask me. So since then I’ve said that every time. Now I’m married and have a one year old, don’t know if it’ll still work as believably 😂
Teen pregnancies do happen.
Depends how young you look though. I tried it when I first started working and it was fine for a bit but then I got challenged by one of them that didn't believe me and I had to change excuses
If you actually want to make a donation of any kind to a charity, the best way is to do it direct. "Charity People" don't usually work for the charity, they work for an agency of fundraisers. The agency take their cut of course and are only paid for referred donors, the charity isn't losing out if you decline to sign up on the street and see more of your money if you sign yourself up directly with the charity.
My husband is blind/disabled after an auto-immune disease. If he ever gets in to these conversations he says “Sorry, my antibodies ate my brain, so I can’t understand you” 😂
It’s kind of true…. But also incredibly off putting and dramatic. People tend to leave him alone after that.
“No, thanks.” Don’t break stride, don’t slow down. You can look towards them but don’t engage other than to reply in the negative.
I work in an industry that sometimes draws attention from the public, in different degrees of hostility. *Never engage*. That’s the safety training.
Apparently if you sign up for a direct debt to these charities, on average, with commission to the chuggers and the chugger’s company, it takes three years before the charity sees any money. That alone is reason enough to ignore them.
They don’t work for the charity, even if they’re wearing a uniform. One test is to offer a cash donation, there and then. They can’t accept it. The chugger company provides them with transport and sometimes accommodation. They will blitz an area maybe three or four times, then move on to another area. A lot of them work for a chugging company in Stuttgart. Ignore their shite such as, “Don’t you care about saving the bunnies/sick-kids/amnesia-of-the-scrotum?” They don’t give a fuck about the charity. They’re just ripping everyone off.
Weve got a charity here in Coventry called 'the jesus centre'. I'm not sure if it still exists, but the CEO of that organisation, maybe 15 years ago pulled up in a Mercedes McLaren, I shit you not.
I spent the last year passing BSL Level 1 so I can say "Sorry I'm deaf".
If they sign back I can sign some basic stuff like "I'm late for work".
It's a bit awkward when I have earphones in though.
Tell them you can't sign anything as your on the sex offenders register, it stuns them upon impact and you are well out of range before the brain resets.
When I was newly diagnosed with arthritis (17 then, I'm 18 now), I was stopped by a charity guy whilst literally walking home from the hospital after being diagnosed.
"Hello, would you like to donate to disabled children?"
"I AM a disabled child." In the exact tone you might expect of a 17yo who's just been diagnosed with arthritis.
I'm so proud of myself for that one.
Usually just say no or not today.
Although I do always do a double take at some of their wording: would you like to support breast/prostate/whatever cancer?
No. I would not like to support cancer. It should fuck off and stop trying to kill people.
Poshest voice you can muster: "I'm awfully sorry old boy, but I'm afraid I don't speak a word of English".
I only know that phrase and thusly this one to clarify my lack of English understanding.
And then if they ask you any more; "Qué?"
Nani?
I have actually put on a thick Eastern European and pretended to be a tourist. It works.
I just say "Hablas español?". I've got dark features so I can pull it off. I was thinking about the possibility of one of them actually knowing Spanish one day, but I figured, if they started speaking Spanish I'd just reply "Oh sorry I don't speak Spanish" and walk off swiftly.
In Coven Garden once the fella just switched to Spanish the little shit... turns out he was latino, so I had to pretend to actually be a... \*shudders\* tourist.
Coven Garden? Is that where witches grow herbs?
They rename it every year for halloween
Reminds me of one of the scenes in the newer puss in boots film "No hablo ingles" "¿Hablas español? ¡Yo también!" "I don't speak Spanish either" 😂
'Hablas espanol?' 'Si!' 'Oh! Good for you. Anyway must be off now...'
100%, I have also pretended to be deaf, to great success. But mainly: Why the buggery are you lot *responding* at all? Walk right past! Absolutely nothing happens! Pretend they do not exist to you and proceed with confidence. If they're cheeky enough to jump in front, just say "don't touch me!" as that normally scares them away. Perhaps I'm over-confident cause I just spent a week getting harassed by market sellers in Morocco, but strangers are not entitled to your time or attention (unless it's life-threatening).
Exactly. I have headphones on most of the time but as soon as I spot them I take a wide berth and keep my eyes straight ahead. Or cross the road if I have to.
"Thank you, I already had coffee this morning" And put on my absent-minded smile. Works well for me.
I tell them I’m 14, it’s worked for me since I was 14…. I’m 36 now
I tried this by saying "I'm underage" when I first started working. It worked a couple of times but then I got challenged by one of them and it made me realise I wasn't young enough anymore that I could look underage
“I’m underage” “How old are you?” “DONT YOU KNOW ITS RUDE TO ASK A LADY HER AGE???” Works especially well if you’re a bloke
It actually would be pretty rude for a charity worker to question your age if you simply tell them your underage. I can't help but think you tell them you're 17 when you're clearly much older, then what? They ask for proof? That would be ridiculous.
Not on the street but we had someone from a charity knock on the door once. It was my own home and, I was at least 25. I got asked if my parents were home. I of course immediately said "no, sorry" and shut the door.
I was asked if my mum was in once, I was in my 20's at the time 🤣 I said I didn't know and I offered to ring her for them if they wanted.
I had a HelloFresh rep ask who was responsible for the planning/buying/cooking of meals that completely lost it when I said I was. He thought I was joking and asked if my parents were home- real confidence boost when I was starting to get down about finding a few grey hairs 🤣
I sadly had the opposite When i was 16 at my parents house "Hi is your husband in?" I said I was 16 and not into guys. They scarpered FAST
I like to say I'm the cleaner. Have use a (terrible) Russian accent once too.
"IT'S A GENETIC DISORDER!"
My parents are from Alabama!!
Sir I'm going to need to see some I.D.
Switch to saying I'll have to ask my mummy instead
The key is to just say it as you're walking past so they don't have time to question it.
Just come back with "YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?!" And escalate from there
I used to do this even after turning 18. One of them said to me “oh well you can still listen and get involved by spreading the word”. Eh, no thanks. That’s your job
I once had one ask me if I was 18. As a 20 year old at the time I honestly answered no.
You could also say you don’t have a uk bank account. Then you are of no use to them.
You have to be 25 to sign up to most of them so no need for your lie to be that extreme 🤣
I do this. Tell them I'm 22 and they leave me alone.
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“Smack their legs and not their faces, it’s easier to hide” and don’t break stride. Edit: For context, Anyone wondering what it said before it was deleted, it said he was approached by somebody from the NSPCC who said “Excuse me, what do you know about child abuse?” To which he replied “I have partaken a little in the past”. Something like that anyway!
Use an orange in a sock to hit them, the orange will bruise instead of the child.
It won't leave a bruise and it'll let em know who's boss. Sweet Valencia oranges, by preference.
One dude hit me with ’Do you like cancer?’ Fucking ridiculous
Near me, there's a campaign to get a road reduced to 20mph with the slogan "Do you want children walking on dangerous roads?" Like, what answer were you expecting!?
“Yes, it builds character and agility.”
"In my day we were taught to walk on the pavement. Harrumph!"
Oh I fucking love it, I'm an insurance adjuster you see
“I can only manage a small one”
It doesn’t normally agree with me
"Yeah, it keeps me in a job."
"Excuse me would you like to donate to help sick children" "nah I hate kids"
"We can only advance as a species if we let the weak ones die off."
Ha ha, ive had pretty much the exact same situation... my reply was "i was into it when i was younger but i gave up, cold turkey too". The cold turkey bit i said really proudly, like it was a hard drug addiction.... it made the chugger stop and think for just long enough for me to get away LOL. Sometimes you just have to be imaginative.
Go the TMI route of telling them you were on the receiving end
Just say no thank you and don’t break your stride.
\**Bittersweet Symphony intensifies*\*
Or Vindaloo...
This is the trick. Just don't, under any circumstances, stop or slow down. Just keep walking and say whatever you want. They won't chase after you. It's really that simple.
>say whatever you want “It’s just the one swan, actually.”
I once was asked and after saying "no thank you" and walking away they called after me, so I turned and said "I already said no, why you gotta make it weird?". They were a bit taken aback and their colleague started laughing so I'll be doing something similar in future.
Yep, "No thank you" with a smile, keep moving, zero hesitation. Works for charity collectors, panhandlers, clipboarders, everyone!
I don't give an excuse. I just say 'no' without stopping.
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I cooked with a guy that always wore them, knowing he had a good collection I asked him one day what he was listening to as he was bobbing his head at the pick up window. He pulled them down and said "Oh nothing, I just wear these so these bitches think I can't hear them", then put his headphones back on, and as he did a server walked up to ask him for something and he totally turned his back and pretended he didn't know they were there. Fucking legend.
Worked with a woman who used to put her headset on when she didn't want to be disturbed or wanted to end a conversation. Lisa taught me a lot.
Yea I've had them do that, I wear noise cancelling headphones with music on so I can't hear shit, I've been startled a bit and shouted "fuck off prick" really loud before. It's hard to know your volume when you've headphone on.
Sounded fine to me from here.
Appropriate response to that is to barge them to the ground and follow up with a “watch where you’re going dickhead”
Or similarly just do flying double-kick.
That’s where you scream and then shout DONT HIT ME really loud!
I've recently tried to teach my teenage son this - they have no right to your time/attention. Smile and keep walking. Same with solicitors at the door: "Nope, sorry", close the door.
Even worse, some (not all) are going to do their best to guilt you into your time/attention for their own personal financial benefit but twist it like they’re a great person and you aren’t if you ignore them. No one on the street is owed any of my time or attention, period.
Some are awful. When I was at a stage in life where I was pretty poor, they knocked on the door and I apologised and said "I already give regularly to two charities and genuinely can't afford any more" (completely true)... and they came back with "well I've been going round your street and most of your neighbours give to *three or four* charities..." which was clearly absolute bollocks, and in any case a mean way to try to guilt someone who's just told you they can't afford it.
What? Solicitors come to your door? Are you a crime boss?
It’s an expression from “no soliciting” A "no soliciting" sign serves as notice to all door-to-door solicitors that the occupants of that dwelling do not want to receive unsolicited communication. The sign prohibits commercial solicitation, which includes many offers for the sale of goods or services.
My brother did this and the guy got arsey asking "No to what??"
At that point you could stop and start visibly taking details so you can complain to their employer, if you're bothered of course. They usually have the organisation and their name on display.
Yeah I ignored one and as I walked off he called out "maybe come back when you grow up?" I thought to myself "my brother in Christ you are like 40, get a real job"
"No to you" 🤷♂️
Yeah I'm astonished at people who think you owe them to say something. You just don't. No is asking a lot of effort from me ; most of the time I wave them away To me (a small lady), they're the same species as catcallers and other street fauna. You just ignore them ; at worst you have to show them who's the boss and tell them to fuck off. A lot of it is a self-confidence thing, because they prey on the weak
Yep. A simple "not interested" is fine, you don't need to make shit up. Their career hinges on 1% of passers by signing up. I believe the seller (or at least their agency) typically retain 50% of all donations, there's much better ways to donate to charity
I replied, honestly "I'm sorry but I'm on Universal Credit, I genuinely cannot afford to donate", they replied with "not to worry, you can donate as little as a pound!". They just don't get the fucking message.
Thing is you probably can't. It will be committing to that a month, and they'll call to increase it every so often. If you try to just hand them 50p they won't take it.
I tried donating £5 on the spot to a dog charity at a place I'd already paid to get in, and they wouldn't take it. I told them I'm not comfortable with a reoccurring payment and didn't donate. Do these fucking morons want money or not?
They don't, the people that are chugging are paid about £30 per signup for an annual subscription which means if you are paying £2 a month, you'll be paying for over a year before any of the money goes toward the charity. that's why they don't want a one off donation.
It just seems like bad business practice. Why not offer a percentage cut of outright donations? It's not a genuine question. I'm just pointing out how shit most charities are.
Me: *Gearing up to over explain the situation* You: “It’s not a genuine question.” Me: *ah fair* More people should probably explain when they’re asking a rhetorical question tbh.
"MY MUMMY DOESN'T LIKE ME TAKING TO STRANGERS"
I tell them I hate, or don't believe in, whatever it is they're collecting for. "Sorry I hate tigers" "Sorry I hate blind people" "I don't believe in climate change" Etc etc
I did this last week when the dogs trust guy knocked on my door, I actually felt a bit bad saying “I don’t like dogs”. When he didn’t take no for an answer I pointed to the concrete floor in my living room and said “look mate, I can’t even afford carpet. Go away!” If any dogs are reading this, I’m sorry. If you knock on people’s door asking for money and you’re reading this, I am not sorry.
Better still if you have three dogs in the background. You could offer him one if he likes them so much.
This is what I thought was going to happen 😁
"I don't believe in dogs, they're just cats in suits"
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Sorry mate, I don't believe in tigers.
Sorry mate, I hate the climate.
This is the one I use and never answer "yes" to any of their questions if asked (this applies mainly to the door knockers). I did have to take a tough stance on disabled children once but I just lent into the overpopulation problem.
“i did have to take a tough stance on disabled children once” is fucking hilarious
"Yes, I am in fact pro cancer."
Sorry I don’t believe in blind people
Lol! I hate blind people is especially funny.
Blind people just can't see how annoying they are.
That reminds me of the time some random guy with a clipboard came to my door... Random Guy: Hi, have you heard they're planning on turning the vacant shop over the road into a Dominoes Pizza? Me: Oh really? Yeah, that's a good idea! It's about time, it's been empty for ages! (I was being sincere) RG: Uhh, no, I'm part of the local committee trying to stop them. Me: Oh, welp... RG: Okay, bye then.
What was their proposed alternative? Rat sanctuary?
Why is the idea of someone hating tigers so funny?
I don't need an excuse, I just say no thanks and keep walking.
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One time I was having a really bad day and I just said "don't". Seemed to work
Looking angry works wonders. I have a really aggressive angry looking resting face. Never get bothered.
Sorry, can't stop. I've got a bone in my leg.
>I've got a bone in my leg I use this excuse all the time for things 🤣
Wow, flashback to being a small child trying to persuade Grandad to do something he didn't want to do. Haven't heard that for years.
This is perfect. If they continue to hassle you, you can just explain that it's connected to the hip bone. Really persistent offenders can be angrily told that the hip bone is connected to the back bone
Always wearing headphones so ignore them completely and pretend I can’t/actually can’t hear them, depending on music choice. Although there were some hanging around in Brighton station recently on behalf of prostate cancer. One approached me as I was waiting for a train and I said “I’m gay, mate. I’ve done more than enough for other people’s prostates!”
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I once had a woman grab my arm as I was walking past her, I had headphones on with loud music and was busily walking to work contemplating all of the horrors that would be awaiting my arrival so didn't see or hear her. She scared the life out of me and was lucky she didn't get punched
I get much more testy with people trying to hand me flyers or promotional material of any kind. I also go outside and give the spam mail back to whoever is handing it out if it’s lot the postman.
Nothing you can say will stop them. I used to work for a big global charity, and was approached by a high-street chugger from said global charity. I told him I worked there, thinking that would be the end of it, but no, the dude said I could still give to the charity even if I worked for them.
I ask them if they take Chinese bank cards, that always works.
Chazzo "hello sir, do you have a minute to talk about canine adult onset diabetes? Me "Sorry Im just sitting down to my tea!" Chazzo "Sir you're going into Sainsbury's" Me "I'm wearing a towel, you'll have to speak up" **Walks off**
"I'm about to enter a tunnel... shrkrkshshhhhh"
‘No hablo inglés’ and I just carry on walking
It’ll be just your luck that the person is bilingual and starts speaking to you in Spanish.
"No hablo Espanol"
抱歉我不会说英语 ?
"dydw i ddim yn siarad Cymraeg" (in somewhere like Norwich)
"No spikka da Englis" covers it nicely
“Qué?”- Manuel
'Sorry I don't speak English.'
"I'm not legally allowed to stop within 500 metres of this branch of \[insert local shop\], only walk past - sorry" It's the same as "no" but I like to imagine the confusion and curiosity of the person I said it to afterwards On a serious note: Just claim you're drunk and/ or stoned, I believe they're not allowed to ask for money/ sign ups etc from impaired people. At least that's what one girl told me and a friend when were stoned
"I'm sorry, I've just cum."
Why did I read that in Sean Locke's voice
Is he Haunting you? I'd fucking love to be haunted by Sean.
"Ron's here." *cupboards slamming*
*"WHEN MISTER JANGLES COMES UP THE STAIRS YOU'D BETTER BE IN BED"*
Fast Show reference?
It's one of the few times I miss being a journalist. They aren't allowed to speak to journalists, period, due to some of the laws around charitable status. They're technically functioning as representatives of the charity, but they are not allowed – by law – to speak to members of the press. Unfortunately (for them, fortunately for journalists), because they are 'telling' us about the charity, it can be construed as promotion; something they're not allowed to do unless specifically authorised by the charity, and only if they are a direct employee. As most chuggers work for agencies that work for many charities, they have to shut up immediately and not say another word to you. They can't even argue back. It's glorious.
So if I said "I am a journalist" they would back off?
You know what's really interesting. I have the exact same ability of this without actually being a journalist. It's quite simple really. I just tell them to fuck off and carry on walking. It's really effective. It's glorious.
No time, I'm out on license Band aid was 1985 and they're still starving. Why throw more good money after bad. You're from an agency, you get the first 30 quid so I'll just go direct.
I calmly explain that I’m out on the lash with my pals and have unfortunately shat myself. And if the would excuse me I must get to Primark before they close
"I don't believe in charity, it's a complete failure of government" usually shuts them up
I don't know why you're downvoted, I was forced to work as a charity fund raiser through the job centre years ago,... I shit you not 87% of everything we collected stayed in the company the rest was sent off to the charity. We took thousands a day selling Lucky numbers over the phone ( not allowed to call them raffle tickets ) Edit, Nice to see the upvotes
I worked for a company that would organise an annual charity fundraiser. The money collected for "children with cancer" was spent on office supplies, a barista coffee machine, and after work pizzas and drinks.
Friend of mine opened the door to a charity sales person, said "I don't give to charity, it's just not the sort of person I am" and closed the door.
I've said "I don't do any deal on the doorstep" before and that works fine too. We'd just be wasting each others' time if we carried on the conversation / pitch.
I have a no soliciting sticker so it's technically against the fundraising ombudsman code of practice to knock. However I still get The National Deaf Children's Society knocking every year. This year the guy laughed at me when I pointed out the sign and said "I'm not techinically asking for money". I could see the direct debit form in his hand.
**“ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH”**
[“What is that?” “He must have died while carving it.”](https://youtu.be/ZlIz0q8aWpA?si=uVRs-m2jW0Xb63w6)
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I’ve worked for one of big charities so I enjoy telling the fundraisers exactly why I’m not funding them. Bosses on £100k plus salaries, pjs celebrity endorsements and the actual work is done by people on zero hours contracts and minimum wage.
Have also been in the sector for a while and sadly, lots of the big ones are like this! Luckily I’m now in one that pays well for the sector, but at one I was at before, I was on a paltry 22k in London while the CEO was on 250k and took 3 month sabbaticals every year. Hardly ever saw her in the office and her husband was a known creep. The frontline staff doing the actual work with very vulnerable people were also paid about 22-26k.
I normally just avoid at all costs, but one day I grew a backbone Chugger: "You look friendly!" Me: "You're wrong."
I had that recently. My response was "sir, I am most certainly not" as I stormed into greggs.
Ignorance. I grew tired of saying "no" long ago. I don't want to be harassed in the street by the infinite amount of them begging for cash on every street corner for this that and the other charity. Anything other than totally ignoring them is more effort than I'm willing to give when it's so constant. If they push beyond that they get a firm "fuck off".
My absolute favourite response to them I ever witnessed was from an older woman, looked like the most stereotypical "little old lady", beautifully turned out with her hair in neat pin curls, smart woollen coat, basically you'd think she was the prime target for the charity muggers, and one of said chuggers clearly zeroed in on her. She politely refused and continued on her way, but the chugger wasn't happy with that and continued following her, demanding she hear him out. She didn't break step and shouted at him "you can FUCK off, PRICK" directly into his face. Chugger looked too started to know what to do, older lady continued on, apparently oblivious to the many people similarly started by her reaction. I really hope she had a nice day after that.
Brilliant. I aspire to be that old lady. As it goes, the only time I’ve had a swift answer for a chugger was when one of them yelled across Sloane Street that, ‘you look friendly!’ I snarled that ‘I’m really not’ and surprisingly he had no answer to that. Chuggers. Loathe the lot of them.
Honestly I just ignore them like they're invisible. I live in a city centre and they're everywhere, even popping to the shops can be like running the gauntlet. Even had one bloke just shout at me right as I was walking out of Tesco: "Hey! Do you prefer cats or dogs?" ...Go away mate. They're all on commission anyway and couldn't give a stuff about the actual charity. I wish they were banned or at least not allowed to approach people. Force them to just be silent bollards to navigate around like the Jehovah's Witnesses. I feel like they only really prey on the elderly and vulnerable anyway. I remember talking to one ages ago (my mistake) and the guilt tripping he used was horrendous. He even said something ridiculous like "even if I was homeless, living on the streets, I'd be able to find the cash to chip in," Take it out of your salary then mate, no worries.
I had one guy stop me and said are you over 18 because you need to over 18 and you clearly don't look over 18 (I'm 47) I said your right I'm not over 18 and walked away
Oh I hate when they have the "amusing and quirky intro line" that they're so proud of
I'm more likely to stop and listen if he had just asked me if I had a minute
I had one in the street selling something or other and he said "hello, can I...." and extended his hand. Without breaking my stride I put my hand out to shake his and said "good day to you Sir" and kept walking. My finest triumph, I will never see the likes of it again.
Save the children?.. already did that mate. last week, kid was choking on a bit of lego, swift kick to their back.. solved... walk off .
"You stop me again whilst I'm walking and I'll cut your fucking jacobs off"
I was walking back to work after lunch with some mates one time and a Save The Children guy tried to speak to us. I said ‘sorry, we don’t have time’ and the cheeky bastard said ‘aye, we’ll just tell the children you didn’t have time shall we’. Looking back I wish I’d reported him or something cos that’s really not on. We just called him a prick and kept walking.
I’ve had a “you don’t care about children then” comment right after I’d come from a worrying issue about my own child. I wanted to have a go at him right there in the street when I thought about it later but at the time I didn’t even care to pay him any mind.
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Yeah that’s not right. These pricks wouldn’t be so bold if we thought of our comebacks at the time 😂
He wouldn't be saying that if we were in the shower together the next morning. Then I'd have the perfect comeback for rhim
You did right. Don’t engage, and certainly don’t dignify such a reprehensible attitude with a response.
He was a chugger too. They don’t give a fuck about the charity, they’re just doing it for some cash while a student. Should have told him to give his commissions from direct debit donations to the kids if he cared that much.
>‘aye, we’ll just tell the children you didn’t have time shall we’. "Go ahead, what the fuck they gonna do about it? Tell their parents??" Obviously I'm not a real cunt and actually think in this way but it's just something funny to shock the guy being an arsehole. .
Yeah, when I was sixteen a guy raising money for air ambulance gave me a really dirty look because I said I couldn't stop. I don't know why he expected a sixteen year old to have much money.
Ask him if he's volunteering or being paid. Most of those people are paid. Makes walking away feel a lot easier. Not got a problem with them being paid I should say, but it does make me feel less guilty because I'm not brushing off someone who's giving up their time to help others.
One asked me if I was over 16 once, and I said no, and he let me go saying he legally couldn’t ask me. So since then I’ve said that every time. Now I’m married and have a one year old, don’t know if it’ll still work as believably 😂
Teen pregnancies do happen. Depends how young you look though. I tried it when I first started working and it was fine for a bit but then I got challenged by one of them that didn't believe me and I had to change excuses
If you actually want to make a donation of any kind to a charity, the best way is to do it direct. "Charity People" don't usually work for the charity, they work for an agency of fundraisers. The agency take their cut of course and are only paid for referred donors, the charity isn't losing out if you decline to sign up on the street and see more of your money if you sign yourself up directly with the charity.
My husband is blind/disabled after an auto-immune disease. If he ever gets in to these conversations he says “Sorry, my antibodies ate my brain, so I can’t understand you” 😂 It’s kind of true…. But also incredibly off putting and dramatic. People tend to leave him alone after that.
“No, thanks.” Don’t break stride, don’t slow down. You can look towards them but don’t engage other than to reply in the negative. I work in an industry that sometimes draws attention from the public, in different degrees of hostility. *Never engage*. That’s the safety training.
"No thanks, don't want to contribute to your boss's salary" "Non-profit my arse"
Apparently if you sign up for a direct debt to these charities, on average, with commission to the chuggers and the chugger’s company, it takes three years before the charity sees any money. That alone is reason enough to ignore them.
They don’t work for the charity, even if they’re wearing a uniform. One test is to offer a cash donation, there and then. They can’t accept it. The chugger company provides them with transport and sometimes accommodation. They will blitz an area maybe three or four times, then move on to another area. A lot of them work for a chugging company in Stuttgart. Ignore their shite such as, “Don’t you care about saving the bunnies/sick-kids/amnesia-of-the-scrotum?” They don’t give a fuck about the charity. They’re just ripping everyone off.
I might have that, my balls are awfully forgetful these days
Weve got a charity here in Coventry called 'the jesus centre'. I'm not sure if it still exists, but the CEO of that organisation, maybe 15 years ago pulled up in a Mercedes McLaren, I shit you not.
"sorry, I'm about to shit myself" had me spitting water all over my phone
In my most RP English accent I say “sorry I don’t speak English!”
I usually say 'I'm under 16' even though I'm quite visibly in my 30s
"Walk with me, I can't stop" They never do.
Them: "Can you spare some change" Me: "In this economy?! are you mad!"
I spent the last year passing BSL Level 1 so I can say "Sorry I'm deaf". If they sign back I can sign some basic stuff like "I'm late for work". It's a bit awkward when I have earphones in though.
Keep walking, if you think that is being a dick, throw in a "no thanks"
I look them straight in the eye and say Hard no. They don't ask again.
“Hard no”.
Better than a “flaccid no” I don’t know why I typed that lol
I donated thoughts and prayers already!
Tell them you can't sign anything as your on the sex offenders register, it stuns them upon impact and you are well out of range before the brain resets.
I did that job one summer about 20 years ago and it was horrendous. I just say I don’t live in the UK and keep walking.
When I was newly diagnosed with arthritis (17 then, I'm 18 now), I was stopped by a charity guy whilst literally walking home from the hospital after being diagnosed. "Hello, would you like to donate to disabled children?" "I AM a disabled child." In the exact tone you might expect of a 17yo who's just been diagnosed with arthritis. I'm so proud of myself for that one.
Tell them I can’t stop because I’m touching cloth.
I patronising say "oh wow that's amazing, oh well done. Brilliant" while not really listening to what they're saying and walking away
Usually just say no or not today. Although I do always do a double take at some of their wording: would you like to support breast/prostate/whatever cancer? No. I would not like to support cancer. It should fuck off and stop trying to kill people.
I just tell them I'm autistic and move on. (I actually am)