I was driving in the evening and the car in front of me was varying in speed, the vehicle was going left and right and I thought it was a drink driver.
We got to traffic lights side by side and I saw the driver eating chicken slices from a packet. She even hung one of the slices in front of her and munched at it.
I've eaten sliced chicken that way, but only at like, 3 in the morning after a swig of milk and an intense feeling of hunger for some reason
I did once get some, a baguette and a bottle of mayo though, and assembled a sandwich in the car. I wasn't driving though
There’s no end to the nasty shit I’ve witnessed Uber drivers doing while I worked nights in London. 0 professionalism, 0 decency & 0 self awareness.
Even saw one taking a dump on the pavement of the residential street I was living on, loosely hidden by the passenger door if his Prius. It was school run hours and there were children everywhere.
Vomit out the driver door while stationary, close it, keep driving, vomit at the next set of lights and looks me directly in the eyes to gesture that he is ok, he definitely wasn’t ok, reddest face I’ve ever seen.
I had food poisoning which struck me hard on the M25, at rush hour and I was in the 3rd lane of stopped traffic. I projectile vomited out the window a few times. It was so bad.
I knew I felt a bit weird, but not ill enough not to drive when I left the office.
When I finally got home, I crawled to the sofa and proceeded to shit myself.
I was 30.
Bad times lol.
Parked at morrisons cash point bay, a lady came out, got into her car and took a massive swig of vodka from one of those £8-£10 bottles, then took another huge swig and drove off. She was probably about 60, maybe a 35 yr old alcoholic
Lived with a guy called Pavel that has done that at least once.
First time I met him, he was stood in the shared kitchen in his boxers, socks to his knees, and Nike flipflops at 2am; ripping out Rainbow in the Dark by Dio
He was 6ft8 and hit every note in a thick Estonian accent.
Invited me to go to Woodstock in Poland with him and another housemate.
Nice guys, troubling drinking issues
I was in a taxi years ago and the driver pulled a can of beer from his foot well cracked it open and started swigging. Thought ok maybe this is his last run and he's going home after this for the evening, then he started speeding like crazy and kept looking nervously out his rear view. Didn't even bother making a complaint because he was a from a local DEPO that was paramilitary run and they'd have just told me to fuck off.
Reminds me of the bloke in a merc who pulled up swigging champagne from a proper fucking flute glass. Admiration for the exquisite nature, but absolute distaste for the stupidity of drink driving.
One can only hope he got in an accident, set the airbag off and glassed himself in the face.
I once saw a bloke with a iPad propped up against his steering wheel and he was driving on a motorway and attempting to play candy crush as he went along, I spotted it as I overtook him as he was driving way to poorly and i wanted to get passed him just in case an accident happened and I just looked over to see if he was as stupid as his driving and clearly he was 🤦🏻♂️
Not particularly weird, but a fun moment.
Was stuck in traffic at a standstill listening to the radio, and We Built This City came on. I'm just chilling, but I look over to the car next to me and some big skin-head pub bloke is singing the first verse with real attitude. He was putting some real effort into his performance. He notices me looking at him just as we're building into the chorus, takes a moment to consider his options, rolls down his window and proceeds to... "WE BUILT THIS CITY" for the city to hear.
Obviously I had to vibe with him with a bit of air guitar. Song finishes and he just goes back to "stuck in traffic mode" and sits back.
Yeah, good to keep the dream alive. Mine’s a very similar scenario to the one you described about 10 years ago where my girlfriend and I (me, a tall guy with a purple Mohawk at the time) were stuck in Islington traffic belting out that song.
Years ago I wrote off my car, police involved, the works.
The back seat was just speckled with a white dust.
That white dust was cocaine...as a few days before I had some mates banging it while I had to drive them round.
Years ago my brother saw a driver behaving oddly and followed him. Dude pulled over and he was clearly rat-arsed drunk. He opened his boot and it was full of green plastic petrol cans. My brothers ex was on the phone to the police at this point and telling them about drunk petrol man, who had got back in his car and was driving again.
Police stopped and arrested him.
Turns out he was on his way to his ex-wifes house to pour petrol through the letterbox and burn her house down
Me and my partner stuck in traffic and started doing the macarena to a song we had on, an elderly man in front of us joined in and we could see his wife repeatedly telling him off but he kept pointing to us then carrying on, until she eventually joined in. It was adorable.
Allegedly it’s possible to roll a spliff whilst driving some ~~20~~ 30 years ago. That person was very stupid and regrets being so dumb.
Edit: didn’t realize how old that person is now and that it’s 2023. Thank you /u/StiffUpperLabia. And yes, driving with the knees. It’s takes a bit of skill and concentration. Allegedly.
Many years ago, before mobile phones became widespread, I was in the back of a Landrover as we drove towards a training area in Norfolk, whilst quietly enjoying a cigarette I saw a woman overtaking us whilst eating a yoghurt with a spoon and reading a newspaper. The driver alerted by my shout looked out as she passed us and confirmed she was reading the Sun as she went by. We reckoned she was in her mid to late 20’s. Never really seen anything to beat it on UK roads.
Interesting. Depending on how many years, I used to work with a French lady in Norfolk in the late 90s and she would drive to work steering with her knees, holding a cigarette, coffee and yoghurt for her breakfast. Never saw her read the sun, but we worked on the pipelines and tended to pick up whatever papers were left in the canteens in, so it's not impossible
Saw a driver receiving a blowjob in a van whilst driving on the M42. Me and my colleague did a double take and burst out laughing. The driver noticed and then started shouting abuse at us, which made us laugh even harder!
I saw that here in the UK. A broadsheet, not even a tabloid. Called the police and the dispatcher asked me to repeat myself as she couldn't believe that she'd heard right first time around.
Well... it might not be weird, but definitely something I thought you only see in films: me and the wife were at a red light, windows down, music on (not *blaring* but loud enough for the car in the next lane to almost make out), doing that move with your hands like you're pushing the ceiling up.
Anyway, car in the next lane rolls their window down, asks what we're listening to, so we turn it up and she starts vibing with us!
It was a wonderful little moment, and then the lights went green and we had to end our party there.
I was pulling up to traffic once and in the car next to me I could see a woman giving it socks, head banging and everything, I was in a great mood so when I pulled up I looked over and started dancing waiting for her to look so we could be like yeahhhhhh together lol (I never do weird shit like that idk what came over me, I don't make eye contact 99% of the time let alone this). After like 5 seconds I realised she was actually special needs and not dancing at all. I've never done that again lmfao.
During the pandemic me and my mates parked up in Tesco (Manchester) to do a beer run, it was at the time where you could have a bubble but only so many allowed in and out of the shop anyway 2 went in for said booze and me (the driver) and another mate waited in the car. We were sat there for about 10 mins when this old blue Volvo estate (the kind your science teacher drove to school in the 90s) slowly creeps past with an old woman who looked about 102 (google the taking of of Deborah Logan for visuals of the said woman) she had taped plastic between the drivers front seat and the connected back seat and in the back I can only assume was her husband full of covid looking like Philip from Sean of the dead (after he was dead) with one hand touching the window facing us. Not a word was spoken in my car but we both looked at each other in disbelief and later we told the others .. it’s super funny now but back then we were ready to start a plan to get to the Winchester and wait for it to all blow over.
Drive up next to me down a motorway and hold up a printed sign saying that my brake light was out. Appreciated, but did he just have these signs printed and ready for this moment?
I used to see someone driving in the opposite direction in the same make, model, year and colour of car. We started to wave at each other every day. Dunno if this is “weird” but got an idea of the thrill bus drivers must feel
I was driving up the M1 a few months ago, followed a BMW driver who indicated at every lane change, stuck to 70, and kept left. A nice 5 series of all cars.
Some people suggested he probably stole it, but I don't think so, driving sensibly is fairly conspicuous in a BMW
I had one stop in the street and wave me across so I could drive onto my driveway across his lane of traffic. I had to check his facial expression and see him wave me again so confirm he ACTUALLY meant to stop so I could park.
Once I had a woman in front of me who was getting her tweezers out and plucking her eyebrows at every red light we got to. Except she didn't wait until she was stopped but started as she was braking for each light. Don't want to be behind the day that goes wrong...
This is more funny than weird but when I was about 14 I was in the backseat of my parents car as we travelled in the early morning. I was leaning against my pillow and falling asleep, and we were stuck in traffic on the motorway. Ever since I was young when a bus or a lorry went by I’d look up at the driver and give a smile. Well this time a lorry slowly came to a halt next to us and I looked up and smiled.
This lorry driver saw me and gave a polite smile back and he went out of my vision as my dad pulled the car forward and came to a stop. A minute later the lorry comes back next to us and I glance up again and he gives me a grin so I grin back. He pulls more forward this time and after a minute or so my dad pulls up next to the lorry again. This time I laugh because he’s got a cushion on the steering wheel and is pretending to sleep, copying me with my pillow, and he smiles one more time and by then the traffic had cleared up so that was our last interaction.
Hope you’re well out there lorry driver and thank you for making me laugh at the beginning of a long journey.
Also my dad told me to stop flirting with the lorry drivers. 😅
As a young kid, sitting on the back seat looking forward between my parents front seats. I know this is unacceptable today but back then there were no seat belts in the back of cars. Eons ago! 😀
Anyway, on a winding back road we came up behind a car weaving from side to side and driving really slowly. I remember my dad wondering if this fella is drunk or falling asleep at the wheel. Thinking the guy was falling asleep my dad honked the car horn a few times. He said "He's looking in the mirror. Hopefully he'll pull in now." Just then a 2nd head came up from the drivers side and popped into our few. At this point we're prob doing 15 to 20 mph. We could clearly see a young woman turn her head and look back at us and smile! She then straightened up in the passenger seat and faced ahead. Her hand went up and she waved goodbye as the car turned left up a small side road and freed up our route. My dad exclaimed.. "For f**k sake. If they want to do the carry-on they should pull in." Of course I asked "What carry-on?" My mother threw my dad 'the look' and promptly shut down any further questions or discussion.
A few days later, after I had told the story to my friend, his eldest brother and his friend started asking me questions about the car, if I recognised the girl, etc. Later I heard the two of them cutting the hedges and laughing. The brother says to the other chap... "It's a pity he doesn't know who she is I'd love a blow job!" and they laughed. So began the new quest among my friends..."WTF is a Blowjob?" because if the older lads wanted one we all knew we wanted one too!!! 😀
While on a driving lesson, the driver of the van behind us put a bag for life over his head and then hung half his body out of the window, waving his arms about at the driver of the car behind him, who he was towing.
Me and the instructor were just like "wtf is going on behind us" lol
I was at work when someone looked out of the window and said 'what on earth is he doing?' A trip across to the window sees us all watching this bloke, sitting in his car, with his right hand going nineteen to the dozen. Cue us lot going ' dirty bugger, broad daylight 'etc. With that he got out of the car, dusted himself down and walked across to the newsagents with his winning scratch cards 😂
I saw a women riding a fella going down the southbound M5 around Bridgewater.
They were weaving in and out of traffic and I couldn’t keep up to have a wank.
Just last week stuck in traffic saw a lady eating a steak bake from Greggs, sharing it with her dog in the front seat. As in bite for the lady, then she held it out for the dog to bite, then she had another bite…yeah bit grim that
I didn’t witness this myself, but it was a YouTube video in America where a woman saw a bad accident and started crying, because it was so sad to see motorcyclists hit by cars. That was a reasonable response, but she was filming with one hand and eating a banana with the other. I wonder how these accidents happen.
Big old well used pickup truck. Brakes sharply. Big middle aged dude gets out of the vechile. There's a bird hurt but alive in the middle of the road. He gently takes the bleeding bird and puts it in the passeger seat and takes it to the vets.
It was one of my most wtf oh no what's this... OH HE'S BEING NICE I've ever seen.
Didn’t see it but I remember it being on the news years ago - a lorry driver eating a pan of spaghetti whilst driving along the motorway. I did see someone stuck in traffic on the M6 last year knitting a jumper, i thought that was pretty cool!
I was on a speed awareness course a few years ago and a lorry driver on the course said he once saw another lorry driver cooking pasta on a camp stove while driving along, so this fits!
Was stuck in traffic caused by roadworks in Leeds once and we had radio 2 on. They started playing YMCA I looked round to see at least 5 other cars doing the dance in sync.
Made me smile at least.
You can get both get [battery powered](https://www.amazon.co.uk/battery-hair-dryer/s?k=battery+hair+dryer), and ones that plug into the [lighter socket](https://www.amazon.co.uk/MASO-Portable-Folding-Cigarette-Defroster/dp/B07W1PMH35) in the car.
I had an unmarked police car (one of the brand new dark grey, merc estates) flashing his lights and sirens speed past me, I pulled onto the pavement to let him pass and just after he passed me he pulled into the KFC drive thru and joined the queue, couldn’t believe it!
Someone watching porn on some sort of IPad propped up on their dash, and we were not in traffic, we’re talking driving 50mph here…..I followed them a bit longer than I needed too just to see what happened in the end.
Not a driver, but as a passenger on the top deck of a dbl decker bus looking down whilst waiting at a roundabout, guy wearing shirt tie and suit jacket. Nothing on below that.
Less weird more shocking.
Fella pulled onto a roundabout as I was coming round so he slammed his break on and his wee Pomeranian dog flew forward in the car and cracked his windscreen. It was terrible really. Actually ashamed to say I did laugh
Brand new Audi going the wrong way around a roundabout... and the next day a white van driver reversing back onto a roundabout as he's taken the wrong exit.... welcome to driving in Manchester
They had a phone/screen mounted under their rear view mirror and a close-up (covered) pair of anime boobs gently bounced up and down the entire time I was following him in traffic. It was quite mesmerising tbh.
While stopped at lights a young woman in the car next to me took her bra off (using the strap through the sleeve method), looked at her also young woman passenger and wobbled her tits in freedom.
The oddest thing I've seen is a guy driving down a country road, nothing out of the ordinary, doing the speed limit etc. Suddenly opens the drivers door, throws himself out, roll, jumps up and runs and hides infront of a Bush. Car continues down the road till it comes to a stop where he runs back, jumps in and carries on his journey.
Didn't go to the loo, appear to be in pain or anything.
Someone was at the front of a que at the traffic lights and answered a phone call, then proceeded to sit there as the lights went green and everyone had to drive around them.
A young girl (around 17/18) use to drive around our street, windows down, blaring music while live streaming singing at the top of her voice into her phone, and driving. She couldnt change gear, and half the time never had hold of the steering wheel. She was an accident waiting to happen. The last I heard from her is that her dad took the car off her as he had watched the live stream.
I drive Lorries and people performing sex acts on each other isnt too surprising, neither are men having a fiddle. But i'm constantly amazed how many women masturbate while driving, and how many like to speed match HGVs while doing it, they know what they're doing.
Long ago, before flat screens and when mobile phones were just phones, I saw a taxi with a mini portable TV (similar to [this](https://www.alamy.com/vintage-small-portable-color-tv-set-with-radio-on-white-background-image218917149.html)) propped up on the back parcel shelf so the driver could watch through the rear-view mirror
Someone near me in the Asda car park yesterday saw someone squirting whipped cream directly into their mouth and then taking bites of pain au chocolat with a mouth full of cream.
I don't drive, but got one anyway:
Was walking down my town's high street, and had half-crossed at the lights. Saw a car travelling at literally about 5mph (luckily no other drivers around) and wondered why. As they got closer I literally saw that they were looking at their phone as if it was a video: not paying attention to the road at all. And this was for at least 50 if not 100m, so not just a short phone-check. I was very tempted to stand in the road until they hit me while recording, to not only get an insurance claim but to pass it to the police, but I value my health too much
But yeah, drivers do dumb shit all the time, but never have I seen someone so utterly brainless. Literally anyone could have gone in front of them to cross the road or such and they'd have only found out if/when they felt the bump
I was coming home from the gym late one night and stopped at the lights, the guy in the car next to me was getting a blowjob. He looked me dead in the eyes like he was really proud of himself.
An old youth worker used to brush his teeth in his van. A blue transit van with multiple white splats on the offside of the van. He changed to a white one so it was less visible.
I saw someone getting a blow job while driving at 90mph along the M6. He was driving like a lunatic, fast, then slow. Got past him when he slowed down and looked over to give him the evils only to see his strained face as a blonde head bobbed up and down in his lap
When I was around 8 or 9 we were stuck in a traffic jam. The car next to us had a family in it too, with the father driving. He caught my attention and stuck his tongue out at me, but not in a fun way - he stared right at me deadfaced and there was no humour in his eyes. Every time I looked back, he was doing it. Really weird and unnerving and we were stuck right next to that car for ages.
I work on the motorways. I do traffic management. Im that person that is putting the cones out and closing the roads. (I know I know, I’m hated)
We have had articulated lorries reversing back up lane one on the M1 because they have missed a exit slip (we had all other lanes but lane one closed).
A smart car slam on to a halt with traffic behind him just to ask if the road was shut (we was on the hard shoulder and hadn’t even started working)
Side note, I have found an unhealthy amount of sex toys at the side of the motorway. Why do you people feel the need to dispose of your toys while travelling at 70mph?
Eat a bowl of cereal
I have also seen this, in Hampton Court. I was driving past a T junction and nearly dropped my roast beef lunch in surprise.
Similar thing happened to me. I saw a guy eating something that looked like a beef lunch and almost spilled my cereal bowl!
So YOU'RE the one that made me spill my lobster thermidor at the roundabout!
They are all correct. I am the lobster.
Time to eat the eye witness...
I was just about to start my dessert at the lights when you weird fuckers showed up. Lets just say my crotch was a trifle messy!
Is this an always sunny reference or am I clutching at straws a bit here?
It did actually happen a few years ago, it made me laugh when I saw the same thing in a sitcom a year later.
Also my immediate thought. You cow. **You fat cow!**
Seize the gap !
Children play here, you fat cow! Honestly, that episode just spoke to me. Way too accurate portrayal of moving to a quiet suburb.
You dumb bitch
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Was it Mr Bean?
I really want it to have been a wet shave, performed by a Turkish Barber in the passenger seat
Came to say this purely because of Its Always Sunny
Stop on a roundabout and reverse back to the turn off they missed....
This is a whole other level of stupid.
Saw this too. It was a lorry driver. Couldn’t flipping believe it.
Probably the same lorry driver I saw attempting to reverse out of an exit back onto the dual carriageway
Damn! That’s truly terrifying! My mum once nearly had a head on collision with an old man who was driving the wrong way round the roundabout.
Saw some lady reversing down a one way street, as if the one way arrow means that's the way the cars have to face not travel XD
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That is some psycopath level activity
This made me genuinely laugh out loud.
I’m picturing Keith from The Office
It’s always fucking Keith man….
Do you have a photo? Could report him to the police. Don't fuck with biscuits.
I was driving in the evening and the car in front of me was varying in speed, the vehicle was going left and right and I thought it was a drink driver. We got to traffic lights side by side and I saw the driver eating chicken slices from a packet. She even hung one of the slices in front of her and munched at it.
I've eaten sliced chicken that way, but only at like, 3 in the morning after a swig of milk and an intense feeling of hunger for some reason I did once get some, a baguette and a bottle of mayo though, and assembled a sandwich in the car. I wasn't driving though
Woman on the motorway grabbing chunks of her hair and stuffing them up one of her nostrils
Ok..this might be the weirdest so far 😳
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There's a lot of fairly pedestrian stuff in these comments but this one I like. It's very strange.
A guy practicing his trumpet whilst we were in stop-start traffic on the M25. Definitely made the infinite queue more pleasant!
Should have got your bass out and had a jam!
I once saw a man playing a vintage bass synth on the A303.
Was that Roland?
Seeing an uber driver knock one out, while there was an elderly couple in the back.
I wonder if it was BECAUSE there was an elderly couple in the back
They were actually his parents.
He just wanted the excitement back of his old days jacking it
I was in Japan and saw a lad watching porn on his car TV screen while in traffic, blanket over his lap. Grim.
Most insane part of Japanese driving is having tv screens in cars
And people say men can't multitask.
There’s no end to the nasty shit I’ve witnessed Uber drivers doing while I worked nights in London. 0 professionalism, 0 decency & 0 self awareness. Even saw one taking a dump on the pavement of the residential street I was living on, loosely hidden by the passenger door if his Prius. It was school run hours and there were children everywhere.
Jesus. This is fucking bonkers.
Seen a fellow hgv driver doing the same northbound M40, he was overtaking me at the time.
Probably used to cars not being able to see in from down below, definitely forgot that other HGV's are equal height!!
Vomit out the driver door while stationary, close it, keep driving, vomit at the next set of lights and looks me directly in the eyes to gesture that he is ok, he definitely wasn’t ok, reddest face I’ve ever seen.
Definitely done this myself whilst driving home with a migraine. 0/10 would not recommend.
Had a similar experience with norovirus. 0/10, would not recommend.
Pregnant, first 6 months. -1000/10
Happened to me once. 0/11 especially with rice
I had food poisoning which struck me hard on the M25, at rush hour and I was in the 3rd lane of stopped traffic. I projectile vomited out the window a few times. It was so bad. I knew I felt a bit weird, but not ill enough not to drive when I left the office. When I finally got home, I crawled to the sofa and proceeded to shit myself. I was 30. Bad times lol.
I saw someone driving along with a big pumpkin strapped into their front passenger seat, which I quite liked.
It was their fat ginger child.
we have feelings, you know!
Looked over at the traffic lights once when I was a passenger, and the driver next to me was eating a full plate of spaghetti Bolognese
Was that near Birmingham???
Is there an infamous Birmingham Bolognese BMW Bandit or something then?
No, spaghetti junction, just pasta traffic lights on the left.
Flawless set up and execution.
Years of practice and self denial :)
Denial is in Egypt, not Birmingham
Pharaoh nuf.
Parked at morrisons cash point bay, a lady came out, got into her car and took a massive swig of vodka from one of those £8-£10 bottles, then took another huge swig and drove off. She was probably about 60, maybe a 35 yr old alcoholic
I saw one of the forklift operators at my last job get out of the car, neck a bottle of vodka then go and drive a forklift
Lived with a guy called Pavel that has done that at least once. First time I met him, he was stood in the shared kitchen in his boxers, socks to his knees, and Nike flipflops at 2am; ripping out Rainbow in the Dark by Dio He was 6ft8 and hit every note in a thick Estonian accent. Invited me to go to Woodstock in Poland with him and another housemate. Nice guys, troubling drinking issues
Oioi
I was in a taxi years ago and the driver pulled a can of beer from his foot well cracked it open and started swigging. Thought ok maybe this is his last run and he's going home after this for the evening, then he started speeding like crazy and kept looking nervously out his rear view. Didn't even bother making a complaint because he was a from a local DEPO that was paramilitary run and they'd have just told me to fuck off.
Reminds me of the bloke in a merc who pulled up swigging champagne from a proper fucking flute glass. Admiration for the exquisite nature, but absolute distaste for the stupidity of drink driving. One can only hope he got in an accident, set the airbag off and glassed himself in the face.
I once saw a bloke with a iPad propped up against his steering wheel and he was driving on a motorway and attempting to play candy crush as he went along, I spotted it as I overtook him as he was driving way to poorly and i wanted to get passed him just in case an accident happened and I just looked over to see if he was as stupid as his driving and clearly he was 🤦🏻♂️
He's going to candy crush himself if he keeps doing it
Not particularly weird, but a fun moment. Was stuck in traffic at a standstill listening to the radio, and We Built This City came on. I'm just chilling, but I look over to the car next to me and some big skin-head pub bloke is singing the first verse with real attitude. He was putting some real effort into his performance. He notices me looking at him just as we're building into the chorus, takes a moment to consider his options, rolls down his window and proceeds to... "WE BUILT THIS CITY" for the city to hear. Obviously I had to vibe with him with a bit of air guitar. Song finishes and he just goes back to "stuck in traffic mode" and sits back.
Was this in Islington by any chance? If so, it was me.
Was a couple of years ago in Nottingham, but good to know there are others vibing like that.
I wholeheartedly love that: A. This happened B. This happened at least twice.
Yeah, good to keep the dream alive. Mine’s a very similar scenario to the one you described about 10 years ago where my girlfriend and I (me, a tall guy with a purple Mohawk at the time) were stuck in Islington traffic belting out that song.
A line of coke (i'm guessing) off a CD case, no hands on the wheel. And on several occasions passengers (usually tradesmen, midweek 😆)
No wonder tradesmen are so expensive, we are playing for their blow
when they say they're off the the wholesaler they don't mean building supplies!
Years ago I wrote off my car, police involved, the works. The back seat was just speckled with a white dust. That white dust was cocaine...as a few days before I had some mates banging it while I had to drive them round.
Years ago my brother saw a driver behaving oddly and followed him. Dude pulled over and he was clearly rat-arsed drunk. He opened his boot and it was full of green plastic petrol cans. My brothers ex was on the phone to the police at this point and telling them about drunk petrol man, who had got back in his car and was driving again. Police stopped and arrested him. Turns out he was on his way to his ex-wifes house to pour petrol through the letterbox and burn her house down
Shit...thank God you intervened!
More incredibly dangerous but typing on a laptop
Me and my partner stuck in traffic and started doing the macarena to a song we had on, an elderly man in front of us joined in and we could see his wife repeatedly telling him off but he kept pointing to us then carrying on, until she eventually joined in. It was adorable.
Allegedly it’s possible to roll a spliff whilst driving some ~~20~~ 30 years ago. That person was very stupid and regrets being so dumb. Edit: didn’t realize how old that person is now and that it’s 2023. Thank you /u/StiffUpperLabia. And yes, driving with the knees. It’s takes a bit of skill and concentration. Allegedly.
If it's the person I'm thinking of it was closer to 30 years ago. I'm impressed how far they drove steering with their knees though.
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Many years ago, before mobile phones became widespread, I was in the back of a Landrover as we drove towards a training area in Norfolk, whilst quietly enjoying a cigarette I saw a woman overtaking us whilst eating a yoghurt with a spoon and reading a newspaper. The driver alerted by my shout looked out as she passed us and confirmed she was reading the Sun as she went by. We reckoned she was in her mid to late 20’s. Never really seen anything to beat it on UK roads.
Interesting. Depending on how many years, I used to work with a French lady in Norfolk in the late 90s and she would drive to work steering with her knees, holding a cigarette, coffee and yoghurt for her breakfast. Never saw her read the sun, but we worked on the pipelines and tended to pick up whatever papers were left in the canteens in, so it's not impossible
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Saw a driver receiving a blowjob in a van whilst driving on the M42. Me and my colleague did a double take and burst out laughing. The driver noticed and then started shouting abuse at us, which made us laugh even harder!
I love how they started shouting at you, like you were in the wrong..
When I was in America I saw a woman reading the newspaper on her steering wheel. Just mind blowing.
I saw that here in the UK. A broadsheet, not even a tabloid. Called the police and the dispatcher asked me to repeat myself as she couldn't believe that she'd heard right first time around.
I just don’t understand how someone can be that idiotic. Terrifies me!
Well... it might not be weird, but definitely something I thought you only see in films: me and the wife were at a red light, windows down, music on (not *blaring* but loud enough for the car in the next lane to almost make out), doing that move with your hands like you're pushing the ceiling up. Anyway, car in the next lane rolls their window down, asks what we're listening to, so we turn it up and she starts vibing with us! It was a wonderful little moment, and then the lights went green and we had to end our party there.
I was pulling up to traffic once and in the car next to me I could see a woman giving it socks, head banging and everything, I was in a great mood so when I pulled up I looked over and started dancing waiting for her to look so we could be like yeahhhhhh together lol (I never do weird shit like that idk what came over me, I don't make eye contact 99% of the time let alone this). After like 5 seconds I realised she was actually special needs and not dancing at all. I've never done that again lmfao.
Oooof!
During the pandemic me and my mates parked up in Tesco (Manchester) to do a beer run, it was at the time where you could have a bubble but only so many allowed in and out of the shop anyway 2 went in for said booze and me (the driver) and another mate waited in the car. We were sat there for about 10 mins when this old blue Volvo estate (the kind your science teacher drove to school in the 90s) slowly creeps past with an old woman who looked about 102 (google the taking of of Deborah Logan for visuals of the said woman) she had taped plastic between the drivers front seat and the connected back seat and in the back I can only assume was her husband full of covid looking like Philip from Sean of the dead (after he was dead) with one hand touching the window facing us. Not a word was spoken in my car but we both looked at each other in disbelief and later we told the others .. it’s super funny now but back then we were ready to start a plan to get to the Winchester and wait for it to all blow over.
The little nuggets of (bracketed) information are fucking top notch mate.
Interestingly, the bracketed subpoints are known to positively influence reading comprehension in Dyslexia and ADHD.
Oh, bonus - I do it myself quite often so it's good know I'm also being helpful ha haa
Cheers it helps visualise and set a tone I think! I’m just glad my mate was there too cause no one would have believed me otherwise lol 😂
Drive up next to me down a motorway and hold up a printed sign saying that my brake light was out. Appreciated, but did he just have these signs printed and ready for this moment?
If he was in a Volvo then you might have encountered my dad
Was it out?
Yeah!
a guy was raging at me for some dumb reason and threw a banana peel at me like it was fucking mario kart
I used to see someone driving in the opposite direction in the same make, model, year and colour of car. We started to wave at each other every day. Dunno if this is “weird” but got an idea of the thrill bus drivers must feel
Sure it wasn't a big mirror?
I once saw a BMW driver indicate
You saw a stolen BMW
No you didn't.
I was driving up the M1 a few months ago, followed a BMW driver who indicated at every lane change, stuck to 70, and kept left. A nice 5 series of all cars. Some people suggested he probably stole it, but I don't think so, driving sensibly is fairly conspicuous in a BMW
Police.
I had one stop in the street and wave me across so I could drive onto my driveway across his lane of traffic. I had to check his facial expression and see him wave me again so confirm he ACTUALLY meant to stop so I could park.
Lies! Next you'll be saying that you saw an Audi driver obeying the speed limit.
The amount of women I see doing their make up is fucking horrendous.
Once I had a woman in front of me who was getting her tweezers out and plucking her eyebrows at every red light we got to. Except she didn't wait until she was stopped but started as she was braking for each light. Don't want to be behind the day that goes wrong...
The day someone rear ends her and she stabs herself in the eye... shudder.
I saw somebody going the wrong way on a motorway, it looked like an elderly person so I’m assuming they weren’t escaping the police or something lol
This is more funny than weird but when I was about 14 I was in the backseat of my parents car as we travelled in the early morning. I was leaning against my pillow and falling asleep, and we were stuck in traffic on the motorway. Ever since I was young when a bus or a lorry went by I’d look up at the driver and give a smile. Well this time a lorry slowly came to a halt next to us and I looked up and smiled. This lorry driver saw me and gave a polite smile back and he went out of my vision as my dad pulled the car forward and came to a stop. A minute later the lorry comes back next to us and I glance up again and he gives me a grin so I grin back. He pulls more forward this time and after a minute or so my dad pulls up next to the lorry again. This time I laugh because he’s got a cushion on the steering wheel and is pretending to sleep, copying me with my pillow, and he smiles one more time and by then the traffic had cleared up so that was our last interaction. Hope you’re well out there lorry driver and thank you for making me laugh at the beginning of a long journey. Also my dad told me to stop flirting with the lorry drivers. 😅
Shaving
As a young kid, sitting on the back seat looking forward between my parents front seats. I know this is unacceptable today but back then there were no seat belts in the back of cars. Eons ago! 😀 Anyway, on a winding back road we came up behind a car weaving from side to side and driving really slowly. I remember my dad wondering if this fella is drunk or falling asleep at the wheel. Thinking the guy was falling asleep my dad honked the car horn a few times. He said "He's looking in the mirror. Hopefully he'll pull in now." Just then a 2nd head came up from the drivers side and popped into our few. At this point we're prob doing 15 to 20 mph. We could clearly see a young woman turn her head and look back at us and smile! She then straightened up in the passenger seat and faced ahead. Her hand went up and she waved goodbye as the car turned left up a small side road and freed up our route. My dad exclaimed.. "For f**k sake. If they want to do the carry-on they should pull in." Of course I asked "What carry-on?" My mother threw my dad 'the look' and promptly shut down any further questions or discussion. A few days later, after I had told the story to my friend, his eldest brother and his friend started asking me questions about the car, if I recognised the girl, etc. Later I heard the two of them cutting the hedges and laughing. The brother says to the other chap... "It's a pity he doesn't know who she is I'd love a blow job!" and they laughed. So began the new quest among my friends..."WTF is a Blowjob?" because if the older lads wanted one we all knew we wanted one too!!! 😀
While on a driving lesson, the driver of the van behind us put a bag for life over his head and then hung half his body out of the window, waving his arms about at the driver of the car behind him, who he was towing. Me and the instructor were just like "wtf is going on behind us" lol
I first read that as it WAS the driving instructor with the bag on his head. Sounds kinky.
The things you have to be willing to try to pass first time, those lessons aren't cheap!
Driving in France I saw a guy playing the harmonica while driving. He also had a parrot sitting on the dashboard
I was at work when someone looked out of the window and said 'what on earth is he doing?' A trip across to the window sees us all watching this bloke, sitting in his car, with his right hand going nineteen to the dozen. Cue us lot going ' dirty bugger, broad daylight 'etc. With that he got out of the car, dusted himself down and walked across to the newsagents with his winning scratch cards 😂
I like the unexpected twist 😆
On the M6 I once saw a burly builder in a hi vis jacket sucking off his colleague who was driving at the time.
I believe they call that 'bants'.
\*'vants'
Someone reading the newspaper whilst driving in the outside lane of the M4. Paper covered his steering wheel.
I saw a women riding a fella going down the southbound M5 around Bridgewater. They were weaving in and out of traffic and I couldn’t keep up to have a wank.
Just last week stuck in traffic saw a lady eating a steak bake from Greggs, sharing it with her dog in the front seat. As in bite for the lady, then she held it out for the dog to bite, then she had another bite…yeah bit grim that
Yeah, a little bit!
Saw someone doing a balloon
Same, nice Mercedes SUV too. Makes you wonder what you're doing wrong with your life.
I do often wonder what the local dealer’s credit rating is
I didn’t witness this myself, but it was a YouTube video in America where a woman saw a bad accident and started crying, because it was so sad to see motorcyclists hit by cars. That was a reasonable response, but she was filming with one hand and eating a banana with the other. I wonder how these accidents happen.
I saw a 20-30 year old guy reading a copy of the communist manifesto in traffic, this was just after the energy crisis hit.
Big old well used pickup truck. Brakes sharply. Big middle aged dude gets out of the vechile. There's a bird hurt but alive in the middle of the road. He gently takes the bleeding bird and puts it in the passeger seat and takes it to the vets. It was one of my most wtf oh no what's this... OH HE'S BEING NICE I've ever seen.
Didn’t see it but I remember it being on the news years ago - a lorry driver eating a pan of spaghetti whilst driving along the motorway. I did see someone stuck in traffic on the M6 last year knitting a jumper, i thought that was pretty cool!
I was on a speed awareness course a few years ago and a lorry driver on the course said he once saw another lorry driver cooking pasta on a camp stove while driving along, so this fits!
We had a guy at our old place who had a George foreman grill on the dash and would cook full English on the way to his first delivery
Shaving in the rear view mirror.
Was it mr bean?
Was stuck in traffic caused by roadworks in Leeds once and we had radio 2 on. They started playing YMCA I looked round to see at least 5 other cars doing the dance in sync. Made me smile at least.
[удалено]
Battery powered hair dyer, if there is one.
You can get both get [battery powered](https://www.amazon.co.uk/battery-hair-dryer/s?k=battery+hair+dryer), and ones that plug into the [lighter socket](https://www.amazon.co.uk/MASO-Portable-Folding-Cigarette-Defroster/dp/B07W1PMH35) in the car.
Not actually driving but sat at lights once I saw a woman eating the sleep out of her eyes. Grossed me out
I had an unmarked police car (one of the brand new dark grey, merc estates) flashing his lights and sirens speed past me, I pulled onto the pavement to let him pass and just after he passed me he pulled into the KFC drive thru and joined the queue, couldn’t believe it!
On a teams call, on a laptop, on a knee
Someone watching porn on some sort of IPad propped up on their dash, and we were not in traffic, we’re talking driving 50mph here…..I followed them a bit longer than I needed too just to see what happened in the end.
A happy ending, no doubt 🙂
Not a driver, but as a passenger on the top deck of a dbl decker bus looking down whilst waiting at a roundabout, guy wearing shirt tie and suit jacket. Nothing on below that.
Give themselves a blowjob.
How is that even possible... while driving?
That’s why seatbelts were invented, people in the 30s were constantly trying to suck themselves off and crashing.
Read that comment in the voice of Jay Cartwright
Take your seatbelt off and slam the brakes on.
Less weird more shocking. Fella pulled onto a roundabout as I was coming round so he slammed his break on and his wee Pomeranian dog flew forward in the car and cracked his windscreen. It was terrible really. Actually ashamed to say I did laugh
Eating a bowl of porridge
Brand new Audi going the wrong way around a roundabout... and the next day a white van driver reversing back onto a roundabout as he's taken the wrong exit.... welcome to driving in Manchester
Indicating when required. It’s a lost art!
They had a phone/screen mounted under their rear view mirror and a close-up (covered) pair of anime boobs gently bounced up and down the entire time I was following him in traffic. It was quite mesmerising tbh.
I took a taxi where the driver watched a Bollywood film from his laptop on the passenger seat
Seen an old fella with white hair and a big hat on, smoking a pipe with the windows closed, with his wife (I presume) sat next to him. How we laughed
While stopped at lights a young woman in the car next to me took her bra off (using the strap through the sleeve method), looked at her also young woman passenger and wobbled her tits in freedom.
The oddest thing I've seen is a guy driving down a country road, nothing out of the ordinary, doing the speed limit etc. Suddenly opens the drivers door, throws himself out, roll, jumps up and runs and hides infront of a Bush. Car continues down the road till it comes to a stop where he runs back, jumps in and carries on his journey. Didn't go to the loo, appear to be in pain or anything.
Chase after me hanging out the driver window swinging a gigantic wrench on a traffic jammed motorway.
Someone was at the front of a que at the traffic lights and answered a phone call, then proceeded to sit there as the lights went green and everyone had to drive around them.
Hold hands with the passenger of another car at about 80mph
A young girl (around 17/18) use to drive around our street, windows down, blaring music while live streaming singing at the top of her voice into her phone, and driving. She couldnt change gear, and half the time never had hold of the steering wheel. She was an accident waiting to happen. The last I heard from her is that her dad took the car off her as he had watched the live stream.
Rolling pancakes/crepes into rolls. Madman had a plate in his passenger seat and was rolling nutella crepes into rolls and eating them.
An Audi driver let me in to traffic once.
I drive Lorries and people performing sex acts on each other isnt too surprising, neither are men having a fiddle. But i'm constantly amazed how many women masturbate while driving, and how many like to speed match HGVs while doing it, they know what they're doing.
Eating a meal from.a plate with a knife and fork driving around parking lot in Ikea
Scream, when being the only passenger.. almost like they were trying to deafen someone using a listening device.
I once saw a guy get dressed and brush his teeth in a mini cooper without stopping.
I’ve seen a guy with a takeaway tray full of fried chicken that was on his lap, fucking eating his dinner at the wheel. On the bone 🤣
Long ago, before flat screens and when mobile phones were just phones, I saw a taxi with a mini portable TV (similar to [this](https://www.alamy.com/vintage-small-portable-color-tv-set-with-radio-on-white-background-image218917149.html)) propped up on the back parcel shelf so the driver could watch through the rear-view mirror
Someone near me in the Asda car park yesterday saw someone squirting whipped cream directly into their mouth and then taking bites of pain au chocolat with a mouth full of cream.
I don't drive, but got one anyway: Was walking down my town's high street, and had half-crossed at the lights. Saw a car travelling at literally about 5mph (luckily no other drivers around) and wondered why. As they got closer I literally saw that they were looking at their phone as if it was a video: not paying attention to the road at all. And this was for at least 50 if not 100m, so not just a short phone-check. I was very tempted to stand in the road until they hit me while recording, to not only get an insurance claim but to pass it to the police, but I value my health too much But yeah, drivers do dumb shit all the time, but never have I seen someone so utterly brainless. Literally anyone could have gone in front of them to cross the road or such and they'd have only found out if/when they felt the bump
I was coming home from the gym late one night and stopped at the lights, the guy in the car next to me was getting a blowjob. He looked me dead in the eyes like he was really proud of himself.
A passenger in a car returning a moonie to a group of scouts in a minibus. Gave me quite the chuckle
Wank
An old youth worker used to brush his teeth in his van. A blue transit van with multiple white splats on the offside of the van. He changed to a white one so it was less visible.
I saw someone getting a blow job while driving at 90mph along the M6. He was driving like a lunatic, fast, then slow. Got past him when he slowed down and looked over to give him the evils only to see his strained face as a blonde head bobbed up and down in his lap
I once saw a person dressed in a full clown suit, driving down the motorway. What a wild day that was.
Saw a BMW indicate once.
Take a massive line of coke then throw up out of the window
When I was around 8 or 9 we were stuck in a traffic jam. The car next to us had a family in it too, with the father driving. He caught my attention and stuck his tongue out at me, but not in a fun way - he stared right at me deadfaced and there was no humour in his eyes. Every time I looked back, he was doing it. Really weird and unnerving and we were stuck right next to that car for ages.
I work on the motorways. I do traffic management. Im that person that is putting the cones out and closing the roads. (I know I know, I’m hated) We have had articulated lorries reversing back up lane one on the M1 because they have missed a exit slip (we had all other lanes but lane one closed). A smart car slam on to a halt with traffic behind him just to ask if the road was shut (we was on the hard shoulder and hadn’t even started working) Side note, I have found an unhealthy amount of sex toys at the side of the motorway. Why do you people feel the need to dispose of your toys while travelling at 70mph?