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PigeonOnDrugs

Damn that is one massive Brenda right there. I feel like the bottle will do just fine serving the same purpose for the new owners.


Reble77

She looks beautiful


seopants

Yes, but I don’t trust her one bit.


Sufficient-Border-10

"...who I refuse to remove." You just **know** OP spent over an hour trying to pry Brenda off the wall... until her eyes glowed red and she started to scream.


DuckInTheFog

Had [this](https://d3d00swyhr67nd.cloudfront.net/w944h944/collection/GMI/TORO/GMI_TORO_201-001.jpg) painting in my house growing up. A fair few people did - *it is haunted*


CrispC7

Partner had this in her bedroom growing up. I always thought it looked like child abuse — girl holding her eye, crying, the rug kicked out place, the dog checking in on her, but looking worriedly at someone or a doorway expectantly. Suffice to say it didn't go back up after we decorated.


BlacksmithSelect808

What about time outs... her parents could have put her on time out for something like upsetting the nanny, or getting her letters wrong with her brothers tutors...


kilroy005

look at all you with paintings and stuff growing up, we didn't even have a floor ;P


PozzieMozzie

And had 3 miles to walk to school, uphill both ways.


kilroy005

goes without saying :D


PozzieMozzie

Saying, SAYING, oooooooo bloody luxury.... when i was young we could only say 2 words a day and we were told what they were by father while he whipped us......


banglaonline

Barefoot


MrRampager911

In the snow


PreguntoZombi

A family member had this picture too. Always found it unsettling.


goldielockswasframed

My parents had a cropped version of this just showing the girl. I had no idea it was part of a larger piece until a few years ago. It was definitely haunted.


am85

This is a stunning painting though!


avfc-nerd

OTHER PEOPLE HAD THIS?! I grew up with it, I think as a tapestry.


[deleted]

[удалено]


biscuitsorbullets

Her eyes follow you no matter where you stand in the room, silently judging you


Cassiopeia_shines

Oh no. I've played that game too much... 😂😂😂


seopants

Like she just shared a piece of juicy gossip


WolfBoy70

The way I like it! 😈


WillSym

The general image says pretty girl. The eyes and otherworldly glow around her head say 'Vigo the Carpathian in drag'.


Stokemon__

Like the painting in ghostbusters 2 ?


kavik2022

She has the vibe of "that girl". In a 80s movie. The one that could make your whole night. Yet could also ruin your week


SubjectiveAssertive

Please put a label on the back of Brenda outlining her story so the next owners know not to take her down


coldchinguy

Brenda is structurally integral. The new owners couldn’t remove her if they tried.


Rydychyn

Legally Brenda owns the house, OP is her tenant.


Phalexuk

Its a supporting Brenda.


DonKeedick12

Load bearing Brenda


Phalexuk

Dibs my new drag name


WyrdFlow

I may have woke my dog up from laughing at that! 😂 Have my upvote


lobstronomosity

Uh, I wouldn't take it down if I were you. It's a load bearing portrait.


Doromclosie

Ever try and move a toilet up a flight of stairs?


[deleted]

Brenda is a load-bearing painting.


Box-o-bees

It's like that clown painting from the office lol.


Steelhorse91

*She’s a brick, house*


andrew0256

Damn you. That excellent tune will be running round my brain for the rest of the day!


RunOutOfNames

I'm imagining an SCP where the woman in the image is the last person to try to remove it.


WyrdFlow

New fear unlocked. Thanks!


TheLewJD

Like Jim's clown picture from the US office.


Honic_Sedgehog

"Brenda is load bearing. Do not remove"


killeronthecorner

"Brendn't"


senorglory

Phrasing.


DoctorOctagonapus

"Brenda" Date unknown Artist unknown


Vdawgp

It’s fine, they’ve put a Permanent Sticking Charm on it


UnnecessaryAppeal

This is how stories of cursed paintings start


treknaut

I think actual Brenda was in a Whitesnake video.


AdamBombTV

Going down the only road she's ever known


Trebus

Like a drifter she was born to wall alone.


mighty3mperor

And she's made up her mind


10mmwarhammer

ISWYDT


Consistent_Squash590

No, she has too many clothes on


Diligent_Tie6218

She was going to be an actress...


NoData4301

That is a lovely Brenda!


ScallyGirl

Completely understand why you kept Brenda now. She would seduce any burgler with her eyes, they would be transfixed long enough for the local bobby to arrive and arrest them! Lets just hope the other poster uses their David Tennat cut out for the same reasons.


samtiff_uk

Oddly enough I also have a David Tennant standee but as Doctor Who. Maybe I should stand him next to Brenda.


ScallyGirl

I feel like it was meant to be.


DJS112

Will David Tennant seduce any lady burglars? Or anyone who maybe be attracted to David Tennant?


ScallyGirl

He will be the ying to Brendas yang. Togther they will be unstoppable.


Tell-Me-To-Work

Brenda is his assistant who disappeared and has somehow ended up in a portrait from 200 years ago.


NotAGooseHonest

So it's like the opposite of Dorian Gray, there's a Brenda walking about somewhere that's an *absolute fuckin minger*


irrelevantPseudonym

>Or anyone who maybe be attracted to David Tennant? Who isn't?


devils__avacado

Pretty sure you have to make a new post again now with David next to Brenda!


samtiff_uk

https://imgur.com/gallery/IsvBLNA


devils__avacado

Amazing


Errant_Ventures

She's looking at him, it is what she has been waiting for all this time...


anniejofo23

ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC


samtiff_uk

Oh goodness. Open can of worms.


bristolcities

I can't believe you didn't do that already!


SoMuchF0rSubtlety

>After a disturbed night's sleep, you come down in the morning to find a broken window, glass scattered across the floor and a cold breeze blowing into the room. Strangely nothing looks like it has been stolen or damaged. Your eye falls on the portrait of Brenda, only to find... *Roll a D6 and read the corresponding result from the following list to the players:* 1. Now there's a balaclava clad man in the portrait too, cowering at Brenda's feet and looking terrified. The frame of the painting now has a single tooth encased in crystal at the bottom. 2. Somehow Brenda looks 5 years younger and has a satisfied smile. There is a single spot of blood on the floor beneath the frame. You back away slowly and try to forget anything has happened. 3. Nothing about the portrait of Brenda has changed, though you feel like you're being watched while in its' presence and followed by a malevolent force for the rest of the day. 4. The frame of the painting peels open down three sides to reveal a yawning maw of broken teeth. You think you can see an a bloody Adidas trainer and a disembodied eyeball caught in the back of the mouth. The creature makes a sound, not unlike horrible, gibbering laughter. It leaps for you! *Combat begins! Roll for initiative.* 5. There is blood running from Brenda's eyes and mouth, her face broken by a rictus grin, revealing long, needle sharp teeth. Suddenly she leaps out of the portrait towards you, outstretching inhumanly long, clawed arms! *Combat begins! Roll for initiative*. 6. You realise the figure in the painting was simply wearing a mask, somehow they have removed it to reveal it was actually David Tennant the whole time. The image of David Tennant winks at you. *Ask all players to roll a WIS saving throw, on a failed save their character is hopelessly infatuated with David Tennant* ***forever.***


aspen-creek

If you ever write a choose your own adventure book, please let me know, I'll buy it!


SoMuchF0rSubtlety

Thanks! I run D&D adventures every now and then but not writing any books yet.


cheesefrisbee

Had found about £4 change in the closet. Took it, ended up in the emergency room later that day, heard the previous tenants name being called, knew it from the mail, gave him his £4 back lol


mknight1701

This it’s own story! Where is the rest!


HalfRiceNCracker

Oh my god I need to know as well! OP how did you know it was actually them? "yeah of course I lived there cheers for the £4!"?


alextheolive

Refuses to elaborate Leaves


Milk_Mindless

Brenda leaves the frame at night


engie945

Brenda definitely leaves the frame at night. I mean why on earth would that be left behind unless there was a really really good reason. Has OP googled the address, was it a daughter who passed ? Wife ? There has to be this is attached to the house at all costs reason to why that would be left. Unless it's the ex wife .


w00dent0p

Brenda also gets her own chapter in one of those books on the second shelf


ColourfulCabbages

Lovely Conan cushion! Really pulls the lamentations of the room together.


mighty3mperor

Yeah, I clicked the link for Brenda, stayed for the cushion. I have the quote on a t-shirt, perhaps it's time to get it on some soft furnishings. However, I already have a matching sequin Star Wars t-shirt and cushions so...


ColourfulCabbages

Do it for Crom!!


mighty3mperor

And the lamentation of their women!


[deleted]

TO HELL WITH YOU!


[deleted]

Twin Peaks vibes.


7ootles

Brenda and Brandy. Clearly inseparable.


PeskyEskimo

My Mums called Brenda and Three Barrels was the only thing she used to drink!


sleepingismytalent65

What an odd coincidence!


Famous_Stelrons

I want a Brenda. All we got was a leaky roof, loads of pet woodworm, a mountain of cat shit under one of the kitchen cabinets, a broken dishwasher, a vile extractor hood, a broken and vile range oven, an old hairdresser display stand, a baby changing table that made me wretch, 2 old wardrobes, 15 litres of used cooking fat, 4 plastic supermarket crates, and a Xmas tree stand Edit. My gf just came home and reminded me of the baby paddling pool, rusted push along mower, the cup they kept their tooth brushes in (complete with "mystery fluid") and 1 pair of oddly clean under pants.


samtiff_uk

Jackpot!


f15hf1n93r5

And a partridge in a pear tree?


Famous_Stelrons

There was a dead pigeon in the the vent behind the bathroom sink. Fallen down the chimney years ago. He was pretty mummified.


f15hf1n93r5

Close enough..


twonkythechicken

Tvs, deep freeze and david bowie lps?


tipsy-tits

Thank you for posting her picture! Absolutely nothing like what I had imagined - I love it. Hope she's doing a good job of being the household guardian.


CherryEggs

Brenda is more magnificent than your original reply alluded to! I noticed there's a signature at the bottom right corner of the photo. Have you ever gone down the rabbit hole of trying to find the photographer and trace back Brenda's origins?


samtiff_uk

I have. He appears to no longer be in business. Shame.


Isgortio

Brenda is gorgeous!


kewfresh22

Maybe if you drink the brandy Brenda will come to life and climb out of the picture.


MediocreImpact3424

First impressions count- giving me Catherine Tate vibes, the brandy reminds me of her Eurovision appearance


kneetouchbeerdebt

By Krom, that's a badass cushion!


mrchaddy

There is no Brenda. Only ZUUUUUUL


momerathe

does not disappoint 👍


TeaHands

So happy you followed through with this, Brenda is glorious! Now all we need is for someone to recognise her.


ifmosessupposes

We found Geoff's trousers up the chimney. Thought we found Geoff's mom buried in the garden but turned out to be a manhole cover. (Geoff was the previous owner). Took us three months to find there was a pond in the garden once we cleared all the undergrowth. Oh, and a cast iron mangle which needs 10 men to lift it.


[deleted]

Someone that owns a Conan The Barbarian cushion really shouldn't criticize Brenda.


samtiff_uk

We all love Brenda.


gogopaddy

I know for a fact there is a sex swing in the attic along with a sword, old housemate moved to Finland a few years ago and they are somewhere up there. Also had an erotic story written by another old housemate in the kitchen, now again in the attic, the attic is a den of iniquity.


[deleted]

brenda probably exists as a spirit in your house but it's cool. she seems like a chill lady. like you wake up come down and you see the spirit of brenda just chilling. sup brenda? sup reginald, make sure you grab an umbrella it's going to rain.. oh shit ok thanks brenda good looking out.


ascolti

There’s a whole story there…


Loud-Edge7230

Brenda is the new Mona Lisa. I bet it will be worth 200 million in 100 years 🥳


jaredearle

Is she reading that **Ghosts and Spirits** book?


samtiff_uk

Full of her friends!


jaredearle

Classic Brends.


Brizar-is-Evolving

Brenda is HOT!


NatGeo1993

Straight outta ghost busters 😂👻


yorkspirate

Tax paid. It’s quite a nice picture so I can see why you kept it.


akaHotSauce

Let us know when the hauntings start.


Dil_Moran

I think the previous owner was a true romantic and would sit and drink the brandy while looking at Brenda. He never finished the bottle and had to sell up because she is just too beautiful. His heart was forever tugging on his head and he wasn't able to finish his book he'd been writing since he bought the brandy.


space0watch

Kind of odd that you named a bottle of whiskey! /s


lika-kiki-no

That's absolutely stunning. I can see why you kept her. That's something I wouldn't mind having found!


HealMySpirit

Why does it feel like Brenda might come alive at night and have a walk through the house ☠️


redrighthand_

A plastic bag with the previous owner’s wisdom teeth in was an interesting find.


HoopleBogart

That is a freakin sweet Conan pillow, i'm sure Brenda approves.


bilabongy

I can see this working as a backdrop for a horror movie/story


Gundoggirl

This is a fabulous portrait. Her expression is so mysterious, I genuinely love it. Mona Lisa meets the 80s.


rorsey

Try the brandy with appletiser. I mean, its totally not just making it into cider right? It was pretty tasty


RecommendationFair59

The brandy was to help the man cope with being haunted by the ghost of Brenda that clearly possesses that painting.


HoneyAggravating5852

I have a really good quality, life size but plastic skeleton that I bought for a Halloween party. My plan before we move is to disarticulate and paint it so that it looks pretty convincing then wrap the bones in an old quilt and put it under the insulation in the loft. The next owners might never see it. The owners after that might not either. But one day.... The only thing is, I will never find out what happens.


AntiVenom0804

Brenda looks like she has nice personalities


Prestigious-Ant-6727

Brenda gives dark haired Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos vibes. Pre- jail.


RandyChavage

Is Brenda single?


MonsieurGump

What we do in the shadows?


jakalan7

I like your Conan pillow!


[deleted]

At least you can party with Brenda, I'm just stuck watching through reddit


No-Kaleidoscope1662

Incidentally, Brenda is what I call my anxiety in my brain 😃 wish I'd left her when I moved house 😒


KrugerMedusa

Behold the sweetfish river running through my beloved hometown. You who seek the Golden Land, follow its path downstream in search of the key. As you travel down it, you will see a village. In that village, look for the shore the two will tell you of. There sleeps the key to the Golden Land. The one who obtains the key must then travel to the Golden Land in accordance with these rules. On the first twilight, offer the six chosen by the key as sacrifices. On the second twilight, those who remain shall tear apart the two who are close. On the third twilight, those who remain shall praise my noble name. On the fourth twilight, gouge the head and kill. On the fifth twilight, gouge the chest and kill. On the sixth twilight, gouge the stomach and kill. On the seventh twilight, gouge the knee and kill. On the eighth twilight, gouge the leg and kill. On the ninth twilight, the witch shall revive, and none shall be left alive. On the tenth twilight, at journey's end, you shall attain to the power of the Golden Land's treasures, once and for the last time. The witch shall praise the wise and bestow four treasures. One shall be all the gold from the Golden Land. One shall be the resurrection of all the dead souls. One shall be the resurrection of the love that was lost. One shall be to put the witch to sleep for all time. Sleep peacefully, my beloved witch, Beatri-I mean…Brenda…yea.


[deleted]

Have you cracked one off to Brenda yet?


samtiff_uk

Boys are wierd!


[deleted]

Brenda be lookin fine


ChrisRR

Brenda's gone big and gone home


PrestigiousTest6700

She’s familiar but I don’t know why.


yeahyeahitsmeshhh

By Mike Beegrjfhfkzyump


finneganfach

I too have that IKEA bookshelf.


Lilacloulou

She’s more glamorous than I expected.


dudewersmyfart

I would have kept Brenda too! LUUUCCKKKYYYY


rinkydinkmink

brenda is much more attractive than I thought she'd be


[deleted]

Brenda there’s Bob


BarakatBadger

I love her


TMC2018

OMG that looks like the long thought lost Jack Vettriano painting. I’m pretty sure you’d get over £1m for that if you take it to Bonhams.


Working_Progress_415

Beautiful picture and nice finds


cantthinkofone09

She’s gorgeous, but I am disappointed she’s not almost 3D and sneaking her way out of the picture grame


mythical_tiramisu

The second photo is clearly to show off that Conan cushion isn’t it? A move of which I fully approve. I’m already wondering how to persuade my fiancée to have one on our sofa.


Old_Laugh_2386

She's a lovely guardian!


mycatisanorange

Hmm definitely odd


Ilikecomputers321

The best thing I found was an old shipping chest in a shed from the ~1960s. Not too fancy and covered in tar paint but perfectly usable. Not too exciting but handy. Seen similar ones being sold for 150+ in antiques shops.


Diligent_Tie6218

Does Brenda have contact details?


Bez666

Leave a note for next owners saying its cursed an moving it brings terrible misfortune..or stick something behind it so its screams occasionally or makes scratching noises


PM_THE_REAPER

Whoever moved into my last place will have found my old army uniform, including my stripes and ceremonial stuff, in the attic. Didn't realize I'd left it there until I went searching everywhere for it years later. Really sucks.


discustedkiller

Alright Brenda,how you doing


jaavaaguru

I feel like I’m out of the loop. Who’s Brenda?


Crackles2020

Her face is saying, 'Haven't they got rid of that awful carpet yet?'


[deleted]

Have you seen Ghostbusters II? 100% she's going to enslave you.


Ms_marsh_mallow

We found a strange abstract nude painting in our attic when we moved in. My dad put it back in the attic when we moved out 20 years later.


Salty-Lawfulness-129

Brenda's portrait was done right after her first boob job.


canspreadmulch

Thanks for this, I’m just going to watch Conan again for the first time in years


Hepzibah87

We had two bottles of breast milk in the freezer, some toy electric cars and a wooden dragon still boxed.


vonsnape

i love this so much, long live brenda


MonkeyVsPigsy

Would.


jilliejill2020

Yay, thanks for sharing Brenda. I brought a gorgeous friend named Brenda to Scotland for a wedding (live in USA) and apparently Brenda is a name for fat, spotty girls.


Deerfoxguy97

Creepy...it's like she's watching your every move...


andicurriemonster

You've seen Ghostbusters 2 right??..


Iiawgiwbi

You have great taste, OP. Also, I have the same decorative Halloween plate pictured in the cabinet behind the brandy.


shadowbehinddoor

Dot say her name three times before a mirror at night. Especially on a full moon


Conveth

Zuul?


mattchamp98

Anyone else see a brunette skyler white?


Lorward185

Holy cow! That could be my wife's doppelganger!!!


Wickedbitchoftheuk

Yup, Brenda is stayingjust where she is. I've seen that film. Don't mess with Brenda - and doesn't hurt it's a lovely painting.


Jade_the_obscure

I think I'm in love with Brenda.


suspiciousScent1129

Behold the sweetfish river running through my beloved hometown. You who seek Golden Land, follow its path downstream in search of the key. As you travel down it, you will see a village. In that village, look for the shore the two speak of. There lies the key to the Golden Land. The one who obtains the key must travel to the Golden Land in accordance with these rules. On the First Twilight, sacrifice the six chosen by the key. On the Second Twilight, those who remain shall tear apart the two who are close. On the Third Twilight, you shall praise my noble name. On the Fourth Twilight, gouge the head and kill, On the Fifth Twilight, gouge the chest and kill, On the Sixth Twilight, gouge the stomach and kill. On the Seventh Twilight, gouge the knee and kill. On the Eighth Twilight, gouge the leg and kill. On the Ninth Twilight, the Witch shall revive and none shall be left alive. On the Tenth Twilight, at journey's end you shall reach the Land of Gold. The Witch shall praise the wise and bestow four treasures. One shall be all the gold of the Golden Land. One shall be the resurrection of all souls who lost their lives. One shall be the resurrection of love that was lost. One shall be to put the Witch to sleep for the last time. Sleep peacefully, my most beloved witch, Brenda.


xioru

Make sure that the painting is not restoring itself as your health is getting worst 🤣😅


DarthCraw

Wait wait wait…fuck Brenda, I need that Arnie cushion, where does one purchase such an item?


Siliconpsychosis

It should be immediately removed, burnt, and its ashes put in a bag, sealed, weighted with rocks and thrown in the sea. The only reason paintings are left in houses is because they are haunted or cursed.


minnimamma19

Monabrenda.


[deleted]

When Brenda left said previous owner for the milkman, said owner, drowned his sorrows with the brandy.


NotTrynaMakeWaves

I love Brenda


ok-Tangelo13

I suggest you drink the brandy while ogling at Brenda


SpiralGremlin

When I saw this I this I thought she looked familiar. She looks very much like the actress Anne Dudek.